All language subtitles for Loot.2022.S02E03.ATVP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.Atmos.H.264-FLUX.en[cc]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,265 [gasps] What are you doing here, Carlos? 2 00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:18,977 I'm here to take you. All of you, Joanna. 3 00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,562 You've got to get out of here. 4 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:23,106 My husband, the mayor, will be here any second. 5 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:26,318 I don't care if I lose my job on the railroad project. 6 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:30,405 I can't get last night out of my mind, or the taste of you out of my mouth. 7 00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:34,576 You think I don't want this too? I ache for your manhood. 8 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,578 Then lose the dress. 9 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,331 I wanna see the curve of your breast in the moonlight... 10 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:42,376 [inhales sharply] ...and feel the heat of your body against mine. 11 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,629 Don't you fucking fall in love with me! 12 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,048 [whispers] Too late. 13 00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,427 [normal voice] And that's the scene. 14 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,180 - Oh, my God, that was so good! - Mmm. Thank you. 15 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,433 [inhales deeply] I mean, the writing? Wow. 16 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:01,937 But more importantly, you are incredible. 17 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:06,066 I really believed you were a former gigolo who got into city planning. 18 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,734 The part is just so complex, right? 19 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,237 I... Every time I read the script, I have more questions. 20 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,656 - Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. - That's gotta be a good sign, right? 21 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,117 I cannot wait to see you in this play. 22 00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:16,994 I mean, I have invited everyone in my life. 23 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:19,955 My gym friends, my yoga frenemies, my lesbian dentist, 24 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:22,082 my stalkers and the people I'm stalking. 25 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,667 Oh, that is so great. 26 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,711 And what about your family? Are your parents coming? 27 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,213 Um, no. They're way out in Indiana. 28 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,382 It's probably... [inhales sharply] ...way too big of a hassle. 29 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,260 But that does remind me, I should probably invite my sugar daddy. 30 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,513 [inhales deeply] I wonder if the theater is wheelchair-accessible. 31 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:40,017 Ooh, can we do the next scene? It is so good. 32 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:44,313 Yes. You're topless, I'm bottomless, and we're in an abandoned train yard. 33 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:47,107 - Feel free to slap me for real. [chuckles] - Oh, I will. 34 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:53,488 Carlos! I have news. 35 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,823 I'm pregnant. 36 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,702 - And it's your twin brother's baby! - No! 37 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,454 [hip-hop song playing] 38 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:44,748 [song ends] 39 00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,334 Okay, Howard, why don't you update us 40 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,461 on the broadband cost at the Space for Everyone property? 41 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,129 Absolutely. 42 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:52,881 [stammers] Happy to. 43 00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:54,967 [sighs] 44 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,181 What is this? 45 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,516 Oh, well, full disclosure, 46 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,768 - it's not quite finished. - [scoffs] It's not done at all. 47 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,645 You didn't even finish the word "presentation." 48 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:10,274 Oh. [stammers] Well, I was about to type the N, and then the meeting was starting, 49 00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:11,775 and you told us to never be late. 50 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,111 So in many ways, this is your fault. 51 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,238 Howard, you need to take this seriously. 52 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,824 Space for Everyone is a huge project. 53 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:22,452 We all need to be at the top of our games. This needs to get done. 54 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,453 Yes, ma'am. 55 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:28,000 [cell phones buzzing, chiming] 56 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:34,631 [giggles] 57 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,092 [Howard inhales sharply] 58 00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:40,220 Sofia... [stammers] ...what notification did you just get? 59 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,682 It's a news alert. It's about a typhoon that's about to hit Burma. 60 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,643 You fist-pumped a typhoon about to hit Burma? 61 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,688 Yes, in solidarity with the Burmese people. 62 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,398 Hmm. 63 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,242 Hey, hey. We have got to talk. Something very intriguing is happening. 64 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,119 I think Sofia is a Swiftie. 65 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:07,247 - [gasps] Oh, my God. - Oh, I actually know what that is. 66 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,999 My daughter is a huge Taylor Swift fan. 67 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:13,921 I gotta say, I like all those songs about not letting the haters get you down. 68 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,506 [groans] It's actually more frustrating 69 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,466 when you know a little bit about something instead of your typical nothing. 70 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:21,512 Okay. So why do you think she's a Swiftie? 71 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:24,014 Well, that notification Ainsley and I got earlier 72 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,934 was a Taylor Swift verified-fan presale code. 73 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,978 And Sofia's phone dinged at the exact same time. 74 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:34,566 Then suddenly she sends us a email saying we have July 12th off out of nowhere. 75 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:38,570 Which is the exact date Taylor Swift is playing at SoFi Stadium. 76 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,948 Sofia's going to that concert. 77 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:45,494 Okay, that's pretty good evidence, but what's the big deal? 78 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:48,413 - So she likes Taylor Swift? - Exactly. Why would she lie about it? 79 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,999 I mean, what type of game is she playing here? 80 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,627 I mean, Sofia's a very private person. 81 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,587 Shouldn't you just be working on your presentation? 82 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,798 Oh, she would love that... 83 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:01,385 wouldn't she? 84 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,305 [chuckles] 85 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,185 How about we kill him with this dagger I'm holding 86 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:13,021 and then fuck for the rest of our lives? 87 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,777 Knock, knock. Where is my genius future-EGOT? 88 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,697 Oh, my God. [chuckles] Thank you so much. These are beautiful. 89 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,824 They're bigger than my entire apartment. 90 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,659 There's somebody else here too. 91 00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:28,745 - What? - Your parents! 92 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:29,997 Surprise! 93 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:33,876 Oh, my God. [chuckles] Mom. Dad. 94 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:38,005 I called them right after we talked and offered to send the jet for them, 95 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,923 and then they refused and said they'd drive here. 96 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,425 All the way from Indiana? 97 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:47,097 No, yeah. We took the I-70 to the I-44, then the I-40 to the I-15 to the I-10. 98 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,682 From there it's basically a straight shot. 99 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,725 Hmm. 100 00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:51,810 They sure don't give you much room back here. 101 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,730 Yeah, well, Mom, it's just a small play. 102 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:56,940 Well, your parents are staying for a couple days. 103 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:01,111 I offered my house, but they said they wanted to stay in a hotel in... 104 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,070 Panorama City. 105 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:07,868 From here you just take I-101 to the I-170 and then exit at Roscoe Boulevard West. 106 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,578 Pretty much a straight shot after that. 107 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:15,042 [inhales deeply] Ah. 108 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,212 We're gonna go to our seats, honey. 109 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,880 Yeah. See you after. 110 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,511 [inhales sharply] I know it was a crazy swing, 111 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:28,639 but I'm just so proud of you. You're so good. 112 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,308 Molly, my parents are super conservative. 113 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,976 This play is not their thing. 114 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,437 There are only, like, three scenes that aren't sex scenes. 115 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,147 Well, who cares if it's their thing? 116 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,316 It's your thing, and that's all that should matter. 117 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:45,030 - Yeah, okay, I... I need to run lines. - Of course. Oh, my gosh. 118 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,658 [inhales sharply] Don't let me get in the way of your process. [kisses] 119 00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:50,077 - [kisses] - Be brilliant. [chuckles] 120 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,455 Oh, are you in the play too? Oh, you're doing costumes. All right. 121 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,503 [actor 1] What did you say to me, you limp-dicked cocksucker? 122 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,883 Oh, you better watch your step, asshole, or one day someone will take you out 123 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,885 to Vengeance Falls. 124 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,720 [whispers] That's the name of the play. 125 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,267 [actor 1 gasps] What are you doing here, Carlos? 126 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,686 - I'm here to take you. - [gasps] 127 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:16,979 All of you, Joanna. 128 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,441 Take you into town to get an ice-cream cone. 129 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,403 [Joanna stammers] You've gotta get out of here. 130 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:27,739 My husband, the mayor, will be here any second. 131 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:31,535 I don't care if I get fired from the railroad project. 132 00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,453 I can't get you out of my mind. 133 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:37,291 You and me, watching Everybody Loves Raymond on your couch. 134 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,168 And then I went home, alone. 135 00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,003 [whispering] What are you doing? Those aren't the lines. 136 00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,296 [Nicholas] Let me look at you. 137 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:48,510 Let me see the... the curve of your heaving smile in the moonlight, 138 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:52,848 and-and feel the heat of that smile from-from over here. 139 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,476 Don't you fucking fall in love with me! 140 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,354 You sh-shouldn't swear so much. 141 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,192 [exhales shakily] Oh, God. 142 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:07,029 [scattered applause] 143 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,415 More plates? 144 00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:22,419 David Chang is serving elevated Indiana cuisine 145 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:27,674 because you are elevated "Indianianianianans." 146 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:31,595 So what we have here is a deconstructed tuna casserole. 147 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:32,971 Deconstructed? 148 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,892 So, uh, you took it apart and now I have to put it back together? 149 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:39,436 And another F-minus, David Chang. Congrats. 150 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,813 Go get us some Applebee's curbside or something. 151 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,108 That play, Nicholas. 152 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,154 I mean, oh, my God, what a tour de force. 153 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:53,158 And Carlos Wu is such a layered character. 154 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,868 I think you just nailed it. 155 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,079 Oh, was that the character's name? 156 00:08:57,079 --> 00:09:00,374 [inhales sharply] We got a great parking spot right out front, 157 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,460 uh, probably 20, 25 feet from the door. 158 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:08,215 Speaking of parking, a lot of people have been going to the Krogers lately. 159 00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:11,760 - [smacks lips] Oh, really? - They're doing free samples again. 160 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,887 [chuckles] We got some sausage there the other day. 161 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,599 You know who I saw there? Susan Reed. 162 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,894 You went to middle school with her niece Kayla. 163 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,397 What was Kayla's last name? 164 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,440 Honey, what was Kayla's last name? 165 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,068 - Reed. [sighs] - Oh, that's right. Same as her aunt. 166 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,444 That makes sense. 167 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,489 Uh, Nicholas, 168 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:36,451 have you told your parents about your callback for your commercial? 169 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:39,246 Yeah, no, I... I didn't mention it to them. 170 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,206 - [Molly] What? - It's not a big deal, you know? 171 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,876 [inhales sharply] Even though it was national or whatever. 172 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:47,004 Did I tell you we got a new tractor? 173 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:50,632 [chuckles] Oh, she's a beaut. Purrs like a kitten. 174 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:53,010 You know who can till the Hades out of some soil? 175 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:55,179 - Nicholas. - Yeah, of course I was good at tilling. 176 00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:56,555 I'm good at everything. 177 00:09:56,555 --> 00:10:00,309 Little Nicky. He was put on God's green earth to farm. 178 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,937 Anytime you wanna try out the new tractor, I could always use another set of hands. 179 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,022 No, it's not gonna happen. 180 00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:09,401 Okay, every time we talk, we have the same conversation. I'm done tilling. 181 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,403 I'm never coming back. Okay? Ever. 182 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:14,239 [sighs] 183 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,665 Kayla's back at the bank now. 184 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:25,834 Okay, you know what? I think my parents are tired. 185 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,754 It's been a long day. I should probably get them back to the hotel. 186 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,255 Yeah. [clears throat] 187 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,801 - Thank you so much. - Of course. Anytime. 188 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:38,138 Oh, and by the way, I couldn't figure out how to flush your toilet. 189 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,060 Okay. 190 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,905 [stammers] Do you need something, Howard? 191 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:57,282 No, I just wanted to apologize about the other day. 192 00:10:57,282 --> 00:11:01,370 See, I feel terrible about it, and I'm really hoping we can both just 193 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:02,913 shake it off. 194 00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:05,165 Okay, sure. 195 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,625 Good. 196 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:11,129 'Cause I don't want there to be any bad blood between us, baby. 197 00:11:12,214 --> 00:11:13,715 Have you started your presentation yet? 198 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:16,802 I know you're a Taylor Swift fan, 199 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,221 I know you're going to that concert July 12th, 200 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:22,015 and now all I need to know is why you're hiding it. 201 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,059 What? Is this why you've been acting so weird? 202 00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,061 Oh, I'm the one who's been acting weird? 203 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:29,606 I don't know what you're talking about. I don't listen to Taylor Swift. 204 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,734 I listen to podcasts about systemic racism and urban decay. 205 00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:36,071 No, see, it's okay. I'm a Swiftie too. We can put on Red 206 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,490 and see how many songs we can make it through without crying. 207 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,033 My record is two and a quarter. 208 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,494 Howard, enough of this. You need to get back to work. 209 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,204 And you need to calm down. 210 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,290 I know you didn't just tell a woman to calm down. 211 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,333 No, you... "You Need To Calm Down" is a Swift song. 212 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,794 I'm still doing the song title thing. I th... I thought you knew that. 213 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:54,047 Uh, I'm still my sweet self. [stammers] Your hair looks lovely. 214 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,924 - Thank you. Get back to work. - Yes, ma'am. 215 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,559 [Molly] Mmm. 216 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,352 [Nicholas sighs] 217 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:13,692 Hey. I'm sorry about last night. I know things got a little awkward. 218 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:15,611 Hmm. Uh, we don't have to talk about it. 219 00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:17,738 Well, yes, but we could. 220 00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:20,782 I mean, I'm here for you if you'd like to unpack it with me. 221 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:23,368 [clicks tongue] Okay, um, 222 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,787 let's unpack the fact that you invited my parents out here 223 00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:29,291 to see an extremely sexual play without asking me. 224 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,460 I thought it would be a nice surprise. 225 00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:35,255 You've always told me that you have a good relationship with your parents. 226 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,173 We do. 227 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:39,176 My parents and I are fine, as long as we stick to safe topics like Krogers, 228 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,802 Kayla, who has cancer. 229 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:43,555 They do not want me to be an actor, okay? 230 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,307 I've tried to explain myself to them many times, 231 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,477 and it's not worth it, so I just stopped. 232 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:52,356 Well, I'm sorry, Nicholas, but I don't think that's very healthy. 233 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:53,774 Healthy. What is healthy? 234 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,567 Okay, I... I train like an Avenger, 235 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:59,154 but I'm functionally addicted to ketamine, so the word "healthy" is meaningless. 236 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,908 Look, one thing I've learned on my SJ, spiritual journey, 237 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:09,456 is that you have to open yourself up to difficult emotions. With your parents. 238 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,999 It's the only way you'll grow. 239 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:16,797 It's not easy, but if you get up every day and put the work into it like I do, 240 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,716 - you'll see some benefits. - [snorts] Okay. 241 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,010 What was that snort? 242 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,011 Ugh. 243 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,849 Are you literally gonna stand there and lecture me about putting in the work 244 00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:30,727 when any of the work you've ever done is actually being done by 25 other people, 245 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:34,064 - including me? - What? That is not true. 246 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,524 When was the last time you were alone? 247 00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:37,985 When I went to the bathroom, an hour ago. 248 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,654 Oh, wait, that's not true. Marisol was there to dry my hands. 249 00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:43,407 Exactly. Why can't you just admit that if we left you alone, 250 00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:45,075 you would fall apart within minutes? 251 00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:47,077 [scoffs] That is ridiculous. 252 00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:48,996 I don't need any help. 253 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:52,082 In fact, why don't you take the rest of the day off? 254 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,751 I'll ask the entire house staff to take the day off too. 255 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,003 And the kitchen staff 256 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,796 and the aquarium staff. 257 00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:01,425 - Oh... Okay, you're really gonna do that? - I'm really gonna do that. 258 00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:06,471 - Okay. - Okay. 259 00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,514 Okay. 260 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,057 - Great. - Nice. 261 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,726 - Wonderful. - Hang ten. 262 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,019 Very cool. 263 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,354 - [as Borat] Very nice! - [as Austin Powers] Yeah, baby! 264 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,399 [normal voice] Okay, I'm gonna go. 265 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,530 Okay, let's get started. 266 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,574 Howard, the broadband presentation please. 267 00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:26,825 Absolutely. 268 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,128 - Oh, no. - You've gotta be fucking kidding me. 269 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:42,883 What you are seeing before you are the five personal days Sofia Salinas 270 00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:46,470 has taken off in the eight years she's worked here. 271 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,347 As you can see, 272 00:14:48,347 --> 00:14:54,520 every one of her absences lines up exactly with a Tay-specific event. 273 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,647 August 29, 2015, 274 00:14:56,647 --> 00:15:00,108 the same day Taylor plays Petco Park in San Diego. 275 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:05,781 We see Sofia is both absent on August 18th and 19th of 2017, 276 00:15:05,781 --> 00:15:08,909 a time known in our community as the "Great Panic," 277 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,496 when Taylor wiped her entire social media presence clean 278 00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:14,081 to prepare for a new beginning. 279 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:16,750 Enough. Why are you doing this? 280 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,710 To help you be true to yourself. 281 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:22,798 I know you gave us July 12th off because you are going to that concert. 282 00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:24,716 Thank you. I have no further questions. 283 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:27,386 Do you wanna know what I'm doing on July 12th? [sighs] 284 00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:28,387 Hmm. 285 00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:31,098 My great-aunt Lucia is having heart surgery. 286 00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:33,141 She is wonderful, mi tรญa. 287 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,769 She helped raise me, so I'm going to New Jersey to be with her. 288 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:39,398 I didn't want to talk about it because it is a little upsetting. [inhales sharply] 289 00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:40,649 But that is the truth. 290 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,067 Sorry to hear that, Sofia. 291 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,861 - Yeah, me too. - [Sofia sighs] 292 00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:46,905 [speaking Spanish] 293 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,283 [in English] Oh. Okay. 294 00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:50,784 Gracias, Ainsley. 295 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,787 Howard, is there any chance you did the real presentation? 296 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:58,375 Honestly, I saw that all going very differently, so no. 297 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,386 Everyone, I have an announcement to make. 298 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,430 I'm giving you all the night off. 299 00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:15,017 - Is everything okay? - Yes, everything is fine. 300 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:17,477 I just feel like flying solo tonight. 301 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:22,024 So, everyone, go home, live your lives. 302 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:27,112 Friends, family, go to a burger restaurant. 303 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,238 Enjoy. 304 00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:30,324 Ms. Molly, is it the Russians? 305 00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:32,534 Are they making you be alone so they can kidnap you? 306 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,995 No. No, Marisol. It is not the Russians. 307 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,163 If it were the Russians, 308 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,583 I would say our secret security word, which I can't remember. 309 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:41,210 Pineapple. 310 00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,630 - No, but it is something that you eat. - It's "saxophone." 311 00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:47,257 Great. Well, then, thank you. 312 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,301 And now, everybody, scram. 313 00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:52,554 - [sighs] - Beat it. Go. Go on. Go home. 314 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:56,391 [chuckles] You rascals. Aw, you guys. 315 00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:03,565 [clicks tongue, inhales deeply] Okay, let's see here. 316 00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:07,402 [gasps] 317 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,155 Fuck, yeah. 318 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,117 Night mode activated. 319 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,501 Fuck, yeah. 320 00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:31,677 Fuck, yeah. 321 00:17:33,512 --> 00:17:35,347 [vacuum whirring] 322 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,978 [singsongy] Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah. 323 00:17:40,978 --> 00:17:42,271 Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah. 324 00:17:42,271 --> 00:17:43,480 [microwave beeps] 325 00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:54,533 Mmm. 326 00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:56,493 Fuck, yeah. 327 00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,581 [doorbell rings] 328 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:09,339 - Howard, what are you doing here? - [stammers] I just came to apologize. 329 00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:16,430 Uh, I felt so bad about making you bring up that stuff about your aunt, 330 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:19,850 so I stayed at work late to finish the presentation. 331 00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:23,812 Oh, all right. Well, I appreciate you finally finishing it. 332 00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:26,148 And I wanted to get you an Edible Arrangement, 333 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:30,360 but they couldn't finish it in time. So, I tried to make you one myself. 334 00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:33,989 Thank you. 335 00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,325 I was wrong for calling you a Swiftie. 336 00:18:36,325 --> 00:18:39,077 I just got excited about us maybe having something in common. 337 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,623 I've worked with you for a while now, and I still feel like I barely know you. 338 00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:43,665 [sighs] 339 00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:47,044 And I just thought it would be cool for us to like the same thing, 'cause... 340 00:18:47,044 --> 00:18:50,172 [stammers] ...girl, you know I look up to you. 341 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:54,676 But I took it way too far. I'm sorry. 342 00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:58,347 Apology accepted. 343 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,767 I'll go put this in the fridge and throw it away tomorrow. 344 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,477 That's a good idea. 345 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,856 There's actually some bubble gum in the bottom if you want a prize. 346 00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:11,443 Hmm. 347 00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:36,552 We did it, Mary-Kate and Ashley. 348 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,014 [fire alarm chirps] 349 00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:45,811 What the hell? 350 00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:47,855 [chirps] 351 00:19:48,397 --> 00:19:49,231 Huh. 352 00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,151 [chirps] 353 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,029 Be right back. Stay there. 354 00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:04,288 [chirps] 355 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,128 [chirps] 356 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,112 [mutters, strains, grunts] 357 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,655 Fuck, no. 358 00:20:40,032 --> 00:20:42,117 - [exhales sharply, shouts] - [chirps] 359 00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:51,210 {\an8}- Care to explain this? - Explain what? 360 00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:53,670 Why you have the collectible green vinyl pressing 361 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,632 of Taylor Swift's Evermore hidden in a Marvin Gaye jacket? 362 00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:58,842 That is not mine. I'm holding it for a friend. 363 00:20:58,842 --> 00:20:59,927 Her name is Dakota. 364 00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,388 - She is white. - Oh, it's white Dakota's Evermore? 365 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:07,267 Well, then you won't mind if I start going through these Kendrick Lamar records... 366 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,311 - Oh, okay. All right. - ...and see what's really going on. 367 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:12,648 You know what? You're right. [stammers] I'm a Swiftie. 368 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,527 I knew it. I knew we could smell our own. 369 00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:18,320 But what about your great-aunt Lucia? 370 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,864 Oh, Howard. Don't be so naive. No one has a great-aunt. 371 00:21:20,864 --> 00:21:23,492 They only exist when you're trying to get out of work or a term paper. 372 00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:24,660 But why would you lie? 373 00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:28,038 I mean, there is nothing to be ashamed of loving the most visionary lyricist 374 00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:30,541 - of our generation. - Oh, that is easy for you to say. 375 00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:31,834 But people would judge me. 376 00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:35,712 I am a 32-year-old Afro-Latina trying to be taken seriously. 377 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:38,006 People are always looking to question my authority. 378 00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:40,926 I wish it wasn't true, but you and I both know that is the truth. 379 00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:43,053 I never really thought of it like that. 380 00:21:43,053 --> 00:21:44,596 I mean, do you think I like hiding these? 381 00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:48,183 Do you think I like creating a fake end-of-the-year playlist 382 00:21:48,684 --> 00:21:49,935 and slapping jazz on it? 383 00:21:49,935 --> 00:21:52,479 You don't have to do that anymore, because now I know. 384 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,439 And you know I'll never tell anybody. 385 00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:56,233 I promise. I Swiftie swear. 386 00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,151 Is that a real thing? 387 00:21:58,944 --> 00:21:59,945 It is now. 388 00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,239 Hmm. 389 00:22:02,239 --> 00:22:06,869 [chuckles] You know, since I'm here, maybe you wanna put on Midnights, 390 00:22:06,869 --> 00:22:08,829 - and we can discuss the "Karma" theory. - Oh, my God. 391 00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:10,497 Please don't get me started on that goddamn clock. 392 00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:12,541 - [chuckles] - Uh, okay, Midnights. 393 00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:14,209 Ah, that will be in the Coltrane section. 394 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:16,336 Oh, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. [chuckles] 395 00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,672 - Mm-hmm. Yes, I did. - Girl, you are wild. 396 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:20,674 ["Don't Sweat the Technique" playing] 397 00:22:25,179 --> 00:22:27,556 [grunting] 398 00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,563 - [chirps] - [groans] 399 00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:41,653 - [chirps] - [groans] 400 00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:48,577 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ye... 401 00:22:49,745 --> 00:22:51,872 You suck! 402 00:22:51,872 --> 00:22:54,082 [groans] 403 00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:00,255 [music stops] 404 00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:01,340 [chirps] 405 00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:10,933 [swallows, exhales deeply] 406 00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:20,234 [music continues] 407 00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:23,028 [laughs] 408 00:23:23,987 --> 00:23:26,365 - [chirps] - [groans] 409 00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:27,991 Stop beeping. 410 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:30,077 Why? 411 00:23:31,245 --> 00:23:34,122 [cries] Please stop beeping. 412 00:23:35,290 --> 00:23:37,417 - [chirps] - [groans] 413 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:50,597 - [chirps] - [groans] 414 00:23:58,897 --> 00:24:03,485 - [chirps] - [shouting] What the fuck? 415 00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:20,752 [music stops] 416 00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:26,216 [chuckles] I beat you! 417 00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:29,428 I beat you, smoke detector! 418 00:24:29,428 --> 00:24:32,264 [door creaks] 419 00:24:32,264 --> 00:24:34,266 No. No, no, no, no, no, no. 420 00:24:35,851 --> 00:24:36,852 [breathing heavily] 421 00:24:39,354 --> 00:24:41,148 "Enter code to access door." 422 00:24:41,148 --> 00:24:44,610 I don't know the code. I don't know the code! 423 00:24:44,610 --> 00:24:47,738 I don't know the code. [whimpers] 424 00:24:47,738 --> 00:24:48,822 [chirps] 425 00:24:48,822 --> 00:24:50,866 [music continues] 426 00:24:53,076 --> 00:24:57,164 - [chirps] - You've gotta be fucking kidding me. 427 00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:10,469 [Nicholas] Molly... [stammers] ... are you okay? 428 00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:14,264 Nicholas, is that you? 429 00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:16,683 [Nicholas sighs] Yeah, I'm right outside. I... I get an alert 430 00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:21,104 whenever the panic room locks. I... I thought you might need me. 431 00:25:23,065 --> 00:25:28,195 I'm so embarrassed. I can't do anything by myself. 432 00:25:28,195 --> 00:25:29,947 Hey, that is not true. 433 00:25:29,947 --> 00:25:32,616 You completely destroyed the kitchen by yourself. 434 00:25:32,616 --> 00:25:36,370 [sighs] I'm such a mess. 435 00:25:36,370 --> 00:25:38,997 Well, at least you're trying. 436 00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:41,291 Can you imagine if you were a sane, well-adjusted person? 437 00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:42,459 You'd be so boring. 438 00:25:43,043 --> 00:25:45,671 "Uh, my name's Julia Miller 439 00:25:45,671 --> 00:25:48,507 and I'm gonna eat a salad with dressing on the side 440 00:25:48,507 --> 00:25:50,259 and then go to the gym." 441 00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,178 "And I'm gonna go home 442 00:25:53,178 --> 00:25:56,181 and see my tall husband and my twins, Audrey and Michael." 443 00:25:56,181 --> 00:26:00,060 - Ugh, fuck that. Fuck Julia Miller! - Fuck Julia Miller. 444 00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:03,355 I would quit on the spot. You are so much more fun. 445 00:26:03,355 --> 00:26:06,149 - [keypad beeping] - [door opens] 446 00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:09,319 [gasps, whimpers] Oh. [inhales sharply] 447 00:26:10,863 --> 00:26:12,406 I never wanna fight again. 448 00:26:12,406 --> 00:26:14,491 Hey. We never will. 449 00:26:17,536 --> 00:26:21,248 I'm sorry I tried to give you advice about your parents. 450 00:26:21,248 --> 00:26:23,417 God. What the hell do I know? 451 00:26:23,417 --> 00:26:26,837 It's not like you were wrong. I mean, you saw us. 452 00:26:27,671 --> 00:26:30,048 We are not good about talking about our feelings. 453 00:26:30,048 --> 00:26:33,010 They're very Midwestern, and I'm Midwestern and Asian, 454 00:26:33,010 --> 00:26:35,679 which basically means it's like a repression Olympics. 455 00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:36,763 [chuckles] 456 00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:39,099 I'm so sorry. 457 00:26:40,309 --> 00:26:42,644 It's just, I like to pretend that I don't care 458 00:26:42,644 --> 00:26:44,938 what they think about me, but... [inhales shakily] 459 00:26:44,938 --> 00:26:46,857 - ...sometimes I... I d... - [Molly clicks tongue] 460 00:26:49,151 --> 00:26:50,819 [Molly] I'm done giving advice. 461 00:26:50,819 --> 00:26:56,116 [sniffles] But just know, I'm here for you no matter what. 462 00:26:58,118 --> 00:26:58,952 Thank you. 463 00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:01,997 I'd love to keep hugging, 464 00:27:01,997 --> 00:27:04,458 but I really have to go to the bathroom. 465 00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:07,211 There's so much wine in the panic room and nowhere to pee. 466 00:27:07,211 --> 00:27:08,420 Oh. 467 00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:10,672 - Yeah. - Yeah. 468 00:27:12,758 --> 00:27:13,926 Do you remember where it is? 469 00:27:13,926 --> 00:27:15,886 Is it this way? 470 00:27:15,886 --> 00:27:16,970 No. 471 00:27:29,107 --> 00:27:30,400 [breathes sharply] 472 00:27:36,949 --> 00:27:38,951 Hey, Dad. Uh, listen. 473 00:27:38,951 --> 00:27:41,036 I know you and Mom are leaving tomorrow, 474 00:27:41,036 --> 00:27:45,666 but I feel like we didn't get enough time to talk while you were here. 475 00:27:45,666 --> 00:27:48,418 So I was sort of hoping I could take you guys out to dinner. 476 00:27:49,878 --> 00:27:50,879 Sure. 477 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:52,714 Great. 478 00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:56,051 Uh, I actually really wanted to tell you about this commercial that I booked. 479 00:27:56,051 --> 00:27:58,929 It's for Lipitor. I play a supportive waiter. 480 00:28:00,889 --> 00:28:06,520 Oh. I... I've heard of Lipitor. Your uncle Terry is on Lipitor. 481 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,189 Margs. Uh, is Terry on Lipitor? 482 00:28:09,189 --> 00:28:10,732 Oh, he's on everything. 483 00:28:11,525 --> 00:28:13,527 Hey, Nicholas wants to take us to dinner. 484 00:28:14,319 --> 00:28:15,737 - Works for me. - [chuckles] 485 00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:20,868 [stammers] You know, I actually passed a pretty great-looking diner 486 00:28:20,868 --> 00:28:22,202 on the way over here. 487 00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:25,038 [stammers] You just go up Victory, a right on Moorpark, 488 00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:27,040 and then basically a straight shot. 489 00:28:31,712 --> 00:28:34,464 ["Harder Than You Think" playing] 39087

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