Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Fuck you doing? Scared the piss out of me.

Some things you don't get into over the phone.

Got it. Lorraine's at Mass.

-Watch out for Spencer. -Who?

Her fucking toy terrier. He's a shit machine.

I talked to some of the guys about your misgivings.

Yeah?

[BARKING]

[QUIET MUSIC PLAYING]

Listen, I've made a decision.

Take a walk in there.

The fuck you waiting for? Get lost.

Historically, Carmine always said the Sopranos

are nothing more than a glorified crew.

Plain and simple, we decapitate,

and we do business with whatever's left.

-What? -Nothing.

I agree in spirit, but I gotta counsel.

This thing should have been done during John's era.

They got redundant upper management

bleeds off half the kick.

We take them out, absorb the whole fucking thing.

-Take out an entire fucking family? -Let me tell you a couple of three things:

Forget Coco. Forget Fat Dom

who goes over to Jersey and never comes back.

Forget my brother, Billy.

Phil, Phil, that's not what I'm saying at all.

Anthony Soprano has no respect for this thing.

He's never been in the can, not really.

He's a guy who stepped over his own uncle to grab the big seat.

His father's brother.

-Please, huh? -I'm embarrassed.

I let him come to the hospital last Christmas.

And I took his fat fucking hand in friendship.

Philly, you had a heart attack.

Listen to me. They make anybody and everybody over there.

And the way that they do it is all fucked up.

Guys don't get their finger pricked. There's no sword and gun on the table.

-Phil. -No, Alb.

Either it has meaning or no meaning.

And the Vito thing… The man harbors a faggot.

-It's true. -Five fucking families.

And we got this other pygmy thing over in Jersey.

There's no scraps in my scrapbook.

Make it happen.

[TV PLAYING]

I like the way she played basketball yesterday.

Almost got my first hard-on in, like, a month.

Jesus, what's the meaning of quiet time around here?

-Rhiannon? -A.J.?

Jesus.

What are you doing here?

-You first. -I have some food issues, depression.

-You keep up with Hernan? -He's a fucking slimeball.

I caught him finger-banging my cousin on the ski lift.

-Well, somebody said you were modeling. -Yeah, I guess.

I signed with Elite.

So you would say he's responding to the therapy.

Well, we don't do traditional therapy, per se.

Kids in crisis mostly need an environment of calm

no stresses.

Do you want this? Or I can pop it in the mail.

Just one more week of this.

Twenty-two hundred a fucking day.

[BELL DINGS]

[TV PLAYING]

A little gabagoo, provolone and vinegar peppers.

You got it.

[SIGHS]

You believe this fucking weather?

End times, huh? Ready for the rapture.

How's the anti-terror going?

Great if you don't like sleeping, eating or seeing your kids.

Listen, those Arabs from Da Bing…

Let me ask you the truth. They're in Jordan, getting their balls zapped?

You're not gonna tell me?

I'm not really sure. For all we know

they may be harmless pistachio salesmen.

Don't get so bent out of shape. You're a big boy, Tony.

You know, World War II, your outfit protected

the Brooklyn Navy Yard.

You think Roosevelt told Vito Genovese

-where Hitler was holed up? -Go fuck yourself.

Tony, Tony, hold up.

Tony.

What?

Look, I appreciate what you did giving us those names.

In fact, I've been sitting here thinking…

Remember that thing that was supposed to happen

about a year ago, your problem with Brooklyn?

It's on again possibly.

You, maybe people close to you.

If it was solid, you would've been warned officially,

but my colleague in Brooklyn, the one with the collaborator

snitch is implying the wheels have been set in motion.

Implying.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY]

Where the fuck you been?

Krista fell off her shoes last night.

We had to call an ambulance.

I had some shit I was taking care of.

You're gonna want a snort.

Come on, I just finished my bialy.

Take it.

Burt Gervasi, he's gone.

What happened?

I didn't wanna overload you with A.J. in the hospital.

I don't wanna hear that. Go.

Burt let me know the other night

he's been playing both sides of the fence with New York.

-Burt? -Measures were taken.

Burt wasn't speaking for just himself.

Guys are getting squeezed hard to sway them towards new management.

They thought you'd be a part of it.

And he got an answer.

My hope is maybe now Phil gets the message.

-You know, we can talk this shit through. -Talk?

Talking about Phil.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

We gotta hit first.

This all dovetails with other information I got that this cocksucker

already has a target on my back.

It's a big move.

So, Buddha…

When he stuck you with the tab for Vito Jr

I said let it go.

Obviously, truth is, a fuck like Phil, appeasement don't work.

Oh, yeah.

Three pops within a tight time frame

twenty-four hours, so there's no chance for them to hit back.

Top three guys.

-Paulie Gualtieri? -No, management.

Tony Soprano, obviously

plus Silvio Dante and we think Bobby Baccalieri.

That mortadella's number three? He used to be Junior Soprano's driver.

And you used to sell laser printers out the back of your Crown Vic.

-You really slept. -Yeah.

I wasn't asleep.

You want some oatmeal? I'll make some. You want instant or the real thing?

I can't find my belt.

It must be up there somewhere.

What? You hid it?

I'll make the real thing.

-You'll let me know when it's ready? -Sure.

You know, my game has got…

Cobra six. I have a casualty. He's urgent.

In response

the insurgents unleash a devastating wave

of IEDs,

and suicide bombers. [ EXPLOSIONS, GUNFIRE ON TV]

Who got hit? You got contact with them?

On a small but deadly road…

Who's that gunner right there?

Anthony.

Regarding our friend with the gray hair

I thought about it. I want you to call Italy, get some cousins of ours over.

Who you want to run the thing?

-Got it. -Gotta get some tires for Carmela's car.

The wine's amazing.

Jennifer's our resident Italian wine expert.

-Is Megan still in Prague, Stace? -Jesus.

Her love life. The girl she was involved with, Cecily

she's now having a torrid pen-and-paper relationship

-with an armed robber in Attica. -What is this fascination with criminals?

Rescue fantasy. They think they can fix them.

Well, I'm worried for Cecily.

So I Googled any new stuff on sociopathic personalities.

Apparently, the talking cure

actually helps them become better criminals.

It was fascinating.

The study was by Yochelson and Samenow.

Studies turn around every few years.

This other, I think it was Robert Hare

suggested that sociopaths, actually quite glibly

engage on key issues, like mother, family.

I seem to remember that from residency.

Me too, and I've read Hare,

but who's a true sociopath?

I had a guy at the state asylum

slow poisoner. They even mimic empathy.

They blubber and cry.

Did you put her up to this? She just happened to mention this study?

Who? Me?

Everything okay down there?

-I don't know. -It's a study. Food for thought.

She's blowing us off.

You just can't resist rubbing my face in it.

I feel like we should change the subject.

I only suggested you reevaluate your work

with Leadbelly or be prepared to deal with moral,

and possibly legal consequences.

-Leadbelly? -Who's that? Come on.

The answer is a female opera singer,

and gangster.

Elliot!

Soprano.

Tony Soprano? He's your patient?

-That's pretty cool. -Jesus Christ, Elliot.

Chill out. We're among friends. We're all professionals.

So, what's your verdict on the wine, Jen?

All Italians have big noses.

If I had made that joke about other groups

represented at this table

I would be called a bigot.

I meant Italian reds.

Still, it must be fascinating work.

It is.

Have a seat.

-What's up? -Phil Leotardo.

Calls were made to zips. They're coming over from Naples.

You contact the guy to contact the guys.

Phil's at his goomar's every Friday night.

-T know about this? -What?

-What kind of question is that? -Watch your fucking mouth.

What are you concerned about?

I lived through the '70s by the skin of my nuts

when the Colombos were going at it.

There ain't a bigger cocksucker than Phil Leotardo.

I just wanna make sure somebody knows

there could be a line at Cozzarelli's a mile long.

Duly noted. So there's no problem, then.

[CONVERSING QUIETLY]

He'll be quiet.

-Don't worry about them. -Paulie, those guys are outside.

Fuck you talking so loud for?

Don't discuss this until we're in the pisciatoio.

It's all yours.

I just picked them up at the airport.

Anthony.

So, what do you clear a year around here?

I don't mean to pry, you know, just round numbers.

I'm asking because Meadow…

Well, I told you she's taking pre-med classes.

Well, she's not gonna be a doctor.

She told us.

It's kind of sad, isn't it?

-Depends. -You know, it's just a nice thing to be

helping sick babies.

Her change of heart bothers you?

Her mother too, much more than me.

I mean, all that worrying

which private school, Columbia University

this and that. And in the end

she'll get married, squeeze out some kids

after a couple years in the work force?

-I'm still working. -Yeah, but you're divorced.

Criminal law, that's what she's taking up.

And I told Carmela, "It's not the end of the world."

[SIGHS]

She's interested in civil rights.

Muslims and blacks,

and that and a dime.

Hopefully, she'll wind up at a big firm

white-collar crime.

It's just, you know…

Dr. Soprano.

Sounds nice.

Your parents must have been very proud.

I think so.

I mean, look at all the people like me you've helped.

With all the human suffering in this world

you've done something important.

Like those people

who are trying to help my son.

God bless them.

Two thousand a day in that place, but if it helps…

As you know, my plumbers' union insurance

only covers 10 percent of mental.

He's really hurting… …A.J.

And you?

Although, maybe, you know…

You know what? Forget his hurts. Maybe I should have just…

Put your shoe up his ass?

Yeah. Yeah, frankly.

-Well, we talked about this. -And talked about it.

HUH?

-Anyway, Carmela… -Mollycoddled him.

-My old man… -Are you a shining example,

for the huge collection of wingtips and loafers

that must be lodged up your lower bowel?

What's the matter with you?

Is it because I said that about being divorced?

You were saying.

He's my only son.

He's young. Most of the time they pull out of this.

But I've been depressed for years. What if he don't pull out?

So the boy who never cared about anything

now cares about too much.

Yeah, I guess.

And the daughter, like all females

-ultimately somehow disappoints. -I didn't say that.

What's with the tone?

You sound like you're glad I'm taking it on the chin.

Maybe you're projecting hostile feelings.

Bullshit. If we had instant replay

you'd see it in two seconds.

Well, we don't have instant replay.

I know that. Jesus Christ, you sound like my fucking wife.

-Your "fucking wife." -You know what I mean.

The Departures magazine out there

did you give any thought at all

to someone else who might wanna read it

-before you tore out the entire page? -What?

It's not the first time you've defaced my reading materials.

You saw that, huh?

People tear shit out of your magazines all the time.

They're a mess. I try to read them.

I don't think I can help you.

Change them. Bring in some new shit.

I mean, therapeutically.

What are you talking about?

I've only missed three appointments since we had that heart-to-heart.

The new big thing these days is called

"psychodynamic therapy"

combined with Anafranil.

-Who? -A medication.

There's a doctor in Bloomfield you could see.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay.

Now what the fuck is this? You're firing me

because I defaced your Departures magazine?

I'm giving you my considered medical opinion.

Okay, I should have asked you,

for the steak recipe.

And missing sessions, unfortunately, is part of my condition.

What do you know about your condition?

You miss appointments because you don't give a shit

about commitments, about what I do

about the body of work that's gone into

building up this science.

Go ahead, tell me again I sound like your wife.

Well, if the shoe fits…

We're making progress. It's been seven years.

Do you want some names?

I'm gonna tell you something. You're not gonna like it,

-but we can say anything in here, right? -Go ahead!

I'm chalking this all up

to female menopausal situations.

You're not my gynecologist.

Well, you don't need a gynecologist to know which way the wind blows.

So wait a minute

you're telling me after all this time

after everything we shared in here

you're cutting me loose just as my son got out of the hospital,

for trying to kill himself?

Since you are in crisis

I don't want to waste your time.

I'm gonna be fucking honest.

As a doctor

I think what you're doing is immoral.

[CAR ALARM BEEPS]

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Yes.

DHL.

Package… …DHL Express for Mr. Philip.

For sign.

[SPEAKS UKRAINIAN]

For sign.

What are you doing?!

Dad, Dad!

They have shot me, Daddy.

[MOANING]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Yeah.

It's done. We're leaving.

Okay.

The woman got mixed up in it too.

She's gone.

Shit. Who?

His daughter.

His daughter? What would she be doing at his mistress's house?

She lives there, I guess.

What?

She called him Daddy.

Whatever.

Let me ask you - your friend speaks Ukrainian?

Ukrainian?

They spoke Ukrainian.

I know because my niece married a guy from there.

Whatever.

-[TV PLAYING] -[CELL PHONE RINGS]

-Yeah. -It's done.

I think the love interest got in the way, though.

Couldn't be helped apparently.

You ever see Phil with the goomar?

Once maybe. Why?

-Could he talk to her in Ukrainian? -Ukrainian? The fuck do I know?

I gotta go.

Paulie, it's done.

[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Listen, I… I quit therapy.

And this time I'm never going back.

Except for that slight improvement around the shooting

she wasn't doing you much good anyway.

Here we go.

-Hi, strangers, how are you? -How are you?

-Good, not bad. -Good, good.

-There they are. -So

Med was in here with Patrick Parisi.

-Yeah. -We are very happy.

Very happy.

Is it true what she said? She's quitting pre-med?

Yes, thank God. We are so relieved.

You know, with AIDS and…

I mean, it's not just that.

I don't know one doctor who is advising his children

to go into medicine. Between the insurance companies

over their shoulder, the hospitals are making cutbacks.

She'd have been good at it, though, Med.

Always intellectually curious, even as a tyke.

But does compassion come naturally to her?

Patience? I'm not so sure.

What are you talking about?

So, what is she gonna do now?

-Well… -Law.

Constitutional law.

What about A.J.? How's he doing?

-He's good. He's good. -Good.

Ton, you know who's in tonight?

"Mangenius."

He's the Jets coach, sweetie.

-I should go say hello. -Okay.

So Med and Patrick Parisi?

Little awkward though, maybe.

Patsy still works for Tony. He's an underling.

Well, Cupid's dart lands, you know?

I'm gonna send some limoncellos over in celebration.

Great.

You don't answer your fucking phone?

-I tried you 50 times last night. -Nah, we shut them off.

Gab came down with a terrible case of food poisoning.

Sil, you can pass the word upstairs.

-The gray goose is gone. -Good.

Apparently, the goomar had to be taken out too.

But I say, who gives a fuck?

Remember that drunken fucking scene she caused at the Jersey Boys party?

I actually felt bad for Phil.

What's the matter?

Whenever I think of that fucking play, I picture Ma dying alone

like a dog on that bus.

You're gonna make someone happy with this news today.

Think I'll ask for some time off.

Hey, who does this look like? Look.

Don't cry. Good little girls don't cry. Babies cry.

Hey.

-How's it going? -Good.

Have my card game.

Carm volunteered to take Nica.

Emptying the pool, huh?

-It cost a fortune to heat. -Yeah.

-What can I do you for? -Had a call from Mario Diaco.

-Who's that? -Uncle Jun's accountant.

The one with the voice box. Says he's been trying to reach you,

for two weeks.

Uncle Jun's finally out of money.

They think that maybe there's some squirreled around,

but he can't remember.

It's a fucking sin, isn't it?

Plus, with the larynx, he thinks Mario's from outer space, so…

The upshot is he can't pay for living at Wycoff Psychiatric anymore,

and they're gonna move him to a state facility.

I know, Tony,

but Jesus, those fucking places are snake pits.

Then he'll make some new friends.

-I understand. -You gonna bail him out?

We don't have that kind of money. We'd contribute.

Bobby feels…

You know.

Right.

You got a lot of balls coming to me.

And as for your husband, Janice

-Exile on Main Street. -Don't say that.

You trust a guy, you bring him along, and for what?

He feels sorry for Junior?

[MUMBLES] Bullshit.

Ton, it's bad news.

Paulie said he wants it known it's on him

he takes full responsibility,

but that he didn't do nothing.

Shit.

Yeah, nobody

I mean nobody, knows where the fuck Phil is

four, five days now.

So we never really had a shot at him.

How about the house in Florida?

I had Beans send somebody past. The house is all shuttered up.

He put everything in place, his moves on us.

He goes into hiding, waits it out.

Going to ground, they call it.

-Who? -It's an expression.

Who knows what the fuck he's got planned.

You get word to everybody, eyes in the back of your head

break routines, collections, all that shit.

You tell everybody.

Got it.

In the meantime, we keep trying. Get a 20 on Phil.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

[HORN BLOWS]

-Beautiful. -You never see a Blue Comet

in that condition. I mean, look at the coaches.

Every window still lights up.

If that train still ran New York to AC

Atlantic City would be a much different place today.

-Better class of people. -I suppose.

Who the fuck really knows?

Still, it's nice to think that.

Imagine riding in that club car sipping on a negroni.

Eight grand for the whole set, huh?

There's other people interested.

I'm gonna go for it.

Your son will like this too. It looks fast.

He don't care.

[BOY SCREAMING]

[BOY SCREAMING]

-[SCREAMING] -[CRYING]

-Hurry up, for Christ's sake. -All right, aspetta.

I'll be working away from the office, I should have this stuff.

You wanna make yourself useful? Get the girls' pay slips over there.

Put them in a bag. Or give them to me.

Come on.

All right.

[JAZZ STANDARD PLAYING]

Let's go. Let's go.

Yeah, that's them there.

Fuck!

What the fuck?

[CAR ALARM BLARING]

[CLICKS] Let's get the hell out of here.

[CLAMORING]

[SONG CONTINUES PLAYING]

[HORNS HONKING]

[GASPING]

Wait here.

Melissa found a memory stick in my Prada bag that wasn't printed.

God, remember what a dick this guy was at first?

Yeah. [BOTH LAUGHING]

I need to talk to you.

-Nobody called you? -No. What's the matter?

Bobby's dead. He's shot. Sil's in the hospital.

-What happened? -Could be several things.

-"Leave here"? -Temporarily, till we get

-the situation under control. -What's that mean?

Carm, help me out here. Don't argue.

-They're after you? -We should split up.

You and the kids go. I'll be somewhere else.

-Oh, my God! -Now, look

families don't get touched. You know that. I just wanna know

that you're not sitting here out in the open.

Where should I go? And you?

The house you just bought, the estate sale

-go there. -Oh, Jesus.

A hotel then. It doesn't fucking matter.

-Okay. -You all right?

We gotta get moving. Like I said, it's just a precaution.

-What about your sister? -She's gotta know by now.

We'll stop over there after we're cleared out of here.

-And Gab? How bad is Sil? -We'll make some calls.

-Maybe I should go to Jan's. -Carm…

Meadow is basically living at Patrick's.

How you gonna get A.J. to go along?

-He won't leave the house. -He's gonna leave the house.

-Tony… -On a piece of plywood, if necessary,

but he'll leave the house.

Anything I can do?

-No. -You heard?

-Or maybe I should just leave. -I'll call you.

It says Shukrijumah brought nuclear material

into the country from Mexico in 2002.

Fuck.

Leave us alone, hon.

-Hang downstairs. -Better yet, don't.

You just bust in? We could have been doing anything.

Yeah, but what were you doing? Nothing.

We're just friends.

All right, listen.

Come, sit up.

Come on.

Your Uncle Bobby's dead.

-What? -He's dead. He got shot.

-What do you mean, "he got shot"? -Listen

I don't have any time to go into a debate about any of this, okay?

And it's important that we all leave,

for a little while until things settle down.

-What? Holy fuck. -It's just a precaution.

The point is that

I'm gonna be dependent on you to help out your mother.

-Help out how? -Just do what she asks

you know, chores, tasks

whatever.

And don't add to the problem.

What do you mean? What the fuck did I do?

Don't break her balls, all right, huh?

Just help her

with Aunt Janice, whatever.

Uncle Bobby's dead.

Yeah.

This is really depressing to me.

He was a good guy.

I was already having so much trouble maintaining.

[CRYING]

OW! OW!

[BONES CRACK]

-My tailbone! -Here.

Pack a bag. Now!

And you won't need no sandals or fucking resort wear.

I'll be waiting downstairs.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I called the hospital. They wouldn't give no info on Sil.

Gab's brother finally phoned back.

Doctors don't think he'll recover consciousness.

Look at the stems on blondie.

He's riding high.

Nice to be young, huh?

I'm gonna bunk down here.

All right, you go take care of your wife

that flu.

-You too. -Where the fuck I gotta be?

Yeah, I'm gonna stay.

We order a pizz'?

Yeah.

Get some meatballs and sausage too.

Couple of salads. No vegetarian pizza.

And paper plates too. We ain't got no things in here.

[SIGHS]

You probably don't even hear it when it happens?

Ask your friend in there, on the wall. [LAUGHS]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]