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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:04,500 Good to be home, isn't it? Yeah. 2 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,940 Yeah. Yeah. Hey... 3 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,180 Oh, Dad, you don't need to do this every time you clean the sink. 4 00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:10,980 I know. I know. I just thought I would 5 00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:12,500 because I wanted to give you a... 6 00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:14,060 ..surprise! 7 00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:17,700 Surprise! Happy baby shower! Oh, my God! Yeah. 8 00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:20,140 I did invite your mum but she sent some very unkind memes 9 00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:22,420 by way of reply so... Oh... 10 00:00:22,420 --> 00:00:25,500 Well, nothing's on fire, like the last party you organised. 11 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,580 Oh, come here, mate. 12 00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:28,860 You helped him with all this, right? 13 00:00:28,860 --> 00:00:30,340 Me? No. Oh, God! 14 00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,060 Hello! Look, look, look, look, look... 15 00:00:33,060 --> 00:00:34,300 Loads of pressies. Yeah. 16 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,820 Look, and here's Catherine. 17 00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:38,020 Dad, it looks like she's died. 18 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:42,580 So, yeah, Derek sorted out all the food. Aww! 19 00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:44,620 Roast beef dinner flavour. One of my favourites. 20 00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,140 Oh, wow, that's actual baby food? 21 00:00:46,140 --> 00:00:48,580 Yeah. We're not just eating actual baby food, are we? 22 00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:51,140 What else are we going to eat at a baby shower? 23 00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:52,180 And there's... There's presents! 24 00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:54,060 Sit down, I'll get them for you. Oh... 25 00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:56,980 Sit down. Look, this one... This is, er... 26 00:00:56,980 --> 00:00:59,900 This is from Baris. Ooh! 27 00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:03,260 Adult nappies. Yeah, and, er... 28 00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:04,340 And we're not Jewish. 29 00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:05,580 Well, neither is he! 30 00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:07,780 Adult nappies are really handy, post-birth. 31 00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:11,220 From me... Ooh, what's this, then? 32 00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:17,100 A Tia Maria and two water damaged boxes of Calpol? 33 00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:20,300 Found those under the sink, at work I thought, "Gemma'll like these." 34 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,860 Could open it now? Wet the baby's head? 35 00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:25,700 The Tia Maria, not the Calpol. Although... 36 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:28,620 ..cheeky cocktail? Erm... 37 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:30,380 I just got to, erm... 38 00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:31,740 There you go, Gemma, love. 39 00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:34,860 Oh, thanks, Winnie! 40 00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:37,780 Aww! What a lovely dog toy. 41 00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:39,020 It's a baby toy. No. 42 00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:40,900 It's a dog toy. 43 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,780 No, baby toy. 44 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:44,260 OK. 45 00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:46,940 Few essentials. 46 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,380 Boring but useful. 47 00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:51,740 Babe, did you see the dog toy and the menorah? Don't... 48 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:55,060 I'm desperate for "boring but useful." 49 00:01:55,060 --> 00:01:56,100 No Xander, by the way? 50 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:57,780 I don't think so. 51 00:01:57,780 --> 00:02:00,780 I did invite him, though. 52 00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:03,140 Don't think I've forgotten about your birthday tomorrow, king. 53 00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:04,300 Don't make a fuss. 54 00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:08,060 Malcolm, you and I need to have some fun before this baby comes along and 55 00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:12,940 ruins all our lives, OK, which is why I have booked us an escape room. 56 00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:17,100 I don't even know what that is. What?! Really? 57 00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:19,900 Well, I bloody love them, so happy birthday. 58 00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:22,660 Right, get out of the fucking way, Winnie. 59 00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:26,180 What's this going to be, then? 60 00:02:31,740 --> 00:02:33,100 It's a baby blanket. 61 00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:34,300 Oh, my God! 62 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:36,660 This is really lovely! 63 00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:38,380 Always bossing the pressies. 64 00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:41,020 Aww! Yeah. 65 00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:45,380 Babe, check there's nothing weird in or on this. 66 00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:46,940 It's lovely, that. 67 00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:48,180 Nope! 68 00:02:50,260 --> 00:02:51,780 So, two weeks to go, eh? 69 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:55,300 Yeah. And you've got all the basics covered? Cot? Yep. 70 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,660 Pram? Yep. Oil for massaging Gemma's perineum? 71 00:02:58,660 --> 00:03:00,460 Oh, well, we haven't talked about that, 72 00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:03,220 but there's some Crisp 'N Dry in the cupboard if she needs it. 73 00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:05,500 Listen, what time's this escape room booked for? 74 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:07,620 Cos I'm having a wart removed in the morning - you know, 75 00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,620 just as a birthday treat to myself. 76 00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:13,380 No idea. All I know is that they grab you off the street 77 00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:15,500 and bundle you into a van. 78 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:19,380 What, like a kidnapping? Exactly...like a kidnapping. 79 00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:21,580 It's themed on the film Taken. 80 00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:24,140 Yeah, but what...? What if it's a real kidnapping 81 00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:27,220 and I don't fight back cos I think it's the escape room thing. 82 00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,660 Well, that, my friend,, is part of the thrill, isn't it? 83 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,340 You might think it's the escape room guys, 84 00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:33,580 whereas actually it's an old enemy who wants to rip out your heart 85 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,460 and shit in your chest cavity. 86 00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:38,700 Thankfully I haven't got any old enemies who'd want to do that. 87 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:39,940 What about your ex-wife? 88 00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:42,820 Oh, fuck... 89 00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:47,980 So which lucky tosser did you pick as your birth partner in the end? 90 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:50,820 Malcolm? Oh, God, no, can you imagine? 91 00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:53,260 No-one wants their dad catching a glimpse of the business end. 92 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:54,580 Hmm... 93 00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:58,220 Oh, remind me, I need to pick up his birthday cake. 94 00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:01,340 Do you think he'd like me to jump out of it, semi-naked? 95 00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:03,060 Cake's about this big. 96 00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:05,500 I could hide a boob in there? 97 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,260 Who IS going to be your birth partner? 98 00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,660 Cherry's the natural choice, but she's got the kids. 99 00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:12,980 I keep telling her, Winnie - pick me. Pick me! 100 00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:14,740 I'd be amazing, Gemma. 101 00:04:14,740 --> 00:04:18,700 I was once held hostage in an embassy and I thrived. 102 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:21,380 Absolutely thrived under those conditions. 103 00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:23,340 You can't make a diamond without intense pressure. 104 00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:27,500 Fine. If Cherry's not available, you can do it. 105 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,460 Look, Winnie, you might not see me for a while now. 106 00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:31,260 I go on maternity leave on Monday. 107 00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:33,940 I've got a lovely 18-year-old boy coming in to cover. 108 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,140 Very keen to learn the ropes... 109 00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:37,540 ..if you know what I mean? 110 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,140 Good luck, Gemma, love. 111 00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:41,260 Thanks, Winnie. 112 00:04:41,260 --> 00:04:42,420 See you. 113 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:46,820 Rita... Mm? ..please don't groom your 18-year-old 114 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,100 apprentice into shagging you on a crate of toner. 115 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,140 What the fuck is that? 116 00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:58,940 I think my waters have broke. I'm not due for another two weeks. 117 00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:02,060 It's OK, Gemma. Yeah... I'm here. 118 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:04,260 I'm just going to get the... 119 00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:07,260 ..get the "cleaning in progress" sign so no-one slips on your... 120 00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:08,380 ..fluid. 121 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:11,300 Rita?! 122 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:13,220 Where are you going? Rita?! 123 00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:19,580 Oh, what a lovely job. 124 00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:20,860 Oh... 125 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,900 Ooh... 126 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,500 Malcolm Moscrip? Eh? 127 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:26,980 You're about to be... 128 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:29,700 ..taken. What?! Oh! 129 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:30,780 Oh, right, OK. 130 00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:33,100 Before we go on, can I just double check my wife - 131 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,380 well, my ex-wife - Davina, she's not involved in this at all, is she? 132 00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:38,500 There's no Davina on the booking form. 133 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:40,020 Oh, thank goodness for that. 134 00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:41,780 Right. Well, crack on. 135 00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:44,220 OK, great. Well, give me your phone. Eh? Why? 136 00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:47,380 Because you're being... ..taken. 137 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,540 Oh, right. 138 00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:49,580 Yeah, there you go. 139 00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:52,260 Right, in the van. Right! Oh! 140 00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:55,180 Ha-ha! Oh! 141 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:58,580 Head... DEREK: Malcolm? ..hands. 142 00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,540 This is fun, isn't it, Derek? 143 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:04,620 I think I've made a terrible mistake! 144 00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:06,100 Argh! 145 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,580 Rita? Is everything OK?! 146 00:06:08,580 --> 00:06:10,500 I'm having a shit! 147 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,540 I'm having a baby! 148 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,380 Look, a massive shit! Go away! 149 00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:16,380 You know how sluggish my bowels get! 150 00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:18,820 Right, so you don't want to be my birthing partner after all? 151 00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:20,260 On reflection, no. 152 00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:21,940 What about "I thrive under pressure"? 153 00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:24,020 What about "I was taken hostage in an embassy"? 154 00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:27,220 No-one comes out of anyone else's vagina during a siege, Gemma! 155 00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,660 Ooh... 156 00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:36,180 Oh... 157 00:06:38,420 --> 00:06:39,820 Ooh... 158 00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:42,700 Why are you closing early? 159 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,020 Gas leak. 160 00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:47,260 I don't smell any gas. No, there's so much gas. 161 00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:50,140 You better go, actually. I don't want you exploding everywhere. 162 00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:52,700 Are you sure you're not in labour? I might be a bit in labour. 163 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:55,300 Then why are you pretending not to be? 164 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:58,540 I don't know! It's too early, I'm taking my dad out for dinner tonight. 165 00:06:58,540 --> 00:07:00,060 You are such a dickhead, Gemma! 166 00:07:00,060 --> 00:07:03,740 Come on, I'll drive you to the hospital. OK. 167 00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:05,740 Watch your step. 168 00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:08,580 Oh, what a great birthday treat, Derek, thank you. 169 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:09,900 I don't... 170 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,620 I don't like it, Malcolm. 171 00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:18,140 Turns out I don't like being bundled into a van with a bag on my head. 172 00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:20,420 Take your hood off, Malcolm. What? 173 00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:21,620 I'm quite enjoying it, actually. 174 00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:24,260 Keep your hoods on. You'll spoil the magic. 175 00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:29,140 I told you to cuff them BEHIND their backs. 176 00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:31,460 Dad, it's happening. 177 00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:33,540 I'm not ready. 178 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,620 Happy birthday. 179 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,780 Hey, let's get you in. 180 00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:40,300 OK... 181 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,780 Do you need help with your legs? 182 00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:43,620 No, I'm fine. Right. 183 00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:45,020 Argh! 184 00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:46,300 OK. 185 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,580 OK. 186 00:07:54,580 --> 00:07:58,660 Gentlemen, welcome to your Taken themed escape room. 187 00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:02,260 You have been Taken and must solve the clues to release 188 00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:05,540 yourself from this lock-up and save your daughter. 189 00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:08,260 Sorry. I don't want to sound like I'm not enjoying it, cos I am, 190 00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:12,300 but wasn't it the daughter that got taken in Taken? 191 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:13,860 Eh? I mean, it wasn't... 192 00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:15,860 It wasn't Liam Neeson who got taken, was it? 193 00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,380 It was his daughter, wasn't it? 194 00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:18,420 Yeah, Malcolm's right. 195 00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:20,220 Are we meant to be the daughter? 196 00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:21,700 I knew it. 197 00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:22,940 I fucking knew it. 198 00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:24,700 I said we should have done the Saw franchise. 199 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:25,940 No. No! OK. 200 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:29,540 You need to escape from the lock-up to save your daughter... 201 00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:31,060 ...who has been... 202 00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:34,420 ..Taken. Taken, yeah, but WE were the ones who got taken. 203 00:08:34,420 --> 00:08:36,980 So are we AND our daughters both taken? 204 00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:39,020 Yeah, it is a bit confusing, isn't it? 205 00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:42,060 Everyone says this, Warren! Everyone. 206 00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:45,540 We've literally not taken a single person who doesn't immediately say, 207 00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:48,100 "This makes no sense if you've seen the film Taken." 208 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,380 Well, what's your solution, Craig? 209 00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,260 That we kidnap people's daughters so we can make the theme land? 210 00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:57,620 I just think we need to work a little harder on the world building. 211 00:08:58,820 --> 00:08:59,860 You've got three hours. 212 00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:01,020 Three hours!? 213 00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:03,340 Your mate went for the deluxe package. 214 00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:06,940 Technically it's cheaper, Malcolm. All right! 215 00:09:07,940 --> 00:09:10,300 Erm... 216 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,700 ..where do we start? 217 00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:16,820 Whoa, your own room?! 218 00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:17,900 I know. 48 hours ago, 219 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:20,700 she would have been on a trolley near the needle bins. 220 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,700 I can't have the baby today, it's my dad's birthday. 221 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,020 Oh, I don't think there's much we can do about that. 222 00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,540 There aren't some stitches you can put in, 223 00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:29,220 some special glue? Baby comes when baby wants to come. 224 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,860 OK. Nnngh... 225 00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:32,620 Ooh... 226 00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:35,060 What the FUCK is that supposed to mean? 227 00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:38,620 I bet it's something to do with the light bulb. 228 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,580 There's always a clue in the light bulb. 229 00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:45,860 Argh! it's so fucking hot. Fuck! 230 00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:48,180 You fucking have a go, Malcolm. Fuck! 231 00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:50,860 I don't think it is to do with the light bulb, you know? 232 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,420 Right, listen, Malcolm. 233 00:09:56,420 --> 00:10:00,220 Erm...there's...er...something I wanted to bring up. 234 00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:02,700 Something about Gemma. 235 00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,380 Yeah. What about Gemma? 236 00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:08,140 Well, you know, she's going to have this baby soon isn't she and, er, 237 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,940 you know she's going to need someone to take care of her. 238 00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:11,340 Yeah, well, I'm going take care of her. 239 00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:14,060 Well, you're not going to be around forever, mate, OK? 240 00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:18,740 You know, someone with a good job who you know 241 00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:20,780 and idolise a little bit. 242 00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:26,140 And, you know, someone you think of as a really sexy son. 243 00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:31,380 Which is why I would like your permission to ask Gemma... 244 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,500 ..to marry me. 245 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:38,940 Er, aren't you still married to, like, someone else? 246 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:42,740 I'm sorry, Derek. 247 00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:48,060 I am never having sex again if this is what happens. 248 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:50,540 What a stupid fucking stupid system, and stop breathing so loudly. 249 00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:52,340 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Stop saying sorry. 250 00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:55,580 It's not your fault. No. I mean, I probably should apologise, though. 251 00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:58,940 For... For... For ghosting you, after Ben. 252 00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,900 I was ghosting YOU, buddy. 253 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,700 I was ghosting YOU, buddy. 254 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,980 I was ghosting the shit out of you. 255 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,700 Cherry told me what happened. 256 00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:12,340 Have you heard from him at all? 257 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:14,060 We're not talking about this now. 258 00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:20,940 I'm really glad you're here, though. 259 00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:24,860 Yeah? 260 00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:27,660 Will you go and get me a milkshake and a bag of crisps? 261 00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:29,540 Yeah. 262 00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:35,380 I've done it! 263 00:11:35,380 --> 00:11:37,140 Oh, poo! 264 00:11:37,140 --> 00:11:39,500 Look, it's another maths clue. 265 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,700 Derek?! 266 00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,500 Look! 267 00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:49,020 The baby's heart rate is a little fast, 268 00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:51,860 so we'll try giving you some more fluid. OK. 269 00:12:02,940 --> 00:12:04,220 Who the fuck are you? 270 00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:06,580 Er, Catherine gave me this number for emergencies. 271 00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:08,100 It's Gemma. Her sister. 272 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:10,540 Oh! Hundred quid, five minutes. 273 00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:12,140 Oi, shitface, it's your sister. 274 00:12:13,540 --> 00:12:18,060 Gemma! I told you to only use this number if there's an emergency. 275 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:20,460 You're going to have to send her 100 quid in crypto currency. 276 00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:21,660 For a five-minute call?! 277 00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:23,460 Are you in hospital? 278 00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:25,220 Yeah. 279 00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:27,940 I'm in labour and I can't get through to Dad, or even Mum. 280 00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:29,020 I mean, I... 281 00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:31,300 I really don't want to do this alone. 282 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,700 There was summat I wanted to discuss with you, actually. 283 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,860 I'm literally having a baby. That's why I called you. 284 00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:38,420 Well, it's not coming out of you right this second, though, is it? 285 00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:41,020 No, no. You're correct. Go on. 286 00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:43,900 Am I a bad person? Cos I think I might be a bad person. 287 00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:48,260 Oh! I mean, I don't know! Maybe? 288 00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:51,940 Just with the trial coming up, I'm starting to wonder 289 00:12:51,940 --> 00:12:56,380 if I shouldn't have paid someone to push Gary off that fire escape. 290 00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:59,380 I think it might have been a bit selfish. 291 00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:03,180 I mean, it was a pretty terrible thing to do, Catherine! 292 00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:04,780 He's fine now, though. 293 00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:06,020 Really. 294 00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:09,180 He actually seems a lot happier since it happened. 295 00:13:09,180 --> 00:13:12,780 If you know it was bad, and you're not going to do it again, 296 00:13:12,780 --> 00:13:14,180 then that's growth. 297 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,300 Thanks, Gemma. 298 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,460 Oh, shit! Screws! 299 00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:20,740 No, Cat! Don't go! 300 00:13:22,180 --> 00:13:23,540 Cat?! 301 00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:24,580 Fuckin' 'ell! 302 00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:33,060 Come on, mate. 303 00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:36,100 You can ignore me all afternoon, we'll never get out of here. 304 00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:40,420 I'm not going to lie to you, Malcolm - 305 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,540 this hasn't really gone as planned. 306 00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:45,260 I was going to ask your permission to marry Gemma, you'd say yes, 307 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:48,060 we'd bosh our way through the escape room, 308 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:50,540 and then onto the pub for your birthday drinks and... 309 00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:52,980 ..to toast me as your new son-in-law. 310 00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:54,020 I'm sorry, mate. 311 00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,820 But, you know, even if I'd said yes, I've got a feeling that... 312 00:13:57,820 --> 00:14:01,500 ..Gemma, you know, she wouldn't go for it. Do you think? 313 00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:05,820 Yeah, you're right. 314 00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:08,180 Screw her. Screw her. 315 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,300 But also... 316 00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:14,180 ..she's the best thing in my life... 317 00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,420 ..and I love her very much. 318 00:14:18,180 --> 00:14:19,420 Whatever, mate. 319 00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:21,620 You're being really boring now. 320 00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:25,780 Come on, let's solve this motherfucker - Derek style. 321 00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:28,420 Yeah! 322 00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:31,180 Check the files! It's always in the files. 323 00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,660 What are you doing? Fucking maths?! 324 00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,460 Hey, look, I think I've got it. 325 00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:38,060 Stop wasting time. 326 00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:39,820 What?! That was the... 327 00:14:39,820 --> 00:14:41,660 Let's go, come on. 328 00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:45,700 Why's it not in the files?! It's supposed to be here! 329 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,740 There you go. Fuck, this is too hard! 330 00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:50,340 Oh, this is too hard, this is too hard. It's impossible. 331 00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:51,820 What do we do now?! 332 00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:54,180 I'll check the pillows, you keep fucking pedalling. 333 00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:57,620 Argh! Argh! 334 00:14:57,620 --> 00:15:00,900 I can't find it! Argh! 335 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,820 Malcolm, flip this! 336 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,740 Oh, God! It's too hard! 337 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:12,180 It's too hard! It's too hard, we give up! I don't feel well. 338 00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:18,540 Please! 339 00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:20,740 Get us out! 340 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:23,540 Oh, this is horrible. 341 00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:25,340 It's going to get a fuck of a lot worse. 342 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:27,980 Hey! What? She knows. 343 00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:29,860 That's right, babe. Suck it up. 344 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,260 That really does take the edge off, doesn't it? 345 00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:35,660 Listen, I can't stay long - the kids are waiting in a taxi 346 00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:37,420 and I've got about eight minutes before one of them 347 00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,780 smashes a window, so... Honestly, it's fine. 348 00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:42,860 I think it's going to be pretty plain sailing from here on out. 349 00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,940 I wonder what it's like to be really flat? 350 00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:51,220 You know, like when people get slid under doors 351 00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:52,900 because they're so flat? 352 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:59,660 You know like when they're really flat and they slide under doors? 353 00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:01,380 God, I love gas and air. 354 00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:02,420 Give us a toke on that. 355 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,460 Oh, Cherry, Cherry... 356 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:08,220 Ugh... Oh, it's so good. 357 00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:12,620 Hm! 358 00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:13,700 Gem. 359 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:14,740 Listen to me. 360 00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:20,900 Take all the drugs that you can, even if you don't need them. 361 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:24,020 Hospital-grade heroin is amazing. 362 00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:27,740 Sometimes I dream about getting into a little car accident 363 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,980 just so I can have the bed rest and the morphine. 364 00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:31,020 Mmm... 365 00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:33,260 Good luck, mate. 366 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,940 Here you are, get your lips round that. 367 00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:37,980 Thank you. 368 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:44,900 Don't you dare leave her side or I will break both your kneecaps. 369 00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:48,340 Let me know when she's had it. 370 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:52,900 Cherry... 371 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:53,940 You're flat. 372 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:58,580 Slide under the door, but don't tell anyone. 373 00:16:58,580 --> 00:17:00,340 All right, phones back, lads. 374 00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:01,860 Why'd you make it that hard? 375 00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:03,740 I don't think it is that hard, is it? 376 00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:05,580 Takes all the fun out of it, you make it that hard. 377 00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:08,980 Gemma's having her baby. 378 00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:10,620 My daughter is having her baby! 379 00:17:10,620 --> 00:17:11,700 Today? Rude. 380 00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,780 Yeah, she was calling a lot. 381 00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:16,740 Yeah, well, at least she hasn't, been Taken, am I right? Ha. 382 00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:19,020 Take me to the hospital. Can you drive me to the hospital? 383 00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,500 We're not a taxi service, mate. 384 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:24,260 Listen, you drive my best friend to the hospital... 385 00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:30,460 ..or I will find you and I WILL kill you. 386 00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:31,580 Jesus. 387 00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:32,660 Joke. 388 00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,580 But I will leave you a scathing review, so... 389 00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:36,820 All right, you two, follow me. 390 00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:37,860 Thanks. 391 00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:44,220 I'll tidy up then, shall I? 392 00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:51,020 Uhh... 393 00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:52,460 You can go if you want. 394 00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:53,500 Get some food. 395 00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:55,940 No. 396 00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:58,540 I nabbed a bit of dry toast that the midwife 397 00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:01,980 shouted at me for stealing, so I'm all good. 398 00:18:06,180 --> 00:18:08,780 Look, I'm not going anywhere. 399 00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:13,380 Unless you want me to leave. 400 00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:14,900 No. I want you here with me. 401 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,580 God, I bet I look awful. 402 00:18:19,580 --> 00:18:20,620 No. 403 00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:23,940 I've never seen you look so beautiful. 404 00:18:26,260 --> 00:18:28,940 And you always look beautiful. 405 00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,540 Baby's heart rate hasn't settled, Gemma, 406 00:18:32,540 --> 00:18:35,300 so it's time to discuss other options. 407 00:18:39,940 --> 00:18:41,140 Oh, come on. 408 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,980 I saw three of mine slide into this world. 409 00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:50,300 Absolutely fucking disgusting. 410 00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:54,100 I mean, really offensive. 411 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,180 It's blood and shit just everywhere. 412 00:18:58,540 --> 00:19:01,260 She was screaming, I was screaming. 413 00:19:02,220 --> 00:19:04,380 The doctor was screaming. 414 00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:05,580 "Argh! 415 00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:07,700 "What the fuck is that? Argh!" 416 00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:15,580 "Out of ten, how would you rate your escape room experience?" 417 00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:17,540 I just remember popping out for a Walnut Whip 418 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:21,340 and when I came back, Davina was watching Neighbours with the baby. 419 00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:23,540 Both times! 420 00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:26,220 "Too fucking hard out of ten." 421 00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:27,300 That's how I'd rate it. 422 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:33,540 Go rescue your daughter! 423 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,940 Stop saying the cool...! 424 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,260 I get the cool sign-off line! 425 00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,300 Malcolm! 426 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,340 What? 427 00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:39,380 I just... 428 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:42,780 Just don't fuck it up, big guy, all right? 429 00:19:42,780 --> 00:19:44,180 Yeah. Thanks. Mm. 430 00:19:45,260 --> 00:19:46,620 Yeah. 431 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,060 Yeah, OK. Thanks. 432 00:19:55,140 --> 00:19:56,740 Xander! 433 00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:58,380 Is she OK? I got messages. 434 00:19:58,380 --> 00:19:59,740 Gemma's being prepped for surgery. 435 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:00,940 She needs a C-section. 436 00:20:00,940 --> 00:20:03,340 Only one birthing partner can go in. 437 00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:04,500 I'm her father. 438 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,620 You know, I'm Gemma's father. 439 00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:06,980 I'm not the baby's father, you know. 440 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:08,220 I'm just a friend. Yeah. 441 00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:09,900 I mean, the father's not around, so... 442 00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,700 Which one of you is going in with her? 443 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:14,820 Well, he's all dressed for it, isn't he? 444 00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:16,660 No, I think you sh... Dad? 445 00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:20,940 Gem... 446 00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:21,980 Gemma! 447 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:26,820 Where have you been? Oh... 448 00:20:26,820 --> 00:20:29,540 Some men took my phone off me. 449 00:20:29,540 --> 00:20:32,020 Who did? Oh, it doesn't matter. 450 00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:35,340 So you'll feel a tugging sensation. 451 00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:38,140 But there won't be any pain, I promise. 452 00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:41,220 Oh, God, that's really weird and gross. 453 00:20:41,220 --> 00:20:43,460 Would you like me to talk you through what's happening? 454 00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:44,500 No. 455 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:47,260 Talk to me about literally anything other than what's happening. 456 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:49,060 Didn't you say you'd just had your floors done? 457 00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:52,220 Err, yeah, we had, er, damp proofing and a concrete pour. 458 00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:54,420 God, that feels really weird. 459 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,820 Tell me about the screed. 460 00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:56,980 This stool is bit low, isn't it? 461 00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:58,140 Can it go any higher? 462 00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:00,180 Or I could stand up, couldn't I? 463 00:21:00,180 --> 00:21:02,700 Oh, shit, sorry. Should I touch that or is it contaminated? 464 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:04,420 Dad... I don't know. Don't look over the curtain. 465 00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:05,580 What? Oh... 466 00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:06,620 Ohh... 467 00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:10,540 Nearly there, Gemma. 468 00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:12,540 The surgeon's just cutting through the sac. 469 00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:14,060 You know what? I think that curtain should be higher. 470 00:21:14,060 --> 00:21:15,300 I'm going to write to someone about that. 471 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:16,940 Unless there's, like, a suggestion box 472 00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:18,580 or something like that, you know? 473 00:21:18,580 --> 00:21:21,220 Are you ready to meet your baby, Gemma? 474 00:21:21,220 --> 00:21:23,700 Should be good now. OK. And another clamp... 475 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:24,740 Here she is. 476 00:21:24,740 --> 00:21:26,940 She's a girl! 477 00:21:31,340 --> 00:21:33,660 Oh, my God, Gem. 478 00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:36,020 Isn't she clever? You're so clever. 479 00:21:36,020 --> 00:21:37,820 The baby's fine. She's gorgeous. 480 00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:40,300 You're such a clever girl. She's perfect. 481 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:41,340 Just like you. 482 00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:45,900 Isn't she clever? 483 00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:48,420 Oh, God. Congratulations, Gemma. 484 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:55,220 Oh, she's gorgeous, Gem. 485 00:21:55,220 --> 00:21:57,340 Oh, there you go, Grandad. 486 00:21:57,340 --> 00:21:59,260 Oh, my God. 487 00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:00,460 Hello, little one. 488 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:03,540 Oh, she's perfect. 489 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:07,740 Look at you, little one. 490 00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:13,740 Gorgeous. Hello, I'm your grandad. BP's dropping... 491 00:22:13,740 --> 00:22:14,780 Someone call the registrar. 492 00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:16,340 I can't stop the bleeding. What? 493 00:22:16,340 --> 00:22:17,620 Need clamps. What's happening? 494 00:22:17,620 --> 00:22:20,220 What? It's going to be fine. What's going on? 495 00:22:20,220 --> 00:22:22,340 Sorry, Grandad. I can't find the source of the bleeding. 496 00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:23,900 Gem? She's still bleeding. 497 00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:27,500 I'll just be outside. You're going to be all right, OK? 498 00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:29,340 You'll be all right. Five litre blood loss... 499 00:22:29,340 --> 00:22:31,780 Dad! It's OK, my love, it's OK. 500 00:22:31,780 --> 00:22:32,860 Still bleeding. 501 00:22:32,860 --> 00:22:34,980 I can't see anything. 502 00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:36,020 Hello. 503 00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:39,700 Hey. 504 00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:43,100 Hey. 505 00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:46,100 All right. 506 00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:55,380 Shh... 507 00:22:57,100 --> 00:22:58,580 She's going to be OK. 508 00:22:59,820 --> 00:23:00,860 Hey. 509 00:23:02,220 --> 00:23:03,620 Isn't she? 510 00:23:03,620 --> 00:23:04,660 Hey. 511 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,780 Gemma's fine. 512 00:23:09,780 --> 00:23:12,500 She lost a lot of blood, but she's fine. 513 00:23:13,620 --> 00:23:15,660 She's OK? She's in recovery. 514 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:17,220 We'll bring her back soon. 515 00:23:17,220 --> 00:23:18,940 All right. 516 00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:19,980 Thank you. 517 00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:32,340 Do you hear that? 518 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:35,740 We're going to be all right. 519 00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:03,140 Shh... Come on, come on. 520 00:24:03,140 --> 00:24:04,340 Grandad's here. 521 00:24:04,340 --> 00:24:05,740 Come on. That's it. 522 00:24:05,740 --> 00:24:06,900 Come on. 523 00:24:06,900 --> 00:24:07,940 Good girl. 524 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:11,940 All right, I've got her. 525 00:24:11,940 --> 00:24:13,220 You go back to sleep, babes. 526 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,140 I've thought of a name. 527 00:24:18,140 --> 00:24:19,980 Have you? What? 528 00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:21,380 Sadie. 529 00:24:21,380 --> 00:24:22,660 Oh, Sadie! 530 00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:24,100 I love that! 531 00:24:25,060 --> 00:24:26,540 Hello, Sadie. 532 00:24:27,620 --> 00:24:29,340 Hey? 533 00:24:29,340 --> 00:24:31,260 You're a much nicer birthday present 534 00:24:31,260 --> 00:24:35,620 than being stuck in a storage unit with your Uncle Derek, aren't you? 535 00:24:35,620 --> 00:24:37,460 What the hell have you been doing today? 536 00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:40,100 I'll tell you later. 537 00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:43,780 There's a visitor for you, Gemma. 538 00:24:45,340 --> 00:24:47,420 Oh, could you tell them to come back tomorrow? 539 00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:49,380 Oh, she's been quite insistent. 540 00:24:53,140 --> 00:24:54,180 Mum! 541 00:24:57,380 --> 00:24:59,020 It's OK, Gemma, love. 542 00:25:00,580 --> 00:25:01,620 I'm here now. 543 00:25:03,620 --> 00:25:05,380 Davina! 544 00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:07,100 Malcolm. 545 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:08,700 What are you doing? 546 00:25:09,660 --> 00:25:12,180 Gemma doesn't want the baby catching something 547 00:25:12,180 --> 00:25:15,020 from your dirty, great warehouse hands. 548 00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:16,140 No, I'm sorry. 549 00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:17,900 I'm so sorry. 550 00:25:19,740 --> 00:25:20,780 I'm sorry... 551 00:25:26,300 --> 00:25:27,340 Hiya, Mum. 552 00:25:29,140 --> 00:25:30,500 Hiya, sweetheart. 39751

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