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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 3 00:00:23,108 --> 00:00:26,287 - can you teach an old dog to turn tricks? 4 00:00:26,311 --> 00:00:27,555 ruff! 5 00:00:27,579 --> 00:00:30,458 canine call girls next on sick, sad world. 6 00:00:30,482 --> 00:00:33,962 - daria, have you seen my new teenage superstars magazine? 7 00:00:33,986 --> 00:00:35,529 - i couldn't help myself. 8 00:00:35,553 --> 00:00:38,733 i've plastered my walls with its hot, sexy pinups. 9 00:00:38,757 --> 00:00:40,601 - i'll ask mom. 10 00:00:40,625 --> 00:00:42,703 - daria, have you seen your father? 11 00:00:42,727 --> 00:00:45,907 - did you look under the teenage superstars magazine? 12 00:00:45,931 --> 00:00:49,177 - i'll ask quinn. 13 00:00:49,201 --> 00:00:50,611 - need some money for new clothes 14 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:51,679 for the standardized test, 15 00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:52,780 because i hate filling in 16 00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:54,415 those little circles in an old outfit. 17 00:00:54,439 --> 00:00:55,616 - now, did you see your father? 18 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,418 when was the last time you saw him? 19 00:00:57,442 --> 00:00:59,453 - hello? anybody? 20 00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:00,654 please? 21 00:01:00,678 --> 00:01:01,990 is anybody out there? 22 00:01:02,014 --> 00:01:03,891 am i the only one left in the house? 23 00:01:03,915 --> 00:01:05,693 - if i help you with the first question, 24 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:08,329 will you try to do the second one on your own? 25 00:01:08,353 --> 00:01:09,863 - daria, thank god! 26 00:01:09,887 --> 00:01:11,132 your mother's at her work thing, 27 00:01:11,156 --> 00:01:13,134 and quinn's at her school thing, and... 28 00:01:13,158 --> 00:01:14,769 i thought i'd be stuck in here forever. 29 00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:17,272 - okay, listen closely. 30 00:01:17,296 --> 00:01:18,973 there's a knob on the door. 31 00:01:18,997 --> 00:01:20,641 turn it counterclockwise. 32 00:01:20,665 --> 00:01:22,443 - we're all out of toilet paper, kiddo! 33 00:01:22,467 --> 00:01:24,111 would you believe it? - oh. 34 00:01:24,135 --> 00:01:26,380 well, i'll go grab some from downstairs. 35 00:01:26,404 --> 00:01:27,815 - there isn't any downstairs. 36 00:01:27,839 --> 00:01:29,317 that's why i ran up here. 37 00:01:29,341 --> 00:01:31,285 damn heart-smart chili. 38 00:01:31,309 --> 00:01:32,419 - i see. 39 00:01:32,443 --> 00:01:35,123 walking away now with too much information. 40 00:01:35,147 --> 00:01:36,958 - kiddo, could you hurry over to drugs 'n' stuff 41 00:01:36,982 --> 00:01:38,025 and pick up a few rolls? 42 00:01:38,049 --> 00:01:40,061 - i get stuck on the "hurry" part. 43 00:01:40,085 --> 00:01:41,095 - damn it. 44 00:01:41,119 --> 00:01:42,997 how in hell would helen handle this? 45 00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:44,966 "how in hell would helen"... 46 00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:47,735 hey, i bet that's one of those backwards-and-forward things! 47 00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:50,071 no, i guess not. 48 00:01:50,095 --> 00:01:51,605 - i can hear you, you know. 49 00:01:51,629 --> 00:01:53,907 and she'd offer me a bribe. - yeah! 50 00:01:53,931 --> 00:01:55,543 if you can make it back in 15 minutes, 51 00:01:55,567 --> 00:01:57,011 i'll give you five bucks. 52 00:01:57,035 --> 00:01:58,579 - a decent bribe. 53 00:01:58,603 --> 00:02:00,280 - 20! - you're on. 54 00:02:00,304 --> 00:02:02,516 see you in a few minutes. - hurry, kiddo! 55 00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:05,875 this teenage superstars magazine is only 64 pages. 56 00:02:09,147 --> 00:02:10,524 - ten minutes. 57 00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:13,161 i'll never make it home in time to get that 20. 58 00:02:13,185 --> 00:02:15,163 of course, i could always turn back 59 00:02:15,187 --> 00:02:16,630 all the clocks in the house, 60 00:02:16,654 --> 00:02:18,966 but how will i get to his wristwatch? 61 00:02:18,990 --> 00:02:21,169 i wonder if they sell chloroform here. 62 00:02:21,193 --> 00:02:23,137 - next. can i help you, dear? 63 00:02:23,161 --> 00:02:25,940 - no, i just came to enjoy your reenactment 64 00:02:25,964 --> 00:02:27,575 of the fall of saigon. 65 00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:28,710 - you mean the crowd? 66 00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:31,245 well, what do you expect on homecoming night? 67 00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:32,646 - homecoming night? 68 00:02:32,670 --> 00:02:35,204 - everyone in town is lining up to see the parade. 69 00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:41,422 - now, really look inside your work, 70 00:02:41,446 --> 00:02:45,393 and ask, "in focusing so intently on my subject, 71 00:02:45,417 --> 00:02:48,396 have i neglected my negative space?" 72 00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:50,364 daria. have you seen jane? 73 00:02:50,388 --> 00:02:51,632 - not lately. 74 00:02:51,656 --> 00:02:54,168 - i was hoping she might help us paint windows. 75 00:02:54,192 --> 00:02:55,936 we need her color sense. 76 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,972 - cece, i'm going to throw paint on you! 77 00:02:57,996 --> 00:03:00,708 now, gary, don't you dare! 78 00:03:00,732 --> 00:03:03,244 - no, people. treasure your medium. 79 00:03:03,268 --> 00:03:06,914 - must get home. must get home. 80 00:03:11,542 --> 00:03:17,725 ♪ ♪ 81 00:03:19,951 --> 00:03:22,096 ah! 82 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,898 - you'll pay through the nose for that shot, missy... 83 00:03:24,922 --> 00:03:26,734 unless you can give me a plausible reason 84 00:03:26,758 --> 00:03:27,802 for your being here. 85 00:03:27,826 --> 00:03:29,503 - i was having too much fun at home, 86 00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:31,906 so i thought i'd go out and get killed 87 00:03:31,930 --> 00:03:33,875 by an unstable parade float. 88 00:03:33,899 --> 00:03:35,143 - yep, through the nose. 89 00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:36,510 - i'd stay and talk, 90 00:03:36,534 --> 00:03:39,247 but i've got 20 bucks riding on my quick escape. 91 00:03:39,271 --> 00:03:40,447 join me? 92 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,684 - got a date with a thoughtless delinquent. 93 00:03:42,708 --> 00:03:44,285 - you're meeting tom here? 94 00:03:44,309 --> 00:03:46,220 - what better place than a high school homecoming 95 00:03:46,244 --> 00:03:49,557 to chronicle the anarchic death spiral of western society? 96 00:03:49,581 --> 00:03:52,259 - so your date consists of making fun of people. 97 00:03:52,283 --> 00:03:54,562 - if you must be all simplistic about it. 98 00:03:54,586 --> 00:03:56,397 and you're here because... 99 00:03:56,421 --> 00:03:58,733 - my dad sent me on an emergency errand, 100 00:03:58,757 --> 00:04:00,167 and i got stranded. 101 00:04:00,191 --> 00:04:02,202 - i'm betting he's stranded too. 102 00:04:02,226 --> 00:04:03,437 oh, look! 103 00:04:03,461 --> 00:04:05,372 hope you have time for a cheer before you go. 104 00:04:05,396 --> 00:04:08,475 - okay, girls, let's pump up the spirit. 105 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:10,344 who's the team that's number one? 106 00:04:10,368 --> 00:04:11,979 lawndale! lawndale! 107 00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:13,681 who's the team that's lots of fun? 108 00:04:13,705 --> 00:04:15,616 lawndale! lawndale! 109 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:16,717 go... 110 00:04:16,741 --> 00:04:17,784 football! 111 00:04:22,647 --> 00:04:24,325 hmm! 112 00:04:24,349 --> 00:04:27,060 - kevin, maybe we shouldn't be so friendly up here. 113 00:04:27,084 --> 00:04:28,362 - relax, babe. 114 00:04:28,386 --> 00:04:30,431 you're the football sweetheart, and i'm the q.b. 115 00:04:30,455 --> 00:04:32,232 i'm supposed to be touching you and stuff. 116 00:04:32,256 --> 00:04:33,701 it's the law. 117 00:04:33,725 --> 00:04:35,736 - but brittany's my friend, and she's right there. 118 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,805 - hey, we're elected officials. 119 00:04:37,829 --> 00:04:39,707 it's like manifold destiny. 120 00:04:39,731 --> 00:04:40,874 - um, kevin? 121 00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:43,311 we're all supposed to be throwing candy. 122 00:04:43,335 --> 00:04:45,234 - cool! - ouch! 123 00:04:47,138 --> 00:04:49,316 oh, that really hurt! oh, my god. 124 00:04:49,340 --> 00:04:50,317 - check it out; 125 00:04:50,341 --> 00:04:53,453 i'll catch it in my mouth. ow! 126 00:04:53,477 --> 00:04:54,521 - that's it. 127 00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,456 when the candy reaches escape velocity, 128 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,059 it's time to leave. 129 00:04:58,083 --> 00:04:59,493 - where the hell is tom? 130 00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:01,696 he was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago. 131 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,264 - i wouldn't let it bother you. 132 00:05:03,288 --> 00:05:05,666 just because he's a few minutes late doesn't mean 133 00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:07,168 he's an inconsiderate jerk 134 00:05:07,192 --> 00:05:09,403 who will ultimately bring you nothing but misery. 135 00:05:09,427 --> 00:05:11,205 - i'm glad you're starting to warm to him. 136 00:05:11,229 --> 00:05:13,106 - i need to cross this street now 137 00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:15,476 if i want to make it home before the next ice age. 138 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:16,610 see you. 139 00:05:16,634 --> 00:05:20,481 - godspeed, indiana morgendorffer. 140 00:05:20,505 --> 00:05:23,050 - ms. morgendorffer, where do you think you're going? 141 00:05:23,074 --> 00:05:25,819 - slowly insane, but i need to pop in at home first. 142 00:05:25,843 --> 00:05:28,021 - as principal of lawndale high, 143 00:05:28,045 --> 00:05:30,191 i can't just permit spectators to cross a parade route. 144 00:05:30,215 --> 00:05:31,292 - right. 145 00:05:31,316 --> 00:05:33,227 isn't that how world war i started? 146 00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:35,196 - if you were to get impaled on a float 147 00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:36,930 or sexually harassed by a clown, 148 00:05:36,954 --> 00:05:38,065 things could get ugly. 149 00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:39,499 - things already have, 150 00:05:39,523 --> 00:05:42,136 but i don't have time to debate this right now. 151 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,770 - crowd control inadequate. 152 00:05:43,794 --> 00:05:46,873 next year, consider electric fences. 153 00:05:46,897 --> 00:05:49,576 - i can still make it back in time. 154 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,546 all i need is a catapult and a good tailwind. 155 00:05:52,570 --> 00:05:53,847 - rah, rah, rah! 156 00:05:53,871 --> 00:05:55,582 we're number one! 157 00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:58,885 - um, i think the roaring '20s are back that way. 158 00:05:58,909 --> 00:06:01,054 - let's do the lawndale shuffle. 159 00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:04,025 - how about the "get the hell away from me" slide? 160 00:06:06,918 --> 00:06:08,629 - my head's too big. 161 00:06:08,653 --> 00:06:10,898 - that's 'cause it's so full of dreams. 162 00:06:10,922 --> 00:06:11,966 thud! 163 00:06:11,990 --> 00:06:13,701 - rah, rah, rah. 164 00:06:13,725 --> 00:06:15,858 please help me up. 165 00:06:17,896 --> 00:06:19,139 - ms. li's gone. 166 00:06:19,163 --> 00:06:20,841 i'm out of here. 167 00:06:26,905 --> 00:06:28,816 - tad? - daria? 168 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:32,653 oh, daria, i'm scared. 169 00:06:34,679 --> 00:06:35,889 - so am i. 170 00:06:35,913 --> 00:06:37,158 where are your mom and dad? 171 00:06:37,182 --> 00:06:38,292 - i don't know. 172 00:06:38,316 --> 00:06:40,361 i saw a windmill in the toy store window, 173 00:06:40,385 --> 00:06:41,796 so i went to look, 174 00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:44,365 'cause they're such a clean source of energy, 175 00:06:44,389 --> 00:06:47,134 and when i turned around, everyone was gone. 176 00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:50,304 now i'm frightened i'll be stuck in this parade forever. 177 00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:52,640 - i know the feeling. let's find you a cop. 178 00:06:52,664 --> 00:06:54,007 - oh, no. 179 00:06:54,031 --> 00:06:56,911 my dad says police officers too often utilize 180 00:06:56,935 --> 00:07:00,447 excessive force in their quest for efficient pacification. 181 00:07:00,471 --> 00:07:03,251 - and i'm sure your father has had more than his share 182 00:07:03,275 --> 00:07:05,085 of scrapes with john law. 183 00:07:05,109 --> 00:07:08,144 - won't you stay with me, daria? 184 00:07:10,782 --> 00:07:12,960 come on. 185 00:07:12,984 --> 00:07:14,462 much to my surprise, 186 00:07:14,486 --> 00:07:17,164 my conscience tells me i should help you find your parents. 187 00:07:17,188 --> 00:07:18,566 - hooray! 188 00:07:18,590 --> 00:07:21,268 with you along, this'll be an exciting adventure, 189 00:07:21,292 --> 00:07:22,803 like the travels of babar. 190 00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:25,806 - easy on the elephant comparisons, kid. 191 00:07:30,502 --> 00:07:32,301 stupid conscience. 192 00:07:40,812 --> 00:07:42,857 - what's your favorite part of the parade, daria? 193 00:07:42,881 --> 00:07:45,926 - the thigh. no, wait, the drumstick. 194 00:07:45,950 --> 00:07:47,995 - oh. i like the clowns. 195 00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:49,130 - of course you do. 196 00:07:49,154 --> 00:07:51,031 keep looking for your parents. 197 00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:54,034 - i also like it when they throw candy from the floats. 198 00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:56,103 - since when do you eat candy? 199 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,804 you told me it was poison. 200 00:07:57,828 --> 00:08:00,273 - oh, it is, but every piece i catch 201 00:08:00,297 --> 00:08:03,377 is one cavity some other boy or girl will never get. 202 00:08:03,401 --> 00:08:05,713 that's what makes it so rewarding. 203 00:08:05,737 --> 00:08:07,848 - tad, when you brush your teeth, 204 00:08:07,872 --> 00:08:09,883 do you ever scrub right through to your brain? 205 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,285 - oh, look! 206 00:08:11,309 --> 00:08:16,056 do you think he'll be throwing candy from his car? 207 00:08:17,716 --> 00:08:20,561 - no, that car has things thrown at it. 208 00:08:20,585 --> 00:08:22,163 - do my eyes deceive me? 209 00:08:22,187 --> 00:08:24,198 the divine ms. mmm. 210 00:08:24,222 --> 00:08:26,800 and who, may i ask, is your young suitor? 211 00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:29,837 - i'm not supposed to give my name to strange people. 212 00:08:29,861 --> 00:08:32,172 - and they don't come any stranger than this. 213 00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:33,808 - so quick to dismiss. 214 00:08:33,832 --> 00:08:36,811 i like that... for a while. 215 00:08:36,835 --> 00:08:38,212 but you'll change your tune 216 00:08:38,236 --> 00:08:40,314 when you see what i've done with the back seat. 217 00:08:40,338 --> 00:08:43,284 does the notion of satin upholstery get you excited? 218 00:08:43,308 --> 00:08:45,218 - sure, if it's lining your coffin. 219 00:08:45,242 --> 00:08:47,654 feisty! 220 00:08:47,678 --> 00:08:50,690 i'll be parked at the end of the parade route, gorgeous. 221 00:08:50,714 --> 00:08:53,594 so remember, if the love machine's rocking, 222 00:08:53,618 --> 00:08:56,730 by all means, come a-knocking! 223 00:08:58,956 --> 00:09:00,000 - daria? 224 00:09:00,024 --> 00:09:02,136 - oh. tom. 225 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,104 aren't you supposed to be with jane? 226 00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:06,473 she was waiting for you in front of drugs 'n' stuff. 227 00:09:06,497 --> 00:09:07,574 - oh. 228 00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:09,043 she just said to meet at the pharmacy; 229 00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,444 i thought she meant the other one. 230 00:09:10,468 --> 00:09:12,412 i guess it was just a big misunderstanding. 231 00:09:12,436 --> 00:09:14,214 - that's what pol pot said. 232 00:09:14,238 --> 00:09:16,183 - he didn't mean to kill 2 million people; 233 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,252 he only wanted to scare them. 234 00:09:18,276 --> 00:09:20,520 anyway, who's this? - tad. 235 00:09:20,544 --> 00:09:21,855 former baby-sitting job. 236 00:09:21,879 --> 00:09:23,924 he's lost, and we're looking for his parents. 237 00:09:23,948 --> 00:09:25,793 - hiya, tad. i'm tom. 238 00:09:25,817 --> 00:09:27,360 mind if i tag along with you guys? 239 00:09:27,384 --> 00:09:29,129 - actually, we'd be better off... 240 00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:31,531 - we're both headed back toward drugs 'n' stuff. 241 00:09:31,555 --> 00:09:33,267 we can help each other. 242 00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:35,536 - if you really want to walk with us, fine, 243 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,438 but i don't think you'll find jane. 244 00:09:37,462 --> 00:09:39,673 i've never seen this street so crowded before. 245 00:09:39,697 --> 00:09:41,375 - it is a stunning array of pod people. 246 00:09:41,399 --> 00:09:43,544 it's times like these i'm glad i don't go to your school. 247 00:09:43,568 --> 00:09:44,945 - uh-huh. 248 00:09:44,969 --> 00:09:48,115 and i suppose your ivy-choked prep school is any better. 249 00:09:48,139 --> 00:09:49,116 wait a minute. 250 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:51,118 was i just defending lawndale? 251 00:09:51,142 --> 00:09:52,319 - you know, i think you were. 252 00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:54,421 - we never had this conversation. 253 00:09:54,445 --> 00:09:56,190 - what conversation? 254 00:09:56,214 --> 00:09:59,393 - all this waving is making my arm tired. 255 00:09:59,417 --> 00:10:01,161 isn't there something else we can do? 256 00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:03,397 - there was, until someone 257 00:10:03,421 --> 00:10:05,532 handed out all our head shots at once. 258 00:10:05,556 --> 00:10:06,634 - i didn't mean to. 259 00:10:06,658 --> 00:10:08,936 oh, i should have paced myself better. 260 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,038 - we should do something that showcases 261 00:10:11,062 --> 00:10:13,373 our, like, charity and stuff. 262 00:10:13,397 --> 00:10:14,675 - perhaps we could select 263 00:10:14,699 --> 00:10:16,810 a less fortunate girl from the audience 264 00:10:16,834 --> 00:10:18,112 and give her a makeover. 265 00:10:18,136 --> 00:10:20,681 - that is such a good idea, sandi. 266 00:10:20,705 --> 00:10:22,483 - maybe we should hop a float. 267 00:10:22,507 --> 00:10:24,151 we could see more people that way, 268 00:10:24,175 --> 00:10:25,653 and more people could see us. 269 00:10:25,677 --> 00:10:27,821 i don't hop floats. 270 00:10:27,845 --> 00:10:29,457 i don't hop. 271 00:10:29,481 --> 00:10:30,558 - come on, daria. 272 00:10:30,582 --> 00:10:32,159 you gotta embrace the nightmare. 273 00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:33,827 don't you want to wave to the crowd? 274 00:10:33,851 --> 00:10:35,529 - look, tom, i know that you and jane 275 00:10:35,553 --> 00:10:37,298 see this whole thing as a big joke, 276 00:10:37,322 --> 00:10:39,467 but that's not me. 277 00:10:40,625 --> 00:10:42,235 i stand corrected. 278 00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:44,738 this whole thing is a big joke. 279 00:10:44,762 --> 00:10:46,140 - um, quinn? 280 00:10:46,164 --> 00:10:49,743 isn't that your relative or whatever walking toward us? 281 00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:51,011 - oh, no. 282 00:10:51,035 --> 00:10:53,113 okay, we need to speed up now. 283 00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:55,983 - okay, pull harder. ow, my back! 284 00:10:56,007 --> 00:10:58,352 - this is perfect. 285 00:10:58,376 --> 00:11:00,588 we can make her over. 286 00:11:00,612 --> 00:11:04,425 - wow! the crowd will be amazed. 287 00:11:04,449 --> 00:11:06,460 - wait, not that float. 288 00:11:06,484 --> 00:11:08,128 - daria, come on! 289 00:11:08,152 --> 00:11:09,996 don't leave me. 290 00:11:11,822 --> 00:11:14,056 daria! 291 00:11:15,827 --> 00:11:17,171 - okay, we looked. 292 00:11:17,195 --> 00:11:18,872 now, let's get down before... 293 00:11:18,896 --> 00:11:20,841 - we'll need to apply some base. 294 00:11:20,865 --> 00:11:22,276 but first some pre-base. 295 00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:23,878 - do you want to use my scrunchie? 296 00:11:23,902 --> 00:11:25,545 please use my scrunchie. 297 00:11:25,569 --> 00:11:30,918 - i'll take the "before" picture. 298 00:11:30,942 --> 00:11:33,853 - call them off, or i start hugging you. 299 00:11:33,877 --> 00:11:34,921 - you wouldn't dare! 300 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,891 - try me. 301 00:11:36,915 --> 00:11:39,059 - isn't it great how they keep electing us 302 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:41,262 homecoming king and queen every year? 303 00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:43,663 - yes, it's such a generous and enlightened gesture. 304 00:11:43,687 --> 00:11:45,199 it completely makes up 305 00:11:45,223 --> 00:11:47,667 for the town's utter lack of diversity, in my mind. 306 00:11:47,691 --> 00:11:48,903 - and we're playing into it. 307 00:11:48,927 --> 00:11:50,204 - damn college applications. 308 00:11:50,228 --> 00:11:51,839 - this is so humiliating. 309 00:11:51,863 --> 00:11:55,309 - this is so humiliating! let go of me! 310 00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:57,911 - not until she holsters that hair spray. 311 00:11:57,935 --> 00:12:00,347 - um, quinn's cousin or whatever? 312 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,549 could you just let us pull your hair back? 313 00:12:02,573 --> 00:12:04,084 it won't, like, hurt. 314 00:12:04,108 --> 00:12:07,754 - that product was tested on bunnies and kitties. 315 00:12:07,778 --> 00:12:09,757 - it was? - duh. 316 00:12:09,781 --> 00:12:11,224 that's why we use it... 317 00:12:11,248 --> 00:12:14,094 so those cute animals didn't suffer in vain. 318 00:12:14,118 --> 00:12:15,195 - oh. 319 00:12:15,219 --> 00:12:16,830 - you're a mean old witch. 320 00:12:16,854 --> 00:12:18,599 - i am not old. - you're mean. 321 00:12:18,623 --> 00:12:19,733 - i am not old... 322 00:12:19,757 --> 00:12:21,334 - quinn, your friend and her friends 323 00:12:21,358 --> 00:12:23,003 aren't getting into the spirit. 324 00:12:23,027 --> 00:12:24,638 - they shouldn't even be up here. 325 00:12:24,662 --> 00:12:25,839 - there's a news flash. 326 00:12:25,863 --> 00:12:27,607 we're looking for tad's parents. 327 00:12:27,631 --> 00:12:28,675 have you seen them? 328 00:12:28,699 --> 00:12:30,444 - no. now, get down. 329 00:12:30,468 --> 00:12:33,080 - come on, tad. enough of this ivory tower. 330 00:12:33,104 --> 00:12:34,381 back to the streets. 331 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:37,084 - you don't respect other species' rights. 332 00:12:37,108 --> 00:12:39,074 - shove it, veggie boy. 333 00:12:40,678 --> 00:12:44,191 - that girl just doesn't know what's good for her. 334 00:12:44,215 --> 00:12:46,126 - tell me about it. 335 00:12:46,150 --> 00:12:47,594 - wait till i tell my parents 336 00:12:47,618 --> 00:12:52,532 i was on a real live float and i met an animal abuser. 337 00:12:52,556 --> 00:12:53,767 - uh-oh. 338 00:12:53,791 --> 00:12:56,370 the animals are about to exact their revenge. 339 00:12:56,394 --> 00:12:58,872 - here we go, lawndale! here we go! 340 00:12:58,896 --> 00:13:01,808 - didn't i just leave you for dead a while ago? 341 00:13:01,832 --> 00:13:02,809 beat it. 342 00:13:02,833 --> 00:13:04,778 - come on, let's have a cheer! 343 00:13:04,802 --> 00:13:06,213 - she said beat it, leo. 344 00:13:06,237 --> 00:13:07,314 - wow. 345 00:13:07,338 --> 00:13:08,815 that was the modern equivalent 346 00:13:08,839 --> 00:13:11,252 of laying your cape over a puddle of water for me. 347 00:13:11,276 --> 00:13:13,053 - well, i don't know you well enough 348 00:13:13,077 --> 00:13:14,555 to wear my cape around you. 349 00:13:14,579 --> 00:13:17,791 wait a minute; was that a smile i just saw? 350 00:13:17,815 --> 00:13:18,959 - a twitch. 351 00:13:18,983 --> 00:13:20,560 more of a tic, really. 352 00:13:20,584 --> 00:13:22,796 - i knew you were having fun. why hide it? 353 00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:24,765 you need to learn how to laugh out loud 354 00:13:24,789 --> 00:13:26,800 at the ridiculous horror of all this. 355 00:13:26,824 --> 00:13:28,335 look, cheerleaders! 356 00:13:28,359 --> 00:13:30,236 - the lions can't be beat! 357 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:31,872 they're lightning on their feet! 358 00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:34,040 they're the best team on our street 359 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:37,977 or lots of other streets. he touched her butt. 360 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:39,279 did anyone else see? 361 00:13:39,303 --> 00:13:40,614 he touched her butt! 362 00:13:40,638 --> 00:13:42,882 okay, mr. busy hands. 363 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,518 let's see how your team does 364 00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:47,409 without cheerleaders to back you up. 365 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,924 - uh-oh! 366 00:13:50,948 --> 00:13:52,226 - they're coming right for us! 367 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:53,827 turn, turn! 368 00:13:53,851 --> 00:13:56,786 - it's not designed to turn so fast. 369 00:14:04,161 --> 00:14:05,572 - wow. 370 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:07,140 - it's like the hindenburg. 371 00:14:07,164 --> 00:14:10,510 - oh, the lack of humanity. 372 00:14:14,939 --> 00:14:16,783 - this is magnificent. 373 00:14:16,807 --> 00:14:19,253 when homecoming parades turn hellish. 374 00:14:19,277 --> 00:14:21,187 - now aren't you glad you were here to see this? 375 00:14:21,211 --> 00:14:22,989 - well, i definitely understand 376 00:14:23,013 --> 00:14:25,526 why you wanted to share this with jane. 377 00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:26,727 sorry you never hooked up. 378 00:14:26,751 --> 00:14:27,927 - it's okay. 379 00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,063 by now she'd be so busy snapping pictures, 380 00:14:30,087 --> 00:14:31,531 she'd forget i was even here. 381 00:14:31,555 --> 00:14:32,632 you know how she is. 382 00:14:32,656 --> 00:14:34,368 - yeah, i know how she is. 383 00:14:34,392 --> 00:14:37,036 - thanks for getting lost in the moment with me. 384 00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:39,673 - um, you're welcome? 385 00:14:39,697 --> 00:14:40,774 - heh. 386 00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:42,776 what do you think of all this, tad? 387 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,178 tad? tad? 388 00:14:45,202 --> 00:14:47,080 - oh, no. - he couldn't have gone far. 389 00:14:47,104 --> 00:14:48,771 - did we pass any windmills? 390 00:14:56,681 --> 00:14:58,292 - tad? tad gupty? 391 00:14:58,316 --> 00:14:59,760 - i was holding his hand last, daria. 392 00:14:59,784 --> 00:15:00,994 i'll take responsibility. 393 00:15:01,018 --> 00:15:02,796 - maybe we should start waving again. 394 00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:04,598 - why play into this stupid charade 395 00:15:04,622 --> 00:15:05,732 any more than we have to? 396 00:15:05,756 --> 00:15:07,200 - we don't have to do anything. 397 00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:09,068 hell, we don't have to be up here. 398 00:15:09,092 --> 00:15:10,504 - that's actually a good point. 399 00:15:10,528 --> 00:15:12,928 what's the worst they could do to us? 400 00:15:17,401 --> 00:15:18,378 - what happened? 401 00:15:18,402 --> 00:15:19,779 - oh, what the hell. 402 00:15:19,803 --> 00:15:22,249 we may be tokens, but we're damn good-looking ones. 403 00:15:22,273 --> 00:15:23,650 - can't argue with that. 404 00:15:23,674 --> 00:15:25,719 hey, is that daria? 405 00:15:25,743 --> 00:15:28,088 - what's she doing at a homecoming parade? 406 00:15:28,112 --> 00:15:30,223 - tad? tad? 407 00:15:30,247 --> 00:15:31,892 i can't believe this. 408 00:15:31,916 --> 00:15:33,026 - hey, it could be worse. 409 00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:34,127 - let's see. 410 00:15:34,151 --> 00:15:35,361 in the past half-hour, 411 00:15:35,385 --> 00:15:37,898 i've lost the chance to make 20 bucks, 412 00:15:37,922 --> 00:15:40,333 lost my dignity on a float, and, oh, yeah, 413 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,402 i lost a seven-year-old child. 414 00:15:42,426 --> 00:15:44,738 - weren't you also carrying some toilet paper before? 415 00:15:44,762 --> 00:15:47,607 - yeah. okay, now i'm angry. 416 00:15:47,631 --> 00:15:48,842 - daria! tom! 417 00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:50,611 i found my parents. 418 00:15:50,635 --> 00:15:51,979 they were looking for me. 419 00:15:52,003 --> 00:15:54,047 - of course we were looking for you, honey. 420 00:15:54,071 --> 00:15:55,415 we were so worried. 421 00:15:55,439 --> 00:15:58,652 daria, tad told us all about how you stayed with him. 422 00:15:58,676 --> 00:16:00,153 - how can we ever repay you? 423 00:16:00,177 --> 00:16:02,289 - i hear uncut diamonds are as good as cash 424 00:16:02,313 --> 00:16:03,756 on the open market. 425 00:16:05,216 --> 00:16:07,294 - yes, well, thank you, daria. 426 00:16:07,318 --> 00:16:08,595 the next time you baby-sit, 427 00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:10,463 we'll be sure to have some extra carrot sticks 428 00:16:10,487 --> 00:16:12,065 in the fridge just for you. 429 00:16:12,089 --> 00:16:13,934 - come on, honey. daria here is a hero. 430 00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:15,902 i say we get her some dried fruit. 431 00:16:15,926 --> 00:16:17,637 - my cup runneth over. 432 00:16:17,661 --> 00:16:20,440 - mom, dad! we're missing the parade. 433 00:16:20,464 --> 00:16:22,575 - well, i guess we'd better find a good spot. 434 00:16:22,599 --> 00:16:23,977 thanks again, daria. 435 00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:27,514 - um, this is where i saw jane before, 436 00:16:27,538 --> 00:16:28,781 but she's not here now. 437 00:16:28,805 --> 00:16:29,916 - we've done what we can. 438 00:16:29,940 --> 00:16:31,251 i wouldn't stress about it. 439 00:16:31,275 --> 00:16:32,652 we're having a good time, right? 440 00:16:32,676 --> 00:16:34,655 - help... me! 441 00:16:34,679 --> 00:16:36,389 - not you again. - remember us? 442 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,958 we're the ones who don't enjoy your hilarious antics. 443 00:16:38,982 --> 00:16:41,694 - can't... breathe. - what's he saying? 444 00:16:41,718 --> 00:16:45,732 - it's either "canned beef" or "can't breathe." 445 00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:47,901 the latter. 446 00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:51,238 - hello? where am i? oh. 447 00:16:51,262 --> 00:16:53,106 - i can't believe it. it's mr. o'neill. 448 00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:54,941 - and he would have gotten away with it 449 00:16:54,965 --> 00:16:56,409 if it weren't for us meddling kids. 450 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,610 - oh, my. 451 00:16:57,634 --> 00:17:01,214 whenever i cut loose, i always go overboard. 452 00:17:01,238 --> 00:17:02,882 oh. 453 00:17:02,906 --> 00:17:05,319 - get going! - we can't. 454 00:17:05,343 --> 00:17:06,787 - the parade stopped moving again. 455 00:17:06,811 --> 00:17:08,622 - we can't just stay here forever. 456 00:17:08,646 --> 00:17:11,391 the same people have been staring at us for too long. 457 00:17:11,415 --> 00:17:13,961 - it's like looking into the sun. 458 00:17:13,985 --> 00:17:16,029 it's, like, really pretty, 459 00:17:16,053 --> 00:17:20,433 but if you do it for too long, you get wrinkles. 460 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:22,402 - yeah. it kind of hurts too. 461 00:17:22,426 --> 00:17:25,894 - move! move, you big, ugly vehicles! 462 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,478 - ew! 463 00:17:31,502 --> 00:17:32,746 - this is gross. 464 00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:33,846 - ugh! 465 00:17:33,870 --> 00:17:35,882 - i don't understand. 466 00:17:35,906 --> 00:17:37,650 maybe the electric blanket 467 00:17:37,674 --> 00:17:39,419 is putting undue stress on the battery. 468 00:17:39,443 --> 00:17:42,222 - i don't care what your excuse is, don guano. 469 00:17:42,246 --> 00:17:44,491 you need to roll this car out of the way right now. 470 00:17:44,515 --> 00:17:47,594 - that's the spirit. let your blood boil. 471 00:17:47,618 --> 00:17:48,828 - you're holding up the parade. 472 00:17:48,852 --> 00:17:50,730 now, get out of here, or we put on the cuffs. 473 00:17:50,754 --> 00:17:54,067 feisty. 474 00:17:54,091 --> 00:17:56,269 ow! 475 00:17:56,293 --> 00:17:58,504 ah! 476 00:17:58,528 --> 00:17:59,706 - they're gonna kill him. 477 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,708 - let's not get our hopes up. 478 00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:08,447 - thanks, daria. it's for the yearbook. 479 00:18:08,471 --> 00:18:11,017 i'm getting some really great pictures of couples tonight. 480 00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:12,185 - no, ted, we're not a... 481 00:18:12,209 --> 00:18:13,452 - i don't even go to this school. 482 00:18:13,476 --> 00:18:15,655 - well, it's about stinking time. 483 00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,724 - we've been looking all over for you. 484 00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:19,292 - what do you mean, "been looking"? 485 00:18:19,316 --> 00:18:21,161 - tom and i ran into each other. 486 00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:23,196 we've been up and down the entire parade route. 487 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,398 - together? and yet no torn clothes? 488 00:18:25,422 --> 00:18:27,600 no blood? no missing organs? 489 00:18:27,624 --> 00:18:29,569 - no, we got along pretty well. 490 00:18:29,593 --> 00:18:30,704 right, daria? 491 00:18:30,728 --> 00:18:32,205 - right, i guess. 492 00:18:32,229 --> 00:18:33,873 - i said to meet at drugs 'n' stuff. 493 00:18:33,897 --> 00:18:35,508 where were you, you big dope? 494 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,243 - no, you said at the pharmacy. 495 00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:39,279 - he was at the other one, waiting for you. 496 00:18:39,303 --> 00:18:41,548 that's where i met him... ran into him. 497 00:18:41,572 --> 00:18:43,183 - mm, i tried there too. 498 00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,652 you guys must have left before i got there, i guess. 499 00:18:45,676 --> 00:18:47,487 - i guess. - well, come on. 500 00:18:47,511 --> 00:18:50,345 let's get some pizza and compare battle scars. 501 00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:55,195 come on, daria. 502 00:18:55,219 --> 00:18:56,730 - oh, my gosh! this is so much fun! 503 00:18:56,754 --> 00:18:58,965 oops, sorry. 504 00:18:58,989 --> 00:19:01,033 - we're having a paint fight. whoo! 505 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,303 - oh, no, civilian casualties. 506 00:19:03,327 --> 00:19:04,805 you look great, daria. 507 00:19:04,829 --> 00:19:06,039 - i can't believe this. 508 00:19:06,063 --> 00:19:07,340 are you okay? - i'm... 509 00:19:07,364 --> 00:19:08,442 - here, take my jacket. 510 00:19:08,466 --> 00:19:10,844 wish i'd worn my cape. - huh? 511 00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:11,945 - no, i'm fine. 512 00:19:11,969 --> 00:19:13,614 really, i've always wanted 513 00:19:13,638 --> 00:19:15,515 an amazing technicolor dreamcoat. 514 00:19:15,539 --> 00:19:17,584 - i've trained her well. never fear paint. 515 00:19:17,608 --> 00:19:18,719 - come on, daria. 516 00:19:18,743 --> 00:19:20,053 we'll stop by your house, 517 00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:22,022 and you can shower and change before we head out. 518 00:19:22,046 --> 00:19:23,523 - no, come out like that, daria. 519 00:19:23,547 --> 00:19:24,891 shake up your image. 520 00:19:24,915 --> 00:19:27,126 - you know, why don't you two just go on ahead? 521 00:19:27,150 --> 00:19:29,128 i think i'll skip the pizza tonight. 522 00:19:29,152 --> 00:19:31,464 i need to go talk to pharaoh about his dreams. 523 00:19:31,488 --> 00:19:33,300 - aw, come on. - yeah, come on, daria. 524 00:19:33,324 --> 00:19:35,001 - i'm kind of beat. 525 00:19:35,025 --> 00:19:36,936 - okay, see you around. 526 00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,993 - i'll call you later. 527 00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:45,545 - well, i never would have believed it. 528 00:19:45,569 --> 00:19:46,946 look at you, daria, 529 00:19:46,970 --> 00:19:49,382 all decked out in the lawndale colors. 530 00:19:49,406 --> 00:19:51,485 i knew if you just gave school spirit a chance, 531 00:19:51,509 --> 00:19:52,819 you'd like it. 532 00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:54,053 go, lawndale! 533 00:19:54,077 --> 00:19:55,321 right, daria? 534 00:19:55,345 --> 00:19:57,356 see you in class. 535 00:19:57,380 --> 00:19:59,314 - rah. 536 00:20:00,451 --> 00:20:01,795 - daria? 537 00:20:01,819 --> 00:20:03,095 daria? 538 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,699 please come home, daria. 539 00:20:05,723 --> 00:20:08,234 come on; i've read this article about the olsen twins 540 00:20:08,258 --> 00:20:09,836 five times. 541 00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:12,605 i knew i should've made it 30 bucks. 542 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:13,740 damn it! 543 00:20:13,764 --> 00:20:16,442 35736

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