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1
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:42,342
[phone ringing]
2
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,543
(Answering maching)
Hi, leave me a message
3
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,213
or text me like a normal person.
4
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:47,114
[beep]
5
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,248
Hey, it's me.
6
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:52,419
Um... I just have a quick
question for you, um...
7
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:55,155
So if you...
8
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:57,324
if you see somebody
murder someone,
9
00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:59,526
and you don't turn in the person
who did the murdering,
10
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:00,861
what happens to you,
11
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,397
or what happens to like,
you and your friends
12
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:06,433
do you...
do you like, go to jail?
13
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,635
Call me as soon as you can.
14
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:15,575
I am so proud of you.
15
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:18,178
You've only been
on your own for one week
16
00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:21,581
and you're already making
a connection with him.
17
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:22,683
See. I told you
18
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:25,319
that you were
going to do great.
19
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:30,590
Just, y'know,
stay away from animals.
20
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:34,294
He would hunt down these
women and he would kill them.
21
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,830
Then he would skin them
22
00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:40,767
and sew their skins together
into a kind of skin suit.
23
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:41,568
Hannibal Lecter!
24
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,002
Leatherface!
25
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:42,869
Wynonna Judd!
26
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,571
-No.. No, the other one-
-Ashley Judd!
27
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:45,505
No, not the other Judd.
28
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,940
The other guy from
Silence of the Lambs!
29
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:49,209
First name
is an animal name...
30
00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:49,876
Buffalo Bill!
31
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,278
Yes!
32
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,346
Come on! Next one.
33
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,447
Keep going Joe, you gotta
have those papers ready.
34
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,581
Go, go, go.
35
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:55,916
I have no idea who this is..
36
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,685
Oh my God.
37
00:01:58,719 --> 00:01:59,753
Are you an idiot?
38
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,654
No...
39
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,389
She played Jenna on
30 Rock
{end-italic}.
40
00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:03,857
Oh yeah,
and she was in
Vacation.
41
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:04,858
She kissed her Dad!
42
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,727
The Chevy Chase vacation movie
is about incest?
43
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,928
No - that's Juliette Lewis.
She sucks his thumb.
44
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,764
No, no, no, Juliette Lewis
is in
Christmas Vacation
45
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,466
-I've never seen that.
-What?
46
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,501
Oh. It's SO good.
You HAVE to see it.
47
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:17,270
Andy, do you still have that
DVD we stole from that cabin?
48
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,071
That was such a fun trip.
49
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,707
I'm still so mad
I missed that trip
50
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,377
because of that asshole Tom
who stood me up.
51
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,679
His tinder profile even
said, "I'm an asshole."
52
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,382
Well, when people tell you
who they are, believe them.
53
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:29,816
Oprah.
54
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:34,788
Joe, are you
still gonna go?
55
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,324
I think it's your
turn still...
56
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,592
Oh, I didn't know
we were still playing.
57
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:39,826
Ah,
Cape Fear
{end-italic}.
58
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,496
That's the movie Juliette Lewis
puts something in her mouth,
59
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:44,264
it's Robert De Niro's thumb.
60
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,266
(Emma)
You know what's crazy,
I've never seen that either.
61
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:47,367
(Cameron)
Oh my God.
62
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:48,201
Give me a minute,
63
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,636
let me just
write down all of these.
64
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,572
Wait,
Cape Fear
{end-italic}is not like
a killer/slasher thing, right?
65
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,974
Oh, no, no, no, I can't watch
those kind of movies.
66
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,742
Movies like that
are so bullshit,
67
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,978
the killer's are almost always
someone the victim knows.
68
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:58,845
[timer dings]
69
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,814
Okay, let's reset
the timer for Joe.
70
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,715
Can we stop for one second.
71
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,683
I don't really know
what's happening?
72
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,786
We're starting the timer over
because these crazies
73
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,454
won't stop
interrupting the game.
74
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:08,622
You love it.
75
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,658
I'm gonna go for Joe since
he doesn't know celebrities.
76
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,459
Okay Joe?
77
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:13,994
Could we just
stop for a second?
78
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,695
-Who's timing me?
-I am. Go.
79
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,329
This is just really confusing.
80
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,898
Tiny weird looking woman,
81
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,333
-won an Oscar...
-Linda Hunt!
82
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,836
Sorry, Andy and I have
this Linda Hunt thing...
83
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:23,970
I fucking love her...
84
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,806
A 90's talk show host.
85
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,274
Jesus Christ,
that could be ANYBODY.
86
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,642
-Rosie O'Donnell.
-No.
87
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:29,676
-Ricki Lake.
-No.
88
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,778
.Sally Jesse Raphael.
-No.
89
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,281
You know, it's RAY-phi-el.
90
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:37,951
-Barbara Walters?
-90's talk show host!
91
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,287
It's RAW-phi-el
92
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,890
No I am 100% positive it is
Sally Jesse RAY-phauel!
93
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,792
Cameron, you need
to be less certain
94
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,027
because it's RAW-phi-el.
95
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,563
Ok, I think we're
done with this game?
96
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,032
One idiot player on a team
can kinda ruin the whole game.
97
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,567
(Emma)
Wow.
98
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,636
I told you
I'd be terrible at this.
99
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,438
You were pretty bad.
100
00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,906
Let's get a refill.
Anyone?
101
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,875
Oh yeah,
just bring the whole bottle.
102
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:07,614
Jenny Jones, of course.
103
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:08,882
Emma that's your handwriting.
104
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,450
Yeah, I wrote this clue.
105
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,353
It got really
aggressive in there.
106
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:14,688
They're being funny.
107
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,724
Well how am I suppose
to know all this stuff?
108
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,327
Look, the whole attacking
each other thing is just
109
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,896
their way of showing
that they like you.
110
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,098
Man, Joe is so handsome.
111
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:26,633
So handsome.
112
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:27,734
Is he?
113
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,102
I was so busy with the game
I didn't really notice.
114
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:31,505
Andy seems to really like him.
115
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:34,441
Really? Did he say that?
116
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,543
Maybe just smile more.
117
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:37,944
Make them laugh.
118
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,346
Joke.
119
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,381
I don't really joke.
120
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,550
What do you mean?
121
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:45,619
I don't joke.
122
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,723
Okay.
123
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:50,924
Is this weird?
124
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,058
What?
125
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,693
Andy's new boyfriend.
126
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,996
It's been six dates,
they're not boyfriends.
127
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:56,863
Are they?
128
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,666
Okay, so clearly
this is weird for you.
129
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:01,034
Can we not do this, okay?
130
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,103
Aww Louis,
I loved you guys together.
131
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,972
I know, you guys
were so good together.
132
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:07,908
I don't think they like me.
133
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,479
Of course they like you.
134
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,047
You're gorgeous.
135
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,483
Mmmm.
136
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,385
Okay...
137
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:21,388
I think I know what'll
make you feel better.
138
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,522
Hold on a second
139
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,127
What are you doing?
140
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,529
I'm giving you my sexy look.
141
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,965
Oh.
142
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,769
Y'know, we've been
dating for a week,
143
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:39,139
and we haven't had sex yet.
144
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,141
That's kind of a first for me.
145
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,143
Because I'm a slut.
146
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:50,150
Well, I told you,
I have to take things slow.
147
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:57,023
I recognize that sexy look now.
148
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,692
Come here.
149
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:00,860
You have people here.
150
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,063
They don't care
if we slip away for a second.
151
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,197
They're in Broadway mode.
152
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,432
(Cameron)
Patti Lupone!
153
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,400
I say we wait.
154
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,140
Okay. Fine.
155
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,875
But tonight's the night.
156
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,712
For what?
157
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:21,481
You're not going
to make me wait any longer.
158
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,186
Tonight you are all mine.
159
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:30,190
If I ever get a boyfriend,
160
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,727
I'm going to do whatever
it takes to make it work.
161
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,629
I'll never give up.
162
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,765
I'll never give up.
163
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,935
What are you guys
doing in there?...
164
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,603
Hey can I play
my new song for you?
165
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,105
You know what,
now is not a good time.
166
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,706
Did I tell you about
my new script idea?
167
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,574
I don't think so.
168
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,508
Yeah, you don't
know anything about it.
169
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,844
Okay, so anyway it's amazing.
Okay so...
170
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:53,046
The movie opens with this woman.
171
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,749
She's driving her car,
and she's like rockin' out
172
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:56,816
to some christian music.
173
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,551
She's like reallly
getting into it.
174
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,120
And then she drives by this car
175
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,855
with all these
people outside of it.
176
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,891
And the audience should get
the sense that something is off
177
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,960
because the people
are acting really weird.
178
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,262
But this woman
is totally oblivious.
179
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,531
Because... Well, okay,
what the audience doesn't know
180
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:14,567
is that this woman is actually
in an abusive relationship.
181
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,835
-Oh my God.
-And... yeah.
182
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,637
Because she was like
married when she was 15,
183
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,540
and her dominating husband
used to beat her.
184
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:23,543
But now, he's really old
and sick, and bed-ridden,
185
00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:25,545
and um, she has
to take care of him.
186
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:28,782
When the car pulls up
on the side of the road...
187
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,517
I'm totally
picturing Lily Tomlin.
188
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,519
Oh, you know,
that would be great.
189
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:33,553
-Yeah?
-Yeah, Yeah.
190
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,155
-Okay, so she pulls over...
-Do you know her?
191
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,223
Mmmm, we've...
been at events.
192
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:41,194
But, when the car pulls up
on the side of the road...
193
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:42,829
I found Joe
hoarding the wine.
194
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,564
I don't even drink.
195
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:45,298
You don't drink?
196
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,266
No.
197
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,233
I'll take that.
198
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,601
You're not in AA are you?
199
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,703
No.
200
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:50,603
Thank God.
201
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,105
I could never date
anyone who's in AA.
202
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:52,806
I know.
203
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:53,740
No fun.
204
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,743
Those people are
incredibly self-obsessed.
205
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:57,844
Yeah.
206
00:07:57,877 --> 00:08:00,747
♪
207
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,729
[laughing]
208
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,232
♪
209
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,642
[soft moans]
210
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,284
Let's take this off,
come on.
211
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:52,732
I'm sorry.
212
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,900
What?
213
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,936
I don't know
if I'm ready for this?
214
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,304
You're kidding, come on.
215
00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,639
No.
216
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,074
I'm not.
217
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,278
You don't want
to have sex with me?
218
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,348
No.
219
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,850
Not right now.
220
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:15,255
We've been dating...
221
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,857
I'm patient.
222
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:22,929
I've been patient, Joe,
but this is fucking crazy.
223
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,697
It isn't crazy.
224
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,132
What is wrong with you?
225
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,372
I don't think I love you.
226
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,274
Love?
227
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,643
I don't need you to love me.
228
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,612
I just need you to put your
fucking dick in my ass.
229
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,649
I'm feeling weird.
230
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,651
Are you like,
home-schooled or something?
231
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,786
No.
232
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,088
Do you have an STD?
233
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,057
God, you don't like, have warts
or something do you?
234
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:51,925
No.
235
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:55,395
Then what the fuck
is wrong with you?
236
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,064
You're being
kind of a dick here.
237
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:01,134
What are you into?
238
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,970
I will do whatever you want.
239
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,406
Joe,
240
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,843
I will do
anything that you want.
241
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,046
Anything.
242
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,416
I don't know...
243
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,484
Oh come on.
244
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:21,087
There's got to be something
that you want to do.
245
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,755
Huh?
246
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:25,825
Yeah.
247
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,761
That feeling you're
feeling right now.
248
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,197
Just let it take you over.
249
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,835
Release the beast within.
250
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,240
Really?
251
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,444
That thing that
you want to do -
252
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,079
do it to me.
253
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:53,052
Well there's this one thing...
254
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,087
Okay.
255
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,690
Wha...
256
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,195
Well you forgot your shoes!
257
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:12,105
♪
258
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,001
Welcome to
259
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,770
People I want to...
[door closing]
260
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:47,440
Joe?
261
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,777
[noises in other room]
262
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:56,482
Joe?
263
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,507
[Joe's phone ringing]
264
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,876
Joe?
265
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,511
[phone continues ringing]
266
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,251
What the fuck?
267
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,388
[plastic crinkles]
268
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,259
Oh...
269
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,229
So this is what you're into?
270
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:46,966
Kinky.
271
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:48,968
This isn't going to
fuck up the floors, is it?
272
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,070
Because this is actually
my friend Eric's place,
273
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,939
he just lets me stay here.
274
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,875
He has a Golden Globe
for
Roseanne
{end-italic}.
275
00:12:55,908 --> 00:13:00,246
It's funny, I thought
this was your first time.
276
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,148
It is.
277
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,184
Come over here.
278
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,559
So...
279
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,396
what's the plastic for?
280
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,931
It's so your blood
doesn't get everywhere.
281
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,533
My blood?
282
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:24,203
♪
283
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,287
Did you just fucking stab me?
284
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:46,492
♪
285
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,086
[thud]
286
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:32,171
[screaming]
287
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,925
[breathing heavily]
288
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,104
Kill.
289
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:06,205
Thank you for
picking me up ma'am.
290
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,342
Of course dear, what lonely
woman wouldn't pick up
291
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:12,111
a strange man from
the side of the road.
292
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,680
I don't mean to be rude,
293
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,549
but is that
a machete in your lap?
294
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,550
Why yes it is.
295
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,186
Why on earth are you
carrying a machete?
296
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,288
Well, it's to chop you
into pieces with.
297
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:23,389
Chop me into pieces?
298
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,258
Why would you want to do that?
299
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:28,628
Well, it's much easier than
burying your body whole.
300
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,463
Let's be honest,
301
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,499
it is not easier to chop
someone into pieces
302
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,501
than it is to bury them whole.
303
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:39,672
You're right, but well,
it's a lot more fun.
304
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,374
[laughing]
305
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:43,442
Oh you kids.
306
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,711
I blame video games.
307
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,050
What about a take
onDuck Dynasty
308
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,419
called
Fuck Die Nasty?
309
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,788
Okay, and we make a dildo that
like, when you suck on it
310
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,456
it shoots out vanilla cream.
311
00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,159
-Oh my God!
-How is that a video?
312
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,260
Well, it's a dildo
313
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,429
and when you suck on it
it shoots out vanilla cream.
314
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,398
So, you want me to put
a dildo in my mouth
315
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:09,168
and pretend to suck it off
for a youtube video?
316
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,236
-No.
-Look,
317
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:11,671
what if we just do
something that's really simple?
318
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,673
What if it's just like,
this or that?
319
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,740
Ugh. What?
320
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:15,775
Just like you have to choose
between two things-
321
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,310
That doesn't make any sense.
Let's not do that.
322
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:18,377
The premise doesn't matter,
323
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:19,312
it's not like you guys
ever stick to the script.
324
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,447
Gretchen our last
video got 1,000 views.
325
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,582
I think we know
what we're doing.
326
00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:23,616
What if...
327
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,451
we do something that
actually has some meaning?
328
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,786
Like it's about
something important...
329
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,121
What if we did something
really character-y?
330
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,823
You know, like, what if we
were just like two crazy people
331
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:31,824
-who run like, a cooking show?
-Yes,
332
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,426
that's exactly what I mean.
333
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,328
Two midwestern
pieces of white trash,
334
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,096
who have to work in like,
a five star restaurant?
335
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:37,830
Oooo, I love it!
336
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:38,931
We'll go wig shopping!
337
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,367
Yeah, but we did that drag-y
web series last summer-
338
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,069
Yea but that was Pam and Tabby
339
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,470
and they're
hairdressers not cooks.
340
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,471
These are totally
different wigs.
341
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,439
Exactly.
342
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,840
I did just read this
really interesting book
343
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:48,841
about gender theory
344
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,376
and it had this whole
chapter about men in...
345
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,211
Fine. We're gonna do it.
[doorbell rings]
346
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,747
I really think this
is gonna be the one.
347
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:55,681
You say that every time.
348
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,149
I know, but I had
a dream about this one.
349
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,751
-It was my idea.
-I know.
350
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:02,521
So, Teddy, this is George,
and this is Barnes.
351
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:03,356
Hi.
352
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:04,690
Gretchen says,
you're her trainer?
353
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,459
And her boyfriend.
354
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,261
-So she pays you?
-That's kinda sexy.
355
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:09,228
And a little sad.
356
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,162
It's his job!
357
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,465
Did you guys come up
with a new TV show?
358
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:15,201
I told you, it's not
a TV show, it's a web series.
359
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,470
You know, I plan on playing
a blonde bombshell
360
00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:18,504
in our next video.
361
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:19,505
Do you like blondes?
362
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:19,906
Uh. Sure.
363
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,774
Oh you do?
364
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,042
And brunettes.
365
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:25,611
Wait... what just happened?
Did I just get in trouble here?
366
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,413
Right, we'll see you Saturday.
367
00:17:27,446 --> 00:17:29,148
Okay, great.
368
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:31,450
-Nice to meet you Teddy.
-Yeah, nice to meet you.
369
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,121
-You're so obnoxious.
-What?
370
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,123
Seriously, I have a question.
371
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:39,158
If they have sex
after they work out,
372
00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:40,426
does that make Teddy
a sex worker?
373
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:43,529
Because if so I would totally
pay for that, he's really hot.
374
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:44,497
Who's hot?
375
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:45,898
You.
376
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,533
I want to show you
my character now,
377
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:48,467
I just leveled up.
378
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,736
Did you buy the pellets
for Meryl Streep?
379
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,171
No, I haven't done that yet.
380
00:17:52,204 --> 00:17:53,139
Okay, so you've just
been on my computer
381
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,540
playing video games all day?
382
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,208
-I'll do it now.
-Great.
383
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,444
You HAVE to get the kind
with no animal byproducts.
384
00:17:58,477 --> 00:17:59,545
-Yeah.
-You know that.
385
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,347
-Excuse me.
-Yeah.
386
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,849
You guys seem
to be doing really well.
387
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,385
-We're doing great.
-It sounds like it.
388
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,553
Never better.
389
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:14,627
♪
390
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,516
Those are really good.
391
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,551
What?
392
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:40,319
That frozen beef and broccoli.
393
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,887
It's really good.
394
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,389
Okay.
395
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:45,658
Thank you.
396
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,261
You make those stupid videos.
397
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,366
Yea. I do.
398
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,300
I just saw the one about
399
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:56,435
the woman who gets
chopped up into pieces.
400
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,937
Oh, I like that one.
401
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:01,240
I liked it too.
402
00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,376
I just killed a guy last night,
for the first time.
403
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:05,945
Oh, did you?
404
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,780
It was a lot harder
than I thought.
405
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:08,748
[chuckles]
406
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:09,815
Emotionally?
407
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:10,983
Physically.
408
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,718
It was exhausting.
409
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,388
I've never killed
a person before.
410
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:16,989
Only small animals.
411
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:19,291
So you kill small animals?
412
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,660
I love it.
413
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,696
And what do you do
with all those little...
414
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,632
animal corpses?
415
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:29,535
Oh, I'm getting into taxidermy.
416
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:32,238
Of course you are, classic.
417
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:35,307
How about you?
418
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:38,644
One time I put a garbage can
over a squirrel in my backyard.
419
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,546
But I didn't kill it,
I just forgot it was there.
420
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:41,981
Oh, you killed it.
421
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,917
No, it probably got away.
422
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:46,719
No, you killed it.
423
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,821
Well, it's still not as cool
as killing a person though.
424
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,690
So, here's your
gold star for weirdness.
425
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,262
I'm George.
426
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,298
Joe.
427
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:00,900
Hi Joe.
428
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:03,335
Hi George.
429
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:07,306
So do you live
in this neighborhood?
430
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:08,674
No.
431
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,677
I was just waiting for you.
432
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:12,845
So what? You're like...
433
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,314
stalking me on the sidewalk?
434
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:18,851
I guess so.
435
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:23,889
Do you wanna... come over?
436
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:24,990
Would you like to have dinner?
437
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,494
Oh, like a date?
438
00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:29,829
Um hmm.
439
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,597
Sure.
440
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:33,532
George Kreeger.
Facebook me.
441
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,935
I'm actually not on Facebook.
442
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,203
Oh God.
443
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,905
Don't tell me you you're one of
those people who don't have TV.
444
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,774
I have a rule about
people like you.
445
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,809
People like what?
446
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:47,313
Murderers,
and people without TV.
447
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:48,481
I have TV.
448
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,983
Oh, thank God.
Here, give me your phone.
449
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:52,685
We'll do it "old school."
450
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,021
Is this a new phone?
451
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:57,656
No.
452
00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,793
You literally have no friends.
453
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,895
I don't have any friends.
454
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,730
So what,
you're telling me like,
455
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:08,367
you're some lonely murderer
who I'm giving my number to?
456
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:10,769
Hot.
457
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,573
That was easy.
458
00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,479
See ya, killer.
459
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,450
♪
460
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:34,760
Wait, so he walked up to you
while you were holding produce?
461
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:35,728
Yea.
462
00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:36,795
God, that kind of thing
NEVER happens to me.
463
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:38,998
Well you don't really
give off inviting energy.
464
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:39,832
What does that mean?
465
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,800
-You have an angry nose.
-No I don't.
466
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:42,801
I do?
467
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:44,103
Angry noses can be really sexy.
468
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,071
Is my angry nose sexy?
469
00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:48,107
I just told Joe that I was
looking forward to seeing him
470
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,775
and he said
that was great.
471
00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,777
Also I'm more of a
relationship kind of person.
472
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,145
I'm not really
a come up and cruise me
473
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:55,014
in the middle of
the street kind of guy.
474
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,415
No offense but
that's a little weird.
475
00:21:56,448 --> 00:21:58,784
-Joe's coming to game night.
-My game night?
476
00:21:58,817 --> 00:21:59,585
-Um hmm.
-Uh...
477
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:02,087
-Is that okay?
-Yeah, it's fine.
478
00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:03,522
I'll just have to call a friend
479
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,457
and ask him
to bring an extra chair.
480
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:09,028
It's no big deal.
481
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:09,962
[chuckles]
482
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,797
I think you guys
are really gonna like him.
483
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:12,798
He's so funny.
484
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:14,533
And did I mention
that he's like, crazy hot?
485
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:16,001
Yeah. A few times.
486
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:17,002
He saw our video.
487
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,137
The "People I Want to Kill" one.
488
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,004
Thought it was hysterical.
489
00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:20,906
He has a really
twisted sense of humor.
490
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,908
Oli really liked
that video too. So...
491
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:23,876
Also he doesn't have a job.
492
00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:25,744
So I think he might
be a trust fund baby.
493
00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,513
Oh that's great.
494
00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:28,681
That's just what LA needs.
495
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:32,017
I just sent him an emoticon
and he asked how I did it.
496
00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:32,851
What!?
497
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:34,987
He doesn't know
what an emoticon is?
498
00:22:36,121 --> 00:22:39,058
Those are those happy faces
you send in texts, right?
499
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:40,626
[laughs]
500
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:41,560
Look, look at this.
501
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:43,062
Look at this face
my daughter just made.
502
00:22:43,095 --> 00:22:44,730
-Tabby.
-That's neat.
503
00:22:44,763 --> 00:22:45,998
That's really funny.
504
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:47,633
-That is neat.
-She sent you a face.
505
00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:49,668
She did that with letters...
She's very creative.
506
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,670
She's great.
Where is Jimmy?
507
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:52,571
He's supposed
to come over here
508
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:53,973
and clean up this
permanent solution.
509
00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:54,773
-I know.
-Every time
510
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:56,175
-I ask him to do something
-Um hmm.
511
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,676
He just gives me
some awful look.
512
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,211
Um hmm.
Jo Ann and I call that
513
00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:00,579
his murder look.
514
00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:02,014
What is a murder look?
515
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:03,549
Well it's when
he looks at you
516
00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:04,650
real intense like, you know
517
00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:07,086
and tilts his head down
like he's about to kill you.
518
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,089
[gasps]
Don't do it to me!
519
00:23:16,195 --> 00:23:19,865
So, Joe,
how's it going with Andy?
520
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,867
(Joe)
Andy's dead
but I met someone new.
521
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,235
His name is George.
522
00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:24,503
We have a date tonight.
523
00:23:24,536 --> 00:23:25,738
Oh a date?
524
00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:27,806
Well you continue
to impress me, Joe.
525
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,943
Honestly, I wasn't sure if
you'd be back to killing cats.
526
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:33,779
(Barnes)
You're kidding me right?
527
00:23:33,812 --> 00:23:35,481
Sister Act One
over
Sister Act Two?
528
00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:36,815
Okay, I think
it's just
Sister Act.
529
00:23:36,849 --> 00:23:38,584
Not
Sister Act One.
530
00:23:38,617 --> 00:23:40,119
It's not like you'd say,
Home Alone One
{end-italic}!"
531
00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:41,687
-I do!
-Why is he shouting?!
532
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,656
Gretchen directs all our videos.
533
00:23:43,689 --> 00:23:45,791
And she also may be paying
her boyfriend for sex.
534
00:23:45,824 --> 00:23:46,859
We are not sure.
535
00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:48,227
Is nothing compared
to
Sister Act Two.
536
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,162
Again,
Sister Act!
537
00:23:50,195 --> 00:23:51,096
Lauren Hill?
538
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,631
COME ON!
Somebody back me up
539
00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:53,666
-Gretchen?
-What?
540
00:23:53,699 --> 00:23:54,867
Sister Act Two
{end-italic}!
541
00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:55,834
You know Barnes,
542
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:57,069
I had a really hard time
in Catholic School,
543
00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,738
and
Sister Act
{end-italic}has always
been difficult for me.
544
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:00,973
Oli?
545
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,709
Yeah.
I saw
Sister Act One.
546
00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:04,810
Oh that's cool.
547
00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:07,279
Can you put down your phone
for ten fucking minutes?
548
00:24:07,313 --> 00:24:08,247
We have company!
549
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,214
This is exactly why
Gretchen doesn't bring
550
00:24:09,248 --> 00:24:11,583
any of her boyfriends
over for game night!
551
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:12,618
[laughs]
552
00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:13,585
I'm checking my e-mail.
553
00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:14,653
-Let me see.
-No.
554
00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:15,788
Because you were texting.
555
00:24:15,821 --> 00:24:18,057
You look way different
when you're sending an email.
556
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:19,158
How does it look different?
557
00:24:19,191 --> 00:24:20,392
I don't know,
you just do.
558
00:24:20,426 --> 00:24:24,163
I'm only here because I know
you'd throw a fit if I weren't.
559
00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:27,633
These people
aren't even my friends.
560
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:29,001
Okay.
561
00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:34,073
I'm gonna play
Warcraft,okay?
562
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,943
Uh, I gonna go make sure
that Meryl Streep has eaten.
563
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:39,645
Did I tell you guys
that Meryl Streep
564
00:24:39,678 --> 00:24:41,647
killed and ate her baby
a few months ago?
565
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:42,981
Yeah, about forty times.
566
00:24:43,015 --> 00:24:45,651
Well, it's gross.
567
00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:46,919
(Teddy)
Meryl Streep?
568
00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:48,320
(Gretchen)
Yeah, it's his hamster.
569
00:24:48,354 --> 00:24:50,656
(Teddy)
He has a hamster?
570
00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:51,757
Can we get out of here?
571
00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:55,227
I just... I can't talk about
Whoopi Goldberg anymore.
572
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:56,729
I know, I know.
573
00:24:56,762 --> 00:24:57,930
Is this the one we brought?
574
00:24:57,963 --> 00:25:00,833
Yeah but this one looks nicer.
575
00:25:00,933 --> 00:25:01,900
(Gretchen)
Hey you guys,
576
00:25:01,934 --> 00:25:04,169
Teddy just reminded me
we've got this thing,
577
00:25:04,203 --> 00:25:07,840
that we have to go to,
so, ah... see you later.
578
00:25:07,873 --> 00:25:09,942
-Okay.
-Bye.
579
00:25:09,975 --> 00:25:11,076
Nice meeting you Joe.
580
00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,911
-Bye guys.
-Bye.
581
00:25:14,213 --> 00:25:17,616
Wait, did they just take
our bottle of wine?
582
00:25:17,649 --> 00:25:19,685
I think they did.
583
00:25:19,718 --> 00:25:20,719
Should I kill them?
584
00:25:22,054 --> 00:25:24,957
Now you're just looking
for an excuse to do that.
585
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:27,626
I guess so.
586
00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:29,862
That was like a ten dollar
bottle of wine though.
587
00:25:30,229 --> 00:25:32,731
Are Barnes and Oli
coming back anytime?
588
00:25:32,765 --> 00:25:33,966
Ooh, I don't know.
589
00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:35,200
They're like the poster boys
590
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:38,070
for relationships that have
reached their expiration date.
591
00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:40,139
Oh! They are?
592
00:25:40,172 --> 00:25:42,007
And he's such a dick to Barnes.
593
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:42,841
I mean like,
we had this video
594
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,810
go sort of viral
a couple weeks ago,
595
00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:46,912
well not viral but
Adam Lambert tweeted it,
596
00:25:46,945 --> 00:25:50,349
and he never even
said, congratulations.
597
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,284
-He didn't?
=No.
598
00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:55,754
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.
599
00:25:55,788 --> 00:25:58,323
I just don't know how Barnes
doesn't just strangle him.
600
00:25:58,357 --> 00:26:01,894
Oh. Strangling is a lot
harder thany you think it is.
601
00:26:02,795 --> 00:26:04,696
[laughing]
Oh is it?
602
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:05,831
Yea.
603
00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:07,232
I could stab him for you.
604
00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:08,634
I've got lots of knives.
605
00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:10,836
[laughing]
Oh you.
606
00:26:12,371 --> 00:26:15,174
I already like you a lot more
than the last guy I dated.
607
00:26:19,011 --> 00:26:20,646
Good.
608
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:26,285
♪
609
00:26:30,355 --> 00:26:32,758
-Throw those chips out.
-What?
610
00:26:32,791 --> 00:26:34,259
I have no business
having chips in this house.
611
00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:36,261
No but, the whole point
of being alive
612
00:26:36,295 --> 00:26:37,996
is knowing that you
have chips in your home.
613
00:26:38,030 --> 00:26:39,998
Oh, THAT'S the point
of being alive?
614
00:26:40,032 --> 00:26:42,334
-I had absolutely no idea.
-Um hmm.
615
00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:44,269
No, if those stay here, I will
eat every single one of them.
616
00:26:44,303 --> 00:26:45,871
You won't,
because you'll be like,
617
00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:47,105
I have chips in the house.
618
00:26:47,139 --> 00:26:48,841
I don't need to go to buy chips,
because I'll have chips here
619
00:26:48,874 --> 00:26:50,108
and you won't worry about it.
620
00:26:50,142 --> 00:26:51,777
I'm throwing these chips away
621
00:26:51,810 --> 00:26:53,879
unless you take them home
right now.
622
00:26:53,912 --> 00:26:54,680
Great.
623
00:26:54,713 --> 00:26:56,081
-Don't do it.
-Consider it done.
624
00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:57,082
She's gonna regret it.
625
00:26:57,115 --> 00:26:58,450
She regrets none of it.
626
00:26:58,484 --> 00:27:00,219
So Joe?
627
00:27:01,887 --> 00:27:04,723
Yeah... he's, he's so weird.
628
00:27:04,756 --> 00:27:06,124
-Yeah.
-He's quiet.
629
00:27:06,158 --> 00:27:07,092
But I don't know,
maybe I think that's odd
630
00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:09,294
just because I spend
too much time with you.
631
00:27:09,328 --> 00:27:11,864
-Cute. Cute.
-Thank you.
632
00:27:12,397 --> 00:27:14,099
No, he is quiet,
and I think that's cool.
633
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:15,400
I mean, I don't always
have a competition
634
00:27:15,434 --> 00:27:17,035
to get a word in edgewise.
635
00:27:17,069 --> 00:27:17,970
Okay...
636
00:27:18,003 --> 00:27:19,471
And I don't want
to sound like an asshole,
637
00:27:19,505 --> 00:27:21,707
but I get to be the star
when he's around.
638
00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:22,941
And he's okay with that.
639
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,878
Yeah,
you sound like an asshole.
640
00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:27,880
I just want you
to have what I have.
641
00:27:27,913 --> 00:27:28,947
Oh really?
642
00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:30,816
You've been with this guy
for like, five minutes.
643
00:27:30,849 --> 00:27:32,484
-Well I'm a baby.
-Ewww.
644
00:27:32,518 --> 00:27:33,919
[laughing]
645
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:35,754
Hey.
646
00:27:36,955 --> 00:27:37,623
Hey.
647
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:39,791
[cell phone vibrates]
Oh.
648
00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:42,027
[gasps]
It's Joe.
649
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:45,130
Can we talk?
650
00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:46,965
-Hey. What's up?
(Joe)
Hey.
651
00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:49,301
I'm just waiting out here
by Oli's car to kill him.
652
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:50,736
Has he left yet?
653
00:27:50,769 --> 00:27:52,204
[laughs]
Oh. REALLY?
654
00:27:52,237 --> 00:27:53,138
Yea.
655
00:27:53,171 --> 00:27:54,406
Well he's still here.
656
00:27:54,439 --> 00:27:56,275
What are you going to do if he
and Barnes start to get it on,
657
00:27:56,308 --> 00:27:57,743
and he stays the night?
658
00:27:57,776 --> 00:28:00,145
Guess I'll have
to wait til morning.
659
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:02,147
Aw. Should I bring you
a blanket and some food?
660
00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:04,116
I have trail mix in my
duffle bag if I need it.
661
00:28:04,149 --> 00:28:05,284
Always prepared.
662
00:28:05,317 --> 00:28:08,153
That's why I have my
duffel bag, it holds all my...
663
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:09,755
That was weird.
664
00:28:09,788 --> 00:28:11,423
Hey, let me
call you back in a bit.
665
00:28:12,057 --> 00:28:13,158
What's up?
666
00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:15,193
We just broke up.
667
00:28:15,227 --> 00:28:16,495
Just now?
668
00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:17,362
Yea.
669
00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:19,431
I should have seen it coming.
I mean,
670
00:28:19,464 --> 00:28:22,801
we haven't had sex since...
671
00:28:22,834 --> 00:28:24,269
I don't even know.
672
00:28:24,303 --> 00:28:26,772
So wait. You're telling me
that in the time it took for me
673
00:28:26,805 --> 00:28:27,639
to come out here
and answer my phone
674
00:28:27,673 --> 00:28:29,942
you ended
a year long relationship?
675
00:28:29,975 --> 00:28:31,176
Yeah.
676
00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:32,110
[laughs]
I'm sorry.
677
00:28:32,144 --> 00:28:33,412
-I know it's not funny but....
-It's not.
678
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:34,780
It's pretty funny.
679
00:28:34,813 --> 00:28:36,148
Shit.
It's not funny at all.
680
00:28:36,181 --> 00:28:37,883
Fuck Barnes,
I've made it through episodes
681
00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:39,518
of
Bunheads
longer than that took...
682
00:28:39,551 --> 00:28:41,119
-Bunheads
{end-italic}?
-Bunheads
{end-italic}!
683
00:28:41,153 --> 00:28:41,820
No.
684
00:28:41,853 --> 00:28:43,155
It's that show from ABC Family?
685
00:28:43,188 --> 00:28:44,556
-No.
-It's on Netflix now.
686
00:28:44,590 --> 00:28:46,892
[laughs]
You know what I'm talking about?
687
00:28:46,925 --> 00:28:48,860
It was that show
with Sutton Foster.
688
00:28:48,894 --> 00:28:50,963
-No.
-She plays a Vegas showgirl
689
00:28:50,996 --> 00:28:53,031
who's somehow like,
sort of together
690
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:55,968
and like, not a mess at all,
and like, no STD's.
691
00:28:56,001 --> 00:28:57,869
-What?
-And like, she moves back
692
00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:59,438
to this small town
and runs a dance studio....
693
00:28:59,471 --> 00:29:01,206
[laughs]
694
00:29:01,239 --> 00:29:03,542
So, basically what's going to
happen to you post break-up.
695
00:29:05,077 --> 00:29:06,912
It's not funny.
696
00:29:06,945 --> 00:29:08,413
So what happened?
You were like,
697
00:29:08,447 --> 00:29:10,215
"You're a dick,
Get out of my house"?
698
00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:11,450
Exactly, and he was like,
699
00:29:11,483 --> 00:29:14,987
"We used to have so much fun
and now you just pick on me."
700
00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:16,054
God...
701
00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:18,223
Well that's his fault for
having zero personality.
702
00:29:18,256 --> 00:29:19,324
Yeah.
703
00:29:22,628 --> 00:29:24,262
Here's your fucking key.
704
00:29:32,037 --> 00:29:33,372
[door slams]
705
00:29:34,272 --> 00:29:35,574
[whispering]
I'm sorry Barnes.
706
00:29:36,942 --> 00:29:40,545
Yeah, it's... whatever.
707
00:29:40,579 --> 00:29:42,914
I'm a horrible person.
708
00:29:42,948 --> 00:29:44,049
No, you're not horrible.
Let's go inside.
709
00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:45,951
You wanna eat some of
those chips out of the trash?
710
00:29:45,984 --> 00:29:47,953
More than anything.
711
00:29:47,986 --> 00:29:49,421
I'm disgusting.
712
00:29:51,356 --> 00:29:53,225
Shit.
713
00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:56,395
Fuckin' dick!
714
00:29:56,428 --> 00:29:58,597
Fuck, fucking asshole!
715
00:29:58,630 --> 00:29:59,898
Fuckin' dick!
716
00:30:01,233 --> 00:30:03,535
Fuck you, you fuckin' shit!
717
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,240
♪
718
00:30:58,623 --> 00:31:00,959
Hey man, what...
What are you doing...
719
00:31:00,992 --> 00:31:02,594
What are you doing
in my car, man?
720
00:31:04,029 --> 00:31:07,199
Joe?
721
00:31:07,232 --> 00:31:08,567
How'd you get here?
722
00:31:09,501 --> 00:31:11,336
I was in your car.
723
00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:16,508
Barnes and I just broke up.
724
00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:23,081
What?
725
00:31:23,682 --> 00:31:25,484
Hey, what?
[grunts]
726
00:31:25,517 --> 00:31:27,919
♪
727
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,722
What is that?
728
00:32:04,156 --> 00:32:06,625
I don't understand
what's happening.
729
00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:08,460
I'm killing you.
730
00:32:12,497 --> 00:32:15,200
Why don't I feel anything?
731
00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:17,102
You don't?
732
00:32:17,135 --> 00:32:20,772
[screams]
733
00:32:20,806 --> 00:32:24,743
[screaming continues]
734
00:32:42,327 --> 00:32:44,462
Chill man.
Chill!
735
00:32:46,698 --> 00:32:48,600
[grunts]
736
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,438
[cell phone rings]
737
00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:57,142
Hey.
738
00:32:57,175 --> 00:32:59,177
Hey, sorry about that.
739
00:32:59,211 --> 00:33:01,313
But, you don't
have to kill Oli now,
740
00:33:01,346 --> 00:33:03,481
he and Barnes just broke up.
741
00:33:03,515 --> 00:33:05,083
Too Late.
742
00:33:05,116 --> 00:33:07,485
I'm gonna have to
kill the drunk guy too.
743
00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:08,520
And his whole family?
744
00:33:08,553 --> 00:33:11,156
No, just one guy.
745
00:33:11,189 --> 00:33:12,524
You're funny.
746
00:33:12,557 --> 00:33:14,793
Hey, can I call you tomorrow?
747
00:33:14,826 --> 00:33:17,295
I'm gonna have to ditch
these bodies somewhere.
748
00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:20,332
Okay, whatever, good night.
749
00:33:20,365 --> 00:33:21,666
Bye.
750
00:33:22,767 --> 00:33:25,503
♪
751
00:33:44,189 --> 00:33:47,359
I love...
Grease
{end-italic}.
752
00:33:47,392 --> 00:33:49,227
-The movie.
-It's my favorite movie.
753
00:33:49,261 --> 00:33:50,862
It's so fun.
754
00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:51,863
It's so fun.
755
00:33:51,897 --> 00:33:53,298
It's... I love the stud.
756
00:33:53,331 --> 00:33:54,799
You know people
do sing-alongs with it?
757
00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:56,434
That sounds fun.
I don't even know...
758
00:33:56,468 --> 00:33:57,769
-I sing-along at home.
-Well.
759
00:33:57,802 --> 00:33:59,371
-I pour my rosé, and I sing.
-Yeah.
760
00:33:59,404 --> 00:34:01,273
Sit on the couch
all by yourself and sing?
761
00:34:01,306 --> 00:34:02,173
Yeah, big whoop.
762
00:34:02,207 --> 00:34:02,841
You live alone still, right?
763
00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:04,242
-I do.
-Yeah.
764
00:34:04,276 --> 00:34:05,810
-I do, I prefer it that way.
-Um hmm.
765
00:34:05,844 --> 00:34:07,112
I hate roommates.
766
00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:08,046
Are you dating at all?
767
00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:10,248
No, not right now.
I did, do you remember
768
00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:12,217
that guy Chuck who came in
and delivered the arrowhead?
769
00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:13,652
-Uh huh.
-Yeah, well I asked him,
770
00:34:13,685 --> 00:34:15,787
-on a date.
-What'd he say?
771
00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:16,755
He said no.
772
00:34:16,788 --> 00:34:17,622
I asked him if he was married,
he said no.
773
00:34:17,656 --> 00:34:18,657
I said you know what,
this is fate.
774
00:34:18,690 --> 00:34:21,259
It's fate that we
never see each other again.
775
00:34:21,293 --> 00:34:23,128
-Ah!
-And you don't have a...?
776
00:34:23,161 --> 00:34:24,195
-No.
-No.
777
00:34:24,229 --> 00:34:26,698
-No it's just me.
-Just you.
778
00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:27,699
(George)
I spent it at Epcot.
779
00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:29,567
(Joe)
With your parents?
-With my parents
780
00:34:29,601 --> 00:34:30,669
Shut up.
781
00:34:30,702 --> 00:34:33,438
It was so crazy, my mom
got so drunk off margaritas
782
00:34:33,471 --> 00:34:35,340
that we had to take
a golf cart out of the park.
783
00:34:35,373 --> 00:34:37,142
So it ended up being really fun.
784
00:34:37,776 --> 00:34:38,843
You're fun.
785
00:34:38,877 --> 00:34:40,278
Awwww.
786
00:34:40,312 --> 00:34:41,346
I'm serious.
787
00:34:41,379 --> 00:34:42,447
You are.
788
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,449
You really make me smile.
789
00:34:44,482 --> 00:34:46,785
And I don't smile that often.
790
00:34:46,818 --> 00:34:49,821
Ya know, I wasn't
sure you even liked me.
791
00:34:49,854 --> 00:34:50,822
Really?
792
00:34:50,855 --> 00:34:52,223
I do like you.
793
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,425
Well we haven't kissed,
794
00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:56,161
and the other night you left
in such a hurry after games.
795
00:34:56,194 --> 00:34:57,595
I figured you were just like...
796
00:34:57,629 --> 00:34:58,863
Not into it.
797
00:34:59,531 --> 00:35:00,799
I am.
798
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,301
Yea?
799
00:35:03,335 --> 00:35:04,536
Yea.
800
00:35:04,569 --> 00:35:06,805
I've got to make
you squirm first.
801
00:35:16,715 --> 00:35:18,950
Dr. Strauss would
never believe this.
802
00:35:18,984 --> 00:35:21,720
Who's Dr. Strauss?
803
00:35:21,753 --> 00:35:24,656
He's the doctor at the
hospital where I used to live.
804
00:35:24,689 --> 00:35:25,790
Oh you lived there?
805
00:35:28,259 --> 00:35:29,828
It was my parents' idea.
806
00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:31,930
Kind of like a therapy thing.
807
00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:33,465
Oh, like pray the gay away?
808
00:35:33,498 --> 00:35:35,600
No. Not like that.
809
00:35:35,633 --> 00:35:38,970
It was more about learning
empathy and self awareness.
810
00:35:39,004 --> 00:35:41,706
Oh, I'd be SO into
something like that.
811
00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:43,308
I go to yoga.
812
00:35:43,341 --> 00:35:45,977
But now I decided that I'm
just gonna do what I want.
813
00:35:46,011 --> 00:35:47,946
You only live once.
814
00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:51,416
I spent so much time pushing
down these feelings I've had
815
00:35:51,449 --> 00:35:53,685
and now, finally,
816
00:35:53,718 --> 00:35:55,854
I'm letting my
impulses guide me.
817
00:35:57,655 --> 00:36:00,959
Well, I'm glad I get to be with
you while you're going wild.
818
00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:01,893
Really?
819
00:36:01,926 --> 00:36:03,795
Yeah, really.
820
00:36:04,963 --> 00:36:07,399
I like talking to you George.
821
00:36:07,432 --> 00:36:09,801
I've been having
such a good week.
822
00:36:11,569 --> 00:36:12,871
Hey guys.
823
00:36:13,571 --> 00:36:15,874
Gretchen told me you were here.
824
00:36:15,907 --> 00:36:18,810
I was nearby, so it's
not crazy or anything.
825
00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:21,279
I had to take poor
Meryl Streep to the vet.
826
00:36:21,312 --> 00:36:24,382
I don't think you're supposed
to take hamsters tot the vet.
827
00:36:24,416 --> 00:36:25,617
Well I thought
she was depressed.
828
00:36:25,650 --> 00:36:27,385
But it turns out
hamsters don't get depressed
829
00:36:27,419 --> 00:36:29,287
when their boyfriends
break up with them.
830
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:30,722
But people do.
831
00:36:31,823 --> 00:36:33,792
Did you watch
Real Housewives
{end-italic}this week?
832
00:36:33,825 --> 00:36:34,959
Atlanta or Beverly Hills?
833
00:36:34,993 --> 00:36:35,693
Please.
834
00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:36,661
Beverly Hills.
835
00:36:36,694 --> 00:36:38,596
You were so right about Kim.
836
00:36:38,630 --> 00:36:39,798
I know, right?
837
00:36:39,831 --> 00:36:43,034
She needs her own sitcom,
or movie, or to be President.
838
00:36:43,068 --> 00:36:44,936
She is all...
839
00:36:44,969 --> 00:36:47,739
[voices muffled/echoing]
840
00:37:01,086 --> 00:37:03,388
Sherman Oaks,
or somewhere awful.
841
00:37:03,421 --> 00:37:04,289
Van Nuys, I thought.
842
00:37:04,322 --> 00:37:05,490
Here's your wine.
843
00:37:05,523 --> 00:37:06,658
Oh, thank you.
844
00:37:06,691 --> 00:37:08,726
Enjoy, your date fellas.
845
00:37:09,928 --> 00:37:11,529
Oh I'm sorry.
846
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:13,298
I'll let you be.
847
00:37:13,331 --> 00:37:14,866
Oh, you haven't
talked to Oli have you?
848
00:37:14,899 --> 00:37:15,733
Why would I talk to Oli?
849
00:37:15,767 --> 00:37:17,602
I don't know.
His roommate called me,
850
00:37:17,635 --> 00:37:18,903
he didn't go home last night.
851
00:37:18,937 --> 00:37:20,472
-Well that's weird.
-Yeah.
852
00:37:20,505 --> 00:37:23,308
All right, well
Meryl and I better go.
853
00:37:23,341 --> 00:37:25,443
-Hey Joe.
-Hey.
854
00:37:26,845 --> 00:37:28,546
Do you think
he's gonna be upset?
855
00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:29,581
About what?
856
00:37:29,614 --> 00:37:31,549
That I killed Oli.
857
00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:33,585
[chuckles]
We better not tell him!
858
00:37:38,656 --> 00:37:41,359
You think
you're falling in love?
859
00:37:41,392 --> 00:37:43,995
Oh boy. Um...
860
00:37:44,028 --> 00:37:46,931
Joe, listen, love is...
861
00:37:46,965 --> 00:37:50,034
how do I explain love
to someone like you?
862
00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:57,775
The way your brain works is...
863
00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:02,814
Let's get into this
on Saturday, okay?
864
00:38:02,847 --> 00:38:04,482
(Joe)
Okay.
865
00:38:11,556 --> 00:38:13,024
(George) I'm nervous.
866
00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:14,759
Why?
867
00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:18,029
Well, you don't normally do the
whole meet the parents thing
868
00:38:18,062 --> 00:38:22,400
until you're boyfriends
or really serious.
869
00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:24,369
I am really serious.
870
00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:26,437
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
871
00:38:26,471 --> 00:38:28,139
Aren't you?
872
00:38:28,173 --> 00:38:29,641
Yeah.
873
00:38:31,042 --> 00:38:33,811
I just feel
a little under-dressed.
874
00:38:33,845 --> 00:38:36,347
I mean look at me,
I'm wearing a tablecloth.
875
00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:40,585
But that's okay,
parents always love me.
876
00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,629
That was really delicious.
877
00:38:54,065 --> 00:38:55,733
It's
Scarpetta
{end-italic}.
878
00:38:56,935 --> 00:38:58,670
Tastes like chicken.
879
00:39:00,471 --> 00:39:01,773
It is chicken.
880
00:39:01,806 --> 00:39:04,842
The restaurant that it
came from is called
Scarpetta
{end-italic}.
881
00:39:04,876 --> 00:39:07,879
I didn't cook this.
So...
882
00:39:08,846 --> 00:39:11,015
How is it that you two
know each other?
883
00:39:11,049 --> 00:39:13,418
I stalked him on his way home
from the Grocery Store.
884
00:39:19,457 --> 00:39:20,892
What does that mean?
885
00:39:21,626 --> 00:39:23,094
I was on the way home
from the grocery store,
886
00:39:23,127 --> 00:39:25,997
and he noticed my frozen food.
887
00:39:26,864 --> 00:39:27,999
Frozen food?
888
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:30,101
Beef and Broccoli.
889
00:39:30,134 --> 00:39:34,172
I was surprised when Joe asked
to bring someone home for lunch.
890
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:35,306
Oh?
891
00:39:35,340 --> 00:39:37,809
Joe has never brought a friend
home for lunch before.
892
00:39:37,842 --> 00:39:40,078
Oh... A friend.
893
00:39:42,513 --> 00:39:43,881
What does he mean?
894
00:39:44,983 --> 00:39:46,718
We're friends.
895
00:39:47,986 --> 00:39:49,587
Elsa!
896
00:39:49,621 --> 00:39:54,425
[speaking Japanese]
897
00:40:03,768 --> 00:40:06,237
So how long have
you two been friends?
898
00:40:06,271 --> 00:40:07,905
Since Monday.
899
00:40:09,807 --> 00:40:11,576
You brought a boy
home for lunch
900
00:40:11,609 --> 00:40:13,778
that you've only
known for five days?
901
00:40:14,779 --> 00:40:16,080
I like him.
902
00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:18,883
What do you mean you like him?
903
00:40:18,916 --> 00:40:20,685
He understands me.
904
00:40:20,718 --> 00:40:22,854
I told him
all about the hospital.
905
00:40:29,961 --> 00:40:31,963
I thought we agreed
that that was something
906
00:40:31,996 --> 00:40:33,965
we were leaving in your past.
907
00:40:33,998 --> 00:40:36,267
Well Dr. Strauss said it
was important for me to be
908
00:40:36,301 --> 00:40:39,904
open and up front with
the people that I care about.
909
00:40:39,937 --> 00:40:42,707
You care about a boy that you've
known for only five days?
910
00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:44,108
I do.
911
00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:47,578
Are you hearing this?
912
00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:55,820
[speaking Japanese]
913
00:41:05,863 --> 00:41:07,932
You'll have to
forgive me George.
914
00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:11,102
Joe doesn't have any friends.
915
00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:13,771
And I am not accustom to having
conversations with strangers
916
00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:15,707
in my own home.
917
00:41:15,740 --> 00:41:18,576
I know it seems like this
has moved really fast,
918
00:41:18,609 --> 00:41:21,646
but, we just connected
really quickly.
919
00:41:21,679 --> 00:41:22,814
Connected?
920
00:41:22,847 --> 00:41:24,615
Should you be connecting?
921
00:41:24,649 --> 00:41:26,050
Yes, I should.
922
00:41:26,084 --> 00:41:28,953
Oh we're not
connecting connecting...
923
00:41:28,986 --> 00:41:30,755
Yet.
924
00:41:30,788 --> 00:41:31,489
Sorry.
925
00:41:31,522 --> 00:41:34,859
Okay, that was weird.
Um...
926
00:41:34,892 --> 00:41:36,227
Let's just start over.
927
00:41:37,128 --> 00:41:38,696
Hi, I'm George.
928
00:41:38,730 --> 00:41:39,964
What is he doing?
929
00:41:39,997 --> 00:41:41,699
He's starting over.
930
00:41:41,733 --> 00:41:42,967
Like nothing happened.
931
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,036
I'm not going to play
a game with him Joe.
932
00:41:45,069 --> 00:41:46,304
I'm just...
trying to be funny.
933
00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:48,606
Why are you
with this comedian, Joe?
934
00:41:49,907 --> 00:41:51,209
Oh, George isn't a comedian.
935
00:41:51,242 --> 00:41:54,245
Actually, I am
sort of a comedian.
936
00:41:54,278 --> 00:41:55,213
I mean, I write too.
937
00:41:55,246 --> 00:41:57,315
I'm going to be very honest
with you George.
938
00:41:57,348 --> 00:41:59,650
Joe is a very troubled boy.
939
00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:01,886
And it reflects poorly
on your character
940
00:42:01,919 --> 00:42:04,088
that you have not
yet discerned this.
941
00:42:04,288 --> 00:42:06,057
Huh.
942
00:42:06,090 --> 00:42:07,792
Moms are usually my thing.
943
00:42:10,228 --> 00:42:12,029
Goodbye George.
944
00:42:14,298 --> 00:42:16,134
Wanna see my room?
945
00:42:21,339 --> 00:42:23,141
This used to be the pool house.
946
00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:24,642
That's why I'm still moving in.
947
00:42:24,675 --> 00:42:26,177
That went really poorly.
948
00:42:26,978 --> 00:42:28,079
It did?
949
00:42:28,112 --> 00:42:30,148
Yeah, it did.
Where were you?
950
00:42:31,315 --> 00:42:32,784
I was sitting right next to you.
951
00:42:32,817 --> 00:42:34,852
Why didn't you stick up for me?
952
00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:36,587
I don't know.
953
00:42:37,655 --> 00:42:39,323
I didn't notice.
954
00:42:39,357 --> 00:42:41,259
That's the way she always is.
955
00:42:41,292 --> 00:42:44,729
You didn't notice that she
was extremely rude to me?
956
00:42:44,762 --> 00:42:47,031
She called me a comedian, Joe.
957
00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:49,400
But you said
you were a comedian.
958
00:42:49,434 --> 00:42:51,702
Yea, but she meant like a fool.
959
00:42:51,736 --> 00:42:53,404
I didn't hear her
call you a fool.
960
00:42:53,438 --> 00:42:56,340
She didn't have to.
I got the point!
961
00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:03,781
Are you mad at me?
962
00:43:06,050 --> 00:43:08,286
No.
963
00:43:08,319 --> 00:43:10,655
I'm not mad at you .
964
00:43:11,255 --> 00:43:13,724
I just was hurt
by what your parents said.
965
00:43:14,325 --> 00:43:18,296
But you are not your parents,
and neither am I.
966
00:43:18,329 --> 00:43:20,731
Well of course
I'm not my parents.
967
00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:22,333
That would be impossible.
968
00:43:23,201 --> 00:43:25,403
I just don't know how you
grew up with that woman?
969
00:43:25,436 --> 00:43:27,872
She thinks you're disturbed.
970
00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:33,077
Well... I guess I am.
971
00:43:34,312 --> 00:43:37,148
You're not disturbed Joe.
972
00:43:37,181 --> 00:43:40,017
They're the ones
with the problem.
973
00:43:40,051 --> 00:43:41,052
Not you.
974
00:43:41,085 --> 00:43:44,088
You're... you're perfect.
975
00:43:45,356 --> 00:43:46,290
Okay.
976
00:43:46,324 --> 00:43:47,258
How about this:
977
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:49,760
I'll get rid of my parents.
I'll kill them.
978
00:43:52,463 --> 00:43:53,998
Come here.
979
00:43:57,768 --> 00:43:58,703
Oh!
980
00:43:58,736 --> 00:44:01,005
You really do
do taxidermy.
981
00:44:01,038 --> 00:44:02,974
I thought you were joking.
982
00:44:13,818 --> 00:44:15,686
Joe.
983
00:44:15,853 --> 00:44:18,756
Joe please don't do this.
984
00:44:19,056 --> 00:44:22,059
[crying]
Joe, what are you doing?
985
00:44:22,860 --> 00:44:25,863
Joe, stop this now.
986
00:44:27,164 --> 00:44:28,866
What are you doing?
987
00:44:28,900 --> 00:44:31,202
Joe stop this... Joe...
988
00:44:32,136 --> 00:44:34,005
Joe, we can call Dr. Strauss!
989
00:44:34,038 --> 00:44:36,707
He can make it okay!
990
00:44:41,946 --> 00:44:44,782
Joe, everything'll be okay!
991
00:44:45,883 --> 00:44:48,119
Goddamnit Joe!
Listen to your mother!
992
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:53,457
Be pragmatic Joe!
Without us you've got nothing!
993
00:44:53,891 --> 00:44:55,893
I have George.
994
00:44:56,894 --> 00:44:59,764
Goddamnit Joe!!
995
00:44:59,797 --> 00:45:06,037
No!
[sobbing]
996
00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:09,073
No! Goddamnit Joe!!...
997
00:45:18,182 --> 00:45:21,886
♪
998
00:45:41,172 --> 00:45:43,574
[glass shatters]
999
00:45:43,608 --> 00:45:46,544
[fire roaring]
1000
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,121
You have this nice little
glass of pinot grigio.
1001
00:45:57,154 --> 00:45:59,090
Oh I love it!
Love it, love it, love it!
1002
00:45:59,123 --> 00:46:00,458
Yeah, so don't
drink it yet!
1003
00:46:00,491 --> 00:46:01,859
-Don't drink it?
-No, no, no, not yet.
1004
00:46:01,892 --> 00:46:03,527
-Okay.
-Swirl it around.
1005
00:46:03,561 --> 00:46:05,596
Just... you know,
it has to breathe.
1006
00:46:05,630 --> 00:46:08,499
It smells like Sader wine.
1007
00:46:08,532 --> 00:46:10,868
I'm not going to get
into politics with you.
1008
00:46:10,901 --> 00:46:14,338
Don't do it like that, Abby,
just you know, just sort of...
1009
00:46:16,340 --> 00:46:17,475
you know what I mean?
1010
00:46:17,508 --> 00:46:19,110
Just like really, yeah...
now smell.
1011
00:46:19,143 --> 00:46:20,845
Tell me what you smell.
1012
00:46:21,512 --> 00:46:23,280
Smells like a lake.
1013
00:46:23,314 --> 00:46:25,016
Really get in it.
1014
00:46:25,049 --> 00:46:26,450
I can't get my
whole nose in here.
1015
00:46:26,484 --> 00:46:28,219
You don't have to get
your whole nose in there.
1016
00:46:28,252 --> 00:46:30,221
Maybe... do we have
different wines?
1017
00:46:30,254 --> 00:46:31,522
Try yours I guess.
1018
00:46:31,555 --> 00:46:33,157
Did I tell you my husband died?
1019
00:46:35,259 --> 00:46:37,161
Actually, maybe it does
smell like a lake.
1020
00:46:41,265 --> 00:46:43,000
Have you killed any animals?
1021
00:46:43,034 --> 00:46:44,235
(Joe)
Nope.
1022
00:46:44,268 --> 00:46:46,103
Good.
1023
00:46:47,171 --> 00:46:48,873
(Barnes)
It's weird having an audience.
1024
00:46:48,906 --> 00:46:49,874
Oh I like it.
1025
00:46:49,907 --> 00:46:50,941
When I had a boyfriend,
1026
00:46:50,975 --> 00:46:51,942
he would to sit in the
other room and not stare.
1027
00:46:51,976 --> 00:46:54,512
Oh, well you have to be
very nice to Joe today,
1028
00:46:54,545 --> 00:46:55,946
because he just
killed his parents
1029
00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:58,149
so he's feeling
very vulnerable.
1030
00:46:58,182 --> 00:46:59,917
What,
was I not supposed to say?
1031
00:46:59,950 --> 00:47:01,152
How'd you do it Joe?
1032
00:47:02,119 --> 00:47:03,154
Fire.
1033
00:47:04,321 --> 00:47:05,456
Okay.
1034
00:47:05,656 --> 00:47:07,958
Okay, enough with
the creepiness, Joe.
1035
00:47:07,992 --> 00:47:09,160
Tell me the truth.
1036
00:47:09,193 --> 00:47:10,528
Do I pull off this wig?
1037
00:47:10,561 --> 00:47:12,063
[laughs]
1038
00:47:12,096 --> 00:47:14,198
I like you the way you are.
1039
00:47:14,231 --> 00:47:15,132
I don't know
what it is about wigs,
1040
00:47:15,166 --> 00:47:16,634
but they really just
make me feel alive.
1041
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:17,468
Ugh.
1042
00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:18,302
What about you Teddy?
1043
00:47:18,335 --> 00:47:19,470
Do you think
I make a pretty girl?
1044
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:23,240
Well, I'd have to be pretty
drunk, but I've had worse.
1045
00:47:23,274 --> 00:47:24,475
You have huh?
1046
00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:26,343
Joe, go get Teddy some beer!
1047
00:47:26,377 --> 00:47:27,144
George!
1048
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:28,612
Keep your mitts
off my boyfriend.
1049
00:47:28,646 --> 00:47:30,047
You know something...
1050
00:47:30,081 --> 00:47:31,282
maybe if we lived together,
1051
00:47:31,315 --> 00:47:34,251
I wouldn't be tempted by this
beautiful blonde bombshell.
1052
00:47:34,285 --> 00:47:36,253
I mean look at her,
she's begging for it.
1053
00:47:36,287 --> 00:47:37,955
Oh, so you DO like blondes?
1054
00:47:37,988 --> 00:47:39,690
I think we are making
her jealous Georgie.
1055
00:47:39,724 --> 00:47:42,927
I would do things to you
she wouldn't dream of doing.
1056
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:44,395
Okay, okay, okay,
let's just shoot.
1057
00:47:47,131 --> 00:47:48,132
Action!
1058
00:47:48,532 --> 00:47:50,501
Well, scrambled eggs and bacon!
1059
00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:52,169
[laughs]
1060
00:47:52,269 --> 00:47:54,004
(Emma)
Teddy!
1061
00:47:54,038 --> 00:47:55,239
-Guess we'll restart.
-This is really...
1062
00:47:55,272 --> 00:47:57,308
I was in it, but whatever!
It's fine.
1063
00:47:58,375 --> 00:48:00,678
♪
1064
00:48:20,331 --> 00:48:21,632
Oh hey.
1065
00:48:21,665 --> 00:48:24,335
I just gotta get a coffee,
do you want anything?
1066
00:48:24,368 --> 00:48:25,302
What do they have?
1067
00:48:25,336 --> 00:48:26,670
It's Starbucks's!
1068
00:48:26,704 --> 00:48:28,439
Can I just stay here
at your place?
1069
00:48:28,472 --> 00:48:30,074
Yeah, that's fine.
1070
00:48:30,107 --> 00:48:34,578
Okay, I will have a
vanilla iced skinny mocha.
1071
00:48:34,612 --> 00:48:35,479
But hot.
1072
00:48:35,513 --> 00:48:38,716
-So, a vanilla skinny mocha?
-But hot.
1073
00:48:38,749 --> 00:48:39,517
[sighs]
1074
00:48:39,550 --> 00:48:41,085
-Wait.
-What?
1075
00:48:41,118 --> 00:48:43,154
-I like this.
-What?
1076
00:48:43,187 --> 00:48:46,290
Being with you,
arguing together.
1077
00:48:46,323 --> 00:48:49,727
Like a couple
that lives together...
1078
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,162
[sighs]
1079
00:48:52,696 --> 00:48:53,664
Okay.
1080
00:48:53,697 --> 00:48:55,199
What?
1081
00:48:55,232 --> 00:48:58,002
You can move in.
1082
00:48:58,035 --> 00:48:59,436
You're serious?
1083
00:48:59,470 --> 00:49:01,071
I'm serious.
1084
00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:02,273
[laughs]
1085
00:49:03,474 --> 00:49:06,610
From now on, you get a 25%
discount on personal training.
1086
00:49:06,644 --> 00:49:09,413
Oh God!
Such a romantic Teddy.
1087
00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:11,482
I don't know how
i can stand it.
1088
00:49:11,515 --> 00:49:13,017
Bye...
1089
00:49:24,762 --> 00:49:27,998
[shower water running]
1090
00:49:30,201 --> 00:49:34,405
♪
1091
00:49:56,393 --> 00:49:57,428
(Joe)
Teddy?
1092
00:49:57,862 --> 00:49:59,230
Joe?
1093
00:50:00,097 --> 00:50:01,732
What the fuck
are you doing here?
1094
00:50:02,399 --> 00:50:04,435
I wasn't looking at you naked.
1095
00:50:05,636 --> 00:50:08,439
I was just making
sure you were alone.
1096
00:50:08,472 --> 00:50:10,241
Well you coulda knocked.
1097
00:50:17,448 --> 00:50:19,316
So what do you want?
1098
00:50:20,217 --> 00:50:21,385
[bag thuds on floor]
1099
00:50:25,422 --> 00:50:28,225
Oh, no, no, no, no.
1100
00:50:28,259 --> 00:50:30,828
Dude, you gotta
get out of here.
1101
00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:32,496
I'm not gay.
1102
00:50:33,631 --> 00:50:36,533
I made out with a guy once,
but that was in college.
1103
00:50:38,602 --> 00:50:40,471
I really like George.
1104
00:50:42,439 --> 00:50:44,575
What's the fucking
matter with you?
1105
00:50:44,608 --> 00:50:45,843
Get outta here!
1106
00:50:51,548 --> 00:50:53,350
Where's my fucking phone?
1107
00:51:01,325 --> 00:51:02,826
[groans]
1108
00:51:04,428 --> 00:51:06,297
♪
1109
00:51:14,171 --> 00:51:15,806
(Gretchen)
I forgot my fucking wallet!
1110
00:51:20,411 --> 00:51:21,845
Teddy?
1111
00:51:23,580 --> 00:51:24,581
Gretchen?
1112
00:51:31,522 --> 00:51:32,756
Teddy?
1113
00:51:38,896 --> 00:51:41,265
Oh my God!
Oh!
1114
00:51:43,500 --> 00:51:45,269
[screams]
1115
00:51:51,342 --> 00:51:54,611
♪
1116
00:52:19,703 --> 00:52:20,504
Go!
1117
00:52:20,537 --> 00:52:21,472
Go away!
1118
00:52:21,505 --> 00:52:24,875
Go!
Go away!
1119
00:52:24,908 --> 00:52:27,845
[screams/yells]
1120
00:52:35,886 --> 00:52:38,255
Ow, ow, ow!
1121
00:52:41,458 --> 00:52:45,295
♪
1122
00:53:08,419 --> 00:53:12,322
-It's just classic.
-You know what I'm gonna do?
1123
00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:13,657
-What?
-I think I'm gonna buy it.
1124
00:53:13,690 --> 00:53:16,026
-No, Lauren.
-Yes, yes.
1125
00:53:16,060 --> 00:53:18,562
For me, and that way...
[phone vibrates]
1126
00:53:23,434 --> 00:53:24,134
Hello?
1127
00:53:24,168 --> 00:53:25,903
(George)
Hello.
-
{end-italic}Hi.
1128
00:53:27,671 --> 00:53:29,506
So, I'm sittiing here
1129
00:53:29,540 --> 00:53:33,444
and I just realized
that I'm jealous.
1130
00:53:33,477 --> 00:53:34,778
Jealous?
1131
00:53:34,812 --> 00:53:36,613
What do you mean?
1132
00:53:36,647 --> 00:53:38,816
Jealous of Teddy.
1133
00:53:38,849 --> 00:53:40,584
Why?
1134
00:53:40,617 --> 00:53:44,321
I guess it was the way
you two were talking earlier.
1135
00:53:44,354 --> 00:53:46,590
Joe, you have no reason
to be jealous of Teddy!
1136
00:53:46,623 --> 00:53:48,725
The thing is,
1137
00:53:48,759 --> 00:53:50,794
I'm never jealous.
1138
00:53:50,828 --> 00:53:52,429
Of anything.
1139
00:53:53,464 --> 00:53:56,934
It's good, it's a...
1140
00:53:56,967 --> 00:53:58,702
it's a new feeling.
1141
00:53:58,735 --> 00:53:59,703
Really?
1142
00:53:59,736 --> 00:54:02,906
This is all new to me George.
1143
00:54:02,940 --> 00:54:04,508
Me too....
1144
00:54:04,808 --> 00:54:06,410
So you were jealous?
1145
00:54:06,443 --> 00:54:07,544
Yeah.
1146
00:54:07,578 --> 00:54:10,481
And I didn't even realize
until after I killed him.
1147
00:54:10,514 --> 00:54:11,548
Oh no!
1148
00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:12,749
You killed Teddy now?
1149
00:54:12,783 --> 00:54:14,351
Almost.
1150
00:54:14,384 --> 00:54:17,721
He's almost dead.
He's breathing a little.
1151
00:54:17,754 --> 00:54:19,756
Gretchen's
all the way dead though.
1152
00:54:19,790 --> 00:54:22,726
You're just a regular
serial killer now, aren't ya?
1153
00:54:26,063 --> 00:54:27,998
George,
1154
00:54:28,031 --> 00:54:30,501
your feelings
really matter to me,
1155
00:54:30,534 --> 00:54:32,536
and I want to protect that.
1156
00:54:33,403 --> 00:54:35,839
You're the most important
person in my life, George.
1157
00:54:35,873 --> 00:54:39,977
Oh Joe, that's so... sweet.
1158
00:54:41,011 --> 00:54:42,846
Well...
1159
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:44,915
I should finish Teddy off.
1160
00:54:47,384 --> 00:54:49,319
One more stab should do it,
1161
00:54:49,853 --> 00:54:53,590
-head or heart?
-
{end-italic}Right, Teddy. Umm...
1162
00:54:53,624 --> 00:54:54,625
Heart.
1163
00:54:55,392 --> 00:54:58,862
Heart it is.
1164
00:54:58,896 --> 00:55:00,397
[sound of knife plunging]
1165
00:55:00,964 --> 00:55:01,999
What was that?
1166
00:55:02,032 --> 00:55:03,100
Teddy.
1167
00:55:04,501 --> 00:55:06,336
No really, what was that sound?
1168
00:55:06,904 --> 00:55:08,372
It was Teddy.
1169
00:55:08,839 --> 00:55:10,040
Oh my God!
1170
00:55:10,073 --> 00:55:12,943
I forgot to tell you who I saw
at Cafe Figaro this morning.
1171
00:55:12,976 --> 00:55:14,745
Jenna Elfman!
1172
00:55:15,812 --> 00:55:17,948
Mmmm, did I tell you Brad's
so into me like, are you crazy?
1173
00:55:17,981 --> 00:55:19,082
Oh my God, what?
1174
00:55:19,116 --> 00:55:20,851
He's so into me
1175
00:55:20,884 --> 00:55:22,719
it's almost too much,
cause he's always like,
1176
00:55:22,753 --> 00:55:24,988
-buying me breakfast,
-I love breakfast.
1177
00:55:25,022 --> 00:55:27,991
-bring me flowers,
-They smell forever.
1178
00:55:28,025 --> 00:55:29,960
or like, waking me up
with like, fresh coffee.
1179
00:55:29,993 --> 00:55:35,065
And it's like, ugh,
too much, it's too much.
1180
00:55:35,098 --> 00:55:36,867
Oh God, it's amazing,
he's like, really hot.
1181
00:55:36,900 --> 00:55:39,636
Well if he ever went with you
I would be humiliated.
1182
00:55:39,670 --> 00:55:42,973
I would like, take a knife,
and like, slice your face off.
1183
00:55:43,006 --> 00:55:44,975
-And then peel it off.
-Ow.
1184
00:55:45,008 --> 00:55:46,510
And then just like,
put it in the garbage
1185
00:55:46,543 --> 00:55:47,778
where it belongs.
1186
00:55:49,580 --> 00:55:52,583
Who's my baby girl?
[chuckles]
1187
00:55:53,984 --> 00:55:55,085
[car door closing]
1188
00:55:57,221 --> 00:55:58,522
Andy?
1189
00:56:04,461 --> 00:56:05,696
Andy?
1190
00:56:13,804 --> 00:56:15,973
[cell phone ringing]
1191
00:56:20,877 --> 00:56:22,112
Andy?
1192
00:56:22,579 --> 00:56:23,847
No. This is Louis.
1193
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:25,882
Oh. Good.
1194
00:56:25,916 --> 00:56:27,217
We met on Sunday...
1195
00:56:27,251 --> 00:56:30,454
Yeah, I remember you.
You called me an idiot.
1196
00:56:30,487 --> 00:56:32,656
Yeah.
Anyway, have you seen Andy?
1197
00:56:35,559 --> 00:56:36,927
Not recently.
1198
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:40,197
'Cause I'm here
at his house right now.
1199
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:43,100
I, I, I... He wasn't returning
my phone calls so I came here.
1200
00:56:43,133 --> 00:56:44,568
And his front door was unlocked,
1201
00:56:44,601 --> 00:56:46,069
and his phone
was just sitting here.
1202
00:56:47,204 --> 00:56:49,139
You were the last
person to see him.
1203
00:56:50,907 --> 00:56:52,843
Is he mad at me?
1204
00:56:52,876 --> 00:56:54,611
Did he say anything?
1205
00:56:54,645 --> 00:56:55,912
Or is he... avoiding me?
1206
00:56:55,946 --> 00:56:57,781
I shouldn't answer that.
1207
00:56:58,882 --> 00:57:00,050
So he's mad at me.
1208
00:57:00,083 --> 00:57:03,153
Okay, is he with you right now?
Can you please put him on?
1209
00:57:03,186 --> 00:57:05,155
No, he's not here.
1210
00:57:05,188 --> 00:57:06,790
Just ask him what I did.
1211
00:57:06,823 --> 00:57:08,525
[stutters]
Just put him on.
1212
00:57:08,558 --> 00:57:10,060
Just forget about him Louis.
1213
00:57:10,093 --> 00:57:12,162
I didn't do anything!
1214
00:57:12,195 --> 00:57:14,031
I don't want
to talk to you anymore.
1215
00:57:14,064 --> 00:57:15,899
Joe, you're freaking me out.
1216
00:57:15,932 --> 00:57:17,501
Goodbye Louis.
1217
00:57:17,534 --> 00:57:18,769
Joe!
1218
00:57:27,311 --> 00:57:30,714
You've killed 7 people?
1219
00:57:30,747 --> 00:57:34,751
(Joe)
Well, 8 if you count
our house keeper Elsa.
1220
00:57:34,785 --> 00:57:36,720
Are you joking?
1221
00:57:36,753 --> 00:57:39,856
No.
1222
00:57:39,890 --> 00:57:42,726
You know, I don't know
if you are fantasizing or not,
1223
00:57:42,759 --> 00:57:45,696
but either way, we have got
to get you back in here.
1224
00:57:45,729 --> 00:57:47,631
All right,
because I need to evaluate
1225
00:57:47,664 --> 00:57:49,766
these thoughts
that you're having.
1226
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,902
Why didn't you just tell me
if I killed people,
1227
00:57:51,935 --> 00:57:53,503
I'd feel normal?
1228
00:57:55,339 --> 00:57:58,175
Okay Joe, what is that look?
1229
00:57:58,208 --> 00:58:01,044
This is the look you give
before you kill someone.
1230
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:05,749
After all that
I've done for you,
1231
00:58:05,782 --> 00:58:07,050
and all the help
I've given you,
1232
00:58:07,084 --> 00:58:08,819
you would kill me?
1233
00:58:10,354 --> 00:58:11,688
Yeah.
1234
00:58:12,889 --> 00:58:14,224
Why?
1235
00:58:15,625 --> 00:58:16,993
Well,
1236
00:58:17,027 --> 00:58:20,297
I guess it's
just because I want to.
1237
00:58:20,330 --> 00:58:22,733
I'm sorry if that's
not good enough.
1238
00:58:23,300 --> 00:58:26,103
I wish I had
a more profound answer.
1239
00:58:26,803 --> 00:58:27,938
Joe.
1240
00:58:27,971 --> 00:58:29,039
[yells]
1241
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:30,907
[choking sounds]
1242
00:58:32,976 --> 00:58:35,245
[struggling to breathe]
1243
00:58:35,278 --> 00:58:37,247
(George)
He is SO into me.
1244
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,548
(Barnes)
Yea?
1245
00:58:38,582 --> 00:58:40,117
(George)
Yeah, I feel like,
he would do anything for me.
1246
00:58:40,150 --> 00:58:41,752
Like, anything.
1247
00:58:44,955 --> 00:58:47,257
There's one problem though,
two problems really.
1248
00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:49,159
Alright, here's
the George I know.
1249
00:58:49,192 --> 00:58:51,128
Well, we haven't really
done anything sexual yet.
1250
00:58:51,161 --> 00:58:52,329
You haven't put your
fingers in his butt yet?
1251
00:58:52,362 --> 00:58:53,263
-No.
-Hmm.
1252
00:58:53,296 --> 00:58:55,165
Andy has this really
dark sense of humor.
1253
00:58:55,198 --> 00:58:56,833
Like, he's always joking
about killing people.
1254
00:58:56,867 --> 00:58:57,601
Who?
1255
00:58:57,634 --> 00:58:58,702
ME?!
1256
00:58:58,735 --> 00:58:59,870
No. Not you.
1257
00:58:59,903 --> 00:59:02,339
But like, the other day he
said he was gonna kill Teddy
1258
00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:03,974
because he was jealous of him.
1259
00:59:04,007 --> 00:59:04,875
Hmm.
1260
00:59:04,908 --> 00:59:06,109
At first I thought
it was funny, right?
1261
00:59:06,143 --> 00:59:07,310
But now it's like, I get it.
1262
00:59:07,344 --> 00:59:10,013
Okay, so he keeps talking about
killing all your friends?
1263
00:59:10,046 --> 00:59:11,648
Yea, and his parents.
1264
00:59:12,349 --> 00:59:13,917
That's not what people do.
1265
00:59:13,950 --> 00:59:15,018
That's like, scary.
1266
00:59:15,051 --> 00:59:16,086
Well he's not scary...
1267
00:59:16,119 --> 00:59:16,920
he's gorgeous.
1268
00:59:16,953 --> 00:59:18,855
He just has a weird
sense of humor.
1269
00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:20,991
And it's the joke we met on,
so it's sort of his thing.
1270
00:59:21,024 --> 00:59:22,626
When people tell you
who they are,
1271
00:59:22,659 --> 00:59:24,060
you're supposed to believe them.
1272
00:59:24,094 --> 00:59:26,396
Did you just quote Oprah on me?
1273
00:59:26,430 --> 00:59:27,931
It's actually Maya Angelou.
1274
00:59:27,964 --> 00:59:30,000
But honestly George,
you have to stop doing this.
1275
00:59:30,033 --> 00:59:31,168
Doing what?
1276
00:59:31,201 --> 00:59:33,203
Your relationships never last.
1277
00:59:33,236 --> 00:59:35,005
You lose your head over some guy
1278
00:59:35,038 --> 00:59:37,274
and fifteen minutes later
we never hear about him again.
1279
00:59:37,307 --> 00:59:41,244
Honestly, I can't invest
in someone you care about
1280
00:59:41,278 --> 00:59:44,047
because I feel like
it's never a REAL relationship.
1281
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:46,650
Oh, so what,
I'm supposed to be like you?
1282
00:59:46,683 --> 00:59:48,251
You were with Oli for what,
a year, and why,
1283
00:59:48,285 --> 00:59:49,986
because you were
too lazy to end it,
1284
00:59:50,020 --> 00:59:51,721
or were you just
too afraid of being alone?
1285
00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:53,123
-George.
-No, I want an answer.
1286
00:59:53,156 --> 00:59:55,692
-Were you too lazy to end it?
-That's not fair.
1287
00:59:55,725 --> 00:59:56,626
No, what's not fair,
1288
00:59:56,660 --> 00:59:58,995
is you putting all
your baggage onto ME!
1289
00:59:59,029 --> 01:00:01,064
-Knock knock.
-Hi.
1290
01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:02,365
Here she is, boys.
1291
01:00:04,868 --> 01:00:06,937
Hey Barnes, I'm sorry
about you and Oli.
1292
01:00:06,970 --> 01:00:08,371
Oh, I'm glad you guys
could make it.
1293
01:00:08,405 --> 01:00:10,106
You guys didn't bring
ice by any chance, did you?
1294
01:00:10,140 --> 01:00:11,241
No.
Were we supposed to?
1295
01:00:11,274 --> 01:00:12,442
No.
1296
01:00:12,476 --> 01:00:14,144
Gretchen was supposed to,
but she never texted me back.
1297
01:00:14,177 --> 01:00:15,445
Oh, that fuckin' bitch.
1298
01:00:15,479 --> 01:00:17,180
Do you have a wine opener?
1299
01:00:17,214 --> 01:00:18,815
Don't need ice for Chardonnay.
1300
01:00:18,849 --> 01:00:19,783
"You don't need ice
for Chardonnay,
1301
01:00:19,816 --> 01:00:22,285
-the Cameron Lipsky story".
-You know it.
1302
01:00:22,319 --> 01:00:24,054
(Barnes)
Bottle opener should
be in that drawer behind you.
1303
01:00:24,087 --> 01:00:26,823
It's so nice to get together
and not have to play a game.
1304
01:00:26,857 --> 01:00:28,225
I'm sorry,
could it be somewhere else?
1305
01:00:28,258 --> 01:00:30,060
I don't know, George
have you seen the wine opener?
1306
01:00:30,093 --> 01:00:31,127
-No.
-I mean, if you guys
1307
01:00:31,161 --> 01:00:32,996
do want to play a game,
I could be talked into it.
1308
01:00:33,029 --> 01:00:35,065
-Barnes invited Louis.
-Did he?
1309
01:00:35,098 --> 01:00:36,933
(Emma)
Oh, that's nice, we never
1310
01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:38,368
-we never all hang out anymore.
-These are plates.
1311
01:00:38,401 --> 01:00:39,069
OH!
1312
01:00:39,102 --> 01:00:40,770
Did I tell you guys about Andy?
1313
01:00:40,804 --> 01:00:41,872
Who's Andy?
1314
01:00:41,905 --> 01:00:44,407
Oh you know Andy, Andy Lovell,
The hot, hunky guy.
1315
01:00:44,441 --> 01:00:45,342
Louis's ex.
1316
01:00:45,375 --> 01:00:47,043
Yeah, Louis was so
totally fixated on him.
1317
01:00:47,077 --> 01:00:50,113
So...
[makes a fanfare noise]
1318
01:00:50,146 --> 01:00:52,182
I finally started
seeing someone.
1319
01:00:52,215 --> 01:00:54,484
At work, this guy Glen,
1320
01:00:54,518 --> 01:00:56,953
And, I wrote a song for him.
1321
01:00:56,987 --> 01:00:58,455
So, do you have one of
those things where you can
1322
01:00:58,488 --> 01:01:00,190
just plug the speaker
into my iPhone,
1323
01:01:00,223 --> 01:01:01,391
and I could just
play it for you guys?
1324
01:01:01,424 --> 01:01:03,260
Anyway,
Andy is missing.
1325
01:01:03,293 --> 01:01:06,329
Like your fucking wine opener!
1326
01:01:06,363 --> 01:01:07,197
(Barnes)
Missing?
1327
01:01:07,230 --> 01:01:08,331
Yea, no one has
seen him for a while.
1328
01:01:08,365 --> 01:01:10,500
You know, that explains it
because I sent him a video
1329
01:01:10,534 --> 01:01:11,601
and he hasn't
even liked it yet.
1330
01:01:11,635 --> 01:01:13,837
Yeah, he was supposed to
go to Berlin on a work trip.
1331
01:01:13,870 --> 01:01:15,739
Aw. I wanna go to Berlin.
1332
01:01:15,772 --> 01:01:17,173
Yeah, well Louis
is freaking out,
1333
01:01:17,207 --> 01:01:19,442
but then again, he always
freaks out about everything...
1334
01:01:19,476 --> 01:01:20,810
Ah, look, I found it!
1335
01:01:20,844 --> 01:01:21,811
What? Oh, thank God!
1336
01:01:21,845 --> 01:01:23,513
Oh, have you guys heard
about George's new love?
1337
01:01:23,547 --> 01:01:24,948
I am not in love.
1338
01:01:24,981 --> 01:01:27,350
Ooh...
Who's the guy, George?
1339
01:01:27,384 --> 01:01:30,120
His name is Joe,
and he's super weird.
1340
01:01:31,054 --> 01:01:32,389
He isn't weird.
1341
01:01:32,422 --> 01:01:35,292
-Okay, he's a little weird.
-He is super creepy.
1342
01:01:35,325 --> 01:01:37,360
You know Barnes,
I wish you'd just stop.
1343
01:01:37,394 --> 01:01:38,428
He's really sweet,
1344
01:01:38,461 --> 01:01:39,863
and he's the first guy
I've dated in a long time
1345
01:01:39,896 --> 01:01:41,064
that I actually like,
1346
01:01:41,097 --> 01:01:44,134
so for once can you just drop
the bitchy gay guy shtick?
1347
01:01:49,105 --> 01:01:51,341
Oh my fucking God,
1348
01:01:51,374 --> 01:01:53,009
it was a twist off.
1349
01:01:57,147 --> 01:01:58,281
(Joe)
Hey Louis.
1350
01:01:58,315 --> 01:02:00,483
Joe?
What are you doing here?
1351
01:02:02,886 --> 01:02:04,788
Why are you
looking at me like that?
1352
01:02:06,356 --> 01:02:09,125
-Is Andy here?
-No.
1353
01:02:09,159 --> 01:02:10,226
But I don't think
it's a good idea
1354
01:02:10,260 --> 01:02:11,962
if you go inside.
1355
01:02:11,995 --> 01:02:13,330
Why?
1356
01:02:13,363 --> 01:02:15,131
I'm seeing this new guy.
1357
01:02:16,032 --> 01:02:19,102
Wait, you're not
seeing Andy anymore?
1358
01:02:19,135 --> 01:02:20,337
No.
1359
01:02:22,872 --> 01:02:24,574
Actually, could you
stand right over here?
1360
01:02:24,608 --> 01:02:26,810
I thought you...
1361
01:02:26,843 --> 01:02:29,479
Well, you know Andy and I
used to be together.
1362
01:02:29,512 --> 01:02:32,082
Could you stand just on
the other side of the bricks?
1363
01:02:33,316 --> 01:02:35,185
What? No. Why?
1364
01:02:35,218 --> 01:02:37,020
Well, I just thought
it'd be easier
1365
01:02:37,053 --> 01:02:39,255
if you weren't right
in front of the window, but...
1366
01:02:40,190 --> 01:02:41,558
What would be easier?
1367
01:02:45,862 --> 01:02:47,163
[whacking sound]
1368
01:02:48,064 --> 01:02:50,367
♪
1369
01:02:53,103 --> 01:02:54,938
[blender sounds]
1370
01:02:54,971 --> 01:02:56,406
George, what's your
guy's name again?
1371
01:02:56,439 --> 01:02:59,042
-Joe Palmer.
-What?
1372
01:03:00,577 --> 01:03:02,345
Joe Palmer.
1373
01:03:02,379 --> 01:03:03,480
Joe Palmer?
1374
01:03:03,513 --> 01:03:04,914
That sounds so familiar.
1375
01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:06,216
-He loves our videos.
-Really?
1376
01:03:06,249 --> 01:03:07,283
Oh, Joe Palmer.
1377
01:03:07,317 --> 01:03:09,552
He was at Louis's game
night last week with Andy.
1378
01:03:09,586 --> 01:03:10,353
Yes!
1379
01:03:10,387 --> 01:03:12,288
You guys played games
last week?
1380
01:03:12,322 --> 01:03:14,324
Well yeah,
well he was dating Andy.
1381
01:03:14,357 --> 01:03:17,060
Yeah, before Andy disappeared
off the face of the Earth.
1382
01:03:17,093 --> 01:03:18,428
Joe Palmer was dating Andy?
1383
01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:19,696
-Yeah.
-Oh, wow George.
1384
01:03:19,729 --> 01:03:24,034
So, the guy you're dating who
jokes about murder all the time
1385
01:03:24,067 --> 01:03:25,435
has an ex who disappeared?
1386
01:03:25,468 --> 01:03:27,437
-Oh that's nice.
-Wow.
1387
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:29,305
Barnes is just
trying to start shit.
1388
01:03:29,339 --> 01:03:31,007
No I'm not,
I'm not trying to start shit.
1389
01:03:31,041 --> 01:03:33,043
I'm just pointing out that
the guy you're obsessed with
1390
01:03:33,076 --> 01:03:34,611
is kind of a freak!
1391
01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:37,213
Joe, you're here!
Sorry.
1392
01:03:38,615 --> 01:03:40,383
Hey, you got
something on your face.
1393
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:44,954
Got it.
[chuckles]
1394
01:03:45,955 --> 01:03:47,891
So, I guess you guys
all know each other.
1395
01:03:47,924 --> 01:03:51,094
-Yeah, from um...last week.
-Hi.
1396
01:03:51,127 --> 01:03:53,897
Hey Joe.
Andy's missing.
1397
01:03:53,930 --> 01:03:56,299
Okay I know we said no games,
but let's play
Card Rule,
1398
01:03:56,332 --> 01:03:57,934
til Gretchen and Teddy get here.
1399
01:03:57,967 --> 01:04:01,905
Oh Jesus, I hate that game.
Can't we just drink?
1400
01:04:01,938 --> 01:04:03,907
I didn't know you dated Andy.
1401
01:04:03,940 --> 01:04:05,675
Yeah, I told you about him.
1402
01:04:05,709 --> 01:04:08,445
Yeah, I guess I just
didn't realize I knew him.
1403
01:04:09,679 --> 01:04:11,481
Joe, have you
played this before?
1404
01:04:11,514 --> 01:04:12,549
[giggles]
1405
01:04:12,582 --> 01:04:14,551
I don't think so.
1406
01:04:14,584 --> 01:04:16,553
(Cameron)
Barnes, you made up this game.
1407
01:04:16,586 --> 01:04:18,054
It's okay,
we'll play as a team.
1408
01:04:18,088 --> 01:04:19,556
-No teams.
-Yeah, no teams.
1409
01:04:19,589 --> 01:04:21,357
It's basically like war,
but if you play an Ace
1410
01:04:21,391 --> 01:04:22,959
you can't speak
for an entire round.
1411
01:04:22,992 --> 01:04:24,294
It's easy.
You'll get it.
1412
01:04:24,327 --> 01:04:25,562
Barnes you go first.
1413
01:04:26,963 --> 01:04:28,298
Barnes!
1414
01:04:28,331 --> 01:04:29,566
I'm flushing out the good cards.
1415
01:04:29,599 --> 01:04:31,000
Ugh!
1416
01:04:31,735 --> 01:04:33,603
Sorry Cameron.
1417
01:04:33,636 --> 01:04:35,171
You can't talk!
1418
01:04:35,205 --> 01:04:36,539
She can't talk
til the next round,
1419
01:04:36,573 --> 01:04:37,373
but she's not out.
1420
01:04:37,407 --> 01:04:39,375
If you play an ace,
you can't talk.
1421
01:04:39,409 --> 01:04:40,510
I get it.
1422
01:04:40,543 --> 01:04:41,511
Not to worry!
1423
01:04:41,544 --> 01:04:43,580
What? Boom!
1424
01:04:43,613 --> 01:04:45,248
Oh, you can't talk.
1425
01:04:45,281 --> 01:04:48,351
Okay, my turn,
oh triple whammy!
1426
01:04:48,384 --> 01:04:50,220
Oh...
1427
01:04:50,253 --> 01:04:52,222
-I can't believe...
-No talking!
1428
01:04:54,157 --> 01:04:55,425
Uh...
1429
01:04:55,458 --> 01:04:56,626
What if I don't have an Ace?
1430
01:04:56,659 --> 01:04:57,460
If you don't have an ace,
1431
01:04:57,494 --> 01:04:58,728
you have to pick up
the whole pile.
1432
01:04:58,762 --> 01:05:00,063
-Pick it up.
-Shhhh!
1433
01:05:01,664 --> 01:05:05,068
[mouthing directions to play]
1434
01:05:16,312 --> 01:05:18,114
Hey, where are
Gretchen and Teddy?
1435
01:05:19,149 --> 01:05:20,683
They're dead.
1436
01:05:20,717 --> 01:05:22,352
[snickering]
1437
01:05:23,553 --> 01:05:24,621
We killed them.
1438
01:05:24,654 --> 01:05:26,222
Well, I killed them.
1439
01:05:26,256 --> 01:05:27,390
(George)
I told you guys.
1440
01:05:27,423 --> 01:05:29,225
He has a twisted sense of humor.
1441
01:05:29,259 --> 01:05:30,059
(Cameron)
No talking!
1442
01:05:30,093 --> 01:05:31,494
You're strange, Joe.
1443
01:05:31,528 --> 01:05:33,363
You don't look
like you're joking.
1444
01:05:35,532 --> 01:05:36,599
-I'm not joking.
-You know what,
1445
01:05:36,633 --> 01:05:38,268
I don't think that's very funny.
1446
01:05:38,301 --> 01:05:40,036
(George)
Okay Joe...
-And George, you can't talk.
1447
01:05:41,037 --> 01:05:42,572
Joe, it's your turn.
1448
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:46,276
I have all the cards.
1449
01:05:46,309 --> 01:05:48,645
So why don't you play them?
1450
01:05:56,820 --> 01:05:58,721
[chuckles]
Okay...
1451
01:05:58,755 --> 01:06:00,690
Well that didn't make any sense.
1452
01:06:00,723 --> 01:06:02,525
You put down an Ace,
which means you can't talk...
1453
01:06:02,559 --> 01:06:05,361
You know what,
doesn't matter, I'll pick it up.
1454
01:06:06,429 --> 01:06:08,331
Yay! I can talk again.
1455
01:06:08,364 --> 01:06:10,200
I'm sorry, I just
have to say something.
1456
01:06:10,233 --> 01:06:12,435
This game makes
zero sense to me,
1457
01:06:12,468 --> 01:06:14,103
I have no idea
what's happening.
1458
01:06:14,137 --> 01:06:15,038
Yeah, it's fine,
1459
01:06:15,071 --> 01:06:15,705
we don't have to play
the game anymore.
1460
01:06:15,738 --> 01:06:17,507
Oh thank God.
Thank you.
1461
01:06:17,540 --> 01:06:18,741
[breathing sighs of relief]
1462
01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:24,447
(Emma)
Hey, that's mine!
1463
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:27,250
You know what, I'm gonna go
make some more drinks.
1464
01:06:28,484 --> 01:06:30,486
Can I play my new song
for you guys?
1465
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:33,423
No, but I can show
you pictures from Cancun?
1466
01:06:33,456 --> 01:06:34,691
Okay.
1467
01:06:38,828 --> 01:06:40,597
Can I help you
with something Joe?
1468
01:06:43,700 --> 01:06:46,202
I'm just getting
a glass of water.
1469
01:06:46,736 --> 01:06:48,438
The glasses are in
the cabinet right there.
1470
01:06:51,708 --> 01:06:53,576
You just needed a glass, right?
1471
01:06:54,611 --> 01:06:56,379
Hey.
1472
01:06:56,412 --> 01:06:58,615
Let's go upstairs.
1473
01:06:58,648 --> 01:06:59,816
Okay.
[chuckles]
1474
01:07:06,322 --> 01:07:08,091
Where are you guys going?
1475
01:07:09,592 --> 01:07:13,363
Ewww, you guys
are guests in this house.
1476
01:07:13,396 --> 01:07:14,631
That's very rude.
1477
01:07:16,866 --> 01:07:20,336
-Ooh, ooh, me too!
-Okay, okay, calm down.
1478
01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:21,571
You guys,
what was that?
1479
01:07:21,604 --> 01:07:22,639
What was what?
1480
01:07:22,672 --> 01:07:23,573
That was extremely creepy,
right?
1481
01:07:23,606 --> 01:07:25,541
You think you might
be a little jealous?
1482
01:07:25,575 --> 01:07:26,442
Jealous?
1483
01:07:26,476 --> 01:07:27,543
Of Joe?
1484
01:07:27,577 --> 01:07:29,612
No, I'm not jealous of Joe.
1485
01:07:29,646 --> 01:07:31,814
No, I meant you're
jealous of George.
1486
01:07:31,848 --> 01:07:33,616
No, I'm not jealous of anyone.
1487
01:07:33,650 --> 01:07:37,120
Oh my God,
you're jealous of Joe?
1488
01:07:37,153 --> 01:07:39,322
-You like George?
-No, Oh my God!
1489
01:07:39,355 --> 01:07:40,456
No, I'm not jealous.
1490
01:07:40,490 --> 01:07:42,725
Oh my God,
you're SO jealous of George!
1491
01:07:42,759 --> 01:07:45,295
No, that's the thing,
he's jealous of Joe!
1492
01:07:45,328 --> 01:07:47,363
-What?!
-You guys are stupid.
1493
01:08:03,646 --> 01:08:05,515
This is Barnes' bedroom, huh?
1494
01:08:05,548 --> 01:08:07,317
Um hmmm.
1495
01:08:08,818 --> 01:08:11,187
He must like art.
1496
01:08:11,220 --> 01:08:12,822
I guess, yeah.
1497
01:08:15,291 --> 01:08:18,461
So did you tell Barnes
about what we've done?
1498
01:08:18,494 --> 01:08:20,163
About what?
1499
01:08:21,564 --> 01:08:22,832
All the killings.
1500
01:08:24,467 --> 01:08:27,203
How about we stop
with the killing stuff?
1501
01:08:27,236 --> 01:08:28,538
What do you mean?
1502
01:08:28,972 --> 01:08:30,440
The killing stuff
1503
01:08:31,341 --> 01:08:33,509
is not that funny.
1504
01:08:35,445 --> 01:08:36,879
I'm very confused.
1505
01:08:39,349 --> 01:08:41,751
Here... kiss me.
1506
01:08:41,951 --> 01:08:43,419
You're in such a hurry.
1507
01:08:43,453 --> 01:08:45,555
Can we finish our conversation?
1508
01:08:47,223 --> 01:08:49,225
I, I...
1509
01:08:49,258 --> 01:08:50,593
I'm feeling weird.
1510
01:08:50,893 --> 01:08:52,161
No.
1511
01:08:53,229 --> 01:08:54,530
Shut up Joe.
1512
01:08:58,368 --> 01:09:00,303
Get off of me!
1513
01:09:02,005 --> 01:09:04,407
[laughs]
1514
01:09:04,841 --> 01:09:07,477
(George)
What is wrong with you?
1515
01:09:07,510 --> 01:09:08,611
[laughing]
1516
01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:12,682
(George)
Okay, what the fuck was that?!
1517
01:09:12,715 --> 01:09:14,517
What did I do?
1518
01:09:14,550 --> 01:09:16,285
Hello...
1519
01:09:18,554 --> 01:09:19,856
Joe!
1520
01:09:20,390 --> 01:09:21,657
[hamster squeaking]
1521
01:09:21,758 --> 01:09:22,925
What are you doing?
1522
01:09:25,661 --> 01:09:26,662
Joe.
1523
01:09:27,563 --> 01:09:28,731
[hamster squeaking]
Joe!
1524
01:09:28,765 --> 01:09:30,433
Fucking stop!
1525
01:09:32,769 --> 01:09:34,537
Barnes, get up here!
1526
01:09:35,438 --> 01:09:37,473
Barnes! Barnes!
1527
01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:38,674
Fucking stop!
1528
01:09:38,708 --> 01:09:40,810
You're fucking killing her!
1529
01:09:40,843 --> 01:09:42,912
Barnes,
he's squishing Meryl Streep.
1530
01:09:43,679 --> 01:09:45,782
-Let her go!
-Barnes!
1531
01:09:46,282 --> 01:09:47,817
-Barnes stop!
-Meryl!
1532
01:09:47,850 --> 01:09:48,918
Joe?
1533
01:09:48,951 --> 01:09:50,653
-He's crazy, he's fucking crazy.
-He's not breathing.
1534
01:09:50,686 --> 01:09:52,622
-Joe?
-He killed Meryl.
1535
01:09:52,655 --> 01:09:53,589
Oh my God!
1536
01:09:53,623 --> 01:09:55,992
Oh my God,
call the police!
1537
01:09:56,025 --> 01:09:59,562
I mean ambulance. Go!
1538
01:10:00,630 --> 01:10:01,764
Oh my God. Oh my God.
1539
01:10:01,798 --> 01:10:03,733
-I think he's dead!
-Oh my God!
1540
01:10:03,766 --> 01:10:06,803
But he killed my hamster.
[hamster squeaks]
1541
01:10:07,370 --> 01:10:09,305
I don't know
the number for an ambulance,
1542
01:10:09,338 --> 01:10:10,473
do you just dial 911?
1543
01:10:10,506 --> 01:10:12,642
-i don't know what you dial.
-No.
1544
01:10:12,675 --> 01:10:13,076
Just wait.
1545
01:10:13,109 --> 01:10:13,843
What happened?
1546
01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:14,977
He hit me.
1547
01:10:15,011 --> 01:10:16,712
(Cameron)
So you killed him?
1548
01:10:16,746 --> 01:10:17,580
Barnes did.
1549
01:10:17,613 --> 01:10:18,381
We need to call
an ambulance right now.
1550
01:10:18,414 --> 01:10:19,982
You weren't here,
he went crazy,
1551
01:10:20,016 --> 01:10:21,484
he was crushing her.
1552
01:10:21,517 --> 01:10:22,418
Joe went crazy?
1553
01:10:22,452 --> 01:10:23,920
You guys, we need
to call an ambulance.
1554
01:10:23,953 --> 01:10:26,022
They've got to help us.
They've go to...
1555
01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:27,557
(Barnes)
{end-italic}Cameron!
1556
01:10:27,657 --> 01:10:29,926
He's fucking dead all right?
He's not breathing.
1557
01:10:29,959 --> 01:10:32,762
I fucking killed him.
We can't call anybody.
1558
01:10:36,332 --> 01:10:37,934
Hey you guys, um...
1559
01:10:37,967 --> 01:10:41,471
me and Cameron are just
going to take a second.
1560
01:10:41,504 --> 01:10:42,705
-Yeah.
-What?
1561
01:10:42,738 --> 01:10:44,006
Yeah, we're going
to go downstairs
1562
01:10:44,040 --> 01:10:45,842
and have
a private conversation.
1563
01:10:52,949 --> 01:10:54,951
Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait... did...
1564
01:10:54,984 --> 01:10:57,687
Oh my God,
Oh my God, Oh my God!
1565
01:10:57,720 --> 01:11:00,323
Did Barnes kill Joe
because he's jealous?
1566
01:11:00,356 --> 01:11:02,558
What? No! God.
1567
01:11:02,592 --> 01:11:04,694
-Okay.
-I don't know.
1568
01:11:04,727 --> 01:11:07,797
Cameron, this is going
to sound crazy, but
1569
01:11:07,830 --> 01:11:09,565
is this some kind
of conspiracy,
1570
01:11:09,599 --> 01:11:11,767
like, is this a comspiracy
that's happening?
1571
01:11:11,801 --> 01:11:13,503
Are you, are you,
where are you right now?
1572
01:11:13,536 --> 01:11:15,404
I don't...
we're calling 911.
1573
01:11:15,771 --> 01:11:17,773
-He kills small animals.
-What?
1574
01:11:18,407 --> 01:11:19,876
That was one of the things
he used to joke about.
1575
01:11:19,909 --> 01:11:21,010
He does taxidermy.
1576
01:11:21,043 --> 01:11:22,111
He doesn't joke.
1577
01:11:22,145 --> 01:11:23,880
What are you talking about?
1578
01:11:23,913 --> 01:11:24,814
Call Teddy and Gretchen.
1579
01:11:24,847 --> 01:11:25,615
What?
1580
01:11:25,648 --> 01:11:26,382
Just call them please!
1581
01:11:26,415 --> 01:11:28,050
I'm not calling them
right now.
1582
01:11:28,084 --> 01:11:29,485
Fucking call them!!
1583
01:11:29,519 --> 01:11:30,653
George! I am not calling them,
1584
01:11:30,686 --> 01:11:31,654
they don't have anything
to do with this.
1585
01:11:31,687 --> 01:11:33,523
He could have killed them!
1586
01:11:33,556 --> 01:11:34,090
What?
1587
01:11:34,123 --> 01:11:35,458
Just call them please.
1588
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:38,127
Hey, it's me...
1589
01:11:38,161 --> 01:11:39,862
Um... I just have a quick
question for you.
1590
01:11:39,896 --> 01:11:42,832
Um...
[exhales]
1591
01:11:42,865 --> 01:11:45,034
So if you...
1592
01:11:45,067 --> 01:11:47,136
if you see somebody
murder someone,
1593
01:11:47,170 --> 01:11:49,839
and you don't turn in the
person who did the murdering,
1594
01:11:49,872 --> 01:11:50,940
what happens to you?
1595
01:11:50,973 --> 01:11:54,377
Or what happens to like,
you and your friend, do you,
1596
01:11:54,410 --> 01:11:56,679
-do you like, go to jail or...?
-Is that the police?
1597
01:11:57,113 --> 01:11:58,414
Call me as soon as you can.
1598
01:11:58,447 --> 01:11:59,715
What the fuck Emma?!
1599
01:11:59,749 --> 01:12:01,517
It's my brother.
He's really smart.
1600
01:12:01,551 --> 01:12:03,586
-What?
-He's almost a lawyer Cam.
1601
01:12:03,619 --> 01:12:05,121
That was his voicemail?!
1602
01:12:05,154 --> 01:12:07,723
Yes, he wasn't answering
he's probably at work.
1603
01:12:10,493 --> 01:12:12,461
Why would he
kill his parents?
1604
01:12:12,495 --> 01:12:13,963
I don't know.
1605
01:12:13,996 --> 01:12:15,998
Because they were rude to me?
1606
01:12:16,032 --> 01:12:21,003
-If what he told me is true...
-Wait, what about Oli?
1607
01:12:21,037 --> 01:12:24,574
No, just his parents,
1608
01:12:24,607 --> 01:12:26,409
and Teddy and Gretchen.
1609
01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:29,445
I knew there was
something wrong with him.
1610
01:12:30,546 --> 01:12:32,848
Can you go to jail
for killing an insane person?
1611
01:12:32,882 --> 01:12:36,419
I don't know.
I think so.
1612
01:12:36,452 --> 01:12:40,423
If he killed both his parents,
and he doesn't have any friends,
1613
01:12:40,456 --> 01:12:42,458
then no one knows he's here
and we can just...
1614
01:12:42,491 --> 01:12:43,526
get rid of the body.
1615
01:12:43,559 --> 01:12:44,961
-How?
-I don't know.
1616
01:12:44,994 --> 01:12:46,596
Dump his body somewhere
or something.
1617
01:12:46,629 --> 01:12:48,164
Are you serious?
We can't do that.
1618
01:12:48,197 --> 01:12:50,566
George, I just fucking
killed him, I could go to jail!
1619
01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:52,635
You knew that
he was killing people,
1620
01:12:52,668 --> 01:12:53,903
and you didn't even
call the police.
1621
01:12:53,936 --> 01:12:55,104
I didn't know he was serious.
1622
01:12:55,137 --> 01:12:56,472
Who's gonna believe that?
1623
01:12:57,240 --> 01:12:59,842
This whole thing could
ruin both our lives.
1624
01:12:59,875 --> 01:13:05,481
Or, we could just,
make it go away.
1625
01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:10,086
Come on, come on...
1626
01:13:10,853 --> 01:13:11,854
Come on answer!
1627
01:13:11,887 --> 01:13:13,089
I've been on hold.
I swear to God,
1628
01:13:13,122 --> 01:13:15,658
it's rung like 27 times,
and they put me on hold,
1629
01:13:15,691 --> 01:13:16,892
like, what if there was a fire?
1630
01:13:16,926 --> 01:13:18,527
Cameron, hang up.
1631
01:13:18,794 --> 01:13:20,096
We can't just call the police,
1632
01:13:20,129 --> 01:13:21,764
and not tell them
we're calling the police.
1633
01:13:21,797 --> 01:13:23,132
We have to give them
the chance to realize
1634
01:13:23,165 --> 01:13:24,767
it's the right thing to do.
1635
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:27,136
Come on, man,
they're our friends.
1636
01:13:30,506 --> 01:13:32,742
[phone rings]
1637
01:13:33,009 --> 01:13:34,877
Hello?
1638
01:13:34,910 --> 01:13:35,745
It's 911!
1639
01:13:35,778 --> 01:13:37,813
What?
Why did you answer the phone?
1640
01:13:37,847 --> 01:13:39,782
I thought it would
be my brother.
1641
01:13:39,815 --> 01:13:42,084
[in fake accent]
Hello, thank you for calling,
1642
01:13:42,118 --> 01:13:45,187
I wanted you to know
my neighbor's dog
1643
01:13:45,221 --> 01:13:50,092
is very barky and loud,
and is driving me crazy.
1644
01:13:51,727 --> 01:13:56,565
Um hmm...yes...okay,
thank you.
1645
01:13:58,267 --> 01:13:59,201
That was really good.
1646
01:13:59,235 --> 01:14:01,237
She was really mean.
1647
01:14:04,273 --> 01:14:06,776
Come on guys, we're
going to Griffith park.
1648
01:14:12,615 --> 01:14:13,683
[trunk slams]
1649
01:14:20,990 --> 01:14:22,024
(Radio Announcer)
Investigators
are linking the blaze
1650
01:14:22,058 --> 01:14:23,292
to a cover up of the murder
1651
01:14:23,326 --> 01:14:25,961
of District Attorney,
James Palmer and his wife.
1652
01:14:25,995 --> 01:14:27,763
The couple's son,
Joe Palmer, is missing.
1653
01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:29,565
It is estimated
that the fire caused
1654
01:14:29,598 --> 01:14:31,567
over forty-five million
dollars worth of damage
1655
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:33,169
including the home
of Sally Jesse Raphael...
1656
01:14:33,202 --> 01:14:34,970
See? Rauphael.
1657
01:14:35,938 --> 01:14:37,840
An Australian
catamaran is home today...
1658
01:14:37,873 --> 01:14:38,874
[radio clicks off]
1659
01:14:41,777 --> 01:14:43,245
So he really was a killer.
1660
01:14:43,979 --> 01:14:44,814
He killed his parents.
1661
01:14:44,847 --> 01:14:46,582
It's a good thing
to kill a killer.
1662
01:14:46,615 --> 01:14:48,050
I mean, we stopped him, right?
1663
01:14:48,084 --> 01:14:50,953
Okay, I'm sorry,
why are Emma and I here?
1664
01:14:50,986 --> 01:14:53,956
Joe used to joke that you
could take a dead body,
1665
01:14:53,989 --> 01:14:55,591
and leave it in Griffith Park
1666
01:14:55,624 --> 01:14:57,593
and the coyotes
would eat the evidence.
1667
01:14:57,626 --> 01:14:59,795
I mean, at least
I thought he was joking.
1668
01:14:59,829 --> 01:15:00,596
Gross.
1669
01:15:00,629 --> 01:15:03,165
They want animals
to eat his body?
1670
01:15:03,199 --> 01:15:05,167
If they try dragging us
into this shit,
1671
01:15:05,201 --> 01:15:06,736
I'm gonna be SO pissed.
1672
01:15:06,769 --> 01:15:09,705
That stuff I was saying earlier
about a comspiracy...
1673
01:15:09,739 --> 01:15:11,073
I'm just saying.
1674
01:15:12,675 --> 01:15:13,709
Do you guys even know
1675
01:15:13,743 --> 01:15:16,078
if hitting someone with
a laptop would kill them?
1676
01:15:16,112 --> 01:15:18,748
People are harder
to kill than you think.
1677
01:15:20,716 --> 01:15:21,584
What about Andy?
1678
01:15:21,617 --> 01:15:23,119
Andy?
What do you mean?
1679
01:15:23,152 --> 01:15:27,089
I mean, he probably
killed Andy too, right?
1680
01:15:27,123 --> 01:15:29,325
Oh my God.
1681
01:15:29,358 --> 01:15:31,660
I mean, what are we
in the middle of right now?
1682
01:15:31,694 --> 01:15:34,029
Oh my God, you're right.
1683
01:15:34,063 --> 01:15:37,933
He killed Andy.
1684
01:15:37,967 --> 01:15:39,268
And Oli.
1685
01:15:39,301 --> 01:15:41,971
Jesus Christ.
What is happening?!
1686
01:15:42,004 --> 01:15:42,805
(George)
I don't know.
1687
01:15:42,838 --> 01:15:44,039
Then why don't
we call the police?!
1688
01:15:44,073 --> 01:15:46,142
Because I KILLED him Emma!
1689
01:15:46,175 --> 01:15:47,777
I don't want to go to jail!
1690
01:15:47,810 --> 01:15:49,378
Okay Barnes...
just, just,
1691
01:15:49,412 --> 01:15:50,513
just think for a minute...
Okay,
1692
01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:52,148
you know there's no way
we're gonna get away with this.
1693
01:15:52,181 --> 01:15:54,250
Yeah, I am terrible
at keeping secrets.
1694
01:15:54,283 --> 01:15:57,319
-Wasn't it self-defense?
-Kinda...
1695
01:15:57,353 --> 01:15:59,021
What are we suppose to do guys?
1696
01:15:59,054 --> 01:16:01,090
Take his dead body
from the trunk
1697
01:16:01,123 --> 01:16:02,958
and put it back upstairs
in the bedroom?
1698
01:16:02,992 --> 01:16:05,694
No, no, no, I think that's
called tampering with a body.
1699
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:08,697
I mean, that will give you
like two or three years?
1700
01:16:08,731 --> 01:16:09,665
Three.
1701
01:16:09,698 --> 01:16:10,733
Okay, so what is it people do?
1702
01:16:10,766 --> 01:16:12,768
Do they just like take a dead
body to the police
1703
01:16:12,802 --> 01:16:14,303
and drop it off and say,
hey sorry,
1704
01:16:14,336 --> 01:16:16,071
we killed him,
we don't know what to do!
1705
01:16:16,105 --> 01:16:17,173
I mean, that seems nuts.
1706
01:16:17,206 --> 01:16:18,140
But my rationality is
really fucked up right now.
1707
01:16:18,174 --> 01:16:20,309
What's the least
crazy thing to do right now?
1708
01:16:20,342 --> 01:16:21,277
[sneezes]
1709
01:16:21,310 --> 01:16:23,712
I still think
it's taking him to the park.
1710
01:16:24,814 --> 01:16:27,016
So let's just put him
in the fucking park.
1711
01:16:32,254 --> 01:16:34,356
Can I play my song
for you guys?
1712
01:16:38,093 --> 01:16:41,130
[guitar strumming]
1713
01:16:47,102 --> 01:16:51,407
♪ I never knew you'd be
the love of my life ♪
1714
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:55,845
♪ Before you I was living
through nothing but strife. ♪
1715
01:16:55,878 --> 01:16:59,782
♪ I see you every day
At the desk next to mine ♪
1716
01:16:59,815 --> 01:17:01,784
♪ You wear the perfect clothes
1717
01:17:01,817 --> 01:17:04,687
♪ Oh,
And your hair is so fine! ♪
1718
01:17:04,720 --> 01:17:09,725
♪ And someday,
someday, someday Yea. ♪
1719
01:17:09,758 --> 01:17:12,695
♪ Someday, someday, someday.
1720
01:17:12,728 --> 01:17:14,864
♪ You are gonna be mine.
1721
01:17:17,366 --> 01:17:19,268
♪ You're gonna be mine.
1722
01:17:23,205 --> 01:17:27,409
♪ I know fraternizing's
against all the rules. ♪
1723
01:17:27,443 --> 01:17:32,114
♪ But falling in love
turns you into two fools. ♪
1724
01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:35,918
♪ I wish you'd just turn around
and look in my eyes. ♪
1725
01:17:35,951 --> 01:17:38,254
♪ Then you'd see my heart
1726
01:17:38,287 --> 01:17:40,823
♪ which I cannot disguise.
1727
01:17:40,856 --> 01:17:45,861
♪ And someday, someday,
someday. Yea. ♪
1728
01:17:45,895 --> 01:17:49,164
♪ Someday, someday, someday.
1729
01:17:49,198 --> 01:17:50,833
♪ You're gonna be mine.
1730
01:17:53,836 --> 01:17:55,871
♪ You're gonna be mine.
1731
01:17:55,905 --> 01:17:58,073
[guitar strumming]
1732
01:17:59,408 --> 01:18:03,879
♪ I wish you'd take down
that picture of her. ♪
1733
01:18:03,913 --> 01:18:05,447
♪ The one in your cubicle.
1734
01:18:05,481 --> 01:18:08,317
♪ She's wearing a fur.
1735
01:18:08,350 --> 01:18:12,087
♪ And one of these days you
might remember my name. ♪
1736
01:18:12,121 --> 01:18:16,892
♪ You always call me Jenna,
but that's almost the same. ♪
1737
01:18:16,926 --> 01:18:22,064
♪ And someday, someday,
someday. Yea. ♪
1738
01:18:22,097 --> 01:18:25,401
♪ Someday, someday, someday.
1739
01:18:25,434 --> 01:18:26,735
♪ You're gonna be mine.
1740
01:18:29,972 --> 01:18:33,142
♪ You're gonna be mine.
1741
01:18:33,175 --> 01:18:35,444
[guitar strumming]
1742
01:18:40,816 --> 01:18:43,118
He really does call me Jenna.
1743
01:18:43,152 --> 01:18:45,888
This is Glen, right?
1744
01:18:45,921 --> 01:18:46,989
(George)
I liked it.
1745
01:18:47,022 --> 01:18:47,856
[thumping from back of car]
1746
01:18:47,890 --> 01:18:50,326
No, no, no, no!
1747
01:18:50,359 --> 01:18:53,128
Fuck no, NO!
1748
01:18:56,365 --> 01:18:59,268
Come on,
get in the car, George.
1749
01:19:00,569 --> 01:19:02,071
Get in the car George!
1750
01:19:08,310 --> 01:19:10,245
All we have to do
is kill your friends.
1751
01:19:11,246 --> 01:19:14,817
I understand this will be
really hard for you to do.
1752
01:19:15,150 --> 01:19:17,953
But this is
the clean slate we need.
1753
01:19:19,188 --> 01:19:21,090
My parents have
a lake house up north.
1754
01:19:21,123 --> 01:19:22,324
We can live there,
1755
01:19:22,358 --> 01:19:24,326
we can hunt our own food,
1756
01:19:24,360 --> 01:19:26,929
plant a garden.
1757
01:19:26,962 --> 01:19:29,031
I don't have to kill anymore
1758
01:19:29,064 --> 01:19:30,866
if you don't want me to.
1759
01:19:30,899 --> 01:19:32,901
I mean,
after we kill these guys.
1760
01:19:32,935 --> 01:19:34,436
What?!
1761
01:19:34,470 --> 01:19:36,405
I'm in love with you George.
1762
01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:39,475
Wait, what?...
1763
01:19:39,508 --> 01:19:41,043
I know you love me too.
1764
01:19:43,345 --> 01:19:45,514
Did you even like
Beef and Broccoli?
1765
01:19:47,082 --> 01:19:48,484
Yes George.
1766
01:19:50,219 --> 01:19:52,588
I've never lied to you.
1767
01:19:52,621 --> 01:19:54,156
Ever.
1768
01:19:58,293 --> 01:19:59,361
Okay.
1769
01:19:59,962 --> 01:20:01,397
So how should we do it?
1770
01:20:03,232 --> 01:20:04,867
Well,
1771
01:20:07,269 --> 01:20:08,237
I've got lots of knives.
1772
01:20:08,270 --> 01:20:10,606
Oh my God! No!
1773
01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:12,341
George! No!
1774
01:20:12,374 --> 01:20:15,277
Everybody stop,
what's happening?!
1775
01:20:15,310 --> 01:20:17,980
What George,
you're gonna kill us?
1776
01:20:18,013 --> 01:20:19,348
You're not a killer!!
1777
01:20:19,381 --> 01:20:20,449
Are you?
1778
01:20:20,482 --> 01:20:23,919
Yes George, I never thought
you could be the killer
1779
01:20:23,952 --> 01:20:25,587
but I guess now you are.
1780
01:20:25,621 --> 01:20:27,456
Cameron! Wait, stop!
1781
01:20:27,489 --> 01:20:29,124
What's happening?!
1782
01:20:29,158 --> 01:20:31,593
That's crazy,
you're not serious!
1783
01:20:31,627 --> 01:20:33,295
You can't be serious.
1784
01:20:33,328 --> 01:20:35,531
Look, I know I said earlier
this was a conspiracy,
1785
01:20:35,564 --> 01:20:37,232
but I didn't
really believe that.
1786
01:20:37,266 --> 01:20:38,434
Oh my God!
1787
01:20:38,467 --> 01:20:40,269
You're not serious!
1788
01:20:40,302 --> 01:20:42,337
Are you swear to God
you're serious,
1789
01:20:42,371 --> 01:20:43,172
or are you joking?
1790
01:20:43,205 --> 01:20:45,040
Are you doing this
to trick him?
1791
01:20:45,074 --> 01:20:46,408
You swear to God?
1792
01:20:46,442 --> 01:20:48,077
What the fuck
is happening?!
1793
01:20:48,110 --> 01:20:50,412
He's serious Emma!
So shut the fuck up!
1794
01:20:52,181 --> 01:20:53,449
I've got a plan.
1795
01:20:58,253 --> 01:21:00,589
If you guys say anything,
1796
01:21:00,622 --> 01:21:02,658
George and I
will kill them too.
1797
01:21:06,028 --> 01:21:08,297
[christian music
playing on radio]
1798
01:21:09,098 --> 01:21:10,999
Are you guys okay?
1799
01:21:12,134 --> 01:21:13,535
This is crazy!
1800
01:21:13,569 --> 01:21:15,637
They're gonna grow
their own food?
1801
01:21:15,671 --> 01:21:18,373
Yeah, we're okay ma'am
we just ran out of gas.
1802
01:21:18,407 --> 01:21:23,345
Yeah, and, she's never
run out of gas before.
1803
01:21:23,378 --> 01:21:25,714
Well ya gotta
be careful on this road,
1804
01:21:25,748 --> 01:21:27,216
people drive pretty fast.
1805
01:21:27,249 --> 01:21:28,984
All right,
well thank you ma'am.
1806
01:21:29,017 --> 01:21:31,253
And it's kind of hot,
do you have water?
1807
01:21:31,286 --> 01:21:32,988
I have juice boxes
in the back.
1808
01:21:33,021 --> 01:21:34,556
Thank you.
We're fine.
1809
01:21:34,590 --> 01:21:37,559
Are you guys from
around this area?
1810
01:21:37,593 --> 01:21:38,961
Silver lake.
1811
01:21:38,994 --> 01:21:40,729
-Echo Park
-Historic Filipino town.
1812
01:21:40,763 --> 01:21:43,232
My sister just went to...
1813
01:21:43,265 --> 01:21:46,368
now what is that place?
1814
01:21:46,401 --> 01:21:48,070
University Studios?
1815
01:21:48,103 --> 01:21:49,404
Universal.
1816
01:21:49,438 --> 01:21:50,339
What was that honey?
1817
01:21:50,372 --> 01:21:53,308
-Universal Studios.
-Universal Studios.
1818
01:21:53,342 --> 01:21:55,277
Yes, that's it.
She had a blast.
1819
01:21:55,310 --> 01:21:57,045
Have you ever been
to Universal Studios?
1820
01:21:57,079 --> 01:21:58,213
I have.
1821
01:21:58,247 --> 01:22:01,250
Have you...
been to Universal Studios?
1822
01:22:01,283 --> 01:22:02,718
Yeah.
1823
01:22:02,751 --> 01:22:04,686
Have you ever been
to Universal Studios?
1824
01:22:04,720 --> 01:22:06,722
-Actually I haven't.
-You haven't?!
1825
01:22:06,755 --> 01:22:09,057
-Never made the time to go.
-Make the time.
1826
01:22:09,091 --> 01:22:11,093
What about you, bashful?
1827
01:22:12,027 --> 01:22:14,730
You know what ma'am,
we're actually all good.
1828
01:22:14,763 --> 01:22:17,166
So, you should probably go.
1829
01:22:17,199 --> 01:22:18,400
Actually,
1830
01:22:18,433 --> 01:22:20,602
we could really use
a ride to a gas station.
1831
01:22:20,636 --> 01:22:24,373
No, ma'am, you should
go right now!
1832
01:22:24,406 --> 01:22:28,477
Oh, it's okay honey, I'd
be happy to give you a ride.
1833
01:22:30,445 --> 01:22:35,584
Joe, my friends and I are going
to stay here with the car,
1834
01:22:35,617 --> 01:22:38,187
you're going
to go to the gas station.
1835
01:22:38,220 --> 01:22:39,688
(Joe)
They know everything.
1836
01:22:39,721 --> 01:22:42,257
The world knows everything, Joe.
1837
01:22:42,291 --> 01:22:44,426
It was on the radio.
1838
01:22:44,459 --> 01:22:46,495
I want to start
a new life with you.
1839
01:22:46,528 --> 01:22:49,765
Clean slate, like you said.
1840
01:22:52,568 --> 01:22:55,270
Well, we just need a car then.
1841
01:22:55,304 --> 01:22:58,073
Exactly, a car.
1842
01:22:58,106 --> 01:22:59,174
Which is why,
1843
01:22:59,208 --> 01:23:01,043
you are going to go
with the this nice lady here.
1844
01:23:01,076 --> 01:23:03,145
-What's your name, ma'am?
-Karen.
1845
01:23:03,178 --> 01:23:04,746
Karen.
I have an Aunt Karen.
1846
01:23:06,448 --> 01:23:08,350
You're going to go with Karen.
1847
01:23:19,862 --> 01:23:22,397
Kill the lady,
take the car,
1848
01:23:22,431 --> 01:23:24,299
meet me at the gas station.
1849
01:23:25,234 --> 01:23:27,202
Why don't you just
come with me right now?
1850
01:23:27,236 --> 01:23:29,471
Because I have
to go to the bank,
1851
01:23:29,504 --> 01:23:31,573
and empty my accounts.
1852
01:23:31,607 --> 01:23:33,609
We can do that together.
1853
01:23:34,810 --> 01:23:38,146
Well, Barnes owes me
a lot of money,
1854
01:23:38,180 --> 01:23:40,816
and I don't want to embarrass
him in front of everybody.
1855
01:23:40,849 --> 01:23:43,118
Also you have
to get rid of this body.
1856
01:23:43,151 --> 01:23:46,655
You know, hide it, chop it up,
whatever it is you do.
1857
01:23:50,492 --> 01:23:52,394
You're good at this.
1858
01:23:57,199 --> 01:23:58,567
A new start.
1859
01:23:59,568 --> 01:24:00,769
You and me.
1860
01:24:05,340 --> 01:24:07,509
God, I just really
wanna kill them.
1861
01:24:07,542 --> 01:24:09,478
I know you do.
1862
01:24:10,812 --> 01:24:12,481
I love you Joe.
1863
01:24:12,514 --> 01:24:13,515
I love you too.
1864
01:24:13,548 --> 01:24:15,550
So, are you boys coming with me?
1865
01:24:15,584 --> 01:24:18,253
I got sherbert melting in here.
1866
01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:24,326
Well come on in, Joe.
1867
01:24:24,359 --> 01:24:26,161
[engine starts]
1868
01:24:26,194 --> 01:24:28,830
Karen Bennett.
Nice to meet you.
1869
01:24:29,197 --> 01:24:30,699
Why do you have a machete?
1870
01:24:40,909 --> 01:24:42,544
He's gonna kill
that woman isn't he?
1871
01:24:42,577 --> 01:24:44,179
Karen?
1872
01:24:44,212 --> 01:24:46,214
Yeah.
1873
01:24:46,248 --> 01:24:47,749
I feel terrible.
1874
01:24:47,783 --> 01:24:50,652
Okay, so we're gonna
call the police now, right?!
1875
01:24:50,686 --> 01:24:53,355
I don't know.
I mean, is what I did illegal?
1876
01:24:53,388 --> 01:24:54,756
See? It's hard!
1877
01:24:56,191 --> 01:24:58,360
Emma?
1878
01:24:58,393 --> 01:25:00,262
Emma let's get out of here!
1879
01:25:00,595 --> 01:25:01,897
You wanna know what's crazy?
1880
01:25:02,965 --> 01:25:04,933
Part of me wants to go
meet him at the gas station.
1881
01:25:04,967 --> 01:25:06,401
Are you fucking kidding me!?
1882
01:25:06,435 --> 01:25:08,136
I'm not going to!
1883
01:25:10,772 --> 01:25:12,240
I guess we should be going.
1884
01:25:14,576 --> 01:25:16,578
What are we going to do now?
1885
01:25:16,611 --> 01:25:18,447
I don't know, but I've got
to stop somewhere to eat.
1886
01:25:18,480 --> 01:25:19,481
I am STARVING.
1887
01:25:19,514 --> 01:25:21,216
Oh, we passed a taco place
like 30 minutes ago.
1888
01:25:21,249 --> 01:25:21,917
What else?
1889
01:25:21,950 --> 01:25:22,985
I don't know.
1890
01:25:23,018 --> 01:25:24,753
I think there's a Carl's
Junior around here maybe.
1891
01:25:24,786 --> 01:25:25,687
I can't eat fast food.
1892
01:25:25,721 --> 01:25:27,723
-Eck.
-No.
1893
01:25:27,756 --> 01:25:32,294
-Although their fries.
-The fries.
1894
01:25:32,327 --> 01:25:33,628
We should have their fries,
1895
01:25:33,662 --> 01:25:34,963
-right?
-Yeah, yeah.
1896
01:25:34,997 --> 01:25:36,965
We are so bad.
1897
01:25:36,999 --> 01:25:38,467
We are terrible.
1898
01:25:38,500 --> 01:25:39,968
-Hi guys, it's George!
-And Barnes!
1899
01:25:40,002 --> 01:25:42,738
We are so sorry it's been
so long since our last video.
1900
01:25:42,771 --> 01:25:43,772
We just want
to give a shout out
1901
01:25:43,805 --> 01:25:45,741
to all our new subscribers,
all our new fans.
1902
01:25:45,774 --> 01:25:47,242
Yeah, you guys are so awesome.
1903
01:25:47,275 --> 01:25:48,577
You're so awesome.
1904
01:25:48,610 --> 01:25:50,512
I mean, this has been
such a wild ride.
1905
01:25:50,545 --> 01:25:52,981
I always knew our videos
were going to take off,
1906
01:25:53,015 --> 01:25:53,915
like you knew that,
1907
01:25:53,949 --> 01:25:54,716
but I had no idea
they would be this huge.
1908
01:25:54,750 --> 01:25:57,285
-Yeah, this is like, huge.
-Huge.
1909
01:25:57,319 --> 01:25:58,920
-It's crazy.
-It's crazy.
1910
01:25:58,954 --> 01:25:59,955
Subscribe.
1911
01:25:59,988 --> 01:26:01,356
We've got more
Pam and Tabby
coming out soon.
1912
01:26:01,390 --> 01:26:03,792
-More
Country Cooks
{end-italic}.
-More
Denise and Susan.
1913
01:26:03,825 --> 01:26:05,494
And we've got more
Ladies on Fire!
1914
01:26:05,527 --> 01:26:07,295
-Bringing them back.
-Right now.
1915
01:26:07,329 --> 01:26:08,630
Puppy food.
Puppy food.
1916
01:26:08,663 --> 01:26:10,265
Puppy Food Challenge.
1917
01:26:10,298 --> 01:26:11,767
Oh God!
1918
01:26:11,800 --> 01:26:13,335
Eat your heart out you two.
1919
01:26:13,368 --> 01:26:14,269
It's actually not that bad.
1920
01:26:14,302 --> 01:26:15,971
Here's a picture of me
with Dana Delaney.
1921
01:26:16,004 --> 01:26:16,905
What are we doing?
1922
01:26:16,938 --> 01:26:18,373
And we have loved
hearing from you guys
1923
01:26:18,407 --> 01:26:19,241
in the comment section.
1924
01:26:19,274 --> 01:26:20,609
Look at this picture!
1925
01:26:20,642 --> 01:26:21,877
This Tuesday...
1926
01:26:21,910 --> 01:26:25,447
We will be guests on...
1927
01:26:25,480 --> 01:26:28,550
(both)
The Talk
{end-italic}!
1928
01:26:28,583 --> 01:26:29,484
I mean...
1929
01:26:29,518 --> 01:26:30,952
From where we were
to where we are now...
1930
01:26:30,986 --> 01:26:32,154
Thank you!
1931
01:26:32,187 --> 01:26:34,022
Don't forget to like us on
Instagram, follow us on Twitter,
1932
01:26:34,056 --> 01:26:35,724
and subscribe to our
brand new podcast,
1933
01:26:35,757 --> 01:26:37,459
Bloody Sundays
{end-italic}, on iTunes.
1934
01:26:37,492 --> 01:26:38,293
Oh, and add us on Facebook.
1935
01:26:38,326 --> 01:26:39,261
And thank you
so much for watching
1936
01:26:39,294 --> 01:26:40,962
and keep re-tweeting,
and keep favoriting
1937
01:26:40,996 --> 01:26:42,964
and keep sharing,
and until next time
1938
01:26:42,998 --> 01:26:44,633
-I'm George.
-Anyway, I don't know
1939
01:26:44,666 --> 01:26:45,434
if you can even see it.
1940
01:26:45,467 --> 01:26:48,570
-How many views this time?
-300k
1941
01:26:48,603 --> 01:26:51,440
Okay, how about this
for our next video?
1942
01:26:51,473 --> 01:26:53,608
Barnes and I
play two sassy cops.
1943
01:26:53,642 --> 01:26:55,043
Who also sing.
1944
01:26:55,077 --> 01:26:56,812
-Okay.
-Genius, right?
1945
01:26:56,845 --> 01:26:57,946
Can you sing?
1946
01:26:57,979 --> 01:26:59,414
How dare you!
1947
01:26:59,448 --> 01:27:01,450
Of course I can sing!
1948
01:27:01,483 --> 01:27:02,317
I don't know,
1949
01:27:02,350 --> 01:27:03,952
I never heard you sing.
1950
01:27:03,985 --> 01:27:06,455
Okay, really though,
I have to go.
1951
01:27:06,488 --> 01:27:07,989
All right?
I will talk to you later.
1952
01:27:08,023 --> 01:27:09,825
-Love you.
-I love you too.
1953
01:27:09,858 --> 01:27:10,826
Bye.
1954
01:27:10,859 --> 01:27:12,761
Bye.
1955
01:27:13,061 --> 01:27:15,730
♪134237
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