All language subtitles for the.kardashians.s06e09.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[Kim Kardashian]
Previously on The Kardashians...

Big guy's sleeping.

Amari has one of the most
severe types of epilepsy.

He looks good, though.

I feel like I'm equipped with the tools

because of what I went through
with Lamar who couldn't walk,

who was bedridden,
who couldn't speak for months.

I thought I was busy before.

Do you think Kim would
wanna do her own show?

- And...
- Oh.

I have a lot of exciting things coming up.

[Ryan Murphy] I don't know how
you'd fit that in with your life,

but we'd have to figure it out.

You know...

My sister recently passed away.

You're my best friend
and I couldn't live without you.

And I've spent an awful
lot of time worrying about my mom.

For right now, I just have
to learn to live in the moment.

[Kris and Kourtney]
The Kardashians are here!

[Kris Jenner] Spend lots of time
with my children, my grandchildren.

And that is my recipe
for Kris Jenner right now.

[♪ dramatic theme playing]

- [♪ "1234" by bby teeth playing]
- ♪ One, two, three, four ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Gimme some more ♪

Kitty, you shouldn't be on the table,
you're making me look bad.

Hey!

[Khloé Kardashian] Hi, Kenny!

- [Kendall Jenner] Oh, a cat.
- [Khloé] Yeah, that's Baby.

- Hi, Baby.
- Come here.

Baby's very friendly.

I like to hang out with them,
but I'm also allergic.

So much is going on. I just turned 40.

I'm going to London in a few weeks.

Tristan's little brother,
Amari, is almost 18

and I feel like we're always so busy

that when we do have time
to be with one another,

I take such advantage of it.

- [sneezes]
- Mm!

Mm, salud.

- [sneezes] Here we go, here we go.
- Bless you.

- Oh, it's the cat's fault.
- Yeah.

Well, they're hypoallergenic cats.

- [sneezes]
- Mm!

Oh no.

"No cat is completely hypoallergenic...

[snaps fingers]

- ...but Russian Blues rarely shed fur."
- Well, there's hair all over me, so...

Well, rarely.

Kendall, she loves you.

I had a chance to see
the Khloé and Lamar moment,

but I'd love to sit with Khloé
when Kylie is here and just deep dive.

Next time.

Considering I'm the therapy pusher
of the family,

are you doing weekly therapy?

- Mm-hm. At first, she wanted...
- Um--

...to see me three times a week.
Now, we're down to--

Khloé, oh, my God, what's wrong with you?

[laughing] A lot.

- Whenever I talk, she's like, "What?"
- No.

Like, her eyes and her mouth
is sort of open. I'm like--

- Khloé--
- Then I'm registering,

"Maybe this isn't normal what I'm saying."

Everything I do, she's like,
"Okay, well, work-- we'll unpack this."

- And I'm like, "Unpack what?"
- Well...

I just keep talking
like I'm supposed to talk

and I don't know what I said
that worried her so much.

I went through a car windshield
when I was 16.

- Oh, my goodness.
- Um, I actually hit my head

a couple times more after that.

I feel like I'm doing pretty great,
I'm just talking.

"So, how's your dad?"

"Which one?

One's dead and one turned into a girl."
[chuckling]

I have, like, Complex PTSD.

Like, I'm just tellin' her things.

Khloé has a fear of whales.

Why is this whale season?

It had to have been
somewhere in her childhood

that I went really, really wrong somehow.

That is way too close for my comfort.

- [Khloé/Kim screaming]
- [Kim] I saw it!

- Did you see it?! Oh, my God!
- I saw it, oh, my God!

[overlapping chatter]

So sorry, Khloé.

I'm resilient, I'm strong, I'm powerful,
I have head trauma.

But I'm not, like, a serial killer.
I don't know.

I would think, like, serial killers
have to go three times a week.

How many times do you
go to therapy a week?

- Once.
- Mm.

Maybe I won't tell people
that story anymore. [laughing]

I'm going to New York on Monday,
and then I go on another college tour.

Nice.

Arizona, Colorado, Texas.

- That will be fun.
- Yeah.

- Arizona?
- They're, they're so fun.

[Khloé] Mom is so funny.

I was saying, like,
"Let's go and do this wilderness thing,"

and she was like,
"I'm scared, we can't do this.

What if no one's gonna--
What if we get really lost?"

I'm like, "Ya think we're gonna
get really lost, Sherlock?"

- [Kendall] Yeah.
- Like--

There's this place, like, this guy puts on
these, like, survival courses

and, basically,
you get dropped off somewhere

and you have to make it from point A to B.

Wait, wait, wait. You, you lost me at,
"They'll drop you off somewhere."

Think Troop Beverly Hills.

I've never seen Troop Beverly Hills.

- Oh, my God.
- I'm ashamed of you.

And I was like, trying to explain to her
about Troop Beverly Hills and da-da-da.

First of all, says she's
never seen Troop Beverly Hills.

What? I thought that was, like,
literally the essence of our family.

Thank you.

[ringback tone]

[Rob Kardashian] [over phone] Hello?

Did you know Mom has
never seen Troop Beverly Hills?

[Rob] It's a lie.

- She, like, put us on to that movie.
- No--

'Cause she's [bleep] Phyllis Nefler.

[Rob] She is.

Let's make her watch that.
She will think she's on [bleep] acid.

- Anyway, she is on another planet.
- She just doesn't wanna do it.

Clearly, doesn't wanna do it.

It's a girls' trip.
You don't have to do anything, by the way.

- Hi.
- She's on a fake phone call.

- So, scratch that idea.
- Well, I just did, um--

I just drove down from, like,
up north all the way down

through Oregon and then through California
back home on, like, an R-- in an RV.

I don't think I knew this.

- Yeah, have you been to, uh, Joshua Tree?
- No.

It's near Palm Springs. It's really cute.

That sounds cute.

[Kendall] I think an RV adventure
would be really fun.

I don't know that we could get
everyone's schedules aligned

to all be there at the same time,
but I do think it could be cool.

Let's see if Mom's into this.

[ringback tone]

- H-- Ooh, glamarita.
- [Kendall] Oh, my God.

- Hey.
- [Kris] [over phone] Kendall!

[Khloé] If we decide,
and give me a real answer,

because I'm sick and tired
of you guys flaking on me,

if we went on a one-night
RV trip with the whole family,

would you be down for it?

Can I have my own RV?

No, Mom, the point is
for us all to be together.

Who's cooking?

We haven't thought--
I-I don't have any of the p--

It was just...

Um...

I'll, I'll go, yes.

Is that a guaranteed yes?

I'll bring the snacks
and the answer is yes.

[Khloé] Thank you, I love you.

I could do an RV trip.

I just wanna do
something that's different,

something that will build memories
with us that we can talk about.

I don't know if it's fun,
but it's memories, it's exciting.

We're-- We'll have fun
'cause we're gonna be together.

- Bye.
- [call ends]

Kendall, you're just encouraging her.

- Well, no.
- No. Mm! Oh no. Oh no.

[bleep]

- [sneezes]
- Mm!

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Kourtney Kardashian Barker]
Do they want me here or here?

[crew member 1] You can go wherever.

[crew member 2] ...wherever you wanna go.

I know I look like a businesswoman, guys,

but I am a stay-at-home mom.

Oh, it's my pajamas, and then
I just decided I'm too lazy to change.

When I say 10 o'clock, I mean 10 o'clock.

But you could see how one would think

- that maybe we need to have--
- [Kourtney] Ten means 11.

- [laughs] Yeah.
- Yeah, in the past, yeah.

- Kourtney's a new woman.
- I'm ready.

Hi, you guys.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Lauryn. Nice to meet you.
- [Simon Huck] Lauryn, Michael.

- [Kourtney] Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. I'm so excited.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
- [Michael Bosstick] Nice to meet you...

Simon has asked me
to do this podcast for Lemme,

which is The Skinny Confidential.

While the baby's sleeping,
I'm just very efficient

and on it these days
to just get things done

so that I can get back into the bubble.

I am, like, on another planet.

Like, I have baby brain.

- [Lauryn Bosstick] I get it.
- I'm, like, in a different world.

I don't know what day
of the week it is, to be honest.

I love baby brain.

I mean, I don't know exactly,
I'm not a scientist,

but, supposedly, so that you--
m-moms focus on their baby,

you can't really think
of other stuff, and it's true,

because I can't really
think of anything else.

So, when you guys decide
to launch this brand,

part of the allure,
it sounds like, is that you're able

to be fluid at your house
and do what you wanna do on your own terms

without having to be out
and about everywhere.

My focus is raising my kids,
that's just my life.

But then, I'm also a great multitasker
and I do love it.

Anything that I'm doing with the brand
truly does not feel like work.

[Lauryn] How do you guys wake up?

What's your morning routine?

Um, we sleep with our baby.

[Lauryn] Can you tell Michael
all the benefits of this

'cause I wanna do this
if I have another baby.

- [Michael] Here we go.
- Well, my mom was saying this to me

last night 'cause she's not--

- She's a bit resistant.
- Right.

[Michael] I go back and forth
because I'll lay there with my daughter

and then I will think about
when I can't do that anymore

- and that makes me sad.
- [Lauryn] Yeah.

- [Michael] So, like, I want those moments.
- It's gonna go so fast.

- [Michael] Yeah.
- My son just started high school.

Like, it's gonna go so fast.

With my babies and my husband,
I have, like, a desire to slow down.

It's nice to actually,
like, linger in a moment,

not rushing so that you could
experience everything.

If you just slow everything down,
then it's, like, everyone could enjoy

and experience things more together.

Oh, hey, Mom.

- [Lauryn] Hey, Mom.
- [Michael] Hey, Mom.

- Hey, Mom.
- Hi, guys. Hi.

- How's it goin'?
- Good.

- It's goin' great.
- Wow, Kourtney, you look gorgeous.

Thank you. I said I live in sweats...

- Yeah, ya do.
- [Kourtney] ...pretty much.

Kris, kid in the bed or not in the bed?

Not in-- Well, no.
This is a different generation, you guys.

We didn't co-sleep in the '80s.
No, we didn't.

We had structure,
we had schedules, we had meal times.

We put our kids to bed at seven o'clock,

and then we'd go to dinner
and have some grownup time

and it was a wonderful life.

I wouldn't be able to sleep
if my baby was in another room

by himself in a crib.

- I was a horrible mother.
- [all laughing]

No, I'm not saying you are. I just--

You had your own room in your own crib.

I did, and I'm not saying it's bad,
'cause that's--

- that's what everyone did at the time.
- Yeah.

When you were a little girl,
did you think you were going

to be doing work like this?

Or did you ever anticipate
you were gonna be on television

- and have this kind of platform?
- [Kourtney] Never.

I always wanted to be a fashion designer

and I would play like I was Donna Karan

and Kim was my assistant.

We would be in my dad's office,
like, doing phone calls.

We would go upstairs to my mom's closet
and just play with all... the clothes.

We can dream and we can imagine
what you envision for your life,

but I also think God has a plan.

Right now, like,
I just feel very connected to

my role as a mother
and as a woman in this world.

Thank you, guys, for taking the time.

- Thank you both.
- That was so much fun.

- Thank you, everybody.
- Thank you.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ When I get up in the mornin' ♪

♪ Me and the sun gon' shine ♪

♪ Sippin' my coffee that's pourin' ♪

♪ It's comin' right on time ♪

♪ This gon' be my day ♪

♪ This gon' be my day ♪

Hi. Good, how are you?

Amari turning 18
is a huge milestone for him.

It's a huge accomplishment,

and every day we have
with him is a blessing.

♪

♪ It feels so right, alright ♪

I appreciate you putting this all together
and it's definitely a special day.

I know Mommy's happy
and she's smiling down on us.

- She is.
- [Tristan Thompson] Yeah.

♪ Feels so right ♪

[Khloé] Hi, Mom.

[Khloé] Hiii!

Hi, let's go see your brother.

- Tristan!
- [Tristan] Birthday boy!

'Sup, Mari. Happy birthday.

[Khloé] Do you like the balloons?

[Kris]
Oh, my gosh, this looks so beautiful.

Happy birthday, Amari.
I can't believe he's 18.

[Khloé] I know.

Hey.

Khloé, truly, is such
a big part of Amari's life.

- Are you excited?
- [Amari grunts]

And I think it's so incredibly impressive
how she takes care of him.

She's, literally, a gift from God
and so is Amari.

Hi, Amari. Happy birthday.

You're 18?

So hot out.

- No, I just wanted him to see everything.
- You're so stylish today.

I first met Amari almost 10 years ago

and he's just, you know, the sweetest.

The crew is here.

Saint, your hair looks great!

Oh, look at you!

[Tristan grunts]

Mm!

Aw, thank you, Reign. North?

[gasps] Thank you, Sainty.
Look at this big man said that.

[Kim] You guys wanna say happy birthday?

Aw, thank you, True.

My kids, they're much more exposed
to Amari than some of the other kids.

So, True's more concerned
than frightened of Amari,

but I do think it's important for our kids

and everyone's kids to be exposed
to all different types of people.

'Kay, everyone, come get a picture.

- Here, stand with me.
- Get in the photo.

[Kim] We love to celebrate
every member of the family.

- Everybody, look at me.
- [camera clicking]

[group] Yay!

And, you know, I love our kids
growing up around him and helping him.

Are you girls a little bit scared?

There's no need to be... you know?
But it's okay if you are.

[♪ gentle music playing]

You know, they have lots of questions

and, at times, they might not be
the most comfortable,

but I think it's so important
that they play with him

and... you know,
they, they really get to know him.

[all] [singing]
♪ Happy birthday, dear Amari ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- [Khloé] Yay!
- [Tristan] Woo!

[Khloé] Oh!

[all cheering]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Oh, my gosh, MJ's--

My grandma turned 90,
Amari's 18, Tatum's two.

- It's a big--
- Big weekend.

My daughter turned 19
on the twenty-- two days ago.

- [Kris] Oh, my God.
- [Khloé] Oh, no way.

That's a lot of Leos.

- That is a lot of Leos.
- A lot of Leos.

[Noel Rojas]
So, our house was the go-to house,

so all the neighborhood kids
would come and visit.

We used to have, like--
Oh, he's getting a seizure.

[Alba Flores] What happened?

- [Noel] What happened, buddy?
- [Alba] What happened, bubba?

[♪ tense music playing]

[Khloé] Mom, calm down.

[♪ gentle music playing]

You have to calm down. Just-- It's okay.

Amari has never and will never be
a burden or anything like that.

Amari is one of the most
special souls I have ever met.

Don't start crying.

When you meet someone that's so wonderful

and then something
so terrible happens to them,

you do wanna help, you do wanna fix it

and be there as much as you can,

and I think for my--
My mom feels the exact same way.

She has such a connection to Amari.

And so, to not be able
to do much, it is really hard.

[Kris crying]

[Kris] No, he was having a seizure.

- [Khloé] I know, but he's okay.
- [Cici Bussey] Yeah.

- [Khloé] Have you never seen one before?
- No.

[Khloé] Okay, it's okay. He's okay.

Everything's fine.

[Cici] I didn't see it,
but I've seen it before.

[Khloé] I've seen a lot, so...

- [Cici] Yeah.
- ...I guess it doesn't affect me.

But I think he's just overstimulated.

- Mm-hm. [sniffles]
- [Khloé] He's okay.

- I'm sorry that upset you.
- I just--

It's just-- It's very overwhelming.

[Khloé] But it's okay, he's okay.

When, you know, Amari's having a seizure,
I know how to stay calm.

I'm around Amari a lot,
I've seen a lotta seizures.

He has multiple seizures a day.

Like, I-I know what to do
in these situations,

but someone who hasn't
been exposed to that

and hasn't seen that, it can be very scary
and it's a very helpless feeling.

[Kris] [sniffles] Thank you.

[Khloé]
My mom is someone that always wants

to help somebody else
and she normally can fix problems.

So, in this situation,
I think she feels so terrible

because it's something
she has no control over whatsoever,

and she doesn't know what to do
and she feels really helpless.

[sniffling]

- Aw, I'm sorry.
- [Cici] It's just-- It's--

[♪ gentle music playing]

I just can't imagine.

It just... [sniffles] makes me so sad.

I know, I'm sorry.

Ever since I've met him,
I think about him all the time

and I pray for him

- and I just had never seen that happen.
- [Khloé] Thank you.

- I'm sorry it upset you.
- [Cici] I know, it's just scary.

[Kris] Today was rough, it was rough.

You feel helpless
when someone is having a seizure

and I-- it's uncontrollable

and there's nothing
that you can really do,

but I'm glad I was here.

I'm glad I was here for Amari.

I'm glad I was here for Khloé.

I'm so proud of you...

- Thank you.
- ...and-and, honestly, the way

you've handled this whole situation

- and how you have just...
- [Khloé] Thank you.

...embraced this and been so brave.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

I hope that one day
you'll take care of me like this.

- Obviously.
- [Kris laughing]

I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

At least you know I'll never
put you in a home, I got you.

- Okay. I know where my bread is--
- I might wheel you right into that pool,

- but, ya know. Yep.
- I know where my bread is buttered.

[♪ "Come Out and Play"
by Crypto Bunny playing]

♪ Sweat stains from the heat
gotta roll up your sleeves, ah ♪

♪ Little to no energy
comes to me with ease ♪

♪ You better follow the chief, hey ♪

[Khloé] Today, Kim, myself, and my mom,
we're all gonna go to Joshua Tree.

This was Kendall's RV trip
and Kendall is not here, yet again.

We're going camping.

Why we're going camping,
I have no [bleep] idea.

Yeah, let's go [bleep] it up
in Joshua Tree.

Let's see what it's about.

I love having an adventure with my family,

or as many family members
that will show up.

Yes, I told Khloé about
an RV trip that I went on

and that maybe it would be fun,

but I also told her about my college tour

and it wasn't my fault that everything
got booked at the same time.

I do feel bad, but I don't know
what I'm supposed to do.

[Kim] We're going camping!

My kids are in China with their dad
and it's rare that I get time off,

you know, as a mom,

but there's always something
new that you can try.

So, why not go
on a gorgeous, luxurious trip

to Joshua Tree like Khloé wants.

How much stuff did you bring?
We're going for one night.

We're gonna be back tomorrow morning.

A girl's gotta be prepared.

I'm not sure what to expect,
so I cover all my bases.

I have a backup plan,

and I've got a surprise
I'll share with my girls later.

It's a hundred-and-something degrees
and you're wearing leather gloves?

Well, I don't wanna get--

I don't need any
mosquito bites or anything.

I have to cover up, honey.
It's all about the beauty.

This is cute.

[Khloé]
We're gonna be here for four hours?

- [Kris] Yeah.
- [Khloé] Don't you think we need

- a drive-through or something?
- [Kris] A drive-through?

I'm gonna need food.
I know you guys don't eat--

Do you want me to make
you a tuna sandwich...

- [Kim] I just ate.
- ...really fast?

Tuna in an, like,
enclosed place is so rude.

- [Kris] Oh.
- [Kim laughs]

- [♪ upbeat music playing]
- ♪ Come along for the ride ♪

♪ It's a real good time ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go ♪

♪ Can't wait no mo' ♪

[Khloé] I'm excited about the star-gazing

and, hopefully, seeing--
I don't wanna be abducted,

but I wouldn't mind seeing a UFO.

- [laughing]
- Mom, why don't you go first?

Go first?

[Khloé] You're a good negotiator.

♪ Come along for the ride ♪

So, this is all part of me
turning 40 and trying new things

and I'm so excited to go to Joshua Tree,

those big, massive trees.

♪ Goin' where we wanna be ♪

I love greenery and mountains.

I just feel like there's
gonna be, like, a stream

and just wilderness. I'm excited to see.

Wait, did you finish
The Menendez Brothers?

[Kim] I'm on the last episode.

- Ugh, how could you even leave?
- [Kim] 'Cause I fell asleep last night.

Why, what happened?
I mean, I-- Obviously, I know the story.

Yeah, we all know how it ends.
It's just crazy.

I am so deep
into the Menendez brothers story

and trying to figure out
all of the facts and the details.

Were they abused, weren't they abused?
What's the real evidence?

Knowing what I know now
and knowing more about life in the media

and, like, how they could've
portrayed this case in a certain light,

it was, like, all clicking to me
and I just have to know more.

Those two guys
used to come over to our house

and play tennis
with your dad on the weekends.

So, one day, they said, um,
"Oh, we have a surprise for Robert.

Here's his tennis racket,
we had it restrung."

Because he needed
his tennis racket restrung.

And I said, "Oh, that was nice."

If you had a freshly strung racket,
you had a better tennis game.

And Erik did that for Robert
and dropped it off.

So, when I heard
on the news about the crime,

I was shocked.

I mean, it was something
that just didn't happen

in Beverly Hills during that decade.

I am fascinated with this case for sure.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Boom goes the dynamite, here we go ♪

Road trip girls!

Oh, North just texted me.

- "You have Wi-Fi."
- [FaceTime ringing]

North.

We're camping! We're camping!
You have service!

[Kim] You don't even know if you slept?

Oh no. That is jet lag.

Bubs, you have a show tonight.

So, North is in China with her dad
and she's performing with him.

But, you know, she is still my baby,
so she calls me for everything.

It is six in the morning. You went to bed
at... at two in the morning, Bubs.

You only slept four hours.

[laughing] Okay.

I'm not quite ready to be a momager.

Right after The Lion King,
North got offered a project,

but it's in London

and so I'm like, "Okay, well,
then I would have to take

"a week off from filming
or whatever it'll be

and go with her on set."

- I still have a career.
- [cheering]

I wonder if I should have
my mom go with North.

The, like, momager/Mom role,
I'll always be Mom first.

Everyone's excited for this performance.

We are-- have our live stream
ready to watch.

Oh, wow, that looks gorgeous.
Is that the city?

Look at where Koko and I are staying.
What is this, glamping?

Nice.
Should I sleep on the top or the bottom?

I think you should use a mic.
Is Dad using a mic?

Who's that behind you?

Oh, Sainty! [chuckling] Hi!

Like, seriously, you're the one that,
not even a year ago,

is fighting with me
for saying good night to my child.

And you are on the phone
with North for a couple hours.

- Get away from your kids.
- Okay.

Live your [bleep] life.

- Get out.
- You're such a bitch these days to me.

I'm gonna FaceTime my daughter,
I hope that's okay with you.

I was just telling you,
let's live in the moment.

I'm just wondering if you think
you live in the moment.

Guess what, Saint?

I gotta-- I'm gonna send something
to S-- to Northy.

This is exactly what
you criticize Khloé for doing.

This is the pot calling
the kettle black, yep.

[North chattering on phone]

[Khloé] Welcome to Beaumont.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Fly all the way to China
10 minutes before--

I would do anything for you,
actually, I really would.

[Kris] Now we're livin'.
This is a gourmet meal.

Don't eat the food.
We asked you if you wanted fries,

- you said no.
- No.

- Now look at you.
- Uh-huh.

[bleep], this is good, wow.

Kimberly, get over here.

Get in here... and dip this in.

'Kay, try to pick it up and press zero.
Zero usually works in most countries.

[Kim] M'kay, why don't you
stay on the phone with me.

[North] [gasps] Okay.

If the trip doesn't turn out good,
the McFlurry was great.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I've been quiet ♪

♪ I've been watching ♪

♪ But now it's time to show
what I've dreamed of ♪

♪ Don't flake ♪

♪ You might miss the ride ♪

♪ I'm shining brighter than you... ♪

We are in Texas for our 818 College Tour
and they are so fun.

Today, we are in College Station, Texas
and we are heading to some colleges.

I'm taking all these kids
to detention today...

[laughing]

...for drinking.

We're gonna go hit a few bars.

- [Kelsey Kershner] Alright.
- Come along.

Oh, Panda Express, I love you.

[Kelsey] Okay, let's start
with our dorm room hard hitters.

- [Kendall] Yeah.
- [Kelsey] If you lived in a dorm,

what do you think would be
hanging on your wall?

Um...

[seat belt alarm chiming]

- ...math problems.
- [laughing]

I'm really innocent.

[Kelsey] College dorm room decor
is such a pivotal moment of youth life.

[laughing]

Okay, uh, next question.

If you were dating a hottie boy in college

and the quarterback wanted
to take you on a date,

what would you do?

I... I would probably already
be dating the quarterback.

[all laughing]

- It's a bad question, Kelsey.
- [Kelsey] Oh, my God.

You're, like, too cool for college.

Everyone's so awkward
and weird when they enter--

No, I was, I was definitely, like,
at that age, awkward and weird.

I grew into myself.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

'Kay.

Anybody ready to take some shots?
Anybody ready to take some shots?!

[audience cheering]

No one's gonna recognize me in there.

818!

- Take shots!
- [cheering]

- Oh!
- [crowd screaming]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

- [Kendall] Hey! I didn't recognize you.
- I didn't recognize you.

We've had some shots...

- Hi.
- [cheering]

I love supporting my brand in this way,

but I also love connecting
with the people that love the brand.

Thank you!

And people that are fans
of not only me, but my brand

and just wanna have a good time,

and that's what we're all about.

- No! I don't wanna--
- Yes!

- Are you sure? You're positive? Okay.
- Yes, yes!

It's so fun. The energy's always
really positive and really high.

[crowd cheering]

You with all your hats!

[cheering]

To kinda see everyone's faces
just having a good time is--

there's nothing like it.

[squealing]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Okay.

[Kelsey] 'Kay, successful number one.

[Kris] Look, there's the dinosaurs.

[Khloé] Pee-wee Herman.

We're in the desert,
so just in case it cuts out,

I love you so much, okay?

And I'll talk to you
definitely before your show.

Bye.

[Kris] Okay, well, we're almost there,

and we have spent
more than half of the trip

on the phone with your children,
which I love listening to my grandkids,

don't get me wrong.

However, you gave her so much shit
for checking in with her kids--

For three minutes.
Like, I made sure they were short

'cause I didn't wanna be rude.

Just to FaceTime with True and Tatum
to say good night really quick.

I know, but my kids are in Chi-- She's--

Honestly, you'd freak out. She's in China.

Khloé, come on, my ki--

You wouldn't even let your kids
go to another country without you.

Well, there's a difference.

Kim talking to her daughter
doesn't bother me.

She's out of the country.
Of course, you should talk to your child,

but, girl, don't forget
what a [bleep] hypocrite you are.

- She only wants her mom...
- [Khloé] Yeah, but let's just--

- But let's not be hypocrites.
- ...but guess what, guys? Ya got me.

It is what it is.

Like, that's just, as a mom,
that's what I'll do.

You two-faced [bleep]. [laughing]

[Kim] I'm a hypocrite, ya got me.

- You got me.
- Just don't be an asshole.

Oh, here we are, guys. Home sweet home.

Oh, how cute is this?

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Kris] There is so much coming up.

We have birthdays,
and Khloé's London trip, and the holidays,

so this'll be really fun to do this
before all of that gets going

and I can unwind
and relax in the desert with my girls.

[♪ upbeat music continues]

This is it?

[♪ music stops abruptly]

[♪ Wild West music playing]

This is definitely not what
I envisioned Joshua Tree to be.

Didn't you think it was,
like, a lotta trees?

Huh, I feel like
a tumbleweed should roll by.

♪

[♪ slow country music playing]

[Kris] Here we are.

- Hey, welcome.
- Thank you.

- [guide] Thank you for coming.
- Cute!

This looks gorgeous.

[Khloé] I definitely have
a very different picture in my head

of what Joshua Tree is.

Is that a Joshua tree?

[guide] This is actually a yucca plant,

- which is a cousin--
- [Khloé laughing]

- Oh, there is such thing as a Joshua tree?
- Absolutely.

I don't know what Khloé was expecting,
but we're going to the desert, babe.

Literally, tumbleweeds rolling on by.

There's no big trees, there's no stream,
there's no mountains.

There's no trees.

Just the Josh.

Who's in that bus?
Like, what-- Is that for us?

That is Chef K.

- [Kim] Stop.
- Yeah.

- [Khloé] Mom, that's ridiculous.
- You brought a whole bus for a chef?

I did.

Of course, there's a chef.

Hi, Chef, are you guys all set up?

[Chef K] [over phone] Yes, ma'am.

Okay, perfect, I'll see ya soon.

[Chef K] Great, see ya soon.

I mean, it's camping but we have to eat.

- I don't know about you...
- [Kim] What's this? Bocce ball?

- [Khloé] Bocce ball.
- ...but I'm very thirsty.

And I'm not gonna eat something
shoved on a stick, stuck in a fire.

I'm a great mom and I come prepared.

I'm like a Girl Scout.

- [Kim] Oh.
- [Khloé] Hi, Chef K.

- Hi, what a treat.
- [Chef K] Hi.

[Khloé] Oh, my God, you guys. Caviar?

- Ah!
- [Kim] I will definitely take a cocktail.

- [Chef K] For you.
- [Kris] Mm!

Cheers, ladies.

And you know how we always sit around
and say, "I wish we had nothing to do,"

well, your dreams are about to come true.

[Kim] The caviar, the Kelly. Got it.

- Is that not--
- [Khloé] Thriving. Troop Beverly Hills.

Troop Hidden Hills.

Ready to take a look at the premises?

- [Khloé] Yes, okay.
- [Kim/Kris] Okay.

In front of us is my favorite,
the cowboy ice bath.

- [Khloé] Noice.
- [guide] Um...

we have tons of ice on site,

so we'll fill it up fresh
whenever you guys want it.

[Khloé] It's cold enough for me.
[laughing]

No, thank you.
It's freezing. It's, literally, ice water.

[bleep] I'm getting bug bites.
I'm not made for the outdoors.

- That's cute.
- I'm gonna text Kendall.

I'm gonna kill her.

I tried calling her, she wouldn't answer.

I'm very confused 'cause Kendall claims
this is one of her favorite places.

To do what?

I don't understand what the activity is.

[guide] So, this is our game station.

- Noice.
- Um, we have cornhole...

- [Kris] 'Kay.
- [guide] ...ping pong,

smash ball, and we have horseshoes.

- [Khloé] Yeah, Mom, right in the hole!
- Hello?!

- I just got a hole-in-one!
- Wow!

Indiana Jenner over here.

Kim's not looking.
We're gonna pretend like I just got...

[laughing] Oh, my God,
I got the horseshoe!

You are a winner, you are a Jenner.

- Wow.
- You are thriving here in Joshua Tree.

I'm diggin' it. I'm an animal.

Come on, give it to me, baby.

[Kim] Ooh, one point for you, first try.

- [Kim laughing]
- Okay, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

I think we're done here.

Mama needs a martini, let's go.

[♪ mellow music playing]

Hoo!

I am kind of loving the vibe here.

It is peace and quiet.

[Kris] Somebody?

[Kim] What, Mom, what do you need?

- [Kris] Anybody?
- [Kim] What do you need?

[Kris] I'm just about to fall.

[♪ music warbles, stops]

- You're gonna fall? [laughs]
- [Kris] Yeah.

- Okay, let me help you.
- [Kim] So, do you need help?

[Kris]
I just can't let go of my martini...

- [Khloé] Okay.
- ...so I need somebody--

[Khloé] Okay, there you go.
Gimme your martini.

- [Kris] Okay. Thank you.
- [Khloé] Okay.

- [Kris] Okay, wait, don't spill it.
- [Khloé] You okay?

I'm not.

- Have you ever been on a hammock?
- [Kris] No.

Now that we're here,
we could not have ever done

that wilderness challenge
because we would all be dead.

We can't survive.

Oh!

- [Khloé] Stay in the middle.
- Okay.

We can't even get
into a hammock without falling over.

My mom needs a personal chef
following her everywhere.

This is crazy.

- [Kris] No, no!
- [Khloé] I'm not gonna let go.

- I'm gonna set this down.
- Okay, I'm good.

- [Khloé] Oh, shit, I dropped your martini.
- Look, look, you dropped the martini?

- [Khloé] Sorry, I'll get you a new one.
- [bleep].

[Khloé] Okay, I'll get you a new one.

[Kris] Can somebody
[echoing] wire me a martini?

["martini" echoing]

- [♪ upbeat music playing]
- [people cheering]

[fans] Woo!

We love you, Kendall!

[all] [chanting]
Kendall, Kendall, Kendall!

Oh, I feel like Hannah Montana.
Hannah, Hannah!

[cheering]

I think it's my closest experience

to being, like,
a pop star for five seconds.

Like, it is so, so minute
compared to pop stars,

but, like, to feel the energy
in that room, I'm like,

"Oh, this is what it must feel like
to be singin' on a stage."

It's fun and it's intoxicating.

- [cheering]
- [emcee] This is Kendall Jenner!

The college tour was so fun.

Um, I felt like it was a big success

and I honestly can't wait to get
back out there one day for round four.

♪

[Kelsey] Alright.

- [fans screaming]
- [Kendall] Thank you so much.

Thank you.

[excited chatter]

[fans clamoring]

I love you.

[fans squealing]

[Kelsey] On the run! On the run! Oh! Ooh!

[♪ tambourine jingling]

How cute is this?
A seat right in front of the food truck.

- [Kris] Ah, this is nice.
- [Khloé] This is so cute.

I just think Kendall is such
a snake for doing this to us.

Kendall said,
"Wait, why is this my fault?"

I said, "You planned this trip."

- Was it my idea? I don't think it was.
- [producer] Yes.

Yes, it was.

I don't think I was like,
"This is what we're doing."

I think I was just saying
I had a great time on my RV trip.

- Have you been to, uh, Joshua Tree?
- [Khloé] No.

It's near Palm Springs. It's really cute.

That sounds cute.

She was, like, down
in the details of this trip.

But I didn't set the whole thing up
and then ditch.

But, conveniently, she has
to go on her College 818 Tour.

They just need someone to blame

and they don't know what to do
with themselves stuck in an RV

and, honestly,
maybe they need a little bit of this.

Maybe this is good for them
to just leave them stranded somewhere.

Humbles them a little.

- She said, "Why is this my fault?"
- Kourtney is... [laughing]

- I'm dying.
- [Kourtney] [over phone] Hi.

I think I was the one who said
Joshua Tree would be great.

- [crosstalk]
- Well, chime in and say it's your fault.

...[bleep] Timbuktu and then not show up.

[Kourtney] What's the place
with, like, the redwood trees?

That's where I thought we were going.

[Kourtney] No, I think I said,
"Joshua Tree would be great."

- So, why aren't you on these trips?
- Well, here we are and I haven't seen

- one [bleep] Joshua tree.
- [Kim laughs]

[Kourtney]
Why don't you guys play Gin Rummy?

Yes. Does anyone have cards?

[Kourtney] Don't shy away from connection.

Well, you should be showing up
to some experiences.

- It would be nice.
- [Kourtney] Well, I'm breastfeeding.

Kourtney didn't show up

because she'll use this baby excuse
until the kid's 10.

Of course, Kylie's not here.

Not a chance.
Like, wasn't even, wasn't even an option.

Kendall, I get it,
take me with you on the college tour.

Let's keep it real,
it's the Kim, Kris, and Khloé show.

It's crazy.

Actually, let me rephrase that,

it's the Kim and Khloé
show with a hint of Kris

as a supporting character.

[Kourtney] Okay, bye, have fun.

- [Khloé] Love you.
- [Kim] Thanks.

- [Kris] Thanks for coming.
- [Kim] You too.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[♪ vocalist whistling]

- ♪ One, two, three, go ♪
- ♪ Oh, my, my ♪

♪ Meet me outside the lines ♪

♪ Oh, my, my ♪

- Can I have some?
- Oh, yes, sorry.

- It's so pretty now.
- [Kim] Mm-hm.

- Oh, well, here you are.
- [Khloé] Oh, wow.

- Hi, babe.
- It's-- Wow, Carlton's here.

Now that the sun is setting,
the ambiance is great,

I feel like Joshua Tree
is a vibe at night.

- [Kris] Wait, are those Jell-O shots?
- Yes, I wanna have one.

Please have one.

♪ Oh, my, my ♪

So, I'm so excited. I start filming.

In LA?

- In LA.
- [Khloé/Kris] Thank God.

I mean, I'm nervous.
I'm actually really nervous.

[Khloé] I think nerves are good...

- [Kris] Yeah.
- ...but you got this.

- 'Cause I have to bring it.
- Oh, you so have this.

So, I'm doing a show
with Ryan Murphy called All's Fair

and it's a female cast of attorneys
and we have our own firm.

I don't wanna give too much away,
but, you know, I'm a little nervous.

This is, like, an A-plus-plus cast

and I-I'm really excited to get to work.

[Khloé] Do you have an acting coach,
or someone you work with?

- [Kim] Yes. I'm gonna start again.
- Good, good.

She got me through American Horror Story.

Good, and how many days a week?

It's typically gonna be three.

[Khloé] Good.

So, I can drop the kids off,
go, and be back by bedtime.

- [Khloé] That's great.
- So, that was really important to me.

Good, it's gonna be amazing.

- And you're gonna do great.
- The second episode,

I have a huge scene,
just me and Glenn Close.

Like, a really important one.

We're talking about Cruella de Vil here.

I am acting with Cruella de Vil.

[Khloé] You're gonna crush it.

But also Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash,

Teyana Taylor, Sarah Paulson.

This is definitely making me
a little nervous.

Look at that one gorgeous star in the s--

- Oh, I think it's a plane.
- [Khloé] I think it's a plane.

[rattling]

I know, that was insane.

- Something's over there.
- [Kris] Where?

In this bush.

[Kris] In the bush?

[rattling]

There's definitely something out there.

It's probably a snake, it's a rattlesnake.
It's definitely there.

What the [bleep]? I literally--
I just need to go over there

and see what it is.

[Khloé] You don't wanna go over there.

- [Kim] I'm not afraid of a snake.
- Is there a flashlight?

[♪ dramatic music playing]

[hissing, rattling]

[♪ curious music playing]

- [Khloé] [softly] You wanna see?
- [Kim] Mm-hm.

[Khloé] Okay, Kim?

I feel like it's in this bush.
It's a rattle.

[Kim] No, it's for sure a snake.

- A snake?
- What did it sound like?

[Khloé] A rattle.

This guy must think we're insane.
Like, actually.

Well, we do sometimes
have clicking cicadas.

They'll chirp their back legs.

Oh, that could be it, Kim.

- [Kim] Mm-hm.
- Right.

But I bet he's heard it all, seen it all.

[Khloé] We have to try this.

[Kim] I don't know,
I never see anything in a telescope.

It's just not my thing.

Do you remember I went to Space Camp, Mom?

- [Kris] Hm? Space Camp?
- Do you remember you sent me

- to Space Camp?
- Yes.

- [guide] You went to Space Camp?
- I did, my mom doesn't remember.

I remember everything.

- Florida?
- But you sent me away for a week.

I mean, my mom doesn't
like to talk about it,

but the woman left me everywhere.

I don't know if she was trying to get
rid of me, but I'm still here. [chuckling]

Khloé, are you okay? "Abandonment"?

You went to camp as a child,
that's a privilege.

Like, people dream
about going to Space Camp.

Jeff Bezos probably went to Space Camp.

She left me at a barn...

- [Kris chuckles]
- ...at a horse barn.

You kids need to appreciate
what these experiences

have been in your childhood

and what they have meant
to your growth as a human, okay?

Oh, my God, that art studio in Brentwood?

- [Kris laughing]
- When, like, you left me at an art studio

and I would eat
Hershey's Crunch bars for food,

but-- and you wonder why
I was fat as a kid.

Give me a little credit
for being a great mom.

Not abandoning you.

You're starting to sound like Kourtney.

I think I'll forever have
mommy issues, forever,

but I'll take them, I like them.

- Ah!
- [Kris screams]

[Kris] Shut the [bleep] up.

- [Khloé laughing]
- It's not funny.

[Kim] I've just never felt dirtier.
I need to shower.

I'm feeling very dirty
and I can't, I can't go to bed

not having showered.

[Kris] Yeah, jump in the pool.

I just couldn't be able
to fall asleep dusty?

Like, this is crazy.

- [all screaming]
- [Khloé] What?!

[screaming]

- What?
- It was just the light.

- It touched my leg, sorry.
- Oh.

- [Khloé laughs]
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- You brought a loofah.
- And soap. Yes, I travel with a loofah.

Oh, my God, this is wild.

- [Kim] I just wish it was warm.
- I-- Well...

[♪ plucky music playing]

You can do this.

You're gonna put soap in there?

Yeah, is it okay I'm putting soap in here?

[Kris laughing]

I'll dunk after.

Oh, I feel so much better already.

[Khloé]
Kim takin' her bath with her loofah.

She's like... And, like, you just
brought a loofah with you camping?

Like, where did this come from?

It feels very inappropriate.

[♪ sultry music playing]

Me watching her feels inappropriate.

Either it's the setup of a porn
or we're gonna get murdered

and someone has to be on high alert

and I don't feel like getting murdered.

[♪ sultry music continues]

I don't even know what she was doing.

It's like her boobs. I'm like, "Come on.

Is that how you sh--
bathe yourself normally?"

Isn't that how you bathe?

That was too much for me.

[shivering] Ah! Thank you.

It was worth it, I feel cleaner already.

So, I will admit that when we first
got here at Joshua Tree, I hated it.

- What a treat.
- See, they did have a spa.

[Khloé]
But we have Kim's birthday coming up,

my trip to London coming up.

I'm feeling refreshed and I am just ready.

[Kim] Sorry, I got that a little soapy.

[Khloé] This was just, like,
the perfect timing,

just to, like, reset, recharge.

I love spending time
with my mom and my sister.

Doing anything with them is fun for me.

- [Khloé screaming]
- [Kris screaming]

[bleep] you!

I think I peed myself.

[bleep], now I have to go
change my [bleep] clothes.

- You really peed?
- Yeah.

- Sorry.
- I did.

Okay, that's enough camping, I'm done.

[♪ light music playing]

We're ready to go to bed.

Okay... everybody ready?

[Khloé] Yeah.

- [Kris] Good night, ladies.
- Good night, I love you.

- [Kris] Love you.
- [Khloé] Good night, I love you.

[♪ mysterious music playing]

[hissing, rattling]

♪

Okay... we're all set.

Thank you.

Whew.

[sighs]

Yeah, I'm leaving.

I'm going home to sleep in my own bed.

I'm not sleeping in this RV,
so I'm going home, home.

Hey, girls, I'm sure you won't read this
until tomorrow morning,

but when you wake up,
you'll realize I'm not there

and I just wanted you
to know that I'm okay

and...

I just couldn't take it.

I knew I wasn't gonna get any sleep,
so I'm gonna head home.

But I love you madly
and that was a lot of fun.

Anyway, ta-ta, ladies.

Let's go home.

[driver] Yes, ma'am.

♪

[Kris] Next, on the season finale
of The Kardashians...

"Hey, girls, I'm sure you won't
read this 'til the morning,

"but when you wake up
and you realize I'm not there,

I just want you to know that I'm okay
and I can't take it anymore."

Waking up and noticing
that my mom has vanished,

certainly does not [chuckles]
help my abandonment issues.

I saw the nice little surprise
on this-- these first couple episodes.

I did see the Khloé and Lamar scene

and I really wanna dig into kind of
the depths of it today with her.

I could tell you were shut off.

You have to find it within you to forgive,
you don't have to forget.

We are in Paris!

I am here for L'Oréal.

L'Oréal Paris does
a fashion show every September.

I felt like a princess for two seconds.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Yes.

Okay, everybody, it's me again, hi, guys.

[Kim] She loves a microphone at a party.

Toast to Kim everybody, yeah!

She's wasted.

[Khloé]
We are finally gonna go over to London.

I'm nervous, but very excited.

[camera clicking]

It's all on my shoulders
if it does well or doesn't.

- [applauding, cheering]
- Thank you. [laughs]

[♪ upbeat song playing]

[♪ singer vocalizing]

[♪ song fades out]

Being on a camping trip
with the girls in an RV

is a lot better than what
Khloé wanted me to do,

which is she wanted to drop me off
in the middle of the wilderness

and have me walk my way out
of there with, like, bears

and lions and tigers
and snakes and coyotes

all chasing me through
the [bleep] whatever it was

she wanted me to do.

So, I'm pretty happy.

[bell tolling]