All language subtitles for Tyler.Perrys.House.of.Payne.S13E11.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

[music]

Okay. Yes. Uncle Curtis,
we're both coming.

Yes, she's prepping the chicken,
yes, right now, uh-huh.

Yes! She seasoned
the chicken, man!

That's not nice, Unc, no.

Hey. Tell him
this is the last

of the prep that we are doing
in our kitchen.

We'll be there
in a few minutes.

Ooh, this is the last tray of
food that we are contributing.

I agree.

This is not,
this is a restaurant

where he's actually
paying for anything.

Well, ever since
they got featured

on your friend
Colby Jack's page,

you know, business
has been crazy for them.

Yes.

[C.J.] You know,
we just helping out.

I know. I know.

The food truck
is parked right outside

and I'm sure it's gonna
be really busy just, you know...

And why didn't
you just use their kitchen?

He's using their kitchen
to cook.

He needed us to help
just prep things.

-Hey. What y'all doing?
-Hey.

We are going to happily go
and help Uncle Curtis

with his cookout
at the food truck.

-Ah.
-You wanna join us?

Uh, actually, I can't.

Councilman Dustman
is stopping by later.

But, uh, Jazmine's
not doing anything.

How you know that?

Well, what are you doing?

Nothing, but that's
not the point.

So why you meeting
with the councilman?

Uh, well, he said
he had some good news for me.

-Oh, really?
-[Malik] Yeah.

He sounded pretty excited too,
so we'll see how it goes.

-Good for you. Yeah.
-That's really good, Son.

[cellphone ringing]
[Malik] Thank you.

[Janine griping through teeth]

Uncle Curtis.
[cellphone continues ringing]

Yeah. Answer him.
Uncle Curtis.

We are on the way.

You know what?
You know what you could do?

You could say,
"Thank you, Janine."

You could offer payment, Janine.
You could at least...

[call end tone beeping]

Why don't you just come
and hang out with your family

and help out?
It'll be fun.

I hope.

Fine. I'll come help.
Unlike somebody.

Did he just hang up on me?

I really need your help

keeping your mom
from smacking Uncle Curtis.

I got you.
It's my daily job.

Good luck with that.

[theme music]

[birds chirping]

[jet engine]

[siren wailing]
[horn honking]

[car alarm blaring]

[siren wailing]

[helicopter blades whirring]

[theme music]

-Okay.
-Hey.

-Hey! How are you?
-Good.

Okay, you can put this
right over here.

I made some space for you.

Thank you so much.
Ooh, this looks good.

-Oh, my goodness.
-Now wait a minute.

Uncle Curtis has you working
the cookout too, huh?

You mean "the chef"?

"The chef"?

That's right. The chef.

And you will address me
as such.

What's up, Uncle Curtis?
How you doing?

Mwah. I am fantastic.
It is a glorious day.

All right.

And why are you
out of order, Jazzy?

What you talking about?

Jazzy, you dressed
all cute and stuff.

Oh, this? I just threw
this old thing on.

That's a nice outfit you got
on there, Unc.

That is, actually.
Do we all get one of those?

These aren't outfits,
are they?

No, they're not, Chef.

Will you tell them
what they are.

They are sleek, modern,
state-of-the-art,

moisture-wicking ensembles

only meant
for the finest of chefs.

But if you ask me,

I think my bandana
is way cuter.

Thank you.
That's enough.

So you the sous chef?

You know, I came in as that,
but, apparently...

Assistant.
She's my assistant.

But she's my fiancée.

-Hey, babe.
-Hey, baby. Mwah.

Why can't you be on time?

Oh. My bad, Pops. I had
to get the boys situated.

Speaking of boys,
C.J., where are yours?

Oh, Malik has
a really important meeting

with the councilman today.

So we brought this one instead.

Gee, thanks, Dad.

[Ella] Wow.

-Hey!
-Hey, Aunt Ella.

-[all exclaiming and greeting]
-[Ella] Hey, everybody!

Hush! Hush!

Baby, why aren't you dressed

to work
on the food truck today?

Uh, Curtis, because I'm not
working on the food truck today.

Glo and I
are going thrifting.

Okay, well, on second thought,

keeping Glo occupied
is a great idea.

Curtis, when I get back,
my kitchen's gotta be in order.

Hey, Mrs. Payne,
I will make sure

that he does not
get carried away, okay?

Thank you. You look cute.

Thank you.

See, see? She liked
my bandana.

Can we stay focused, please?

I'm focused.

Let's get
to the marching order, okay?

Calvin... Quit eating
the product!

Calvin, C.J., I need you
to put the orders together.

Janine, Jazzy, I need
y'all to take orders.

-Oh, got you.
-Fine.

Okay, and me and my assistant,
we will hold it down from here.

Hey, hey, look,
they lining up, all right?

Look, they getting angry,
Curtis.

Look, they started
to shake the truck,

and you know
that suspension can't take it.

Okay, they on the way.

-Excuse me! Hey.
-Yeah, hey, how y'all doing?

Why-How y'all get new outfits
and everything?

That's what I said.

Get, get, get got!

Because Uncle Curtis
is selfish.

That's messed up, Pops.

No, it's not.
I am the HCIC,

the Head Chef in Charge,
you heard?

Well, can't we get
a bandana or something?

You know what?
Actually, there is something

I bought for all of you to wear.

-Oh, cool.
-And that's right here.

Forgot it right here.

They're so divine.
Here, put that on.

-Okay.
-A hair neck?

Uh-huh. Here you go.

You need a new one.

You need to wear a new one
every few days.

Few days?

-Thank you. Thank you.
-And you too.

You should've
had one on already.

You slipping.

So... Maybe I spoke too soon.

[doorbell ringing]

All right.

-Good day, Payne.
-Councilman.

-It is a glorious day.
-It is.

Have you been outside
to smell the essence?

Well, uh, normally,
there's a dog out there

that lays their essence
on the lawn.

So that's usually
what I'm smelling.

Yeah, I did see that.
That must be a big dog.

You know, you'd be surprised how
much these little dogs put out.

I don't know what's in
this new dog food of theirs.

But have a seat.

I can't. I'm too excited.

Oh. Must be excited about
that, uh, huge promotion

and huge raise
you about to give me, huh?

Now that was funny.

No, we caught Grady's daughter
on video

at a private party,
getting drunk.

One of our teammates
snuck into the party,

recorded it,
and gave it to me.

I've decided not
to release it just yet.

But I want you
to run the reins on this.

Uh... [chuckles awkwardly]

Well, how so?

I want you
to search her social media,

see what else you can find
to pair nicely with the video.

And then we'll release it.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, she became belligerent.
Got arrested and everything.

Grady's campaign
tried to hide it.

Uh, [chuckles awkwardly]
you know, Councilman, I...

[cellphone ringing]
Look, I gotta take this.

I'll get in touch
with you later.

This is Dustman.
Another fundraiser?

Oh, now you talking my language!

[door shuts]

Ooh. Come on over here.

Look at you
looking all sexy

in your chef outfit.

Oh, thank you. You looking
all handsome in your apron.

Oh, this? I stole it
from Junior.

-It's real cute.
-Thank you, baby.

No, it is not!

Yes, it is.
Look at him.

It's not cute.

Fraternizing is not allowed
on company time.

Oh, Pops, we was just taking
a little break.

I know what you trying
to do, Calvin.

But you are distracting
my assistant.

I'm sorry, Mr. Payne,
but he was not distracting me.

-Oh, yeah? Prove it.
-Not at all.

The sauce is simmering
on the stove.

The chicken and brisket
are ready

to come out the oven
in five minutes

and the burgers are ready
to come off the grill now.

Boom!

-Oh, you told him, baby.
-Yes, I did.

Okay, okay.

C.J., where you been?

Man, I sent Calvin out here
to get more burgers, man,

and now we're out!

Oh, my bad, I got distracted
by the sexy assistant.

I'm gettin' them.

Don't worry about it, Unc.
All right? We got it covered.

All right.

I think they're calling
out here.

All right,
I'm on it.

Ooh. Okay.

All right.
These are good.

You know what?
I'ma tell you this.

Good help is hard to find.

But I'm glad to say
you are an excellent assistant.

Well, of course
besides you and Calvin

getting freaky by the meats.

Okay. But thank you.
That really means a lot.

You welcome.

What about me?
Am I good?

Yeah, keep going, son.
Keep going.

Lookit, let me show you
how to properly sauce the ribs.

-Okay. All right.
-Let's do this.

-Let's do this.
-Let's do it.

Let's make it happen. Okay.

Uh, first, let me get these
right here.

-Okay. Okay.
-You can't be afraid.

Okay, let it bathe.

Gotta swim in it.

Put it here.

The sauce.
Woah!

That's how you do that?

-Okay.
-That's how we do that.

-[Curtis] Okay. You sauce it up.
-[Janine] All right.

Yes, sir.

Don't get nothing,
whatever you do,

don't get nothing on these.

This is why we got complaints
because of this right here.

What you talking about?
What kind of complaints?

The people are saying
that the sauce

is overpowering the meat,
all right?

And from the looks of things,
I tend to agree.

So, look, can you just
pull back on the sauce?

There's too much sauce
on the meat.

What are you talking about?

This is how I cook
my food, okay?

Okay, that's fine
and everything,

but people like
to at least taste the meat

under that sea
of sauce, all right?

Well, Floyd, maybe if you
would spend more money

on quality meats,

then I wouldn't
have to bathe them

in my heavenly goodness.

Well, if you and your little
sous chef over there

would just kinda pull back on
the sauce,

then we wouldn't have
so many complaints

because we are losing money.

-"Assistant."
-"Assistant."

-She's the assistant.
-"Assistant."

Well, let me assist you
in doing that.

We need to wipe these down
or something.

-You need to...
-[all gasping]

[yelling]

[Ooohs and yells]

That is my cue to leave.

My bad, man.
It was an accident.

I was just reaching
for the can just like this

and I was trying
to help you with...

[indistinct]

No, you didn't.

Yes, and I did it
on purpose too.

Okay, okay,
now y'all listen, listen.

Listen, listen
now y'all... Floyd!

Floyd, stop, stop!

Y'all gotta relax.
Now, listen!

Touchdown!
Touchdown!

No, don't use that!

[screaming]

How about some brisket?

-[Janine screaming]
-[men grunting]

You want some brisket,
I got some brisket for you!

Hey! What is happening?
Stop it!

Hey, Floyd!

No! Don't touch me!
Don't touch me!

Get your hands
off of this!

What is happening
in here?

He started it!

No, I did not!

I do not care
who started it!

Both of y'all are wrong!

Y'all are so wrong.

Y'all are business partners,

and y'all shouldn't be acting
like this!

Exactly, Uncle Curtis.

You should be ashamed
of yourself.

He started it
when he messed up

my brand-new designer jacket!

It was an accident!

-No, it was not!
-It was too!

Stop it! Stop it! Stop!

[indistinct]

Floyd, you go
into that room

and think about
what you did

and, Uncle Curtis,
you go outside...

I ain't even start it!

And you sit in the corner.

-I didn't start it!
-And think about what you did.

You did too!

Get out! Both of y'all!

You better leave.

[Jazmine] Slipping and sliding
around the kitchen.

Girl, look at this mess!

We gotta clean this up
before Ms. Ella gets back.

She gonna kill all of us.

She gonna kill
every last one of us.

Malik, ooh. [chuckles]

If Uncle Curtis calls,
you never saw me.

What you doing? Running away?

Yes. Yes, he started
yelling at me

from his bedroom window,
of all places.

Well, why was he doing that?

I don't know.

Something about
an argument with Floyd

and this and that,
and I was just so...

Hello.

Hey, what's going on
with you?

How'd the meeting
with the councilman go?

Um, it went.
It went well, I guess.

You guess?
Why you guess?

Well, I mean,
I have the chance

to do something
to actually get a promotion.

Malik, that's great.

That's wonderful. Okay,
so what do you gotta do?

See,
that's my dilemma.

He wants me to expose
the opponent's daughter.

Apparently,
she has a drinking problem,

and we got her on video,
getting wasted.

I see.

All right.

So on a scale of 1 to 10,
how bad is it?

Off the charts. Yeah.

I mean, if this footage
gets released,

it can completely destroy
this girl's life.

But on the other hand, I mean,

it might give us momentum
to change the public's view

and their opinion
about Grady Delshire.

So I'm tasked
with the job

of coming up
with the smear campaign.

Wow.

I am grateful social media
was not around

when I went through
my moment of darkness.

People don't like
to let you forget

when you mess up in life.

Those are the cons
of social media.

Yeah.

Malik, we all have a past.
We all need grace.

You now have the power

to severely alter
this young lady's life.

Now, I can't tell you
what to do with that power,

but if I was her,

and if you recall,
at one point, I was...

I would greatly appreciate
some compassion.

Thanks, Mom.

You never saw me.

I got you.

Oh, yes, God,
I'm so glad.

Hey, Aunty!

Hello, hello!
Where's everybody?

How was shopping
is the better question.

-Right?
-You know what?

I got a few things.
I got some things.

-[Jazmine] Okay.
-But we had to cut

our little trip short.

Glo got some phone call

about a neighborhood
disturbance, so...

Yeah, well, unfortunately,
Colby Jack

had to stop promoting
on his page

because things
was just getting out of hand.

Oh, is that why
Floyd is out there,

pacing around the food truck,
talking to himself?

Yeah, uh, he's probably trying
to calm himself down right now.

Mm, from what?

The little food fight he had
with Uncle Curtis.

A food fight?

Look at her shirt.
You see all that?

A food fight? Where?

[Both] In here.

You lyin' to me?
[chuckles]

No, no, no
wet food in here.

Not in my kitchen,
I know that!

Hey, hey, Aunty, you have
nothing to worry about, okay?

-We got it all handled.
-Right.

We made it look nice and clean
for you, spick and span.

It looks like it.
Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.
Where's the chef?

I sent him outside
for his bad behavior.

Bad...

Yes, ma'am.
He out there waiting on you.

-A food fight?
-Go get him, Aunty.

Get him!

Jazmine. Really?

How'd everything go, Curtis?

I don't even wanna
talk about it.

Okay.

Ella, can you believe
Floyd disrespected my sauce?

How, Curtis?

We had this little itty bitty
little itty bitty complaint.

Somebody talking about
the sauce overpowering the meat.

Something.

And do you know he gonna try to
tell me how to dress the meat?

You mean like
put clothes on it?

Exactly.

Only he wanted it
to be half-naked.

Disrespected my judgement, Ella,
and I'm sick of it!

Okay, I hear you.
I get it.

You two keep having
the same problems, baby.

I think you need to just stop

and do a serious assessment

about your partnership.

What are you trying
to say, Ella?

Maybe you two don't need
to be in business together.

Same problems, over and over
and over and over.

Baby, no.

For the sake
of your friendship,

I think the two of you,
ha,

just need to go
your separate ways.

You know what?

I think...

Curtis.

No. You're right. This time.

I think that would be
the right thing to do this time.

Sorry to show up
with my hands full, Payne.

It's all right.
I got you.

I had to get me a plate
from the food truck

before they closed.

That food was delicious.

The sauce was
a little overbearing

but good, overall.

Well, that's my Uncle Curtis.

Uh, you know what?

I wanted to talk to you
about that conversation

that we were having earlier. Um.

All right, let's hear it.

It sort of think there might be
a better approach to it.

-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.

-Let's hear it.
-See, here's what you do.

You ask to meet
with Delshire by himself

in private,
away from the media, okay?

You get him there,
you show him the video.

Of course you know
how he's gonna react.

He's gonna be embarrassed
about it.

But you let him know,
"Hey,

"I don't even have to go
that low.

"You see,
I'm better than that.

"When I got the power
to destroy someone,

"and I choose
not to use it,

"the power is in my control.

"And you don't have to do that.
You don't have to win that way.

"You're better than that.

"And if you really care
about this,

we gonna run an honest race.
I'll delete this video."

Yeah. Yeah, you sure?

I'm sure.

People will disregard Grady's
entire campaign altogether

when they find out what kind
of lifestyle his daughter lives.

And the people
have a right to know.

They do.
They do have a right to know.

But think about this.

What if it backfires?

Now, look,
we both know

that this girl
has a problem.

But broadcasting it
all over the world,

people might say
you're insensitive.

You don't want that.

This is what you could do.

Win by actually showing
compassion.

And you let him know that.

Mm, I like
the way you think, Payne.

[both chuckling]

I need more people like you
around me.

Yeah.

-Well done.
-Thank you, sir.

Let me get out of here.

[both laughing]

And, hopefully, that sauce
is better next time.

Oh-ho, I bet it is.

Your friendship
is more important

than all of this drama.

You right, Ella.

Friendship before business.

I'm good with that.

So how much did we make
on the barbecue, Floyd?

Uh. I made some money.

Well, you know whatever
you made, I get half of it.

Uh, we don't do
the 50-50 split

until I get paid
my investment back.

We just signed the contract.

Well, the contract
hasn't been filed yet, Floyd.

What's that supposed to mean?

Supposed to mean
I'm getting my 50-50.

-Hand it over.
-No!

You don't get 50-50

until I get 100% back
on my investment.

We ain't filed the contract yet,
Floyd.

That means I get 50%
of what we made.

No, you ain't put in no money,
you don't get none out

until I get mine back.

Put in the money?
I put in the recipe.

I put in the skills.
I put in the cooking.

It was my family cooking up
a storm, working hard.

Sweating!

So what? I can't pay nothing
with no sweat.

You gotta give me
everything

that comes in the door

before I'm able to give you
anything in return.

Oh, shut the hell up
and give me my money.

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