All language subtitles for Tyler.Perrys.House.Of.Payne.S13e15.1080p.Av1.10bit-Megusta_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[Laughing]

-Ella! -Curtis, I'm coming baby.

-Hurry up! Come here, come here. -I'm coming!

You just asked for the beer.

Baby, here before it start ringing,

pass me my phone, since you right there.

-Curtis. -[phone rings]

Don't be calling me in here because you lazy.

If you want a personal butler, win the lottery.

Will you answer the phone, who is it?

I don't know, it says unknown caller.

Maybe it's the lottery saying that you won.

I don't know who this is. Hello?

[Antoinette] Hello, Mr. Payne?

-Speaking. -[Antoinette] Mr. Curtis Payne?

Speaking.

[Antoinette] This is Antoinette and I'm a producer

from ICP Studios here in Los Angeles, California.

Oh, baby, we won the lottery.

-You what? -Act normal.

Yes, yes, yes. This is him speaking.

[Antoinette] So a video came across my desk,

and I really love to get you in the studio

to talk about your Boss Sauce brand.

[exclaims giddily]

[Antoinette] And if all goes well,

we would love to have you on or hit TV show, Barracuda Pool.

-Curtis? -OK.

-That's wonderful! -[Antoinette] Great.

I have some information that you might want to write down.

Wait, hold on, hold on. Hold on.

Give me a pen, Ella. Give me a pen.

You ain't got no pens around here!

-Curtis. -Why we ain't ever got pens?

-Here's a pen, baby. -Thank you.

You want me to write it on the table? Thank you.

-Curtis, I don't know what-- -Couldn't open it for me?

Hello?

[Antoinette] Are you ready for my email?

Yes.

-[Antoinette] It's Antoinetta. -OK.

-[Antoinette] At BarracudaPool -OK.

[Antoinette] Dot com.

OK. That's long.

OK. That's, uh, yeah.

[Antoinette] Oh, and one other thing.

We're going to need Floyd's information as well.

Floyd? Why you need Floyd's?

Antoinette] Well, on our show we like to cast business partners

because it makes for better TV.

The hell?

OK. Um, look here. I'll let you know.

I'll send this stuff off.

Antoinette] OK. The sooner you can get it to us,

the sooner we can get you on our show.

OK. Thank you.

-OK. -What happened, baby?

You and Floyd somewhere trying

to win some scratch-offs together?

The only scratching that dirty dog is doing is for his fleas.

Ugh.

Baby, that was a big shot, Hollywood producer.

OK, uh, Hollywood producer?

Curtis, I thought you said you won the lottery?

I did.

She saw our sauce on that viral video they was showing.

OK.

She wants us to pitch the sauce on Barracuda Pool .

-Barracuda Pool ? -Barracuda Pool !

Wait Curtis, that's the popular TV show.

Thank you!

Where the entrepreneurs pitch their products to a--

Yes, the same one.

The panel of the wealthy investors!

-The very one. -Curtis.

-That we watch all the time. -OK, wait a minute, baby.

Now, maybe this is the lottery. We're going to be rich, rich.

We're not going to be rich, rich.

-No we ain't. -Why not?

Because, me and Floyd aren't partners anymore, Ella.

[music]

I dream about Sauce Boss being a national brand all the time.

Then why don't you just call Floyd?

I dream about choking the hell out of Floyd all the time.

Come on, Curtis. Uh-uh. You are old friends.

Baby, we aren't friends anymore.

And we're definitely not business partners.

And I have moved on.

Baby, this opportunity can change our lives.

And the lives of Calvin,

and the lives of our grandchildren.

OK, you can stop all that.

I'm not sharing my cheese with them money grabbers.

Curtis, baby, it's what you've worked so hard for.

Yes.

So, put on your big boy apron and do what's best for us, baby.

And the family's legacy.

You're right, baby. All right.

But I am not apologizing!

I'm s-s-s-s.

-[Floyd] What was that? -[Ella] Floyd.

I'm s-s-s-s.

Come on, Curtis. You're almost there. Just say it.

-I'm sorry. -Yes. Good.

Then I gotta pretend like I'm sorry

so you'll go on Barracuda Pool with me.

You know what? That's fine.

Because, you know, when I told you that I was sorry,

-I didn't mean it either. -I know you didn't.

-Fellas, fellas. -No, no. It's OK.

No, all we gotta do is go in there and present our sauce.

-And then-- - It's my sauce.

Curtis.

So, present our sauce.

And then we go ahead and get a deal.

And then we can collect the moolah.

Amen.

So, let me ask you this. When's the taping?

They're gonna shoot my sauce tomorrow.

Apparently, one of the entrepreneur teams got sick,

and we're subbing in.

So, we got a red eye tonight.

-Tonight? -Yes, sir.

You know, the twins love it

when you bring Christian over to play.

-I enjoy it, too. -Really?

[C.J.] Yeah. Yeah.

You know, I do enjoy getting to catch up with you.

You know, I know that everything between you and Calvin

worked out the way that it was supposed to.

-Yeah. -But, uh, you know.

Everything works out for the best.

Yeah. How are you with this whole wedding thing?

I'm... I'm OK. You know?

Calvin and Laura, they love each other,

and I'm happy for them. Yeah.

-Yeah? -I have, uh.

Hey! I've moved on.

Oh. I heard that, Miranda.

OK, moving on.

And speaking of which, would you like to go to the club

with me and my girls tomorrow night?

-The club? -You should.

-It's about to be lit! -What club you going to?

Club 37.

And you remember my old boyfriend from high school?

-Leroy Provery? -The one with the hook head?

Yes, Dad. He's a famous DJ now, actually.

His stage name is DJ Spicy Two!

Well, his stage name need to be DJ Big Hook Head.

You can say what you want, but he makes crazy money now.

Oh, OK.

Actually, as a matter of fact, Laura asked me to ask him

if he could DJ her and Calvin's wedding.

-Really? -Mm-hmm.

-Is, is he expensive? -Uh, yes.

But he and I go way back, so he's giving them a discount.

-Oh, OK. -Yeah.

That's nice.

-He's only charging 5,000. -What? 5,000 what? Dollars?

-Mm-hmm. -And, and Calvin is paying that?

He said he was. I think he's making good money now.

Huh. Must be nice.

Miranda, what do you say? Come on. Club with me?

-Club with me? -No.

Come to the club with me! Let's have a girls night.

Listen, listen, listen. Thank you for the invite.

I appreciate it.

However, I'm going to have to decline.

You and your girls go, enjoy, have fun.

Fine, we will.

Can you believe that Calvin is spending $5,000 on a DJ?

I take it you haven't seen the bridesmaids' dresses.

Oh my goodness.

I bet they are fancy as hell and just expensive, aren't they?

Well, uh, are you sure you've moved on?

I mean, listen, if you haven't,

it's OK for you to feel that way. I'm just curious.

CJ, do you remember how much work

I put into getting Calvin to shape up?

To get a real job? To get his stuff together?

Yeah, the struggle is real.

The struggle is really real. And now look at him.

He's a catch. He has his stuff together.

And I don't get to reap the benefits

of all of the hard work that I put into it, she does.

-Hey, hey. -Calvin!

Man, we were just talking about you.

Oh, yeah? Good stuff I hope.

-Yeah. -Or not.

Anyway, glad you're here, Miranda.

Laura has me playing delivery man.

-So one for you. -Oh.

And one for you.

"You are hereby cordially invited

to the wedding of Laura Willis and Calvin Payne."

Some fancy, uh, card stock here.

-Hey, I didn't pick that out. -Of course you didn't, Calvin.

What's up, Calvin?

You know what, Jasmine?

On second thought, I will take you up on your offer.

Yes, I will go with you and your girls

to the club tomorrow night.

Ooh, we about to hurt him! We about to hurt him!

Excuse me? To where?

Miranda and I are going to the club.

We about to drop it like it's hot!

No, no, no. I don't think so.

She's not even dropping it like it's lukewarm.

Um, excuse you? Says who?

Says our son, who you have tomorrow.

So no running the streets for you. Sorry.

Ain't nobody running the streets, Calvin.

We about to be driving the streets.

That part.

And Christian can have a sleepover with the twins.

Right, Daddy?

-Um, sure. Why not? -Sure. Why not?

[Jazmine] I love you. Love you, too.

Problem solved.

Come on, Floyd! Come on.

[Ella] Ooh!

Oh, OK.

I see you, Mr. Hollywood!

I see you, Floyd. Oh!

-Hey now. -I like the shades.

These little old things? Thank you, baby.

You know, I always say I try to dress

how I want my title to be.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and I want my title to be independently wealthy.

Ooh, yes.

Well I told Curtis his best bet is to just be himself.

Acting natural and letting his true heart shine through

is what's gonna have those investors

offering you guys a deal.

Yeah.

[Curtis] Get your wallets out, Hollywood!

The Sauce Boss is on his way!

I guess that's a good idea.

[Ella gasps]

Curtis, I told you to be yourself.

Baby, this is myself.

Finally, this is me, my true self, filthy rich!

You cannot go on TV looking like a broke pimp.

You are right. I don't wanna look broke.

Baby, let me borrow your diamond necklace.

I can drip it right on this, right here.

You know what? Forget all this. We gotta get to the airport.

Yes, please. Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Break a leg. Break two.

You know what? Forget that. Don't do that.

Just have a safe trip, guys. And, uh, good luck!

-Thank you. -No, good luck to you,

because you need to clean out the garage, baby.

Now why would I have to do that?

So we have some storage for our new money.

Grab those bags, peasant. I mean, partner.

-Hey, hey. What's up, cuz? -Hey.

-You ready for the big game? -Um, not really.

Both of these teams is garbage, man.

Why you wanna watch this game?

It's a good game coming on tomorrow night.

Oh, uh, well, my favorite player is on this team.

Who?

Oh, you know, the, uh, the tall one with the face.

-They all tall with a face. -[footsteps descending stairs]

Oh, heck no. Uh-uh.

You better go back upstairs and put some clothes on.

Daddy, I'm going to support my friend

at his place of business. OK?

Don't look at me like that.

Every young person wears this to the club nowadays.

Sorry we don't dress the way women used to back in your day,

but Wooly Mammoth's pelt's been out of style.

Ha ha.

That's not gonna be funny when I take you off my insurance.

-[knock on door] -Hello!

[both exclaim wildly]

Oh, heck no. Where do think you're going dressed like that?

I'm going to mind my business. You should visit there sometime.

What are you doing here?

-Me? -You.

Oh, I was, uh, just... watching the game.

Mm-hmm.

Miranda, you looking snatched, OK? Snatched!

You too, my love. We are gonna make the boys go crazy.

-Ay! Ay! -Ay! Ay!

Ain't no ay-ay. It's like a F-F. That's what that is.

Tonight's weather forecast?

Salty with a chance of bitterness.

Back to you, Miranda.

Yeah, whatever, man.

Daddy, we'll be back. Don't wait up.

Kiss my baby for me.

All right. Have fun. Not too much.

See y'all later.

And put those coats on. It's cold out there.

Yeah, what he said.

Is that why you came over here to watch this garbage game?

Because you wanted to spy on Miranda?

Maybe.

Ain't no more maybes, Calvin. It's either I do or I don't.

You're about to get married to Laura.

Yeah, I know.

But it's like I told you. I mean, I love Laura.

But I still love Miranda, too.

Well, you better make a decision and stick with it,

because this ain't fair to Laura, Miranda, or yourself.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Welcome home! Welcome home! How did it go?

-How did it go? -Oh. Curtis ain't tell you?

What Curtis told me is that he would wait until he got home

to tell me everything.

Baby, the hotel they had us in had chocolates on the pillow.

And the refrigerator didn't even have a zip tie on it.

OK Curtis, I don't really care about the hotel, baby.

I really want to hear about the taping, OK?

-Was Mr. Amazing there? -Yep. Sure was.

It was him, Brenda, all the barracudas.

OK, so you all walk out,

you see all of them sitting there smiling.

And then what?

Well, after Curtis explained to them

about the secrets to the family sauce and everything,

and then I showed them the numbers,

and that's when we passed out all the samples.

And that's when all hell broke loose.

Ah, no. No, they didn't like it?

No.

They loved it, Ella.

-[Floyd] Yep. Mm-hmm. -Oh, this is wonderful.

OK. They loved it? OK, this is wonderful.

So did any investor offer you a deal?

They all did.

This is exciting. This is really exciting.

So which offer did you take?

I mean, they were all great offers.

They actually started a bidding war.

-A bidding war? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I am so proud of you two!

OK, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Don't tell me you did not take a deal.

I mean, they were all great offers to pick from.

I mean, look, this is life-altering money

they were talking about.

The hardest part was trying to decide which one to pick.

Yeah, that's kind of where it went sideways.

Curtis, you did not start arguing, did you?

-I didn't start arguing. -Floyd?

-Hm? -You started arguing?

Look, Curtis wanted to go with Mr. Amazing's deal,

-and I didn't. -OK, well, why not?

It's because Brenda's was a better deal,

and it was for more money.

It was not. For more equity .

[both argue]

Hey! Listen! Aha. And cut.

All right. Which one did you take?

Man, that club was lit! I can't believe you didn't have fun.

Oh, no. I didn't have any fun. I can't feel my toes,

these shoes are the devil,

and I'm still coughing from all the smoke,

I think I lost hearing in my right ear,

and one of these drinks is so expensive.

I spent, like, my whole mortgage on one drink.

Miranda, you got to make it to the couch.

-I can't! -Yes, you can.

I know the dogs are barking, but just hop.

Just hop. One foot. One foot each.

[both scream]

Why are you sneaking up on people like that?

What are you doing here?

Why are you on CJ and Janine's couch?

That's a great question. What are you doing here, Calvin?

Oh, well, see, me and CJ,

we were watching a game, having a couple drinks.

I guess I accidentally fell asleep.

I mean, your pillow and blanket says different, but you do you.

-Miranda? -Huh?

-I had a lot of fun tonight. -Oh, yes!

I know deep down, you did too.

Yes, it was lit. Oh, wee!

You had a lot of fun, huh?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I had a good time.

It was, it was lit.

The only bad thing was the club closing so early.

I am definitely going back. Ooh, ooh.

Yeah, I bet they was all over you, huh?

You probably gave your number out, huh?

Why do you care?

You've given your number out to everybody we know.

-Huh? -Ouch.

The RSVP, Calvin. Right there. Oh, my goodness.

-So that's what this is about? -No.

That's why you going out, trying to show me what I'm missing,

-trying to make me jealous? -No, Calvin.

This is about me living my life and enjoying myself

and moving on, just how you have.

Whew.

With your ultra premium card stock and your $5,000 DJ.

Miranda, look, I wish I could afford the things that I can now

when I was with you.

-Look, it's fine. -No, it's not fine.

I wish I was the man then that I am now.

And honestly, I appreciate you helping me get here.

-You're welcome. -You deserved better.

I still do.

So what are you saying?

I'm saying that I'm clear

on what I desire and what I deserve.

And I deserve someone who does, too.

You know, Calvin, thank you.

Thank you for the invite. That was...

It was really big of you and Laura.

And, um...

I'll be there.

[Miranda sighs]

-Miranda. -Yes?

Drive safe.

OK.

OK you guys, this suspense is killing me.

Which offer did you take?

-We took-- -Nobody's.

Nobody's deal? Why not?

Well, by the time me and Curtis got through arguing,

all the investors took all the deals off the table.

-Ugh! No, no, no! -Yes, yes, yes.

She come talking about "Nobody wants to...

No investors want to invest on business partners

who argue all the time.

It's not a recipe for success for business or in life."

-Like, I need to hear that bull. -She wasn't wrong, Curtis.

Oh, yes she was. She passed up a golden opportunity

to work with The Sauce Boss, Ella.

And that's why exactly after we left,

right out of there at that Barracuda Pool ,

we went right out and we had a new idea

that we're going to get a brand new sauce

that's gonna catapult us into a brand nationwide.

-[Curtis] You got that right. -[Floyd] Mm-hmm.

We doing barbecue sauce for fish.

-Genius. Touchdown. -Hello!

-It's for fish, Ella! -Come on, for fish!

Can you believe it?

And guess what? It go best on barracuda!

-[Floyd] Come on. -That is so dumb.

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