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♪ Tu-bi Tubi ♪
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- Tonight, we show George that we are the picture
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of class and professionalism.
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- Breaking into somebody else's house?
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- What's this? A murder?
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You'll need to find the antidote and win the grand prize.
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Drinks with the birthday boy in his private speakeasy.
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- Yeah, no, we can't be on the same team.
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- What's done is done. - I'm a Firbolg.
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- No! You D&D? - Yeah.
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Ten-foot-two, eyes of blue, baby!
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(laughter)
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- And it's congratulations, Buffy!
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- It's a big boppin' honour, sir.
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- See you at the pitch. Where I will win.
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- Sure, Monica.
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- Hey, y'all. What a ride these past few months have been.
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Being promoted to CEO,
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an award-winning Boppin Burger campaign that I got to star in.
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And to top it all off?
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Being this year's
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Woman in Creative Advertising award winner?
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I'm so grateful, humbled
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and all that other self-deprecating stuff.
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And I mean, would you get a look at this thing,
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I mean isn't she gorge?
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Wait.
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Why does that say Monica Marks?
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What is happening?
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(screaming)
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(FaceTime ring)
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Hello?
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(Oliver): Chrysanthemum. It's Oliver, did I wake you?
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- No, not at all!
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- You do know this is a video call, right?
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- Oh my God!
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- Yeah listen, I just wanted to give you
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a few words of encouragement before your Boppin Burger pitch.
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- Oh! Oh, that's so kind.
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- If you don't land the account, you're fired.
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- Wait, what? - I'm a grinder, too.
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If it wasn't for those mouthguards,
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I'd have nothing but gums.
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(sighs)
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(theme music)
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♪ Cuz we bolder
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♪ I'm gonna run this city ♪
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- Melvin? How is this possible?
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- Well, it's costly starting your own business.
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- Yes, I know that but,
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how can I be low on money?
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Oh God, am I poor?
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- Ah, you're not poor! - Oh, thank God!
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- Actually, borderline indigent. - What?
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- You started a business, you purchased supplies,
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you redecorated an office, you hired a publicist,
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you threw a big party,
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not to mention you rent a space in one of the most
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expensive office buildings in Manhattan.
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And, I keep seeing this charge
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in your business account for microneedling?
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- Yes, well, it's a very important,
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uh, office charge for the photocopier.
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I still don't understand how I can be in this position.
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I have new clients!
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- Not enough to keep the lights on. Not long term.
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- Melvin, I can't go back to Hoboken!
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- All I'm saying is, something need to change.
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And fast.
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New Jersey's nice in the spring.
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Just before the landfills get too hot in the summer.
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- Oh!
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(sighs)
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I can smell them already.
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(dubstep music)
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- We found a significant increase
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in our Boppin Burger patronage
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amongst our key demographic, 18 to 24,
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between the hours of 11PM and 5AM.
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Okay, next slide.
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Next slide, Clem. - Oh.
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- Oh my God.
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Is that a poop emoji in place of a burger?
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For our professional presentation?
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- It's a patty placeholder.
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That I forgot to change for our professional presentation.
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- Well, delete it. Now.
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- I am, I am. - Chill, mama.
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- I can't constantly be double checking your work.
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I really need you guys to pay attention.
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- I am paying attention,
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which is how I caught you being a little spicy
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and I said, "Chill, mama!"
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(sarcastic chuckle)
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- Cue the music.
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(house music)
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Picture this, it's the party of the century.
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- Young people are drinking,
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dancing, having the time of their lives.
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- When they get a text alert on their phone.
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Two for one, late night deal!
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There's only one place to go!
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- Boppin Burger, ey! Boppin Burger, ey!
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(Clem & Elliot): Boppin Burger, ey!
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- Boppin Burger, home of the afterparty.
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(both scatting)
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(both laugh)
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(music stops)
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- Guys, seriously!
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George is a cis-straight white man in his 60s,
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I don't think he's gonna appreciate the theatrics.
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- Or maybe he will.
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I mean, I had Beau question everything.
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I wanna be able to do the splits, like personally.
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And professionally, of course.
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(groans)
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(house music)
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- And the sustainable,
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recyclable,
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oh God, it sounds stupid.
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Ugh.
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- Happy pitch day!
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- Oh! My goodness.
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Uh, Doug?
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You look like Braveheart went to Pride Weekend.
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- It's giving freedom.
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Isn't it great?
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I'm showing that we can bring the Z.
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- Oh!
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- It's made to measure, Italian wool, custom silk lining,
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and it's got the perfect hidden pocket for...
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No. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
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- What is it?
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- It's Tiny Claus! He's missing!
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(deep breath)
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- Can we please just stick to the script?
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- Is there such a thing as being over prepared?
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I just feel like we're taking the magic out of it,
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the inspiration.
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The "je ne sais queer."
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- Okay, but need I remind you, if we don't nail this,
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Oliver's going to fire us.
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I don't think there's any room for magic and inspiration.
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- But that's our secret sauce. - No, I am the secret sauce.
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- Excuse?
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- Ha! Okay.
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- Oh, what, you two think you're the sauce?
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- Well, yes!
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- I definitely felt a little saucy.
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Like barbecue, only tangier.
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- Child, you have not been doing this long enough
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to accrue vacation days,
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so I suggest you get off this power trip.
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- I will, when you two finally do your jobs!
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- We've been doing our jobs the whole time!
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The magma pitch, the mock commercial--
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- Okay, so twice?
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Because otherwise, you've just been redecorating the office,
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playing pranks. - Guys.
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- You asked us to do those things!
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- Okay, but you abandoned me at George's party,
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and then you left me with Monica!
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- Girl bye!
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You probably loved being stuck with her
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because you want to be her,
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and honestly you're kind of close.
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- Elliot!
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- I said what I said.
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Finish the transformation and get a Diet Coke.
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(loud gasp)
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Come on, Clem.
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Clem?
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- Clem?
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- Clem?
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- Umm.
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I'm sorry, I'm just really confused right now.
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- You're seriously leaving?
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What is wrong with you guys?
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- What's wrong with us?
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Nothing is wrong with us,
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you just think you're Deena in Dreamgirls.
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Fine, I'll be Effie, and I'm telling you,
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you are not the main character!
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Oh, and guess what?
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I quit.
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See you next Tuesday.
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Clem! Let's go.
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(house music)
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(breathes deeply)
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- Doug, what is that? A plastic bag?
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No, you do that with a paper bag,
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you could asphyxiate yourself!
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- Well, good! I have nothing to live for anyway.
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You don't understand, Monica,
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I can't exist without Tiny Claus, I need him!
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- Doug, we are preparing
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for the biggest pitch of our careers,
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and you're worried about some dumb little doll?
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- If I had a glass of water, I would throw it in your face!
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Okay, he's not some stupid doll, Monica, he's my entire world.
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- Okay, sorry if I seem to pass judgment,
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let me rearrange my face.
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(sighs)
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Go on.
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(sighs)
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- My Lola, grandmother,
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gave me Tiny Claus when I left the Philippines.
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My parents had emigrated to the United States,
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and Lola raised me until they got on their feet.
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She loved Christmas. I mean, we all do.
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When I was seven, I had to fly to Oregon
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all by myself to meet my parents,
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and I was so scared.
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Lola gave me Tiny Claus
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and she said as long as I had him,
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she'd always be with me.
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- Aww.
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- And then she died.
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(gasp)
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- Right then? - 16 years later.
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- Oh. - Yeah.
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There's one other thing you should probably know about.
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- I know about the shapewear.
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- Filipinos are very superstitious,
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and there was only one other time
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where I didn't have him.
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And that's the day we got fired from Atelier.
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- Doug, we have got to find that dumb doll!
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- Figurine! But yes, let's go.
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- Let's go.
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(dubstep music)
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- What are you gonna do for work?
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- I'll pick up a couple drag brunches here and there.
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I've been doing an Ariana Grande/Lord Of The Rings
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crossover based on her little boyfriend
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and people have been loving it.
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- You're probably not gonna find another job like this.
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- Says who?
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- We literally only got this job cause Monica and Doug got fired.
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It took them years to get where we are.
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- Not with a face like this!
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- A flawless face will only get you so far.
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Trust me, I know!
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- Mm-hmm.
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- You're really not worried?
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- Watch how unbothered I am.
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(dubstep music)
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- Home sweet home!
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- I can't believe I've never been here,
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I didn't know what to expect,
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but this like any normal 40 year old woman's apartment.
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Except for the Christmas tree.
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Oh, what's that?
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- You'll see.
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(computer voice): Access granted.
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(Christmas music)
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(gasp)
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- Who wants some cocoa?
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(laughter)
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- Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!
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- Welcome to the Doug Pole!
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(nervous laughter)
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- Oh, oh my, oh my God!
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- Isn't it great?
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- Uh, y-yeah, it's wow!
266
00:09:58,133 --> 00:09:59,600
- Ah!
267
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,366
You need a passport to enter!
268
00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:04,733
- Doug!
269
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:05,866
(clears throat)
270
00:10:05,933 --> 00:10:07,566
- What is the purpose of your visit?
271
00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:08,666
- Business!
272
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,266
- Do you have any fruit? Produce?
273
00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:13,166
- Okay, we gotta hurry up. Let's go.
274
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,866
(sighs)
275
00:10:20,566 --> 00:10:22,066
- Kriska! - You can't quit too, Annabelle.
276
00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:24,066
I need you here! Yes, you are abrasive, often insubordinate,
277
00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:26,066
and I seriously question the amount of prescription drugs
278
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:27,766
you take, but you have to stay!
279
00:10:27,833 --> 00:10:29,900
- You need to leave for the pitch.
280
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,200
I'm glad it's in another office,
281
00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:34,566
I think we could both use the time apart.
282
00:10:39,666 --> 00:10:43,166
- Tiny Claus? Where are you? - Here, here's a, here's a guy.
283
00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:45,500
He's tiny, he's Claus, he's a Tiny Claus.
284
00:10:45,566 --> 00:10:47,000
- Okay, you don't have any gloves on.
285
00:10:47,066 --> 00:10:49,400
This is Père Noël from the town of Ivoire
286
00:10:49,466 --> 00:10:52,300
overseeing the first freeze on the French Alps. Okay?
287
00:10:52,366 --> 00:10:53,933
- Okay. Doug? We gotta go.
288
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,966
We gotta find uh, how about this one?
289
00:10:56,033 --> 00:10:58,833
Here, it's... - No, that's not him, okay?
290
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,966
- Doug, we have got to go, we've got work to do!
291
00:11:01,033 --> 00:11:02,966
- You know how much Tiny Claus means to me, okay?
292
00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:04,400
I can't leave until we find it.
293
00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:06,533
- I, this is silly, we can't do this all day.
294
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,633
We've gotta get to work! We can't keep looking for it.
20606
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