All language subtitles for Il.Ficcanaso.1980.ITA.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.x264-UBi

Enough! Give me back the house keys.

I even come to wake you up
in the morning!

- I have to wash the sheets now
- There is no need.

- The ink goes away by itself.
- I shit in my pants.

You should've imagined. You said you
feel things before they happen, huh?

When you shit in your pants,
you notice a half hour later?

You don't have premonitions. You're
afraid! Where'd you like to live?

- On the landing.
- You have a fixation.

- It's not an illness.
- Yes, I have pantophobia.

- The fear of pants?
- No, the fear of everything.

I sense danger ahead of time.
Susanna says I have ESP.

You believe everything she says,
because you hang on to her words!

- Don't worry.
- How can we be serene?

Our life is full of homicides,
massacres, mysterious deaths.

Don't read the papers.
You're tense.

You don't even relax in the john.
I read "Mickey Mouse" and laugh.

- Do you read in the bathroom?
- No. I shit by heart.

Your attention, please.
Don't cross the yellow line.

He said you must not cross
the yellow line.

Not even with your nose!

You see?
Twentieth Century Fox presents

"It Doesn't Take Much to Have
a Good Laugh!"

Lucky you!

Thanks. Carla, you're still here?
Didn't you have a phone installed?

No. If I didn't answer my clients'
calls here, I could close shop.

- Carla, how's life going?
- Fine. Soon you won't see me again.

- I'm opening up a dry cleaners shop.
- Aren't you a stenographer?

Yes, but when I presented myself
as a stenographer,

the director said, "Get undressed",
for only 150,000 liras a month.

So I thought I'd undress
professionally.

- Now I earn 150,000 liras a day!
- Why don't we do her profession?

- You need a certain something.
- Good morning, accountant!

- Some bicarbonate soda, please.
- That's how he has breakfast.

He hasn't digested
his spitefulness probably.

- He pretends he doesn't know me.
- So, Mr. Tripodi...

Yes. He gives it all he's got,
but has the instinct to hit.

I got a lot of beatings in the life.

- Got that? Mr. Tripodi...
- Guys, it's late. Bye, Carla.

- I must have my coffee!
- We'll get a head start.

Luciano, excuse me.
"Where is Waterloo". 6 letters.

What is Waterloo?

Maybe a fountain that lost the war.

Lino, wait!

- You wanted to knock her up, huh?
- That girl? Of course not!

Right! You have a platonic love
with Susanna that satisfies you.

Isn't a healthy distraction
with your hands better?

Isn't it more fun? For me,
life is one big entertainment!

You know who'll get
the first joke of the day?

Morassi! Let's go.

Keep up the good work here!
We transporters start later!

If I tell you what happened
with Edwige, we'll be up all night!

- Don't tell us about it.
- Luckily she's never on time!

- Otherwise, she'd have met Sabrina.
- Who is she?

Another girl who is crazy about me!

- What is this joke coming?
- Here he is.

My God!

This one is all worn out!

- Tripodi is coming! Go to the side.
- Kick inside the goalpost!

If you keep on wasting time,
I'll fine you.

Don't complain
if the pay check is lighter.

- Persichetti, come here a minute.
- Yes.

You're distracted. In the last
delivery you left 2 boxes in the van.

It must not happen again! Get the
delivery papers, come to my office.

Guys, are you ready?
One, two, and three!

No. I... Look...

Great friend!

Good morning, Mr. Ubaldi.
Were you looking for me?

- Yes.
- Please, come.

Mr. Ubaldi...

I wanted to say that I received
another union complaint.

They keep on asking
for you to be fired.

I don't know what to answer anymore.

Can't you try being less... finicky!

No, damn it!

As head of the legal office
you come here once in a while.

You're not in close contact
with those loafers.

In the courtrooms and in your private
office, you see many delinquents.

But believe me,
these aren't any better.

I feel like a warden
in a penitentiary.

Come in!

Here's a great one. Give me
the papers to sign, Persichetti.

Let's try to respect
the schedule, please.

Naturally...

- Do you have a pen, Persichetti?
- Here it is, sir.

Persichetti!

- This is the last straw!
- Maybe not. There may be more.

- Imbecile!
- Am I speaking in Turkish?

I just told you about the unions.
How can you prove it's a provocation?

You asked him for a pen.
Change your tone, please.

I won't change a thing!
You change. Is that clear?

Very clear.

If you want,
I'll give my handkerchief.

Persichetti, go away!
Go away, Persichetti.

Go away.

It squirted in his mouth.
His teeth were all blue!

- You could have told me.
- What kind of joke would it be?

Conclude with the Moda Sport
salesgirl. Tomorrow they bury her.

- It hurts!
- What?

I have a headache
as if I'd received a blow.

It's strange.

What a blow!

- Me?
- Who? Me?

- Oh, the one I got earlier?
- You just hit your head.

- You noticed it now?
- And you? You noticed it earlier?

You look like you're crazy!

Persichetti, I checked the gas
and the speedometer.

If I find out you take the van
for personal use, I'll report you!

Know what's the difference
between Tripodi's face and an ass?

There isn't any!

- We've already met.
- Lino, let's work!

- Will you help us unload?
- I have a store full of customers!

- Just a moment.
- Let's hurry. The customers...

There's this other one...
He can't see anything, Lino!

- Will you guide me?
- I'll guide you!

Watch out for the store step!

Go! Go!

Darn you!
You put me on the bus!

- Do boxes pay?
- Yes, but shitheads don't.

Get tickets only for the boxes!

Do you have the premonition
that we'll run out of gas?

- No. I'm going up to Susanna's..
- Today too?

Her husband is curing me. I can't
buy Serenol without a prescription.

I see. He gives you medicines
for the depression you get

because you can't screw his wife.
How long has this been going on?

I've known her since we were kids.
She introduced her husband one day

and I remained the family friend
who never did a thing.

You'll never do anything if you
don't decide. Pounce on top of her.

I get blocked.
I once was alone with her.

- We were in the dark.
- What did you say to her?

I showed her my fluorescent watch.

- Nothing else?
- No.

She is convinced that you have
great supernatural powers.

Did you perform
some miracle with her?

No. One day we were at her home
and the phone rang.

I tried guessing who it was.
That day I guessed them all.

Since then... She writes
for a parapsychology magazine.

She looked at me strangely... more
interested. I went along with her.

- No, you didn't.
- Her beauty intimidates me.

What are you lacking?
You too, in your own way...

If I press charges against
my dad and my mom, I'll win.

Hurry, or we'll be late
at the cafeteria.

I'll go do nothing, and return! Wait.

Come in. The door is open.

- Did you bring tongue, too?
- I never go out without it.

Luciano! Sorry. I thought it was
the butcher's boy.

Why are you here?
The dinner is tonight.

Your birthday begins this morning!

You are so sweet! Excuse me.
I must prepare everything now.

In the afternoon, I'm going
to a parapsychology conference,

presided by Bolinski.
- Seriously?

- What is he?
- You don't know?

He is an authority
in experimental metapsychology.

It's the first time he can leave
his country. Know where Ukraine is?

How can I know where you put things,
if you don't remember?

Come on! It is a region of Russia.

I hadn't understood.

Excuse me. I studied at San Filippo,
almost a reformatory.

All my companions were delinquents.

I quit studying early,
and was never good in geography.

I thought that the Saint Bernard
was a 1,400 meter dog.

Your difficult childhood
increased your sensitivity.

I'd like to take you with me
to the conference

as an esp person.
- Yes.

By the way, something strange
happened to me today.

I felt a sudden pain
before receiving the blow.

Amazing! So it's as I say.

We must never leave each other
again. Bolinski says it, too.

Did your husband talk to Bolinski?
I enjoy being with you.

- I wanted to tell you that I...
- I'm going to the hospital.

- I think I'm coming too!
- Are you hurt?

It's nothing. He created my
intelligence line that I didn't have.

You recuperated some spirit.
Disinfect it and put a band-aid.

Goodbye.

Today Luciano had another one
of his anticipated reflexes.

Again? I think it's just a case
of neurovegetative dystonia.

No. He had a precognition.
It's a classic case of esp!

- Can one recover?
- I hope not.

ESP, Extra Sensory Perception.
You have esp powers.

Susanna, why do you insist
on always involving Luciano?

Don't give him the responsibility
of being a sort of clairvoyant.

Only antibiotics exist for him.

- Do you have Serenol?
- Yes.

Take four a day and
the premonitions will go away.

When you finish it,
I'll make out a new prescription.

For me, the telekinesis
is just a television program.

Bye, love.

Bye.

Susanna, it's late. Lino is waiting
for me downstairs. I must go.

- I wanted to tell you...
- What?

- To say hello to Bolinski.
- Oh! Thanks.

The doctor said I am weak.

He said I must nourish myself
and cut my sex life in half.

- Aren't 8 hours a day too much?
- If your arm resists...

- How did it go with Susanna?
- As usual.

But this time, besides a broken
heart, I've an injured hand.

I'll make you have a good time.
We'll see if you remain immobile.

What joke did you organize?
Goat shit in the place of olives?

- No, a joke for Tripodi.
- Be quiet. He's in front of us.

- I came here on purpose.
- What do you want to do?

See?

- This 50,000 lira bill seems normal.
- Instead?

It's not. It's printed
on a special magician's paper.

- When in contact with human heat...
- What happens?

Look.

- Is that 50,000 lira bill yours?
- Which one?

The one that fell from your pocket.

Oh, yes. Thank you, Persichetti.

Damn delinquents!

Tripodi is on fire!

The flames are coming out
from his ass!

I've a date with the salesgirl
tonight. Why don't you come?

- I'll have her bring a friend.
- No. I've Susanna's birthday party.

- Ok, do as you please.
- Wait for me a minute.

- I'm going to buy a gift.
- Ok, I'll take the van back.

This morning I took this letter
for you, and forgot to give it.

It's a promissory note
I have to pay to Gustavelli.

- Who is he?
- A swindler. See you tomorrow.

- Hurry. They're closing.
- Take the van.

Your attention, please.

Customers are kindly asked
to hasten their purchases

because the department store
is closing in five minutes.

What is it? I've a heart problem.
I'm afraid of the dark.

Hey! Open!
Isn't there an alarm? Where is it?

Hey! The elevator is stuck. Open!

Giovanni, turn off the lights.
We're going home.

Open. I'll give you all I have!

You're not very lucky.
I don't have one lira.

Isn't anyone here?
They all left.

Wait! It's 8:12 and it looks
like a desert.

Wouldn't you know I'd get the oasis?
Where's the exit?

No! You already fooled me.
The stairs...

Don't shoot! I'm not a thief.

I'm stuck in the elevator.
I'm unarmed!

Please, move the gun...

Oh, God! He hit his head!
Did you hurt yourself?

Come, I'll help you. Get up!

What is going on?

Did a doctor see you?
It's not normal.

It's a mannequin! Go drop dead!

I give up! Don't shoot!

Is it the rats' squad car?

If I don't leave right away,
Big Jim will come with a helicopter

and lock me up in Barbie's house.
My Serenol!

The phone! Someone call.
They realized I am here.

Where is the phone?
I think on the floor below.

Hello! Hello!

Hello! I'm the guardian angel.

Mr. Angel, you who are
the guardian, come get me.

I'm stuck in the elevator...
What? Guardian angel?

In person. I know what will happen
in the upcoming days.

I wanted to advise you
that you'll die of fright.

End of joke. Tell me who you are
and get me out of here!

I am the guardian angel.
Do you think I'm joking?

You'll have proof that I'm serious
with the first corpse.

- Corpse? What corpse?
- The one belonging to Gustavelli.

They'll find him in your basement
with a busted skull.

I can feel your terror racing
on the telephone line,

but don't get too scared,
or what will you do?

Just a moment!

Hello!

Hello!

What an idiotic joke!
Gustavelli's body in my basement.

If he wanted to scare me,
he was successful.

Did I take too many?
I must find the exit.

Good thing it's full of bikes!
I'll get there sooner.

Go! Let's go!

So many holes!

How long is this Rinascente?

Do I have a flat tire?

I'll continue walking.
You can't trust vehicles.

Even if a find a taxi,
I won't catch it.

My brain is all messed up.
I don't understand jack shit.

I walk and walk, and am still
at the Rinascente?

Is it another elevator?
Ground floor, please.

- Coming at 6...
- The bed closed again.

It's a trap.
I bought one for my father-in-law

and every night at midnight
it snaps shut.

If we forget him inside,
he'll starve to death.

Did I sleep standing in the closet?

Darn!
This mannequin is really ugly!

The study presented
by Professor Bolinski

shows how individuals
that have an inferior intellect

are more inclined to
extra sensorial perception.

Hello! It's you, Luciano!

- Excuse me. I was detained.
- In the assembly?

No, in an elevator. They even played
a phone prank on me.

A strange voice said that I'd find
a corpse in my basement.

It could be one of
your premonitions. Wait a minute.

- Hi.
- Hi, love.

- It's Paolo. He just got back.
- Is it Luciano?

- Understand?
- Did he have another premonition?

- How do you know?
- I'm beginning to have them, too.

I foresee that if you don’t stop
with this nonsense,

Luciano should put on
a strait jacket.

I don't understand.
I calm him down, and you agitate him.

Luciano, let's talk about it later.

- Try coming here.
- I foresee that he can.

- Bye. See you later.
- Alright. Bye.

- What did she say?
- That maybe it was a premonition.

- What's that mean?
- That I called myself on the phone.

- Wasn't it busy?
- What an idiot!

The voice said that Gustavelli
died in my basement. I'm afraid.

Why don't you call Gustavelli?

He hates me because I paid him
a promissory note at the notary's.

- I can't ask him if he's dead!
- He'll tell you to drop dead!

- You compliment each other.
- Miss Carla, good morning.

Why do you call me "Miss"?
How can he be so shy?

Luciano is the only guy
who didn't put his hands on my ass.

- It's because there's no room.
- Put the hat there.

- A sombrero is better.
- Very funny!

- Two coffees, please.
- I'll have a chamomile tea, thanks.

The two coffees are for me.
I need them.

- Hello! Carla, it's for you.
- Who is it?

- Mr. Vanzetti.
- Tell him I'm not here. He's crazy!

He wants to make love at the
cemetery, or in an explosive factory.

There's nobody left who wants
to make love normally.

Today people don't have fun
with these things.

They prefer watching TV.
Children are born tv-dazed.

- You don't have children?
- I'm not married or engaged.

Why didn't you ever look for me?

Maybe it's as you say,
I'm too shy.

We can make amends right away.

- What's wrong? Don't you feel well?
- Huh? No.

You look at me
like a goldfish in a bowl.

No. Last night
I had a strange adventure.

I slept badly and feel tired.
I don't know if I can work.

My batteries are dead
and the engine has gone off.

NANDO BANCHETTI
SPORTS ELEGANCE

Is this a racket or a frame
for a photograph?

How does it look on me?

- Lino, should I take them all?
- Unload two. I'll do the rest.

I've a butterfly collection.

Or do you like Chinese prints?
I have everything at home!

- I cook great dishes. Will you come?
- I am married.

Lino, it's an idiotic joke!
Come on!

It was too heavy.

They all broke.
What'll we tell the cafeteria?

Leave him to me!

I'll break a bone
for every plate you broke!

Just a moment.
Some are all in one piece.

Can we use this to save my nose?

Then let's start from the head!

- Then we'll continue!
- I've nothing to do with it.

My friend always plays jokes.
He is thirty, and still plays!

The handcuff joke is funny, but...

Are you real policemen?

I don't think this is a joke.
Lino!

Yes, I know him. He's Gustavelli.

He's dead, huh?
They killed him.

Then it's not a joke.

Hello! What?

A bomb? A time bomb?

Evacuate the area.

Today the explosive disposal experts
received eight calls.

So... What is it?

- Serenol. Want some?
- Yes, thanks. I finished mine.

Help yourself, go ahead.
Have some.

Thanks. I'll save these for later.

Hello! Yes. Chief Luisetti.

What? A massacre?

You call three deaths a massacre
in times like these?

It's not my area.
Advise Chief Travaglini.

Hello! Brain?

You can't find the brain?
The cat must have eaten it!

Yes, make me zucchini.
See you later, Mom.

So!

Oh, yes. So...

Gustavelli's body
was in your basement.

You say you've nothing
to do with it, right?

Exactly, Chief.
What reason had I to kill him?

72 good reasons.
Here they are.

72 promissory notes signed by
Persichetti Luciano for 5,000 liras,

for a total of 310.000 liras.
They were in the dead man's safe.

Tell the truth, Persichetti.

Did the dead man blackmail you?

No, he swindled me.
He gave me a used 600.

We have no record
of you owning a car!

It's always been in the garage.
The motor gave out right away.

Give me another pill.

Yes.

It's crazy.
Killing a man for 310,000 liras.

I don't know if you're a monster
or an idiot.

Chief, someone wants to frame me.

I can't have killed him.
I have an alibi!

Last night I didn't go
to Susanna's birthday party.

Oh, you didn't go...
Is that your alibi?

- Isn't it enough?
- Let's go on, or I'll go crazy.

You said you didn't go
in the basement.

I would go to the basement
knowing Gustavelli's body was there?

- Did you know about the body?
- Yes. Didn't I tell you?

- I was advised.
- By whom?

I received a phone call at the
department store around midnight.

The department store
at midnight is closed!

But that is my alibi, Chief.

I understand. I'm going crazy.

Let's see. To create an alibi,
you don't go to the party,

and go to the department store
which is closed!

Who did you talk to? Give me
another pill before answering.

Who did you talk to?

With my guardian angel.
Chief, they will be bad for you!

With him personally?
There are many imitators around.

Yes, he said he was the guardian
angel. Do you believe me, Chief?

Many strange things
have happened to me in my life.

Once a murderer said
he killed his wife

because Saint Joseph
ordered him to do so.

A thief told me that the receiver
who bought the stuff was the Pope.

The guardian angel story
is new to me.

But it's not funny, and I hope
you don't expect me to believe you.

Persichetti! We are not
the Anti-Mafia Commission here!

Chief, he tells me
that they'll kill Gustavelli,

and you insinuate
that I'm the culprit?

I was locked up
in the department store all night.

If you find just one person
who believes this story,

I'll have surgery done in Casablanca
and become a policewoman.

Yes, Chief Luisetti.

It's incredible.

It seems that someone last night
snuck into the department store.

Don't worry, Chief.

If you have the operation,
no one will bust your balls anymore.

You'd do so, even in that case.

- Come with me.
- I'm coming.

Where are we going?

We have continuous control
with the surveillance cameras.

In each room of the department store
one is always on.

- That's me, Chief.
- Quiet, Persichetti. Wait.

- That's me.
- It's dark. It could be anyone.

Without lighting, we can't see much
on the surveillance cameras.

But I spent the night in there.

- You think I don't know. It's me.
- Right.

- It looks just like you.
- "Just"? It is me!

I have a typical Greek nose.
It looks like a column.

Without a doubt, it's you.
Go home and remain at disposal.

But isn't anyone at my disposal?

With a murderer who's upset with
me going around, I should be calm?

You're not investigating
on who called?

We'll investigate and see
if this guardian angel exists.

Even if I have to call the Almighty
from the Vatican switchboard.

What are we toasting to?
The worst day of my life?

Today you went through
terrible moments,

but in some way you had
already sensed them, right?

Then let's toast
to a happier tomorrow,

to your know-how
in the paragnost field. Alright?

Or to your paranoid disturbances.

Each time something interests me,
it's always nonsense to you!

Pythagoras, Plato, Kant and
Schopenhauer were all idiots?

No, but there are many visionaries.
Many mediums have hernias

from holding up tables
with their knees!

I have premonitions.
Will I get a brain hernia?

Why not? Imagination
plays ugly tricks sometimes.

You see a fly and think
a helicopter is assaulting you.

Let's toast to the things
we believe in.

Re-incarnation, transfer
and parapsychology.

Santa Claus, Little Red Riding Hood
and the stork.

Paolo, don't do that.
I somewhat believe in re-incarnation.

In my past life
I must have been a salmon.

When I take a shower, I feel like
swimming against the current.

Instead of "re-incarnated",
I has "re-fished".

Excuse me, Paolo.
She talks about premonition,

but I really received a phone call.
What should I do?

Take a nice vacation and fix up
your nerves. You're breaking down.

- A nervous breakdown?
- Yes.

Why do you treat him
like the village idiot?

Me? You keep on saying
he has esp!

- Alright. I'm going.
- Are you angry?

I am on duty at the hospital.
Have a nice evening.

- Bye.
- Bye.

This always happens.
Each time we talk...

We only get along in bed.

We don't understand each other.
He only believes what he touches.

In bed?

Maybe I made a mistake
in marrying him.

Too bad he isn't like you
one little bit!

- He was lucky, huh?
- I meant the personality.

Luciano, you are a wonderful man.

You never get angry, you're so sweet.
And you predict the future!

I don't know about the future,
but I can say what's about to happen.

- What?
- Someone will kiss you.

I forgot my cigarettes.
Don't badmouth me, huh? Bye.

Bye. See?
You predictions always come true!

Let's do a small experiment.
Concentrate very hard.

- Tell me what you see now.
- I see a woman.

- How is she dressed?
- She's over there. She's coming.

I'm glad to see you.
Sorry I'm late, but I found traffic.

- Did we have an appointment?
- Didn't you call me?

- No. Must be one of Lino's jokes.
- Do you have esp?

- I don't...
- She deals with levitation.

- He raises... tables.
- She works in the factory, too?

No, she is free-lance.
Miss Carla, I didn't call you.

Are you looking for an excuse
because you met her?

Me? Of course not.

- My name is Carla.
- Susanna.

Don't worry.
I'll leave you right away.

This restaurant is part of the chain
the Arabs bought.

What do you think about
the Middle East position?

I never tried it.

Excuse me. We are celebrating
a tragedy that happened to me.

I see. Excuse me. Goodbye.

Bye... Goodbye.

Bye.

Sorry, I barely know her.

Don't justify yourself.
You have a right to a private life.

- But... it's a questionable choice.
- Yes, but it's strange.

Excuse me, sir, we must close.
The bill.

You bring it without a hood
over your face and a machine gun?

You ordered the best champagne.

It was Roosevelt, Churchill and
De Gaulle's favorite label.

- They're all dead, with such prices!
- Please, we are closing.

Let's go continue the evening
somewhere else.

Yes. Let's go to a calm place
and speak in peace.

- I can't hear anything!
- Me either. Speak louder!

- My ears are bleeding!
- A mask for you.

What is it?

How do I look?

- Oh, great!
- I can't see anything.

- Hi, Susanna! How are you?
- Fine, and you?

- Did you know I got married?
- Really?

- Come, I'll introduce my husband.
- Sure. Luciano, excuse me.

Susanna! Susanna, I can't hear you.
Speak louder!

This time I will talk.
I'm not afraid of that phone call now

and I'm getting back
a great joy of living.

The mask gives me courage
to say what I can't confess to you.

I am in love with you.
You say I have esp.

It's true, but maybe it goes
beyond the limit of imagination.

I know my future and yours,
but I can't reveal it to you!

I can't? Yes, I can!
I exist in your immediate future.

I'll take you away. I'm dying
to get along in bed with you.

You'll desire it too.
It's written in the stars

which I can read perfectly!
Love...

I'm going. Goodbye, ma'am.
Good evening.

- Bye, Susanna.
- Best wishes, Simona. See you!

Did you change your mask?
It's so ugly!

- Couldn't you choose a nicer one?
- They insisted so much.

- Oh, God, who is it?
- What are you doing?

- How did you get in?
- Lino gave me the keys.

You always receive people
who bring coffee in bed like this?

I'm a bit nervous. No one
ever brought me coffee in bed.

My dad woke me up with hammer
beatings, Lino, by knifing me.

- I'm not used to coffee in bed.
- My heart goes out to you.

It's a wonderful occasion.
There's a bed, there's you and me.

- Let's see if something happens.
- Absolutely nothing will happen.

I've a lot of worries.
I received a call from a guy...

They killed a man.
The police questioned me.

No, listen, I...

I know. I'm ridiculous.

They look like my granddad's
underpants, but they're comfortable.

Underpants are out of style today.
No one uses them anymore.

I don't know if you noticed it
in movies.

They don't wear underpants. What
do you think about sex in movies?

- Very uncomfortable.
- Forget I mentioned it.

My granddad never wore those
underwear. He didn't have money.

- A difficult childhood?
- My father was an alcoholic.

My mother worked in a brothel.

- What can I say? Some are born lucky.
- I'm not complaining.

My mother loved me.
But there's a lot of cynicism today.

There are no sentiments anymore.
When they make love today,

women don't look at their husbands.
They turn his photo around!

Why didn't Lino come?

He wanted us to have a great time.

Can we do it with words?
Oh! It's late!

Could I have a ride with your car?

This is yours. It can't be mine!
Let's hurry.

It was embarrassing
to be in the room with that girl.

Why do you keep on playing
these jokes? I'm nervous.

I'm distracting you.
You can't foresee a joke?

I don't know if I'm a clairvoyant
or an idiot. I should be blessed.

I'll please you right away.

It's diabolical, son.

Almost too incredible to tell.

It's the second time in a month
that you've raised prices.

It's all pure cotton, Father.
There are burgundy ones too.

Black!

We're out of black socks,
but we ordered them.

- When are they arriving?
- Here they are.

- Thank goodness!
- Put it here.

- We were lucky.
- You must sign the delivery note.

- Just a moment. I'm busy.
- Alright.

Excuse me, Father...
There must be a mistake!

Sorry.
His head is in the clouds.

That is the sexy shop box.
What did you do?

- It's a joke you played on me.
- Me? Would I ever play a joke?

No, never. Please!

I've always said that this Pope
has very clear ideas.

Hello! Ecclesiastical clothing
and sacred vestments.

No, you're wrong.
There is no Persichetti here.

- He is Persichetti.
- Wait. I'll let you talk to him.

The sexy shop opened the box with
the priest's clothes. What'll I say?

- Not to wear them.
- Hello?

I am your guardian angel.

Now it's attorney Ubaldi's turn,
and then it's your turn, too.

- Who is it?
- The guardian angel!

The first time could be a coincidence.
Not the second time.

He said he'd kill me too! I haven't
the courage to go to the police.

The chief suspected
that I was the culprit.

I must know what to do!

- Who is the next victim?
- You, Mr. Ubaldi.

The voice said "Attorney Ubaldi,
Via del Poggio 49A".

Me?

- What are you saying?
- The guardian angel said it.

Persichetti, you and your friend
take your work lightly,

and I can close an eye,
but this joke is in very bad taste.

Until now, everything turned out
to be true.

- What the hell do you want from me?
- How can you not understand?

- If you die, I'll die too.
- Go away!

Go away. You'll be added
to those who will be fired!

- Better than a coffin!
- Go away!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Persichetti, I can't arrest you
without a precise accusation.

Unfortunately,
bothering a chief is not an offense.

If Ubaldi dies, it's my turn.
I'm only safe in prison.

If he lives to be 100,
you'll stay 100 years in jail?

I feel safe here.
Let me stay with you tonight.

I am going on
a dangerous operation.

- I am not in danger?
- Persichetti, I know.

Do you think I'm taking
your case lightly?

I think of you even at night.
Not in that sense.

I don't understand why
that madman keeps calling you.

- I'll let you know soon.
- Where? At the cemetery?

Persichetti, you are safe.
Don't worry.

All of your moves are watched. Want
to know how often you go to the john?

Think what a bother it is
to deal with this topic too.

I don't want to die,
nor should Ubaldi die!

Attorney Ubaldi is being watched
and you won't die!

Now leave before
I start getting nervous.

- Otherwise you'll arrest me?
- No! I'll kick you in the ass.

No, Mom. I wasn’t' talking to you.

Late, Mom, late.
I have a surprise.

Not a surprise for you!
A surprise action.

Please. Fifty of us are going.
Why should they shoot me?

Yes, I have a bullet proof vest.
I have the heavy one.

Hurry, let's get moving!

They used to be easy interventions.

Gambling houses, elegant places
and beautiful women.

Or some big shot
who shit in his pants.

Now, Mafia, drugs, crimes,
some deaths. What's here?

- Cartridges and machine guns.
- Put them in the back!

Ouch, darn it!
Don't shoot. It's me!

Chief, you can arrest me
for being clandestine.

- I won't protest.
- Should I stop?

- No, it's late.
- Where are we going?

- To fuck off.
- Then I'll wait for you in the car.

You stay here.
They are drug traffickers

and don't want to joke around
with us. Stay down!

Chief, you can't leave me like this.

I don't trust staying in the car.
Chief!

Return fire!

Go to the upper floor,
pass from the back!

They don't joke around,
not even with me!

Surrender!

Oh, God!

Thank heavens
I fell on the flour.

Why do they keep it here?
It's humid. It'll get ruined.

What a strange taste!

- Stop! You're under arrest!
- Come on! Put your glasses on.

You have them on.
Then take them off.

- Impallomeni!
- Yes, Chief.

- Well?
- Only two injured.

No trace of drugs though.

It's strange.
The information was clear.

50 kilograms of cocaine.
I'm sure it must be around here.

Love, love, take me tonight

on the light wave, the light sea!

Love, love!

Pull up. I know now.
Everything is clear.

- Come on, come on!
- Easy, watch out!

What flour, Chief!
What flour!

He's more inside than outside.

"Marchetti Nicola".
Look who is here!

Brigadier, how many orders
are there for imprisonment?

- We arrested eight.
- This is the ninth.

"Persichetti Luciano"!
Who put him here?

Me, Chief. I filled out the form.
If you will sign it...

Oh, God!
Weren't you in the infirmary?

I was dismissed. I'm well now.
They gave me some Valium.

Detention of drugs.
If you will sign...

You enabled us to find
the drugs hideout.

- I should give you a prize.
- Oh, yes? May I choose?

Spending the night here for you
is a prize. For me it's a punishment.

I have my habits,
and there's my mother, too.

Please, don't make noise.
She is a light sleeper.

Chief, you think that
Ubaldi will die tonight?

If I wasn't a police chief,
I would hope so.

The idea that you'll still be here
tomorrow devastates me.

Here's the armchair. Good night.

No, I...
I don't want to bother, Chief.

- I talk in my sleep.
- Even in your sleep you talk?

- What did I do to deserve this?
- Pinuccio, is it you?

- Oh! Who is he?
- Ma'am...

- Excuse me, Mom.
- Is he sleeping here?

- He's a friend. He'll sleep here.
- I see.

I was looking for company and...

My Pinuccio, don't tire yourself out.
You are delicate.

You had that disease
when you were little.

- Mom, don't worry. Go on.
- Alright. Be careful.

- Yes, Mommy. Good night.
- Good night.

- Take care.
- Go to sleep.

- Chief, what illness did you have?
- Leprosy.

You are still in time to go,
if you want.

Chief, who do you think
is the guardian angel?

As Luciano Persichetti, you can have
at the most 3 personal enemies,

but as a member of the community,
you have loads.

Loads of madmen who hate you
just because you're part of humanity.

Even if looking at you,
I don't understand which part.

You don't suspect anyone?

They killed a shark
who had more personal enemies

than hairs on his head.
I suspect everyone, even you.

We live in a society where
who isn't suspected is dead.

You said nobody hates you
and that you never hurt anyone.

- Exactly.
- That's not true.

If someone is blackmailing you,
without you realizing it,

you pissed off a madman
who now wants revenge.

You would leave me alone
in this situation?

He could kill me.

You're not alone.
You're alive and protected by us.

We are all in danger here.
We're all afraid of being alone.

Take for example fans at the stadium.

Among 100,000 people,
one always yells "Nando! Nando!"

He is afraid of being alone

among 99,999 people.

Understand, Persichetti?

The boy fell asleep!

In my bed!

Move, at least!

How wonderful!
We crowned our day.

Listen...

I've an appointment.
Room number 14, please.

At the end on the left.

Excuse me.

Susanna!

Luciano, I'm sorry
if I had you come here,

but I didn't want it to happen
in your house or in mine.

- What should happen?
- I want you.

I want to be with you. Come.

Excuse me a minute.

- Morassi! What are you doing?
- I want to see the end.

You're not a bit ashamed?

I came to see your end.
I'm the guardian angel.

Come on, Morassi!
What sort of joke is this?

It's incredible.
You thought I was an ordinary man,

a ladies' man, superficial.
Instead, I have fun killing.

Like all murderers,
I'm unsusceptible.

I'll be right there, Susanna!

Luciano, what is going on?

Excuse me, but...
the door was open.

- Who is it? Paolo?
- No, it can't be.

Coffee!

You go, please.

Wait, huh?

Pretend nothing happened.
It's a joke, just a joke.

I got carried away,
and have more fun killing people.

You can't imagine how irresistible
your terrorized face is.

I am the guardian angel.

I had a friend lend me his voice...

But...

Lino!

- Luciano!
- Susanna, excuse me a minute!

It's not by chance you're in this
hotel where I receive my clients.

The voice on the phone
was mine.

You always refused me. Why?
What don't you like about me?

You're worse than the others. People
humiliated me, since I was a child.

Now they humiliate me by paying me.
But you humiliate me more,

because you don't even want me free.
I haven't forgiven you.

I am the guardian angel.

Well, Luciano?

Strange things are happening.

I saw Carla, and she said
she's the guardian angel.

You're wrong, love.
I am the guardian angel.

You have the premonitions,
and I carry them out.

We are a perfect couple.

It was inevitable that sooner or
later you'd make a false move.

But I'm not the type
you can leave.

You can't escape the revenge
of the guardian angel.

My love! We'll die together!

Excuse me.

My love! My love!

Love...

Excuse me, ma'am,
but it's been a long time since...

- Be quiet. I don't want to know.
- Know what?

- For me, you've just slept.
- In fact.

I was saying it's been a long time
since I've slept like this.

Don't make the situation more
serious. I'll explain later, Mom.

If you want to have breakfast...

I'd better go to the bathroom first.
It's free.

Yes, it's better.
Excuse me, Chief.

My Pinuccio...

At least your brother chose to be
a choreographer. But you...

Me, what, Mom? Don't get
strange ideas. I'll explain later.

In Sweden, for example,
certain things are normal.

What things, Mom?

If you don't want to talk,
I won't say a thing anymore.

But remember that a mother
understands everything.

- And forgives everything.
- Alright.

- Carla!
- Hi!

- What are you doing here?
- It was the last customer.

I've enough money to open
a dry cleaners shop!

Now you'll lower your pants
in front of me only to remove spots!

- I'm happy for you.
- It's a beautiful day!

- We have an account pending.
- He won't pay, and has debts.

- Coming to the inauguration?
- Yes, I am.

- You?
- I'd love to.

Then in 15 days. Bye!

Dry cleaners stretch you clothes.
I once took a sweater there

and was given back a big skirt.
- We'll go in our underpants!

- Holy smokes! Is that how you brake?
- I just thought of something.

Again? Another premonition?
I'll ask to be coupled with Morassi!

- Will you do me a favor?
- What?

The first on the left
is Via del Poggio.

Attorney Ubaldi lives at 49A.
Can you see if anything happened?

- Ubaldi? Why?
- I'd feel reassured.

Alright, I'll go.
Stay here and wait for me.

I'll go find out
and come right back!

Run! They killed Ubaldi.
The chief is looking for you.

- He was with me all night!
- They killed him this morning.

- The doorman testified.
- What did he say?

That it was someone with a nose
like yours! Let's run!

Let me finish. Stop!

You stop.
No one is looking for you!

Stop! Luciano, it's a joke!

It's one big joke.
None of it is true.

Ubaldi is fine. You were nervous.

I did it to ease the tension,
to give you a hand. Understand?

- Darn you!
- I'll make your eyes black and blue!

You'll need both your hands
and your feet!

Are you running away? Come here!

Where are you running?

Let's go around the block
and jump on the van.

- We'll do some jogging too.
- They'll bust our ass!

I'll kill you!

- Luciano! Luciano!
- What is it?

They killed Ubaldi.
Luisetti is here.

Lino! This is no longer a joke.
It's being mean.

You have no sense of limit.

Luisetti? You know what?
Fuck off you and Luisetti!

Very nice of you. Thanks.

It was the least
after what I did for you.

Excuse me. I thought
it was one of Lino's jokes.

- Did Ubaldi seriously die?
- Can a person die jokingly?

I don't know.

The guardian angel tricked us
once again.

- What happened?
- This afternoon attorney Ubaldi,

during his weekly game
at the Tennis Club,

hurt his hand with a small nail
on the tennis racket handle.

The officer controlling him
didn't bother with it,

but when Ubaldi came back
from the locker room, he collapsed.

And he died. Definitively.

Everyone thought
it was a heart attack,

but I had the racket
he played with, examined.

It remained
in the club's locker room for a week.

I found out that someone
had tampered with it.

- Chief, you're looking at me?
- I'm not cross-eyed.

The small nail with which Ubaldi
scratched himself

was full of a powerful poison.
- Then I have to die, too!

Persichetti, we all must die,
but not now.

You must continue peacefully
living and working

as if nothing happened.

The only way to deceive death...
and I'm an expert...

is to pretend nothing happened.

Be brave. Soon our guardian angel
will make a false move.

- It's crazy!
- You're telling me?

I am going to arrest a madman
who shot at a crowd of lunatics

that had gathered to see
the madman shooting. It's crazy!

Persichetti, don't make
any false moves.

See you. Don't say "at the cemetery"!
I'm not sleeping with you anymore.

- I'll only be saved if I kill myself.
- Luciano, keep calm.

This matter can't go on forever.
Maybe he won't call again.

- Luciano, come to the phone!
- Right!

- Will you go, please?
- Yes, but don't worry.

Yes? No, it's Lino.

Yes. Yes...

Yes.

I'll tell him right way.

- I'm the next one?
- No, Susanna...

- Susanna no!
- Keep calm.

Susanna said to join her
at this address. It's important.

I wouldn't go. She's always
in some kind of a mess.

You think an extra mess
can ruin the average?

I've the pleasure of introducing
the Italian phenomenon.

The man who will create
sensation in the world.

The man who offered
to try our experiment

of determination of the aura.
Please, come.

This device visualizes a person's
bioenergetics aura.

Now go behind the screen.

We'll have electric energy
go through your body.

You will feel a slight shock.

Please observe.

We'll see the person's silhouette
surrounded by a bioenergetics aura.

The greater the thickness
of the aura,

the greater the extra sensory
perception of that person.

You can proceed.

There.

The current is going through
the body of the person

whose profile
we are beginning to see,

from which the typical halo
of the aura will emerge.

The person
we are examining today...

ran away.

Luciano, I tried the experiment too.
It's nothing!

You are all crazy!
Do you think I'm a guinea pig?

- It's not dangerous.
- It's all dangerous!

Ubaldi really died,
and after him, it's my turn!

Are you Persichetti?
Lino is on the phone.

Lino, what is it now?

What is it?

It was the guardian angel! He said
Carla Foscari is the next victim.

Via Arbia 71.

We met her at the restaurant. She was
about to open a dry cleaners shop.

Was it a real voice?
It wasn't a psychic voice?

Susanna, it was a real voice.
Let me call the chief!

We can't waste time.
Maybe we can save her.

Take me to the E.R.
I feel sick.

- Where are we going?
- In Via Arbia, right?

- Then stop!
- We've arrived?

- No, but I'm getting off! Stop!
- It's an important test.

Don't you think I'm afraid?

If we can save her, we'll call
all the chiefs of the world.

Who gives a darn about that girl!
I have finished living!

Maybe you talked to someone else
and didn't understand.

Or that murdering madman
calls to go on terrorizing you.

- Yeah!
- Are you following me?

Yes. He's following us, too!
Want to bet he's the guardian angel?

Don't get fixed on that.
Not all those cars are following you.

What if we go up and the murderer
is waiting for us?

I don't think he's that stupid.
It's unlikely that he's still there.

It's possible. Maybe he called me
to have me come here.

He said he'd kill me.
Please, let's leave.

- I don't mean anything to you?
- You mean a lot, but why say that?

You are important for me, too.

Maybe you don't have esp,
but I want to go on believing it.

I am sick of predicting deaths.

All I need is to work
in a funeral home as informer!

- Let's leave.
- Go on. I'm going inside.

No, wait.

After me.

It's open.

It's open.

She must have left.
Let's leave and return later.

- Let's go inside.
- It's not very polite...

Let's ring first, cough... Wait.

I'll go first.

I'm the man, right?

Miss! Miss, we found the door open.

So we took the liberty of...

Luciano, watch out!

Light, brigadier!
Block the exits.

I've nothing to do with it!
I have electric powers now?

- May I?
- Please.

Thank you.

- May I?
- Please.

It's monstrous!

Who is it?

The party alibi lady.
Three deaths ago. Remember?

- Who did it?
- We heard the door open

and hoped
the murderer had come back.

Instead, it was this ball-breaker.
Sorry, I mean this nose poker.

We're still at this point?
That guy keeps killing.

I may be the next one,
and you don't know who it can be!

I know that you're not the next one.
We'll catch the murderer.

- The rest isn't your business.
- Will it be after my autopsy?

I already feel like a corpse! I feel
the murderer breathing down my neck!

Maybe he's waiting for me downstairs.
There he is! The murderer!

Murderer?
He's the policeman following you.

So... I can't remember
what question I was to ask.

Oh! Could you tell me...
You're not obligated...

how you got here?
- The usual call, right?

- At the Convention Room.
- Was this lady there too?

Yes. I saw him on the phone, but
couldn't hear what he was saying.

I'm beginning to think it's all true.

Until now, I thought it was just
a parapsychology phenomenon.

Parapsychology?

Could you explain that, madam?
Explain it.

Explain everything
from the beginning.

- In 1880...
- What did you say? In 1880?

In America, the Fox sisters
discovered that man

had extra sensory perception.

Studies in Italy were made
by Lombroso, and in France by Richet.

They are Nobel prize winners.
We can't say they're charlatans.

I would never dare say that.
Just a moment.

Brigadier, go to the pharmacy
and get two tubes of Serenol.

This one.
The situation is not easy.

- Where were we?
- In 1880.

Oh! Have them give you three.

Nothing happened before 1880?
I must know for the pills...

Lino, let's hurry.
The two girls are waiting.

If we don't get there in time,
we'll find them at the cemetery.

I'll be right there.

- Luciano, how are you?
- I couldn't be any worse.

- They put you with Morassi.
- Come back to work with us.

I still feel weak.
I was given a sleeping therapy.

I spent a week in a clinic.
But I'm afraid of breathing.

You were wrong in taking
a leave of absence.

You should have returned to work.

I feel burdened
with all the tragedies of the world.

If I cross the street,
black cats scratch their balls.

You're right in being worried.
But don't exaggerate.

- Why not?
- He doesn't look like a nice guy.

You think the guardian angel
isn't following the man following me?

There's a crowd. I'll be arrested
for unauthorized demonstration.

Don't think about it. Can't you find
any distraction? Come with me.

What if I set up a date
with that girl tonight?

She has such an expressive face...
Would you come?

- I don't think so.
- You see?

Concentrate on those pants
full of rear end.

I have a pain here.
It must be my wisdom tooth.

Or a premonition?
Then I'll concentrate.

Luciano, this fabric is like...

- How dare you?
- Excuse me.

See that it wasn't a toothache?
It's proof that you're a clairvoyant!

And that you're a bastard.

Come on. If you order a "calzone"
here, they give you a pizza.

- Yes?
- I've finished my Serenol.

- Can I have it with no prescription?
- Sure, Persichetti.

- I know you.
- Thank you.

- Oh, God!
- Hey, Persichetti!

Have your nerves cured. I went
to your home but you were gone.

So I thought you were surely
at the pharmacy.

- Yes, I'm here. You want something?
- Yes, thanks. I'll take advantage.

A Valium. Double.

Could I have a double Valium
for the chief? Put it on my bill.

- Listen, Persichetti.
- What is it?

I think we found
your guardian angel.

- It's great news.
- Let's not get too enthusiastic.

- 90% that we found him.
- Really? Who is he?

You know this man?

It's a photograph of San Filippo,
the school I attended.

- That's me.
- Do you know him?

The one circled in red.

He's my desk companion.
This marked one...

- Vannichelli, Aristide Vannichelli.
- Yes!

He's a paranoid murderer
with telephone manias. We got him.

He hasn't confessed yet,
but he doesn't have an alibi.

I managed to talk to
one of your teachers.

He said that you and Vannichelli
hated each other.

You put mice in his snacks,
and copied his tests.

You two once got in a fight.

Vannichelli is your guardian angel.
It's just a matter of time,

and the absurd puzzle of
this situation will fit into place.

We were lucky. This time
the madman is an ordinary person.

- If only it were true, Chief!
- It is true.

Don't always be so pessimistic.
Shall we celebrate? Let's celebrate!

- Let's go to dinner together.
- May we have the medicines, please?

- Is my Valium in there?
- Yes.

We already have assets together.
We're almost engaged.

To save my life
I'd even have a boy with you.

Don't exaggerate. I was joking.
Maybe a little girl.

- May I have a coffee, please?
- Right away.

- Tomorrow you're back on duty, huh?
- Yes.

- I heard that you weren't well.
- I had a nervous breakdown.

I hope your desire to work
has come back too.

Are you happy about
coming back to work?

- It's what I needed.
- You always had breakfast here,

always with us.
You could at least have been paid!

They caught the guardian angel.
You've no more excuses.

Let's hope he confesses,
and right away.

If I hadn't gone to school,
nothing would have happened.

I found the ideal companion! She does
not talk and makes love when I want.

Your right hand.
No, the left. He's left-handed.

- Persichetti, on the phone!
- Who is it?

- Mr. Paolo.
- He'll say to stop taking Serenol.

Who is calling you here?

- Who is Paolo?
- His girlfriend's husband.

- She's pregnant? Look at him.
- What's wrong with him?

- Luciano! Oh, God! He fainted.
- Is he having an epileptic attack?

Let's pull him up and call 113.

- No, call an ambulance.
- We'd better haul him in the car.

I have a flat tire,
but if we go slowly... It's downhill.

If you kick me up to the hospital,
I can roll down myself.

- Let's pull him up.
- Come on!

A cognac, please.

- Who was it?
- The guardian angel.

- They didn't catch him?
- Evidently not.

What did he say to you?

He said you're next,
and then it's my turn.

Me? Are you kidding?
This is a heavy joke!

I'm not afraid. I don't believe it!

- What are you doing?
- Excuse me.

I peed in my pants 3 times.
Save me, have pity.

I'll give you surveillance.
Please, go away now.

But... May I stay with you tonight?

Do you think my home is the Grand
Hotel? You're not in danger!

Go away!

- Hello?
- We'll spend the night together...

Go away!

Is it that friend, or another one?

No, Mom. It's another one.
I mean... I'll explain later.

Go away or I'll remove surveillance!
Go on!

- I will obey.
- Mom, what is it now?

- Bring a liter of fresh milk.
- Mom, I don't like milk.

It's good for you.
Drinking milk kills germs.

It's hard to convince them
to drink it, very hard.

I'll ask the guy following us
for a ride. He's going to my house.

- We are very bad off.
- What've I got to do with it?

What about me?
I thought of everything!

When Luisetti told me
the murderer was a school mate,

it seemed logical.
But it wasn't true!

Luisetti made a mistake.
I am afraid. What now?

You get used to fear.
You go home, look under the bed,

check everywhere,
and don't sleep at night.

I don't want to become crazy.
I'll pack a suitcase and leave!

If I had done so right away,
I'd have spared lots of trouble.

Luciano, I'm running away.
Pretend it's no big deal.

- Yes. See you tomorrow.
- Bye.

- Excuse me.
- Please.

- May I have a ride home?
- I'm going the other way.

The incidents that occurred
to Luciano Persichetti

are proof of his capacity
to sense crime events

in advance.

- Who is it?
- It's me. Open!

Something terrible happened.

There was an explosion
in Lino's home, maybe gas.

- How is Lino?
- He's in the hospital.

- I'll get ready in a minute.
- Yes.

It could have been a lot worse.
You barely made it.

- He wanted to kill me.
- How is he?

He underwent a small operation

because of traumatic ablations
of the didymis and epididymis.

He's putting it that way,
but they removed a ball.

- Lino, there's a lady...
- Don't worry about me.

I was fond of it.
I can't have twins anymore.

The guardian angel has gone senile.

I met Luisetti. He seemed happy.

It's true.

This time he made a mistake.
He could be wrong again.

You know what saddens me
the most?

I removed the bolts
from Morassi's former van.

I can't see the face
of who gets on it,

when the four wheels
will detach simultaneously.

This must be another girl.

They want to make sure
that Lino didn't lose his best part.

Hello! Yes, he's here.
Just a minute. Luciano, for you.

- Who is it?
- The police.

-. Are you sure?
- Yes.

- Hello?
- I'm Brigadier Perluso.

Chief Luisetti
wants to see you at the factory.

You must come right away.
He discovered the mystery.

He specifically asks
that you come alone.

Don't speak to anyone about this
or you risk ruining everything.

- What did the chief say?
- He discovered everything,

but said not to tell anyone.
Oh, God, I told you!

- Ok, but I won't tell you where.
- You can. I'm coming with you.

No. This time I'm doing it my way.
You stay here.

You'd leave me now that we're
getting close to solving the mystery?

- He said to go by myself.
- I will accompany you!

- He said it's a secret.
- How will you go without me?

- I'll find out that secret, too.
- Let's have the tv news announce it.

Chief! Chief Luisetti!

Chief! Don't move.

Chief!

Isn't the watchguard here?

The watchguard isn't here.
He must be with Chief Luisetti.

The factory is big
and there are many entrances.

Shall we honk?

I don't like this. We had better go.

Chief!

I even forgot my Serenol.

There's an open door.
Maybe he's in there.

The watchguard?

I'll take a look, but each time

we've always found gyps
behind open doors.

Meanwhile, turn the engine on
in case we have to run.

- Watch out.
- Wait.

Chief!

Chief, it's me, Persichetti.
Chief!

I'm here. Where are you going?

- Susanna, is it you?
- Welcome, Luciano.

I am your guardian angel.

I know you're not pleased
to hear me, but it's the last time.

It's useless to try and escape.
My predictions always come true.

I have news for you. The next
victim is Luciano Persichetti.

As happened with the others,
you won't save him either.

I am tied.

Oh! Good thing you always
do extra time!

Free me. We're in danger!

Not exactly. You are in danger.

- You?
- Me.

But you won't be able to tell anyone,

nor will they ever figure it out.

Imbecile!
See what an imbecile you are?

Now you'll die sliced up.
By whom? By a dreary accountant.

But accountants keep accounts,
follow money going in, going out,

and prepare pay checks.

Gustavelli? A certain number
of promissory notes not postponed,

a certain number of hammer blows
on the head.

Attorney Ubaldi? A certain number of
humiliations in front of employees,

a certain number of poison drops
in the tennis racket handle.

Carla Foscari?

A certain number of remarks on sex,
a certain number of electric shocks.

And then they say that accountants
have no imagination!

Never the same weapon twice!

- What've I got to do with this?
- Very much.

You always participated in the jokes
that idiot Lino played.

- For only a few jokes...
- Jokes?

Putting a firecracker money bill
in my pocket is a joke?

- For a pair of pants...
- No, for what was inside!

Ok, for an ass!

For what was in the pocket,
a winning lottery ticket!

300 million, the first
and last time in my life!

Imbecile!

Let's be reasonable!
How could we know?

Nor could I know that Mr. Ubaldi

had requested that I be fired

because of your idiotic joke
of the pen that squirts upside down.

Thirty years of service,
and I must leave tomorrow.

Then Ubaldi showed that I'm crazy.

He was right.

At first I feared
you would die from fright.

I enjoyed watching you,

observing your terror
as the situation continued.

You could have gotten life in prison,

you could have been electrocuted
by that girl's electric chair.

The intervention of that
parapsychic idiotic was perfect.

She is convinced that
you have certain powers.

Powers!

Think what will happen to you
in a few centimeters?

Imagine the pain you will feel.

That's it. You'll tell
the magistrate the rest.

- Susanna! Where is Susanna?
- I declare you under arrest.

- Stop the saw first!
- Oh, right!

If you hadn't called me,

he would really have killed him.
- Luckily I followed them!

May we continue talking
at the Intensive Care center?

I think it's a reasonable proposal.

Where's Susanna? If you even
scratched her, you're dead!

Where are you shooting?
I can't see jack shit!

Don't shoot! Everyone out!

Susanna!

You are under arrest!

You still don't understand
that I'm innocent. Go! Go!

- Chief!
- Find shelter!

You are my shelter.
You have a bullet-proof vest.

- Paolo!
- Shut up!

Get in!

Send out the alarm
and block the gate!

Chief, forget it.
It won't get to the gate.

It stopped for real!
So you really do have esp.

No, we just lucked out.

Paolo! Paolo, are you hurt?

- Does it hurt?
- No, it's just a scratch.

- How are you?
- Fine. Don't worry.

I don't mean to be finicky, but if
Luciano who hears voices has esp,

then I who materialize a bullet
that nicks my arm

am a genius of parapsychology?
- You were right.

Who is that madman?
A factory employee?

The guardian angel was
the accountant. It's not even fun.

Come. Let's go to my house.
My mother made pasta with broccoli.

You and I have ruined
our reputation, anyway.

Was the illness you had
as a boy... mumps?

Yes, but a light form.