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# It seems today
that all you see #
2
00:00:04,931 --> 00:00:08,217
# Is violence in movies
and sex on TV #
3
00:00:08,301 --> 00:00:11,704
# But where are those
good old-fashioned values #
4
00:00:11,755 --> 00:00:14,674
# On which we used to rely? #
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00:00:14,741 --> 00:00:18,260
# Lucky there's a family guy #
6
00:00:18,345 --> 00:00:21,464
# Lucky there's a man
who positively can do #
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00:00:21,531 --> 00:00:23,065
# All the things that make us #
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00:00:23,150 --> 00:00:24,517
# Laugh and cry #
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# He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! #
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00:00:26,002 --> 00:00:28,502
# Family Guy 10x22 # Viewer Mail 2
Original Air Date on May 20, 2012
11
00:00:28,503 --> 00:00:31,003
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,959
- Hello, I'm Brian Griffin.
- And I'm Stewie Griffin.
13
00:00:34,027 --> 00:00:36,729
A few years ago, we did an
episode called "Viewer Mail"
14
00:00:36,797 --> 00:00:40,063
where you, our fans,
wrote in and suggested ideas
15
00:00:40,098 --> 00:00:40,916
for new episodes.
16
00:00:40,984 --> 00:00:43,753
Well, it's ten years later, but
you're still sending in ideas.
17
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:46,762
Uh, to Rashad in Little Rock,
we wanna let you know
18
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:50,142
we kicked around idea, "Make the
Baby Go Wild" for a while,
19
00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:52,261
couldn't really find
an angle on it.
20
00:00:52,345 --> 00:00:54,530
Here's one from
Lee Mills of Iowa.
21
00:00:54,598 --> 00:00:57,841
Lee writes: "Dear Family Guy,
was your show based on anything?"
22
00:00:57,876 --> 00:00:59,151
That's a great question, Lee.
23
00:00:59,219 --> 00:01:02,706
In fact, Family Guy is based
on an American television series
24
00:01:02,804 --> 00:01:04,156
called The Simpsons.
25
00:01:05,349 --> 00:01:07,109
Actually, Family Guy,
much like The Office,
26
00:01:07,194 --> 00:01:10,055
is based on a British series
called Chap of the Manor.
27
00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:10,646
Let's watch.
28
00:01:18,922 --> 00:01:22,057
We now return to Britain's
most popular game show...
29
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:25,528
Wheel... of... Politeness!
30
00:01:25,595 --> 00:01:27,296
- Do go ahead, then.
- Oh, no, you first.
31
00:01:27,364 --> 00:01:28,994
- Wouldn't dream of it.
- Too kind, really, I insist.
32
00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:30,898
- Wouldn't be proper of me.
- I appreciate your courtesy.
33
00:01:30,970 --> 00:01:32,601
- Likewise.
- Well, we're all out of time.
34
00:01:32,669 --> 00:01:34,103
Join us same time tomorrow
35
00:01:34,171 --> 00:01:36,138
if it's not entirely
inconvenient for you.
36
00:01:36,206 --> 00:01:37,506
If so, of course,
we do understand
37
00:01:37,574 --> 00:01:39,308
and we do apologize in advance.
38
00:01:39,376 --> 00:01:42,044
This has all been an imposition.
I'm so dreadfully sorry.
39
00:01:42,112 --> 00:01:43,309
- Sorry! - Sorry.
- Sorry.
40
00:01:43,344 --> 00:01:44,046
Sorry, everyone!
41
00:01:44,114 --> 00:01:45,748
All right, kids, enough telly.
42
00:01:45,816 --> 00:01:48,284
I hope everyone's peckish
for some boiled lamb shank.
43
00:01:48,351 --> 00:01:49,585
None for me, Lydia.
44
00:01:49,653 --> 00:01:51,594
I'm meeting me mates
down at the pub.
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00:01:51,629 --> 00:01:54,013
Again? But Neville,
you spend all your time
46
00:01:54,048 --> 00:01:56,208
down at the Fox and Pig
and Dog and Wolf and Cat
47
00:01:56,276 --> 00:01:57,686
and Fiddle and
Whistle and Cock.
48
00:01:57,721 --> 00:01:58,727
And that's where
you're wrong.
49
00:01:58,795 --> 00:02:00,863
The Fox and Pig and Dog
and Wolf and Cat
50
00:02:00,947 --> 00:02:02,782
and Fiddle and Whistle and Cock
is for tossers.
51
00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:05,034
We're meetin' at the Dog and Cat
and Bull and Whistle
52
00:02:05,101 --> 00:02:07,036
and Fiddle and Cock
and Pig and Wolf and Carriage
53
00:02:07,103 --> 00:02:08,417
and Fife and Other Wolf!
54
00:02:08,498 --> 00:02:11,090
But I need you to stay and have
a chat with Collingsworth.
55
00:02:11,158 --> 00:02:13,509
I found him with another fag
in his mouth this morning.
56
00:02:13,544 --> 00:02:14,627
Oh, is that right?
57
00:02:14,694 --> 00:02:16,562
So you fancy fags, do you?
58
00:02:16,630 --> 00:02:19,098
Well, here.
Have a whole carton of fags!
59
00:02:19,166 --> 00:02:22,184
I just want a comely lass
to look upon me with favour.
60
00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:23,686
I look on you with favour.
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00:02:23,753 --> 00:02:25,337
I look on all of you
with favour.
62
00:02:25,405 --> 00:02:26,906
Shut up, British Meg.
63
00:02:26,973 --> 00:02:28,007
Look at Lydia.
64
00:02:28,074 --> 00:02:30,576
What a two-bit Wichita whore.
65
00:02:30,644 --> 00:02:32,878
One of these days,
she's gonna wake up killt.
66
00:02:32,946 --> 00:02:34,346
Ah, matricide.
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00:02:34,414 --> 00:02:36,382
Yet another of
your childhood whims.
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00:02:36,449 --> 00:02:38,117
No, it ain't. I'm gonna follow
through with...
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00:02:38,185 --> 00:02:39,418
Wait, why'd you say it
like that?
70
00:02:40,687 --> 00:02:42,388
Cutaway, sir?
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00:02:42,455 --> 00:02:44,490
Yes, that's good then.
72
00:02:44,558 --> 00:02:47,393
Friends, family,
and characters random
73
00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:50,229
To bring you joy
and laughter in tandem
74
00:02:50,297 --> 00:02:53,065
To divert and dazzle
is our intention
75
00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:56,385
So sit back, relax,
and enjoy our invention.
76
00:02:59,505 --> 00:03:01,723
Ah, I love summer.
77
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,468
Good evening, Billingsbury.
I'm Clive Crowley.
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00:03:12,536 --> 00:03:15,004
Coming up: a man with a gun
and two bullets
79
00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:17,172
has taken over the city
of Manchester.
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00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,909
But first, our top story
tonight: Her Majesty, the Queen,
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00:03:19,976 --> 00:03:22,211
will be passing through
our very town tomorrow.
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00:03:22,279 --> 00:03:23,971
With details, we now go live
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00:03:24,014 --> 00:03:26,115
to Indian reporter,
Tricia Dasgupta.
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00:03:26,182 --> 00:03:28,851
Oh, my golly,
there is much commotion.
85
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,519
Thank you, Tricia.
After the interval,
86
00:03:30,587 --> 00:03:33,389
find out which 12 football teams
tied tonight.
87
00:03:33,456 --> 00:03:35,324
The Queen's comin'
to Billingsbury?
88
00:03:35,392 --> 00:03:36,789
That's bloody sweet!
89
00:03:36,893 --> 00:03:39,161
You know, I'm actually a
relation of the royal family.
90
00:03:39,229 --> 00:03:41,030
You most certainly are not.
91
00:03:41,097 --> 00:03:42,831
Where would you
get that idea?
92
00:03:42,899 --> 00:03:44,833
Me mum used to claim
she was a Windsor.
93
00:03:44,901 --> 00:03:47,736
And I always heard my Nana talk
about how she took a duke.
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00:03:47,804 --> 00:03:49,338
Must've been a difficult
marriage, too,
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00:03:49,406 --> 00:03:51,106
'cause every afternoon
she'd be belly-achin'
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00:03:51,174 --> 00:03:52,675
about her bloody duke.
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00:03:52,742 --> 00:03:54,810
I think you just had
a gross grandmother.
98
00:03:54,878 --> 00:03:57,079
No, I'm quite sure of it.
And to prove it,
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00:03:57,147 --> 00:03:59,114
I'm gonna nick
one of the Queen's hairs
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00:03:59,182 --> 00:04:00,733
during her visit tomorrow.
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00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,686
And when the DNA proves a match,
you'll see I'm royalty.
102
00:04:03,753 --> 00:04:05,154
The Queen, eh?
103
00:04:05,221 --> 00:04:07,356
I'd like to mash my banger
in her blood pudding.
104
00:04:07,424 --> 00:04:08,457
Googity. Googity. Glop.
105
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:10,676
- Hello, lads.
- Oh, hello, Seamus.
106
00:04:10,744 --> 00:04:13,112
Right fine performance
at the cricket match today.
107
00:04:13,179 --> 00:04:16,181
Aye. I was spirited to have you
down there watching me.
108
00:04:16,249 --> 00:04:17,741
Well, it's a brilliant day
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00:04:17,818 --> 00:04:19,318
for a long and
confusing game of cricket.
110
00:04:19,386 --> 00:04:21,353
The field is teeming
with men in helmets
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00:04:21,421 --> 00:04:23,022
who don't seem like
they need helmets,
112
00:04:23,089 --> 00:04:24,590
and men not in helmets
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00:04:24,658 --> 00:04:26,517
who seem like they probably
should be wearing helmets.
114
00:04:26,752 --> 00:04:29,028
Oh, he's batted it
clear out of the stadium.
115
00:04:29,095 --> 00:04:33,056
Is that good? We don't know,
but it's what we do!
116
00:04:33,191 --> 00:04:34,465
Y-Yay!
117
00:04:34,509 --> 00:04:35,167
- Boo!
- Boo!
118
00:04:35,235 --> 00:04:36,068
Boo!
119
00:04:39,105 --> 00:04:42,368
Oh my goodness, the Queen is
going to be here presently.
120
00:04:42,403 --> 00:04:43,826
This is oh-so-exciting!
121
00:04:43,893 --> 00:04:46,061
My favorite part
before the Queen arrives
122
00:04:46,129 --> 00:04:48,831
is yelling "wanker"
at Prince Charles as he passes.
123
00:04:48,915 --> 00:04:50,249
- Wanker!
- Wanker!
124
00:04:50,316 --> 00:04:51,984
I know, I know.
125
00:04:52,035 --> 00:04:53,285
- Wanker!
- Wanker!
126
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:55,153
Yes, I know. Yes.
127
00:04:55,205 --> 00:04:56,672
- Wanker!
- You're a wanker!
128
00:04:56,756 --> 00:04:58,590
- Wanker!
- Right, quite right.
129
00:04:58,658 --> 00:05:00,209
Spot on. He's got it.
130
00:05:00,276 --> 00:05:02,962
I say, a lot of people have
turned out to see the Queen.
131
00:05:03,029 --> 00:05:04,330
Should make for a grand day.
132
00:05:05,412 --> 00:05:06,628
Hey, watch it there!
133
00:05:15,542 --> 00:05:17,393
- Good show, old chap.
- Well played.
134
00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:18,527
Here she comes!
135
00:05:22,298 --> 00:05:24,016
Very well.
Time for action.
136
00:05:24,084 --> 00:05:27,219
A lock of the Queen's hair
shall soon be mine.
137
00:05:27,716 --> 00:05:29,038
Here she comes.
Have at it then.
138
00:05:29,105 --> 00:05:32,091
Crikey! This is a haircut
fit for a queen!
139
00:05:35,045 --> 00:05:36,378
Oh, bloody hell!
140
00:05:36,446 --> 00:05:38,447
All right, time for Plan B.
Let's go!
141
00:05:46,272 --> 00:05:47,690
I'm not going any lower.
142
00:05:47,757 --> 00:05:49,641
Well, Father,
you gave it a good go.
143
00:05:49,709 --> 00:05:51,706
Oh, we're not done yet.
Come on!
144
00:05:54,890 --> 00:05:57,433
Queen! Queen! Give me
some of your hair!
145
00:05:57,517 --> 00:05:59,518
Come on, Queen!
Don't be a bitch!
146
00:05:59,569 --> 00:06:01,336
Get us away
from that lunatic!
147
00:06:11,731 --> 00:06:13,398
She's heading into that tunnel!
148
00:06:17,737 --> 00:06:20,539
Dear God! The Queen's dead!
149
00:06:23,593 --> 00:06:25,744
All right, Collingsworth,
I got a hair.
150
00:06:25,795 --> 00:06:29,264
Now, just walk away casual-like
and we're in the clear.
151
00:06:29,349 --> 00:06:30,883
Oh, no!
Here come the coppers!
152
00:06:43,179 --> 00:06:44,446
Bugger.
153
00:06:47,050 --> 00:06:48,317
Bugger.
154
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:51,520
Bugger.
155
00:06:54,791 --> 00:06:56,925
Well, it turns out
I'm not royalty.
156
00:06:56,993 --> 00:06:58,660
Shame about the Queen, though.
157
00:06:58,728 --> 00:07:02,046
Yeah, I reckon she's with
Jesus Christ in heaven now.
158
00:07:02,632 --> 00:07:05,534
Well, I'm just happy our
family is safe and sound
159
00:07:05,569 --> 00:07:07,561
back in our cozy row house.
160
00:07:07,596 --> 00:07:08,387
Row house.
161
00:07:16,273 --> 00:07:17,173
We now return
162
00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:19,425
to The Comedy Central Roast
of Robin Williams.
163
00:07:19,493 --> 00:07:21,812
Aw, man, Robin Williams
is my favorite!
164
00:07:21,890 --> 00:07:23,245
He must be getting recognized
165
00:07:23,313 --> 00:07:24,947
for all his contributions
to show business.
166
00:07:25,015 --> 00:07:26,549
I don't think
that's what a roast is.
167
00:07:26,616 --> 00:07:29,552
Robin, as a comic, it's an honor
to be up here roasting you.
168
00:07:29,619 --> 00:07:32,087
As a moviegoer, I want
to punch you in the face.
169
00:07:33,490 --> 00:07:35,357
Oh, that's funny.
Advocate violence.
170
00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:36,725
And let's face it, Mork.
171
00:07:36,793 --> 00:07:38,794
You're getting Nanu-Na-old!
172
00:07:40,831 --> 00:07:42,464
Stop it! You stop it!
173
00:07:42,532 --> 00:07:46,101
Robin Williams has a manic gift
that gladdens a sad world
174
00:07:46,169 --> 00:07:50,039
and all he asks in return
is our unceasing attention!
175
00:07:50,106 --> 00:07:51,940
How can you allow this?!
176
00:07:51,992 --> 00:07:54,960
Robin Williams has given us
nothing but joy!
177
00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:57,413
I wish everyone
was Robin Williams!
178
00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:03,785
Boy, that looks enticing.
179
00:08:06,130 --> 00:08:08,641
Yeah, this is nice.
180
00:08:13,346 --> 00:08:15,514
Oh, my God.
What happened?
181
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:18,534
You were in a coma, and then I
kissed you, and you woke up.
182
00:08:18,602 --> 00:08:20,069
Like two days later.
183
00:08:20,136 --> 00:08:22,104
Anyway, all your
numbers are normal.
184
00:08:22,155 --> 00:08:23,606
- What numbers?
- No idea.
185
00:08:23,673 --> 00:08:26,575
Well, congratulations.
You're gonna be just fine.
186
00:08:28,378 --> 00:08:29,628
Oh, my God!
187
00:08:29,696 --> 00:08:31,080
You're...
You're Robin Williams!
188
00:08:31,147 --> 00:08:33,716
Ding! Thank you for playing
"That's Obvious!"
189
00:08:33,783 --> 00:08:35,084
Tell him what he's won, Cletus!
190
00:08:35,151 --> 00:08:36,285
- Money!
Ho-ho! Money.
191
00:08:36,353 --> 00:08:37,935
Or as the Republicans
call it,
192
00:08:37,970 --> 00:08:38,487
Mine!
193
00:08:39,856 --> 00:08:41,490
I hope this is covered
by your HMO.
194
00:08:41,558 --> 00:08:43,559
I was covered once by
an HMO in San Francisco.
195
00:08:43,627 --> 00:08:45,828
I Haight my Ashbury
in these jeans!
196
00:08:45,896 --> 00:08:47,496
Ding-ding, Rice-A-Roni!
197
00:08:47,564 --> 00:08:50,599
Ah! You got all those
references in there!
198
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:53,002
Of course now everyone can afford
health care because of Obama.
199
00:08:53,069 --> 00:08:54,603
Yeah, you want a Band-Aid?
200
00:08:54,671 --> 00:08:57,339
No problem, turkey.
Come on down to Obama-Mart!
201
00:08:57,407 --> 00:08:59,808
The price is free,
but yo ass better vote for me.
202
00:08:59,876 --> 00:09:01,610
Ha! Political with a twist.
203
00:09:01,678 --> 00:09:03,178
It's funny from the news!
204
00:09:03,229 --> 00:09:05,230
What's going on in here?
You gotta check this out!
205
00:09:05,315 --> 00:09:06,532
It's Robin Williams!
206
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,284
Ho-ho! A nurse
is a nurse, of curse.
207
00:09:08,351 --> 00:09:10,519
Up yours, Wilbur.
208
00:09:10,570 --> 00:09:11,334
Oh, my God!
209
00:09:11,572 --> 00:09:14,173
Everyone I touch
turns into Robin Williams!
210
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,709
Yess! Peter Sweet Cheeks
Griffin-uh!
211
00:09:16,776 --> 00:09:19,428
You have been given
the power from god-uh!
212
00:09:19,496 --> 00:09:20,429
- Ho-ho! - Ho-ho!
- Ho-ho!
213
00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:25,784
I will be so responsible with this.
214
00:09:26,152 --> 00:09:27,252
Thanks, guys!
215
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:27,973
- Ho-ho!
- Bye!
216
00:09:28,055 --> 00:09:30,111
- See you, Peter!
- Y'all come back now, y'hear?
217
00:09:30,257 --> 00:09:31,933
It's Patch Adams, Robin.
218
00:09:32,008 --> 00:09:34,693
He cures stuff the fun way,
not the medicine way.
219
00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:40,566
So, somehow the lightning
gave your dad
220
00:09:40,634 --> 00:09:43,402
the power to turn anyone
I touch into Robin Williams.
221
00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:46,238
Peter, did Dr. Hartman say
how long this was gonna last?
222
00:09:46,306 --> 00:09:47,673
There is no more
Dr. Hartman, Lois.
223
00:09:47,741 --> 00:09:49,475
He's Robin Williams now.
224
00:09:49,542 --> 00:09:50,876
Bet you kids never thought
your dad
225
00:09:50,944 --> 00:09:53,061
would have superpowers, huh?
226
00:09:53,113 --> 00:09:55,848
- Peter!
- Ho-ho! You pat my back, I pat yours,
227
00:09:55,915 --> 00:09:57,449
and Pat Robertson
pats Mr. Happy.
228
00:09:57,517 --> 00:09:59,952
Yayuss! Praise
Jesus with your Visa card!
229
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:01,787
Max it out
on the Lord, people!
230
00:10:01,855 --> 00:10:02,855
Oh, boy!
231
00:10:02,923 --> 00:10:05,391
And that's the second
Southern preacher one.
232
00:10:05,458 --> 00:10:07,636
Look, Brian! Meg is
one of the sensitive,
233
00:10:07,671 --> 00:10:09,437
bearded Robin Williams
characters.
234
00:10:09,472 --> 00:10:10,062
Ha!
235
00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:11,697
- You think that's funny, chief?
- Well, I...
236
00:10:11,765 --> 00:10:13,165
My wife is dead.
237
00:10:13,233 --> 00:10:15,267
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
238
00:10:15,335 --> 00:10:17,136
- She's dead, chief.
- Ho-ho! Dead.
239
00:10:17,203 --> 00:10:20,105
The Grateful Dead. Please
do not take the brown acid.
240
00:10:20,173 --> 00:10:21,924
It will turn you
into a Martian.
241
00:10:21,992 --> 00:10:24,658
Take me to your wiener.
Ho-ho!
242
00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:26,395
We're *****
243
00:10:26,463 --> 00:10:29,098
("Rockin' Robin"
by Bobby Day playing)
244
00:10:31,701 --> 00:10:33,652
# #
245
00:10:37,557 --> 00:10:40,275
# He rocks in the treetop
all a day long #
246
00:10:40,326 --> 00:10:42,761
# Hoppin' and a-boppin'
and a-singin' the song #
247
00:10:42,829 --> 00:10:45,781
# All the little birds
on Jaybird Street #
248
00:10:45,849 --> 00:10:48,300
# Love to hear the robin
goin' tweet-tweet-tweet #
249
00:10:48,368 --> 00:10:53,128
# Rockin' robin,
tweet-tweet-tweet... #
250
00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:55,490
I don't know, Peter.
This all seems kind of creepy.
251
00:10:55,558 --> 00:10:57,242
What do you mean?
This is great!
252
00:10:57,310 --> 00:10:59,077
Everyone's hilarious now!
253
00:10:59,145 --> 00:11:00,418
What do you think, Quagmire?
254
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,016
What? I can't hear a thing
over this noise.
255
00:11:03,092 --> 00:11:03,565
What?!
256
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,120
This is unbearable!
257
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,803
I think I got just the thing
to cheer you up, Joe.
258
00:11:08,562 --> 00:11:11,006
I know I said I was a leg man,
but this is ridiculous. Ho!
259
00:11:11,074 --> 00:11:12,997
I feel like a testicle
on steroids.
260
00:11:13,043 --> 00:11:15,143
Honey, I shrunk my nuts! Ho!
- Ha!
261
00:11:15,211 --> 00:11:16,945
Ho-ho! I'm a
San Francisco pirate.
262
00:11:17,013 --> 00:11:19,481
I Haight my Ashbury
in these jeans!
263
00:11:19,549 --> 00:11:21,566
A lot of the material
is repeated.
264
00:11:24,521 --> 00:11:26,255
Mmm, Lois,
265
00:11:26,323 --> 00:11:29,591
your torso is
so broad and solid.
266
00:11:32,762 --> 00:11:33,846
Ah! You're not Lois!
267
00:11:33,913 --> 00:11:36,181
I can hear you!
I'm not deaf!
268
00:11:36,249 --> 00:11:38,934
I don't believe that's
real sign language!
269
00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:40,753
Brian, this is
a disaster!
270
00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:42,404
I turned everyone
into Robin Williams!
271
00:11:42,572 --> 00:11:43,922
You gotta help me!
272
00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:45,090
Yo-yo-yo! Peter G.
273
00:11:45,175 --> 00:11:46,565
What's happening,
dawg?
274
00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:50,986
Oh, Sideways Hat Robin.
Dear God, no!
275
00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:55,934
# Gonna have some hot tea,
baby, this morning! #
276
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,854
- Run, Forrest, run!
- Run, Forrest, run!
277
00:11:58,921 --> 00:12:00,472
All right, Rupert,
all we have to do
278
00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:01,774
is act like Robin Williams,
279
00:12:01,858 --> 00:12:03,487
and he'll think
we've already changed.
280
00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:05,177
Ho-ho! Scattered
stream of references!
281
00:12:05,245 --> 00:12:07,413
Lots of energy! One good one
for every ten! Ho-ho!
282
00:12:11,951 --> 00:12:13,560
Damn these hands!
283
00:12:15,284 --> 00:12:16,138
Mwah!
284
00:12:16,206 --> 00:12:18,440
Vell, I haven't been
to temple in a while!
285
00:12:18,491 --> 00:12:19,642
Ah!
286
00:12:20,004 --> 00:12:21,877
Ladies and gentleman,
The Doors!
287
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:26,298
- Ho-ho! Jogging!
Running on empty! - Ho-ho!
288
00:12:26,383 --> 00:12:28,050
Run, Forrest, run!
289
00:12:28,117 --> 00:12:30,503
- Ho-ho! - Ho-ho!
- Ho-ho!
290
00:12:31,801 --> 00:12:32,871
Ho-ho! I'm a Mercedes!
291
00:12:32,939 --> 00:12:34,173
Und vere are your papers?
292
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,241
Are you from
East or Vest Berlin?
293
00:12:36,309 --> 00:12:38,977
Vell, I'm from Vest Berlin, pilgrim.
294
00:12:41,781 --> 00:12:43,065
Shut up!
295
00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:49,971
- Ho-ho! - Ho-ho!
- Ho-ho! - Ho-ho!
296
00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:52,291
Stop riffing!
297
00:12:55,495 --> 00:12:58,529
- Jump, Forest, jump!
- Must be a leap year, ho-ho!
298
00:13:04,804 --> 00:13:06,755
Time to lose
some weight, dearie?
299
00:13:06,823 --> 00:13:09,858
No... more... comedy.
300
00:13:15,498 --> 00:13:17,132
Guys, will you please
settle down?
301
00:13:17,183 --> 00:13:18,667
Can we, can we settle down,
please?
302
00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:19,985
Every... everyone.
303
00:13:20,053 --> 00:13:21,386
Everyone, can I have
your attention?
304
00:13:21,454 --> 00:13:22,788
Oh, Captains! My Captains!
305
00:13:24,572 --> 00:13:25,841
I have an announcement to make:
306
00:13:25,909 --> 00:13:27,342
You are all free!
307
00:13:27,410 --> 00:13:29,711
You have been fired
from the school.
308
00:13:29,779 --> 00:13:33,165
Vietnam is over.
The hospital is closing.
309
00:13:33,233 --> 00:13:35,200
Will Hunting is all better.
310
00:13:35,268 --> 00:13:36,869
- It's not your fault.
- It's not your fault.
311
00:13:36,936 --> 00:13:39,004
Shut up. Seriously, shut up.
312
00:13:39,072 --> 00:13:40,506
Please, you are done here.
313
00:13:40,573 --> 00:13:43,809
Go and spread your comedy
to all corners of this country.
314
00:13:46,712 --> 00:13:48,313
Wait, not you five.
315
00:13:48,381 --> 00:13:51,517
I'm gonna keep you for...
an experiment.
316
00:13:53,253 --> 00:13:54,301
Ho-ho! Eggs!
317
00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:55,791
Who came first, the chicken
or the porn star?
318
00:13:55,873 --> 00:13:57,059
Ho-ho!
The Porn Identity!
319
00:13:57,134 --> 00:13:58,753
Who am I? Oh, yeah!
The pizza man!
320
00:13:58,835 --> 00:14:01,043
- Baka-chikka-bwow-bwow!
- Ho-ho! Ho-ho!
321
00:14:01,111 --> 00:14:02,311
Peter, can you pass
the coffee?
322
00:14:02,378 --> 00:14:05,059
Sure, Brian the dog.
323
00:14:05,851 --> 00:14:08,640
Anything for my family.
324
00:14:10,119 --> 00:14:13,179
Coffee now.
Here we go, here we go.
325
00:14:16,295 --> 00:14:18,851
I guess Disney wouldn't let us
do the Aladdin one.
326
00:14:27,415 --> 00:14:30,450
Stewie, rise and shine.
327
00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:34,042
Good morning, Stewie.
328
00:14:34,222 --> 00:14:35,723
**** you.
329
00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:37,908
You ready for the day, sweetie?
330
00:14:37,976 --> 00:14:40,277
Oh, someone needs
a diaper change.
331
00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:47,284
Are you proud
of yourself?
332
00:14:47,335 --> 00:14:48,636
That this
is what you do?
333
00:14:48,703 --> 00:14:51,405
Is this a dime?
Did you swallow a dime?
334
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,274
Yeah, wipe it off
and put it back in your purse,
335
00:14:53,341 --> 00:14:54,642
you white trash hen.
336
00:14:54,709 --> 00:14:55,876
There we go.
337
00:14:55,944 --> 00:14:58,462
Who's my clean little boy?
338
00:15:01,966 --> 00:15:03,709
Ugh! Your roots
are ridiculous.
339
00:15:03,744 --> 00:15:04,585
I'm gonna grab
your hair 'cause
340
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:05,719
I like grabbing stuff.
341
00:15:05,787 --> 00:15:08,155
Okay. Okay, Stewie, let go.
342
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,341
Let, let go, Stewie.
Let go of Mommy's hair.
343
00:15:10,408 --> 00:15:12,543
When I grow up, I'm
never gonna call you.
344
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:15,321
I'm gonna be busy
with my job and my family.
345
00:15:15,356 --> 00:15:16,547
You'll be nothing.
346
00:15:21,986 --> 00:15:24,488
Stewie, I want you
to have my ring.
347
00:15:24,539 --> 00:15:26,307
It's one of my most
important possessions,
348
00:15:26,374 --> 00:15:28,175
and I want you to have it.
349
00:15:28,243 --> 00:15:30,811
Okay, red flag.
Red flag, everybody!
350
00:15:34,966 --> 00:15:36,967
Hey, Stewie,
wanna go down the slide?
351
00:15:37,518 --> 00:15:38,619
Um...
352
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:39,820
What's the matter?
353
00:15:39,888 --> 00:15:41,689
Ya never been down
the slide before?
354
00:15:41,756 --> 00:15:43,624
Yeah, like,
like a thousand times.
355
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,860
Just done it so much
I'm bored with it, that's all.
356
00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:51,332
All right, I guess
we're doing this.
357
00:15:54,869 --> 00:15:55,869
Whoa.
358
00:15:55,937 --> 00:15:57,621
Come on down,
Stewie!
359
00:16:00,934 --> 00:16:03,094
This is crazy. This is crazy.
This is crazy.
360
00:16:03,161 --> 00:16:07,331
All right, you can do this,
Stewie. Here we go.
361
00:16:10,352 --> 00:16:11,318
Are you okay?
362
00:16:11,386 --> 00:16:12,486
Yeah, that wasn't so bad.
363
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:13,702
You might wanna move.
364
00:16:13,789 --> 00:16:16,423
That farting Polish kid
is coming down the slide.
365
00:16:18,126 --> 00:16:19,693
Ah, Pavel!
366
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,200
Hey, kid, come here.
I wanna see
367
00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:40,364
if I can still smell
your mom's boobs on your mouth.
368
00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:42,583
Why don't you go hump
a pile of garbage?
369
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:49,123
All right, here we go.
Classic.
370
00:16:50,256 --> 00:16:51,011
Uh-oh.
371
00:16:55,913 --> 00:16:57,297
Oh, God! Brian! Brian!
372
00:17:00,422 --> 00:17:01,885
Guess I'm going for a ride.
373
00:17:10,437 --> 00:17:11,095
Why are we stopping?
374
00:17:12,313 --> 00:17:13,596
Oh, come on.
375
00:17:16,373 --> 00:17:18,589
For God's sake, Brian.
It's just a squirrel.
376
00:17:19,654 --> 00:17:20,788
Yeah!
377
00:17:20,872 --> 00:17:21,905
Oh, God!
378
00:17:27,729 --> 00:17:29,630
He can't hurt you anymore.
379
00:17:34,169 --> 00:17:35,736
Hey there, little fella.
380
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,338
We sure got a lovely day for it,
don't we?
381
00:17:38,406 --> 00:17:40,207
Stay away from
my brother's butt.
382
00:17:42,276 --> 00:17:45,095
Okay, Stewie, let's get
that little face washed off.
383
00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:47,331
Then you can play
with your bath toys, huh?
384
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,383
No, I hate getting
my face washed!
385
00:17:49,451 --> 00:17:51,185
Oh, look!
It's just Mr. Frog!
386
00:17:51,252 --> 00:17:53,103
Hello, Mr. Frog...
387
00:17:55,077 --> 00:17:57,321
My God, how the hell
do I keep falling for that?
388
00:17:57,356 --> 00:17:58,215
Now you play with your toys
389
00:17:58,293 --> 00:18:00,913
and I'll go get yo
a nice, fluffy towel.
390
00:18:01,635 --> 00:18:04,815
Stewart Griffin, explorer,
adventurer,
391
00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:07,334
skin-diving
international playboy.
392
00:18:13,475 --> 00:18:15,340
I'm swimming at night
'cause I'm a slut
393
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:17,573
and now I'm paying
the price for it.
394
00:18:20,848 --> 00:18:22,299
Hey, Stewie!
395
00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:24,835
Wow, looks like you got
some cool bath toys in there.
396
00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:26,091
Is it okay if I join ya?
397
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:26,930
No!
398
00:18:30,575 --> 00:18:32,843
Hey, is that
my froggie butt cloth?
399
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:38,793
Okay, Stewie, bedtime's
in ten minutes.
400
00:18:38,828 --> 00:18:40,066
I'll be right back.
401
00:18:41,085 --> 00:18:42,820
Hmm. I think I have time
for a quickie.
402
00:18:52,663 --> 00:18:54,047
Excuse me, Mr. Cobain.
403
00:18:54,115 --> 00:18:55,215
Look, I know
you're depressed.
404
00:18:55,283 --> 00:18:57,484
Made some bad choices
with women,
405
00:18:57,552 --> 00:18:58,769
but there's another way.
406
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:01,355
Haagen-Dazs,
lots of Haagen-Dazs.
407
00:19:06,127 --> 00:19:07,311
Well, let's see if it worked.
408
00:19:07,378 --> 00:19:08,325
Here we go.
409
00:19:08,513 --> 00:19:11,565
Ha! You're still alive,
you fat ****.
410
00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:13,365
Okay, Stewie, time for bed.
411
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,903
You want Mommy to read you
a night-night story?
412
00:19:15,970 --> 00:19:17,755
Oh, how 'bout this one?
413
00:19:17,839 --> 00:19:20,265
"Good Night, Town
from Footloose"?
414
00:19:28,199 --> 00:19:29,484
Who is this book for?
415
00:19:37,775 --> 00:19:40,177
Hey, Lois.
I'm home from the Clam.
416
00:19:40,244 --> 00:19:42,595
You know what that means.
417
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,898
You spent the last ten minutes
parked in front of the house
418
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:46,329
crying in your car?
419
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:49,052
Not now, Peter. I'm doing
story time with Stewie.
420
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,220
Yeah, scram, Drinky.
421
00:19:50,288 --> 00:19:51,688
I got a story.
422
00:19:51,756 --> 00:19:54,191
It's about the little penis
that could.
423
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:56,293
It thinks it can, it thinks...
424
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,061
In fact, it's pretty sure
it can.
425
00:19:58,129 --> 00:19:59,978
It-It, it's gonna.
426
00:20:00,013 --> 00:20:01,064
Hey, am I gonna have
to handle this?
427
00:20:01,115 --> 00:20:02,111
Do you want me
to handle this?
428
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:03,584
Peter, just go wait
in the bedroom.
429
00:20:03,651 --> 00:20:04,579
I'll be right there.
430
00:20:04,669 --> 00:20:08,258
Fine, but if I gotta pee first,
this night's gonna be ruined.
431
00:20:09,106 --> 00:20:10,324
Ruined.
432
00:20:13,978 --> 00:20:16,429
Good night, sweetie.
Mommy loves you.
433
00:20:24,622 --> 00:20:26,290
Huh?
434
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,214
It's big, isn't it?
435
00:20:34,282 --> 00:20:36,250
Yes, Peter.
It's very big.
436
00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:37,895
Yeah, it's big.
437
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,416
Oh, God, yes!
438
00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:43,440
Ah, yes...
439
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:46,510
Ah, yeah.
440
00:20:49,864 --> 00:20:54,809
Oh, you're gonna use that thing,
good. I love you so much.
441
00:20:55,944 --> 00:20:59,776
== sync, corrected by elderman ==32383
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