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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,960
Whoo! Look out, world,
Hurricane Holly has arrived.
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:04,960
Yes!
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Fit. Fit. Fit.
4
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,480
SHE GIGGLES
5
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,960
Stop flirting with me.
6
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,800
Jesus!
7
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,960
DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS
8
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,960
Any women or children in here?
As, apparently I have to ask now!
9
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,960
Yeah, ju... just me, Holly,
as myself.
10
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,960
Oh, right-oh.
11
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,000
A bit nervous before the tour,
are you?
12
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,960
It's not a tour, Clifford.
13
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,960
Every time someone calls it that,
Jack has another nervy b.
14
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,960
Well, you're bundling this rabble
into vehicles
15
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,960
and taking them off wrestling
for a week,
16
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,960
call it what you want, it's a tour.
17
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,960
It's also where a wrestler risks
falling prey to all manner of vices.
18
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:49,960
Cheap booze, dubious drugs,
meaningless sexual encounters...
19
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,640
Ooh, loosen my leotard,
it's going to be incredible.
20
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,960
Cliff, I can't hear ya.
21
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:57,960
SPANDEX TWANG
22
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:58,960
Ooh!
23
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,960
Did that come from you?
24
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,960
Yep, uh, just doing a woman's thing.
25
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,480
Oh, right-oh.
26
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:05,960
Never mind.
27
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:08,960
I'm not worried about
whether I can control four wrestlers
28
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,960
and two roadies over a week's guest
spot at Pollards holiday camp.
29
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,160
That's another thing.
30
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,960
What about this guest wrestler
of yours, the Masked Hurricane?
31
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:22,960
She's a total pro. Don't worry.
She is the boss.
32
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,960
As long as you're sure.
33
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,960
HE FARTS,
PLOP
34
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,960
Excuse me. Doing a men's thing.
35
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,800
Ugh!
36
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,960
Hey, Ben, what are you up to today?
37
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:39,960
Uh, pretty much nothing...
38
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:43,960
except going on tour! Yeah!
39
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,960
Queen Berthalonicus,
what are you doing?
40
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,960
Um, going on tour, mate!
41
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,480
Yeah!
42
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:51,960
Woodhouse?
43
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,960
Shatizzity tour!
44
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,960
Yeah!
Come on, baby!
45
00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:58,960
Jack Hammer, what are you doing?
46
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,960
Ready to undo that top button
and finally pick up some vices?
47
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:07,960
Well, I'd say I-I have a vice
and it's called Nordic Walking.
48
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,960
So I am going to finally update
the satnav firmware, uh,
49
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,000
reschedule Woodhouse's training
50
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,960
and double check that
I've locked the warehouse...
51
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,960
Then, well, yes,
I too am going off site,
52
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,960
what people have chosen to call
a tour.
53
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,960
CHEERING
54
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,960
Hey, listen up! We all know
there's fun to be had on tour.
55
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,960
But what you young fools
don't understand...
56
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,960
..is that you are not going
ruddy mental enough!
57
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,960
CHEERING
58
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:42,960
THEY SHOUT AND CHANT
59
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,960
Road trip!
60
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,960
Welcome to Pollards,
I'm head entertainer.
61
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,960
This poem's a greeting
and legal disclaimer.
62
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,960
We're not Butlin's or Pontins
There is no implied similarity
63
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:15,960
And it's been two proud years
since our last onsite fatality.
64
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,960
A wonderful holiday camp
you did choose
65
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,960
My great-great-grandfather
was Peter Pollard
66
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,960
But we do not share his views.
67
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,960
CLUCKING
68
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:27,960
Battery Ken there.
69
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,960
CLUCKING
70
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,960
Fun little chicken.
71
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,960
THEY WHOOP
72
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,960
Technically an off-site booking.
73
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,800
I'll show you around
after your show,
74
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,960
which starts in 20 minutes,
by the way.
75
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,960
CHEERING
76
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,960
Just look at that crowd. Go, go!
77
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,960
I know I could carry this show
on my own, but aren't we one short?
78
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,960
Yeah, where's the Masked Hurricane?
Hols?
79
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,960
I told ya, the Hurricane's
a do-it-on-the-night kind of gal.
80
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,640
No planning backstage beforehand.
Never breaks character.
81
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,960
Berthalonicus!
82
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,480
BOOING
83
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,960
Aah! Old school, just like
Tommy Bubbins the Mystic Monk...
84
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,160
he never said a word to anybody.
85
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,480
Which is probably how
he managed to get away with
86
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,960
keeping six separate families.
87
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,960
AUDIENCE CHEERING
88
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,960
Sweet secret identity, Hol.
89
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:23,960
Shush!
90
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,960
Look, if they find out
Cliff will find out,
91
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,960
and if Cliff finds out
he'll tell Mum,
92
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:28,960
and if Mum finds out
I'll be D-E-A...
93
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,640
You can say you're deaf.
94
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,960
Hard of hearing, but that wasn't...
95
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,960
The point is
we're the only ones who know.
96
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,960
Got it, so you're saying
we need a cool name.
97
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,960
What about
the three discreet people?
98
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,960
Or the triangle of trust?
99
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:42,960
Way better.
100
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,960
That...
That says "vagina" in sign language.
101
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,640
Look, as far as the others know,
102
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,960
the Hurricane is a ringer
that I found on Facebook
103
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,640
after she bought a costume
from Bertha.
104
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,960
Three costumes, not actually
inexpensive. Three costumes.
105
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:59,960
Now, let's get this tour started.
106
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,960
CHEERING
107
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:07,960
And their opponent,
you've never seen her before,
108
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,960
and you're not the only ones.
109
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,960
Making her debut...
110
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,960
# I like the way you move... #
111
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,960
..the Masked Hurricane.
# The way you move #
112
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,960
# I like the way you move
113
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,960
# I like the way you move... #
114
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,960
One, two...
115
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,960
# I like the way you move
116
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,960
# I like the way you move. #
117
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:18,160
One, two, three!
118
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,000
CHEERING
119
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:27,960
Give it up for Boss Pro Wrestling!
120
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:33,800
And Pollards announcement,
for guests in the silver campsite,
121
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,960
the warm water in the showers
has been turned on.
122
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:47,000
Oh, my God, that was amazing.
People cheered, they threw stuff.
123
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,960
Glad you enjoyed watching me.
124
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,960
Hol, should you be that sweaty
from just coming from the bog, like?
125
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,800
She's got a woman's thing.
Yeah.
126
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,960
PHONE BUZZES
127
00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:01,640
I can't talk now, Mum, we just did
our first paying show and killed it.
128
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:06,960
Well done.
129
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,160
And due to criticism that the course
was insufficiently crazy,
130
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,960
we had to rename it Odd Golf.
131
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,960
It's kind of a shame
I'm destined to be a pro wrestler,
132
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,960
cos imagine
working in this palace of dreams.
133
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,960
Oh, well,
we are severely understaffed,
134
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:32,000
so if you fancy an unpaid trial
as a Pollards brown coat...
135
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,960
Sha'bingo.
136
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,960
Oh, almost forgot. Acts benefit
from a bunch of Pollards perks.
137
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,960
All that you can eat
24/7 buffet over here.
138
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:42,480
Pan fried, deep fried or both!
Thank you, Lord Jesus.
139
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,960
Unlimited house cocktails...
Unlimited what now?
140
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,960
And I've got some arcade tokens.
141
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,160
Though I doubt any of you
will be lucky enough
142
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,960
to win the legendary Pollards pot.
The Pina Pollarda, what's in this?
143
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,640
Oh, it's a secret.
144
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,800
In that we don't actually know,
145
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,960
there's just a load of unmarked tins
in the basement.
146
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:03,960
Mike, uh, wondered if I could
just grab ya for a minute.
147
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,960
Oh, you can grab me any time.
148
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:06,960
There's no such thing as luck.
149
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:12,960
Mm-mm, only statistics. Money pot,
you've met your match, bad luck.
150
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:18,960
I've wrestled here before.
Easter... '95.
151
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,960
And there was a very obliging
canteen lady who told me
152
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,960
the secret ingredient.
What the hell was it?
153
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,960
Great news,
Mike's tripled the booking!
154
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,960
Ooh, um, Holly if I could just, uh,
raise a verbal flag.
155
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,960
Na-ah.
156
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,960
Celebrate, we're on tour.
157
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,960
What, three weeks?
Won't that clash with Slamageddon?
158
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,320
No, tripled the shows per day.
159
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,960
Yeah, we can remove
the asbestos in the roof,
160
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,960
walls and floor another time.
161
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,960
Afternoon, evening, night.
Isn't that great?
162
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,000
Two more shows today?
163
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,960
Hols, you signed off on that?
164
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,640
It's amazing, it's more shows, it...
What?
165
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:01,960
It's like training, live,
but with that-that rush.
166
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,960
That rush is addictive.
167
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,960
To you. Hang about,
that means a return audience.
168
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:10,960
Pollards regulars.
169
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:15,960
You specifically had me prepare
a storyline across seven shows.
170
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,960
You can't just triple everything
and expect it'll be better.
171
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,960
It's not an orgy. No, it's lucky
for you that I am a master LARPer.
172
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:27,960
I'll write us an epic storyline
that'll fill every hole.
173
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,960
Er, match, every match.
174
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,960
And here, more matches,
more post-show meals.
175
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:35,960
I'm game.
176
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,800
Look, I-I'm saying,
these-these long bathroom breaks
177
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,000
are starting to get noticed, uh,
178
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000
and we do have three costumes,
179
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,960
so perhaps Woodhouse
and I could take turns...
180
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:57,960
Sure, uh, figure it out, like,
triangle of trust and all that.
181
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,960
They need me out there.
182
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,960
Come on.
183
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,960
Shut up!
184
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,960
Holly, the Masked Hurricane's
missing out on all the freebies.
185
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,960
Yep.
186
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:23,960
Cos she's outside or asleep,
187
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:30,960
or-or she's stood in that
dark corner waving on her own.
188
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,960
Any questions? No? Good.
189
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,960
God, this thing really rides.
190
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,960
One, two, three!
191
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:06,960
Hol, your might want to get out
here, your ringer's a right goer.
192
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,960
Goodness, that's a lot of tongues.
193
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,640
Everyone's having a good time.
194
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,960
OK, Cliff your story for show 18'll
be fine
195
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,960
as long as you can
replicate yourself three times
196
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:30,960
and then all fight each other.
197
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:31,960
No problem, Bertha,
198
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,640
I can already see two of me
and I'll get working on a third.
199
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:35,960
Yes!
200
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,960
I actually finished the buffet
201
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,960
so they got me something
from the deep, deep freezer.
202
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,960
It's like a chicken-y beef.
Grrr!
203
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,960
Yeah, yeah, so give us your wages,
204
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,960
I'll exchange 'em for tokens
then I'll get more tokens
205
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,960
with those tokens and grab the pot
and we'll all be rich, yeah?
206
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,960
Yeah.
207
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,960
Guys. Guys.
208
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,960
Not to be all Clarence Clockwatcher,
209
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,960
but we've only got 20 minutes
until the next show.
210
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,960
I hope your day is fun and exciting
211
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,960
and if you have any complaints
please don't put them in writing.
212
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,960
Woodhouse, we've gotta get set up!
213
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:10,960
Yeah, as soon as I finish me shift,
pal.
214
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,960
I'm a cock-a-doodle-doer,
not a cock-a-don'tle-doer.
215
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:15,960
CLUCKS
216
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,960
Team!
Ready to smash it? Course you are.
217
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:23,960
And don't forget, keep, you know,
doing... whatever.
218
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:24,960
Holly!
219
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:31,960
GROANING
220
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:52,960
The winner, Ben's good identical
twin, not his evil identical twin.
221
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,960
Next, give it up for Berthalonicus.
222
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,960
It's ghost Berthalonicus!
223
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,960
Whatever,
versus the Masked Hurricane.
224
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,640
Grrr!
225
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,960
MOANING
226
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:15,640
EXCITED MOANING
227
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,000
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
228
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,960
GASPS
229
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,960
Can you guard the door
for another minute? Cheers.
230
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,800
I'm just saying the shows are
suffering. I-I'm not here to judge.
231
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:38,960
I'm not my dad,
232
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,160
who judges the Jersey Young
Morris Dancers competition...
233
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,960
harshly.
Between wrestling and cupboarding...
234
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,960
This is cos you're jealous of me
wrestling.
235
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,320
I'm not jealous of him...
of you wrestling!
236
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:53,160
It's not your business, Jack.
As in it's literally my business.
237
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,960
I'm the one carrying Boss. I'm the
one caring every day for a sick mum.
238
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,960
PHONE BUZZES
239
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,960
Jack, for once, everyone's happy,
240
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,960
which is, like, an emotion
that some people feel.
241
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,960
But, chill.
242
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,960
Everything's under control.
Except you.
243
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:16,960
Yes! Oh, yes!
244
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:21,960
I'm the Masked Hurricane, baby. Yes!
245
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:25,960
No!
246
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:49,960
That thing I revealed, it's
classified information, so shush,
247
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,960
welcome to the triangle of trust.
248
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,960
Again? Uh, I'm kind of tired.
249
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,960
No, that's not, um... Never mind.
250
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,960
Well, well, look what we have here.
251
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,480
Cliff, I, um...
252
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,960
Canteen's doing double
Pina Pollardas.
253
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,960
BUZZING
254
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,000
Ah, Mum, give it a rest!
255
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:25,960
Thanks, fit Mike from the triangle
of trust to the square of trust.
256
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,960
Oh, as in up your...
257
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,160
No, that's still not what it means,
and still no.
258
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,960
Anyone any objections?
259
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,960
Great, killer shows, Boss Pro,
you're murdering it.
260
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:47,800
Did you hear Jack? Mike's
extended our run as long as we want.
261
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,960
Yeah, we had a Simon and Garfunkel
act booked but I just found out
262
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,960
they're not singers and they
won't say what it is they do.
263
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,960
So as the camp's
chief decision maker,
264
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,960
until they reanimate
Peter Pollard from the deep,
265
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,960
deep freezer...
266
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,960
Holly, an open-ended run
is a really bad idea.
267
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,320
Mya's broke. Bertha's broken.
268
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,960
Cliff seems to be dying
in both senses of the word.
269
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,800
I don't remotely trust
whatever it is Ben's eating.
270
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,960
It's kind of a lamby turkey.
271
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,960
And Woodhouse is now
a very irresponsible hen.
272
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,960
Who wants to be a Battery Ken egg?
273
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,960
Come on, kids,
it's time to get laid!
274
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:22,960
Jack, I know you prefer we didn't
wrestle in front of an audience,
275
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,960
but I'm trying to get us unskint.
276
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:29,480
Plus, for once, I get to be
slammed about and wrestle.
277
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,960
Square of trust, eh?
278
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,640
Good morning, campers,
279
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,960
it's a new day at Pollards,
the resort you adore,
280
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:43,960
if you want sheets on your bed
it costs £2 more.
281
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,960
Nudge.
282
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,960
GASPS
283
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,960
This is the lucky one.
284
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,800
Ah, I can feel it. Mya?
Don't jinx it!
285
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:03,000
The machine is susceptible
to bad vibes.
286
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,960
You know the top prize
is just a pot?
287
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:07,960
Yeah.
288
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,960
Yeah, the Pollards
pot full of money.
289
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,960
Actually, I read
the Pollards manifunsto
290
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,960
and the money is merely "an example
of something you could put in it,"
291
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:18,960
and the pot is actually
a pot-style plastic item.
292
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:19,960
What?
293
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,960
I got it!
294
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:24,960
Hey, the money!
295
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:34,960
I see now I might have
misused my time.
296
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,960
Uh, Bertha?
297
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,960
I've had a breakthrough
on the next wave.
298
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,640
I've created a whole universe
that all makes impeccable sense.
299
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:47,160
Show 173,
the soul of the Masked Hurricane
300
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,000
inhabiting Clifford's body
versus my unborn child.
301
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,960
And here's the thing - the whole
match takes place backwards.
302
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,960
About that, I sent
Mango your backstory handbooks
303
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:02,160
and she's posted a page on the GWONK
blog entitled Continuity Errors.
304
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,960
Hm! "If the winner of the
trans dimensional battle royale
305
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,960
"in show 17 was a time-travelling
Berthalonicus
306
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,960
"from the future, how come
she didn't know she'd be betrayed
307
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:15,960
"by the Masked Hurricane when
they forged an alliance in show 9?"
308
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:21,960
MUSIC PLAYS,
DROWNING OUT SPEECH
309
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:27,960
SHE SCREAMS
310
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,960
Someone called food and hygiene,
sent them a photo of the kitchen
311
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,960
and toilet, which supposedly
shouldn't be the same room.
312
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,960
But, uh, take a Pol'pology card.
313
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,960
But I almost cracked the secret
ingredient. Just give me one more.
314
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:49,960
Then ten more.
315
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:53,960
Please, I need another bite
of that porky fish.
316
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,000
Yeah?
317
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,960
So when he walks past in the rooster
costume you'll read this poem
318
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:03,960
that I've written in the voice
of Peter Pollard.
319
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,960
The first days of Pollards
seemed gloriously bright,
320
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,160
but the sense creeps upon you
that something's not right.
321
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,960
Over the course of 12 persuasive
verses the park's own voice
322
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,960
will convince him that Woodhouse
should abandon Pollards
323
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,960
and return to his true destiny
in the world of wrestling.
324
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,640
Fair point, I'll go get me stuff.
325
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,960
See you in a sec.
326
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,800
Sorry about that,
I'll leave you to your work.
327
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:29,960
I don't work here.
328
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:39,480
Right, I'm here at 1:27
like you weirdly demanded by text,
329
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,960
email and Battery Ken tel-egg-gram.
330
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,960
Say what you like,
331
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,800
but getting this sweet gig
is not me letting Boss down.
332
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:51,960
I'm not going to say anything.
Watch this.
333
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,960
ON TV: 'Wrestling
is still going strong
334
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,960
'and the hottest British company
is Nitro Wrestling.
335
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,960
'We are joined today by Nick Nitro,
who's apparently 19.'
336
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:05,960
Yes, yes, welcome aboard
the Nitro express. Nitro wrestling!
337
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:06,960
Nick's a moron.
338
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,960
He-he straightens his pubes!
How does he get on national TV?
339
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,640
Pam set it up for you
to push Slamageddon,
340
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,960
but you never called her back.
341
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,960
Tell Holly when Mum called,
Nick answered, knife emoji.
342
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,960
Holly, we can't stay here forever.
343
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,960
I know how thrilling it is
to wrestle in front of people,
344
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,960
probably, but I need you...
345
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,480
..to lead the team as a manager.
346
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,960
Your commitment to wrestling
cannot go unsaid,
347
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,960
but without a strong leader
all the team will drop dead.
348
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:48,960
Let's leave immediately
and never speak of this again.
349
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:49,960
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
350
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:54,640
You're not going?
Uh, the walls are very thin here.
351
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,640
Technically, reinforced cardboard.
352
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,960
Right.
353
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:00,960
Fit Mike.
354
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,320
Do you never think, "I work
for a shitty family business
355
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,960
"with no redeeming qualities
whatsoever
356
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,960
"and I just urgently need
to get out"?
357
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,960
Talking about your job. Not mine.
358
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,960
Well, we're alive and richer for it.
359
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,960
Not financially, of course,
but spiritually.
360
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,160
That's it.
361
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,960
The Pino Pollarda secret ingredient
was methylated spirit.
362
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,960
Yeah, probably best we left.
I wonder who replaced us.
363
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,960
Hello, guys, I'm Simon Bifford.
364
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,960
I'm Garfunkel Jenkins,
and this is puppetry of the anus.
365
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,960
And for our first act we just need
any medium-sized object.
366
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,960
Uh, no keys, no keys, please.
367
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,960
We've a week of training left.
368
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,960
I'll get us together, I'll make us
a team for Slamageddon.
369
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,960
Us and the Hurricane.
370
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,960
So we're back
to the triangle of trust?
371
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,960
We got away with it.
372
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:03,960
What, the fact that Holly's
secretly the Masked Hurricane?
373
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,960
I knew the second I got the order.
374
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,960
I'd recognise
those tit measurements anywhere.
375
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,960
OK, now it's a square.
376
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,160
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