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1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:02,960
HE GRUNTS
2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,320
Make contact. Or it looks fake.
3
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,960
Faster. Cliff,
pretend to hit that woman properly
4
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:09,960
or I'm off.
5
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,960
Uh, uh, where you going?
6
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:13,960
Fine.
7
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:19,960
A key part of training that Holly
overlooks is resting the heart.
8
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:22,960
What is that fan saying about me?
9
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:25,960
Nothing to report from
the Boss camp,
10
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,960
but, Nick must have been reading
my thoughts. Stop it.
11
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,960
Because he's just dropped
a new advert.
12
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,160
Hair mousse, look, tan,
ten out of ten.
13
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:35,800
What's my name?
Nick Nitrogen.
14
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:40,960
If you wanna come party with me,
bring your ID... if you're a bloke.
15
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,960
It's weird what you can do with
a budget of more than...
16
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:46,960
absolutely no money.
17
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,960
Budgets are for boomers.
18
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,960
All I need is my phone
and that shit CCTV I installed
19
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,480
after that bloke tried to steal
our roof.
20
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,960
Look, Holly wanted an advert
that would sell out Slamageddon,
21
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,640
and I wanted to expand
my ad agency's portfolio.
22
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,960
And by "expand", I mean start.
I look best in 8K.
23
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,160
Yes, Jack! You're getting it!
24
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,320
Yes!
25
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,480
Twist it!
26
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,960
Without an audience
my anxiety goes away...
27
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:22,960
Jack, without an audience it's not
a show and nobody gets paid.
28
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,960
Our break-out space.
29
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,960
We think the smell's from
an underground pool
30
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,960
of old cattle blood.
31
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,640
You all right, Pam?
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00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,480
I didn't know the hospital
had discharged you.
33
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,480
Neither did they. Told the doctor
I was going for a shit.
34
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:37,960
Oh.
35
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,960
Right, let's get on.
Got poxy surgery in an hour.
36
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,960
And that's our third wasps nest.
37
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:49,960
But don't worry, seems the, er,
paint fumes keep them docile.
38
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,960
Either that
or they're planning something.
39
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,960
Jack's looking half decent.
This will look great in the promo.
40
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,960
Mum, aren't you supposed to be...?
41
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:03,480
Don't get your tiny tits in a tizzy,
I'm all ready.
42
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,960
Listen, if they're paying you
to be here,
43
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:06,960
you're still being ripped off.
44
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,000
Hey, Pam's watching,
do something cool. Whoa. Oof.
45
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,960
So your performance as The Ranger
was a fluke, then.
46
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,960
Shouldn't rely on ridiculous
costumes, it's embarrassing.
47
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,960
This is the saddest thing
I've ever seen.
48
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,480
And yesterday, the bloke in
the bed opposite mine
49
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:23,960
had his chap stuck in a milk bottle.
50
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,960
Mum, don't worry.
No, I'm not.
51
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,960
No, I mean, you might have lost us
the tour and set up shop in
52
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:35,960
a fucking shit hole, but...
I reckon things'll be all right.
53
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,960
We've still got our one guaranteed
money maker - Slamageddon.
54
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:44,800
And if there's one person I trust to
look after things until I get back,
55
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,960
it's my old mate, Enrique.
56
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,000
DOOR BANGS OPEN
57
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,960
WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS
58
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,960
Ah.
SHE CHUCKLES
59
00:02:55,960 --> 00:03:01,800
Looks like someone let the cat
out of the place for legends.
60
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,960
Enrique The Panther.
Well, soil my singlet.
61
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:04,960
Dad?
Mum?
62
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,000
That's your dad?!
63
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,960
Meet your new governor.
64
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:13,960
I came here for Pamela,
for Boss Pro Wrestling and...
65
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:14,960
For me?
66
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,960
..slightly more money.
67
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,000
ENRIQUE AND PAM LAUGH
68
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,960
OK. Everyone, gather round,
I've seen enough.
69
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,320
Listen up.
70
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,960
Large and in Charge,
you got the look.
71
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,960
Chunky Thighs, mm,
you've got some moves, man.
72
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,960
Cliff, my old, old, old...
73
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,320
old friend,
you got the experience, hm?
74
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,960
But all of your steaks
need a little bit
75
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,960
of my Argentinian chimichurri, hm?
76
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:03,960
Guapita, your big show
has got potential,
77
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,960
to be a load of mierda!
What are you showing them, huh?
78
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:12,960
Oh, you know, wrestling, focusing on
the fundamentals, the substance.
79
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,960
Substance, substance.
80
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,800
All I'm hearing is,
"I ain't got no style," uh.
81
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,960
Dull Man, what is the secret
of being a good wrestler, hm?
82
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,480
Um, er,
mastery of the imploding 450.
83
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:29,960
No-no, the corkscrew 450...
or the imploding corkscrew 450...?
84
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,960
Uh-ah! Wrong!
85
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:35,640
Charisma. What's your gimmick, huh?
86
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,960
You wanna be a cool guy,
wear cool clothes like me, hm?
87
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,320
Or a stallion
at the peak of fitness?
88
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,960
Also like me, hm?
89
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,960
Your fans, they need to love you,
but also they need to hate you.
90
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:54,160
But above all, they need to buy
the merchandise of you.
91
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,960
HE LAUGHS
92
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,160
Yes.
93
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,960
Now... I go powder my nose.
94
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:00,960
HE SNIFFS
95
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,960
Hey... Dad.
96
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,480
Eight years, whoo, love it.
97
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,960
Fancy some father/son training?
98
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,960
How do you fancy leaving me
to my own business, huh?
99
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,960
Ah! Only joking.
Ah.
100
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,960
S-So you will train...?
101
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,160
Listen up, everybody!
102
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,960
I want to see if you've got
what it takes
103
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,960
when it comes to
the art of the promo.
104
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,960
Let me show you how it's done.
Huh.
105
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,960
Your days of being led by
a little girl
106
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:34,960
are well and truly over,
107
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,800
because now you've got me -
108
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:41,960
the leanest, meanest,
sex machine-est,
109
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,960
panther tattoo,
with a panther penis.
110
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,320
Enrique! Ai-ai-ai!
111
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:49,960
Hello, are we running?
112
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,960
My name's Berthalonicus and...
113
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,960
There's no-one more thrilling
for your shilling.
114
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,960
Are you scared?
You should be scared.
115
00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,960
Five-foot-seven of fury.
116
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,960
I'd like to start by addressing
the structural
117
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,320
and systemic advantages...
118
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,480
Can I just pose?
119
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,960
Cigarette? Anything you like.
Dinner time.
120
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,960
I'll wait, um, but I'm ready.
121
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:11,960
Let's have lunch!
122
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,800
In conclusion, I...
123
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:14,960
Hey.
Oh.
124
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,960
Hey. Eh, don't be embarazado.
125
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,480
No, it's OK, I get it.
126
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,960
Hey, dull man,
bit of friendly advice, huh.
127
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:27,960
Quit. Now.
128
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,960
You have zero talent...
129
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,960
..zero charisma, zero chimichurri.
Now, go.
130
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:39,320
Go. Go, go. Let's continue
this lesson at the bar.
131
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,960
CHEERING
What did he say?
132
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,960
No. Um...
133
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,480
Charisma, charisma.
134
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:51,960
HE EXHALES
135
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:55,960
Come on!
136
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,160
Yep.
137
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,960
When literally no-one's watching,
you're fairly good.
138
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:11,320
Gosh, er... I-I came to, er,
do the bins. Sure.
139
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,960
I came to change a light bulb (!)
140
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,960
Fuck off and wrestle me.
Yes, no, but...
141
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,480
It's just, I personally don't
believe that people are disabled,
142
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,960
I believe it's society
which disables other peop...
143
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,960
HE GRIMACES
144
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,960
I mean, if your mum saw you do this,
surely she'd let you do a show?
145
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,640
If she saw me doing this,
she'd be, like,
146
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,960
"Get the hell out that ring,
you're broken enough."
147
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,960
Then have another
massive heart attack at me.
148
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,960
Jack, I'm not made of glass.
149
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:55,320
Oh, really? Because I, er,
saw through that move.
150
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,960
Was that... banter?
151
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,480
D'you know, I think it actually
might have been bant... Argh!
152
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,960
CHEERING
153
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,960
Go pay.
Oh.
154
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,320
Now, I want to tell you how I became
155
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,960
the most popular bad guy of 1982.
156
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,640
There was this fantastic
little thing
157
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,960
called The Falklands War.
158
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,960
LAUGHTER
159
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:22,960
Ooh, yeah.
160
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,960
Cheers, pal.
161
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,960
I didn't hear that.
You wanna call yourself Back Rammer?
162
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,960
Oh, er, no, er, Jack Hammer.
Oh.
163
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,640
It's, um, sort of a pun.
164
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,960
Give me an elbow.
165
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,800
What about your name?
If it wouldn't kill your mother.
166
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,320
Never really thought about it.
167
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,960
Yeah, right. And I... eat crisps.
168
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,960
Come on.
169
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,960
Hurricane Holly?
170
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:06,960
Go on.
171
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,960
And I'd come out with a cape on...
172
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,000
..with, like, spirals and shit.
173
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,960
Like a... Like a...
Like a hurricane.
174
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,480
Hurricane Holly, it's perfect.
175
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:33,960
CRASHING
176
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,960
Whoa. Didn't see the floor there.
177
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,960
Oh. Hey, guys.
178
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:44,960
Dad's officially gonna train me
and I quote, "At some point".
179
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,000
Pure skill. Maxed out my debit card,
180
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,960
so just grabbed
the old emergency credit cardo.
181
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,320
He ordered a round of doubles
for the whole bar.
182
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,960
HE LAUGHS
183
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,960
Absolute legend!
184
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,960
CRASHING
185
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,480
Families are bullshit.
186
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,960
Hols, you missed out...
187
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,960
..on a bunch of long,
boring stories.
188
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,960
I reckon the guys are gonna wake up
189
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:29,640
from their South American siesta
pretty...
190
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:30,960
Oh, God.
191
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,960
So, we hold him down,
we shave off one eyebrow,
192
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,160
we strip him totally naked,
193
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:39,960
then we call his wife to tell her
he died in a fire.
194
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,960
THEY LAUGH
195
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,960
Sorry, what had his guy done?
196
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:44,960
It was his birthday.
197
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,960
THEY LAUGH
198
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,960
It was a proper
wrestler's night out.
199
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,960
Shots, shags, one almost arrest...
200
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,960
and that was just Enrique.
201
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,960
THEY LAUGH
202
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,960
Don't forget the, er, party
back at mine afterwards.
203
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:06,960
So epic he couldn't even hear me
shouting through the letterbox!
204
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,960
Oh, gracias.
205
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,960
So, Enrique, Woodhouse tells me
you're finally gonna train him.
206
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,960
When?
Oh, princess-ita...
207
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,320
When the vibe is right.
208
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,960
I'd be happy to train Woodhouse.
209
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,960
Jack'll train him. Wow, Enrique,
I guess you're yesterday's news.
210
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,960
Woodhouse, we train tonight.
211
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,000
I'm up for it, Daddio.
212
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,960
Slept off most of me hangover
in the front garden.
213
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,960
In fact, I'm gonna give you my word
on something else, too. Here.
214
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,960
Everyone.
215
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,960
ENRIQUE CLAPS HIS HANDS
Everyone, listen up.
216
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,960
Girl George, Muscles, Eton Mess,
you are beautiful,
217
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,960
but we have a problem -
218
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,320
three is not enough to pull off
Slamtasia.
219
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,320
Slamageddon.
Whatever you say, sweetie.
220
00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,800
So, Enrique here is gonna
do you all a favour -
221
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,960
step into the ring and wrestle!
222
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,960
You'd really be our fourth wrestler?
223
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:09,960
If by "fourth" you mean headliner,
and 50% of the back end?
224
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,640
Then, yes.
No.
225
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,800
Sorry, muchacha, I make the rules.
226
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,960
We have more than three wrestlers.
227
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,960
Jack. Actual...
228
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,000
We actually have Jack.
229
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,960
HE is not fit to lick my balls.
230
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,960
That's not the saying,
but yes, he is.
231
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,480
Is he now? Well, why doesn't he
get up there and show me.
232
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,960
Oh, I think he will.
233
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,960
What am I about to do?
Showcase match, Jack.
234
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,960
No ball licking.
Right, OK.
235
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,960
Thanks. Good.
236
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,640
Wait. Wait. Sorry, what?
237
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,960
Stepping into the ring, lean, mean,
238
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,960
blah, blah, weird tattoo, Enrique!
239
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:50,960
And his opponent,
introducing the Jack Hammer!
240
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,320
WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS
241
00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:01,960
OK, Zuckerberg, it's on. Grrr!
242
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,160
15 minutes.
243
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,960
HE PANTS
244
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,800
Jack, are you gonna let
an aging opportunist
245
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,160
with three fake hips take your spot?
246
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,960
Don't you want people to see
what you can do?
247
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,320
I do, but I'm also focused on
the cleaning rota,
248
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,960
ironing the ring apron, and...
Jack... I get it.
249
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,640
I know she left you with
a whole crowd of wedding guests
250
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:21,960
to apologise to...
251
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,960
..but in the words of your ex,
252
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,160
after she left you
for your brother....
253
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:30,960
You can cry before, during
or after love making, just pick one.
254
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,960
I regret having shared that.
255
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,800
She said, "Just bloody get over it",
right?
256
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,960
So get in that ring and fight
for your future.
257
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,960
And by fight, I mean
pretend to fight, but you know,
258
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:45,960
do it well.
259
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,160
What a day. My pal versus my pop.
260
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,960
And then, the dad panther
training me later.
261
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:58,960
But first, some warm up for you.
Wait.
262
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,960
You run to this address,
263
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:07,960
you lift a big box from
a very angry woman's flat.
264
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,960
Oh, er... sure.
265
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,960
Wow, that's... far.
266
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:20,960
Mm. Then, it's my treat to you.
You like pizzas?
267
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:25,960
Yeah. You buy some pizzas
and I eat them with you.
268
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,960
Go.
Oh. Yeah.
269
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,960
HE SIGHS
270
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,960
Jack, you know the trailers are
meant to make Boss Pro look... good.
271
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,960
It's just a LITTLE training match.
272
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,960
Listen. You do any moves
even slightly wrong,
273
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,960
I'm a gonna beat the shit out of you
for real.
274
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,960
We're all behind you.
275
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:49,960
Break his fingers as a prank?
276
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,800
Predictions.
Jack's fucked it.
277
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,960
Jack!
Can't do this.
278
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,960
Jack, get over it!
279
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,960
Here comes the Jack Hammer.
280
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:06,960
I can do this.
Grrrr.
281
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:07,960
I can do this.
282
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,000
I panic ran, didn't I?
283
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,480
Well, well, well.
284
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,960
Has the patient recovered from
little bitch-itis?
285
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,960
I've got no time for snowflakes,
286
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:31,160
unless of course you're talking
about my beloved cocaine.
287
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,960
Right, time to get back in the game.
288
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,960
Look, look at me. Now, look at me.
You just need...
289
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,160
No! Stop!
290
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,960
You can't tell me to just bleeping
get over it.
291
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,960
That's like me telling you to
just bleeping HEAR perfectly.
292
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,960
All expenses covered, you say?
293
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,960
Ah. Er, will my name
be bigger than El Tigre?
294
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,960
Si. You got
this panther's attention. Ha-ha.
295
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,960
Well, it's been mucho joy,
compadres, but I done here.
296
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,960
Why?
Er, sorry, dragoncita.
297
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,800
This panther is pouncing on
a sweeter gig -
298
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,960
South American
Wrestling Legends Tour,
299
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,960
Hispanic Panic!
Kicking off in Blackpool.
300
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:25,960
So... I follow my one true love -
slightly more money.
301
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,960
Adios. Grrrr.
302
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,960
Pauline, my Blackpool babe, uh.
Long time no see, huh?
303
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:43,960
Yeah. Tonight, fancy a bit of
Netflix and anal sex,
304
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,320
if you know what I mean? He-he.
305
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,960
See you later, C-3P-shit.
306
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,960
Oh, and have fun with
the Old Age Pisshead,
307
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,960
Jabba The Gut, and Ben,
probably the most stupid wrestler
308
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,800
I've ever met in my life,
309
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,960
which is saying something cos
I have met Captain Fire Trousers.
310
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,480
My God, look at you.
311
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:11,320
You're pathetic, just like
that useless waste of my spunk.
312
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,960
That semen's name is Woodhouse,
and you promised you'd train him.
313
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,960
And what are you,
the keeper of the diary?
314
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,000
Well, yes. I also do the bins.
315
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,640
HE SCOFFS
316
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,960
If you promised you'd do something,
you should do it.
317
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,960
Don't teach me how to be a dad.
318
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,960
Who do you think you are,
various social workers?
319
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,960
No, I think I'm the one
who has to go in there
320
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,960
and apologise to those 100
wedding guests, to-to everyone.
321
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,960
What are you gonna do,
little jack off, uh?
322
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,480
You can't even get in the ring
without pissing your pants, uh.
323
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,640
When you gonna stand up
for yourself, huh?
324
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,960
There's nobody else here,
nobody's watching, uh.
325
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,960
And that's how I do the bins.
326
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,960
'With the Old Aged Pisshead,
Jabba The Gut, and Ben,
327
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,960
'probably the most stupid wrestler
I've ever met in my life.'
328
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,960
D'you know,
I thought Enrique was sound,
329
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,960
but hearing him properly slag us
all off behind our backs
330
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,960
makes me think he's sort of a...
Massive prick?
331
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,960
Ah, the thing with Enrique is that
he is totally sound,
332
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,960
but he's also a massive prick.
333
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,960
And now the jammy bastard's
living it up
334
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,480
with his South American pals.
About that.
335
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,960
Some footage from my phone,
336
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,320
featuring my finest
Duolingo Spanish,
337
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,960
got mysteriously sent to
his new employers
338
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,000
and then leaked to the internet.
339
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,960
Enrique...
Mm.
340
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,800
Que quieres beber?
341
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,320
REGIONAL ENGLISH ACCENT:
Aye? Eh, no,
342
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,960
you can forget all of that
mumbo jumbo.
343
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,960
I only know about five words.
344
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:54,960
No, my real name's
Richard Bollingsworth.
345
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,960
I'm from Hartlepool.
What?
346
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:02,160
Aye, but don't tell the taxman, aye?
Shh!
347
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,960
He was lying.
He's...
348
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,960
The panther has now been dropped
from the Hispanic Panic tour
349
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:07,960
and his whereabouts are unknown.
350
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,960
Next stop, Boss Pro Wrestling
have just uploaded
351
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,960
their own trailer.
It looks amazing!
352
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,960
MUSIC: 'Bonkers'
by Dizzee Rascal
353
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,640
Mya, you are spectacular.
354
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,960
Well, Jack gave us the hero shot.
355
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,960
I'm never letting him touch me
again. I feel...
356
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,320
Is that a real beard?
No.
357
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,800
How do you know? I do.
Really?
358
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:34,320
Arsehole! How would you know?
I grow...
359
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,960
Ah, that's why. That's not
a real beard, I should have seen it.
360
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,960
Apology accepted.
361
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,480
And, I-I owe you one, too.
362
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,960
Enrique was right about one thing,
though.
363
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,960
We could use another wrestler.
Especially if...
364
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,320
Something will turn up.
365
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,960
Wanna get really drunk?
366
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,960
Oh, I'm afraid I've got plans.
367
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,320
Oh, um... OK.
368
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,960
Sorry, I know were expecting
your dad to be here.
369
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,000
I also thought he was
South American.
370
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,960
Nice to see him, though.
Oh.
371
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,960
I've got a bit of a problem, too.
372
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,320
I was hoping to train with a pal.
373
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,320
But all I can see...
374
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,800
..is a best pal.
375
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:39,960
Ready to learn some moves?
376
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:44,960
I may have just eaten
a double XL pizza.
377
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,960
Yes, I am... BP.
378
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,800
And just bounce off. Three steps.
379
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,800
Yeah, nice, OK.
PHONE ALERT TONE
380
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,960
Yes, I've got an Etsy order.
381
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:16,960
Wrestling costume. Capes with
a spiral for The Masked Hurricane.
382
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,960
Shit name.
383
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,960
Oh, hoo-hoo-hoo!
384
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,960
Yeah, doesn't hurt.
385
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,160
Yeah, I mean, it will tomorrow.
Oh.
386
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,960
Yeah.
Yeah, BP!
387
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,800
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