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DISTORTED HUMMING
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00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,960
UPBEAT MUSIC
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00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,960
Whoo!
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00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:27,960
Oh!
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00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,320
HE ROARS
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00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:36,960
Boo!
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00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:42,960
And that is Boss Pro,
the baddest wrestling in town.
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00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,960
Now, for something very special.
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Entering the ring...
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Hurricane Holly!
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Oi! Holly! No, down!
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That's how you did yourself in
in the first place!
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00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,960
Leave the wrestling to your brother!
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00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,320
It's the teenage dream.
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It's Nick Nitro!
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MUSIC: 'The One and Only'
by Chesney Hawkes
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# I am the one and only
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# Nobody I'd rather be
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# I am the one and only... #
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Come on!
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00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,960
# You can't take
that away from me. #
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Come on, then! Waa!
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LIVELY GUITAR RIFF
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Duck one.
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00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,640
Over the back.
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00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,960
Off the ropes?
27
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,480
Gorilla press.
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SHE SIGHS
You're kidding.
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00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,960
They've stolen my routine.
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00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,160
Surely your brother
and your boyfriend wouldn't both...
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00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,480
Yeah, that is the slam you invented.
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00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,960
Nick! Nick! Nick!
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CHEERING
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00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,960
Three!
BELL RINGS
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Come on, then! Whoo!
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Suck it!
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00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,960
Did your brother just tell you
to suck his...?
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00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,960
Classic Nick.
We've got this silly running joke
39
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,960
where he calls me Floater
and pretends I'm his servant.
HE CHUCKLES
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00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:31,960
Dead funny.
41
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,960
And just to remind you,
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00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,960
it's only five quid
for a photo with Nick Nitro,
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00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,480
plus entry to the Meat Raffle.
44
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:43,960
Out next, she's genuinely a nut job.
45
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,960
It's Jill the Ripper!
46
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,960
I don't... I don't... I don't think
she quite heard you there.
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00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:59,960
Come on, big it up
for Jill the Ripper!
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00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
50
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,960
Oh, I look like a right cu...
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00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,320
HE COUGHS
Where is she?
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00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,640
No-one's seen Jill.
53
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,960
I've called the police station,
the tattoo parlour,
54
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,640
that solvents factory...
Listen, you Pound Shop Mormon,
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00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,800
I've got a woman's match starting
out there in 30 seconds' time,
56
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,960
so unless you can grow some tits,
get out of my way!
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00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,960
Mum, I've got tits.
You need a female wrestler.
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00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:29,320
You know I'm trained.
Please, just for once!
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00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,480
For once, can you let me out there!
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00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,800
Hols, petal,
the rule's there for a reason.
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00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:35,960
You...
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00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:36,960
don't...
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00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,960
wrestle!
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'Leave the wrestling
to your brother!'
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I've cleaned the toilets.
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00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,960
It's not my job,
but somebody just had to.
67
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,960
Also, Holly,
it's not my place to say,
68
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,960
but really it should've been
you wrestling,
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00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,960
instead of that second bonus
meat raffle.
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00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,960
Jack, Jack. Let's talk debuts.
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00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,960
I figured we'll
want to be a tag team,
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00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:12,960
which means we'll need a name.
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00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,160
I've been thinking Long and Hard.
What do you reckon?
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00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,960
You'd be Long, I'd be Hard,
and my catchphrase, "Shablazzo!"
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00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,960
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
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00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,160
Now then, now then...
Do you know what, yeah?
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00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:27,160
Sometimes, I am actually
almost gutted that I am not gay,
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00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,960
because I honestly reckon
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00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,960
I would get a massive boner
watching me wrestle.
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00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,960
I still do get boners, though.
Like, easily.
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00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,800
Hey, Floater.
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00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,960
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
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00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,960
Get back in the B-zone
unless you're summoned.
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00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,480
With Scotch eggs, do you reckon they
just feed the chickens breadcrumbs?
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00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,960
Right, that'll do Floater.
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack.
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00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,960
You know who's been, erm,
talking all about the progress
87
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,960
that you've been making
during training. No, who?
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00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,000
No-one!
HE LAUGHS
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00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,960
Oh, there it is.
90
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,960
Hey! Chlamydia alert!
91
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,960
So, erm, I heard that Holly,
the reject,
92
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,320
tried to get on the show,
93
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,960
but she got rejected,
because she's a reject.
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00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,960
You stole my moves.
You and Si?
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00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,000
What, me and your ex?
HE SCOFFS
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00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,960
I did you a favour, Hols.
Mum won't let you in a ring.
97
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,960
Only lets you train out of pity,
so hardly gonna use 'em, were you?
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00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,960
I said ex, yeah. Did you, erm...?
Did you hear me?
99
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:25,960
There you go, Si.
100
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,960
Told you it would be nice and easy
if I broke the news.
101
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,960
He was ashamed, you know,
that he was seeing you.
102
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,160
Nick, that's it!
103
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,960
I've had enough of you
and your twattishness
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00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,960
and your vain bullshit!
I've never had lip fillers.
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00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,800
What?
What?
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00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,960
I was talking about
your pathetic codpiece.
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00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,960
It's not pathe... I-I...
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00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,800
I don't have a codpiece, right?
And, Si...
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00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,960
Just cos the bloke who makes
your gear does it for free,
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00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,800
cos you posed for those photos,
you're not all that.
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He's hotter than you.
Oh, well, I'm, erm...
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00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,960
Erm... Right, yes, no.
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00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,160
PS, your breath stinks,
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because the protein you buy
off Mya, dodgy as fuck.
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00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,160
Sorry, dodgy?
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00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,960
Then, why has it been used by four
out of five Grand National winners?
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00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,960
Roxy! God, you're terrifying.
118
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,960
I was just using him
for incredibly average sex,
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00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,960
so you're welcome to bang him.
NICK CHUCKLES
120
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,960
Well, they already have.
121
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,960
Plus, we all had a threesome
in Bognor. Quality.
122
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,960
You absolute mingers.
You deserve each other.
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00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,960
Young, dumb and full of cum.
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00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,960
Whatever, mate,
because you know what, right?
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00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,960
You've got loads of time
to just sit around, right,
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00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,640
and... And... And...
And think of, erm,
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00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,960
of words,
because you don't wrestle.
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00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,960
Hey, Holly?
FEEDBACK FROM EARPIECE
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00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,960
Can you hear me?
SHE SCREAMS
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00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,960
SHE SHRIEKS
Mum. Mum.
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00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,960
Listen, no-one said
the meat in the raffle was edible.
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00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,640
That's on you.
133
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,960
Please, I'm trying.
Mum, I'm gonna quit... Boom!
134
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,000
Oh, Nicky, my love.
135
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:59,960
Mum, listen to me.
No, Mum, listen to me.
136
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,320
Sure. Nick first,
just like with the bathwater.
137
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,800
I'm quitting.
You what?
138
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,960
Yep. Taking all this lot with me,
starting my own tour.
139
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,800
I'm teaming up with this bloke,
Rajesh,
140
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,960
owns all of Bubblez nightclubs.
141
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,960
I've been going to his
freshers nights for the last 15...
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00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,800
Couple. Last...
Last couple of years.
143
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:18,960
Now, I've been saying
no for a while, Mum,
144
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,640
because I, I'm loyal to you.
145
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,960
But tonight, Holly,
she gave me no choice
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00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:24,960
when she ganged up on me...
147
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:28,320
and Si and Roxy...
148
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,960
and Bulk...
149
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,960
and Tiny.
150
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,960
So we're off.
All of you?
151
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,960
My Boss Pro wrestlers?
No.
152
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,320
No, no, no, no, no.
We're Nitro Wrestling now, Mum.
153
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,960
I'm sorry...
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00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,960
is what Holly
should be saying to you!
155
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,480
Come on, guys, let's go.
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00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,960
To Skegness.
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00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,960
Great (!)
Oh.
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00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,160
Mum?
159
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,960
I definitely should've gone first.
160
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,960
AMBULANCE BEEPS
161
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,960
I've been told
I've not got long left.
162
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,960
Nurse'll be back in ten minutes,
then I'm off the fags.
163
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,960
You shouldn't have pushed him
away, Hols. He's impulsive!
164
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,640
Spur of the moment!
Impulsive?
165
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,960
He's got tour dates
and a theme tune.
166
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,640
You can knock that up with... apps.
167
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:41,960
I've lost the company
I've spent my whole life building...
168
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,960
..and I've lost my only child.
169
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,960
Son, only son.
170
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,960
You don't have to lose anything.
171
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,160
I can run Boss and,
if we're short, then I can...
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00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,320
Don't even say.
173
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,960
I'm not having you end up
in the bed next to me.
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00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,960
Mum, I'm 25 now.
175
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,960
I've learnt not to throw myself
headfirst onto breezeblocks.
176
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,960
I could wrestle!
Don't you think you've done enough?
177
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,960
Just... shut the company down.
178
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,960
We've got another night
at New Brighton
179
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:16,960
and then the rest of the tour.
Not without Nick and the lads.
180
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,960
You can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make it wrestle.
181
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,800
Actually, that's not strictly true.
182
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,480
I did teach a horse to wrestle
back in '83.
183
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,960
Absolute disaster.
184
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,960
I need you to sort this, Hols.
185
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,960
I will, erm... Mum.
I-I will, erm, cancel the tour.
186
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:38,960
We're doing the tour.
187
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,960
Really?
Shablazzo!
188
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,960
Mum thinks
I've destroyed her company,
189
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,960
but, tomorrow, I'm gonna save it.
190
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,960
Hey, before I take on
the biggest challenge of my life,
191
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,640
we should go for a drink.
192
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,640
Oh. I mean, wow.
193
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:55,960
That's, erm...
194
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:56,960
Ah, right, yeah.
195
00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,960
No, it's him again.
Yeah, that makes sense.
196
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,960
I wish you well.
197
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,960
I've done the maths
and to make up the numbers,
198
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,960
I'm pretty sure Holly's
gonna need me to wrestle tonight,
199
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,960
but I'm just not ready.
200
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,960
Sure you are.
You just need a gimmick.
201
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,960
Ah! The Divorce-o!
202
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,960
Again, it wasn't a divorce.
We were engaged,
203
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,960
and then her fencing instructor,
my brother...
204
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,960
Living the dream, day one.
205
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,960
Woodhouse, shift!
Can do! Shotgun back seat!
206
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,800
Did you have a nice evening?
Sorry?
207
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,960
Oh, sorry. Did you have
a nice evening? Not a classic.
208
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,160
Turned out to be
a close-up magician.
209
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,960
I feel dirty.
210
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,000
Grand-da,
I've left your tablets out.
211
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,960
Oh, and my orc helmet's drying
on the kitchen table,
212
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,480
so don't pick it up by the horns!
213
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,960
No-one knows about Mum yet,
so, shh!
214
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,960
Move!
Shotgun left seat.
215
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,960
Oh!
All right?
216
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,960
It's not blackmail!
217
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,960
Look, do me a free shawarma,
you get five stars on TripAdvisor.
218
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,960
Woodhouse, move!
Shotgun middle.
219
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,960
Sorry I'm late, folks,
I was jogging.
220
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,640
Accidentally joined a marathon.
221
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:20,960
Two hours 43.
222
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,960
I did stop for lunch, though.
223
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,640
Oh, Woodhouse, pal.
No wozzes.
224
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,320
Shotgun boot!
Good man.
225
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,960
Belt, mirror.
226
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:30,960
Oh, erm, "Think bike"...
227
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:34,800
Jack, can you whizz us past
the GUM clinic?
228
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,960
It was a...
It was a big LARPing weekend.
229
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,960
The crotchless armour
that I designed
230
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,960
was a bit hit with the elven
and the warlock communities.
231
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,960
Crotchless? I swear,
nerds are too fucking horny.
232
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:47,960
I'll go for a swab, as well.
233
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,960
I went for a sports massage,
she ended up jumping on.
234
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,960
Keeps happening.
I've gotta go clinic, too.
235
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,960
Si had a threesome
with Nick and Roxy.
236
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:57,960
Hello, just checking to see
237
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,960
if I've caught anything
off my own brother.
238
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,960
That's disgusting.
239
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:02,960
Living the dream (!)
240
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,960
Hiya, Cliff. Ready to wrestle?
241
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,960
Never felt better.
242
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,960
Morning, all.
Where are the grown-ups?
243
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,960
So sorry to hear Pam
has been hospitalised
244
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,320
and Nick's taken most of
the wrestlers
245
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,640
to form a new company
called Nitro Wrestling.
246
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,960
THEY ALL CHATTER
247
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,960
It's only an hour show!
248
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,960
We can swap in and out
to make up the numbers.
249
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,160
Hols, I know you want to do
this for your mum
250
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:56,800
and we're glad she's not...
un-alive, but look around you.
251
00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:02,960
This lot are either too green,
too grey, too neurotic, too chaotic,
252
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,960
too aggressive, or too crap.
253
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,960
I guess I am pretty aggressive.
254
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,960
Listen, only an idiot
would want to be a wrestler.
255
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,960
Long hours, short careers.
256
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,160
Risking your life
for a pretend fight.
257
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,960
But it's also
the greatest show in the world
258
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,960
and we are idiots,
because we love it!
259
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,960
Now, are you idiots ready to show
260
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,960
St Arnold's Community Centre
and Baths what we can do?
261
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:30,960
Because I sure am!
262
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,960
THEY MUTTER UNENTHUSIASTICALLY
263
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,160
I can't hear you!
264
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,960
Oh.
Oh, no, not cause of me ears,
265
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,960
cos, erm,
I'm trying to be inspirational.
266
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,960
THEY MUTTER
267
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,960
And I don't have chlamydia.
Me, neither.
268
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,960
I'm going to have to phone
those warlock blacksmiths.
269
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,800
And that elf queen.
270
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:51,960
And that Uber driver.
271
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,960
CHANTING: Boss Pro Wrestling!
272
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,960
Boss Pro Wrestling!
273
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:05,800
Boss Pro Wrestling!
274
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,960
Oh, the three most dangerous types
of punter are all out there.
275
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,320
Squaddies, hen party, old ladies
276
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,960
and I think the mother of the bride
might be all three.
277
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,960
Great, we have a show! Mya!
278
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,960
How do you feel about being
the world's first referee and MC?
279
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:21,960
I'll update my LinkedIn!
280
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,960
Woodhouse,
you're not ready to wrestle,
281
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,480
but how would you feel
about selling the merch,
282
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,960
not just unloading it?
283
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,960
Within yards of the ring?
Mm-hmm.
284
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,960
The Woodhouse family legacy beckons.
And we'd be sorted
285
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,960
if someone would go on
as the Ranger.
286
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,000
Oh, the Power Ranger?
Powerful Ranger.
287
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,480
Since Mum's court case.
That's a great idea.
288
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,800
It's fun, popular
and can be played by any...
289
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,960
Oh, uh...
HE RETCHES
290
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,960
Holly, this new armour's
actually quite freeing.
291
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,960
I reckon I could definitely
wrestle in it.
292
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:49,960
Hols, I'm getting hangry.
293
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,960
I panicked and used
the vending machine without looking.
294
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,320
Turns out
it only does swimming caps.
295
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,960
I'm bleedin' starving.
PHONE BUZZES
296
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,640
Um, erm...
297
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,960
DISTORTED CRACKLE
298
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,960
Nick, I can't hear you.
I can't read your lips.
299
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,960
'Reject!'
Eurgh.
300
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,960
Read these lips.
301
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:10,960
HE SCREAMS
Oh, fuck!
302
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:11,960
SHE CHUCKLES
303
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,960
CROWD CHANT
304
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,640
This costume really could do
with being taken in.
305
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:20,800
Shall I do that
306
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,960
and then we could try this again in,
say, a week or so? Shut up.
307
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,960
Mya, you're up.
I'm in the same boat, mate.
308
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,960
Never done this before.
Completely bricking it.
309
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,960
New Brighton!
CHEERING
310
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,480
Come on!
311
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:41,960
Are you ready for some backbreaking,
risk-taking,
312
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:47,000
high flying, piledriving,
line-up completely changed,
313
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,960
wrestling?!
314
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,960
First up,
the Gentleman Grappler,
315
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,960
Clifford Baxter!
316
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,480
Remember, wrestling's like jazz.
317
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,960
Part improvised, part collaborative
and much more fun when you're drunk.
318
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,960
Get out there, lad, you'll be fine.
319
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,800
Versus the Powerful Ranger!
320
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,640
Jack, this is your dream.
You want to wrestle!
321
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,160
At some point!
322
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,960
I want to be a grandfather
at some point,
323
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,960
but, if it happened today,
I'd be terrified.
324
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,960
OK. OK, OK.
325
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,000
HE RETCHES
326
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,960
Fuck's sake. Ben, you're up.
327
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,960
HE SCREAMS
328
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,960
One, two, three!
329
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,960
CHEERING
330
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,960
Jack, that is the last foam hand
and someone has bought it,
331
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,000
so once you're done vomming,
just give me a nod.
332
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000
It's fine. The Ranger can go on in
the second match.
333
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,960
Jack, we've trained.
You can do the moves. Yes!
334
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,960
All I have to do is do those moves.
335
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,960
In front of 250...
336
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,960
HE RETCHES
337
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,960
SHE GRUNTS
338
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,960
Argh.
Sorry, pal. Sorry about that.
339
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,960
Ben, you're gonna have to go again!
What?
340
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,960
In disguise.
Bertha, can you make Ben a mask
341
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:13,960
in the next, like, ten seconds?
342
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,960
Gimme.
343
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,160
You are now the Grappling Gimp.
344
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,960
Sound, right. See youse out there.
Thank you.
345
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,960
Right behind you.
346
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
347
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,960
Your winner!
348
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
349
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,960
This, erm, freaky new guy!
350
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,960
OK, everyone's been on,
351
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,960
so the Ranger's now in
the main event.
352
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,960
Cool, right, you and Cliff.
353
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,960
What you doing?
You promised that you'd do extra!
354
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:55,960
And I did.
I was expecting six minutes
355
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,960
of low-energy nonsense
with the Ranger,
356
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,960
not a 25-minute barn burner
with that beast.
357
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:03,960
Bertha!
358
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,640
SHE INHALES
359
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,960
SHE EXHALES
360
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,960
Never mind.
361
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,960
Um... Ben! I'm sorry.
362
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,960
I know that you haven't eaten.
No worries, no worries.
363
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,960
Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
I've done it again!
364
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,960
Weighing in at 107 kilos.
365
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,960
CHEERING
366
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,320
Or, erm, 235 pounds!
367
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,320
BOOING
368
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,960
Or...
369
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:52,960
3,760 ounces!
370
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:53,960
BOOING
371
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,960
No, Jack!
Just perform in the bloody costume!
372
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,960
Holly! Let me.
373
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,960
I was taught
an advanced form of reiki
374
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:04,960
when I was briefly part of
375
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,960
what may - or may not -
have been a dangerous cult.
376
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,960
Breathe deep.
377
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,960
CALMING FLUTE PLAYS
378
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,960
First, I'm gonna tell you...
379
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:19,960
my PIN number.
380
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,960
CROWD JEER
381
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,800
He'll be here any second.
382
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,960
BOOING
383
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,960
At this point, the Master
would hand us the crystal,
384
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,960
which is what he called
his erect penis,
385
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,320
but we could skip that.
386
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,960
CROWD JEER
387
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,960
I had to buy a ticket
to get back in.
388
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:42,960
Hey, what's going on? Where's Jack?
389
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,160
Don't worry.
He won't let us down.
390
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,960
BOOING
391
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,960
And his serious,
mysterious opponent...
392
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,960
..The Powerful Ranger!
393
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,960
MUSIC: 'I Love It'
by Icona Pop ft. Charli XCX
394
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,960
SHE WHOOPS
395
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:10,960
SHE SCREAMS
396
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,320
SHE SCREAMS
397
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:26,960
CALMING FLUTE PLAYS
398
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,960
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
399
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,960
One, two...
400
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,160
APPLAUSE
401
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,960
You're smashing it, Jack.
402
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,800
Stay down,
I'm gonna give you my elbow.
403
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:48,960
Or do that!
404
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,960
CHEERING
405
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:05,960
SHE SCREAMS
406
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,960
CROWD CHANT
407
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,960
Jesus. That felt good.
408
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,960
SHE SHRIEKS
409
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,480
We're back on earth
and you're ready to wrestle.
410
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,960
Hey, Holly. Wait, what?
411
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,960
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