All language subtitles for Baby Daddy 1x09 - A Wheeler Family Christmas Outing_Subtítulos01.UND

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,637 --> 00:00:09,510 I'M TELLING YOU, EMMA. A LITTLE SUN, 2 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,682 A LITTLE SURF, A LITTLE COLD ONE-- 3 00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:14,085 LIFE DOES NOT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS. 4 00:00:14,085 --> 00:00:15,386 ( door opens ) 5 00:00:15,386 --> 00:00:17,648 HELLO? SORRY I'M LATE. MY FLIP-FLOPS 6 00:00:17,648 --> 00:00:19,350 FLOPPED OUT AROUND 14th. 7 00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,623 - WHAT'S GOING ON? - WELCOME TO WHEELER BEACH, 8 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:25,526 WHERE STRANGERS DON'T ASK YOU TO RUB LOTION ON THEIR BACK. 9 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,058 SNOW CONE? 10 00:00:27,058 --> 00:00:29,760 ONE OF THE BENEFITS OF NEVER DEFROSTING THE FREEZER. 11 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,332 ( chuckles ) LISTEN, 12 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,334 YOUR CURRENT FLAVOR CHOICES INCLUDE 13 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:34,665 BEER 14 00:00:34,665 --> 00:00:35,666 OR KETCHUP. 15 00:00:37,108 --> 00:00:39,210 I RECOMMEND THE COMBO. 16 00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:42,042 OH, I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO THE REAL BEACH. 17 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,076 YOU KNOW, WHERE I GET TO ASK STRANGERS TO RUB LOTION ON MY BACK. 18 00:00:45,076 --> 00:00:47,748 WE WERE. UNFORTUNATELY, I GOT CALLED INTO WORK. 19 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,080 BUT IT'S THE HOTTEST DAY OF THE YEAR. 20 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,722 WHAT KIND OF CRAZY PERSON IS EVEN GONNA BE OUT? 21 00:00:51,722 --> 00:00:54,155 MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY! 22 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,487 ARE YOU ALL READY TO REVIVE 23 00:00:56,487 --> 00:00:58,729 A CHERISHED WHEELER FAMILY TRADITION? 24 00:00:58,729 --> 00:01:01,192 ALL RIGHT! PANCAKE-EATING CONTEST! 25 00:01:02,633 --> 00:01:05,836 NO. THE ANNUAL CHRISTMAS CARD PHOTO. 26 00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:07,368 IT WAS BENJI'S IDEA. 27 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,200 WHOO! FAMILY PHOTO! 28 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,704 THERE REALLY IS JUST NO WAY TO MAKE THAT SOUND EXCITING. 29 00:01:13,704 --> 00:01:16,707 YEAH. BECAUSE MOM USED TO DRESS US UP LIKE REINDEER 30 00:01:16,707 --> 00:01:19,180 AND MAKE US LOOK LIKE IDIOTS. 31 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,511 I KNOW. BUT NOW THAT EMMA'S HERE, 32 00:01:20,511 --> 00:01:21,682 I WANNA DRESS HER UP LIKE A REINDEER 33 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:22,713 AND MAKE HER LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. 34 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,816 AWW, I ALWAYS LOVED THAT CARD. 35 00:01:25,816 --> 00:01:27,658 IT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE SEASON. 36 00:01:27,658 --> 00:01:28,789 THANK YOU, RILEY. 37 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,792 WE PUT IT ON OUR FRIDGE, AND LAUGHED... 38 00:01:33,624 --> 00:01:37,368 IN ADMIRATION WHENEVER WE SAW IT. 39 00:01:37,368 --> 00:01:39,830 WELL, I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE IN IT. 40 00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:41,832 YOU TOO, TUCK. THIS IS ABOUT FAMILY 41 00:01:41,832 --> 00:01:43,334 AND YOU'RE BOTH PART OF EMMA'S FAMILY NOW. 42 00:01:43,334 --> 00:01:44,835 WELL, GOD KNOWS SHE NEEDS A NEW ONE 43 00:01:44,835 --> 00:01:46,677 SINCE YOUR FATHER BLEW UP THE OLD ONE. 44 00:01:46,677 --> 00:01:49,510 OOH, BEER CONE! MM. 45 00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,414 I ACTUALLY JUST FINISHED CUTTING HIS FAT HEAD OUT 46 00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:54,715 OF ALL OF OUR ALBUMS. 47 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:57,488 BUT YOU GUYS GOT DIVORCED OVER THREE YEARS AGO. 48 00:01:57,488 --> 00:01:59,320 YEAH, WELL, I SPENT THE FIRST TWO YEARS TRYING TO RUIN HIS CREDIT. 49 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,821 AND THEN I JUST KIND OF LANDED ON THIS. 50 00:02:02,393 --> 00:02:03,554 HEY, TUCK. 51 00:02:03,554 --> 00:02:04,855 AS THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE WHEELER CLAN, 52 00:02:04,855 --> 00:02:07,298 ANY WAY I CAN TALK YOU INTO TAKING MY MOM'S CAR 53 00:02:07,298 --> 00:02:08,859 OUT TO JERSEY TOMORROW TO PICK UP THE COSTUMES? 54 00:02:08,859 --> 00:02:11,402 OH, YOU KNOW I DON'T REALLY DRIVE. 55 00:02:11,402 --> 00:02:13,564 OH, I DO! I'LL DRIVE. CAN I DO IT? 56 00:02:13,564 --> 00:02:14,865 I'M A NEW MEMBER TOO. 57 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,808 WELL, WHY CAN'T I GO? WHAT'S GOING ON? 58 00:02:17,808 --> 00:02:19,810 WELL, YOU KNOW HOW IT WOULDN'T BE CHRISTMAS 59 00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:22,343 - WITHOUT SANTA? - BUT DAD WAS ALWAYS SANTA! 60 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:24,475 ( muttering ) 61 00:02:24,475 --> 00:02:27,318 AND HIS SLEIGH LANDS TOMORROW MORNING. 62 00:02:27,318 --> 00:02:29,850 YOUR FATHER IS COMING TO TOWN?! 63 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,452 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 64 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:34,625 ( theme music playing ) 65 00:02:34,625 --> 00:02:37,628 ♪ IT'S AMAZING HOW THE UNEXPECTED ♪ 66 00:02:37,628 --> 00:02:40,791 ♪ CAN TAKE YOUR LIFE AND CHANGE DIRECTION. ♪ 67 00:02:44,695 --> 00:02:46,367 OKAY, MOM, DAD WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE. 68 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,369 AND I'M BEGGING YOU-- ONE WEEKEND, 69 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,371 ONE PHOTO, NO FIGHTING. 70 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,643 HEY, I'M NOT THE ONE YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT. 71 00:02:52,643 --> 00:02:54,645 I HAVE MOVED ON. 72 00:02:54,645 --> 00:02:57,308 RAY WHEELER IS JUST A SPEED BUMP IN 73 00:02:57,308 --> 00:02:58,949 MY REARVIEW MIRROR. 74 00:02:58,949 --> 00:03:00,811 I WOULDN'T MIND SLAMMING THE CAR IN REVERSE 75 00:03:00,811 --> 00:03:01,812 - AND BACKING UP-- - MOM! 76 00:03:01,812 --> 00:03:03,784 ALL RIGHT. 77 00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,616 DANNY, BACK ME UP HERE. 78 00:03:05,616 --> 00:03:08,188 DUDE, THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN LIFE YOU JUST DON'T GET BETWEEN. 79 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,521 A BEAR AND ITS CUB, A ZOMBIE AND A BRAIN, 80 00:03:10,521 --> 00:03:11,762 AND MOM AND DAD FIGHTING. 81 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,625 - ( knocks on door ) - THAT'S HIM! 82 00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:15,626 MOM, REMEMBER-- 83 00:03:15,626 --> 00:03:16,627 HOW HE CRUSHED MY SOUL 84 00:03:16,627 --> 00:03:17,798 AND LEFT MY EGO FOR DEAD? 85 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,800 DISTANT MEMORY. OKAY? 86 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,903 - DAD! - BEN BEN! 87 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,275 ( chuckles ) OH! 88 00:03:24,275 --> 00:03:25,906 OH, YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD AS ALWAYS. 89 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,239 - HEY, DAD! - DAN THE MAN! 90 00:03:28,239 --> 00:03:29,910 - THINK FAST! - Both: OH-OH-OH-OH-OH. 91 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,613 ( laughs ) 92 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,785 ( gasps ) THERE SHE IS. 93 00:03:34,785 --> 00:03:37,388 OH! 94 00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:40,291 HI. HI. 95 00:03:40,291 --> 00:03:42,793 I THINK WE KNOW WHERE SHE GETS HER GOOD LOOKS FROM, HUH? 96 00:03:42,793 --> 00:03:43,824 ( clears throat loudly ) 97 00:03:45,996 --> 00:03:48,899 THERE'S A SOUND I HAVEN'T MISSED ONCE. 98 00:03:48,899 --> 00:03:50,961 - GRAB THE BABY. - ( mouths ) 99 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,265 BONNIE. 100 00:03:55,266 --> 00:03:56,607 ( mocking ) RAY. 101 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:08,819 WOW! WOULD YOU LOOK AT US? 102 00:04:08,819 --> 00:04:10,481 JUST ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY. 103 00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:11,922 SO DAD, HOW'S BUSINESS? 104 00:04:11,922 --> 00:04:12,923 GOOD. GOOD. 105 00:04:12,923 --> 00:04:13,884 I GOT THREE HOMES GOING UP. 106 00:04:13,884 --> 00:04:15,756 OH, THAT'S IRONIC. 107 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,289 I THOUGHT YOUR SPECIALTY WAS WRECKING THEM. 108 00:04:18,289 --> 00:04:21,292 - JUST THE OLD BROKEN-DOWN ONES. - ( fake laugh ) 109 00:04:21,292 --> 00:04:23,594 DAD, COME ON. YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GONNA GO THERE. 110 00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:25,936 GO WHERE? MID-LIFE CRISIS ISLAND? 111 00:04:25,936 --> 00:04:29,039 TOO LATE! I HEARD YOU WERE JUST ELECTED MAYOR! 112 00:04:29,039 --> 00:04:31,041 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD TRY? YOGA. 113 00:04:31,041 --> 00:04:32,002 I'VE BEEN DOING IT TWICE A WEEK. 114 00:04:32,002 --> 00:04:33,374 I CAN ACTUALLY TOUCH MY TOES. 115 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,045 OH. WELL, THAT SHOULD MAKE IT EASIER 116 00:04:35,045 --> 00:04:35,976 FOR YOU TO PULL YOUR HEAD OUTTA YOUR-- 117 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,948 MOM! 118 00:04:37,948 --> 00:04:39,650 WHAT? 119 00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:41,482 YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THAT. 120 00:04:42,853 --> 00:04:43,854 ASS! 121 00:04:45,756 --> 00:04:47,988 OKAY? MAYBE YOU DID. JUST-- 122 00:04:50,721 --> 00:04:51,722 Tucker: SERIOUSLY? 123 00:04:51,722 --> 00:04:54,565 WHO HAS 14 BOXES OF CHRISTMAS COSTUMES? 124 00:04:54,565 --> 00:04:56,897 EVEN JESUS WOULD CALL THIS OVERKILL. 125 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,399 OKAY. WELL, THEN MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL 126 00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,730 AND FIND US A GOOD ONE. 127 00:04:59,730 --> 00:05:01,332 I WANNA BE SOMETHING NAUGHTY AND NICE. 128 00:05:01,332 --> 00:05:03,003 ( groaning ) OKAY. 129 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,536 WE'VE GOT A-- A BOX FULL OF RANDOM BEARDS. 130 00:05:06,777 --> 00:05:09,610 SOME ASSORTED ANGEL PARAPHERNALIA. 131 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,782 OH! HALO! 132 00:05:11,782 --> 00:05:12,943 ( chuckling ) 133 00:05:12,943 --> 00:05:14,485 WHAT'S OVER HERE? 134 00:05:14,485 --> 00:05:17,818 OH! AND A BOX FULL OF DANNY'S OLD SCHOOLWORK? 135 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,990 ( chuckles ) SO RILEY... 136 00:05:19,990 --> 00:05:21,952 WHEN I SAID, "HEY, CHECK THE BOXES," 137 00:05:21,952 --> 00:05:24,995 I KINDA MEANT, "HEY, CHECK THE BOXES!" 138 00:05:24,995 --> 00:05:27,598 OH, I'M SORRY. I WAS TOO BUSY IGNORING YOU. 139 00:05:27,598 --> 00:05:29,860 OH, BUT WAIT! 140 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,862 WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? 141 00:05:31,862 --> 00:05:34,535 ( chuckles ) THE JOURNAL OF ONE MR. 142 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,367 DANIEL J. WHEELER. 143 00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:40,010 OH MY GOD! AWW, THAT WAS OUR SENIOR CLASS PROJECT. 144 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,514 SHOULD WE READ IT? IS THAT LIKE TOTALLY WRONG? 145 00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:48,018 OH, I'M SORRY. WHAT WERE YOU SAYING? I WAS READING. 146 00:05:48,018 --> 00:05:50,350 TUCKER, IF YOU'RE GONNA INVADE SOMEONE'S PRIVACY, 147 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,583 AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO READ IT OUT LOUD. 148 00:05:56,387 --> 00:05:57,958 HEY, YOU GOT ROOM FOR ONE MORE OUT HERE? 149 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,530 LOOK, RAY, I'M SORRY. 150 00:05:59,530 --> 00:06:02,362 BUT I JUST CAN'T PRETEND THAT I'M HAPPY TO SEE YOU. 151 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,864 WELL, I COULD. 152 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,995 BUT THEN THEY'D HAVE TO GIVE ME AN AWARD, 153 00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:06,437 AND I'D HAVE TO WRITE A SPEECH 154 00:06:06,437 --> 00:06:07,598 AND YOU KNOW, WHO'S GOT THE TIME?! 155 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,801 I JUST WANNA HAVE A CONVERSATION. 156 00:06:10,801 --> 00:06:11,972 WELL, WHATEVER IT IS, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. 157 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,143 I WANT TO APOLOGIZE. 158 00:06:13,143 --> 00:06:14,144 GO ON. 159 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,748 YOU DESERVED BETTER. 160 00:06:17,748 --> 00:06:19,750 I WAS GOING THROUGH A LOT AND I WAS TAKING IT OUT ON YOU. 161 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,582 AND I'M SORRY. 162 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,053 BUT I GOTTA SAY, SEEING HOW GOOD YOU LOOK-- 163 00:06:23,053 --> 00:06:25,516 IT MAKES ME FEEL A LOT BETTER. 164 00:06:25,516 --> 00:06:28,719 YOU THINK I LOOK GOOD? 165 00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:30,561 YEAH, I THINK YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. 166 00:06:30,561 --> 00:06:34,565 APPARENTLY HAVING ME A THOUSAND MILES AWAY IS GOOD FOR YOU. 167 00:06:34,565 --> 00:06:36,727 I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S THAT. 168 00:06:36,727 --> 00:06:38,729 OR JUST THAT I'VE BEEN DRINKING MORE WATER. 169 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,734 HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND I SPEND A LITTLE QUALITY TIME TOGETHER? 170 00:06:43,734 --> 00:06:45,506 YOU KNOW, WITHOUT THE K-I-Ds. 171 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,112 YOU STILL HAPPY WE STOPPED AT TWO? 172 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,083 ECSTATIC. 173 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,986 BUT THE NEW ONE SHOWS PROMISE. 174 00:06:55,986 --> 00:06:58,489 I'M BABYSITTING HER TONIGHT. 175 00:06:58,489 --> 00:06:59,650 ( Valley girl accent ) AND THEY DIDN'T TELL ME 176 00:06:59,650 --> 00:07:02,092 THAT I COULDN'T INVITE ANY BOYS OVER. 177 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,025 SO DO YOU WANT TO JOIN? 178 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,758 YEAH. YEAH, IT'S A DATE. 179 00:07:07,758 --> 00:07:09,960 I'VE MISSED YOU, BONNIE. 180 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:21,011 SO? HUH? WELL? SEE? 181 00:07:21,011 --> 00:07:22,843 I DON'T KNOW. 182 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,476 CALL ME CRAZY, BUT I THINK THAT YOUR FATHER 183 00:07:25,476 --> 00:07:27,518 IS LOOKING TO MOVE BACK TO BONNIE TOWN! 184 00:07:29,179 --> 00:07:30,551 OH, WAIT WAIT WAIT. 185 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,052 I THINK WE MIGHT FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING. 186 00:07:33,524 --> 00:07:36,687 OH, THERE'S A WHOLE SECTION ABOUT A SECRET CRUSH. 187 00:07:36,687 --> 00:07:38,689 IT LOOKS LIKE THE BIG GUY WAS IN LOVE. 188 00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:40,160 ( chuckles ) OH YEAH-- NO. 189 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,162 TRUST ME, IF THERE'S ANYTHING I KNOW ABOUT DANNY 190 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,534 IT'S THAT HE WAS NEVER IN LOVE. 191 00:07:43,534 --> 00:07:45,536 YEAH, TELL THAT TO GIRL "X." 192 00:07:45,536 --> 00:07:47,538 GIRL "X"? WHO'S GIRL "X"? 193 00:07:47,538 --> 00:07:50,501 OH, I'M SENSING THAT MIGHT BE A CODE. 194 00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:52,042 WHAT? 195 00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:55,205 YEAH, I GUESS HE CHECKED HER OUT EVERY DAY AT FIELD HOCKEY PRACTICE. 196 00:07:55,205 --> 00:07:57,578 THERE IS NO WAY! I PLAYED FIELD HOCKEY. 197 00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,880 WE MADE FUN OF EVERY GIRL ON THAT TEAM. 198 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,552 WAIT. 199 00:08:01,552 --> 00:08:02,953 YOU WERE ON THE FIELD HOCKEY TEAM? 200 00:08:02,953 --> 00:08:03,954 YEAH. 201 00:08:05,255 --> 00:08:07,187 OKAY, KEEP READING. WE GOTTA FIGURE THIS OUT. 202 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,158 OH NO, THAT'S IT. THE END. 203 00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:09,690 WHEN I SAID SECTION I JUST MEANT THOSE TWO LINES. 204 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:10,691 OH, GIVE IT TO ME. 205 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,693 OH! OOPS! 206 00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:16,997 NOW LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. 207 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,999 NOW WE'LL NEVER KNOW. 208 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,677 YOU AND MOM... SO? 209 00:08:26,677 --> 00:08:30,040 HUH? WELL? SEE? 210 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,242 LOOK, I'M NOT GONNA LIE, IT WAS REALLY GOOD TO SEE HER. 211 00:08:32,242 --> 00:08:33,914 LOOK, I DON'T WANNA BE ONE OF THOSE 212 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,746 "MAYBE MOMMY AND DADDY ARE GETTING BACK TOGETHER" 213 00:08:35,746 --> 00:08:37,848 KIDS, BUT... 214 00:08:37,848 --> 00:08:40,050 MAYBE MOMMY AND DADDY ARE GETTING BACK TOGETHER? 215 00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:41,552 IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE THINKING? 216 00:08:41,552 --> 00:08:44,054 I'M SORRY, THAT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 217 00:08:44,054 --> 00:08:46,156 ( sighs ) I'M ACTUALLY SEEING SOMEONE. 218 00:08:46,156 --> 00:08:48,158 NOW? JUST WHEN YOU AND MOM ARE ABOUT 219 00:08:48,158 --> 00:08:49,630 TO GET BACK TOGETHER? 220 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,662 I'M SURE SHE'LL UNDERSTAND. 221 00:08:51,662 --> 00:08:53,834 DAD, NO! YOU CANNOT TELL MOM YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP! 222 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,306 AT LEAST NOT UNTIL AFTER THE CHRISTMAS PHOTO. PLEASE! 223 00:08:56,306 --> 00:08:58,538 SHE WILL NOT BE HAPPY ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS. 224 00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:02,813 YOU KNOW, UNLIKE ME, WHO'S VERY HAPPY FOR YOU. 225 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,616 I'M SORRY. 226 00:09:05,616 --> 00:09:07,247 WHAT'S HER NAME? 227 00:09:08,218 --> 00:09:10,981 HIS NAME IS STEVE. 228 00:09:12,282 --> 00:09:14,825 THAT'S... WEIRD. 229 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,789 'CAUSE YOU SAID STEVE AND THAT'S USUALLY A BOY'S NAME. 230 00:09:18,789 --> 00:09:20,891 ( chuckles ) AND THEN YOU SAID "HIS." 231 00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:28,298 BEN, I'M GAY. 232 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,576 OKAY, WOW! REALLY? 233 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,709 PROBABLY COULD HAVE EASED INTO THAT A LITTLE MORE. 234 00:09:38,709 --> 00:09:41,912 I'M SORRY. I SAW AN OPENING AND I JUST KIND OF WENT FOR IT. 235 00:09:41,912 --> 00:09:45,085 ARE YOU SURE? 236 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,758 SURE ENOUGH THAT I'M LIVING WITH A GUY NAMED STEVE. 237 00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:49,620 BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU AND MOM? 238 00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,261 BEN, I LOVED YOUR MOM. 239 00:09:51,261 --> 00:09:53,624 BEING WITH HER WAS LIKE DRIVING A GREAT CAR. 240 00:09:53,624 --> 00:09:56,266 AND THEN ONE DAY THAT CAR THROWS YOUR SUITCASE OUT ON THE FRONT LAWN, 241 00:09:56,266 --> 00:09:58,629 SO YOU GET ON A PLANE, AND YOU REALIZE... 242 00:09:58,629 --> 00:10:00,631 HOLY COW! 243 00:10:00,631 --> 00:10:02,602 I'M A PILOT. 244 00:10:05,335 --> 00:10:09,209 ALONG WITH YOUR DELIVERY, YOU MIGHT WANNA WORK ON YOUR ANALOGIES. 245 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,211 THEY SAY THE FIRST TIME YOU TALK TO SOMEONE IS THE HARDEST, 246 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,213 SO WHEN I TALK TO YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR BROTHER, I'M SURE-- 247 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,384 OH, NO NO NO NO NO! 248 00:10:14,384 --> 00:10:16,046 YOU CANNOT TELL MOM OR DANNY. 249 00:10:16,046 --> 00:10:19,389 AT LEAST NOT NOW. I'VE GOT A HAPPY FAMILY PHOTO TO TAKE, 250 00:10:19,389 --> 00:10:22,753 AND JUST BECAUSE GAY MEANS HAPPY, IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY WILL BE. 251 00:10:22,753 --> 00:10:24,394 I JUST HATE TO BE DISHONEST. 252 00:10:24,394 --> 00:10:26,827 DAD, IT'S ONLY DISHONEST IF SOMEONE ASKS. 253 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:29,299 AND TRUST ME, NO ONE IS GONNA ASK. 254 00:10:29,299 --> 00:10:31,962 ASK WHAT? 255 00:10:31,962 --> 00:10:34,164 HOW QUICKLY WE CAN CHANGE THE SUBJECT? 256 00:10:34,164 --> 00:10:37,037 I HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S THINKING ABOUT COMING OUT. 257 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:39,039 TO VISIT? 258 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,340 OF THE CLOSET. 259 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,212 WHY IS HE IN-- 260 00:10:42,212 --> 00:10:44,414 OH... THAT CLOSET. GOT IT! 261 00:10:44,414 --> 00:10:47,417 BUT HE'S NOT READY TO COME OUT YET. 262 00:10:47,417 --> 00:10:48,879 ACTUALLY, I THINK HE IS. 263 00:10:48,879 --> 00:10:50,781 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? IF HE'S GAY, HE'S GAY. 264 00:10:50,781 --> 00:10:53,283 IT JUST MEANS MORE LADIES FOR ME. 265 00:10:53,283 --> 00:10:55,185 SEE? TOTALLY ON BOARD. 266 00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:56,326 BUT IF YOUR FRIEND'S GAY TODAY, 267 00:10:56,326 --> 00:10:58,188 HE'LL PROBABLY STILL BE GAY TOMORROW. 268 00:10:58,188 --> 00:11:00,360 SAY, AFTER 5:00? 269 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,362 I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE HOW THAT WORKS, 270 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,334 BUT I THINK HE'S RIGHT. 271 00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:06,036 ALL RIGHT, IT'S COOL. HE'S WAITED THIS LONG, 272 00:11:06,036 --> 00:11:07,667 I'M SURE HE CAN WAIT ANOTHER DAY. 273 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,839 THANK YOU. 274 00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:17,447 I'M PRETTY I KNOW WHO YOUR FRIEND IS. 275 00:11:17,447 --> 00:11:18,809 YOU DO? 276 00:11:20,150 --> 00:11:21,982 AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT? 277 00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,153 YEAH, I'M OKAY. 278 00:11:23,153 --> 00:11:24,985 OH, THAT'S GREAT. 279 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,316 THAT IS SO GREAT. 280 00:11:26,316 --> 00:11:27,988 ( cellphone vibrating ) 281 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,319 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA TAKE THIS. 282 00:11:29,319 --> 00:11:31,691 LET'S JUST KEEP THIS BETWEEN US FOR NOW. 283 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,894 BEN'S WORRIED IF YOUR MOTHER FINDS OUT SHE'S GONNA FREAK. 284 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,896 - TOTALLY. IT'S OUR SECRET. - THANK YOU. 285 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,303 HEY, BRO, JUST KNOW... 286 00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,305 I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. 287 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,883 THANKS. 288 00:11:52,883 --> 00:11:55,215 BUT YOU'RE STILL GONNA HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS BEER. 289 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,719 HEY, WHEELER! YOU HOME? 290 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,752 I GOT A COUPLE ♪ QUESTIONS. ♪ 291 00:12:01,752 --> 00:12:03,053 OH, AND I'VE GOT SOME ANSWERS. 292 00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:04,895 BOXES IN THE BACK. RILEY OUT THE DOOR. 293 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,399 WOW, DON'T THINK I'M GONNA MAKE A HABIT OF THIS, 294 00:12:09,399 --> 00:12:11,061 BUT YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 295 00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:13,303 THANKS. YOU LOOK SWEATY. 296 00:12:14,364 --> 00:12:15,405 LISTEN, RILEY, 297 00:12:15,405 --> 00:12:18,238 I NEED THE ADVICE OF A GIRLFRIEND. 298 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,410 AND, WELL, YOU'RE HERE, 299 00:12:20,410 --> 00:12:22,312 SO... 300 00:12:22,312 --> 00:12:26,376 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF RAY AND I GOT BACK TOGETHER? 301 00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:29,049 WELL, IF YOU'RE REALLY ASKING MY ADVICE... 302 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:31,451 I THINK IT'S A TRULY HORRIBLE IDEA. 303 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,824 SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS 304 00:12:33,824 --> 00:12:36,156 I SHOULD LIQUOR HIM UP, AND THEN BREAK OUT 305 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,458 A FEW OF MY SEDUCTIVE CHARMS. 306 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,061 YEAH, THAT'S ACTUALLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WAS SAYING. 307 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,492 I KNOW, BUT I DIDN'T LIKE WHAT YOU SAID. 308 00:12:42,492 --> 00:12:44,294 - ( mouths ) - ( knocks on door ) 309 00:12:45,796 --> 00:12:46,867 GRANDPA REPORTING FOR DUTY. 310 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,198 HI. 311 00:12:48,198 --> 00:12:50,370 - FATPANTS?! - RIGHT?! 312 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,172 OH MY GOD! LOOK AT YOU! 313 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,173 WHO KNEW THAT 314 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:56,546 THIS WAS HIDDEN INSIDE ALL THAT? 315 00:12:56,546 --> 00:12:58,949 REALLY NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, MR. WHEELER. 316 00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:01,111 YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. 317 00:13:01,111 --> 00:13:03,783 BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. 318 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,957 ODDLY MADE FOR EACH OTHER. 319 00:13:06,957 --> 00:13:08,018 ( both laughing ) 320 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,791 WAIT! YOU READ MY JOURNAL? 321 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,863 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! 322 00:13:12,863 --> 00:13:15,525 WHAT? STAY WITH ME. OKAY? 323 00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:17,267 RILEY KNOWS ABOUT GIRL "X." 324 00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:19,369 YOU BROKE MY CODE? 325 00:13:19,369 --> 00:13:22,032 NO, I CALLED UP MY THREE-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW 326 00:13:22,032 --> 00:13:24,034 - AND HE BROKE IT. - ( sighs ) 327 00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:25,505 BUT RILEY HAS NOT, OKAY? 328 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,507 SO YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF TWO OPTIONS: 329 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,540 ONE, FINALLY MAN UP AND ADMIT THAT YOU'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HER 330 00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:31,511 AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. 331 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:33,543 OR, YOU CAN-- 332 00:13:33,543 --> 00:13:34,514 OR YOU CAN JUST HIDE. 333 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:37,347 WHERE DID YOU G-- OH! 334 00:13:37,347 --> 00:13:38,849 HI. 335 00:13:38,849 --> 00:13:40,891 DO YOU WHO YOUR BROTHER WAS IN LOVE WITH IN HIGH SCHOOL? 336 00:13:40,891 --> 00:13:43,393 YEAH. HIMSELF. 337 00:13:44,594 --> 00:13:46,857 I THINK THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER. 338 00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:48,198 WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS? 339 00:13:48,198 --> 00:13:50,160 I'M GONNA GIVE HIM SUCH GRIEF. 340 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,532 YEAH, I THINK HE'S OVER THERE WITH MY-- 341 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,364 WHERE'S MY DAD? 342 00:13:54,364 --> 00:13:58,838 ♪ I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW. ♪ 343 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,311 GUARANTEE I KNOW A WHOLE LOT MORE. 344 00:14:01,311 --> 00:14:03,843 DO YOU KNOW YOUR FOLKS MIGHT BE GETTING BACK TOGETHER? 345 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:08,578 ALREADY BEEN DOWN THAT PATH, AND IT DOES NOT LEAD TO HAPPINESS AND RAINBOWS. 346 00:14:08,578 --> 00:14:10,080 WELL, MAYBE A RAINBOW. 347 00:14:12,582 --> 00:14:14,084 WELL, THEN SOMEONE SHOULD PROBABLY TELL YOUR MOM 348 00:14:14,084 --> 00:14:17,157 BECAUSE SHE IS ABOUT TO LAUNCH A FULL-ON ASSAULT. 349 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,859 - RIGHT NOW? - YEAH. 350 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,861 I GOTTA GO! HEY, COVER FOR ME! 351 00:14:23,533 --> 00:14:25,535 WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE STOLE 352 00:14:25,535 --> 00:14:27,397 ALL THE NEIGHBORS' GARDEN GNOMES? 353 00:14:27,397 --> 00:14:30,240 ( laughing ) AND THEN THAT CRAZY JOHNNIE HASKELL 354 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,301 FROM ACROSS THE STREET 355 00:14:31,301 --> 00:14:33,443 DEMANDED TO SEARCH OUR GARAGE. 356 00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:34,644 ( laughing ) THAT'S RIGHT. 357 00:14:34,644 --> 00:14:36,947 OH MY GOSH, HOW DID WE GET OURSELVES OUT OF THAT? 358 00:14:36,947 --> 00:14:39,379 WE BLAMED THE BOYS AND GROUNDED THEM FOR A WEEK. 359 00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:43,313 THOSE KIDS DO COME IN HANDY SOMETIMES. 360 00:14:43,313 --> 00:14:44,884 OH, AND DO YOU REMEMBER 361 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:48,888 HOW JOHNNIE ALWAYS USED TO WORK OUT IN HIS YARD SHIRTLESS? 362 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,190 ( chortling ) YEAH. 363 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,592 ( dreamily ) YEAH, I REMEMBER. 364 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,965 ( sighs ) 365 00:14:54,965 --> 00:14:56,666 ARE YOU OKAY? 366 00:14:56,666 --> 00:14:58,168 YEAH, I'M GREAT. I JUST FEEL 367 00:14:58,168 --> 00:14:59,629 LIKE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 368 00:14:59,629 --> 00:15:02,102 RAY, IT'S YOUR BONBON. 369 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,433 YOU CAN TELL ME ANYTHING. 370 00:15:03,433 --> 00:15:05,275 I WAS GONNA WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE PICTURE TOMORROW 371 00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:07,037 'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT IT TO GET TOO AWKWARD, BUT-- 372 00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:09,439 WELL, I THINK YOU'LL FIND THAT I AM... 373 00:15:09,439 --> 00:15:11,311 FAIRLY RECEPTIVE. 374 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,015 - BONNIE. - MM-HMM. 375 00:15:17,988 --> 00:15:20,020 I'M SORRY. I JUST CAN'T. 376 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:25,125 WELL, MAYBE YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE INSPIRATION. 377 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,396 WELCOME TO BONNIE TOWN! 378 00:15:26,396 --> 00:15:27,557 - BONNIE! - ( screams ) 379 00:15:27,557 --> 00:15:29,259 ( screams ) OH GOD! 380 00:15:29,259 --> 00:15:30,460 OH... 381 00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:31,601 OH! OH! 382 00:15:31,601 --> 00:15:34,634 THIS IS GONNA COST SO MUCH IN THERAPY. 383 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:35,635 OH GOD! 384 00:15:40,070 --> 00:15:42,442 AND THAT IS HOW YOU COOL OFF 385 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,574 DURING A HEAT WAVE. 386 00:15:44,574 --> 00:15:46,476 HONESTLY, BEN, DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK? 387 00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:48,948 SORRY I KEEP FORGETTING IT'S MY APARTMENT! 388 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,252 WELL, OKAY, BUT IF YOU COULD JUST GRAB WHATEVER IT IS YOU NEEDED, AND-- 389 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,254 SO WHAT'S THE PLAN? HIDE FROM HER 390 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,256 - FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? - WELL, HOW HARD CAN IT BE? 391 00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:57,587 - IT'S NOT LIKE SHE COMES OVER THAT MUCH. - ( cellphone vibrating ) 392 00:15:57,587 --> 00:16:00,430 - RILEY'S COMING OVER. - QUICK! BACK TO THE BAR! 393 00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:02,432 HEY, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 394 00:16:02,432 --> 00:16:03,733 WHEELER MEN BONDING AT THE BAR. 395 00:16:03,733 --> 00:16:05,635 WHEELER WOMEN BONDING AT THE APARTMENT-- LET'S GO, DAD! 396 00:16:05,635 --> 00:16:07,197 NOTHING LIKE A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS. 397 00:16:07,197 --> 00:16:08,568 - AND BY BOYS, I MEAN-- - SHE'S GOT IT, DAD, YEP! 398 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,575 I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE YOU ARE, 399 00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,548 BUT YOU'RE DEFINITELY THE CUTEST REINDEER OF THEM ALL. 400 00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:20,580 WHEN DID I BECOME ONE OF THOSE PARENTS? 401 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,112 ( scoffs ) 402 00:16:22,112 --> 00:16:25,215 PROBABLY TWO SECONDS AFTER I SAW YOU IN THOSE LITTLE ANTLERS. 403 00:16:25,215 --> 00:16:28,218 OKAY, SANTA BABY, LET'S MOVE IT ALONG. 404 00:16:28,218 --> 00:16:29,519 CHRISTMAS IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER 405 00:16:29,519 --> 00:16:31,761 AND SO IS MY NEXT BREAK. 406 00:16:31,761 --> 00:16:34,064 YEAH, WE'LL JUST BE ANOTHER MINUTE. 407 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:37,767 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 408 00:16:37,767 --> 00:16:39,699 DOES YOUR DAD LOOK LIKE A WISE MAN? 409 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,072 WISER THAN YOU DID LAST NIGHT. 410 00:16:42,072 --> 00:16:45,075 YEAH, THAT PROBABLY WASN'T THE BEST TIME TO COME OUT TO YOUR MOM. 411 00:16:45,075 --> 00:16:46,406 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'LL DO IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY 412 00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,038 AND JUST BLURT IT OUT AT THANKSGIVING. 413 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,314 AND THE CHRISTMAS ANGEL IS UPON US. 414 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,615 ( giggling ) 415 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,318 HEY, MAYBE LATER WE CAN DITCH THE FAT MAN 416 00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,420 AND YOU CAN TRY TO TARNISH MY HALO. 417 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,592 OKAY, MOM. 418 00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:03,623 - YOU'LL BE STANDING OVER HERE. - I KNOW, BUT I WAS-- 419 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,325 - W-WAY-- WAY OVER HERE. - OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 420 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,327 OKAY, THIS ISN'T A SOCIAL, PEOPLE. 421 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,259 LET'S SHAKE OUR TINSEL MAKERS 422 00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:10,600 AND GET A MOVE ON. 423 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,463 OKAY, GUYS, COME ON! LET'S GO! 424 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,107 WELL, PUT A PLAID SKIRT ON THIS 425 00:17:17,107 --> 00:17:18,668 AND IT'S MY SENIOR CLASS PICTURE. 426 00:17:19,569 --> 00:17:21,571 DANNY, COME ON. 427 00:17:21,571 --> 00:17:23,743 WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME WHO YOUR SECRET CRUSH WAS? 428 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,245 I THINK YOU'RE KINDA MISSING THE POINT 429 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,746 OF IT BEING A SECRET. 430 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,749 UM, IT'S ME, RILEY. YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING. 431 00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,551 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT? 432 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:35,585 I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT. 433 00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:36,756 IT WAS JUST A LONG TIME AGO 434 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,057 AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 435 00:17:39,589 --> 00:17:41,591 ARE MY PRESENTS ON THE RIGHT FEET? 436 00:17:41,591 --> 00:17:43,593 LET ME SEE. 437 00:17:43,593 --> 00:17:45,165 ( groans ) DAMN IT! 438 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,696 I THINK I JUST POPPED A GUMDROP. 439 00:17:54,744 --> 00:17:57,747 OKAY. IT'S OFFICIAL. 440 00:17:57,747 --> 00:18:01,111 I CAN'T POSSIBLY BE MORE HUMILIATED. 441 00:18:01,111 --> 00:18:02,452 DON'T FORGET YOUR HAT! 442 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,419 OH, AND I STAND CORRECTED. 443 00:18:09,419 --> 00:18:11,761 DANNY'S OLD ELF COSTUME. 444 00:18:11,761 --> 00:18:14,724 AWW, HE HASN'T FIT INTO THAT SINCE HE WAS FOUR. 445 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,667 ( jingle bells ringing ) 446 00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:20,270 HEAR THOSE BELLS? ( weak chuckle ) 447 00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:21,731 YEAH, THAT'S THE LAST SOUND YOU'LL HEAR 448 00:18:21,731 --> 00:18:23,633 BEFORE YOU'RE CLUBBED TO DEATH BY A CANDY CANE. 449 00:18:25,275 --> 00:18:27,277 CAN WE PLEASE JUST LET IT GO? 450 00:18:27,277 --> 00:18:29,108 YOU KNOW I'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 451 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,281 OKAY, VON TRAPPS. 452 00:18:31,281 --> 00:18:33,613 - FINALLY ALL HERE? - UH, YEAH YEAH. JUST, UH-- 453 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,185 - GREAT. - YOU KNOW, WE NEVER GOT 454 00:18:35,185 --> 00:18:36,816 TO FINISH WHAT WE STARTED LAST NIGHT. 455 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:37,817 OH! UH, BEN? 456 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,649 - MOM, HANDS TO YOURSELF, OKAY? - ( mocking ) OKAY. 457 00:18:41,651 --> 00:18:43,653 IF I COULD JUST GET MY LITTLE ELF TO SIT DOWN. 458 00:18:43,653 --> 00:18:44,654 - OH, OKAY. YEAH. - ( Riley laughs ) 459 00:18:44,654 --> 00:18:45,755 YEAH, I'M JUST SAYING, OKAY? 460 00:18:45,755 --> 00:18:47,757 I HAVE SEEN 150 CHRISTMAS MOVIES, 461 00:18:47,757 --> 00:18:49,599 AND I AIN'T NEVER SEEN A BLACK ELF! 462 00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,732 OKAY, I THINK WE'RE READY. 463 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:55,165 OKAY. SO WHEN I YELL "VIXEN"... 464 00:18:55,165 --> 00:18:57,337 FINE. SO SHE WAS ON THE FIELD HOCKEY TEAM, 465 00:18:57,337 --> 00:19:00,670 WE OBVIOUSLY HAD THE SAME MATH CLASS, AND-- 466 00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:04,544 OH MY GOD. I KNOW WHO IT IS. 467 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:05,775 ( gasps ) DANNY... 468 00:19:05,775 --> 00:19:07,417 Photographer: ONE, TWO-- 469 00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:08,418 BEN'S GAY! 470 00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:10,220 - WHAT?! - BEN?! 471 00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:11,451 SERIOUSLY?! 472 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:12,552 I'M NOT GAY! 473 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:13,853 DUDE, IT'S OKAY. 474 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,786 I GUESS I'M NOT THAT SURPRISED. 475 00:19:17,927 --> 00:19:20,290 IT DOES EXPLAIN THE WHOLE TUCKER THING. 476 00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:21,761 WAIT! HOLD UP! 477 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:24,634 WAIT, YOU THINK I'M GAY?! 478 00:19:24,634 --> 00:19:26,636 YO, HOW COULD YOU LOOK AT ME AND SAY THAT? 479 00:19:28,898 --> 00:19:31,901 OKAY, FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT GAY. 480 00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:33,443 DANNY, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? 481 00:19:33,443 --> 00:19:35,905 COME ON! "YOUR FRIEND"? 482 00:19:35,905 --> 00:19:37,307 DAD TOLD ME. 483 00:19:37,307 --> 00:19:39,479 YOU TOLD YOUR FATHER BEFORE YOU TOLD ME?! 484 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:40,780 I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE ANYTHING. 485 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:41,811 BECAUSE HE'S AFRAID TO COME OUT. 486 00:19:41,811 --> 00:19:43,813 - I'M NOT COMING OUT! - SEE? 487 00:19:43,813 --> 00:19:45,355 - I'M GAY! - DAD. 488 00:19:45,355 --> 00:19:46,686 - MR. WHEELER? - RAY, YOU DON'T HAVE 489 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,688 - TO COVER FOR HIM. - I'M NOT COVERING FOR HIM. 490 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,919 I'M TELLING THE TRUTH. 491 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,362 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 492 00:19:52,362 --> 00:19:54,193 YES! 493 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,596 YOU'RE GAY?! 494 00:19:56,596 --> 00:20:00,800 ANY CHANCE WE COULD PUT A PIN IN THIS UNTIL AFTER WE TAKE THE PHOTO? 495 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,302 WOW! 496 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:05,305 YOU THINK YOU COULD HAVE EASED INTO THAT A LITTLE MORE? 497 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,937 YEAH, I HAVE BEEN TOLD I NEED TO WORK ON MY DELIVERY. 498 00:20:09,579 --> 00:20:11,581 WELL, HEARING YOU SAY THAT JUST 499 00:20:11,581 --> 00:20:14,844 CONFIRMS... EVERYTHING I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN. 500 00:20:14,844 --> 00:20:16,646 YOU KNEW DAD WAS GAY? 501 00:20:16,646 --> 00:20:18,217 NO. 502 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,350 NOTHING WAS MY FAULT! 503 00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:21,991 AH! OH, WOW. 504 00:20:21,991 --> 00:20:24,694 IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE RIGHT. 505 00:20:24,694 --> 00:20:26,756 SO DOES THIS MEAN THAT WE'RE ACTUALLY OKAY? 506 00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:29,459 UH, I GUESS. 507 00:20:29,459 --> 00:20:31,761 I JUST WISH YOU WOULD HAVE BLURTED IT OUT AT THANKSGIVING 508 00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:33,533 LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. 509 00:20:34,564 --> 00:20:35,665 ( mouths ) 510 00:20:35,665 --> 00:20:37,507 OKAY, AND WE'RE BACK. 511 00:20:37,507 --> 00:20:39,509 OKAY, EVERYBODY TOGETHER. 512 00:20:39,509 --> 00:20:40,970 OKAY, SORRY ABOUT THAT. 513 00:20:40,970 --> 00:20:42,872 THOUGH I'M GUESSING THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN EVERY DAY. 514 00:20:42,872 --> 00:20:45,014 YOU'D BE SURPRISED. 515 00:20:45,014 --> 00:20:46,916 OKAY, ON THREE. 516 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:48,748 ONE, TWO... 517 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,650 IT WAS THAT EXCHANGE STUDENT, WASN'T IT? 518 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,651 THREE! 519 00:20:58,588 --> 00:21:00,930 DEAR DIARY, IT'S ME AGAIN. 520 00:21:00,930 --> 00:21:02,932 TODAY WAS EPIC! 521 00:21:02,932 --> 00:21:04,694 FIRST OF ALL, GIRL "X" HAS NO IDEA 522 00:21:04,694 --> 00:21:06,296 THAT SHE'S GIRL "X." 523 00:21:06,296 --> 00:21:09,299 BUT FOR SAFETY'S SAKE, WE'LL CALL HER GIRL "Y." 524 00:21:09,299 --> 00:21:12,502 OH! BUT I DIDN'T TELL YOU THE BIGGEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY. 525 00:21:12,502 --> 00:21:13,843 I JUST FOUND OUT 526 00:21:13,843 --> 00:21:16,376 THAT MY FAVORITE CHINESE RESTAURANT DELIVERS! 527 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:17,847 I NO LONGER HAVE TO TAKE TWO SUBWAYS 528 00:21:17,847 --> 00:21:19,679 TO GET THOSE AMAZING EGGROLLS. 529 00:21:21,311 --> 00:21:22,952 OH! 530 00:21:22,952 --> 00:21:24,954 MY DAD'S GAY AND BEN ISN'T. 531 00:21:27,457 --> 00:21:28,057 DANNY. 38163

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