All language subtitles for Baby Daddy 1x08 - The Daddy Whisperer_Subtítulos01.UND

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,775 STOP. GIVE ME THAT. 2 00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:09,777 I GOT IT! QUICK YAPPIN' AT ME. 3 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,379 PLAY NICE, DANNY. 4 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,381 OR AT LEAST GET HIM A STEPLADDER. 5 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,554 OKAY, PEOPLE. I NEED A CLEAN SHIRT AND A CLEAN BABY-- 6 00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,423 NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER. 7 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,558 EMMA, ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR FIRST PLAYDATE? 8 00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:27,128 OKAY, NOW REMEMBER, EMMA, WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT. 9 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,529 JUST BECAUSE HE BUYS YOU FORMULA 10 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,564 DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED TO SHARE YOUR TOYS. 11 00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,568 SHE'S ACTUALLY PRETTY SMITTEN WITH HER NEW LITTLE FRIEND JORDAN. 12 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,437 WELL, SHE'S ALSO HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER THUMB, 13 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,472 SO I WOULDN'T BE PICKING OUT CHINA JUST YET. 14 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,209 HONEY, I THINK IT'S SO CUTE THAT YOU 15 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,843 JOINED A MOMMY AND ME CLASS. 16 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,445 ROOM FULL OF HOT MOMMIES? 17 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,546 - YEAH, HE'S SELFLESS. - ( scoffs ) 18 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,383 THIS IS ABOUT EMMA, OKAY? 19 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,485 JORDAN'S MOM ISABELLE IS AMAZING. 20 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:54,622 PEOPLE ACTUALLY CALL HER THE "MOMMY WHISPERER." 21 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,224 FUNNY. THAT USED TO BE 22 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:57,658 YOUR FATHER'S NICKNAME. 23 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,428 SHE RUNS THE WHOLE PROGRAM. 24 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:02,296 THERE'S A HUGE WAITING LIST FOR HER CLASS. 25 00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:05,499 BUT, USING A LITTLE OF THE PATENTED WHEELER CHARM, 26 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,635 EMMA AND I HAVE JUMPED TO THE FRONT OF THE LIST. 27 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,870 WE PASS OUR PLAYDATE AUDITION TODAY, AND WE'RE IN. 28 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,572 - ( music from TV playing ) - WE'RE IN! YES! 29 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,241 - FINALLY! - WHOO! YES! 30 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:14,408 TODAY IS GONNA BE ALL ABOUT YELLING, 31 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,644 SWEARING AND FULL-ON BODY BLOWS. 32 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,212 ( mouths ) 33 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:20,248 SOUNDS LIKE MY WEDDING NIGHT. 34 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,518 BOXING. IT'S THE PAY-PER-VIEW FIGHT 35 00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:25,353 - OF THE DECADE. - YUP. 36 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:28,156 AND WATCHING IT IS HOW WE STAY MANLY. 37 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,157 OHH. 38 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:31,359 YEAH, OKAY, THAT SHOULD DO IT. 39 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,263 OH! IT'S OKAY, EMMA. HERE WE GO. 40 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,364 THREE-SECOND RULE. 41 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,366 NO! NO-SECOND RULE. 42 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:39,500 IZZY SAID THAT'S A MYTH. 43 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,568 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT KIND OF GERMS 44 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,435 YOU'RE EXPOSING HER TO? 45 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,137 HONEY, WHEN I WAS RAISING YOU BOYS, 46 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:45,273 IT WAS A THREE-DAY RULE. 47 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,675 IF YOU KEPT IT DOWN, IT WAS SAFE. 48 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,710 IF YOU DIDN'T-- WELL, THAT'S WHY WE HAD A DOG. 49 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,347 WELL, IZZY HAS THIS SIMPLE LIST OF RULES 50 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,548 THAT EVERY PARENT NEEDS TO FOLLOW. 51 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,584 IT'S AMAZING HOW MUCH I DON'T KNOW. 52 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,286 WE'RE ALL AMAZED AT THAT, HONEY. 53 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,155 AND I'VE GOT A LIST TOO. 54 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:04,158 CHIPS, BEER, SALSA, GUACAMOLE 55 00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:05,893 - AND YOU BE HOME BY 8:00. - ( mouths ) 56 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,229 PLEASE. I'M SO ON IT. 57 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,497 AND I'M SO LATE. 58 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:10,698 THE FIRST THING ON IZZY'S LIST: 59 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,366 BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING. 60 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,204 THE SECOND THING ON THE LIST: 61 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,571 DON'T FORGET THE BABY. 62 00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,940 ( theme music playing ) 63 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,411 * IT'S AMAZING HOW THE UNEXPECTED * 64 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:26,514 * CAN TAKE YOUR LIFE AND CHANGE DIRECTIONS. * 65 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,322 SO MAYBE NOT THE BEST DAY FOR THE PARK. 66 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,923 - IF YOU NEED TO DRY OFF-- - WE'RE GOOD. 67 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:39,227 RAIN OR SHINE, WE'RE ALWAYS PREPARED. 68 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,662 MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE, WHILE WE RECYCLE OUR RAINCOATS. 69 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,633 IT SMELLS VERY... 70 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,235 ( inhales ) 71 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,736 MALE. 72 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,339 ON BEHALF OF THE THREE MEN WHO LIVE HERE, 73 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,373 THANK YOU. 74 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,742 LOOK, WE'RE SORTA NEW 75 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,344 ON THE WHOLE BABY-DATING SCENE, 76 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,212 SO I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT COMES NEXT. 77 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,613 A LITTLE PEEK-A-BOO. 78 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,649 MAYBE SOME SPIN-THE-BOTTLE. 79 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,418 THAT'S HILARIOUS. 80 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,354 BUT IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR JORDAN'S NAP 81 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,722 AND I CAN'T IMAGINE PUTTING HIM DOWN 82 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,224 ANYWHERE HERE, 83 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,260 SO WE SHOULD... 84 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,297 PROBABLY BE GOING. 85 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,565 NO NO NO NO. PLEASE DON'T. 86 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:18,766 I KNOW WE'RE PROBABLY NOT UP 87 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:19,967 TO YOUR USUAL STANDARDS. 88 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,703 AND THE PLACE COULD USE A TOUCH MORE... 89 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,438 - BABY-PROOFING. - "A TOUCH?" 90 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,374 SHE SAYS, LOOKING AT A GIANT DARTBOARD 91 00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,409 AND 75 CHOKING HAZARDS. 92 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,512 BEN, I'M SORRY. I JUST DON'T KNOW 93 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,581 IF YOU'RE TAKING YOUR ROLE AS A PARENT SERIOUSLY ENOUGH. 94 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,716 AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO BE IN YOUR CLASS. 95 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,719 WE'RE TIRED OF BEING PATHETIC "BEFORES." 96 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,754 ( exaggerated sigh ) 97 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,495 WE WANNA BE HAPPY "AFTERS." 98 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,298 ( laughs ) 99 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,733 WE NEED TO BE IZZIED. 100 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,735 YAY, IZZY! 101 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,637 ( giggles ) 102 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,607 I GUESS I COULD DO A PRIVATE HOME INTENSIVE. 103 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,377 A ONE-ON-ONE WHERE WE GO THROUGH EVERYTHING IN THE PLACE. 104 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:04,778 YES! THANK YOU. 105 00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,814 MAYBE WE COULD DO IT OVER DINNER. 106 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:07,648 MY MOM'S GOT JORDAN TONIGHT, 107 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,817 WHICH JUST MEANS HE'LL PROBABLY KNOW 108 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,852 HOW TO MIX A MARTINI BEFORE HE'S TWO. 109 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,523 TONIGHT? AS IN THIS EVENING? 110 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:16,590 HOURS FROM NOW? 111 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:17,825 IT'S REALLY THE ONLY TIME I HAVE. 112 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,327 AND THERE'S NO WAY THAT I COULD LET 113 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,461 THE TWO OF YOU INTO MY CLASS. 114 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:21,562 THEN TONIGHT IT IS! 115 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,696 BUT I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW, 116 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,298 I'M A REALLY FAST LEARNER, 117 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,699 SO GET READY TO PUT THE BABY PEDAL 118 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,801 TO THE DADDY METAL. ( chuckles ) 119 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,839 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS. 120 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,709 BEN, HONEY, THERE IS SUCH A THING AS BEING 121 00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:36,710 TOO PROTECTIVE. 122 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,747 DID I PICK YOU UP EVERY TIME YOU CRIED? NO. 123 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,049 DID I FEED YOU EVERY TIME YOU WERE HUNGRY? 124 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,283 NO. 125 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,787 DID I FIX THOSE FRAYED WIRES 126 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,055 BEHIND THE TV? I MEAN, WHAT AM I? 127 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,524 AN ELECTRICIAN? 128 00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:53,060 COME ON, BEN, YOU TURNED OUT-- 129 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,895 WELL, YOU ARE STILL HERE. 130 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,866 I FEEL SO CODDLED. 131 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,601 WELL, YOU SHOULD, SINCE I'M MAKING DINNER 132 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,902 FOR YOU AND LADY GOO-GOO. 133 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,772 HEY, THAT'S ORGANIC CHICKEN, RIGHT? 134 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,340 SHE ONLY EATS ORGANIC. 135 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:07,741 YEAH, RIGHT. LIKE I'M GOING TO SPEND 136 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,610 40 BUCKS ON A BREAST OF CHICKEN. 137 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,645 I DON'T SPEND THAT MUCH PER CUP ON A BRA. 138 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,082 MOM! THIS IS IMPORTANT. 139 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,817 HONEY, YOUR BROTHER IS 6'5" 140 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,752 AND HE GREW UP EATING DIRT. 141 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,087 ( door opens ) 142 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,555 I DID IT! 143 00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:22,756 I GOT THE JOB. 144 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,892 YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE NEWEST EMPLOYEE 145 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,894 OF BENDER, BOWMAN, BROCKMAN 146 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,797 AND SOME GUY WHOSE NAME I CAN'T PRONOUNCE. 147 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,400 - CONGRATULATIONS. - THANK YOU. 148 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:36,770 WOW. THAT'S A REALLY LONG NAME FOR A STRIP CLUB. 149 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:37,905 IT'S A LAW FIRM 150 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,773 AND I START MY INTERNSHIP ON MONDAY. 151 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,875 WELL, THEN YOU BETTER FIND THE REST OF THAT SKIRT 152 00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,544 BEFORE THEN BECAUSE 153 00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,913 I CAN KINDA SEE YOUR TONSILS. 154 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,383 THIS IS THE MOST CONSERVATIVE THING I HAVE. 155 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,519 WELL, EMMA AND I ARE HEADING TO THE OUTLET MALL 156 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:52,786 FOR THEIR MONTHLY MADNESS SALE. 157 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,389 IT'S 40% OFF OF 40% OFF. 158 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,425 WHICH I THINK MEANS, THEY PAY YOU. 159 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,929 WELL, I ACTUALLY COULD USE A COUPLE OF NEW SUITS. 160 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,831 HERE'S SOMETHING I'M GONNA REGRET. 161 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,798 MRS. WHEELER, 162 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,467 WILL YOU TAKE ME SHOPPING? 163 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,135 ABSOLUTELY. I CAN ALWAYS USE 164 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,370 SOMEBODY TO BLOCK THOSE PERFUME LADIES. 165 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:12,940 THOSE BITCHES ARE TOUGH. 166 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,610 BUT WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING BEFORE THE FIGHT STARTS. 167 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,612 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 168 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,548 I FORGOT THE FIGHT OF THE DECADE IS TONIGHT. 169 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,416 NO. I MEAN THE ONE BEN'S GONNA BE GETTING INTO 170 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,552 WITH THE BOYS WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT HE'S DITCHING THEM 171 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,686 FOR DIZZY. 172 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:27,921 - IZZY. - WHATEVER. 173 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,692 HEY, IT'S FOR EMMA. THEY'LL UNDERSTAND. 174 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,926 I DON'T UNDERSTAND! 175 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,695 DO YOU NOT SEE THAT WE'VE INSTITUTED 176 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,897 - A LEAVE-NO-CHIP-BEHIND POLICY? - YEAH. 177 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,867 YOU CANNOT PULL THE PLUG. 178 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,503 I'M MAKING MY FAMOUS FIVE-LAYER BEAN DIP. 179 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,205 I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING MY ONION DIP. 180 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,874 WELL, MAYBE WE CAN TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 181 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:47,908 GUYS! 182 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,579 I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND 183 00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:52,846 SOMEWHERE ELSE TO WATCH THE FIGHT. 184 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,582 WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICES. 185 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,784 OH, I KNOW EXACTLY WHO I'M SACRIFICING. 186 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,887 YEAH, WE WANNA WATCH THE FIGHT IN OUR HOME 187 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,889 WITH OUR STUFF ON OUR TELEVISION! 188 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,957 YEAH, THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR. 189 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,026 WE ARE SO REVOKING YOUR BRO CARD. 190 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,763 WELL, FEEL FREE TO PUT IT IN THIS BOX 191 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,499 WITH THE REST OF YOUR NON-BABY-FRIENDLY CRAP 192 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,634 AND DUMP IT IN THE STORAGE CAGE. 193 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,669 I'VE GOT IMPORTANT MOMMY AND ME BUSINESS. 194 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,473 ( door shuts ) 195 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,609 DOES HE EVEN HEAR HOW WEAK THAT SOUNDS? 196 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,644 ( Ben shouts ) YES, HE DOES! 197 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,014 YOU WERE AMAZING. 198 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,783 THE WAY YOU JUST RIPPED THAT SHIRT RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS. 199 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,652 THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT A TAG SALE. 200 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:32,920 I TAGGED HER RIGHT ON HER ASS-- 201 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,254 JUST KA-BLAM! 202 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,024 EXCUSE ME. LADIES. 203 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,026 NORMALLY I WOULD BUY COOKIES 204 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,894 FROM YOUR TROOP, SIR, BUT I JUST DROPPED 205 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:41,929 A BOATLOAD OF CASH-- 206 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,664 LET'S CUT THE CHATTER. 207 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,065 I GOT A 942 IN PROGRESS. 208 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:47,868 FOLLOW ME, PLEASE. 209 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,036 I'M SORRY, IS THERE A PROBLEM? 210 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,038 YEAH. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. 211 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,941 LET'S FALL IN LINE, BLONDIES. 212 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,714 DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM 213 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,950 IN YOUR STORAGE CAGE FOR SOME BOXES. 214 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,552 YOU GOTTA GET RID OF SOME OF THAT CRAP. 215 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,819 DUDE, I CAN'T HELP IT. 216 00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,288 ALL THAT FURNITURE BELONGED TO MY NANA. 217 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,258 AND I HAD MY FIRST KISS ON THAT COUCH. 218 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,726 COULD WE PLEASE JUST DUMP THESE 219 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,994 AND FIND A PLACE TO WATCH THE FIGHT? 220 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,831 - OKAY. - ( sighs ) 221 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:18,866 WAIT! 222 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,902 IS THAT A CABLE OUTLET? 223 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,638 ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 224 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:25,906 YEAH. 225 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,941 WE NEED TO FIND A PLACE TO WATCH THE FIGHT. 226 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,581 - Both: OH! - YEAH. 227 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:36,717 GUYS? 228 00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:46,694 WHERE IS EVERYTHING? 229 00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:50,698 I BELIEVE THE LAUNDRY ROOM 230 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,299 IS OFFICIALLY BACK IN ORDER. 231 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,034 WHO NEEDS BEN? 232 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,903 MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHO NEEDS BEER? OKAY. 233 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,004 THIS GUY. 234 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,039 ( playfully groans ) 235 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,141 ( laughs ) MMM. 236 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:08,015 OKAY. WATER BOILING FOR PASTA-- CHECK. 237 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,018 SALAD IN A BAG I'LL PRETEND I MADE MYSELF-- CHECK. 238 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,087 SWEATING THROUGH MY NICE SHIRT-- DOUBLE CHECK. 239 00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,590 OKAY, NOW WHAT? 240 00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:17,991 CUT THE CHICKEN INTO BITE-SIZED PIECES. 241 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,026 RIGHT. 242 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,133 ( Tucker laughing ) 243 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:28,902 WHERE HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN? I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU 244 00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:29,903 FOR OVER AN HOUR. 245 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,605 NO RECEPTION IN THE MAN CAVE. 246 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,607 THE WHERE? IT DOESN'T MATTER. 247 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,142 THANK YOU FOR GETTING ON BOARD WITH THIS. 248 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,878 I SAY ONION AND BEAN. 249 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,913 - I SAY I LOVE YOU. - ( chuckles ) 250 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,084 I'LL TEXT YOU AS SOON AS IZZY'S GONE 251 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,085 AND YOU CAN BRING BACK THE TV 252 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,987 AND MY BRO CARD. 253 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,088 WE'RE GOOD. MAYBE YOU CAN CATCH 254 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,857 THE FIGHT DOWN AT THE BAR. 255 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,924 OH, IS THAT WHERE YOU'RE WATCHING IT? 256 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,660 NOPE. 257 00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:54,061 SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL ME WHERE? 258 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,929 DON'T SEE WHY WE SHOULD. 259 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:58,065 NOT REALLY SOMETHING YOU SEEM INTERESTED IN. 260 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,200 REALLY? COULD YOU BE MORE CHILDISH? 261 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,805 ( whining ) PLEASE. 262 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,808 LAUNDRY ROOM. IT'S SO COOL! 263 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,377 WHAT IS THE POINT IN HAVING A NO-BEN CLUB 264 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,813 - WHEN YOU INVITE BEN? - ( door opens ) 265 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,182 - KNOCK KNOCK. - IZZY, HEY. 266 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,650 JUST TAKE THIS BABY MONITOR 267 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,185 AND LET ME KNOW IF ANYTHING BIG HAPPENS. 268 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,187 THANK YOU FOR COMING. MY BROTHER AND MY ROOMMATE, 269 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,655 BOTH GIANT SUPPORTERS. 270 00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:24,624 - HI. - OH, I ACTUALLY JUST SANITIZED. 271 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,159 BOO! 272 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,030 ENJOY BABY-PROOFING THE APARTMENT, 273 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,199 AND WE'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS DULL-PROOFING OUR LIVES. 274 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:38,806 WOW. BEN, I AM SO IMPRESSED. 275 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,808 DO NOT NEED TO TELL ME ANYTHING TWICE. 276 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,076 ( giggles ) THEN THIS SHOULD TAKE NO TIME AT ALL. 277 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,712 AND WE'LL BE ABLE TO GET TO THE 278 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,213 ONE-ON-ONE PORTION OF THE EVENING. 279 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,181 ISN'T THAT WHAT WE-- 280 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,985 OH. DIDN'T REALIZE DADDY HAD A PLAYDATE. 281 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,690 ( radio static ) THIS IS THE TOM MAN AT HOME BASE-- OVER. 282 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:59,126 ( static ) COME IN SECTOR 21. 283 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:02,129 ( imitates radio static ) THIS IS BONNIE IN SECURITY. 284 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,898 COME IN, FATPANTS. ( imitates static ) 285 00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,433 ( imitates static ) HEY THERE, BONNIE. 286 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,101 LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE CELLMATES. 287 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,036 I CALL TOP BUNK! 288 00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:11,238 - ( imitates static ) - GUESS THERE WAS 289 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,240 A TWO-FOR-ONE SALE ON WISENHEIMERS. 290 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,108 YOU TWO LADIES WANNA TAMP IT DOWN? 291 00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,711 ( Valley girl accent ) PLEASE DON'T CALL MY MOM. 292 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,813 SHE WILL TOTALLY FREAK OUT. 293 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,215 AND IF SHE GROUNDS ME, I'M GONNA MISS PROM. 294 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:26,219 AND I THINK THAT DAVID AND I MIGHT ACTUALLY... 295 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,254 DO IT. 296 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,158 - ( imitates accent ) SHUT UP. - YOU SHUT UP. 297 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,192 THE TWO OF YOU SHUT UP. 298 00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,463 YOU TWO SHOULD TAKE THIS ACT ON THE ROAD. 299 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,065 OH! BUT YOU CAN'T. 300 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,499 BECAUSE WHERE I COME FROM, 301 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,234 USING AN INNOCENT LITTLE BABY TO STEAL 302 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,236 A DIAMOND WATCH IS WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL 303 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,472 A FELONY. 304 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,808 WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? WE DIDN'T PUT THAT IN THERE. 305 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,810 TELL IT TO YOUR PAROLE OFFICER, SISTER! 306 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,044 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 307 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,080 I NEED TO GET THE PROPER PAPERWORK. 308 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,951 OH MY GOD! A FELONY? 309 00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,219 I COULD LOSE MY INTERNSHIP. 310 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,988 I COULD GET DISBARRED 311 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,222 BEFORE I'M EVEN BARRED. 312 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,757 HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? 313 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,759 OH, YOU ACTUALLY THINK I STOLE A WATCH 314 00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,094 AND SHOVED IT INTO EMMA'S STROLLER? 315 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,062 HOW SHOULD I KNOW?! YOU'RE A CRAZY PERSON. 316 00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:11,865 IF I DO BECOME A LAWYER, 317 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,233 THE FIRST THING I'M GONNA DO 318 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,267 IS SUE YOU. 319 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,806 - ( "Star Spangled Banner" playing ) - * AND THE HOME... 320 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,775 * ...OF THE BRAVE! 321 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,510 Both: WHOO! YEAH! 322 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,745 ( grunting ) 323 00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:32,185 YOU THINK BEN'S ENJOYING HIS "BORING AND ME" DATE? 324 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,320 - ( scoffs ) - ( mockingly ) WHAT DO YOU THINK 325 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,823 IS BETTER-- BABY OIL OR BABY POWDER? 326 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,324 ( seriously ) OH WELL, I PERSONALLY LIKE THE OIL THE BEST 327 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,960 BECAUSE IT LEAVES MY SKIN BLEMISH-FREE 328 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,995 AND JUST ALL OVER-- 329 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,198 COME ON! SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY! 330 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,968 OKAY, RULE #1: 331 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,937 NO BABY TALK IN THE MAN CAVE. 332 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,072 - ( monitor static ) - Ben: Baby Daddy to Man Cave, 333 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,941 Baby Daddy to Man Cave. Come in, Man Cave. 334 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,342 I think we have a situation up here. 335 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,110 I REPEAT-- 336 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,813 WE MAY HAVE A MOMMY-GONE-WILD SITUATION UP HERE. 337 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,949 - THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT? - No, it's not. 338 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,350 WELL, IT COULD BE. 339 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,352 I DON'T KNOW. 340 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,855 I GUESS I COULD GO FOR A LITTLE EXTRA CREDIT. 341 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,556 BEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE? 342 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,024 I GOTTA GO. WAIT-- WHAT'S HAPPENING 343 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:14,561 - WITH THE FIGHT? - Tucker and Danny: Whoa! Whoa! Yeah! 344 00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,528 WHAT?! 345 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,164 - ( frustrated groan ) - ( monitor clicks ) 346 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,133 SORRY ABOUT THAT. 347 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,035 PART OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH PROGRAM. 348 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,104 IT WAS MY TURN TO WATCH. 349 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:27,374 THIS CHICKEN IS DELICIOUS. 350 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,376 AND THE-- OH! THIS WINE-- 351 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,244 IT TASTES LIKE... 352 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,812 FREEDOM. 353 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,948 IT IS JUST SO GOOD 354 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,249 TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. 355 00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,385 FIVE HOURS A MONTH IS ALL I HAVE TO MYSELF 356 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,854 AND I AM GOING TO SQUEEZE 357 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,622 EVERY LAST SECOND OUT OF 358 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,991 EVERY ONE OF THEM. 359 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,292 OKAY WELL, HERE'S TO FREEDOM. 360 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,327 - OH! - AND MAYBE A QUICK SQUEEZE. 361 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,361 ( chuckles ) 362 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,332 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS? 363 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,401 YEAH. WE'RE PAYING RETAIL FROM NOW ON. 364 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,403 MRS. WHEELER, YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE! 365 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,038 OKAY, LET'S CALM DOWN. 366 00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,606 WE CAN'T TURN ON EACH OTHER. 367 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,408 - THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT. - OH-HO, I'LL SING. 368 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,209 I'LL TELL THEM EVERYTHING. 369 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:05,312 OBVIOUSLY, EMMA JUST GRABBED IT. 370 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,614 SHE'S AT THAT STAGE. 371 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,548 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN-- 372 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,650 WHEN WALKIE-TALKIE TOMMY GETS BACK IN HERE, 373 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,385 JUST USE YOUR POWERS OF PERSUASION 374 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,087 AND GET US OUT OF THIS. 375 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:16,957 WELL, I HAVE PICKED UP A FEW LEGAL MOVES. 376 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:17,891 I MEANT USE YOUR SKINNY LITTLE BUTT 377 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,259 AND SHAKE WHAT WEIGHT WATCHERS GAVE YOU. 378 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,660 HUH? HUH? HUH? 379 00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,662 THAT IS CALLED ENTRAPMENT. 380 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,364 OR SOLICITATION, OR SOMETHING... 381 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,033 ( mumbles ) INTERCOAST-- 382 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,669 OH WOW, YOU ARE GOOD AT THIS. 383 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,670 ALL RIGHT, HERE. 384 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,372 FINE, I WILL DO IT. 385 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,241 OKAY. 386 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,976 HUH, YEAH, OKAY. 387 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,444 AH, OKAY. 388 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,212 OH MY GOD, WE'RE SO GOING TO PRISON. 389 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,218 HUH? 390 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,322 - WHAT'S THIS? - SHH. 391 00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,324 20 BUCKS AND A COFFEE CARD WITH AT LEAST 392 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,393 FIVE FREEBIES STILL ON IT. 393 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,395 I DON'T DRINK COFFEE. 394 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,430 AND THAT'S BRIBERY. 395 00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,199 OH! THAT'S WHAT IT WAS. 396 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,702 YOU KNOW THE WORST PART ABOUT MOMMY AND ME? 397 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,037 THE MOMMIES. 398 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,438 "OH IZZY, WHAT SHOULD I DO? 399 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,307 IZZY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BABY?" 400 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,242 HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW? IT'S A BABY. 401 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,681 WELL, ISN'T THAT KIND OF YOUR JOB? 402 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,716 - ( monitor static ) - Tucker: Man Cave to Baby Daddy. 403 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,717 WHAT'S THAT? 404 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,686 OH, IT'S THE BABY MONITOR. 405 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,388 ( scoffs ) PICKS UP A LOT OF WEIRD STUFF. 406 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,390 LIKE YESTERDAY, I PICKED UP A TELENOVELA. 407 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,094 I DON'T KNOW WHAT RAMONA WAS SAYING TO JORGE, 408 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,362 BUT SHE WAS PISSED. 409 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,397 Danny: Man Cave to Baby Daddy. 410 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,032 I SHOULD JUST PUT IT AWAY. 411 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,002 AND I AM GONNA GO FRESHEN UP 412 00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,703 BECAUSE I STILL HAVE THREE AND A HALF HOURS 413 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,105 WORTH OF LIVING TO DO. 414 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,407 - ( door closes ) - COME IN, MAN CAVE. 415 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,708 WHAT'S GOING ON? 416 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,410 Tucker and Danny: Whoa! 417 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,112 WHAT? WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 418 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:48,415 - Danny: Oh! And he's down! - Tucker: Oh my god! 419 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,517 - WHO'S DOWN?! - ( monitor clicks ) 420 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:54,154 IZZY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK! I JUST NEED RUN NEXT DOOR TO BORROW... 421 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,955 SOMETHING I DON'T HAVE HERE. 422 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,526 HEY! WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO OUT DANCING? 423 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,330 BEN? 424 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,298 - NO NO NO NO, GET UP. - COME ON. GO. 425 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,299 - WHAT DID I MISS? - ( bell rings ) 426 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,434 ( cheering ) 427 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,369 TRULY SAVED BY THE BELL! 428 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,238 YOU JUST MISSED THE MOST INCREDIBLE ROUND. 429 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,372 ( groans ) 430 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,107 OKAY WELL, REMEMBER EVERYTHING. 431 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,442 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GET BACK DOWN HERE. 432 00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:18,278 WHAT'S WITH THE DOOR? 433 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,412 DON'T CLOSE IT ALL THE WAY. 434 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,014 IT'LL LOCK FROM THE OUTSIDE. 435 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,050 ( bangs on door ) 436 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,386 WELCOME TO MANTOPIA. 437 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,522 DUDE, I THOUGHT WE SETTLED ON BROTOWN. 438 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,529 HELP! ANYONE! 439 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,330 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 440 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,099 HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE? 441 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,767 I DON'T CARE, BUT YOUR GIRLY WHINING 442 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,103 IS UPSETTING THE LEVEL OF MANHOOD IN HERE. 443 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,173 I COULD SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE 444 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,407 IN THIS ROOM. ( chuckles ) 445 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,541 UH-OH, CABLE'S OUT. 446 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:51,178 OH MY GOD! WE'RE GONNA DIE IN HERE! 447 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,580 OH NO! THEY WILL NEVER FIND US! 448 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,348 YOU CANNOT EAT ME FIRST. 449 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,152 AND ACCORDING TO STATUTE 189-- 450 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,189 OR PERHAPS 237-- 451 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,290 OF THE BI-LAWS OF THIS STATE, 452 00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,557 YOU ARE PROHIBITED FROM HOLDING US 453 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,193 FOR MORE THAN 48 HOURS. 454 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,160 OH GREAT, SO THAT'S... 455 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,596 46 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES TO GO. 456 00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,231 AND I'VE GOT NO PLANS. 457 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,266 WELL, COLOR ME SHOCKED. 458 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,836 HEY! I HAVE DEDICATED MY LIFE TO PROTECTING THIS MALL. 459 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,538 I DID NOT PICK THIS JOB. 460 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,207 THE JOB PICKED ME. 461 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,609 LOOK, CHARGE US OR LET US GO. 462 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,478 EITHER WAY, I'M GONNA NEED TO GET MY PARKING VALIDATED. 463 00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:28,215 I'LL JUST WALKIE THE COPS, HMM? 464 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,183 THEY'LL GET YOUR REAL NAME, SIEGFRIED. 465 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,487 WAIT-- MY WALKIE. 466 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:37,590 - WHERE IS IT? - DON'T PANIC. 467 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,093 YOU HAD IT WITH YOU WHEN YOU RAN OUT TO THAT STAFF MEETING. 468 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,328 RIGHT! THE MEN'S ROOM. 469 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,097 YOU TWO DON'T MOVE! 470 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,466 LOCK IT DOWN, PEOPLE! I'M OFF WALKIE! 471 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:49,102 I REPEAT-- I AM OFF WALKIE! 472 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,203 ( whining ) NO NO NO. 473 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,304 WE'RE LOCKED IN. 474 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,140 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 475 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,641 BAM! 476 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,244 AND BAM! 477 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,248 LET'S GO, SIEGFRIED. 478 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,283 - I'M SPRINGING YOU. - YES! 479 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,253 I'M IN! 480 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,320 NOW GO! 481 00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:08,688 CRAWL FOR HELP, LITTLE BUDDY. 482 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,392 I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT AN IDIOT I AM. 483 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,195 - I CAN. - ME TOO. 484 00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:16,196 I RUINED EMMA'S CHANCES. 485 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,165 I JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING GREAT FOR HER. 486 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,399 BEN, YOU DO SOMETHING GREAT FOR EMMA 487 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,667 EVERY TIME YOU LOOK AT HER AND SAY, 488 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,569 "HI, BABY. IT'S ME, DADDY." 489 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:26,339 - YOU REALLY THINK SO? - I DO. 490 00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,275 I'M SORRY I CALLED YOU SELFISH. 491 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,310 IT'S COOL. I IGNORED YOU. 492 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,913 WHAT ABOUT YOU, TUCK? WILL YOU FORGIVE ME? 493 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,548 I'M NOT BUDGING. 494 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,151 WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT, TUCKER? 495 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,686 - I JUST APOLOGIZED. - Tucker: NO. 496 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,588 I'M NOT MOVING. 497 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,590 I AM STUCK. 498 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,726 GET ME OUT OF HERE! 499 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,701 BEN REALLY KNOWS HOW TO SHOW 'EM A GOOD TIME, 500 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,337 DOESN'T HE? SHH. 501 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,310 ( mimicking baby crying ) 502 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,711 I'M UP! JORDAN, IT'S OK! 503 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,913 MOMMY'S COMING. 504 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,548 OH, GIVE IT A REST, SUPER MOM. 505 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,283 HI, BONNIE WHEELER, 506 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,418 REAL MOM, 507 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:14,187 AND MY NONDESCRIPT SIDEKICK. 508 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,323 I'M SORRY. I GUESS I FELL ASLEEP. 509 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,325 WHAT'S THE DEALIO WITH YOU? 510 00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,460 WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE THE REST OF US LOOK BAD? 511 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,330 I'M NOT. I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING PERFECT. 512 00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:25,332 HOW'S THAT WORKING FOR YOU? 513 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,599 LOOK, I'VE RAISED TWO BOYS, 514 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,201 AND I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT 515 00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,337 THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS PERFECT. 516 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,205 THEY MIGHT BE SMALL, 517 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:34,307 BUT A BABY CAN TAKE YOU DOWN. 518 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,477 GETTING THROUGH THE DAY IN ONE PIECE-- 519 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,946 THAT, MY FRIEND, IS JOB DONE. 520 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,648 I KNOW. ( sighs ) 521 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,716 I'M SORRY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 522 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:47,220 I TRY AND I TRY, BUT ALL I WANT TO DO 523 00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:48,521 - IS TAKE A NAP. - YEAH, I KNOW. 524 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,557 A REALLY REALLY LONG NAP. 525 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,760 THIS KID IS SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME. 526 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:56,396 OH, I FEEL YOU, LIZZY. 527 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,530 - IZZY. - WHATEVER. 528 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,301 NOT THAT ANYBODY SEEMS TO CARE, 529 00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,536 BUT, UM, WHERE'S BEN? 530 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,406 Tucker: HELP! CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME? 531 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,475 WE'RE STUCK IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM. 532 00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,613 I GUESS ONE OF US SHOULD GO. 533 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,516 Tucker: ANYONE! WE'RE DESPERATE! 534 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,551 AND I REALLY NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM. 535 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,258 WE'RE SAVED! 536 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,726 IZZY, IT'S NOT HOW IT LOOKS. 537 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,461 LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE HIDING OUT IN A LAUNDRY ROOM 538 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,797 DRINKING BEER WHILE YOUR FRIEND IS STUCK IN A VENT. 539 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:35,234 - HEY, TUCK. - OH HEY, GIRL. 540 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,671 LOOK, I'M SORRY, 541 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:41,408 BUT CLEARLY EMMA AND I AREN'T READY FOR YOUR CLASS. 542 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,709 I JUST DON'T HAVE IT TOGETHER LIKE YOU DO. 543 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,512 SHE PASSED OUT ON YOUR COUCH. 544 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,380 THANKS. 545 00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:50,650 I KINDA OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. 546 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,519 I JUST WANTED A NIGHT OFF WITH A COOL GUY. 547 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,387 I DIDN'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO DO IT. 548 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,423 SO THE APPROVAL PROCESS? 549 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,824 DON'T REALLY HAVE ONE. 550 00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:00,527 WHAT A COINCIDENCE-- NEITHER DO I. 551 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,395 ( laughing ) 552 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,030 SO MAYBE WE CAN START OVER. 553 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,499 I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH. 554 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:08,535 - CHIP? - AW YES. STARVING. 555 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,570 - WHO'S WINNING? - HEY, CAN I GET A BEER? 556 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,839 - YEAH, HERE. - THANKS. 557 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:13,840 MM, YEAH. 558 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,442 Tucker: STILL HERE. 559 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,577 A LITTLE HELP HERE, PLEASE. OKAY. 560 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,313 - OH YEAH! - OH. ( chuckles ) 561 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:24,050 OKAY. DON'T ACT LIKE Y'ALL CAN'T HEAR ME. 562 00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,285 HEY, I MADE THAT DIP! 39505

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