Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:07,775
STOP. GIVE ME THAT.
2
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:09,777
I GOT IT!
QUICK YAPPIN' AT ME.
3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,379
PLAY NICE, DANNY.
4
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:13,381
OR AT LEAST GET HIM
A STEPLADDER.
5
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,554
OKAY, PEOPLE.
I NEED A CLEAN SHIRT
AND A CLEAN BABY--
6
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,423
NOT NECESSARILY
IN THAT ORDER.
7
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,558
EMMA, ARE YOU READY
FOR YOUR FIRST
PLAYDATE?
8
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:27,128
OKAY, NOW REMEMBER, EMMA,
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT.
9
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,529
JUST BECAUSE
HE BUYS YOU FORMULA
10
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,564
DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED
TO SHARE YOUR TOYS.
11
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,568
SHE'S ACTUALLY
PRETTY SMITTEN WITH HER
NEW LITTLE FRIEND JORDAN.
12
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,437
WELL, SHE'S ALSO
HAVING AN AFFAIR
WITH HER THUMB,
13
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,472
SO I WOULDN'T BE
PICKING OUT CHINA
JUST YET.
14
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,209
HONEY, I THINK
IT'S SO CUTE THAT YOU
15
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,843
JOINED A MOMMY
AND ME CLASS.
16
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,445
ROOM FULL OF HOT MOMMIES?
17
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,546
- YEAH, HE'S SELFLESS.
- ( scoffs )
18
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,383
THIS IS ABOUT EMMA, OKAY?
19
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,485
JORDAN'S MOM ISABELLE
IS AMAZING.
20
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:54,622
PEOPLE ACTUALLY CALL HER
THE "MOMMY WHISPERER."
21
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,224
FUNNY.
THAT USED TO BE
22
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:57,658
YOUR FATHER'S NICKNAME.
23
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,428
SHE RUNS
THE WHOLE PROGRAM.
24
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:02,296
THERE'S A HUGE WAITING LIST
FOR HER CLASS.
25
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:05,499
BUT, USING A LITTLE
OF THE PATENTED WHEELER CHARM,
26
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,635
EMMA AND I HAVE JUMPED
TO THE FRONT OF THE LIST.
27
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,870
WE PASS OUR PLAYDATE
AUDITION TODAY,
AND WE'RE IN.
28
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,572
- ( music from TV playing )
- WE'RE IN! YES!
29
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,241
- FINALLY!
- WHOO! YES!
30
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:14,408
TODAY IS GONNA BE
ALL ABOUT YELLING,
31
00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,644
SWEARING AND FULL-ON
BODY BLOWS.
32
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,212
( mouths )
33
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:20,248
SOUNDS LIKE
MY WEDDING NIGHT.
34
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,518
BOXING. IT'S THE
PAY-PER-VIEW FIGHT
35
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:25,353
- OF THE DECADE.
- YUP.
36
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:28,156
AND WATCHING IT
IS HOW WE STAY MANLY.
37
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,157
OHH.
38
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:31,359
YEAH, OKAY,
THAT SHOULD DO IT.
39
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,263
OH! IT'S OKAY, EMMA.
HERE WE GO.
40
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,364
THREE-SECOND RULE.
41
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:38,366
NO! NO-SECOND RULE.
42
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:39,500
IZZY SAID
THAT'S A MYTH.
43
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,568
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT KIND OF GERMS
44
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,435
YOU'RE EXPOSING HER TO?
45
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,137
HONEY, WHEN I WAS
RAISING YOU BOYS,
46
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:45,273
IT WAS A THREE-DAY RULE.
47
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,675
IF YOU KEPT IT DOWN,
IT WAS SAFE.
48
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,710
IF YOU DIDN'T--
WELL, THAT'S WHY WE HAD A DOG.
49
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,347
WELL, IZZY HAS
THIS SIMPLE LIST
OF RULES
50
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,548
THAT EVERY PARENT
NEEDS TO FOLLOW.
51
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,584
IT'S AMAZING HOW MUCH
I DON'T KNOW.
52
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,286
WE'RE ALL AMAZED
AT THAT, HONEY.
53
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,155
AND I'VE GOT
A LIST TOO.
54
00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:04,158
CHIPS, BEER,
SALSA, GUACAMOLE
55
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:05,893
- AND YOU BE HOME BY 8:00.
- ( mouths )
56
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,229
PLEASE.
I'M SO ON IT.
57
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,497
AND I'M SO LATE.
58
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:10,698
THE FIRST THING
ON IZZY'S LIST:
59
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,366
BE PREPARED
FOR EVERYTHING.
60
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,204
THE SECOND THING
ON THE LIST:
61
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:17,571
DON'T FORGET
THE BABY.
62
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,940
( theme music playing )
63
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,411
* IT'S AMAZING
HOW THE UNEXPECTED *
64
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:26,514
* CAN TAKE YOUR LIFE
AND CHANGE DIRECTIONS. *
65
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,322
SO MAYBE NOT
THE BEST DAY FOR THE PARK.
66
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,923
- IF YOU NEED TO DRY OFF--
- WE'RE GOOD.
67
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:39,227
RAIN OR SHINE,
WE'RE ALWAYS PREPARED.
68
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,662
MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE,
WHILE WE RECYCLE OUR RAINCOATS.
69
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,633
IT SMELLS VERY...
70
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,235
( inhales )
71
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,736
MALE.
72
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,339
ON BEHALF
OF THE THREE MEN
WHO LIVE HERE,
73
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,373
THANK YOU.
74
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,742
LOOK, WE'RE SORTA NEW
75
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,344
ON THE WHOLE
BABY-DATING SCENE,
76
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,212
SO I'M NOT REALLY SURE
WHAT COMES NEXT.
77
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,613
A LITTLE PEEK-A-BOO.
78
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,649
MAYBE SOME SPIN-THE-BOTTLE.
79
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,418
THAT'S HILARIOUS.
80
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,354
BUT IT'S ALMOST TIME
FOR JORDAN'S NAP
81
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,722
AND I CAN'T IMAGINE
PUTTING HIM DOWN
82
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,224
ANYWHERE HERE,
83
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,260
SO WE SHOULD...
84
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,297
PROBABLY BE GOING.
85
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,565
NO NO NO NO.
PLEASE DON'T.
86
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:18,766
I KNOW WE'RE
PROBABLY NOT UP
87
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:19,967
TO YOUR USUAL STANDARDS.
88
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,703
AND THE PLACE COULD USE
A TOUCH MORE...
89
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,438
- BABY-PROOFING.
- "A TOUCH?"
90
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,374
SHE SAYS, LOOKING
AT A GIANT DARTBOARD
91
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,409
AND 75 CHOKING HAZARDS.
92
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,512
BEN, I'M SORRY.
I JUST DON'T KNOW
93
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,581
IF YOU'RE TAKING YOUR ROLE
AS A PARENT SERIOUSLY ENOUGH.
94
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,716
AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED
TO BE IN YOUR CLASS.
95
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,719
WE'RE TIRED OF BEING
PATHETIC "BEFORES."
96
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,754
( exaggerated sigh )
97
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,495
WE WANNA BE
HAPPY "AFTERS."
98
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,298
( laughs )
99
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,733
WE NEED TO BE
IZZIED.
100
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,735
YAY, IZZY!
101
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,637
( giggles )
102
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,607
I GUESS I COULD DO
A PRIVATE HOME INTENSIVE.
103
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,377
A ONE-ON-ONE
WHERE WE GO THROUGH
EVERYTHING IN THE PLACE.
104
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:04,778
YES! THANK YOU.
105
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:06,814
MAYBE WE COULD
DO IT OVER DINNER.
106
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:07,648
MY MOM'S GOT
JORDAN TONIGHT,
107
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,817
WHICH JUST MEANS
HE'LL PROBABLY KNOW
108
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,852
HOW TO MIX A MARTINI
BEFORE HE'S TWO.
109
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,523
TONIGHT?
AS IN THIS EVENING?
110
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:16,590
HOURS FROM NOW?
111
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:17,825
IT'S REALLY
THE ONLY TIME I HAVE.
112
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,327
AND THERE'S NO WAY
THAT I COULD LET
113
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,461
THE TWO OF YOU
INTO MY CLASS.
114
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:21,562
THEN TONIGHT IT IS!
115
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,696
BUT I'M JUST
LETTING YOU KNOW,
116
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,298
I'M A REALLY FAST LEARNER,
117
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,699
SO GET READY TO PUT
THE BABY PEDAL
118
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,801
TO THE DADDY METAL.
( chuckles )
119
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,839
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT THAT MEANS.
120
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,709
BEN, HONEY,
THERE IS SUCH
A THING AS BEING
121
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:36,710
TOO PROTECTIVE.
122
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,747
DID I PICK YOU UP
EVERY TIME YOU CRIED? NO.
123
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,049
DID I FEED YOU
EVERY TIME YOU WERE HUNGRY?
124
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,283
NO.
125
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,787
DID I FIX THOSE
FRAYED WIRES
126
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,055
BEHIND THE TV?
I MEAN, WHAT AM I?
127
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,524
AN ELECTRICIAN?
128
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:53,060
COME ON, BEN,
YOU TURNED OUT--
129
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,895
WELL, YOU ARE STILL HERE.
130
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,866
I FEEL SO CODDLED.
131
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,601
WELL, YOU SHOULD,
SINCE I'M MAKING DINNER
132
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,902
FOR YOU AND LADY GOO-GOO.
133
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,772
HEY, THAT'S ORGANIC
CHICKEN, RIGHT?
134
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,340
SHE ONLY EATS ORGANIC.
135
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:07,741
YEAH, RIGHT.
LIKE I'M GOING TO SPEND
136
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,610
40 BUCKS ON A BREAST
OF CHICKEN.
137
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,645
I DON'T SPEND THAT MUCH
PER CUP ON A BRA.
138
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,082
MOM! THIS IS IMPORTANT.
139
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,817
HONEY, YOUR BROTHER
IS 6'5"
140
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,752
AND HE GREW UP
EATING DIRT.
141
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,087
( door opens )
142
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,555
I DID IT!
143
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:22,756
I GOT THE JOB.
144
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,892
YOU ARE LOOKING
AT THE NEWEST EMPLOYEE
145
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,894
OF BENDER, BOWMAN,
BROCKMAN
146
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,797
AND SOME GUY WHOSE NAME
I CAN'T PRONOUNCE.
147
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,400
- CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANK YOU.
148
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:36,770
WOW. THAT'S A REALLY
LONG NAME FOR A STRIP CLUB.
149
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:37,905
IT'S A LAW FIRM
150
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,773
AND I START MY INTERNSHIP
ON MONDAY.
151
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,875
WELL, THEN YOU BETTER
FIND THE REST OF THAT SKIRT
152
00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,544
BEFORE THEN BECAUSE
153
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,913
I CAN KINDA SEE
YOUR TONSILS.
154
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,383
THIS IS THE
MOST CONSERVATIVE
THING I HAVE.
155
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,519
WELL, EMMA
AND I ARE HEADING
TO THE OUTLET MALL
156
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:52,786
FOR THEIR MONTHLY
MADNESS SALE.
157
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,389
IT'S 40% OFF
OF 40% OFF.
158
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,425
WHICH I THINK MEANS,
THEY PAY YOU.
159
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,929
WELL, I ACTUALLY COULD USE
A COUPLE OF NEW SUITS.
160
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,831
HERE'S SOMETHING
I'M GONNA REGRET.
161
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,798
MRS. WHEELER,
162
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,467
WILL YOU TAKE
ME SHOPPING?
163
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,135
ABSOLUTELY.
I CAN ALWAYS USE
164
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,370
SOMEBODY TO BLOCK
THOSE PERFUME LADIES.
165
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:12,940
THOSE BITCHES ARE TOUGH.
166
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,610
BUT WE SHOULD
PROBABLY GET GOING
BEFORE THE FIGHT STARTS.
167
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,612
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
168
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,548
I FORGOT THE FIGHT
OF THE DECADE IS TONIGHT.
169
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,416
NO. I MEAN THE ONE
BEN'S GONNA BE GETTING INTO
170
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,552
WITH THE BOYS
WHEN THEY FIND OUT
THAT HE'S DITCHING THEM
171
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,686
FOR DIZZY.
172
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:27,921
- IZZY.
- WHATEVER.
173
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,692
HEY, IT'S FOR EMMA.
THEY'LL UNDERSTAND.
174
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,926
I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
175
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,695
DO YOU NOT SEE
THAT WE'VE INSTITUTED
176
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,897
- A LEAVE-NO-CHIP-BEHIND
POLICY?
- YEAH.
177
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,867
YOU CANNOT PULL THE PLUG.
178
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,503
I'M MAKING MY FAMOUS
FIVE-LAYER BEAN DIP.
179
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,205
I THOUGHT WE WERE
DOING MY ONION DIP.
180
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,874
WELL, MAYBE WE CAN TRY
SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
181
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:47,908
GUYS!
182
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,579
I'M REALLY SORRY,
BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND
183
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:52,846
SOMEWHERE ELSE
TO WATCH THE FIGHT.
184
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,582
WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE
SOME SACRIFICES.
185
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,784
OH, I KNOW EXACTLY
WHO I'M SACRIFICING.
186
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,887
YEAH, WE WANNA WATCH
THE FIGHT IN OUR HOME
187
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,889
WITH OUR STUFF
ON OUR TELEVISION!
188
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,957
YEAH, THIS IS
UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR.
189
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,026
WE ARE SO REVOKING
YOUR BRO CARD.
190
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,763
WELL, FEEL FREE
TO PUT IT IN THIS BOX
191
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,499
WITH THE REST OF
YOUR NON-BABY-FRIENDLY CRAP
192
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,634
AND DUMP IT
IN THE STORAGE CAGE.
193
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,669
I'VE GOT IMPORTANT
MOMMY AND ME BUSINESS.
194
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,473
( door shuts )
195
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,609
DOES HE EVEN HEAR
HOW WEAK THAT SOUNDS?
196
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,644
( Ben shouts )
YES, HE DOES!
197
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,014
YOU WERE AMAZING.
198
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,783
THE WAY YOU JUST
RIPPED THAT SHIRT
RIGHT OUT OF HER HANDS.
199
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,652
THAT'S WHY THEY
CALL IT A TAG SALE.
200
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:32,920
I TAGGED HER RIGHT
ON HER ASS--
201
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,254
JUST KA-BLAM!
202
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,024
EXCUSE ME. LADIES.
203
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,026
NORMALLY I
WOULD BUY COOKIES
204
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,894
FROM YOUR TROOP, SIR,
BUT I JUST DROPPED
205
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:41,929
A BOATLOAD OF CASH--
206
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,664
LET'S CUT THE CHATTER.
207
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,065
I GOT A 942 IN PROGRESS.
208
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:47,868
FOLLOW ME, PLEASE.
209
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,036
I'M SORRY,
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
210
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,038
YEAH. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.
211
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,941
LET'S FALL
IN LINE, BLONDIES.
212
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,714
DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM
213
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,950
IN YOUR STORAGE CAGE
FOR SOME BOXES.
214
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,552
YOU GOTTA GET RID
OF SOME OF THAT CRAP.
215
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:05,819
DUDE, I CAN'T HELP IT.
216
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,288
ALL THAT FURNITURE
BELONGED TO MY NANA.
217
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,258
AND I HAD MY FIRST KISS
ON THAT COUCH.
218
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,726
COULD WE PLEASE
JUST DUMP THESE
219
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,994
AND FIND A PLACE
TO WATCH THE FIGHT?
220
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,831
- OKAY.
- ( sighs )
221
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:18,866
WAIT!
222
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,902
IS THAT A CABLE OUTLET?
223
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,638
ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
224
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:25,906
YEAH.
225
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,941
WE NEED TO FIND A PLACE
TO WATCH THE FIGHT.
226
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,581
- Both: OH!
- YEAH.
227
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:36,717
GUYS?
228
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:46,694
WHERE IS EVERYTHING?
229
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:50,698
I BELIEVE
THE LAUNDRY ROOM
230
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,299
IS OFFICIALLY
BACK IN ORDER.
231
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,034
WHO NEEDS BEN?
232
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,903
MORE IMPORTANTLY,
WHO NEEDS BEER? OKAY.
233
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,004
THIS GUY.
234
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,039
( playfully groans )
235
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,141
( laughs ) MMM.
236
00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:08,015
OKAY. WATER BOILING
FOR PASTA-- CHECK.
237
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,018
SALAD IN A BAG I'LL PRETEND
I MADE MYSELF-- CHECK.
238
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,087
SWEATING THROUGH
MY NICE SHIRT-- DOUBLE CHECK.
239
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:16,590
OKAY, NOW WHAT?
240
00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:17,991
CUT THE CHICKEN
INTO BITE-SIZED PIECES.
241
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,026
RIGHT.
242
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,133
( Tucker laughing )
243
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:28,902
WHERE HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN?
I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU
244
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:29,903
FOR OVER AN HOUR.
245
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,605
NO RECEPTION
IN THE MAN CAVE.
246
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,607
THE WHERE?
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
247
00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,142
THANK YOU FOR GETTING
ON BOARD WITH THIS.
248
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,878
I SAY ONION AND BEAN.
249
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,913
- I SAY I LOVE YOU.
- ( chuckles )
250
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,084
I'LL TEXT YOU AS SOON
AS IZZY'S GONE
251
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,085
AND YOU CAN BRING BACK
THE TV
252
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,987
AND MY BRO CARD.
253
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:48,088
WE'RE GOOD.
MAYBE YOU CAN CATCH
254
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,857
THE FIGHT DOWN
AT THE BAR.
255
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,924
OH, IS THAT WHERE
YOU'RE WATCHING IT?
256
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,660
NOPE.
257
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:54,061
SO YOU'RE NOT
GONNA TELL ME WHERE?
258
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,929
DON'T SEE
WHY WE SHOULD.
259
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:58,065
NOT REALLY SOMETHING
YOU SEEM INTERESTED IN.
260
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,200
REALLY? COULD YOU
BE MORE CHILDISH?
261
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,805
( whining )
PLEASE.
262
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,808
LAUNDRY ROOM.
IT'S SO COOL!
263
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,377
WHAT IS THE POINT
IN HAVING A NO-BEN CLUB
264
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,813
- WHEN YOU INVITE BEN?
- ( door opens )
265
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,182
- KNOCK KNOCK.
- IZZY, HEY.
266
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,650
JUST TAKE THIS
BABY MONITOR
267
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,185
AND LET ME KNOW
IF ANYTHING BIG
HAPPENS.
268
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,187
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
MY BROTHER AND MY ROOMMATE,
269
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,655
BOTH GIANT SUPPORTERS.
270
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:24,624
- HI.
- OH, I ACTUALLY
JUST SANITIZED.
271
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,159
BOO!
272
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,030
ENJOY BABY-PROOFING
THE APARTMENT,
273
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,199
AND WE'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS
DULL-PROOFING OUR LIVES.
274
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:38,806
WOW. BEN,
I AM SO IMPRESSED.
275
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,808
DO NOT NEED TO TELL
ME ANYTHING TWICE.
276
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,076
( giggles )
THEN THIS SHOULD
TAKE NO TIME AT ALL.
277
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,712
AND WE'LL BE ABLE
TO GET TO THE
278
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,213
ONE-ON-ONE PORTION
OF THE EVENING.
279
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,181
ISN'T THAT WHAT WE--
280
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,985
OH. DIDN'T REALIZE
DADDY HAD A PLAYDATE.
281
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,690
( radio static )
THIS IS THE TOM MAN
AT HOME BASE-- OVER.
282
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:59,126
( static )
COME IN SECTOR 21.
283
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:02,129
( imitates radio static )
THIS IS BONNIE IN SECURITY.
284
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,898
COME IN, FATPANTS.
( imitates static )
285
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,433
( imitates static )
HEY THERE, BONNIE.
286
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,101
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE
GONNA BE CELLMATES.
287
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,036
I CALL TOP BUNK!
288
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:11,238
- ( imitates static )
- GUESS THERE WAS
289
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,240
A TWO-FOR-ONE SALE
ON WISENHEIMERS.
290
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,108
YOU TWO LADIES
WANNA TAMP IT DOWN?
291
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:17,711
( Valley girl accent )
PLEASE DON'T CALL MY MOM.
292
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,813
SHE WILL TOTALLY
FREAK OUT.
293
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,215
AND IF SHE GROUNDS ME,
I'M GONNA MISS PROM.
294
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:26,219
AND I THINK THAT DAVID
AND I MIGHT ACTUALLY...
295
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,254
DO IT.
296
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,158
- ( imitates accent ) SHUT UP.
- YOU SHUT UP.
297
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,192
THE TWO OF YOU
SHUT UP.
298
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,463
YOU TWO SHOULD TAKE
THIS ACT ON THE ROAD.
299
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,065
OH! BUT YOU CAN'T.
300
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,499
BECAUSE WHERE I COME FROM,
301
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,234
USING AN INNOCENT
LITTLE BABY TO STEAL
302
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,236
A DIAMOND WATCH
IS WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL
303
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,472
A FELONY.
304
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,808
WHERE DID THAT COME
FROM? WE DIDN'T PUT
THAT IN THERE.
305
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,810
TELL IT TO YOUR
PAROLE OFFICER, SISTER!
306
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,044
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
307
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,080
I NEED TO GET
THE PROPER PAPERWORK.
308
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,951
OH MY GOD! A FELONY?
309
00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,219
I COULD LOSE
MY INTERNSHIP.
310
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,988
I COULD GET DISBARRED
311
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,222
BEFORE I'M EVEN BARRED.
312
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,757
HOW COULD YOU
DO THIS TO ME?
313
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,759
OH, YOU ACTUALLY THINK
I STOLE A WATCH
314
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,094
AND SHOVED IT
INTO EMMA'S STROLLER?
315
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,062
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?!
YOU'RE A CRAZY PERSON.
316
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:11,865
IF I DO BECOME A LAWYER,
317
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,233
THE FIRST THING
I'M GONNA DO
318
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,267
IS SUE YOU.
319
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,806
- ( "Star Spangled
Banner" playing )
- * AND THE HOME...
320
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,775
* ...OF THE BRAVE!
321
00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,510
Both: WHOO! YEAH!
322
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,745
( grunting )
323
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:32,185
YOU THINK BEN'S ENJOYING
HIS "BORING AND ME" DATE?
324
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,320
- ( scoffs )
- ( mockingly )
WHAT DO YOU THINK
325
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,823
IS BETTER--
BABY OIL OR BABY POWDER?
326
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,324
( seriously )
OH WELL, I PERSONALLY
LIKE THE OIL THE BEST
327
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,960
BECAUSE IT LEAVES
MY SKIN BLEMISH-FREE
328
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,995
AND JUST ALL OVER--
329
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,198
COME ON!
SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY!
330
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,968
OKAY, RULE #1:
331
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,937
NO BABY TALK
IN THE MAN CAVE.
332
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,072
- ( monitor static )
- Ben: Baby Daddy
to Man Cave,
333
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,941
Baby Daddy
to Man Cave.
Come in, Man Cave.
334
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,342
I think we have
a situation up here.
335
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,110
I REPEAT--
336
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,813
WE MAY HAVE
A MOMMY-GONE-WILD
SITUATION UP HERE.
337
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,949
- THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?
- No, it's not.
338
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,350
WELL, IT COULD BE.
339
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,352
I DON'T KNOW.
340
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,855
I GUESS I COULD GO
FOR A LITTLE EXTRA CREDIT.
341
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,556
BEN, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING OUT THERE?
342
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,024
I GOTTA GO. WAIT--
WHAT'S HAPPENING
343
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:14,561
- WITH THE FIGHT?
- Tucker and Danny: Whoa!
Whoa! Yeah!
344
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,528
WHAT?!
345
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,164
- ( frustrated groan )
- ( monitor clicks )
346
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,133
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
347
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,035
PART OF THE
NEIGHBORHOOD
WATCH PROGRAM.
348
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,104
IT WAS MY TURN TO WATCH.
349
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:27,374
THIS CHICKEN IS DELICIOUS.
350
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,376
AND THE-- OH!
THIS WINE--
351
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,244
IT TASTES LIKE...
352
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,812
FREEDOM.
353
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,948
IT IS JUST SO GOOD
354
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,249
TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
355
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:38,385
FIVE HOURS A MONTH
IS ALL I HAVE TO MYSELF
356
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,854
AND I AM GOING
TO SQUEEZE
357
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,622
EVERY LAST
SECOND OUT OF
358
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,991
EVERY ONE OF THEM.
359
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,292
OKAY WELL,
HERE'S TO FREEDOM.
360
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,327
- OH!
- AND MAYBE A QUICK SQUEEZE.
361
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,361
( chuckles )
362
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,332
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT THIS MEANS?
363
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,401
YEAH. WE'RE PAYING
RETAIL FROM NOW ON.
364
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,403
MRS. WHEELER,
YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!
365
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,038
OKAY, LET'S CALM DOWN.
366
00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,606
WE CAN'T TURN ON EACH OTHER.
367
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:01,408
- THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT.
- OH-HO, I'LL SING.
368
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,209
I'LL TELL THEM EVERYTHING.
369
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:05,312
OBVIOUSLY, EMMA JUST
GRABBED IT.
370
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,614
SHE'S AT THAT STAGE.
371
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,548
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN--
372
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,650
WHEN WALKIE-TALKIE TOMMY
GETS BACK IN HERE,
373
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,385
JUST USE YOUR POWERS
OF PERSUASION
374
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,087
AND GET US OUT
OF THIS.
375
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:16,957
WELL, I HAVE PICKED UP
A FEW LEGAL MOVES.
376
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:17,891
I MEANT USE
YOUR SKINNY LITTLE BUTT
377
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,259
AND SHAKE WHAT
WEIGHT WATCHERS GAVE YOU.
378
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,660
HUH? HUH? HUH?
379
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,662
THAT IS CALLED ENTRAPMENT.
380
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,364
OR SOLICITATION,
OR SOMETHING...
381
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,033
( mumbles )
INTERCOAST--
382
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,669
OH WOW,
YOU ARE GOOD AT THIS.
383
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,670
ALL RIGHT, HERE.
384
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,372
FINE, I WILL DO IT.
385
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,241
OKAY.
386
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,976
HUH, YEAH, OKAY.
387
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:37,444
AH, OKAY.
388
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,212
OH MY GOD,
WE'RE SO GOING TO PRISON.
389
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,218
HUH?
390
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,322
- WHAT'S THIS?
- SHH.
391
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,324
20 BUCKS
AND A COFFEE CARD
WITH AT LEAST
392
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,393
FIVE FREEBIES
STILL ON IT.
393
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,395
I DON'T DRINK COFFEE.
394
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,430
AND THAT'S BRIBERY.
395
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,199
OH! THAT'S WHAT IT WAS.
396
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,702
YOU KNOW THE WORST PART
ABOUT MOMMY AND ME?
397
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,037
THE MOMMIES.
398
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,438
"OH IZZY,
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
399
00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,307
IZZY, WHAT'S
WRONG WITH MY BABY?"
400
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,242
HOW THE HELL
SHOULD I KNOW?
IT'S A BABY.
401
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,681
WELL, ISN'T THAT
KIND OF YOUR JOB?
402
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,716
- ( monitor static )
- Tucker: Man Cave
to Baby Daddy.
403
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,717
WHAT'S THAT?
404
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,686
OH, IT'S THE BABY MONITOR.
405
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,388
( scoffs )
PICKS UP A LOT
OF WEIRD STUFF.
406
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,390
LIKE YESTERDAY,
I PICKED UP A TELENOVELA.
407
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,094
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT RAMONA WAS
SAYING TO JORGE,
408
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,362
BUT SHE WAS PISSED.
409
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,397
Danny:
Man Cave to Baby Daddy.
410
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,032
I SHOULD JUST PUT IT AWAY.
411
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,002
AND I AM GONNA GO
FRESHEN UP
412
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,703
BECAUSE I STILL HAVE
THREE AND A HALF HOURS
413
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,105
WORTH OF LIVING TO DO.
414
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,407
- ( door closes )
- COME IN, MAN CAVE.
415
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,708
WHAT'S GOING ON?
416
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,410
Tucker and Danny: Whoa!
417
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,112
WHAT? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
418
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:48,415
- Danny: Oh! And he's down!
- Tucker: Oh my god!
419
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,517
- WHO'S DOWN?!
- ( monitor clicks )
420
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:54,154
IZZY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
I JUST NEED RUN NEXT DOOR
TO BORROW...
421
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,955
SOMETHING I DON'T
HAVE HERE.
422
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,526
HEY! WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE GO OUT DANCING?
423
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,330
BEN?
424
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,298
- NO NO NO NO, GET UP.
- COME ON. GO.
425
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,299
- WHAT DID I MISS?
- ( bell rings )
426
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:07,434
( cheering )
427
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,369
TRULY SAVED BY THE BELL!
428
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,238
YOU JUST MISSED
THE MOST INCREDIBLE ROUND.
429
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,372
( groans )
430
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,107
OKAY WELL, REMEMBER
EVERYTHING.
431
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,442
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN
GET BACK DOWN HERE.
432
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:18,278
WHAT'S WITH THE DOOR?
433
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,412
DON'T CLOSE IT
ALL THE WAY.
434
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,014
IT'LL LOCK
FROM THE OUTSIDE.
435
00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:23,050
( bangs on door )
436
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,386
WELCOME TO MANTOPIA.
437
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,522
DUDE, I THOUGHT
WE SETTLED ON BROTOWN.
438
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,529
HELP!
ANYONE!
439
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,330
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
440
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,099
HOW ARE WE GONNA GET
OUT OF HERE?
441
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,767
I DON'T CARE,
BUT YOUR GIRLY WHINING
442
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,103
IS UPSETTING THE LEVEL
OF MANHOOD IN HERE.
443
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,173
I COULD SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE
444
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,407
IN THIS ROOM.
( chuckles )
445
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,541
UH-OH, CABLE'S OUT.
446
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:51,178
OH MY GOD!
WE'RE GONNA DIE IN HERE!
447
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,580
OH NO!
THEY WILL NEVER FIND US!
448
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,348
YOU CANNOT EAT ME FIRST.
449
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,152
AND ACCORDING
TO STATUTE 189--
450
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,189
OR PERHAPS 237--
451
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,290
OF THE BI-LAWS
OF THIS STATE,
452
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,557
YOU ARE PROHIBITED
FROM HOLDING US
453
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,193
FOR MORE THAN 48 HOURS.
454
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,160
OH GREAT, SO THAT'S...
455
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,596
46 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES
TO GO.
456
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,231
AND I'VE GOT NO PLANS.
457
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,266
WELL, COLOR ME SHOCKED.
458
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,836
HEY! I HAVE DEDICATED MY LIFE
TO PROTECTING THIS MALL.
459
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,538
I DID NOT PICK THIS JOB.
460
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,207
THE JOB PICKED ME.
461
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,609
LOOK, CHARGE US
OR LET US GO.
462
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,478
EITHER WAY,
I'M GONNA NEED TO GET
MY PARKING VALIDATED.
463
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:28,215
I'LL JUST WALKIE
THE COPS, HMM?
464
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,183
THEY'LL GET YOUR
REAL NAME, SIEGFRIED.
465
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,487
WAIT-- MY WALKIE.
466
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:37,590
- WHERE IS IT?
- DON'T PANIC.
467
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,093
YOU HAD IT WITH YOU
WHEN YOU RAN OUT TO
THAT STAFF MEETING.
468
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,328
RIGHT! THE MEN'S ROOM.
469
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,097
YOU TWO DON'T MOVE!
470
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,466
LOCK IT DOWN, PEOPLE!
I'M OFF WALKIE!
471
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:49,102
I REPEAT--
I AM OFF WALKIE!
472
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,203
( whining )
NO NO NO.
473
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,304
WE'RE LOCKED IN.
474
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,140
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
475
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,641
BAM!
476
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,244
AND BAM!
477
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,248
LET'S GO, SIEGFRIED.
478
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,283
- I'M SPRINGING YOU.
- YES!
479
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,253
I'M IN!
480
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,320
NOW GO!
481
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:08,688
CRAWL FOR HELP,
LITTLE BUDDY.
482
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,392
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WHAT AN IDIOT I AM.
483
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,195
- I CAN.
- ME TOO.
484
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:16,196
I RUINED EMMA'S CHANCES.
485
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,165
I JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING
GREAT FOR HER.
486
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,399
BEN, YOU DO SOMETHING
GREAT FOR EMMA
487
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,667
EVERY TIME YOU
LOOK AT HER AND SAY,
488
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,569
"HI, BABY.
IT'S ME, DADDY."
489
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:26,339
- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- I DO.
490
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,275
I'M SORRY I CALLED
YOU SELFISH.
491
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,310
IT'S COOL.
I IGNORED YOU.
492
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,913
WHAT ABOUT YOU, TUCK?
WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?
493
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,548
I'M NOT BUDGING.
494
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,151
WHY DO YOU HAVE
TO BE SO DIFFICULT, TUCKER?
495
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,686
- I JUST APOLOGIZED.
- Tucker: NO.
496
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,588
I'M NOT MOVING.
497
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,590
I AM STUCK.
498
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,726
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
499
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,701
BEN REALLY KNOWS HOW
TO SHOW 'EM A GOOD TIME,
500
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,337
DOESN'T HE?
SHH.
501
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,310
( mimicking baby crying )
502
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,711
I'M UP!
JORDAN, IT'S OK!
503
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,913
MOMMY'S COMING.
504
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,548
OH, GIVE IT A REST,
SUPER MOM.
505
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,283
HI, BONNIE WHEELER,
506
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,418
REAL MOM,
507
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:14,187
AND MY NONDESCRIPT
SIDEKICK.
508
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,323
I'M SORRY.
I GUESS I FELL ASLEEP.
509
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,325
WHAT'S THE DEALIO
WITH YOU?
510
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,460
WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE
THE REST OF US LOOK BAD?
511
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,330
I'M NOT. I'M JUST TRYING
TO MAKE EVERYTHING PERFECT.
512
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:25,332
HOW'S THAT WORKING
FOR YOU?
513
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,599
LOOK, I'VE RAISED
TWO BOYS,
514
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,201
AND I'M HERE
TO TELL YOU THAT
515
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,337
THERE IS NO SUCH THING
AS PERFECT.
516
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,205
THEY MIGHT BE SMALL,
517
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:34,307
BUT A BABY CAN TAKE
YOU DOWN.
518
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,477
GETTING THROUGH THE DAY
IN ONE PIECE--
519
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,946
THAT, MY FRIEND,
IS JOB DONE.
520
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,648
I KNOW.
( sighs )
521
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,716
I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M DOING.
522
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:47,220
I TRY AND I TRY,
BUT ALL I WANT TO DO
523
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:48,521
- IS TAKE A NAP.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
524
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,557
A REALLY REALLY LONG NAP.
525
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,760
THIS KID IS SUCKING
THE LIFE OUT OF ME.
526
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:56,396
OH, I FEEL YOU, LIZZY.
527
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,530
- IZZY.
- WHATEVER.
528
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,301
NOT THAT ANYBODY
SEEMS TO CARE,
529
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,536
BUT, UM, WHERE'S BEN?
530
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,406
Tucker:
HELP! CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?
531
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,475
WE'RE STUCK
IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
532
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,613
I GUESS ONE
OF US SHOULD GO.
533
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,516
Tucker:
ANYONE!
WE'RE DESPERATE!
534
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,551
AND I REALLY NEED
TO USE THE BATHROOM.
535
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,258
WE'RE SAVED!
536
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,726
IZZY, IT'S NOT
HOW IT LOOKS.
537
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,461
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE HIDING
OUT IN A LAUNDRY ROOM
538
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,797
DRINKING BEER
WHILE YOUR FRIEND
IS STUCK IN A VENT.
539
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:35,234
- HEY, TUCK.
- OH HEY, GIRL.
540
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,671
LOOK, I'M SORRY,
541
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:41,408
BUT CLEARLY EMMA
AND I AREN'T READY
FOR YOUR CLASS.
542
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,709
I JUST DON'T HAVE
IT TOGETHER LIKE
YOU DO.
543
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,512
SHE PASSED OUT
ON YOUR COUCH.
544
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,380
THANKS.
545
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:50,650
I KINDA OWE YOU
AN APOLOGY.
546
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,519
I JUST WANTED A NIGHT OFF
WITH A COOL GUY.
547
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,387
I DIDN'T KNOW
HOW ELSE TO DO IT.
548
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,423
SO THE APPROVAL PROCESS?
549
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,824
DON'T REALLY HAVE ONE.
550
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:00,527
WHAT A COINCIDENCE--
NEITHER DO I.
551
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,395
( laughing )
552
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,030
SO MAYBE
WE CAN START OVER.
553
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,499
I WOULD LIKE THAT
VERY MUCH.
554
00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:08,535
- CHIP?
- AW YES. STARVING.
555
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,570
- WHO'S WINNING?
- HEY, CAN I GET A BEER?
556
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,839
- YEAH, HERE.
- THANKS.
557
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:13,840
MM, YEAH.
558
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,442
Tucker:
STILL HERE.
559
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,577
A LITTLE HELP
HERE, PLEASE. OKAY.
560
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,313
- OH YEAH!
- OH. ( chuckles )
561
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:24,050
OKAY. DON'T ACT LIKE
Y'ALL CAN'T HEAR ME.
562
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,285
HEY, I MADE THAT DIP!
39505
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.