Original subtitles

Z hold fast to the law

z of the last cold Tome

z where the earth of the truth

♪ lies thick upon the page

z and the loam of faith

♪ in the ink long fled

z from the drone of the nib flows on

♪ till the last of the first depart

♪ and the least of the past is dust

2z and the dust

2z the dust is lost

z hold fast

♪ gormenghast

♪ gormenghast, ♪

Congratulations, my ladies! You've never been braver or more brilliant!

- Will we get our coaches? - Of course,

but you must do as I told you.

- Will we get our thrones? - You will have everything.

Now go back to your apartments and wait.

Hero steerpike!

As I say, master secretary...

This day...

Two months hence...

My lady, the bird.

I say...

Oh... nurse!

The child!

I want a breakfast for him. It's as simple as that!

He is my son, isn't he?

Are you hungry, my little love?

The time chosen, lordship, is when we should be celebrating the laureate.

The poet can wait!

Why is everybody so old?

- The solst... the solst... - The solstice!

The solstice can't! Neither, therefore, can the consecration of the moat.

Irma, my dear.

Clearly scheduled for that day by rote and moon!

Squallor, what's wrong with your sister?

It's a case of atmosphere as far as I can judge,

at very short notice, your ladyship.

- It's smoke, Alfred! Smoke! - Flay, open the door.

I think the matter is settled, mr secretary.

As this gathering was sanctioned, without recourse to me,

I shall consider its conclusions to be nothing more than an aberration

that shall go unnoted and recorded

and unrepeated!

Door locked, lordship.

Locked, Alfred! The door's locked!

Argh! What's that?!

It was a bird, my dear, flying high...

Out of the smoke.

Mrs slagg, kindly convey his minute lordship to the door

and hold his mouth to the keyhole.

Keyhole?! I never heard of such a thing.

- Where's my rook? - It's getting thicker.

- What are we going to do, dr pru? - Is there another door, lordship?

Not for years. I don't know where it is!

Well, then, could we breach the original? Battery of assault? That kind of thing?

- Flay! - Oak, lordship. Four inch.

Alfred! Flames!

Flay!

Take his young master to the door, as I told you!

We're going to be trapped by flames, Alfred!

Dr pru!

Damn gathering! This is what you get for unprecedented breakfasts!

Flames! My library!

Slagg! The child! The keyhole!

My books, my books!

Alfred!

Irma, my humiliating sister, please sit down! Alfred will do the rest!

- We're going to die! - Oh, sit down, damn you!

- Squallor! - Lady fuchsia, please be so good

as to see that mrs slagg keeps Titus by the door.

- Squallor, is that you? - It is, or rather, prunesquallor,

which is, if I may say so, more strictly correct.

Quiet, man! Smash a window.

- Yes, your ladyship. - Dr pru!

Over here. It's mrs slagg!

The baby! Hold him to the keyhole!

No, no, lie still. There is air beneath the door. Yes, lie...

- Yes, doctor. - Flay!

Mr flay, where is the largest window?

The north wall.

Can't reach it. No balcony.

Alfred!

Young ladyship, give me the child, give me the child.

Now, find your father and ask him to throw his cane at the window.

Yes.

Is that you, fuchsia? Where's master chalk?!

Damn the bird! Find your father and tell him to smash the glass!

What did you say, squallor?! Come here!

- My books, my books... - Father?

The doctor said your cane, father...

Mr flay! Dr pru! The secretary's on fire! He's burning!

Here, hold your son!

Mr flay!

My books, my books!

Leave him, flay! Take your master's cane and throw it at the window!

My books!

Throw it, man!

Not heavy enough, madam!

Paperweight on the table! Find it! Throw the paperweight!

Where? I can't find it!

Then climb the shelves to the window and smash it with your father's cane!

Well, help her, mr flay!

Master chalk! Master chalk!

Alfred! I am your sister!

Keep steady, Irma. Just keep steady!

Flay, hand her ladyship the cane! She can reach the window from there.

Help! I can't breathe! Get off me! Get off!

The cane!

My books! My books!

Hold your horses! I'm letting down the ladder!

My books!

My books!

Where's my bird? Where is he?

Boy, wait!

Master chalk! Where is he?

Here, take him!

Take him out of here.

Out of here! Hold him!

Flay!

Mrs slagg!

Good man, flay, good man!

Come now, mrs slagg, first the left foot, then the right.

- Your young ladyship. - Thank you, dr PR...

After you, your ladyship.

We shall speak, squallor. You damned my bird!

Alfred!

Come, squirming sister of mine, it's time to breathe the air.

And you, you, sir, mr secretary.

Ohh...

Lordship... lordship...

My books! My books!

- Let me help you, my lord. - No! Not you!

My books...

My books...

My books... they burnt my books!

Come now, my dear.

My son?

- You said, "the boy." - My son.

Where is my son?

You said, "bring the boy," lordship. The rescuer.

It's him.

I meant my son.

Not him.

I said, "I want my son!"

You'll see your son for this damned breakfast. Get out!

It was a great privilege to help, my lord...

I said, "out!"

Stand there grimacing like a red-arsed baboon! Get out!

Thank you, lordship.

I see the iron rule - no change!

- Who was that? - No damned gatherings!

By the rote! By the way of the stone!

Would you care to take the air of the day, lordship?

Damned library! Damned breakfast! None of this should have happened!

- Doctor...? - Lordship?

Who?

Who... burnt my books?

They will look at us at the breakfast.

Because we are of the original blood.

And because we are perfect.

- Why don't you knock? - I beg pardon, your ladyships.

Where's our thrones?

- You said we'd have them. - When we'd done the burning.

Every successful revolution has its own pace, your ladyships.

Too slow, you rot. Too fast, you fail.

- Slow? - Rot?

- Fast? - Both: What?

Don't rush. Power must have secure foundations.

Do you want your coaches? Your servants?

- Our thrones! - Do you want them for a weekend?

And then have to give them back?

- We'll never give them back! - Because we haven't got them!

Not yet, but you will.

Why don't you listen to me?

Haven't I helped you?

Look how far you've come already.

Don't you trust me?

Do you want me to go away? I can. I can go any time you want me to.

He told us to burn, didn't he?

We can tell them what he said.

We can say...

Both: Thrones!

I have no doubt which one you'll choose.

It is unique in the whole history of thrones.

- Both: That one! - How right you are!

I shall see the goldsmith in the morning.

- I want mine soon. - Sodol

ladies, why insult me? Why insult yourselves?

These are objects of art. They take time!

What? Do you want to be considered laughing stocks,

sitting on great big yellow stools?

If you want the best, you have to wait!

- Wait? - Did he say wait?!

- I don't think we'll wait! - I think we'll tell them...

Both: What he said!

You will wait!

And you will sit down and wait!

And any more talk of burning and you will be hanged!

Hanged from your tree at the castle wall with the hangman's rope!

I will see to it personally.

Do you understand me?

Good.

Now, you will have your thrones. They will be the finest ever made.

All you have to do is listen...

To me.

Now go to the breakfast, as you have been invited, as part of the family.

Keep your mouths shut. Do you understand?

You shall have it all...

Gormenghast!

All of it. All yours.

Now... what do you say?

Both: Thank you.

One by one... we shall stock another three tonight.

This is where the poets will be.

The philosophers over there, I think, hmm?

It takes much thought to build a library.

How many have we done so far?

- Seven shelves, father. - Then three more, child! Three more!

Yes, father.

That's it, that's it! Now we have space for the sonian poets.

Have you the books ready?

I've collected them here.

Who are you?

I'm your daughter.

I have a son.

I know that.

He is...

Titus.

He will be Earl of gormenghast...

When I am dead.

He is my brother.

And so you are my daughter, are you?

What's your name?

Fuchsia.

Fuchsia?

I don't think I know a fuchsia.

Do I?

Do I know you, fuchsia?

I suppose we don't know each other that well,

but I should very much like to know you better.

Ah, would you?

Mm-hm.

Yes, I see.

The books, then, fuchsia.

Oh! Here are the poets you asked for.

Shall I start putting them on the first long shelf for you?

The poets! Ah, yes, the poets!

We should never have had the poets.

They tell us, you see.

Their pen is the pulse... fuchsia.

Their voice is the bell.

Their words...

Travel down...

And down...

And...

On...

And on...

Ilnto nothing...

And on...

Into such nothing... and nothing...

And nothing...

Father? The books?

Gormen...

Oh, no, no, no! Father, please!

I can't bear it!

Please!

I think you've made a mistake.

You are not my daughter.

How could you be?

Come here and I'll tell you.

Come, come.

I am not your father.

You see, I live... up there...

You see...

I am the death owl.

My little precious!

Mmmm-wah!

Oh.

Goodnight, mr flee.

Won't be long before I go, little one.

It's nearly my time.

Feel your little sister.

She's moving. Feel her.

You'll learn from her things you'll never learn here, I promise you.

I hate it here.

But they won't have me down outside, will they?

I hate them, too.

She's better than all of them,

and she's better than you, too,

though you'll never admit it.

Sleep well, little boy.

Dream of her.

What's the time? What? What?

That's his lordship's kitchen bell!

It's not sunrise!

It's not time for the breakfast!

What does he want to go and ring his bell for in the middle of the night?

What? Breakfast?

We ain't even done the quails' eggs yet!

What's he playing at?

Oi! Slugs!

Get up!

Move!

Father!

Lordship?

Lordship?

Lordship!

Lordship!

Lordship!

Lordship?

Hoo-hoo!

Lordship!

- Father? - Hoo!

Father?

- Hoo-hoo! - Father, stop doing that!

Please listen. I love you!

No! Out, fart! This not for you! Back to vile kitchen!

Chef! Chef! Have you set your traps?

Traps, sir?

Traps! Are you deaf?

Are they full or have the cats got them?

Ah...! Yeah, yeah. Mousetraps!

No, no, no, the cats are out for the night.

What are you waiting for?

Bring me a mouse!

Twigs! Every kind.

I intend to study the twig as one should.

Study and build.

A nest, you idiot!

Hoo-00!

Hoo-hoo-hoo!

Doctor? Can you do something?

Yes... take this, mr swelter.

Lordship?

Hoo.

- May I be of assistance? - Hoo.

May I be of help, doctor? I heard the bell.

Who are you?

It's steerpike, lordship, my assistant.

Talk to him, boy. Get his attention.

I assist the doctor in his dispensary, sir.

You may remember me from the library.

The library?!

My library!

Help me, steerpike! Onto the bed with him!

Now, handle him carefully. Do not ruffle his feathers.

A wing. Give me the wing.

- A what? - Arm! His arm, boy!

That was quick work, doctor. What chemical was that?

I'm in no mood for the pharmaceutical, master steerpike.

Mr flay, hot water. Washed and brushed. Get him dressed for the breakfast.

- Breakfast, sir? - Yes. Why not?

Lordship is as lordship does.

- Will he be able to go? - We'll do our best, my little friend.

My dear chef, why do you look so blue?

I will prepare the breakfast, as you say, doctor.

Good.

Soon, mr flay.

- Oh, doctor... - Mmm?

Why is everything going so wrong?

Argh! Nothing!

Agh!

Nothing! Argh!

And you! Have you never seen a fork before?

It goes here! Here!

How can I be expected to lay the table for a feast that isn't even in the damn book?!

Huh?!

And will the ass come? Having put us to all this, will the ass come?

Thinks he's a bird! "Hoo! Hoo!"

You... you can button your lip, arse-wipe!

Anything I say here is not for repetition by the likes of you.

Do you understand? Damned breakfast!

My husband is now an owl, master chalk.

I'd say it was an improvement.

Ladyship!

He's in his lavender velvet, ladyship.

So what?

Well, I've never done a breakfast, ladyship.

Secretary barquentine said lavender for his smallness.

So why are you asking me? Go away.

- Yes, ladyship. - Wait...

I know this is difficult for you,

but I want you to try and answer a simple question.

Ladyship?

Stop saying, "ladyship"! I haven't asked you anything yet.

Who is that youth - spearkite? Where did you meet him?

Long ago, ladyship...

I said where, not when.

With the... with lady fuchsia, madam.

And where does he come from?

Well, where could he come from, ladysh... madam?

He must come from somewhere.

The same brilliant slagg.

Uh...

And stop crying.

Birds don't cry, cats don't cry,

so why should nannies?

Go away.

Oh.

Oh!

Spearkite? What do you think, master chalk?

Motley for the madman?

You should put bells on it.

- What do you want? - You, as a matter of fact.

The doctor says, "hurry up.”

- Me? Doctor? What for? - You, flay.

Lordship... no trousers.

Ho0-000-000!

Flay... can't make whole sentence!

Never mind, flay.

Ho0-000-000!

Good servant...

If a bit simple.

You dare, boy!

Lick my neck!

Me dirty!

Too much underling in the air!

Out!

You... throw my cat...

You touch my cat...

You... are no more!

You are ended!

This castle...

Ejects you!

You stay one week.

One week.

And another servant shall be found for the Earl.

One week, and one week only, and then you go.

Now, we have seen true madness, haven't we, my little ones?

True, true madness.

Doctor! Where the hell is he?!

I am here, sir.

- Mr secretary, you may begin. - Chef!

Now!

Ahem! The first breakfast...

As unwarranted by tradition... Creates a precedence.

A precedence, once accepted, becomes tradition...

Fuchsia: I can't bear it! I love him so much.

I must be brave. There's no-one else to look after him.

Or, as in this case, caused by the unhealthy love of a father for his son.

Get on with it, you idiot. Cat thrower!

Remarkable phenomenon. What is it? Can it be defined?

Mother won't look after him.

Banished!

Of course not! Therefore, clearly our precedent cannot be founded on love,

neither can it on the accidental or the irrational.

We, therefore, of necessity...

Darkness.

Must seek our precedent as one founded in reason.

I can't keep giving him the pills.

That damned owl will hoot again sooner or later.

I must get a man!

A man, a man, a man! What else is there?

Reason is the all and everything...

Soon, mr flee!

Reason is developed thus... Point one - the child, Titus,

before us, is the young lord.

Point two - young lord is heir to it, all and everything...

Obviously includes breakfast...

- We want our thrones. - Point four - breakfast is food.

And, finally, point five - food is produced by the peasants!

- So, simply put... - I want my daddy!

The precedent is set and laid in the stones as follows...

Darkness!

On this day,

at this time, every year, as the years roll...

Darkness!

- Daddy! - ..In honour of the heir's right

- to sustenance... - Darkness!

My books are alight!

The peasants shall provide his lordship's breakfast!

I want my books!

- Daddy! - I want my books!

- I want my daddy! - Black owl!

- Oh, my weak heart! - Hoo-hoo!

Daddy!

- Hoo-hoo! - Lordship!

- Daddy! - Get him down!

I have a son! Where is my son? Hoo!

Daddy!

- Daddy! - Lordship!

Lordship... lordship. Mr flay.

- Mr flay. - Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

Who has done this?

Hoo... hoo... hoo... hoo.

Hoo... hoo...

Hoo...

Hoo-hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!

- Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - No, no, my lord.

Your perch is elsewhere.

Come, come fly! Fly home. Left wing.

Anything I can do, doctor?

No?

Sure?

Anything at all?

- Is there any hope for him? - Hope? For his lordship?

Hope? Oh, that is a concept of the highest order, ladyship!

A hopeful concept - hope.

Squallor, do we have any?

- My sister hopes for a male, ladyship. - I beq...?

- My sister... - I heard you the first time.

Your sister? A man?

Spends her days in the bath. Hope Springs eternal, I believe, is the correct...

Squallor, get out!

I want reports on his lordship every hour on the hour.

- Have I made myself clear? - Yes.

- As the great chime of the great... - Out!

Oh.

Something stinks, my dears. And it's not squallor.

Poor little lordship! Oh, your poor old nannie.

We mustn't let that little wet head get cold.

Aw! Where's that girl?

Where have you been, you naughty girl?

You know very well it's the day for his little lordship's all over.

What are you doing?

It's time, nannie. I've been waiting for you to get back.

You can't go! I'll tell her ladyship! Don't I have enough on my plate?

Come here, little one.

You can't go back to them out there, because they hate you!

You're having a bastard.

Maybe I won't go there.

- Where, then? - I don't know.

I wish I could take you with me. I love you, little one.

You'll remember your tiny sister, won't you?

It's not his sister! Don't ever say that! Sister indeed!

Don't matter what you say, nannie. Or me. He'll know.

Don't go!

What'll I do?

Bye, nannie. Bye, my little boy.

Bye.

Don't go!

You can't!

Oh! Oh, my weak heart! Ohh!

Hoo-hoo!

Tonight... my precious.

Tonight... mr flee!

Hss-sss-55s-sss-sss... l

What is it, master chalk?

For you, my little red and wet pretty one!

And then I shall wipe you dry with silk!

Mr flay!

Huh?

Kitchen scum!

Grrr!

Hoo!

Hoo-hoo!

- Come here! - Lordship! Lordship!

Ah!

They will take me in.

Hoo-hoo.

- Lordship? - Hoo-hoo!

Grrr!

Goodnight, mr flee.

Kitchen slug at your service!

Delicious!

Scum! Always!

Goodnight, manservant flee!

Wait, wait, my precious.

You shall be clean and silvery before you eat.

And now...

For dinner!

Now, my pretty one!

We have him!

Death!

Servant!

Now!

Hoo!

There is much to be done, flay.

They will enjoy him.

Lordship?

Heave, mr flay! Heave!

This is my hour, you see?

Heave, mr flay.

Heave!

This is my time.

Lord?

Go now.

Goodbye, my dear mr flay.

Oh, no, lordship!

Gormenghast!

Goodbye, mr flay.

- Anything? - No sign.

Come on! Let's be having you.

- You! Third stairs! Take the dog! - Yes, sir.

Is the east wing completed?

The east wing has 638 rooms on the first floor,

503 on the second and 700 on the third.

- Captain rottcodd! - Not counting auxiliary buildings,

extensions, follies, anterooms,

closets, attics, basements,

untrod passages, unknown regions, darkness and rot.

And have you found him?

Not a lord groan in any of them, master sneerbite!

Steerpike!

And don't get on the wrong side of me, rotgut,

or I'll see you scrub stone on the jailhouse floor!

Look and look again.

His lordship will be found.

Captain rottcodd, call off the dogs!

Come with me, snakeshite!

You'll regret that.

- Not found him? - Nine days.

- Not found him?! - Searched nine days!

75 earls in the history of time.

Not one has ever gone missing!

They die, abdicate, go mad,

take up arms, kill each other,

eat their children, mutilate themselves,

split, shrink, decompose,

but never, never disappear!

An Earl is the mast! He is the path,

the marrow in the bone!

Without him we are hollow!

I am aware of the traditions and history of this castle.

- The chef, swelter, have you found him? - Chef?!

A chef cooks! What is there to cook if the master is not there to eat?

Chef, he comes and goes - nothing.

Lordship is all!

- Secretary barquentine... - No!

Your ladyship,

greatest, greatest respect,

I am secretary to us,

responsible to it all!

Nine days!

Nine days. No ceremony, no obeisance, no authority,

no daily rite and passage!

No heart pumping the blood of rule!

We are... disrupted.

His lordship is gone! Long live his lordship!

What did you say? "Long live his lordship."

- Titus? - Exactly.

- Titus is barely a year old. - Long may he live!

We shall prepare the earling...

- Barquentine! - Next Thursday.

It's the longest day. It is propitious.

You may go.

An earling, your ladyship. There is much to be done.

Lord groan?

He's gone. History.

There is no alternative to what I say.

Then you must do it, mr secretary. Now go.

Open them up, you bastard!

- What is this? - That is the book of the law, sir.

What is law?

That which always has been, sir.

That which always has been! Good, good, good. What else?

It is destiny, sir.

Law is destiny. And...

Obedience...

1s tradition! Don't forget that.

Hm? That is the all and everything. Do you understand?

- Yes, sir. - Good.

You are an obsequious ass. There is work to be done. Too much work.

Who is your master?

None, sir. I try to make myself useful here and there.

Oh, don't try and rook me, sneersight!

I see through you, bones and brain!

Your master is the doctor! No doubt he'll be pleased to be rid of you.

No more here and there, here and there for you! Here, here! By me, you understand?

I'm now your master!

You may be useful. We have an earling.

Rafts to be built. It is all here.

Come on, come on!

Read it. Study.

How much will I be paid, sir?

What?! Rat!

Your keep!

And the honour of studying time itself...

The runes of gormenghast!

- Are you ready? - I've never been more so, sir.

Then start! The earling!

Read!

Well, well. You did ask me.

Earling...

Earling...

- An earling? - Our brother's dead.

- Our brother's gone. - So why give the power to a baby?

Both: It's ours!

So why should we wait?

- Mr steerpike. - Mr steerpike?

We must see about mr steerpike, mustn't we?

- He told us to do it, didn't he? - He told us to burn, didn't he?

So we can tell them what he said, can't we?

Of course we can.

Both: Mmm!

Oh, look at you, me lovely smallness!

No father - not that I'd call him a father - to look after you.

No fat chef to cook for you.

No mr flay.

Still we can do without that long string of black bone, can't we, hmm?

- Fuchsia: No, we can't. - I wasn't talking to you!

I was talking to your little brother.

I don't care who you were talking to. We can't do without mr flay,

we can't do without my father either.

I don't care how wonderful Titus is, he's just a baby!

The top, and by the top I mean the very last cubic inch, of the morning to you,

my dears!

Are we enjoying this delicious breeze?

Dr pru, I'm so glad you've come!

Delighted to see you, my dear.

And, mrs slagg, at peace, I hope? Carnally speaking, that is.

I ebb and I flow.

And what is it that ebbs and what that flows, my dear little woman?

Is it your heart that's tidal? Or your nerves or your liver, bless you?

- Doctor, can I talk to you? - Yes.

- And please don't use any long words. - Ah.

I have some terrible worries.

My dear ladyship, always a shoulder, or an ear,

or indeed any part of my anatomy, at your disposal.

Oh, Alfred, their ladyships!

To hell with the old trouts. Breastless as wallpaper.

My last postmortem had more life in it.

Ladyships!

- We've seen someone. - Are you referring to me, ladyships?

Don't be stupid. We're talking to you, aren't we?

Ah.

There!

Ah, raft-makers, preparing for the earling.

Only four days now, young lordship.

What was that? I heard a splash!

I'm not surprised, my butterfly.

Why are you so tiresome? Why are you not surprised?

Because that is exactly what it is, my peahen -

an authentic, undiluted splash.

And made by our ex-dispenser, now assistant to barquentine,

if these eyes can recognise a certain naked appendage

as one attached to a certain steerpike! Hmm!

We are the only ladies present, aren't we?

What about it?

We'll go down to the water's edge and unbend to him.

Will it hurt?

Oh, why are you so ignorant?

I only just saw you, lady fuchsia! How is your health, miss Irma?

Oh!

Watch yourselves, ladies, you'll get wet.

Ladies, you do me too much honour! Ladies...!

We are unbending to you, mr steerpike.

Because there's so much that you told us to do.

And so much that we could say, mr steerpike.

Be quiet, you idiots!

Sit down at once!

Oh!

Now go back to your apartments. Any more talk of fire,

and it will be the hangman for you!

- Hang... - Man!

Do you understand? Now go!

- Beats me, doctor. - You beat me to the very pap, dear boy.

Have a heart and swim away.

We're so tired of the sight of your abdomen.

Forgive its magnetism.

Ah.

Good day to you, lady fuchsia.

You will be careful of him, won't you, my dear young ladyship?

Of course, dr PR...

0oo0000000h!

Your throats are white and long for strangling!

Sisters of a brother sent mad by burning!

You shall hang!

Oooh, oooh-ooh!

Oooh, oooh-ooh! Ooh!

Are you skulks ready?!

Then push off, idiots!

Push off!

So, the tiniest thing in the world is an Earl today.

Some day they're going to come and take him away from me.

Fuchsia: They didn't take me, did they?

Well, they don't take silly girls, do they?

Well, they should, shouldn't they?

Oh!

Come on, come on!

It'll be winter before we're done! Move!

Hold! More to the west!

And hide your damned selves...

Under the damned water!

Under the damned water!

The day has come!

Young lordship...

The castle... awaits your sovereignty!

From horizon to horizon...

All is yours!

For god's sake, pick it up!

Pick it up, one of you!

Give the little runt his stone back! And the Ivy!

I'll do it!

Stay where you are, beerspot!

Come back here, you idiot!

Come back, you idiot!

Hooo! Hooo!

Oh! He's behaving his damned self! Ohh!

In view of all...

1...

Warden of the immemorial rites...

Do proclaim... you to be the only legitimate lord...

Between earth... and sky!

Oh, my weak heart!

Titus... groan!

The 77th Earl...

0of gormenghast!

Oh.

Titus!

All: Titus!

Titus! Titus!

Titus!

Titus! Titus! Titus! Titus!

Titus! Titus!

Titus! Titus! Titus! Titus!

Titus! Titus!

Titus! Titus! Titus! Titus!

How nice to be born a groan.