Original subtitles

[Opening Music]

[Rachel clears her nose]

Urgh I think I was allergic to whatever was in that drink

I had at The Glass House.

Are you listening to me, Sarah?

I'm trying to tell you why my nose is clogged!

Oh, sorry,

I'm just realising how much Wollongong has changed

over the last few years.

I can barely recognise it now.

I welcome new infrastructure, Sarah.

Oh! I remember this place.

The Sticky Floor!

We used to come here all the time

when we were teenagers.

Oh yeah, I remember getting into a fight

with some stupid cunt here one night.

Let's go inside and check it out.

[keyboards typing]

(Robotic voice) Greetings Humans.

Would you like to participate in all night gaming?

What happened to this place?

It's completely changed!

Sarah? Rachel?

I - I can't believe it.

Have you really entered MY realm?

EW, it's you!

This used to be a nightclub called The Sticky Floor,

what happened to it?

Oh, the ownership changed years ago

after they found a smelly corpse under the couch!

For the last few years this has been an internet cafe

SLASH card shop SLASH gathering spot

for like minded souls like myself,

my friend Samuel-

Howdy hooooo.

and Lord Dominator Destroyer, my other friend here.

Umm, I would like to stand up right now and s-say hello!

Cool... Um,

- Do you wanna leave, Rachel? - Yes.

[locked door]

Why won't this door open?

Hello, currently we are holding all night gaming,

so it is policy not to let anyone out

until they have gamed all night.

That policy makes no SEENNSEEE!

[Crash]!

Finally, I can be a robot ghost in robot heaven, yeah.

ZUBULORE!

Why must you smite our epic robot-zore!

I shall throw delicious bacons

at you and use my dark magic on you

to curse you fool!

Ten points to Hufflepuff!

[Crash]!

Come girls!

I promise, if you just watch us game a bit,

it shall be way funner than any club

you could possibly go to.

Urghhh, I guess we're stuck here?

I suppose we could try and have some fun.

Alright, just watch us play this round,

so you can learn the rules.

First, you click here and then you go there

and then you get this mythic sword

and then you slaughter this enemy.

- Pfft, mythic Sword?

Of course, you don't get the mythic sword,

you get the Zithilion Mace

of which I have a replica of right here.

It's far more superior than the mythic sword.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THAT IS RIDICULOUS!

THE MACE IS INFERIOR!

HOW DARE YOU DISPARAGE MY EPIC MACE.

THAT IS BLASPHEMOUS TO THE ZITHILION GODS.

The Zithilion Gods don't exist!!!

(Samuel) 1-0-11-0-1-00-1.

Uhh, I'm going to the bathroom.

I'm coming with you.

Why do women go to the toilet together?

I find it curious.

Maybe they are having SEX together in there.

- OOOOOOOOOOOOO! - OOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Stop it! That's very inappropriate.

Urgh, urgh, urgh, almost there.

Just gotta get rid of some of this stuff.

(SIGH) Remember in 2006

when I was vomiting in that cubicle over there?

So many memories.

Who cares, it's just an old bathroom.

These are the places that crafted us as people,

Rachel.

I swear 2006 was the year

I was having the most fun in my life.

Hmm, Sarah wants to go back to 2006?

I can make that happen!

[action music]

AI Paw Paw Cream Tube!

- Yes, Master Lucas?

Aid me in coding a simulated reality

of what this internet cafe used to be in 2006,

The Sticky Floor.

- Yes, Master Lucas.

[laser beam]

[drunk man]

Mmm, yummy, kebab.

[snap]!

[munching]

Let's go out to talk to them.

I've got an idea how we can leave.

(Sigh) - Sure.

Let us leave or I'll deck ya.

Wait Sarah, I made a game you might like, perhaps?

A 2006 simulator of The Sticky Floor

exactly how it was in 2006.

Oh wow, that actually sounds really fun!

Ha, yes I mean... yes I mean...

Yes.

So how do I play?

You just observe your old memories

in the game version, exactly how they happened.

Thanks to AI being able to analyse

all the atoms that have ever existed

to make an accurate past experience.

Aw that's sweet of you, Lucas.

AhhhHH, AHHHHH thank you, Sarah!!

The graphics look like shit.

You should have done it in Unreal Engine,

not Unity.

[sauce drips]

Oh no, Rachel! What have you done?

Argh, Arghhh!

[club music]

Oh my god, I can't believe it!

We're back in 2006!

Deary me,

Sarah and Rachel are trapped in my computer creation.

I've gotta get them out of there.

[dramatic music]

Damn it.

Why did you make the code so complex

AI PAW PAW CREAM TUBE?

Sorry master, I love you.

(SIGH) No matter.

I will find a way to code them out of this computer.

Everybody sing the 2006 song!

OH, again?

We're tired, mate.

Sing and dance or I'll cry again,

I'll cry again, I'll cry again. - Argh! [singing]

What a strange time, what a cool time,

everyone's got straightened hair.

We like listening to Sigur Ros.

We have a photo bucket account.

I winked at my friend on MSN,

a little graphic came up

where a hand knocked on the screen-e-een.

Little Miss Sunshine came out, Little Miss Sunshine came out,

Little Miss Sunshine came out in the theatres.

Oh my god!

This is a dream come true.

Wait? We're actually back in 2006?

That means I can get a $2.50 schooner.

I'm going to the bar.

Alright, I'm going to go on the dancefloor

to soak this in,

this is sooooo cool!

[pushing, shoving]

OI! Watch it, bitch.

You watch it, bitch.

[tense music]

I want that kebab.

Get your own, cunt.

Give it. Give it here! Give it! Give it-

Get off, get off me! Get - GET OFF ME!

[dance music]

Oh my god, I remember this.

I used to have a crush on Jasko Higgins,

I got too drunk one night

and tried to ask him to go to the year 10 formal with me.

I just pre-drank a whole bottle of vodka

and I just wanted to say, HIIIII.

We go to school together and I was wondering -

Please, get away from me.

You're intoxicated

and you're not making the right choices right now.

I would rather not take advantage of someone

who is inebriated under alcohol.

Thank you.

[weeping]

[dramatic music]

There has to be some kind of commands

that I can implement that can extract Sarah and Rachel

from the code.

- Let me try.

[computer] Infinite recursion has occurred.

Forced shut down will commence in 10 minutes

due to overheating.

You fool, Samuel!

(Samuel) Glorious bacon!

Step aside, brethren.

Now you will truly know the power of the Zithilion Gods.

I told you Lord Dominator Destroyer,

they don't exist!

Hmm.

Oh?

[epic music]

[zap]!

Arrrghh!

[thump / beep]

You made it worse...

(Whimpers) I'm sorry.

[vomiting / crying]

Hey, it's alright.

I'll help you hold my -

I mean, your hair up.

(CRYING) Thank you,

I hate my life.

Why is my life so shit?

Your life isn't shit.

You never know, you might see this era

as the best time in your life one day.

No, it sucks!

I hate 2006.

I just wish I was older.

I want to be more mature,

so people will take me more seriously.

Trust me, you don't want that.

[dramatic music / fighting]

Rachel! What are you doing?

Shut up, you old bitch.

Don't you dare tell Sarah to shut up.

[crash]!

I want that kebab.

NEVERRRRRR!

Urhhh....ughh... urhh...

[bang, bang, bang]!

Urghhhh...

No no no no -

[zap]

Where did my fighting buddy go?

I was just about to let her have a bite of my kebab,

I promise.

What happened? There's nothing around us.

No, I failed.

My darling, Sarah.

She's gone and it's all my fault!

- Now playing on Spotify...

“She's Gone

and It's All My Fault by the Smegans. ”

(singing) She's gone it's all my fault -

Shut up!

- Urr, urr, urr, Where are we?! - I don't know!

I am the computer glitch!

I am big and scary

ROARR and I'm coming closer to eat you.

ROAR. The computer turned off.

ROAR. I'm gonna eat your yummy feminine juices.

- AAHHH - AHHH

Why are we always gonna die?!

I just wanna go CLUBBING!

The fear of that scary thing is making me realise

it was silly to wish to be in the past,

and the future...

I've got to be more...

wait, Rachel,

I know how to get out of here!

- Huh? - Grab onto my hands!

We need to be more...

“present ”.

How do I do that?

I'm coming to get ya!

ROAR. I'm almost at ya's!

ROAR.

I don't know, I struggle with it too...

but maybe we just need to stop and think

about something...

that we both have right here in front of us.

[surreal music]

Oh.. yeah, I guess... that works too.

[crunch]!

Nooo, I wanted to eat them.

MMMMM (smacks lips) bilblblblbl

[crash /thump]! Oh, thank heavens!

How did you know how to do that Sarah?

My mum's hippie friend from Bulli

said that you can solve any problem

if you actively decide to be more present in life!

Fuck, you're so fucking smart, Sarah.

(computer voice) All night gaming, over.

Doors unlocked.

[beep]

Oh look, the suns coming up.

For accidentally trapping you

in a Rick and Morty-esque simulation of my creation,

how about we all do a Chickengong run?

My shout!

Yay, Chickengong run!

(SILLY VOICE) Ummm HELOOoo can I pleeease have-

- No, don't do a silly voice, these kids get paid minimum wage

just to be abused all day they don't need that shit.

- Sorry... I was trying to make you guys laugh.

- It's not funny mate,

just say the order properly please.

- Sorry Rachel.

Hi, just ah...

five Chickengong burgers, please.