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1
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♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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[Marge] Hmm.
3
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:10,677
Hmm.
4
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:15,097
{\an8}Who are these perfectly-coiffed young men
on all the billboards?
5
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"Wolfgang Von Bassdrop.
6
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,852
Pound sign Von pound sign.
7
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Sex Towel.
8
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,272
{\an8}Glenn the Eruptor."
9
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{\an8}[scoffs] In my day, billboards advertised
things that made sense.
10
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:30,029
{\an8}Like energy drinks or
exciting new windshield repair companies.
11
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,782
{\an8}Now it's just an endless stream
of look-alike weirdos
12
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:34,325
{\an8}who no one has ever heard of.
13
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:39,330
{\an8}They're all DJs with residencies
at casinos and nightclubs.
14
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,749
{\an8}They can make millions
of dollars in one night.
15
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:45,628
{\an8}I heard DJ Cheeseface
bought his parents a mansion.
16
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:46,712
{\an8}[♪ dance music playing]
17
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{\an8}That's right, Homer.
He bought us a mansion.
18
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,093
{\an8}Son buy mansion?
19
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{\an8}Bart is son.
20
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{\an8}[♪ music ends]
21
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{\an8}[breathing deeply]
22
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{\an8}[gasps, pants]
23
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{\an8}What the hell are you doing?
24
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:07,567
{\an8}Duh. I'm giving you a glow up
for your rewarding new career.
25
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,820
{\an8}Keeping you off the streets
and me in a mansion.
26
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:13,364
{\an8}You're going to be
the world's next hot DJ.
27
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{\an8}You can start by mixing
with all my old records.
28
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{\an8}Smash Mouth.
British nerd rocker, Thomas Dolby.
29
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{\an8}Akron, Ohio nerd rockers Devo.
And Taco's Puttin' on the Ritz.
30
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{\an8}Mmm. Tacos, pudding and Ritz.
31
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{\an8}From these musical seeds,
32
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:31,048
{\an8}you will grow a mighty skyscraper
of DJ fame and fortune.
33
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{\an8}Now get behind those turntables
34
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{\an8}and start spinning that big stack
of black shellac.
35
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{\an8}- [record scratching]
- [♪ "Whip It" playing]
36
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Hey, this doesn't suck.
37
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I've always wanted to do
something creative
38
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without actually creating something.
39
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:54,196
Hmm. Something's still off.
40
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,699
Ah!
41
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♪ Give the past a slip... ♪
42
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Perfect. Now dominate that mix, boy.
Rave against the dawn.
43
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♪ When a problem comes along
You must whip it ♪
44
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{\an8}[muffled]
♪ Before the cream sits out too long ♪
45
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,838
{\an8}♪ You must whip it ♪
46
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- ♪ When something's going wrong... ♪
- [yawns]
47
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:17,011
What's all this ruckus?
It's the middle of the night.
48
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,680
If the boy's gonna succeed
in the DJ world,
49
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:22,183
he needs to practice on Ibiza time.
50
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,353
Though at this point, I don't even think
he's good enough for Corfu.
51
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,688
I don't know what any of those words mean,
52
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,691
but Maggie needs her sleep.
53
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,195
♪ Now whip it
Into shape ♪
54
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,614
♪ Shape it up
Get straight... ♪
55
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:41,869
There. I made her a Quiet Place box,
from the mind of John Krasinski.
56
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,788
I hate that guy.
57
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:46,666
Bart cannot be a DJ in our basement.
58
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,252
Honey, I completely agree.
59
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Enjoy the billboard, pally.
Seems like a good investment to me.
60
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,678
I don't have a single concern.
61
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[♪ electronic music playing]
62
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[all cheer]
63
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Bart... I mean, Bartholomieux.
When are you planning to drop the beat?
64
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,694
Apparently it's very important.
65
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,655
Evening, Homer. Or should I say morning?
66
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:21,158
Listen, you know I like to keep
my blankets dry and my parties un-pooped,
67
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:25,371
but, uh, all this, uh, well, noise,
I guess you'd call it,
68
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,124
is making it difficult for me
and my boys to sleep.
69
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:32,128
It's not noise.
It's a tantalizing journey into sound.
70
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:36,006
Well, uh, could you at least
ask Bart to turn it diddly-down?
71
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,508
[screams] What?
72
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,261
Turn it diddly-down!
73
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[through mixer] ♪ Diddly-down
Did-Diddly-down, did-diddly-down... ♪
74
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:47,393
Whoa. Listen to the cool guy in the song.
[chuckles]
75
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I wish I was you.
76
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,230
See you later, DJ Stupid Mustache.
77
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[sighs] Okily dokily.
78
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,734
[through mixer] ♪ O-O-O-Okily dokily
O-O-Okily dokily ♪
79
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,403
♪ Did-Diddly-down
D-D-D-Down ♪
80
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,573
[all cheer]
81
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:04,077
♪ Cheese mansion
Mansion made of cheese ♪
82
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What you got there, Flanders?
83
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,458
Well, sir, it occurred to me
84
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,793
that, uh, if I'm a little, uh... [chuckles]
85
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:15,296
...inconvenienced
by Bart's musical endeavors,
86
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,590
it's, uh, really up to me
to find a solution.
87
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,968
So I went out and
purchased three pairs of these good boys.
88
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,803
Noise-canceling headphones, eh?
89
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,805
Man, I've always wanted to try those.
90
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,682
Mind if I take them out for a test spin?
91
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,186
- Well, actually, I...
- Thanks, neighbor.
92
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,481
Hello there, Mrs. McCormick.
93
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:39,528
Dark times shall come to
Evergreen Terrace afore the year is out.
94
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,863
[chuckles]
95
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:45,284
Oh, Mrs. McCormick,
I do so enjoy your dire portents.
96
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,368
[humming]
97
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:49,456
[♪ electronic music playing]
98
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:59,673
Oh. This beat's getting pretty big.
Maybe I'll drop it soon, or maybe I won't.
99
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,176
For God's sake, drop it, Bartholomieux.
100
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,888
The tension, while delicious,
is unbearable!
101
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,684
[grunting]
102
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,770
[chuckles]
103
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,689
[♪ music continues, muffled]
104
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,028
[♪ music continues, blaring]
105
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Daddy, this noise unto the Lord
isn't joyful.
106
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:28,703
[babbling]
107
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,748
[♪ music continues playing]
108
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[all gasping]
109
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,071
Bart, what happened?
110
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,616
The beat. I waited too long to drop it.
111
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:11,829
It was like a tiger in a cage,
and I just kept taunting it.
112
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,581
[cries]
113
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:18,002
Yeats was right. "Things fall apart,
the center cannot hold."
114
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:22,089
And when he wrote that in 1918,
they didn't even have DJs.
115
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:26,260
I'm sorry, Dad,
but I'm out of the DJ game.
116
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:30,180
But what about my mansion?
I've already started interviewing butlers.
117
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,892
I used to think DJs were overpaid frauds,
118
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,103
but I now know they require
the nerves of a surgeon
119
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:40,274
and the rare gift of turning music
into faster, louder music.
120
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,736
If anything, they aren't paid enough.
121
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:48,824
Sorry, guys. You can all go home.
122
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,868
- All right, very good, sir.
- As you wish, sir.
123
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,704
It's been an honor, sir.
124
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:57,666
I'm just glad we were able
to sleep through your big explode-o,
125
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:01,629
thanks to those noise-canceling
headphones your father bought.
126
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:05,883
Oh, actually, I didn't buy them.
I-I kind of borrowed them from Flanders.
127
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,092
So Ned and his boys
128
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:11,472
had to spend the night enduring
that-- no offense Bart-- racket?
129
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:16,685
Homer Simpson, you return those headphones
and apologize immediately.
130
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:20,148
Fine. [scoffs]
The things I do for this family.
131
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,194
Oh. Hey, Flanders.
I was just bringing back your headphones.
132
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,948
Oh, you don't look so good.
Did you get beat up at the circus?
133
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:34,578
Homer, this sweater is the one thing
you've never ever borrowed from me.
134
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,413
So I'm giving it to you now.
135
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,498
[headphones clatter]
136
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,582
Hmm.
137
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,042
Hmm, hmm.
138
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,586
Ah! It's a little small.
139
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,047
Now that I've literally given you
the shirt off my back,
140
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:49,718
you and I will never have any reason
to interact ever again.
141
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:54,516
In fact, these are the last words
I'll ever say to you.
142
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,186
[gasps] I've never seen Ned that upset.
143
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:03,273
Ned Flanders is never going
to speak to me again? Ever?
144
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,609
I guess I only have two words.
145
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,027
Woo-hoo!
146
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,154
- [thunder rumbles]
- [♪ ominous music plays]
147
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,574
The dark times have begun.
148
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:16,495
Some days I wish Mrs. McCormick
had never moved here.
149
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,581
[♪ ominous music playing]
150
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:26,338
So Flanders thinks he'll never speak
another word to me again, eh?
151
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,925
Well, I say woo-hoo.
Have I said woo-hoo yet?
152
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,511
You have, Homer.
153
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,097
Well, it bears repeating.
154
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,808
I mean, does he think
I enjoy talking to him?
155
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:38,893
Because I don't.
156
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:40,937
[sighs]
157
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:47,192
You're right. If anything, it should be me
that never says another word to him.
158
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,446
In fact, do you know
who the real victim is?
159
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,907
- Is it you?
- Bingo.
160
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:58,912
However, if Flanders thinks that
by not talking to me he... [chuckles] ...wins,
161
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:00,581
I cannot allow that to happen.
162
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:04,501
By this time tomorrow,
he'll be talking my ear off.
163
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:05,795
Great plan.
164
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:09,424
It is a great plan, and I'll tell you why.
165
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,552
- I'm asleep, aren't I?
- Yes.
166
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:20,642
Listen up, Flanders. We need to talk about
this so-called vow of silence of yours.
167
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,811
You go first.
168
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,314
[whimpers]
169
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:29,693
I've never seen my daddy so angry before.
It's like a bad movie.
170
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,695
Have you ever seen a movie, Todd?
171
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,530
No. What happens?
172
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,783
- Lotta stuff.
- Neat.
173
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:39,328
Oh. My dad has done so many bad things
to your dad,
174
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,538
and I think your dad
has finally had enough.
175
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,874
I really don't think
this is gonna blow over.
176
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,584
- [leaf blower whirring]
- [Homer] Oh, my God.
177
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,629
Look what's blowing over.
Leaves from my tree.
178
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,798
And they're going into Flanders's yard.
179
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,425
Neighbors fight over this kind of thing
all the time,
180
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,262
so I bet you have something
to say to me about it.
181
00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,849
Oh, come on, Flanders. Yell or something.
Put me in my place.
182
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:01,934
- [screams]
- [thuds]
183
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,268
[whimpering]
184
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,897
Should we help your dad
or wait till he stops twitching?
185
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,441
I find it's best to wait.
186
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,240
Sir, I'm about to make your day.
187
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:20,953
I just need a full oral presentation
on all of your left-handed wares.
188
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,330
Spoken, please.
189
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:29,461
"Left-handed apple peeler.
Left-handed chip clip.
190
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,130
Left-handed belt buckle.
191
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,550
- Big Book of Left-Handed Compliments."
- Hmm.
192
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,225
[sighs]
193
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,396
[Homer gasps]
194
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:50,399
Oh, I should have known
he'd have a backup savior.
195
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,485
{\an8}[♪ hip-hop music playing]
196
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,989
♪ All the ladies in the house go, hey ♪
197
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,157
♪ Hey ♪
198
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,993
♪ All the fellas in the house go, whoo ♪
199
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,161
♪ Whoo ♪
200
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,165
♪ All the Flanders in the house
Say anything ♪
201
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,501
♪ Everybody in the house
Give me a second ♪
202
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,836
[♪ music ends]
203
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,672
[all murmuring]
204
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,340
[whimpers]
205
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,430
Oh, boy.
206
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:26,768
Hiya, Marge. To what do I owe
my guest appearance in your blessed day?
207
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:30,856
Actually, Ned, I was wondering
if you and I could maybe discuss
208
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,692
this situation between you and Homer.
209
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,570
Of course we could. Come on in.
210
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,367
[no audible dialogue]
211
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,954
[Homer whimpering]
212
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,377
So? So? Did he talk about me?
213
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,213
He sure did. [sighs]
214
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,756
I gotta say, Homer,
215
00:11:55,757 --> 00:12:00,052
if I weren't married to you,
I probably wouldn't talk to you either.
216
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,679
Oh. I can't take this anymore.
217
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,225
I thought Flanders not talking to me
would be a magical Mardi Gras,
218
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,769
but instead it's been a never-ending Lent.
219
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,354
[cries]
220
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:12,231
Lent!
221
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:16,151
Then why not do the one thing
you haven't done? Apologize.
222
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,654
That's it. I'll write him an apology.
223
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,740
[♪ dramatic music playing]
224
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,016
- Hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- [♪ music ends]
225
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:51,645
Actually, Dad, it's good. Really good.
226
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:54,731
I had no idea
you had such depths of feeling in you.
227
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:59,736
I mean, wow. You did quote the movie
Point Break more than I expected.
228
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:03,240
But I really think Mr. Flanders
may finally forgive you.
229
00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:04,366
I hope you're right.
230
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,494
I bared my whole soul in this letter,
and it feels amazing.
231
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:10,832
Writers must be
the happiest people in the world.
232
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,419
Knock him dead, Dad.
233
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,425
[giggles]
234
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,011
[clattering]
235
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,513
[screams] We've been burgled!
236
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,225
[machine whirring]
237
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,315
That's our stuff. What are you doing?
238
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,904
You have to tell me
why you're destroying my stuff!
239
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:45,199
It's my stuff, you imbecile.
240
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:49,453
I'm reclaiming everything you've ever
borrowed from me and destroying it
241
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,246
so you can never borrow it again.
242
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,416
That includes the lock on your front door.
243
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,918
But what about my apology?
244
00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:01,590
Homer, your apology
was beautiful, heartfelt, and enraging.
245
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:02,674
Huh?
246
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,634
You know,
I gave you a pass all these years
247
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,887
'cause I thought
you were just too dumb to know better.
248
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:09,598
But this eloquent plea for forgiveness
249
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:13,060
shows you're a thinking,
feeling human being.
250
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,271
And you did this stuff to me anyway.
251
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:20,275
[screams] My couch.
The one thing in this world I truly love.
252
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:24,696
It's my couch. You borrowed it from me
the very first day we met.
253
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:28,325
[screams, pants] I've gotta get over there
and stop this madness.
254
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,952
[♪ suspenseful music playing]
255
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,876
Gone to Flanders to save couch.
Home for dinner.
256
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,004
[gasps] My car.
257
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:45,967
You killed my car.
Okay, mister, I'll kill your car.
258
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,054
[♪ suspenseful music continues]
259
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,224
[gasps, growls]
260
00:14:55,394 --> 00:15:00,566
Car fight! Car fight! Car fight!
261
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,736
[engines revving]
262
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,405
[growls]
263
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,079
[both groaning]
264
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,421
- [stammers]
- I don't wanna hear it.
265
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,471
[gavel rapping]
266
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,348
What do you two chuckleheads
have to say for yourselves?
267
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:36,977
I hate him more than Joab hated Abner
in the Book of Samuel.
268
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:41,356
I hate him more than Tennessee Tuxedo
hated the tedium of his life in the zoo.
269
00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,899
- I don't know what to say to you.
- Oh, yeah?
270
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,317
You are just beneath contempt.
271
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:46,820
Chumley the walrus has a lot
more to say about this situation--
272
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,029
[gavel raps]
273
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:51,116
I have never seen two people
with such a bitter hatred for each other
274
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,451
outside of happily married couples.
275
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,536
Hmm.
276
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:58,582
Well, that gives me an idea for one of
my folksy, movie premise-like judgments.
277
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,708
Instead of jail,
278
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:04,129
I sentence the two of you
to 100 hours of couples counseling.
279
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,213
[all gasp]
280
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,883
- D'oh!
- Permission to use profanity, Your Honor?
281
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,050
I'll allow it.
282
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:10,969
Marmalade milkshake!
283
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,304
[all gasp]
284
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,973
[♪ dramatic riff plays]
285
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:20,103
[sighs] Look, I need you both to know that
this isn't gonna be an overnight fix.
286
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:23,231
It could take years
of intensive soul-baring...
287
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:26,402
Could you please stop flicking each other
in the eyeballs?
288
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:34,576
All right, that does it for talk therapy.
Luckily, there are drugs.
289
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,745
- I don't do drugs.
- I'll have his.
290
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,705
There have been amazing advances
291
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:42,334
in the use of therapeutic psychedelics
for dysfunctional couples.
292
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,253
U-completeamine will take you
on a shared journey
293
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:46,755
{\an8}that could help resolve your conflict
294
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:50,842
{\an8}with only a slight risk
of permanent brain explosion, or P.B.E.
295
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,969
I'll happily blow up both our brains
296
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,431
if there's the slightest chance
of making Ned suck less.
297
00:16:56,432 --> 00:17:00,019
[sighs] I can't live with this anger
anymore. Let's just do it.
298
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,770
[screams]
299
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,814
[counselor] The drug is now slowly
entering your bloodstream.
300
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:06,399
Just relax and remember,
301
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,984
if you see a door, open it.
302
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,569
If you see a road, follow it.
303
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,987
And most importantly...
304
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:15,408
[distorted] we don't take insurance.
305
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,494
[♪ trance music playing]
306
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,537
I'm scared. Where are we going?
307
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,373
I don't dang-diddly know.
308
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,542
- [♪ trance music continues]
- Soul sensors activate.
309
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,253
How many of you beautiful mutants
310
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:29,798
are ready to drop
some serious repressed emotions?
311
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,677
[crowd cheering]
312
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,473
[gasps] What the hell is going on?
313
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,725
We're cartoons.
314
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,857
- [gasps] Garfunkel!
- Turtlenecks!
315
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,826
Good grief!
316
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:01,079
Why did we turn
into all those famous duos?
317
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,332
Famous? I didn't recognize any of them.
318
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:06,626
[both stammering]
319
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,712
[Ned] Huh?
320
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,382
[Ned] Now we have no corporeal form.
321
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,759
[Homer] Nice going, Flanders.
322
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,180
- [clamoring]
- [♪ operatic music playing]
323
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,283
[♪ music stops]
324
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,035
Everyone's dead.
325
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,830
Which means no one's defending
your brain castle.
326
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,915
- [yelps]
- [♪ music resumes]
327
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,171
- [gasps]
- [♪ music ends]
328
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,008
Flanders's head is full of me.
329
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,428
Homer has a shrine to me?
330
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,141
- I think I get it now.
- I think I get it now.
331
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:07,354
I see how happy and successful you are,
so I think I'm not worthy of you.
332
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:10,774
I treat you terribly
out of my own insecurity.
333
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:14,611
Also, because you've got awesome stuff
and I like taking it.
334
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:17,614
And I wish I could savor life
half as much as you do.
335
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:21,493
But what I truly love
is feeling morally superior to you.
336
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,621
That's why I accept and even encourage
your worst behavior.
337
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:27,832
Like how you're scratching your butt
with that statue of me.
338
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,459
[moaning] I...
339
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,169
What? It's pointy.
340
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:36,007
So I-I guess what we really want
is the status quo.
341
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,927
Status whoa.
342
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,179
Another U-completeamine breakthrough.
343
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:45,392
Well, how is it possible we had
the exact same psychedelic sleigh ride?
344
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,018
And why are you a part of it?
345
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:51,398
I couldn't tell you. No one has any idea
how these drugs work. Bye.
346
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,235
[♪ adventurous music plays]
347
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,156
Well, Homer, any thoughts?
348
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,242
[both sobbing]
349
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:04,244
Flanders.
350
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,330
[bird chirping]
351
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,461
[Ned] Homer, did you take my paper again?
352
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,755
No. Why would you say that?
353
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,424
Because you're holding it.
354
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,677
Florida has a hockey team?
355
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:23,347
[sighs] You know what, Homer?
Okily dokily.
356
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,392
Ned, I got something for you.
357
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,769
My sweater.
358
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,312
Thanks, neighborino.
359
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:34,525
You're welcome, Stupid Flanders.
360
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,073
[♪ electronic music playing]
361
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:47,538
[♪ music ends]
362
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,585
{\an8}♪ See my vest ♪
363
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,837
{\an8}♪ See my vest
See my vest ♪
364
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,547
{\an8}♪ That was Marge, bitch ♪
365
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:59,382
{\an8}♪ Who controls the British crown? ♪
366
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,718
{\an8}♪ Who keeps the metric system down? ♪
367
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,887
{\an8}♪ The name's Poochie D
And I rock the telly ♪
368
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,598
{\an8}♪ I'm half Joe Camel
And a third Fonzarelli ♪
369
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,266
{\an8}♪ He can talk, he can talk
He can talk ♪
370
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,643
{\an8}- ♪ I can sing! ♪
- ♪ Ooh, help me, Dr. Zaius ♪
371
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,313
{\an8}- ♪ What'd I say? ♪
- ♪ Do the Bartman ♪
372
00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:14,898
{\an8}- ♪ What's it called? ♪
- ♪ The Bartman ♪
373
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:17,233
{\an8}♪ 'Cause everyone is horrid
Except me and possibly... ♪
374
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,401
{\an8}And hit it!
375
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:19,694
{\an8}♪ Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! ♪
376
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,947
{\an8}- ♪ Brain freeze ♪
- [apes] ♪ Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! ♪
377
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,200
{\an8}♪ Shaving my shoulders ♪
378
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,744
{\an8}♪ That name again is Mr. Plow ♪
379
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:29,038
{\an8}[♪ song ends]
380
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,081
Shh.
30094
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