All language subtitles for Summer Heights High - S01E05

One of my big duties...
and I've been doing it

for the last five years or so...
is evacuation procedures.

There's a fire in
the school, everyone.

There's a fire. There's a fire
in the school. Get out quick!

I find that I use
my acting skills

to create the drama
of the situation.

Christ above,
this isn't happening!

Oh Christ.

It adds a lot of realism
and it really freaks the kids out.

Miss Allen from the library's
got third-degree burns.

One big problem
that a lot of schools

are having to deal with
at the moment is terrorism.

It's a big issue, so I have a drill
which caters for that too.

There's a terrorist
attacking the school!

I'm serious! Get down.
Get in a tight ball, everyone!

And I also do what I call
a random drill,

which is I spring some kind
of emergency onto the kids

and we see how
they deal with it.

There's a kid
in the school with a gun!

There's a kid with a gun!
There's kids down.

Go, I'm serious.
Mrs. Wong, get them out.

There's a pedophile,
he's in the school. Get out.

He's on the school grounds.

Yes, I think a school
with a good evacuation procedure

is a school
that survives.

That'll be at
lunchtime on Friday.

That'll be at
lunchtime on Friday.

And it'll be in full costume
so you boys can get used to the skirts.

What if you can't be fucked
doing it on the day?

I've just come back
from a weekend workshop

on EPBSM,

which is Extreme Behavioral
Problem Student Management.

I want to see Thomas, Joseph,
Leon and Jonah at the front here.

- The rest of you can go.
- What the fuck for, sir?

Come and talk to me, boys.

What they've found

is that if you have
a problem child

and you give them
extra responsibility,

then they can rise to it.

I want to assign to you
a group of year-seven boys

who are not coping well
in the school.

I'll assign one to each of you

and I want you to be what I call
a big brother to them.

- No way, sir. That sucks!
- No way!

We hate year sevens.

- It's a shit idea.
- Okay, hear me out.

Now, Jonah,
you'd be the leader.

It's not our fault
they've got no friends.

It's not your fault,
but as an added incentive,

if you can do this
program seriously,

I'll let you do
a break-dancing demo

- at assembly on Poly Day.
- Oh, sharp!

- Sharp, man.
- You've got to do the program.

- Sharp, sir.
- You're a legend, sir.

- Thanks, sir.
- Okay. All right.

- Let's go, boys.
- I'll come

and introduce you
to them at recess.

- Thank you.
- All right.

Roll it, roll it. Keep it sexy.

Remember, you're having
the best night of your lives.

Wiggle the bum
more please, Candice.

We are midway
through rehearsals

for "Annabel Dickson:
The Musical."

And the machine, I call it,

is finding its rhythm.

Remember, Annabel really going off.
You've taken the Ecstasy.

♪ She's a naughty girl
with a bad habit... ♪

These are the sort
of schoolyard bin,

but we've added
this lighting effect.

These are lovely.
These are our school benches.

If you can imagine coming on.

These are the Ecstasy pills,
which are a lightweight polystyrene

for... the dancing purposes.

These are for the cutters...

the kids that are into
the cutting on the arms.

So various suicidal themes

which the teenagers are into.
A noose.

We sort of simulate
a hanging sort of thing.

I'm finding that I'm weaving
the character of Mr. G

into the musical a lot more
than I expected I would.

♪ She's a naughty girl
with a bad habit ♪

- ♪ Bad habit for drugs... ♪
- Sell it to me, Mr. G.

Matthew is my dream Mr. G.

He's got the look. He's a very...
I mean, he's a good-looking boy.

♪ She's a naughty girl
with a bad habit... ♪

And these are our costume ladies.
Say hello, Moms.

Hi.

We're doing a variation
on the school uniform

and just teasing it up

with some more
stage-friendly fabrics.

These are our slut outfits,
the slut outfits

that the girls will be wearing
in the nightclub scene.

Your Rosie's gonna look lovely
in that onstage, Mrs. Travis.

Isn't she? Yeah.

I'll leave you to it.

We haven't got long,
so don't...

less chat, more sewing.

Okay, guys,
listening please.

Raise your hand in the air
if you're happy

with the new girls'
school uniform concept.

It's been an amazing week.

I've set up a student
representative council,

an SRC, and all my friends are in it,

and Ashley
'cause she begged to be in it.

And we're doing
what we can to make

some really cool changes
around the school.

Mobile phones allowed in class
for texting purposes only.

It's a bit distracting.

Overruled.
I'm president, Ashley.

The school grounds
are so crap, seriously.

So I'm thinking like Diet Coke
machines along there, guys.

Yeah, up against that wall.

The mirrors in the girls' toilets
are really crap and dirty.

- Disgusting.
- They're small, so we want big ones,

really massive ones, like full-length
so you can see your footwear.

We need another cleaner. Let's get
like two more full-time cleaners.

We want to get a girls'-only
year-11 common room, where there's

- like laptops and stuff for everyone.
- That would be so cool.

So there's like
wireless internet,

like so we can just chat
on MSN at lunchtimes to each other.

- Tarnish this.
- Like an Indian canopy.

- Tarnish it.
- Yeah.

These should be higher.

This is so low, guys.
Look what I have to do.

Awesome idea.
Let me get that down.

What about a study room?

Ashley, shut up, please.

One of the big things
that we're doing,

and I'm so excited about it,

is we're doing a year-11 formal.

I can't believe you guys have
never had one here.

We did, but they banned it
'cause they think it's a distraction.

Is that why? Oh, I thought it
was the povo factor.

You've been to about five,
haven't you?

Yeah, well, six actually.

It's really embarrassing.

- Six formals?
- Yeah, I started going in year seven.

I just want to show these guys
how to have a good time.

Just 'cause you go to a public school
doesn't mean you can't go off.

- Fuck.
- Fuck.

- We never should have agreed to this.
- They look gay-ass.

They look like they
don't even have pubes.

Come on down, boys.

These are your year-seven
little brothers.

Guys, these are your
year-eight mentors.

You guys have to find
each other every morning,

every recess, every lunchtime.

And you younger guys,
you know like we talked about,

if you have any issues,
any problems,

you talk to your big brother.

All right now, Jonah, as team leader
I thought you might like

to run a little getting-to-know-you
session,

So I'll leave you
with that responsibility?

- Okay, sir.
- Good luck, guys.

- Fuck.
- You got the fat one.

You got a fucking wranger
and a fat one.

- I'm gonna talk to them.
- Dude, talk to them?

- We have to.
- I'm not talking to them. Screw you.

We have to if you want
the break-dancing demo.

- We have to fucking do it.
- Fuck you. I'm not talking.

I'm gonna do it.

- So have you got problems?
- Nice new friends, Jonah!

Shut the fuck up! They're not
my friends, motherfucker!

I have to do it as a program!

They're homos!

So Pedophile Pete said that you've
got social problems or some shit?

The fat one, tell me first.

You go down like this.

I needed a fairly big space
to put on the show

and the hall wasn't big enough,

so I've booked out the gym
till the end of term...

Come in quietly,
grab your balls and leave.

...so I'm Phys Ed's least-favorite
person at the moment.

Shut the door, please, David.

I decided that I'm going to do the show
as an arena spectacular.

Um, the arena-style seating
will cascade upwards

in a circular motion around.
We're hiring that in.

Normally, you play
to the front of a stage,

but in the arena,
it's all around.

It's around everywhere.
I'm performing there there there there.

I'm using Toby,
the Down-syndrome boy.

He's back.
He auditioned for the show,

didn't get in.
He was devastated,

so I've brought him back
as my assistant.

You need to get a highlighter
and highlight these points for me.

He's really a sounding board.

If I have ideas,

we chat about that.

And, you know,
he's my little creative advisor.

What do you think about
getting Mr. G and Celine

- to do two circuits instead of one?
- Yeah.

- What do you think, one or two?
- I think one.

You know, he sits at his desk.

He's not really allowed
to leave the desk.

But, you know, he's getting
to see how it works.

Where's a pen?
Get me a pen, please.

I'm sorry, Ja'mie.
We can't have the formal.

It's been a blanket rule
here now for five years

- that there are no formals.
- Why not?

It's a distraction
from schoolwork

and we just can't be
held accountable

for your actions at a formal.

- We really wanted the formal.
- It's a formal. Just let us have it.

Ja'mie, girls,
it's just not gonna happen.

- Okay?
- Oh my God.

I can't believe
that just happened.

I'm not taking no
for an answer, guys.

I really want the formal.

I just don't think
there's anything.

He was so definite,
wasn't he?

He had no good reasons.

"No, you can't have
a formal because I say."

- Yeah.
- He's just a dick.

We've got to think
of something else, guys.

- We will think of something else.
- There's nothing.

- Shut up, guys. I thought of an idea.
- What?

Oh my God. We could do
like a hunger strike.

Like, just don't eat.

- For how long?
- Don't eat, say we'll keep not eating

- until you let us have the formal.
- Oh my God.

Seriously. We could get
the whole of year 11 involved.

And we could all go
down to the oval,

- like first period tomorrow.
- Have, like, a banner!

Saying,
"Give us a formal or else."

- Oh my God.
- Prepare to starve oursleves to death.

We should make pamphlets
and hand them out to everyone.

We should text
everyone about it.

Hey, wranger. Wranger...

go and get me a strawberry break
from the canteen.

You pay for it.

- Tell your wranger to do it.
- Do it.

We've worked out that
there's some good things

about having the little
brothers around.

You can make them do shit
for you, like your homework.

- Write this for me, bro.
- Okay.

Do deep writing.
I have to hand this shit in.

It's kinda good, kinda bad.

They just make us
do all this stuff

that's like really mean.

- Hey, wranger.
- They call us names that we don't like.

- They call me fatty.
- They call me wranger.

They call me gay.

Go and get me my bag
from my locker,

- and don't drop it.
- Give me strawberry milk first.

We have to be careful
when teachers go past.

- Give me the ball.
- Make it look like we're doing it.

Just teaching the boys
about some footie.

Hey, sir, just talking about
life and social problems.

- What do you need to know?
- All right, carry on.

Um, yeah, so, little brother...

- Good talking, Jonah.
- Sharp, man.

I want to thank you all for your
role in meeting the deadlines.

- So thank you for that.
- Sorry I'm late.

Sorry, rehearsal, hectic.

Greg, I need a copy
of your script

for your show, please,
'cause Annabel's parents

- are very keen to read it.
- Yep.

- Yes.
- Okay, good.

Moving on, the ramps should be done

in the demountables today
for the new Special Ed room.

So we'll be shifting
the multimedia gear

into that space
that they've occupied.

Sorry.
What's going where?

Special Ed's moving into
one of the demountables.

- Temporarily.
- Uh, no, permanently.

I've had the room fixed up
and there's ramps there.

No no, that's where we're putting
the Performing Arts Center.

That's the site for
the Performing Arts Center.

We agreed that we're going to leave
them empty so the department agrees

to knock them down.
We've talked about it a million times.

Greg, Drama's important, I know that,
but we haven't got the money...

Why do you think I'm working
my head off on the production?

So we do have the money
to build it.

I appreciate that. I know
you're doing your very best,

but I just can't
change the plans now.

Now, Greg, a couple of the parents
of the Special Ed kids

have asked me why their children

are not actually going
to be in the production.

- Special Ed?
- Yes.

The Special Ed kids didn't
get through the audition.

I'd like to see that they get
involvement in the production.

I mean, we can't have a school with
prejudice and exclusivity and so on.

So I'd like you to make sure
those kids are included.

Well, I don't see why
I should be making exceptions

for kids that didn't
get through the audition.

Well, Greg, I'm telling you
to do that, please.

I don't want to have
to ask you again.

- Fine.
- Okay?

Now the last item...

Starving for the formal.

We're meeting on the oval,
first period.

Starving for the formal.
See you on the oval.

Mr. Cameron is totally
gonna freak out

when he sees the whole year 11 starving
on the oval. It's gonna be so cool.

Did you do around the lockers?
Go around year-11 lockers.

I think it's really important
to stand up for yourself.

Like, when you really want something,
you just gotta go for it.

Ja'mie, did you tell everyone
it was first period?

- Yes, of course I did, idiot.
- It's really bright.

- The banner looks awesome.
- We're getting our point across anyway.

- Yeah.
- Are any of you guys hungry?

We've been here
for like 10 minutes.

You told me you were anorexic.
Obviously, you were lying.

You don't have to be
a bitch to me. I was.

Deal with it.
We're starving for a cause.

I know how to starve myself.
I'm just saying.

- Mr. Cameron.
- Get off the oval, get to class now!

- Shit.
- Oh my God.

Stupid behavior, Ja'mie.
And you girls are stupid for following.

- We just want a formal.
- Get to class.

Sorry, sir. I'm really sorry.

You want Miss Murray involved?

Jonah? Jonah.

Come here a second,
please, mate.

Did you or did you not agree to put in
a decent effort on this program?

Yeah, but he pissed off.
It's not my fault he left.

Jonah, he left because
he came to tell me

that not only were you neglecting him,
but that you'd decided

it was appropriate to pick on him
and call him names!

Yeah, I just made a comment
about him being fat.

He is, sir. Look at him.

Jonah, I gave him to you
because he's not coping socially.

- He called me a lardass homo.
- As a joke, idiot.

Do you think that's appropriate to say to a
person with confidence issues?

You said his mother must've fucked
a whale to get that much blubber.

Leon, don't make this worse.

- He said I had manboobs.
- Bullshit, I did.

I'm this close to banning
the break-dancing demo on Poly Day.

- No fucking way, sir.
- I am, yes.

Sorry, Lucas.

- I was only punking you anyway.
- That's not an excuse anymore, Jonah.

I'm sick of this behavior.

- One last chance I'll give you.
- Why don't you trust me for once, sir?

Tomorrow.
Junior swimming carnival.

You and your mates
are gonna chaperone

your little brothers
for the whole day.

- We get to break-dance if we do that.
- Yes, you can.

- It's a deal?
- It's a deal, sir.

- Come on, Lucas.
- We'll teach you some moves.

See you at swimming
tomorrow, boys.

See you, sir.
We missed you, Lucas.

- What'd you say to him?
- What the fuck did you say to him?

- What the fuck did you do?
- She's got no idea.

She doesn't have
a showbiz bone in her body...

- no bloody idea.
- Hardly seems fair at all.

I'm trying to maintain a standard.
I'm trying to put on a good show.

And I don't need bloody
Special-Education nightmares.

I'm not... I don't
want them in my show.

Just don't let it upset you, mate.

We should never have
bloody taken them.

Do you remember that meeting?
We sat in there and they said,

"All raise hands to Special Ed,"
and I was hands down, no bloody way.

They're nothing but trouble.

I mean, they're great kids.

I love the kids.
Don't get me wrong.

I think they're wonderful.
Toby and I...

get along wonderfully,
but there's a time and a place.

The kids themselves
understood.

They came to the audition. They weren't
good enough. They were told that.

They've had a life
of not being good enough.

Surely they know it by now.

Do you know
what we're getting?

Are they wheelchair or walking?

I've no idea. I mean,
wheelchair, we're screwed

'cause we'll have
to build ramps.

Although some of
the non-wheelchair ones

aren't exactly easy on the eye.

You heard
what happened at...

I can never
remember the name.

They had the Special-Education facility,
health department

- closed 'em down.
- What happened?

Apparently,
one of the parents

found human feces
on the classroom floor.

Straight to the health department.

All handicapped kids
are gone within 48 hours.

What sort of teaching environment
has poo on the floor?

It's...

That's all it would
take here, isn't it?

Just a little bit of poo on the floor
and they'd shut us down?

- I think we should still not eat.
- Yeah.

I think that should
still happen.

The protest in the oval
didn't really work,

- so I've come up with a new plan.
- We have to be strong.

I'm gonna go and see
Mr. Cameron and tell him

that I've started cutting my arms.

That's why I'm
wearing the jumper.

So I'm just gonna go, "Oh my God,
what do you want me to do?

I'm gonna kill myself
if you don't let us have it."

Seriously. And if he doesn't
let us have it then,

then he's a bastard
and it's like murder.

He should go to jail
or something.

'Cause I could die
from cutting myself.

Sir, I'm just seriously upset.

And I can't believe
I'm doing this to myself,

but you said we couldn't have it
and it was just humiliating for me.

And I think that I'm gonna keep doing
this until you let us have the formal.

Okay, well, I'll have a chat to Doug
Peterson about the cutting situation.

I'm gonna get in contact
with Child Protection Services

and we'll contact your parents as well
and let them know what's going on.

Okay?

Alternatively,

I'm gonna put an idea
to you Ja'mie and all you girls

that at the assembly
next Friday

I'll be happy for the SRC

to do a presentation for us.

We will review it

and have a look and see
where we stand on formals.

Oh my God.
Thank you, sir.

I love presentations.
This is gonna be so cool.

- So don't let me down.
- Oh my God!

This is where we always hang
out for the swimming carnival.

We call it Fob's Hill.
Hey, sir!

Sir!

Hey!

Look at this. We're doing my tag
on every motherfucker.

Here's my dick-tation tag.
Get it?

See where it's coming from?

And Jonah's one. It says:

"Before I root you,
are you over 16?"

Get it? Over 16.

Like rooting!
The boys are doing it too.

The little brothers have all got
the tag. Show them the tag.

Show them tags.
Makes them feel like

they fit in socially
with the group.

And look: "68-l-O-U-1."

Looking after little
brothers is good.

I like being a leader.

Your boobs look fine.
We're all waiting for you.

It's good to teach
them things.

We put a zinc bra on him!

See? Gimme the zinc.

I wanna draw
my dick on you.

A school that bans formals
is a school that bans life.

Summer Heights High, you should
be ashamed of yourself.

Firstly, formals can give hope.

They give povo people
something to live for.

Lack of formals in a school

can also seriously affect
the development of a girl.

Without formals,

you can seriously stunt girls
socially and physically.

No offense, but it's not
exactly fun around here.

A year-11 formal could do
so much for this school.

Let me explain.

Formals bring
people together.

They bring groups together and remove
the apartheid of the playground.

- Emos...
- Christian...

- Asians...
- Skanks...

- Lesbian...
- And hot girls

all come together
at the formal.

It's a social and cultural
melting pot that goes off.

Emos can dance
with the jocks.

Christians sit
with skanks.

Asians share limos
with lesbians.

And my group talks
to the fugly girls.

That's right,
formals bring people together.

We got really bored,

so we got one of the little
brothers to go and steal

this sheet from one
of the teachers' clipboards

It's got all the phone numbers
of all the teachers,

so we're gonna punk them.
We're gonna take a photo of my bum

'cause their phone's...
it's a camera phone.

- Press faster.
- And we'll send it to all the teachers.

Put Miss Wheatley in.

Okay, Joseph, you ready?

Take the photo!

- Aw, man!
- Let me see it!

- Give it to Elliot.
- Wait wait wait wait.

Everyone look innocent.

- Just do innocent shit.
- I can't believe we're doing this shit.

This is it, boys.

School without a formal:
Action.

- I hate school so much.
- School sucks.

Stop pushing me, sluts!

- You're a fat bitch!
- You're the fat bitch.

And I hate you so much.
You stupid Christian!

Freeze!
See what I mean?

It's really bad.

School with a formal: Action.

Wow, I love school so much.

- Who's done the assignment?
- I have.

It's such a great place to be.

School is so cool.

It's such a happy
environment.

Freeze.
See what I mean?

It's a much better
place to be.

So please, Mr. Cameron,

reconsider and let us have
a year-11 formal.

Before we go, I want
to give you guys an example

of what you will
look like going off

on the dance floor at the formal.

Thank you, Ashley.

Fuck, man.

He fuckin' got it, bro.

He knows, man.
He's worked it out.

How does he fucking know?
Maybe he's coming for Elliot.

Elliot's got a white ass, bro.

Get yourself changed and go
and sit out the front.

What are you fuckin'
talking about?

You are a bloody idiot.
l'm sick of it.

lf your boyfriend's been sending
you photos, it's not my fault.

lt's not him, sir.
Check the number.

lt's probably one
of the year sevens.

l know what l saw and l know
it belongs to you.

How do you know what
my ass looks like, sir?

- Have you been thinking about it?
- Yeah.

You can forget about
the break-dancing offer.

- lt's off.
- l don't even care anyway!

- That's bullshit.
- We don't even want to do that shit.

We're just trying to make it fun
for the little brothers.

This is not on.
lt's not on!

Now just get your stuff
and get out of my sight!

They wanted to start it!

lt's bullshit.

- Delete the photo, sir.
- See ya, bro.

You can't keep it for
your private collection.

♪ School's hard sometimes,
you just can't get by ♪

♪ You need something fast
to get you high ♪

♪ Marijuana
or maybe Ecstasy ♪

♪ Stop, no,
take this advice from me... ♪

Pick her up, drop the dog.

♪ Don't get involved
with drugs ♪

♪ Just fill your life
with hugs ♪

♪ Don't get in--
don't get involved ♪

♪ With drugs. ♪

Good.
We have some visitors.

Stop you there.
Thanks, Rodney.

Just talk amongst
yourselves, guys. Hi.

Mr. Gregson, l'd like you to meet
your latest cast members.

- Hi.
- Diane and Jonathan.

Hello. Jonathan, if l can get you
to come on through

and meet the rest of the cast?

Guys, we have some
new cast members.

Toby, you might
want to talk too.

- Hey, how you going?
- Oh, not too bad.

How's the new
Special-Ed Center going?

Oh, fine.
No problems at all.

They have pretty
messy rooms down there.

They can be stuffy. We've had
the cleaners in this morning

and they've steam-cleaned
the carpet-- it looks brilliant.

- Oh, did you?
- l've just come from there, actually.

Nothing to report then?

No no no no,
it's going very well.

Yeah,
the room's terrific.

- Okay.
- Things going well here for you then?

Yeah.
Yeah, it's good.

lt's all coming along.

All right, Greg,
l'll leave it to you

and thanks very much
for not making a fuss.

- Yes, right.
- Much appreciated.

Thanks. Hello.

We'll get you
up on stage.

Rodney, could l get you to jot down
''ramps and masks,'' please.

l've spoken to Miss Murray
about this issue

and we agree that if
the SRC are that keen

and they promise
to organize everything,

then we will go ahead
with the formal.

Thank you, sir.

Play the music again.
Here we go.

Okay, we'll have to move on.
Let's have the music off.

Thank you, girls. Please.

Just turn the music off.

We've got a few other things
to get through.

- l'm going there.
- Come on then.

Why don't you
come and get me?

- What, are we stand in there all day?
- Maybe.

l can't believe you got your fucking
feet wet! You got your pants wet, sir.

We are on in 10 days.

Greg's really feeling
the strain at the moment.

You look like a bloody
braindead retard.

l'm really a big pussycat.

Don't push me, Margaret.

You called her
daughter a walrus.

Through the hoop.
Stop looking at me.

- ♪ ...want to go to school ♪
- That was shit.

Year-11 formal tickets. Hands up if
you think we should invite the lesbians.

lt's such a good look,
going with a disabled guy.

l went with a black guy to my
year-10 formal for the same reason.

The formal committee has decided
that lesbians can come to the formal.

- l know you're into girls.
- l think it's a really good idea.

- You just--
- Don't freak out.

Bash the shit out
of that one fuck.

Watch out, MTV.

♪ l come from the islands
and that's no excuse. ♪

Fuck off, year sevens.

You actually can't read
at all at the age of 13?

Fuck you, motherfucker!

You do not own
the amphitheater!

- Keiran!
- You're not allowed here anymore.

You do that shit again,
l'll send you back to Tonga.

What's up, man?

She ran out to the road.
A car hit her.

l know how to plan
a good formal.

l am not a lesbian, guys.

Get off him!