All language subtitles for Roger Moore and Jackie Chan [1981]

♪ What do you say when
there are no words ♪“

♪ Feeling ♪

I Feel a song that's
never been heard ♪

♪ Sing it ♪

I How do know if you did it all ♪

♪ Answer A“

I What do you do
when you've done it all I

♪“ Ball ♪

♪ Cannonba“ I

♪ Cannonba“ I

♪ It's not what you do
it's how you do it ♪

♪“ Be anything you want to be ♪

.|" It's not what you got,
it's how you use it I

♪ You be you and I'll be me ♪

♪ It's just a matter of style ♪

I You can fake it ♪

♪ Mile after mile ♪

♪ Feeling free I

♪ If you got the soul
you can make it I

♪ Move—em out. Move 'em out A“

.|" Let 'em roll. Let 'em roll J"

♪ From sea to shining sea ♪“

♪ Ba“. Ba“ 4“

.|" Cannonball. Cannonball J"

I What do you do if
a mountain is there ♪

♪ Move it ♪

I How do you answer to
a challenge in today J“

I Take it ♪

♪ When your back's
against the we“ 5'

♪ Fake it ♪

I What do you do
when you've done it all I

♪“ Ball ♪

♪ Cannonba“ I

♪ It's not what you do
it's how you do it ♪

♪“ Be anything you want to be ♪

.|" It's not what you got,
it's how you use it I

♪ You be you and I'll be me ♪

♪ It's just a matter of style ♪

I You can fake it ♪

♪ Mile after mile ♪

♪ Feeling free I

♪ If you got the soul
you can make it I

♪ Move—em out. Move 'em out A“

.|" Let 'em roll. Let 'em roll J"

♪ From sea to shining sea ♪“

♪“ Ball ♪

Headquarters, we are still

in pursuit of the
black Lamborghini.

Car 42, you've been
in pursuit for two hours.

Another five minutes and
you'll be in Arizona.

— Yeah, and we're gonna stay

in pursuit until we catch him.

It didn't take us
that long to catch Dillinger.

- Hi, guys.

- Victor!

You're two hours late.

- I'm, I'm
sorry

- Where the hell you been?

- I'm sorry.

- The fuel-injection system.

It's driving me crazy.

- I'm really sorry I'm late,

but one of my hamsters
had an anxiety attack.

I couldn't leave him
till he was settled down.

He was acting so crazy,
he ate a piece of tail,

and Henrietta wasn't
even bothering him.

Then he ate his treadmill.

Whoo!

- They got vets for that.

We got other things to worry about.

- Hamsters are a
big responsibility.

- Let me paint you a mental
picture, all right, Victor?

I want you to think of your
hamsters as a little army

marching along on a treadmill,

running their little legs off,

just running as fast as they can,

making that engine just
purr right along the road.

JJ, what a
wonderful way to put it.

Wouldn't it be great
if we could share

the glory of winning the
Cannonball with them?

That would be a real
team effort, wouldn't it.

I mean you, me, the
hamsters, and him.

- Don't start with him.

I don't want to talk about him.

- If you need any help.

- Damn it, I don't
want to talk about him!

- Okay.

— Sir James!

My God, you again?

Fenderbaum, do me a favour.

You're drawing flies.
Get the hell out of here.

- No, wait a minute, Greek.

Only thing I want to know is,

how are you figuring the odds
on this Cannonball cockamamie?

- It takes brilliance
and years of hard work.

And you wouldn't understand
any part of that.

- Do me a favour.

A race is a race, right?

The only thing you gotta do

in the Cannonball is drive steady,

stay out of trouble
and have a good cover.

- 3,000 miles, averaging
85 miles an hour.

Do you know what that is?

- You want to talk
or do you want a bet?

Anti-radar
paint, turbo-charged.

JJ, nobody can stop us now. Nobody.

- What are you, some kind of nut?

Who do you think you are?

- Dun-dun-dah!

I am Captain Chaos.

And this, this is my
faithful companion, Cato.

Say hello, Cato.

Been a cop long?

- That's funny.

You wanna talk or you wanna bet?

- You've got 50-1.

- And you know what you got?

You got yourself a bet.

Twenty big, large ones.

- That's a million dollars.

Ha-ha, if you win.

- I don't know if you
know my partner.

Jamie, you remember
Jimmy the Greek.

- Ha, Jamie Blake.

You used to drive that Formula One.

When high-buttoned
shoes were in style.

- Let me tell you something, Greek.

We got a secret weapon.

God is our copilot.

- You'll need him.

- God is our copilot?

Remember our car?

— Yeah.

- Two seats.

- Where's he gonna sit?

Where?

Listen to me, el Porko.

We're not in the Indianapolis 500.

We can't have a car
with numbers on it.

We have to camouflage
the car somehow.

- Like what, JJ?

How about a limousine
with diplomatic plates?

Nah.

- No.

I know, a bloodmobile.

Never stop a
bloodmobile, would they?

- Nah.

Ice-cream truck,
an ice-cream truck.

You know, they got to get
there before it melts.

- Nah.

Terrific.

We're out of beer, Victor.

- Sorry.

Take it easy!

You're acting crazy since
this Cannonball thing.

I'm gonna pull in here
and get some beer, all right?

How about an armoured
personnel carrier?

They wouldn't stop
that, would they?

Hey,
don't bother to park!

I'll be right out.

Thank you.

- We could get a black Trans Am.

No, that's been done.

- Mother. I trust you
had a pleasant day.

- A nightmare, a living nightmare.

You are killing me, Seymour.

Killing me a slow death with
this idiot spy business.

- Mother, you don't understand.

- What is there to understand?

I'm looking at my son,
Seymour Goldfarb Jr,

son of Seymour Goldfarb,
God rest his soul,

and heir to the
Goldfarb Girdles fortune.

And what is he doing?

Walking around, acting,

like he was some goy movie
star named Roger Moore.

And for this I sent you
to the best schools?

For this I'm spending
8,000 on orthodontia work?

For this I'm going broke, paying
that Beverly Hills analyst?

And now, this.

The sleep-in maid found it
under your pillow this morning.

What is the meaning of this?

- The meaning, Mother
dear, is a quick death.

I warned you not to
interfere in my affairs.

- Seymour, put that away,
it's liable to go off.

- I'm terribly sorry, Mother,
but you know too much.

You see, in my business,

even the deepest
family relationships

aren't worth a farthing.

- Farthing, schmarthing.

No.

— Zei gezunt, Mama.

- Oi, where did I go wrong?

- You know something, Mama?

You're too Jewish.

We could always go
with a nice, plain-Jane Chevy,

with a truckload of
Sidewinder missiles!

JJ, maybe you should

slow this down just a little bit!

- I can't hear you!

- I said, you're making waves!

You're bothering the people!

- What the hell has going too fast

got to do with being
in the Cannonball?

- JJ, you're making very big waves!

— Hi, how are ya?

- Hey, you know,
you guys are lucky.

I mean you tore the
heck out of that boat.

- You all right, Victor?

I'm fine, JJ.

It only hurts when I point.

You know, maybe it
would've been better,

if you didn't pay so much
attention to those girls.

- Nobody's perfect.

- That's true.

Nobody's perfect, but him.

Sorry.

- How far is it to the hospital?

- About ten miles.

Yeah?

How long will it
take us to get there?

- About four or five minutes.

You can smoke through traffic

like shot through
a gun in this thing.

- Jackie Chan.

Here's Johnny!

...Jackie Chan.

Actress, Godzilla movie.

Michael Hui.

- Excuse me.

— Camel.

- Not the Camel, schmuck, Winston.

- Starting tomorrow,

you and George Will be
riding in the car with me.

- Yes, sir.

- How goes your
driving, my brother?

- Allah be praised, dear sister.

My speed is rival led only

by the lightning bolts
from the heavens!

-And I suppose you still
intend to go through

that race with the
infidel Americans.

- The Cannonball will fall
to the forces of Islam!

My dear sister, I pledge it!

Drink, drink!

- The car will be there, correct?

- Yes, Mr. Compton.

- Don't forget to cancel
the board meeting on Monday.

I'm going to spend a week
in Spain at the castle.

- Yes, Mr. Compton.

- Arthur, I want you to find an

old friend of mine,
a Mr. Shakey Finch.

He is the finest
long-distance motorcycle

rider in this nation.

- You got it?

- Yes, Mr. Compton.

Mr. Compton, the board has asked me

to express their
concern one more time.

Please reconsider.

- Not possible, Arthur.

The board will have to permit me

this one indulgence to my ego.

♪ We gotta be free,
We gotta be me A“

a“ To We on the I

4“ Got to be me I

- Boy, ain't he something?

- Are you kidding?

That is the dumbest
thing I've seen since

that dimwit tried to
jump the Grand Canyon.

- He's still on our ass.

I don't think, I don't think,

I don't think he's
a-bluffing, either.

- Now, don't you worry, son.

I'm gonna lose him right
up here at the motel.

- Hey, I remember.

There's a spot, there, there's
a spot in right in back,

and it's a perfect spot to hide.

- All right, wonderful,
wonderful, wonderful.

- Take a, take a left.

Hell.

- Take a left.

- Left.

I can't see shit, can you?

No problem,
son, no problem.

- What was that?

- That's, that's, that's
ppppppp--perfect.

That's better than hiding it,

that's better than
hiding it out back.

- I know.

But the only problem we got now,

is we have to go and retune it.

All right?

Let's go get a beer first.

- Yeah, let's go
get a, let's, beer.

- I'd like to thank
Mona Corson of Westport

for that wonderful luncheon

of hemp sandwiches
and wood chip consommé.

And now, the moment you've
all been waiting for.

- This is a titty turn, Terrific
turnout for the meeting.

— Yes, terrific.

- He led the campaign

to ban the use of
electric toothbrushes

during peak load hours,

and to sound the alarm.

I suppose you, came
here to hear me speak.

- No, no, not really.

I'm into trees.

Trees.

- Friends of Nature
love trees you know,

so I come to the meetings.

- That's very interesting.

- I love anybody who loves trees.

- Well, they happen to be
a great passion of mine.

- You know what I
like best about trees?

— No, what?

- That you can lie under
them on a moonlit night

with the breeze blowing,
bawl your brains out.

- Mr. Arthur ♪. Foyt.

Mr. Foyt, Mr. Foyt.

- Give that sucker some juice.

- The only thing
hiding it, hiding it,

hiding it in the, pool
did was, make it purty.

It ain't running worth
a shit and it's wet.

- I know that, just hit it
one more time, all right?

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it!

I know what's wrong.

- Don't think for a minute
that we in Washington

don't appreciate
your Mothers' March

to ban the sale of
coloured toilet paper

to, help reduce
irritation of the, rectum!

But today, I want
to direct my remarks

to an old and familiar enemy.

The automobile.

-All right, one more
time, let me hear it.

— It reminds me of
a, a poem I wrote.

The automobile, the automobile,

- Are you all right?

- They picked on the
wrong one this time!

I guarantee they're
gonna pay for this,

because when the going gets
tough, the tough get going!

- She's running good now, buddy.

- I still think we
ought to paint it.

- If we're gonna paint it,

let's go ahead and
Midasize it, all right?

- Hey, there's the motel.

Look at the parking lot.

The Cannonballers
have it all jammed up.

- Man, I can't handle this traffic.

Hold on to your lunch pail.

This may get a little weird.

- Wait a minute.

Slow down!

- Hey, you the one
running this fleabag?

- Where the hookers?

- What?

- Hookers, man, where the hookers?

- Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Hello, Mad Dog.

- Hey, JJ.

- You probably didn't realise,

but the parking lot's outside.

- Yeah, I know, brakes went out.

- What, you think
you're the President?

- Well, let me make one
thing perfectly clear.

We feel terrible about it and
if they can't take a joke.

- Thank goodness, we just
had a terrible accident.

- We'd like to help
you, but we're off duty.

- This man looks bad.

Maybe he's dead.

- You should call the coroner.

JJ, he don't look too good.

- Nah.

He's just had his bell rung.

- Can't you do something?

I mean, you're professionals.

- This is our day off.

- Will you guys do something?

This man's life is
hanging by a thread!

- Victor.

You have to be very
scientific about this.

It could go up the nostrils,
affect the sinuses.

- That's true.

There.

Don't bother about the bill.

Just give him a couple of enemas
and call me in the morning.

Hi, how's it going?

- Perfect.

- We'd like two singles.

JJ McClure, Victor Prinzim,
I'll be in the bar.

I always like a couple of
drinks right after surgery.

- I wonder why that guy
parked his truck in the lobby.

- Only in America,
get me 12 suites.

Better yet, the entire floor.

Too much couscous.

- I sure as H would
like to get my hands on

those Hell's Angels who
were driving that truck.

But you know, it's
probably just as well,

because I am a wild bull
when I lose my temper.

- I love wild bulls.

I fin it really funny
that you should..

My God, it's them.

- Them who?

- Those Hell's Angels.

- They could be part
of a terrorist group.

- I don't know.

But this place is filling
up, with some real hoodlums.

Did you see anything
weird back there?

- No.

- I'm gonna find out.

- I don't understand.

Why is it so difficult
for you to find a doctor?

- It's very, very hard.

- You know it's not easy finding

a doctor to take off like that.

Dr. Gay doesn't
even leave his house.

- You don't even understand.

If you're gonna win the Cannonball

and you're driving an ambulance,

you have to have a doctor in
the.. What does Dr. Gay do?

= He's my shrink.

He was committed yesterday.

- Why?

- He was smoking bananas.

He gets very upset
when he talks to, him.

-So do I.

Sorry.

I don't want fruit in my drink.

- Congratulations.

Here's to you.

- Good luck.

- Much obliged.

- And to you, Father.

- You dumb shits.

They haven't got a chance.

You know what?

I think I'm gonna call the Greek

and put another 10,000 on us.

Pa

- What about those two?

Maybe, Maybe one of those
beauties could be our patient.

- Both of them could be.

- Woof!

- I could be very patient
with those patients.

They're very
Iickable, very likeable.

Tell you what.

Let's, the two of us, go
over there and talk to them.

- Okay.

- I'll do all the talking.

- Okay.

- Victor.

- Yeah?

- You just think about the doctor.

- Okay.

- Good evening, ladies.

- Evening.

- My name is JJ McClure

and this is Victor Prinzim,
my executive assistant.

- Hi.

- I'll do the talking, Victor.

- Terrorists, my dimpled ass.

These people make terrorists

look like the Sisters of Charity.

These guys are Cannonballers.

- What is that, a bowling team?

- As you probably know,

we're the favourites to win
the Cannonball tomorrow,

and I was wondering if one
of you, or both of you,

might like to ride in
the winning vehicle.

- That would be very exciting.

- Exciting.

- But we're Cannonballers
ourselves, thank you.

- They're Cannonballers?

- And, as for the
winning vehicle, well,

we'll just have to wait and see.

You haven't seen our equipment.

- Equipment?

Equipment.

Hi.

- Hi.

- Don't tell me your
name. Let me guess.

Melissa.

- No.

- Juliette.

No.

- Betty?

- No.

- I'll just call you Beauty, okay?

- Aw, that's nice.

- Thank you.

Sit down.

- Are you one of
those volleyballers?

- Cannonballers.

No.

- Why are you dressed up like that?

- Humanitarian reasons.

I'm a wealthy philanthropist.

Me and my partner, we just
ride around in an ambulance,

looking for accidents,
trying to help people.

I don't think we were put on
this earth to hurt people,

I think we were put on
this earth to help people.

- That's beautiful.

— LL“ Thank you.

- You must be a sensitive person.

- I try to be.

- I bet you're a fan
of Rod McKuen's.

- I listen to him every night.

- I'm into trees.

Have you ever heard
of Joyce Kilmer?

— Yeah.

- She wrote a really
terrific poem about a tree.

— He.

- Who?

He.

- He is a she?

- She's a he.

Well, he wrote a really
terrific poem about a tree.

— Yeah.

- You know what I
like best about trees?

— No, what?

- That you can lie under
them on a moonlit night,

the leaves gently blowing...

- Sorry about that.

- It's all right.

- What were you saying about trees?

- I was saying, what I
like best about trees,

is that on a moonlit night
you can lie under them,

with the leaves gently blowing...

Hey, JJ, you'll never believe
what just happened to him!

- I don't want to talk about it.

- He had the most wonderful time.

- I don't want to talk
about, Victor, Beauty.

Beauty, Victor.

- Hello, Victor.

- You really are.

JJ what about the doc, you
wanna hear about the doc?

- He can tell me about the doctor.

It's about the doctor.

- It's really important.

You see we need a
doc for the ambulance.

- It'll keep!

- I'll just leave you two alone.

— But, listen, I think
you should hear about it.

- It'll keep!

- It's really important.

- I want to talk to her.

- Who?

Now do you wanna
hear about the doc?

- No!

- It'll keep.

- Hey, Brad, old buddy!

How the hell are you?

- Shakey, my God, it
is you, hello, Shakey!

Shakey, it's kind of
tough to get close to you.

Last time I saw you,
you were more svelte.

- Yeah, well what can I tell you?

In the pizza business,
when things are slow,

you tend to eat the inventory.

- Listen, Shakey. That's
not good for the Cannonball.

You know that.

I mean you don't need a motorcycle,

you need the Super Chief.

- Even with the extra tonnage,
I'm still the best there is.

- Yeah, well, I'll tell you what.

I got a throttle
that's been sticking.

Why don't you fix that?

- Boss, this is the biggest coup

in the history of the
Safety Enforcement Unit.

We're gonna blow this
Cannonball thing wide open

and then we're gonna hit
Congress for a real budget

that will allow us to
play some real hardball.

I mean, this is our
Three Mile Island

and Love Canal combined.

- What's wrong?

— Look at the chicks.

- What is it?

- Look at those chicks.

Boy, if we were Methodists.

What a shot we could have
of getting laid right here.

- Listen, I want to get up there.

I don't want to miss a thing.

No, I, yes, yes.

- All right, there you go.

Just as good as
new, give her a try.

- That's it?

- That's it.

- All right.

We'll see.

- I don't think it's the throttle!

I think it's the clutch!

- Goodbye.

- Look out!

Hey, watch out, watch out!

Coming through!

- What in the hell was that?!

That must be the entry
of the National Safety Council.

- Good day.

I am here to participate in
your little jaunt to California.

- Well, of course.

If you would sign in here, please.

- Hold still, Petey.

Say cheese.

- I realise the novelty of a major

celebrity entering
your little race,

but kindly resist the temptation

and keep the media
coverage to a minimum.

Thank you.

- Will you hurry the hell up?

♪ Just for the hell of it ♪“

♪ Let's find a little laughter ♪

♪ While it's worth going after ♪

♪ We're in our pfime I

♪ Just for the hell of it ♪“

♪ Let's find a little love I

♪ That's what this
world's made of ♪

♪ A mere waste of time I

— Man does not live
on, on bread alone.

— What concerns me is,

do we have enough
ice for all this beer?

- Plenty.

Yeah, well, how about food, son?

Did you bring enough food?

- Plenty.

- Will you get serious?

Give me the rest of that beer.

I Just for the hell of it. I

- Excuse me, good
sisters, if you will.

Father, we do have a race to run,

and we're running a little late.

So would you come on, will
you excuse him, good sisters?

- Bye-bye.

- Don't run off,
tonight's the night.

I'd like to welcome you all

to an event that's
sometimes been called

the automotive counterpart
to the Bay of Pigs.

You all are certainly the
most distinguished group

of highway scofflaws
and degenerates

ever gathered
together in one place.

We're gonna have a lot of fun.

Of course, you know
certain sceptics note

that perhaps 10,000 of the nation's

most elite highway patrolmen

are out there waiting
for us after we start,

but let's think positively.

Think of the fact that there
is not one state in the 50

that has the death
penalty for speeding.

Although I'm not
so sure about Ohio.

Everybody is gonna
get a card like this.

When you leave, you're gonna punch

out here at this time clock.

3,000 miles, roughly,
away from here

is another time clock just
like that at the Portofino Inn.

The difference
between the two times

is your time across the country.

The record stands at 32
hours and 51 minutes.

Believe it or not,

those guys did break the
55-mile-an-hour speed limit.

Okay, let's get that
first car up here.

We're gonna get
this thing under way.

Go!

— LL“ Victor.

I know.

- All right, where is the doctor?

- I got everything else.

- Where's the doctor?

- I got 60 gallons of gasoline.

- Can you read my lips?

Where is the doctor?

- The auxiliary tanks are full...

- Goddammit, I gave
you one responsibility,

to get a doctor and
you give me no doctor.

Now, where is he?

- He got sick.

- Listen to what I'm telling you.

— Yeah.

- You go find a doctor.

Get me Dr. Kildare,
get me Dr. Livingstone,

get me Dr. Frankenstein,
just get me a doctor.

Go where the doctors hang out.

- Where's that?

— Bars, golf courses.

- Golf course, bar, okay.

- Right.

- All right, where else?

Hospital!

- Try there too.

— My jet will take
you to California.

- It's time for you to punch out.

- I'll see you in
California, I love you!

- A toast to us, you and me.

We're gonna win the whole thing.

- It's a cinch.

The more I look around and
see these turkeys, I have...

While you're drinking,
that truck to the left.

Isn't that JJ McClure?

- He's nothing. Don't
worry about him.

It's the blimp next
to him, the blimp.

When he puts on that mask,

he'll blow your goddamn doors off.

You understand that?

The blimp!

- Is that weird?

- Wow!

- It's a Nevada licence plate.

And that's whiskey, zebra,
alpha, niner, fiver, zero.

You got that?

- What?

- It's, just write WZA nine, here.

Will you let me do it?

WZA 950, see?

Whiskey, zebra,
alpha, niner, fiver, zero.

- Okay, so it's Interstate 80
through Pennsylvania, pick up.

That's a good-looking piece

and cunningly disguised so it
won't look like a racing car.

You know, the cops would never
give that a second glance.

- 220 miles an hour,

and they aren't gonna
get a second glance.

- Hey, when we get to California,

I got a place out at Palos Verdes,

- You boys gonna start this thing

or just sit there and wait
for that paint to dry?

- Yes, sir.

- How long till we stop?

- Eight hours!

— Damn!

I, I gotta go to the john!

— Go.

- Mad Dog, you are gonna take

the shortcut to the
interstate, aren't you?

- We're here to win, ain't we?

If you gonna be a
bear, be a grizzly!

- My God, Pamela, did you see that?

- They drove right
through those trees.

I love trees.

Did I tell you...

- We are going right down there

and bring this thing to a
screeching halt, right now.

Buckle up, we're going into action.

- Would you mind?

- Very civil.

Might be easier
with your lights on.

- Why advertise?

- Wait a minute.

- What?

- Father.

- What?

- That's a no-no,
haven't you heard?

They haven't allowed that
for nearly 2,000 years.

- No, look.

I'm a liberal wing, way out,

on the other part of the church.

It's nothing at all.

- Keep flying, Father.

- Keep flying.

How about just one of you?

Who says cops
won't stop honeymooners?

Anyhow, why do I
have to be the bride?

- Shut up, sweetie,
and punch the clock.

- Okay, go slow
until I get my wig on.

- Yes, dear.

- Well, old pal of mine, are
we all set for California?

- Damn you.

Next time, Methodist, you
understand, Methodist!

- All right, pal of mine.

- Okay, all right.

- Okay, now, who's driving?

- You're driving.
- You are.

- I can't drive.

- Then I'm driving.

- Yeah, I think you are.

- Okay.

- All right, put me down.

You drive, you hold this,
I'll get in the car.

- Come on.

— I'm coming.

Somebody's hat.

Hold my drink.

— Hit it!

- Thank you, good sisters.

May the good Lord take a liking
to you, but not too soon.

Bless you, my children.

- Those guys are more
juiced up than that Ferrari.

JJ, wait!

I got the doc!

- Terrific.

- No, wait, no, he's
in the ambulance.

This way, come on!

Before I open this, don't
get your hopes up too high.

I was pressed for time.

- No problem.

- Holy shit.

- I'm honoured, sir!

I'm Doctor
Nikolas Van Helsing,

professor of proctology and
other related tendencies.

Graduate of the University

of Rangoon and
assorted night classes

at the Knoxville, Tennessee,
College of Faith Healing.

- You may be a little
overqualified for this job.

You got your equipment with you?

- I never go anywhere without it.

However, in my
particular line of work,

I seldom need more than this.

Or this.

We'll talk about this later?

- Now, sir, before we
commence this odyssey,

which I understand will carry
us across this grand nation,

from sea to shining sea,

there's the matter
of my compensation.

I've determined that my services

will require the payment of $2,000.

- I was thinking more
along the lines of $200.

- Fortunately, my practise
allows me a certain flexibility.

After checking my schedule,

I find I'll be able
to make the journey

as far as the money's
concerned, you got a deal.

- We're off.

— Here we go.

- 3,000 carefree, madcap
miles to California.

- California, here we come,

right back where we started from.

- Thanks to you, Victor,

we do not have a female
patient in the back.

Thanks to your
wonderful cousin Tessie.

It's not my fault that

she didn't fit in the stretcher.

Doesn't fit
in the ambulance.

- I got the doc here, didn't I?

- Don't you ever tell
me where you got him.

I don't want to know
where you got him.

- Okay.

I was just surprised that
all the animals there were...

- I don't want to know
where you got him!

- Hey, maybe I
could be the patient.

— That's a good idea.

Everybody would
believe you were sick.

Wouldn't you believe he's sick?

- Want me to examine him?

Him doesn't like it when
you say bad things about me,

and you know that.

- Thanks to you, though, we
don't have a female patient.

And we've got to find a female,

- Damn Cannonballers.

- Hi, I'm so happy you're here.

- Hi.

- Can you help me with Mr, um.

- Foyt.

- Sure, that's what I'm here for.

Mr. Foyt, go around and get
in the emergency entrance.

Come on right here.

Come on, there we go.

Hit it!

- Wait, I'm not,

- This is really terrific,

the way you guys go
around helping people.

- Next year we're going
for the Nobel Prize.

That's where the big bucks are.

You forgot Mr, Mr.

Foyt.

- Foyt.

- Well, we got you.

We're batting 500.
Nobody's perfect.

- I think you have to
go back and pick him up.

- We'd really like to,

but we're on kind
of a tight schedule.

We're on our way to California.

You'd be amazed how many sick
people there are out there.

They need our help.

We could pick him
up on the way back.

- Victor, can you help me?

— No, I can't, I can't do anything.

But, he can.

— Who can?

- Him.

- Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Doctor.

- My God, the perfect specimen.

JJ, you want me to start
the examination right away?

I'm gonna like this job.

Right here, honey.

- No, thank you, not right now.

- Of course, man.

This took 30 years.

Never be able to
see us, the son of a guns.

- I'm really sorry about
that little lapse, Officer.

Normally, I drive right
around the speed limit.

- We all make
mistakes, miss, but 160?

That's a little more than a lapse.

What the hell is going on here?

Everybody's driving like maniacs.

- I don't know, Officer.

— Let me see your
driver's licence, please.

What the hell?

I can't penalise nice girls

like you for a little indiscretion

with the whole road packed
with speed-crazy lunatics.

Here, you girls have a nice trip.

Drive carefully and take it easy.

- Thank you.

- Come back and see us next year.

- Bye.

- Take care.

Keep it in the road.

- I don't know why you're pouting.

I mean, look, we're taking a nice,

leisurely trip to California.

And we're picking up the bills.

This could be fun.

- I can't believe this
is happening to me.

This is not a joke anymore,
I'm being kidnapped.

- You can call it kidnapping,
if you want to be rude.

- Just think, we have a
professional physician on board

in case somebody gets swamp fever.

- You guys are strange.

- Yeah?

- We got company.

-Yeah, I hear.

Okay, Beauty.

You lie down and be a
patient for the police.

- No.

— Come on, why?

- Don't!

I'm not gonna help you,
you didn't even help Mr?

Foyt.

- Foyt.

- Maybe I can help.

- Dear God.

- It's all right,
miss, it doesn't hurt.

Give it to myself all the time.

- Yeah, he gives it to
himself all the time.

Show her.

Come on, Doc, show her.

Show her.

There, you see?

That didn't hurt.

- No, thanks.

- Victor?

No thanks.

- No.

- Hi, guys, what's up?

- What's up?

- You guys are running 120,

your little lights are
flashing all over the place.

That's what's up.

- We've got a patient in there.

You were still speeding.

She's, she's very sick.

- There's not a hospital
within 50 miles of this place.

Where you headed?

- UCLA Medical Centre.

- California?

This is gonna sound
like a dumb question,

but if she's that sick,
why didn't you fly her?

- Why didn't we fly her?

I'm just the driver.

We have to ask the doc.

No.

— That's a good idea.

Why don't we ask the doc?

I'm 8 o rry 5 Il m sor ry

- What's going on out here?

What is this crude interruption?

- The patient.

Why can't she be
flown to California?

- Cysts.

On the walls of her lungs.

Very rare.

You see, aeroplanes are only
pressurised at 10,000 feet.

Anybody who knows anything

about medicine
knows that she can't fly,

she has to be driven.

We couldn't even go through
Denver it's so high.

- Tell them to go
back and pick up Mr.

Foyt.

Foyt.

- Is that lady all right?

- She's in great pain.

Causes her to make certain
delirious, drememium.

I'm deliri,.

- Sounds like she's
on something to me.

- Let me explain something to you.

We have to get the senator's
wife to California in 72 hours.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

We have to get the senator's
wife to California in 72 hours.

- We're very close.

- Well, as long as
you're in New Jersey,

I want you fellas to take it easy.

You got that?

- We sure do.

Thanks a lot.

- Get this rig outta here.

I'm glad there's no cupcakes
like that in New Jersey.

- You haven't met my
brother-in-law, Ralph.

- I thought that cop was
gonna have a cardiac arrest

when we said we
were going to California.

- Wasn't Beauty terrific?

- The lady was splendid.

She should have her picture on
the cover of the AMA journal.

AMA journal.

- I'm sure that doctor's a
very sweet man, basically.

- Thanks.

- But don't you ever tell
me where you found him.

Ever.

- It's the cannonball, it's
the damn cannonball for sure.

They blasted away right
in front of my eyes.

And they kidnapped a
girl named Pamela Glover,

I mean just like it was

the goddamn Red
Brigade or something.

But I, no, I've got them.

This time I've got them.

Ohio?

Yes.

Ohio has been notified.

Yeah.

Ohio has been notified.

And Missouri, and California.

We'll get them, and I'm
gonna be there to handle it.

You can count on it.

Yeah.

Listen, I've got two
minutes to catch my flight.

Yeah, bye.

Hey, hey!

- Madam, madam!

- Madam?

I'm no madam, I'm a
decent, respectable woman.

I don't even own a house,
I live in an apartment.

Now get off my case,
I'm late for my plane.

- Well, then, after
my career in the RAF.

The what?

- The Royal Air Force.

Do you mind if I have a cigarette?

- Please, go ahead,
they're your lungs.

Well, I had a
chestful of citations,

medals, that sort of thing,

and then I drifted in
playing a rather popular,

not that one, darling, please.

We don't want you
leaving so shortly

after the trip has begun, do we?

- No, of course not.

- Then I drifted
into playing a rather

popular character
on a television series.

It's still in
syndication, you know.

Puff away.

- Thanks a lot, ladies.

But I would take
it a little easier.

Some of the officers

up the road might not
be as understanding.

— Thank you so much, Officer.

We really do
appreciate that warning.

And if you're ever up in
Duluth, remember to look me up.

I got the number,
you can count on it.

- How's the patient?

— She's alive.

Looks like she
survived the procedure.

- What procedure?

If you guys laid a finger on me.

— No, no, I just gave
her a little prick.

With this.

Hey super Chief,
will you lean forward

so I can get the front
wheel on the ground.

Stop kidding, I am.

- Pull over!

We want to give you our blessings.

- There are two priests
in that car over there.

- What?

- They want us to pull over.

- Victor.

Yeah.

- They're two priests
driving a Ferrari.

— Yeah.

- When's the last time

you saw two priests
driving a Ferrari?

What, are they taking
the bingo money home?

- They're doing
the work of the Lord.

In a Ferrari, they can just
do it faster, that's all.

- Pull over!

We want to bless you!

- Victor.

- Yeah?

- One of the priests is black.

Yeah, they
have black priests.

- They do?

— sure, they
have a black cardinal.

They do want us to pull over.

They want to bless us.

Can we?

- Let me get this straight.

You want us to pull
over and be blessed

by a black priest in a red Ferrari?

- Couldn't hurt.

— Oy way!

- Nice car, Father.

- Thank you, asshole.

- Hello, Father, nice-looking car.

- That's what everybody,
he even said it.

I want to thank you
for stopping, son,

'cause we always stop the ambulance

you know, so we can bless
whosever's in there.

And you paramedics are
doing such a wonderful job.

- We're in kind of a hurry,

so if you can just bless
it and then we can,

I gotta bless her.

- I'm sorry, Father,
she's a Zen Buddhist.

You're not Zen Buddhist,
so you can't bless her.

- We specialise in
blessing Zen Buddhists.

— Yeah.

- Yes?

- Second thought, Father,
you want to bless him?

We need all the help we can get.

Just give him a little shot.

Thank you, Father.

- You're quite welcome.

- You did a good job.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, Father.

- Why don't you take

that piece of shit
back to the junkyard?

— 000, JJ,We got a...

— flat.

- Yeah, and those priests.

- Weren't fathers.

They were...

- Mothers.

- Come here.

Jeez.

Shit!

- So there you have it, a
rather simple story, actually.

International film
star, ruthless assassin,

Casanova, poet, philosopher.

You might say a
legend in my own time.

In fact, you can.

Not that one, darling.

I'm afraid this car
is full of surprises.

- This is something I've
noticed, I must say.

- How about some
champagne, darling?

Little silver four-wheeler

that just flew past, with
the good—Iookin' seat cover.

Son, back that thing down.

You got smokeys
all over my back door.

- If you are referring to me,

I request that you speak

more clearly in the
Queen's English.

That is, if we are going to
converse on this wireless.

Bless your heart.

Cheers.

Down the hatch.

- What do you think you're doing?

You can't come in here.

You're a man.

7-Eleven,
how can I help you?

- Pumps one and two, hit 'em.

What are
you, some kind of nut?

You got one unleaded
and one premium.

- She goes both ways.

The round orange moon pie
with the white hat on,

he'll pay for it.

- I'm a doctor, and if I may
be permitted the indelicacy,

you seen one, you've seen 'em all.

Come on, a
thousand miles on one wheel?

We're trying to win a
race, not set a record.

— LL“ Victor, what have you got?

- A lot of goodies for you guys

and a Big Gulp Dr. Pepper for me.

♪ I'm a pepper, you're a pepper I

♪ He's a pepper, she's a pepper ♪

♪“ Wouldn't you
like to be a pepper ♪

Will you get in here?

- Okay, here you go.

— LL“ Officer.

Do you take your law and
order in this town seriously?

- Are you kidding?

- Excuse me for asking.

- Greek!

But, would you shut up a
minute and listen to me?

By the way, Greek.

What's the odds on the
Japanese team not finishing?

- There's gonna be a red
Ferrari come flying through here

in a few seconds and the two
men driving are responsible

for the victim laying back
here in this ambulance.

— Victim?

— A flasher victim.

You want to know the worst part?

— What's that?

- They're dressed as priests.

- Go on.

- Well, I guess they think
it's a little kinkier,

you know, dressed as priests.

- Goddamn, that's sick.

I'll handle this.

One more thing.

I think they're armed.

- Damn, I hope so.

It'll give me an excuse.

Flashers!

— LL“ Bye—bye!

- JJ, you son of a...!

- Out of the car, both of you.

Now!

All right, hit it.

- Hit it?

- Freeze, or name your beneficiary.

- Beneficiary?

- Officer, I sincerely
hope you're not a Catholic.

- Pay no attention to him.

He's been locked up for
six years in that monastery

and he don't know what he's doing.

I don't think both of his
paddles are in the water.

- Six years is gonna seem
like a summer vacation

when the state of Missouri
gets through with you.

You, shorty.

Where'd you get all that jewellery?

- Why'd he call me shorty?

- 'Cause you're small.

Small.

S-M—all.

I suggest you take
another route, good buddy.

The smokeys have
got traffic all tied up

on 40 looking for
them Cannonballers.

That's a big ten-four.

- Hey, JJ.

- Yeah?

- There's a lot of talk on the
CB about the roadblock ahead.

What do you think?

- I think we're in
deep you-know-what.

The transmission is slipping.

We lost a lot of time because
of your two phoney priests.

I'm sorry.

Hey listen, if the transmission
does hold together,

you think we're gonna be able

to bluff our way
through the roadblock?

- I don't know.

Give me a minute to
gather my thoughts.

I gathered my thoughts.

Hey, Lowboy, look in
your rear view mirror.

See this ambulance back here?

We need a piggyback ride.

This one can go
by, there's no problem here.

Let's just have
this one and that one.

Yeah, that one's okay, let it go.

Excuse me.

You look very familiar.

Do I know you?

- It's quite possible, is
this going to take long?

You see, we're on our
honeymoon, and she can't wait.

- Thank God, normal people.

We were just looking for
Cannon, it's not important.

Just move along, if you would.

- What is this, anyway?

- It's a stakeout.

Bon appétit.

- English humour.

Come on, guys, keep
moving, will you, please?

Let's see.

Quiet, Victor,
you're gonna blow our cover.

- JJ, this is not
a nine-to-five job.

I wish him were here.

Hi.

- Hello.

You look tired.

More frustrated than tired.

- Think you're gonna
win this crazy race?

— Damn right I am.

- I'm sitting here,
having a conversation

with somebody who kidnapped me.

Who can blame anybody
for kidnapping you?

- You gave me laughing gas.

- Well, you have an
awful beautiful laugh.

- You made me forget my favourite
skirt back at the motel...

- Doesn't matter.

You look terrific without it.

What'd you expect, anyway?

- A gang bang or
something like that.

- A gang bang?

We're racers, not rapists.

- Why?

— Why what?

- Why all this speed
and trouble and risk,

I mean, what for?

— For the hell of it.

Didn't you ever do anything
just for the hell of it?

- I guess so.

- My father used to
work in the coal mines.

43 years.

He was gonna retire.

Buy a houseboat.
Move down to Florida.

Fish on the back of the
boat. Tell my Mum lies.

He died two days before
he was gonna retire.

I guess you just never know.

— Yeah.

I made up my mind right
then, I was gonna go for it.

I mean, everything I wanted,

I was gonna go for it right then,

'cause you never know when
something's gonna happen to you.

Like talking to you, you know?

I mean, it's really nice.

— excuse me.

Where are you guys going?

- We're just, we're
just out, out, out

looking for a pack of cigarettes.

- With North Carolina plates,

you're driving to
Missouri for cigarettes?

- How about a beer?

- How about the fact that
your paint job is coming off?

You want to take these guys away?

The good guys strike back.

What is that?

Five, eight, three,
Five, eight, three, six.

Hold on, hold on.

Let it go, come on.

Come on, guys, keep
moving, will you, please?

- Howdy, sir. What
seems to be the problem?

- You guys didn't think
you'd get away with this?

We're gonna get the
whole lot of you now.

- Not here, you won't.

The word is out about
your little roadblock.

They're talking about it all
up and down the super slab.

- Come on, get these traitors
out of here, will you?

You think you're so big.

Hey, do some of you
people want to come over

and push this thing out of the way?

Come on, I'll put it in neutral.

Who did that?

Make it stop!

— LL“ Thanks a
bi, keep on truck'm“.!

- Hey George, you
remember the good old days

before they got radar?

We used to chase Speeders?

- Yeah, this is really boring.

Smokey, sayonara, bye-bye!

- What the hell was that?

- I don't know, but whatever
it was, it was doing 125.

- That's the first time
we took an order by phone.

- It was hard to understand you.

— When I called, I was
doing 140 miles an hour.

That was six lamb burgers,
four shish kebabs,

a side order of
couscous, and, two milk.

No, how much?

- Six seventy-five.

— Here, my desert blossom.

Keep the change.

Have you ever
considered joining a harem?

I shall return for
you after the race.

Get a physical.

I shall return, my little fig.

I love you!

- Victor.

I don't know how to ask you this.

Isn't ita little strange
having that guy

running around inside your head?

He's not in here.

He's out there
somewhere, helping people.

- He's always helping people.

He'd help you.

— He would?

- He likes you.

- Well, how did he find you?

I mean, how did
you two get together?

- Well, when I was real young,

I didn't have any
friends like I do now.

Like JJ.

Like JJ.

One day I was in the schoolyard,

and nine guys were
beating me up pretty good.

There he was.

Dun—dun-dah!

— Captain Chaos?

- Yeah, out of the blue.

Pow, slam, barn, boff!

I sure was grateful.

- That's great!

— Yeah.

Nobody bothered
me at school after that.

- I wish I had a friend like that.

- Well, first, you need
a mask and a cape.

- I think I'd like mine to be pink.

Almost everything I wear is pink.

- Everything?

Even,

I don't wear any.

- You don't?

- Wow.

- Victor, I'd like
to be your friend.

'Cause I like you.

I like you too, Beauty.

Thank you.

- New Mexico.

Texas, stupid!

- I'll take care of this one.

- Well, hello, hot pants.

I don't suppose you
have a driver's licence

tucked down in there
somewhere, do you?

- Yes, Officer.

- That policeman seems to
want us to stop, darling.

- Yes, he must be rather
upset with our rapid rate.

Funny, they don't have any

sense of humour
about that sort of thing.

Aren't
you going to pull over?

- I'd rather not.

It can be such a bore,
talking to those chaps.

Tell you what,
we'll just, slip away.

Hit that button, will you?

Like in your movies!

And now a little
oil, right, darling?

Well, well. We are full
of tricks, aren't we?

- It's all part of my
business, really.

- I've been meaning to
ask you, what movie?

Wait a minute.

Can you see where you're going?

- Perfectly.

This is ridiculous,.

Good sport, isn't it?

Would you mind rolling
the window down, old girl?

We're getting done like
a couple of kippers here.

- Next time, I bring my mask.

- Like a foggy day in London town.

- You are about to witness
the ravishment of a woman

who has been abducted.

A woman whose initial fear

has mellowed into
curious expectation.

In the morning, she will be
set free, unaware of anything,

except that she has been
loved as never before,

No, please,

Yes, there, there!

- I've never seen a
damn Rolls-Royce

that'd do 140 miles an hour.

- What you fellas
got in that thing?

- Stock.

- Sign here.

- I guess you must have
misconstrued my remark

about my mother planning to
purchase Southern California

as an attempt to influence your
giving me a ticket, Officer.

I am sure that she will
still consider keeping

you all on as a member
of the Highway Patrol,

regardless of how shabbily
you treated her son!

- You might want to tell
that to the judge, sir.

This is for you and the judge!

- Goddamn camel jockey!

Shit. We got
a smokey on our tail.

Watch this.

Officer.

- Pull it over.

- We got no brakes!

No brakes!

Help us, yes, thank you.

Damn no brake gag works every time.

No, we really
don't have any brakes!

- Quit kidding, will you?

Hang on!

- Evel Knievel, you've got
yourself some competition!

Route 66!

- Secret weapon.

Ready, fire!

- How long we been here?

— 20 minutes.

We could have been there by now.

- The road will be open
in five minutes, Father.

- Hey, Father Putz.

Albert Schweitzer.

Hey, I want to thank you for
being so sweet and so nice,

and telling those
people all about us.

You know, back in Missouri.

That we were both
flashers and sex maniacs.

- Well, I just wanted
to return the favour

that you and the chocolate
monk did for us back in Ohio.

- The chocolate monk?

- He can say that.

He can say that, he can say that

'cause he's riding around
with the Goodyear blimp!

- The Goodyear blimp?

- He can say that, he can say that.

- Yeah, I can say that.

- Because if I had the time,

I would take those rosary beads
and stuff 'em up your nose.

- These rosary beads?

— Yeah.

- My rosary beads?

— Yeah.

- You're gonna shove
'em up this nose?

- Up that nose, yeah.

- He can do that.

- He can do that?

- You take a little advice?

- Sure.

- Bring friends.

- A lot of 'em.

- He wants me to bring,

Blimp?

The bride
and groom Cannonballer.

- I told you this honeymoon
scheme would work.

- Good, now you wear
the wig, sweetheart.

- It's hot.

I don't know.

When I was in Egypt making
The Fly Who Bugged Me

it was at least 180 in the shade,

not that there was much shade.

- If CBS would a had
their cameras there

we'd have made Sports
Spectacular for sure.

We just zoomed
right over that train.

- What, you want to try it again?

- All right.

- Don't you look precious,
all dressed up like that.

And wearing a wig too.

Ain't he cute?

- Those guys scare me.

- You just stay close to Moore.

There won't be any trouble.

— He looks like Gregory Peck
in that blue flannel suit.

- This is my friend Shakey.

Allow me to present myself.

I'm on Wall Street.

Maybe we can have lunch sometime.

- We don't ride in Wall Street.

- Nah, we don't
ride in Wall Street.

- Why don't we go and help 'em out?

- What do you mean, we?

- If we do, then that road
opens up and you're long gone.

Now, why don't you?

You're the Good Samaritan.

- Besides, I'm wearing these.

- Maybe you would like to
complete your ensemble.

No.

There's something else
of yours that I want.

Really, what's that?

- Your ass!

- Dun-dun-dah!

Shit.

- Well, shall we join the fracas?

- Step back, my dear.

I must warn you. I'm Roger Moore.

- Who?

- Roger Moore.

- We'll run in there.

Boom-boo-boom, pow, pow, pow!

Knock 'em flat out.

Then we go.

We could still win it, okay?

- We can do that.

- We can do that, yeah.

- We can do that.

- You'll be sorry!

Let me down!

- Dun-dun-dah!

Take that!

- You're so macho.

- Watch this!

- Need some help, Father?

- Nah.

- Give me somebody!

- What, are you crazy, Greek?

How could you possibly change
odds in the middle of things?

- Hold it.

You wouldn't last five minutes
in the New York subway.

Now that's the way it's done.

- Is that good to drink?

- I don't know, I never tried it.

- Hold it, hold it.

You wanna try this side?

— Yeah.

- Need some help?

- You get out of here.

- Right.

Dun—dun-dah!

Fool!

- Thanks, Shakey.

- Excuse me.

- Get this guy, Shakey!

- Excuse me, Father,
but the road's open.

Thanks.

- Fenderbaum, the road's open!

- Bye.

- Let's go, hit it!

— LL“ Come on,
come on, faster, faster!

- I'm trying.

— Come on, faster!

- Drive it like
Captain Chaos would.

- Ru try.

- What do you take off the mask for?

- I didn't take off the
mask, he took off the mask.

- We need him Victor.

- I don't know where he is.

- Very interesting fellow.

I'd like to probe his case.

- I don't believe this shit.

Don't want him around, he's around.

When we want him, he's not around.

I'm gonna get a beer!

Dun-dun-dah!

It's only ten blocks to the finish!

I feel very confident that
we will be triumphant!

What the hell was that?

- A Lamborghini.

- Is it in the race?

- Catch it!

- Will you go faster, come on!

- I'm trying!

- I've seen every single
one of your movies

at least three or four times.

- Four times?

- I think we got it goin', baby.

- Yeah, we're looking good.

- The Greek's gonna pay us money!

- Gosh, wait until
I tell my friends

I was sitting next
to George Hamilton!

- George Hamilton?

- We got 'em!

We're not Iosin' it!

- Look out!

- Okay, it's a foot race!

- I've got the card.

- No, give me that, Doc.

Come on, it's a foot race!

- Have no fear, Chaos
is here. Dun—dun-dah!

- Take it and win, Captain!

Come on,
Chaos, you can do it!

Anyone
need medical attention?

- Go, go, Chaos!

- We're gonna win!

- All I've got to say is

it's not a very
sporting way to win.

What do you say, Father?

- Not a sporting way,
it's a shitty way to win.

- We're gonna win, we're gonna win!

- Help, help!

Somebody save my
baby, he's drowning!

- No, Chaos, no!

No problem, fair lady.

I will save your
baby. Have no fear!

My baby, my baby!

Thank you, you're such a brave man.

You don't know what
this means to me.

My baby, I love you.

- JJ, I saved that woman's dog.

- Victor, we could
have won that race.

You understand
what I'm telling you?

We could have won it!

- You understand that?

You had to go and
pull that stupid stunt.

He's right, Victor.

- We are sick of Captain Chaos.

We are so sick of Captain
Chaos that we could throw up.

So, you know what, Victor?

There's not gonna be
any more Captain Chaos.

No more!

You see what I'm telling you?

No more!

No more Captain Chaos ever!

Now, what do you think of that?

- I don't care, because,

I've always wanted
to be, Captain USA!

Dun—dun-dah!

It's a dirty job, but
somebody's got to do it.

- Who won the race?

What do you get for last?

- Well, well.

How do you all feel, now that

you have raped the
American highways?

- Beautiful.

- Wonderful, we love it.

- Great.

- Old chap, I suggest you get

a grip on yourself or
better, on one of these.

- I'll take anything.

- And feel free to use
the lighter in my car, Mr?

Foyt.

- Foyt.

- Wait till he
touches that lighter.

— Ain't nothin' happening.

- That's funny.

Excuse me.

Mr. Foyt, how did you light that?

- Well, with the
lighter, of course.

- That's odd.

If I'm
not filming next year,

we'll do this again.

didn't we do good?

♪ Sunshine shining your way I

I Do you hear a song that
sings inside of you ♪

.|" You gotta have a dream
to make a dream come true J“

I Learn to reach for the sky J"

♪ For the top, for the prize I

- Stop it.

Stop it.

Okay, okay, breath.

Wait a minute, I got something.

This'll help, no,
this will help you.

- No, don't hit me.

- No, I'm not gonna hit you.

- No.

- I'm not gonna hit ya.

I'm not gonna hit ya.

Listen to me, I'm not gonna hit ya.

Watch, watch.

Okay, okay.

- Okay, I'm ready now.

Here we go.

You see that shit.

- I'm ready, I'm ready, I
swear to God, I'm ready!

We're off.

- Where's he gonna sit?

Where's he gonna sit?

- I warned you not to
interfere in my affairs.

- Steven, put away,
Seymour, excuse me.

That's all right, I'll
answer to anything.

— Yeah.

- You see, even in the
deepest family relations.

My business is not
worth a.

- Thank you, Victor.

Mark.

- As you probably know, we're,

we're the favourites to,

be the winning racers tomorrow
in the Cannonball race,

which is gonna be poured.

Good evening, ladies.

- Evening.

- Hello.

- My name is JJ
McClure and this is my.

Next year we're going for the...

- Yes?

Ooh!

- Perfect.

Perfect.

Hey!

Better than...

Cut!

- We have to get this
woman, the senator's wife,

to Philadelphia by, make
that California, will you?

- We're very close.

- Don't hit me.

- Because if I had enough time,

I would take those rosary bleeds
and stuff 'em up your nose.

- These bleeds?

- Those bleeds, yeah.

You're gonna take these,
bleeds and shove 'em up?

- I'll take these bleeds here.

Mark.

- I don't care.

I don't care.

- Stop laughing!

- I don't care, because,

- You're gonna get a slap.

- I always wanted to
be Captain America!

It's a living.

I'm so sorry.

He laughed, he
laughed, he laughed first.

Mr. Martin laughed first.

- Why were you laughing?

- Well, because he
laughed and you hit me!

- Cut it.