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1
00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:07,007
It's a lot like whack-a-mole
and Skee-Ball and dodgeball,
2
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,801
a little spearfishing,
and a touch of Clue.
3
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:11,761
Wow, steel ball
sounds like
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,972
a very dangerous game,
Jichael Mordan.
5
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:15,640
People die,
but it's not dangerous.
6
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,101
Oh, my God, it's my bed.
7
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,189
That's so crazy.
8
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:25,859
My bed is never
at the end of the hallway.
9
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,742
Sunny, you're so grounded,
so adjusted,
10
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,494
so emotionally aware
of who you are.
11
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,621
I wanna put
a baby in you, girl.
12
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:39,956
Absolutely not.
13
00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,501
Now if you're
the mother of my child,
14
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,086
what should your allowance
be like?
15
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,379
10,000?
16
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,672
A week?
17
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,842
Great idea.
And, like, 20 nannies.
18
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:53,470
One for each day
of the month.
19
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,930
Give me one sec.
20
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,142
- I'll be right back!
- Hey, no problem.
21
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:02,645
I'll just watch some good old
Steel TV till you get back.
22
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:10,361
Come on, come on.
Where is it when you need it?
23
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:12,781
So, funny story.
24
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,950
I left my uterus at home.
But if you give me a few minutes…
25
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,244
- I can run over and grab it.
- I have a tournament.
26
00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:20,205
At the Bermuda Triangle
in about two hours.
27
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,624
Well, we can just make
a baby when you come back.
28
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,209
I'm not comin' back.
29
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:27,087
Alright, well,
be back in a jiff.
30
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:37,514
Ladi, Tulip, I lost my uterus,
and I need help finding it.
31
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,307
That's wonderful!
32
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:42,102
Hell, yeah.
I've been dyin' for a reason
33
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,978
to try out this new weapon
I purchased.
34
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:47,816
Hey, I thought
I made it crystal fuckin' clear
35
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,442
that you ain't welcome here.
36
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,319
Wait, what? Why?
37
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,959
Okay, fuck this.
38
00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:13,925
Thief!
39
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:25,645
Jerk.
Anyways, do you remember…
40
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,230
- Where you had it last?
- Had what?
41
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,191
My uterus.
Not even a little bit.
42
00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:31,901
But it feels like
a recent thing, though.
43
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,362
Maybe it's best
we retrace your steps.
44
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,364
Let's start with where
you were last night.
45
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,700
So, by the time he tried
46
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,660
to get the third tentacle in,
I was like…
47
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,121
… buddy,
we just fuckin' met.
48
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,625
There's no fucking way
you're getting in here.
49
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,044
Why?
Because it's gay alien night?
50
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,046
Because we aren't gay aliens?
51
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,799
Look, bitch,
the correct term is gaylien.
52
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,342
And you know that.
53
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,303
I don't know shit,
you galactiscunt.
54
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:01,055
Mr. Gaylien, I'd like
to apologize for my friend.
55
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,391
She has a lot to unlearn
about cosmo-sexuals.
56
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,268
We're looking
for something special.
57
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,937
- You need to be more specific.
- An above-average uterus.
58
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,440
Fine, I'll scan the parameters.
59
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,151
It's not in here.
60
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,861
You didn't even fucking look.
61
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,032
I do see a purse
in the north corner booth,
62
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:21,117
but you bitches look like
you don't carry purses.
63
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,911
- So…
- That's it!
64
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:25,997
Thank you, Mr. Gaylien.
65
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,834
So glad I'm not from
this ghetto-ass planet!
66
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,837
You never told us
why you need your uterus.
67
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,464
Jichael Mordan
wants to make a baby with me
68
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:35,798
and bankroll
my entire existence.
69
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,217
Jichael Mordan?
70
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,885
The greatest steel ball player
of all time
71
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,428
wants you to have his kids?
72
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,430
You're a steel ball fan?
73
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,766
Jichael's steel balls
have been sucked into more holes
74
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,059
than anyone in the league.
75
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:49,062
Speaking of balls,
I know a place we can look.
76
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,025
The mechanic?
Why would he have it?
77
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,527
This is between you, me,
and a tree, but a few weeks ago,
78
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,029
he gave it a spit shine
on the house.
79
00:03:58,154 --> 00:03:59,364
Yeah, girl!
80
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:04,077
Yeah! Come on.
Look it, look. Look at my moves.
81
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:08,081
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the bitch who made Jamal.
82
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,792
Well, well, well,
Jamal's trash girlfriend.
83
00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:13,753
I'm trash, but you're getting
head from a vacuum cleaner.
84
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,546
What are you doin' here?
We're closed.
85
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:18,675
Let's stay focused.
Sir, we're looking for a uterus.
86
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:21,135
You lost your fuckin' uterus?
I knew you were scum.
87
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,720
Who said it was my uterus?
88
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,848
After you trashed my hangar,
toyed with my equipment,
89
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,559
and got chips on the control panel
of the motherboard?
90
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:31,020
You're the most irresponsible
person I ever met.
91
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:32,814
I wasn't irresponsible
when you were begging me
92
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,774
to step on your balls,
now, was I?
93
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,442
Now, I see the connection.
94
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,444
Take your wombless ass
and get the fuck out.
95
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,863
Nobody talks to her
like that but me.
96
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,409
- Get off me!
- Ladi, let's go.
97
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,369
Let me un-alive
that motherfucker!
98
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,579
Where were we?
Yeah.
99
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,209
Hi, Jichael.
100
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:54,919
Sorry it's taking me
so long to get back.
101
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:58,256
I ended up falling
in the toilet.
102
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,259
It's okay. Bermuda Triangle
just showed up to my house
103
00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,761
and suggested I give away
all my money and assets now,
104
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,556
but only to someone
I have blood ties to.
105
00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:10,560
The Bermuda Triangle
is a location.
106
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,979
That's what I said.
Anyways, I'll do my best
107
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:15,315
to stall them
for about 45 minutes.
108
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:17,817
Oh my God.
109
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,986
I have 45 minutes to get pregnant
and take possession
110
00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:21,904
of everything Jichael owns.
We have to hurry.
111
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,448
Let's do some
object association.
112
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,658
What was near the uterus
that you can remember?
113
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,286
Arugula.
114
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,371
Dolphin penis.
115
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:33,458
And, um, water balloons?
116
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,418
Oh, shit.
I remember now.
117
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:38,212
It was the day we harassed
that Wehovah's Jitness.
118
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,923
Have you heard the good news?
119
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,635
Welcome to
our watchtower, bitch.
120
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,180
The kingdom
does not approve.
121
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,727
Damn, we're out already.
122
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,771
I got one more.
123
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,899
Wait, wait.
What the hell is that?
124
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,651
My uterus.
125
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,862
You don't think you're gonna
need that at some point?
126
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,739
No. I'm a piece of shit.
127
00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:08,368
Every man I've ever loved
was right about me.
128
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,620
Having impeccable
facial structure
129
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:13,164
doesn't mean I have
what it takes to be a partner
130
00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:14,707
worth loving
or committing to.
131
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,626
It's probably best
that I destroy it.
132
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,128
Sunny, being in
a committed relationship
133
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,464
and needing a uterus
are not mutually exclusive.
134
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:23,800
Tight.
135
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,178
Oh, no!
136
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:33,101
Welp, so long,
lazy millionaire woman future.
137
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:34,685
Like I've always said,
138
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,146
organized religion
ruins everything.
139
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,648
Speaking of religion,
140
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,566
I know a place
where I can get a fresh one.
141
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,944
Like, a really,
really fresh one.
142
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,154
Like, a terrifyingly
fresh one.
143
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,031
Like, it's still
bleedin' and shit.
144
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,449
- Can we just go?
- Yes.
145
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,204
Antelopo, lorem ipsum.
146
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,790
Antelopo, lorem ipsum.
147
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,418
Antelopo, lorem ipsum.
148
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,964
Hootie-hoo!
Hello? Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi.
149
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,715
I'm looking for a Ted.
150
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:08,094
Ted Banks.
Did a Ted Banks come in today?
151
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,470
- Sunny?
- Ted!
152
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,640
- You son of a bitch!
- It's been ages!
153
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,016
Come on back.
154
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:21,023
Hiding safe
from the blinding,
155
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,610
Light that's reminded me
156
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,779
Of you!
157
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:30,074
How was Rebecca's
banana nut bread?
158
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:31,576
Was it too nutty?
159
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:34,704
Delicious, Ted, but maybe use
a third of the walnuts next time.
160
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:35,997
- Right.
- I'm allergic.
161
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,457
Right.
So, what's up?
162
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,042
Long story short,
I threw my uterus at someone,
163
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,170
and I need
another one now, please.
164
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:44,046
Classic Sunny.
165
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,298
Let's check
the lost and found.
166
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,801
Rebecca's thinking about getting
that surgery you got as well.
167
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,136
We got three little ones
who we love,
168
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,346
but it's like three's company,
four's a crowd.
169
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,307
I think it's a woman's
right to choose
170
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:57,393
to pop their uterus
in or out at their leisure.
171
00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:00,813
I mean, it's theirs, am I right?
People should have free will.
172
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,523
Couldn't agree more.
173
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,403
Tulip, what's
gotten into you?
174
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,988
You know me.
I'm an ally.
175
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,282
A few of the girls here
are considering the operation.
176
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:12,533
Some have done it
and decided
177
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:13,868
they didn't want
their uterus anymore,
178
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,454
so they donated it to
the Egosystems Sperm Bank.
179
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:17,914
The sperm bank!
180
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,499
Have you checked there?
181
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,000
You could probably
just get a fresh one.
182
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,668
Thanks, Ted.
183
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,795
Bring it in.
184
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,386
Terrence,
can you knock it the fuck off?
185
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:34,931
Sorry.
186
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,475
One fresh uterus, please.
187
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:41,145
This is a sperm bank,
sweetie, okay?
188
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:46,275
Sperm.
S-P-E-R-M, sperm.
189
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:50,029
S as in Sam,
P as in pistachio.
190
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,697
We get it.
I was told you guys
191
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,116
routinely receive
uterus donations.
192
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,619
You were told wrong.
193
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,747
Oh, hello there!
So, where do we want this pack
194
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,750
of routinely delivered
uteruses-es-es?
195
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:04,961
Got damn!
196
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,380
You said all you had
was sperm.
197
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,925
Miss Grumpy COD Receptionist,
may we please have one?
198
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,843
My friend here is ready
to have a baby,
199
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,471
and the father is not only
incredibly wealthy,
200
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,140
he once juggled
37 balls in one night.
201
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:21,602
You seem like
the last person on Earth
202
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:23,145
who should become a mom.
203
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:28,234
Yeah. There we go.
204
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,554
Wow, that bullet
just conspired in my favor.
205
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,017
Asshole.
206
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,646
My bad.
207
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:08,691
I've been dying to try out
this new gun, like, all day.
208
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:11,444
It's fine.
It's just not meant to be.
209
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,446
Okay, I'll admit,
it did feel really nice
210
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,906
to think about having a tiny
Sunny running around here,
211
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,034
stuntin' on these
little snot-nosed bitches.
212
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,952
Motherhood just isn't
in the cards, alright?
213
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,038
For what it's worth,
214
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:23,748
I don't agree
with anything you said
215
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,499
when we were drunk
on the balcony that day.
216
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,168
Oh, my God, Ladi, that's…
217
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,503
that's a really
nice thing to say.
218
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,340
I have another box in the truck.
219
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:36,427
Dude, then why did you let me
give this whole dumbass speech?
220
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:37,720
I bet you do, booty.
221
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,474
There he is, right there.
222
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:42,808
The COD of my dreams.
223
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:45,269
- Are you ready to make a baby?
- Absolutely.
224
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,314
Where's your dick?
225
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,066
Shit.
226
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,068
That damned triangle!
227
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,487
It took everything.
228
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,118
God!
229
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:05,831
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