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1
00:00:03,758 --> 00:00:05,517
What's up, sheeple?
2
00:00:05,620 --> 00:00:09,620
It's your g-g-g-g-g-g-girl,
Lisa Love
3
00:00:09,724 --> 00:00:11,275
on your timeline.
4
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,206
By the end of the day?!
5
00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:19,413
That's impossible!
6
00:00:21,275 --> 00:00:23,931
The, the help center is not
going to survive
7
00:00:24,034 --> 00:00:25,517
without that grant!
8
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:27,172
What's good, sheeple?!
9
00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:30,172
What's popping, sheeple?
10
00:00:31,551 --> 00:00:35,758
I said,
I will do the best I can!
11
00:00:35,862 --> 00:00:37,241
Thank you.
12
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,413
[groans]
13
00:00:41,137 --> 00:00:43,413
Mrs. Payne, let me get your
advice real quick.
14
00:00:43,517 --> 00:00:45,172
What you think of
these catch phrases?
15
00:00:45,275 --> 00:00:47,034
What's up, sheeple?
16
00:00:47,931 --> 00:00:49,379
What's popping, sheeple?!
17
00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:53,965
Uh, Lisa, I think you need to
just use subscripts
18
00:00:54,068 --> 00:00:55,758
for whatever it is
that you're doing.
19
00:00:55,862 --> 00:00:58,103
And what is Sheeple?
20
00:00:58,206 --> 00:01:01,034
Sheep plus people, get it?
21
00:01:01,137 --> 00:01:02,448
'Cause they follow me.
22
00:01:02,551 --> 00:01:05,103
It's like kind of biblical,
don't you think?
23
00:01:05,206 --> 00:01:08,793
Well, I think you're
mispronouncing blasphemous.
24
00:01:10,482 --> 00:01:14,000
How many people
are following you?
25
00:01:14,103 --> 00:01:15,655
10,000.
26
00:01:15,758 --> 00:01:20,000
And why are 10,000 sheeple
following you?
27
00:01:20,103 --> 00:01:22,137
'Cause I was pretty popular at
my previous job.
28
00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:23,689
[chuckles]
29
00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:27,172
Yeah, now we know why
Little Bo Peep lost her sheep,
30
00:01:27,275 --> 00:01:28,758
'cause they crazy.
31
00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:32,448
That's good.
32
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:36,448
I should change my handle to
your girl, Little Bo Peep.
33
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,344
-Lisa...
-Hey!
34
00:01:39,448 --> 00:01:42,793
It's your girl, Lil' Bo Peep!
35
00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:44,206
What you think?
36
00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:46,689
Lisa, I think that I don't have
time for this.
37
00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:48,206
I'm in a crisis.
38
00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:53,827
If I don't get 75 new
applicants today
39
00:01:53,931 --> 00:01:57,172
the help center's not gonna get
our grant matched.
40
00:01:57,275 --> 00:01:59,620
Well, how many
do you have so far?
41
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:05,310
Well, okay, the woman who thinks
that the help center
42
00:02:05,413 --> 00:02:09,827
is a skating rink for the ghost
of Martin Luther King Sr.
43
00:02:10,758 --> 00:02:13,379
Including her, one.
44
00:02:14,758 --> 00:02:16,103
You should make a video.
45
00:02:16,206 --> 00:02:19,172
There is no way in the world
I'm going to put Skating Sally
46
00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:21,103
on a video.
47
00:02:21,206 --> 00:02:23,586
-Not of her, of you.
-Of me?
48
00:02:23,689 --> 00:02:26,034
You know, appeal to the women so
they register.
49
00:02:26,137 --> 00:02:31,275
And how would I
put them on TV?
50
00:02:31,379 --> 00:02:35,034
Mrs. Payne,
this is the 21st century,
51
00:02:35,137 --> 00:02:36,620
everything you need
is on your phone.
52
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,206
That thing?
53
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:41,137
Really?
54
00:02:41,241 --> 00:02:44,413
Okay, maybe not that phone.
55
00:02:44,517 --> 00:02:47,758
You need a new phone
and burn that one.
56
00:02:47,862 --> 00:02:52,379
Oh, is that what they mean when
they say burner phone?
57
00:02:53,724 --> 00:02:55,793
They tell me that all the time,
burner phone, burner phone.
58
00:02:55,896 --> 00:02:58,206
I'm in Jurassic Park.
59
00:03:20,965 --> 00:03:23,482
So, you ready, Mrs. Payne?
60
00:03:23,586 --> 00:03:27,551
Ooh, I'm not used to everybody
making a fuss over me.
61
00:03:28,586 --> 00:03:30,724
But I could get used to this!
62
00:03:30,827 --> 00:03:32,034
Thank you, Harmony,
thank you, Spice.
63
00:03:32,137 --> 00:03:34,482
Yes, Queen!
64
00:03:34,586 --> 00:03:36,068
Okay.
65
00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:37,206
You see you?
66
00:03:37,310 --> 00:03:38,482
I see you, I see you.
67
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,310
-You see me?
- I see you.
68
00:03:40,413 --> 00:03:44,344
Well, I really can't see you
'cause these bushes
69
00:03:44,448 --> 00:03:47,241
on my eyelids.
70
00:03:47,344 --> 00:03:49,000
You look amazing, Mrs. Payne.
71
00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:50,344
[grunts]
72
00:03:50,448 --> 00:03:52,482
You're gonna have plenty of
clout in no time.
73
00:03:52,586 --> 00:03:54,793
What should I do with the clout?
74
00:03:54,896 --> 00:03:58,724
Sell it and use the funds
for the help center!
75
00:03:58,827 --> 00:04:01,482
This is gonna be
harder than I thought.
76
00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:06,275
Um, first we'll come up with a
catch phrase for you.
77
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,068
Why do I need that?
78
00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:11,000
-Merch!
-Ah!
79
00:04:11,103 --> 00:04:12,448
Is that French?
80
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,137
It's English for money.
81
00:04:15,241 --> 00:04:16,517
Merch, merchandise.
82
00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:19,793
-Oh!
-Hoodies, t-shirts, stickers.
83
00:04:19,896 --> 00:04:21,689
You put your catchphrase on it,
you make some money.
84
00:04:21,793 --> 00:04:24,551
I don't know if I need that.
85
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:27,517
What the help is going on?!
86
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:29,827
Huh, woo,
you like that one, huh?
87
00:04:29,931 --> 00:04:30,896
[chuckling]
88
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,862
And what can I catch with that
phrase?
89
00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:35,275
You know what?
90
00:04:35,379 --> 00:04:37,655
You're right, that's too long.
91
00:04:39,241 --> 00:04:41,862
Maybe this one...
92
00:04:41,965 --> 00:04:43,655
Queens stand up!
93
00:04:47,586 --> 00:04:50,862
Well, can I sit down
and go viral?
94
00:04:52,103 --> 00:04:53,862
-It's just an expression.
-Oh.
95
00:04:54,689 --> 00:04:55,931
[beep]
96
00:04:57,724 --> 00:05:03,551
Queens, would you do me a favor
today and stand up?
97
00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:05,137
No, no, stop, stop, stop.
98
00:05:05,241 --> 00:05:06,551
-Please.
-Stop.
99
00:05:06,655 --> 00:05:08,448
Mrs. Payne, I need energy.
100
00:05:08,551 --> 00:05:11,448
I need you to be infectious!
101
00:05:11,551 --> 00:05:13,551
I need you to connect
with the audience.
102
00:05:13,655 --> 00:05:16,103
Stand up, Queens!
103
00:05:16,206 --> 00:05:17,241
Louder!
104
00:05:17,344 --> 00:05:19,758
Queens, stand up!
105
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:21,172
More energy!
106
00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:25,655
♪ Queeeeens stand up
107
00:05:27,379 --> 00:05:29,068
That's it.
108
00:05:29,172 --> 00:05:30,896
Keep going
109
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,448
♪ Where, where, where, where,
where are you my Queens♪
110
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,517
♪ Queens, stand up
111
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,517
♪ Where my Queens at
112
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:42,034
-[phone dinging]
-What's that?
113
00:05:42,137 --> 00:05:43,379
You got a like.
114
00:05:43,482 --> 00:05:44,620
I did?
115
00:05:44,724 --> 00:05:46,000
That's easy, thank you.
116
00:05:46,103 --> 00:05:47,068
Thank you, Queens!
117
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:48,310
Mwah, mwah, mwah, thank you!
118
00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:49,655
Thank you so much!
119
00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:52,275
How do I get them to register?
120
00:05:52,379 --> 00:05:53,793
Say link in bio.
121
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,172
Link in bio...
122
00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:56,862
I know that's French.
123
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:59,344
And link in bio!
124
00:05:59,448 --> 00:06:02,241
Link in bio everybody!
125
00:06:02,344 --> 00:06:03,551
It's a link to register.
126
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,103
Calvin set it up for you.
127
00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:06,172
Thank you, Calvin.
128
00:06:06,275 --> 00:06:07,793
[phone dinging]
129
00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:10,275
-More likes?
-And comments.
130
00:06:10,379 --> 00:06:11,620
And comments?
131
00:06:11,724 --> 00:06:13,000
Wait, check this out.
132
00:06:13,103 --> 00:06:17,482
So at Crown and Queen says,
"What's up, Queen?
133
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,344
"She's hilarious."
134
00:06:19,448 --> 00:06:20,517
-I'm hilarious?
-You're hilarious.
135
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:23,034
You hilarious!
136
00:06:23,931 --> 00:06:25,586
Now hit 'em with your message.
137
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,827
Tell 'em all about the help
center and what you need.
138
00:06:27,931 --> 00:06:30,965
Okay, ooh, but first can I tell
'em something else?
139
00:06:31,068 --> 00:06:32,448
What's that?
140
00:06:32,551 --> 00:06:36,034
Queens, where you at?
141
00:06:36,137 --> 00:06:39,586
Queens, hey Queens!
142
00:06:39,689 --> 00:06:44,862
♪ Where my Queens, Queens at♪
143
00:06:47,275 --> 00:06:49,586
Pops, what's going on,
what's the emergency?
144
00:06:49,689 --> 00:06:51,000
-Hey, hey--
-Feeling okay?
145
00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:52,862
Yeah, I'm fine.
146
00:06:52,965 --> 00:06:54,034
Hey, look here.
147
00:06:54,137 --> 00:06:55,793
I need you to tell me which
flyer you like,
148
00:06:55,896 --> 00:07:00,103
the one with just me or the one
with me and the barbecue sauce.
149
00:07:02,517 --> 00:07:06,172
Pops, you called me over here
early this morning for this?
150
00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:08,655
Since you here, which one?
151
00:07:08,758 --> 00:07:12,241
Well, it's about the brand
so I say...
152
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,379
I know, the one with just me.
153
00:07:14,482 --> 00:07:15,724
I was thinking the same thing.
154
00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:17,965
No, I was gonna say
you and the sauce.
155
00:07:18,068 --> 00:07:20,551
People are buying the sauce,
not the person.
156
00:07:20,655 --> 00:07:22,689
Sell the sauce, not the person.
157
00:07:22,793 --> 00:07:24,793
That's marketing 1-0-1.
158
00:07:24,896 --> 00:07:28,758
Yeah, says the man who took six
years to get a four-year degree.
159
00:07:29,758 --> 00:07:31,413
I'm going back home and to bed.
160
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:32,862
Wait, wait, wait a minute, son.
161
00:07:32,965 --> 00:07:36,206
Come here, come here, come here.
162
00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:39,172
I need you to help me
hashtag this, come on.
163
00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:40,448
We gotta hashtag it.
164
00:07:40,551 --> 00:07:41,827
You mean make it go viral?
165
00:07:41,931 --> 00:07:44,655
No, I'm not trying to
get nobody sick.
166
00:07:44,758 --> 00:07:47,068
What you giving out viruses for?
167
00:07:47,172 --> 00:07:48,448
What's wrong with you?
168
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,413
Pops, you can't just say you
want to be a trending topic
169
00:07:50,517 --> 00:07:52,896
and it happens, you need a
social media campaign for that.
170
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,551
I mean, it has to be
targeted and aimed
171
00:07:54,655 --> 00:07:56,517
to your intended audience.
172
00:07:56,620 --> 00:08:00,103
Okay, my audience is
people with teeth.
173
00:08:00,206 --> 00:08:03,344
Even though my Que is it's
tender enough
174
00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:07,689
that you can suck it through a
straw, you heard me?
175
00:08:07,793 --> 00:08:10,448
Give me the flyer.
176
00:08:10,551 --> 00:08:12,172
Here's that one.
177
00:08:12,275 --> 00:08:14,965
Uh, this is the flyer?
178
00:08:15,068 --> 00:08:18,068
What did you make this with,
magic marker and misery?
179
00:08:18,172 --> 00:08:21,000
This looks like something that
Calvin Jr did when he was three.
180
00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:25,620
Okay, are you here to help or
are you gonna just keep hating?
181
00:08:25,724 --> 00:08:27,931
Look Pops, if you really want to
make a splash
182
00:08:28,034 --> 00:08:31,000
post something funny with you
and your sauce.
183
00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:33,551
Now, I'll come back and help you
with the camera later.
184
00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:35,862
Oh, see now you're on the team!
185
00:08:35,965 --> 00:08:38,172
Now you're on the team, that's
my boy!
186
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:40,517
Listen to your followers'
requests, they love
187
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:41,931
when you engage with them.
188
00:08:42,034 --> 00:08:45,206
You know, you need something
funny like a story.
189
00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:47,758
Oh okay, I can tell them, I can
tell them about
190
00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:50,862
when you thought your nipple was
a pimple.
191
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:53,413
No Pops, something
quick and dirty like,
192
00:08:53,517 --> 00:08:55,517
we need a short video.
193
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:57,034
Short vid...
194
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,689
Oh, you know I got some VHS of
me and your momma.
195
00:08:59,793 --> 00:09:01,034
No, I don't wanna hear it!
196
00:09:01,137 --> 00:09:03,310
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
197
00:09:03,413 --> 00:09:06,586
About how we would plant
vegetables in the garden
198
00:09:06,689 --> 00:09:08,482
before you were born.
199
00:09:08,586 --> 00:09:10,275
Oh, well that's not that bad.
200
00:09:10,379 --> 00:09:13,379
I mean, it's boring but it's not
that bad at all.
201
00:09:13,482 --> 00:09:15,689
Oh, you want some action?
202
00:09:15,793 --> 00:09:18,862
Look, I got some betas too.
203
00:09:18,965 --> 00:09:20,413
Ooh, I got this one beta.
204
00:09:20,517 --> 00:09:22,793
You know, your momma was wild
before she started teaching
205
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,275
bible class,
she was a freaky deak.
206
00:09:26,379 --> 00:09:27,482
Everybody knew it!
207
00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:29,000
Let me go get this beta!
208
00:09:29,551 --> 00:09:31,965
[music]
209
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,000
So, how's it going?
210
00:09:35,103 --> 00:09:37,000
Are you social media famous yet?
211
00:09:37,103 --> 00:09:40,827
I just see a lot of hearts
212
00:09:40,931 --> 00:09:44,931
and no new registrants yet
for the help center.
213
00:09:45,034 --> 00:09:48,931
And why are people sending me
these little crying faces?
214
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,793
That means they
think you're funny.
215
00:09:51,896 --> 00:09:53,724
That's good, you're connecting
with people.
216
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,655
Well my face is gonna be the one
crying
217
00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:59,310
if I don't get this grant.
218
00:09:59,413 --> 00:10:00,482
You know what we should do?
219
00:10:00,586 --> 00:10:01,896
We should go live.
220
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,448
We're not already live?
221
00:10:03,551 --> 00:10:05,931
Technically yes,
but if we livestream
222
00:10:06,034 --> 00:10:09,103
it'll be uninterrupted and you
can get your message across
223
00:10:09,206 --> 00:10:11,586
in real time and get people to
sign up right now.
224
00:10:11,689 --> 00:10:13,551
Okay, I like it.
225
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:16,931
And then we will be live live,
right?
226
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:19,413
Soon as I press that button
you'll see the number of people
227
00:10:19,517 --> 00:10:21,827
watching at the top of the
screen and you'll be broadcast
228
00:10:21,931 --> 00:10:23,103
all over the world.
229
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,206
Yes!
230
00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:26,620
Ooh, I got one more thing
I need to do.
231
00:10:26,724 --> 00:10:28,724
[humming]
232
00:10:30,068 --> 00:10:33,275
You wanna look in the camera and
say, "Queens, stand up",
233
00:10:33,379 --> 00:10:35,896
don't you?
234
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,068
No.
235
00:10:37,172 --> 00:10:38,137
[laughing]
236
00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:40,000
I wanna get ready
for my followers.
237
00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:42,758
I need more hair and makeup.
238
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,827
Contour me, highlight me.
Contour me, highlight me.
239
00:10:47,931 --> 00:10:49,827
-[Lisa] I got you. I got you.
-[music]
240
00:10:51,689 --> 00:10:53,586
[music]
241
00:10:53,689 --> 00:10:55,068
Oh!
242
00:10:55,172 --> 00:10:58,896
Look at this, Calvin got me
already set up.
243
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,275
That's my son, that's my son!
244
00:11:01,379 --> 00:11:02,931
Love you, Calvin.
245
00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,620
Okay, so where
I got to get myself?
246
00:11:05,724 --> 00:11:09,275
I just need to turn it on.
247
00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:12,448
-[beeping]
-Bam!
248
00:11:12,551 --> 00:11:13,931
Hello, good people.
249
00:11:14,034 --> 00:11:15,551
Hello, this is Curtis Payne.
250
00:11:15,655 --> 00:11:20,448
I'm the owner of Curtis Payne,
the Sauce Boss "wipe me down."
251
00:11:20,551 --> 00:11:23,275
I'm here to let you know my
stuff is so juicy
252
00:11:23,379 --> 00:11:26,137
you can jump in it
and swim in that thing.
253
00:11:26,241 --> 00:11:27,379
You heard me?
254
00:11:27,482 --> 00:11:29,379
Swim in it!
255
00:11:29,482 --> 00:11:32,310
And if you want to, you can suck
it through a straw.
256
00:11:32,413 --> 00:11:33,862
That's how good it is.
257
00:11:33,965 --> 00:11:35,517
Huh?
[phone dinging]
258
00:11:36,965 --> 00:11:41,586
Circle-Around-The-A QueenSheets
259
00:11:41,689 --> 00:11:43,758
said, "Take it off."
260
00:11:43,862 --> 00:11:46,310
Well, you have a little freaky,
ain't you?
261
00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:47,586
Talking about...
262
00:11:47,689 --> 00:11:52,275
Okay, Calvin said give the
people what they request.
263
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,310
So you gonna get a peek
and that's it.
264
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:56,482
Okay, that's it!
265
00:11:56,586 --> 00:11:58,275
[laughing]
266
00:11:58,379 --> 00:12:01,862
No more, you gotta pay
for the rest.
267
00:12:03,172 --> 00:12:07,551
Now, you can use my sauce
on ribs, chicken,
268
00:12:07,655 --> 00:12:10,413
and, and, and, and, and lamb.
269
00:12:10,517 --> 00:12:11,896
That's how good it is.
270
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,448
Even if you want to you can use
it as body lotion.
271
00:12:14,551 --> 00:12:17,448
And you can smear it all over
yourself, huh?
272
00:12:17,551 --> 00:12:19,137
Curtis!
273
00:12:19,241 --> 00:12:23,103
Curtis Payne,
what are you doing?!
274
00:12:23,206 --> 00:12:25,344
Shh, baby, I'm making a video
for my followers.
275
00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:26,586
They so nasty!
276
00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:28,931
-Mr. Payne!
-[unintelligible]
277
00:12:29,034 --> 00:12:31,103
No, you stop,
no you turn it off.
278
00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:32,310
Stop it.
279
00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:33,413
Not a chance!
280
00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:35,655
This thing right here says
I'm talking to
281
00:12:35,758 --> 00:12:39,448
1,875 people right now.
282
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:42,620
Okay, Mr. Payne, I see you
getting your clout on.
283
00:12:42,724 --> 00:12:45,517
You're not helping, Lisa.
284
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:46,896
Pops, what are you doing?
285
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,034
I'm doing what you told me to.
286
00:12:48,137 --> 00:12:52,068
Curtis, explain yourself.
287
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,068
Baby, Calvin set this up for me.
288
00:12:54,172 --> 00:12:56,172
-No.
-So I could make a video
289
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,793
for, so I could get some more
followers for my barbecue sauce.
290
00:12:58,896 --> 00:13:02,000
No, Calvin brought this so you
can make a video
291
00:13:02,103 --> 00:13:04,103
for your little three followers.
292
00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:08,241
No, this says 1,875.
293
00:13:08,344 --> 00:13:10,137
No, those are Mrs. Payne's.
294
00:13:10,241 --> 00:13:13,448
I set this up for her.
295
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:15,586
Oh, but then who are these
people listening to me
296
00:13:15,689 --> 00:13:17,517
talk about my barbecue sauce?
297
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:23,482
Woman that I am trying to get to
register for the help center.
298
00:13:23,586 --> 00:13:28,586
They need some help
'cause they some freaky deaks.
299
00:13:28,689 --> 00:13:31,379
They a little freaky,
that's all I'm saying.
300
00:13:31,482 --> 00:13:32,896
See, look at this.
301
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:38,379
"Circle round the a channel God,
take it off."
302
00:13:40,137 --> 00:13:43,586
Uh, she means the stream, take
the stream off.
303
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:46,586
-[beep]
-Circle around the a
304
00:13:46,689 --> 00:13:48,793
is the @ symbol, you genius.
305
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,275
What's an @ symbol?
306
00:13:50,379 --> 00:13:52,103
You know, I would explain it to
you but you've been down
307
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,000
enough rabbit holes for one day.
308
00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:58,482
Curtis, you have fffffffff
309
00:13:58,586 --> 00:14:02,517
fouled this up for me.
310
00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:05,000
I thought you was gonna say
something else.
311
00:14:07,172 --> 00:14:09,724
Yo momma is an internet troll.
312
00:14:10,793 --> 00:14:13,137
Calvin, son!
313
00:14:13,241 --> 00:14:19,103
-What's up, Pops?
-Hey, what's an internet troll?
314
00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:22,172
Don't respond to that,
it's only gonna make it worse.
315
00:14:22,275 --> 00:14:25,275
Um, you told me people like it
when I engage.
316
00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:26,793
Well, not when you're being
dragged.
317
00:14:26,896 --> 00:14:29,793
You can't win against an army of
social media bullies.
318
00:14:29,896 --> 00:14:31,620
Hmm.
319
00:14:31,724 --> 00:14:36,344
You look like if I smell like
hotdog water was a person.
320
00:14:36,448 --> 00:14:38,034
[laughing]
321
00:14:38,137 --> 00:14:39,379
The hell does that mean?
322
00:14:39,482 --> 00:14:41,068
Your barbecue sauce
probably tastes like
323
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,586
the back of your ears.
324
00:14:42,689 --> 00:14:43,758
Pops, don't respond.
325
00:14:43,862 --> 00:14:45,275
[shrieks]
326
00:14:45,379 --> 00:14:49,620
Come say that to my face!
327
00:14:49,724 --> 00:14:51,034
My address is--
328
00:14:51,137 --> 00:14:52,206
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
329
00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:53,965
-Are you crazy?!
-207--
330
00:14:54,068 --> 00:14:55,206
Are you crazy?
331
00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:57,241
Don't put your address
on the internet.
332
00:14:57,344 --> 00:15:00,206
But I'm a grown-ass man,
you heard me?
333
00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:03,344
With, with, with, with a
mortgage and a mustache!
334
00:15:03,448 --> 00:15:06,448
Ain't nobody gonna be talking to
me any kind of way.
335
00:15:06,551 --> 00:15:10,724
I will clap back on they clout!
336
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,517
I will hack their router.
337
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:14,689
Pops, don't...
338
00:15:14,793 --> 00:15:15,862
And hack their router?
339
00:15:15,965 --> 00:15:17,793
Do you even know
what you're saying?
340
00:15:17,896 --> 00:15:19,172
Still obvious?
341
00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:20,965
Look Pops, this is not
like the old days
342
00:15:21,068 --> 00:15:23,517
when people used to handle their
disputes with brass knuckles,
343
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:25,172
bats, and knives.
344
00:15:25,275 --> 00:15:27,137
Bunch of cowards.
345
00:15:27,241 --> 00:15:29,379
You know, everybody has a
microphone nowadays
346
00:15:29,482 --> 00:15:31,724
and they can hide behind their
avatars and handles
347
00:15:31,827 --> 00:15:35,172
and say what they want without
fear of retribution.
348
00:15:35,275 --> 00:15:37,034
That's disgusting.
349
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,103
You know, the more followers
they have,
350
00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:40,758
the bigger their microphone.
351
00:15:40,862 --> 00:15:42,931
They can team up with their
social media bullies
352
00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:45,379
and jump whoever
they hate that day.
353
00:15:45,482 --> 00:15:47,724
[grunts]
354
00:15:47,827 --> 00:15:49,827
Now that's brilliant.
355
00:15:49,931 --> 00:15:53,034
You just said it was disgusting.
356
00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:54,793
How many followers you got?
357
00:15:54,896 --> 00:15:56,862
About 1,200.
358
00:15:56,965 --> 00:15:59,344
But my work account
has about 100,000.
359
00:15:59,448 --> 00:16:01,517
Woo!
360
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,000
Thank you, God.
361
00:16:03,103 --> 00:16:04,413
Give me that account.
362
00:16:04,517 --> 00:16:07,482
Uh, no I would rather OD on your
sauce and slip into
363
00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:08,655
a diabetic coma.
364
00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:10,310
No.
365
00:16:10,413 --> 00:16:12,827
The coma I could help you with
if you don't give me
366
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:13,965
that account.
367
00:16:14,068 --> 00:16:16,482
Pops, no, this is my livelihood.
368
00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:19,310
Which you don't need
if you're dead.
369
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,448
Give me that account.
370
00:16:21,551 --> 00:16:23,103
Do you even know
what you're doing?
371
00:16:23,206 --> 00:16:25,310
Yes, I know what I'm doing.
372
00:16:25,413 --> 00:16:26,896
What's wrong with you?
373
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,827
You ain't been here listening,
you ain't been paying attention?
374
00:16:31,551 --> 00:16:35,862
So mad at Curtis I could spit.
375
00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:39,310
Think.
376
00:16:41,275 --> 00:16:43,379
You know what we could do,
377
00:16:43,482 --> 00:16:45,862
we could get an influencer
to boost it.
378
00:16:45,965 --> 00:16:47,689
What's an influencer?
379
00:16:47,793 --> 00:16:49,724
It's like a celebrity that many
people don't, like,
380
00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:51,206
know about.
381
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:54,137
And how do I get an influencer
this late?
382
00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:57,931
Pay 'em $25,000.
383
00:16:58,034 --> 00:16:59,827
That's it. [chuckles]
384
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:05,689
No more tweets, no more
timelines, no more hustles.
385
00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:10,724
That's what's wrong with us,
we do not want to connect
386
00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:12,482
on a personal level.
387
00:17:12,586 --> 00:17:14,724
Because we don't have to.
388
00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:17,344
Because you don't want to.
389
00:17:17,448 --> 00:17:19,965
But it's what I have to do.
390
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:26,689
Turn that camera on,
I need to talk to some women.
391
00:17:26,793 --> 00:17:32,793
No jokes, no catchphrases,
just me.
392
00:17:32,896 --> 00:17:37,551
And I wanna be real with them
and I gotta speak from my heart.
393
00:17:37,655 --> 00:17:39,172
Okay.
394
00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:43,206
[beep]
395
00:17:43,310 --> 00:17:45,517
Go ahead.
396
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:48,068
Hello!
397
00:17:48,172 --> 00:17:50,965
I'm Ella Payne.
398
00:17:51,068 --> 00:17:53,413
I wanna help some women.
399
00:17:53,517 --> 00:17:56,586
But I need your help.
400
00:17:56,689 --> 00:18:01,862
The help center is the only
place some people have.
401
00:18:03,448 --> 00:18:09,206
And we need 75 new clients to
register today
402
00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:11,103
-so that we can make sure--
-[phone dinging]
403
00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:14,310
-We get our grant--
-[phone dinging]
404
00:18:14,413 --> 00:18:16,344
That was fast.
405
00:18:20,896 --> 00:18:24,000
It's an email,
it's a new registration.
406
00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:27,379
[phone dinging]
407
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:28,586
It's going crazy!
408
00:18:28,689 --> 00:18:30,862
It's all new registrations.
409
00:18:30,965 --> 00:18:34,655
20, 30, 53!
410
00:18:34,758 --> 00:18:35,758
53?!
411
00:18:35,862 --> 00:18:38,241
Thank you,
thank you for doing this!
412
00:18:38,344 --> 00:18:41,517
Oh, God bless you!
413
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,275
Wait, it's not recording.
414
00:18:44,379 --> 00:18:46,344
What do you mean
it's not recording?
415
00:18:46,448 --> 00:18:48,413
Well who am I talking to?
416
00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:50,000
Let me check the timeline.
417
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:53,241
"Sauce Boss is so sweet."
418
00:18:53,344 --> 00:18:55,586
"That's how you love a woman."
419
00:18:55,689 --> 00:18:58,689
"A man who supports his wife
like that is rare."
420
00:18:58,793 --> 00:19:01,862
"I was the victim of domestic
violence and I need help."
421
00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:04,517
"I'm registering now,
hashtag: help me."
422
00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:06,931
What?
423
00:19:07,034 --> 00:19:09,793
The help center timeline is
flooding with testimonies
424
00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:11,965
and confessionals.
425
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:15,206
"If Ella's half as amazing as
the Sauce Boss says--
426
00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:18,103
-Lisa.
-"She can change my life."
427
00:19:18,206 --> 00:19:20,413
Curtis is doing this?
428
00:19:20,517 --> 00:19:23,655
-[phone dinging]
-How?
429
00:19:23,758 --> 00:19:25,517
103?
430
00:19:26,344 --> 00:19:27,586
121!
431
00:19:27,689 --> 00:19:29,103
-You did it!
-We did it?
432
00:19:29,206 --> 00:19:31,862
-We did it!
-121?!
433
00:19:34,724 --> 00:19:38,758
Curtis, baby,
what did you just do?
434
00:19:38,862 --> 00:19:42,241
I got the biggest microphone
I could find
435
00:19:42,344 --> 00:19:46,551
and told the whole world
how wonderful you are.
436
00:19:46,655 --> 00:19:48,551
I told them
you needed their help.
437
00:19:50,137 --> 00:19:52,206
Thank you.
438
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:54,000
Thank you, Curtis.
439
00:19:57,172 --> 00:19:59,344
Thank you, we did it.
440
00:20:05,586 --> 00:20:09,137
and, and, and, he was just,
puberty was smacking him
441
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:11,551
all in his pimple-ridden face.
442
00:20:11,655 --> 00:20:13,551
Pops, don't do that.
443
00:20:13,655 --> 00:20:16,931
Shh, I'm trying to make a funny
video like you said.
444
00:20:17,034 --> 00:20:18,241
Not about me!
445
00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:19,689
And you should have
seen him over there,
446
00:20:19,793 --> 00:20:25,275
he just was squeezing and just
squeezing and squeezing.
447
00:20:25,379 --> 00:20:26,620
That's not true!
448
00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:29,724
I said, "Son, you can't milk
yourself."
449
00:20:31,827 --> 00:20:35,448
And, and, and, our nipples are
useless, he ain't know it.
450
00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:37,137
You know what?
451
00:20:37,241 --> 00:20:39,655
Go ahead and tell your little
story to your eight followers.
452
00:20:39,758 --> 00:20:42,206
No, there's still 100,000.
453
00:20:42,310 --> 00:20:43,551
It's my people!
454
00:20:43,655 --> 00:20:45,000
All my people's in the house.
455
00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:47,448
[laughs] This your work account.
456
00:20:47,551 --> 00:20:49,862
Momma, I'm about to
kill your husband!
457
00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:51,931
That's him right there,
come here!
458
00:20:52,034 --> 00:20:53,103
Come look at it.
459
00:20:53,206 --> 00:20:54,379
What are you doing?
460
00:20:54,482 --> 00:20:55,965
That's my people!
461
00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:57,413
That's him.
462
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:03,034
[music]
463
00:21:28,379 --> 00:21:29,896
[music]
464
00:21:30,862 --> 00:21:32,862
[music]
32551
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