All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S11E17 - Insecurity System WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:07,758 Oh, I can get used to coming home to this. 2 00:00:07,862 --> 00:00:08,758 You like what you see? 3 00:00:08,862 --> 00:00:10,482 I love it. Let me get some. 4 00:00:10,586 --> 00:00:12,344 Give it a try. It's hella fun. 5 00:00:12,448 --> 00:00:14,689 I wasn't talkin' about this, but... 6 00:00:14,793 --> 00:00:15,655 Yeah, sure. I'll play along. 7 00:00:15,758 --> 00:00:16,758 Just give it a try. 8 00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:19,724 Okay. [clears throat] 9 00:00:24,896 --> 00:00:27,827 Okay. 10 00:00:27,931 --> 00:00:29,448 Let's try again. Let's say we keep it up. 11 00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:33,241 It's in the hips. Bring it around town. 12 00:00:33,793 --> 00:00:36,034 No trouble, no trouble. 13 00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:37,689 There you go. 14 00:00:37,793 --> 00:00:38,965 There we go. Ah. 15 00:00:39,068 --> 00:00:39,827 Whoo. 16 00:00:39,931 --> 00:00:40,965 Oh. 17 00:00:41,068 --> 00:00:43,034 You're doing that pretty well. 18 00:00:43,137 --> 00:00:44,655 Is there something you wanna tell me 19 00:00:44,758 --> 00:00:46,758 or would you just rather me stumble across it 20 00:00:46,862 --> 00:00:48,655 on the internet? 21 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,551 Well, there's a lot of things that you could stumble across 22 00:00:50,655 --> 00:00:53,586 on the internet, but, uh, this isn't it. 23 00:00:53,689 --> 00:00:54,965 What's in the box? 24 00:00:55,068 --> 00:00:58,172 Uh, the fire department bought some drones. 25 00:00:58,275 --> 00:00:59,931 What? That's dope. 26 00:01:00,034 --> 00:01:01,758 What do y'all need drones for? 27 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:06,793 Well, it's a safe way for us to scan rooftops 28 00:01:06,896 --> 00:01:08,620 and see if anybody's up there. 29 00:01:08,724 --> 00:01:12,379 And it can, uh, cover more ground to you know, 30 00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:14,931 to detect search operations. 31 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,896 And, and it has an infrared camera. 32 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,758 And the infrared camera can, you know, 33 00:01:18,862 --> 00:01:20,862 detect heat from 40 feet away. 34 00:01:20,965 --> 00:01:21,965 Yeah. 35 00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:23,689 Can I play with it? 36 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:27,000 What about did I just say makes you think this is a toy? 37 00:01:27,103 --> 00:01:28,310 It sounded fun. 38 00:01:28,413 --> 00:01:32,137 Malik, this costs more money 39 00:01:32,241 --> 00:01:34,931 than you have, okay? 40 00:01:35,034 --> 00:01:37,482 And that's not saying much. All right? 41 00:01:37,586 --> 00:01:39,586 [phone chimes] One minute. 42 00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:43,551 Uh, it's Uncle Curtis. 43 00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:46,551 He wants me to come over there and help him with something. 44 00:01:46,655 --> 00:01:48,827 Uh, okay. 45 00:01:48,931 --> 00:01:54,344 Malik, no hula hooping in the house, man, all right? 46 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:58,413 I've gotta put this up and then I'ma head over there. 47 00:01:58,517 --> 00:02:01,310 Y'all can't afford to break nothin' in here, all right? 48 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,793 You can't fix anything. 49 00:02:05,103 --> 00:02:11,206 [music] 50 00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:27,896 [Ella]: Careful. I want it right over here, baby. 51 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,724 Right there. Right there. 52 00:02:29,827 --> 00:02:32,137 Back. Okay. 53 00:02:32,241 --> 00:02:35,551 Well, according to the book, it's supposed to go right here. 54 00:02:38,344 --> 00:02:40,310 Is this good? 55 00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:41,310 What do you think? 56 00:02:41,413 --> 00:02:42,655 Well, I don't like the view. 57 00:02:42,758 --> 00:02:44,310 Not from right there. I don't like that view. 58 00:02:44,413 --> 00:02:46,448 What about right here? Right here, Calvin. 59 00:02:46,551 --> 00:02:47,758 - This way. - [Miranda]: Okay. 60 00:02:47,862 --> 00:02:51,620 Lift with your knees, Calvin. Careful. 61 00:02:51,724 --> 00:02:55,275 Ella, Miranda, can y'all please make a decision? 62 00:02:55,379 --> 00:02:57,000 Okay, you are more confusing than a Black man 63 00:02:57,103 --> 00:02:59,965 with an English accent. 64 00:03:00,068 --> 00:03:01,172 Okay. 65 00:03:01,275 --> 00:03:02,310 Hey, everybody. 66 00:03:02,413 --> 00:03:03,689 How are you? 67 00:03:03,793 --> 00:03:04,793 Uncle Curtis, you need me for something? 68 00:03:04,896 --> 00:03:06,517 Yeah, man. 69 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:09,724 Your aunt Ella and her sidekick are rearranging the furniture. 70 00:03:09,827 --> 00:03:12,965 So if you don't mind, help out Calvin, please. 71 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:18,655 Lately, CJ, I have been feelin' you know, like I couldn't focus 72 00:03:18,758 --> 00:03:21,482 and so I was telling Miranda about it when I was helping out 73 00:03:21,586 --> 00:03:26,000 at the office. And she told me about Feng Shui. 74 00:03:26,103 --> 00:03:28,172 Yes. 75 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,793 You looking at me like I know what that is. 76 00:03:30,896 --> 00:03:34,482 Oh. Feng Shui is the Chinese art of rearranging your furniture 77 00:03:34,586 --> 00:03:36,655 to harmonize with one's energy. 78 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,172 [Ella]: Yeah. 79 00:03:38,275 --> 00:03:41,586 Don't look at me. Happy wife, happy life. 80 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:45,000 So I bought this book, so that I could help Ms. Ella 81 00:03:45,103 --> 00:03:50,310 arrange the room according to what's best for her energy. 82 00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:52,517 I figured it couldn't hurt to try. 83 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:56,965 This house could use a little harmony. 84 00:03:57,068 --> 00:03:58,620 Ella, if you wanted harmony, 85 00:03:58,724 --> 00:04:04,413 you shoulda started an acapella group, not this ridiculousness. 86 00:04:04,517 --> 00:04:06,000 Okay, I have one more thing to check. 87 00:04:06,103 --> 00:04:08,517 I need to go in the kitchen to see if the windows are facing 88 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:11,620 east or west. I'll be right back. 89 00:04:11,724 --> 00:04:14,931 Yes. Okay, so I need this to be... 90 00:04:15,034 --> 00:04:16,379 Excuse me. 91 00:04:16,482 --> 00:04:18,655 How much longer does she have to be here? 92 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:22,000 Calvin, I know it bothers you that she is here, 93 00:04:22,103 --> 00:04:23,551 but she loves us. 94 00:04:23,655 --> 00:04:26,758 And she's having a hard time trying to find her place 95 00:04:26,862 --> 00:04:29,724 in this world since your divorce. 96 00:04:29,827 --> 00:04:32,586 She is the mother of my grandbaby 97 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:37,689 and she deserves my support. 98 00:04:38,689 --> 00:04:41,034 Okay, quick question. Which way is east? 99 00:04:41,137 --> 00:04:42,275 This way. 100 00:04:42,379 --> 00:04:44,000 Oh, perfect. Great. 101 00:04:44,103 --> 00:04:49,068 Thanks for helping my mom with her energy flow. 102 00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:50,965 Hey, have any of guys heard about the break-ins 103 00:04:51,068 --> 00:04:52,172 in the neighborhood? 104 00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:53,448 A house got robbed two nights ago, 105 00:04:53,551 --> 00:04:57,034 and an apartment got hit last night. 106 00:04:57,137 --> 00:04:58,896 Maybe we could just invite him over here to steal 107 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,482 some of our stuff. 108 00:05:00,586 --> 00:05:01,931 Then we could buy all new furniture 109 00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:03,310 with the insurance money. 110 00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:05,034 That is so scary. 111 00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:07,965 People in your house when you're not home 112 00:05:08,068 --> 00:05:09,931 going through your stuff? 113 00:05:10,034 --> 00:05:11,896 I know that's right. 114 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:17,000 Praise God we have not had to deal with that. 115 00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:21,758 But probably because our house was already Feng Shui'd right. 116 00:05:21,862 --> 00:05:27,206 And now you're messing up the Shui by changing it. 117 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:30,000 Ta-ta-ta. Ya think? 118 00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:33,827 How much longer do we have to do this, Lisa? 119 00:05:33,931 --> 00:05:36,758 You mean if you wanna slay in a bikini? 120 00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:41,000 Yes. That is my dream summer body. 121 00:05:41,103 --> 00:05:42,413 Well, keep dreaming 'cause we're gonna be doing this 122 00:05:42,517 --> 00:05:44,275 until summer. 123 00:05:44,379 --> 00:05:47,068 I wish there was a magic pill we could take that would just 124 00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:49,965 snatch our bodies up. 125 00:05:50,068 --> 00:05:52,137 The trick is to get you a man that can adjust 126 00:05:52,241 --> 00:05:53,758 to your body type. 127 00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:56,586 If you fat, get you a chubby chaser. 128 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,586 If you got little breasts, get you a man with little hands. 129 00:05:58,689 --> 00:06:02,206 It's all about perspective. 130 00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:05,724 Hmm. Do you think men go through all of this trouble for us? 131 00:06:05,827 --> 00:06:08,551 Some. But I like me a thick brother. 132 00:06:08,655 --> 00:06:10,517 I can't do no skinny man. 133 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:15,448 It's like spoonin' with a bag of hangers. 134 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:17,000 That's crazy. 135 00:06:17,103 --> 00:06:19,586 Well, speak of the devil. 136 00:06:19,689 --> 00:06:21,379 Malik, what are you doing? 137 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,793 Your dad told us to leave his drone alone. 138 00:06:23,896 --> 00:06:26,310 Since when do I listen to him? 139 00:06:26,413 --> 00:06:28,034 Malik, that is so cool. 140 00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,068 Isn't it? 141 00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:30,517 It even has a monitor and a remote, 142 00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:32,896 so you can see everything while you're flying. 143 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,793 Hey. 144 00:06:34,896 --> 00:06:36,310 Hey, you wanna try it out, babe? 145 00:06:36,413 --> 00:06:38,206 Yes, I've been dying to see something. 146 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:39,724 Cool. 147 00:06:40,896 --> 00:06:42,931 Where you about to fly to? 148 00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:49,379 [Lisa]: I knew it. Y'all all got the same problem. 149 00:06:49,482 --> 00:06:51,000 What? 150 00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:53,758 [Lisa]: You have tons of Frisbees on your roof. 151 00:06:57,655 --> 00:07:00,103 The Fergusons next door is swimming naked, y'all. 152 00:07:00,206 --> 00:07:02,172 What? I wanna see. 153 00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:09,000 Oh, oh, ooh! 154 00:07:11,034 --> 00:07:14,896 Oh, Mr. Ferguson must be an alcoholic 'cause he is 155 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,689 walking around with a six pack. 156 00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:21,793 Let me go get that thing from her before she catch a case. 157 00:07:21,896 --> 00:07:23,413 Oh, I like it when you're assertive, Boo. 158 00:07:23,517 --> 00:07:24,517 Well, go ahead and come over here 159 00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,068 and give me some lips there, baby. 160 00:07:26,172 --> 00:07:27,931 Yeah. I'm gonna need some more of that when I come back inside, 161 00:07:28,034 --> 00:07:30,896 - all right? - [Lisa]: Okay, Zaddy. 162 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,172 [Malik]: Now, that's enough. Give me the remote control. 163 00:07:33,275 --> 00:07:35,344 [Laura]: Wait, hold on. I just want to see one more thing. 164 00:07:35,448 --> 00:07:36,862 [Malik]: What? What? 165 00:07:36,965 --> 00:07:38,655 [Laura]: I just want to see how high it can go. 166 00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:40,172 [Malik]: That's not a good idea. 167 00:07:40,275 --> 00:07:41,896 [Laura]: Why not? 168 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:47,379 [Malik]: Once it's out of range, it falls back down to earth. 169 00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:49,206 Mr. Payne's window. 170 00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:51,862 Mr. Payne's drone. 171 00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:57,034 Ooh. 172 00:07:57,137 --> 00:08:00,344 I think you got, I think you got a problem, Laura. 173 00:08:00,448 --> 00:08:02,275 Me? 174 00:08:02,379 --> 00:08:04,172 I just flew it. 175 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,517 How was I supposed to know you couldn't go high enough 176 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,758 to see if your neighbors are growing weed? 177 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,172 Mr. Payne is gonna kill us. 178 00:08:12,275 --> 00:08:13,344 What are we gonna do? 179 00:08:13,448 --> 00:08:14,965 Um, you know what? 180 00:08:15,068 --> 00:08:17,068 It's a hobby shop not too far from here. 181 00:08:17,172 --> 00:08:19,137 Maybe we can get it fixed before dad shows up tonight. 182 00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:20,827 There's no way. 183 00:08:20,931 --> 00:08:22,310 Do you want to stay here and find out? 184 00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:25,103 Hell no. Let's go. 185 00:08:30,931 --> 00:08:34,620 Man, the Feng Shui I ain't going back over there. 186 00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:36,034 The hell you're not. 187 00:08:36,137 --> 00:08:37,862 You're not letting me go back over there by myself. 188 00:08:37,965 --> 00:08:40,758 That chiffarobe is a two-man job. 189 00:08:40,862 --> 00:08:43,689 You got Uncle Curtis. 190 00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:45,344 Okay, you don't got Uncle Curtis. 191 00:08:45,448 --> 00:08:46,793 Thank you. 192 00:08:46,896 --> 00:08:48,827 I love him, but sometimes he can be lazy as hell. 193 00:08:48,931 --> 00:08:51,758 I once saw him eat a basket of fries without using his hands. 194 00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:53,793 He just placed it on his shoulder 195 00:08:53,896 --> 00:08:57,758 and turned his head like... 196 00:08:57,862 --> 00:08:59,379 Hey man, you got something to drink? 197 00:08:59,482 --> 00:09:00,793 Yeah, check the fridge. 198 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,275 Whoa. You, you do know your back window is busted out? 199 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,275 What? 200 00:09:08,379 --> 00:09:09,620 Is there anything missing? 201 00:09:09,724 --> 00:09:11,172 I don't know. Look around. 202 00:09:17,275 --> 00:09:18,827 I can't believe it's gonna take three days 203 00:09:18,931 --> 00:09:20,724 to repair my dad's drone. 204 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,586 We are so dead. 205 00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:23,793 What do we say? 206 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,896 I don't know. 207 00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:35,896 CJ, your back door was unlocked. 208 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:36,689 Hey. 209 00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:37,689 Hey, babe. 210 00:09:37,793 --> 00:09:39,482 Hey, baby. 211 00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:40,689 The drone is missing. 212 00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:42,551 Say what? 213 00:09:42,655 --> 00:09:44,034 We got, got. 214 00:09:44,137 --> 00:09:46,827 Somebody broke in and took my drone. 215 00:09:46,931 --> 00:09:49,827 - What? - What? 216 00:09:50,379 --> 00:09:51,413 Wow. 217 00:09:57,689 --> 00:09:59,172 Yeah, my boy hooked you up. 218 00:09:59,275 --> 00:10:02,241 This security system costs twice as much what he charged you. 219 00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:05,793 So this system, that's gonna alert me every time 220 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,931 that somebody comes into the house? 221 00:10:08,034 --> 00:10:11,931 It has microphones, cameras, motion detectors. 222 00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,448 Like, I can see and hear everything that a burglar does? 223 00:10:14,551 --> 00:10:16,896 Yep. I tried to get my parents to get this security system, 224 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,827 but my pops refuses. 225 00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:21,172 Uncle Curtis being cheap, huh? 226 00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:22,517 Of course. 227 00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,206 Every time I bring it up, he's like, pay for protection? 228 00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:26,310 Why would I do that? 229 00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:28,344 I got a pistol and two hands that are real. 230 00:10:30,206 --> 00:10:31,965 That's it. 231 00:10:36,275 --> 00:10:38,724 What's all this? 232 00:10:38,827 --> 00:10:41,172 Oh, I'm installing a security system, you know. 233 00:10:41,275 --> 00:10:42,793 Ever since that burglar broke in, 234 00:10:42,896 --> 00:10:45,344 I don't wanna take any more chances. 235 00:10:45,448 --> 00:10:47,620 Uh, Dad? Uh... 236 00:10:47,724 --> 00:10:51,034 I'm just glad that the insurance company is, uh, going to cover 237 00:10:51,137 --> 00:10:53,103 everything and that we came home and scared them off 238 00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:55,413 before they took anything else. 239 00:10:55,517 --> 00:10:58,000 Wait. What does that mean? 240 00:10:58,103 --> 00:11:01,034 They only took the drone, so my guess is that they 241 00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:04,103 broke in through that window and they grabbed that first. 242 00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:08,758 Yeah, they woulda took more, but me and CJ came home 243 00:11:08,862 --> 00:11:10,655 and they went through the back door. 244 00:11:10,758 --> 00:11:12,896 That's probably why it's unlocked. 245 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,413 Mr. Payne, we have something to tell you. 246 00:11:15,517 --> 00:11:17,827 That scenario that you just described is-- 247 00:11:17,931 --> 00:11:20,586 Sounds completely feasible. 248 00:11:20,689 --> 00:11:21,862 Huh? 249 00:11:21,965 --> 00:11:23,965 Yeah. I mean, what other explanation 250 00:11:24,068 --> 00:11:26,689 could there be, right? 251 00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:28,827 Yeah, that makes sense. 252 00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:31,517 Well, it's all done. The house is secure. 253 00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:32,965 Everything is good. 254 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:35,655 Miranda changed her mind again. 255 00:11:35,758 --> 00:11:36,965 She wants us to go back over there and 256 00:11:37,068 --> 00:11:38,827 rearrange the furniture again. 257 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:40,448 You know, it's weird. 258 00:11:40,551 --> 00:11:43,448 We're divorced, but she still thinks she can order me around. 259 00:11:43,551 --> 00:11:47,862 Yeah, that's crazy weird. Man. Good luck with that. 260 00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:50,310 Uh-uh. You're coming with me. 261 00:11:50,413 --> 00:11:52,000 I helped you install that alarm system. 262 00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:53,724 You can help me out. 263 00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:57,000 I thought you were doing this out of pure Christian goodness. 264 00:11:57,103 --> 00:11:59,482 Well, God also hates laziness. 265 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:03,241 It would be unChristian of me to let you stay here. 266 00:12:03,344 --> 00:12:05,103 What book in the Bible is that in? 267 00:12:05,206 --> 00:12:08,517 The book of bring your ass. Well, come on. 268 00:12:17,413 --> 00:12:18,517 Ella. 269 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,000 What? 270 00:12:20,103 --> 00:12:22,793 This room does not make even a bit of damn sense. 271 00:12:22,896 --> 00:12:27,344 Curtis! The book says that this configuration 272 00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:32,482 optimizes the flow of positive energy. 273 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:35,344 What does that even mean? 274 00:12:35,448 --> 00:12:36,724 I don't know. 275 00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:40,586 It just means that you move it to make the energy flow 276 00:12:40,689 --> 00:12:43,965 the best you can. 277 00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:46,379 Are you just defining optimizing instead of 278 00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:49,551 answering the question? 279 00:12:49,655 --> 00:12:51,689 Okay, look. I just saw this book on Oprah's favorite things 280 00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:54,172 and I thought it would be fun for me and Ms. Ella to do it. 281 00:12:56,517 --> 00:12:58,344 Look at this furniture. 282 00:12:58,448 --> 00:13:03,827 It looks like we put it in a cup and rolled it out like dice. 283 00:13:03,931 --> 00:13:05,862 I hate the way this looks. 284 00:13:05,965 --> 00:13:09,758 Agreed. So can they please put everything back the way it was? 285 00:13:09,862 --> 00:13:12,344 Do you mind, guys? 286 00:13:12,448 --> 00:13:15,862 If it means no more lifting and rearranging, we got you. 287 00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:18,241 That's what it means. 288 00:13:18,344 --> 00:13:19,448 CJ. 289 00:13:19,551 --> 00:13:23,310 Did you hear any updates on that break-in? 290 00:13:23,413 --> 00:13:24,551 Not yet. 291 00:13:24,655 --> 00:13:26,862 But he did put in that security system I've been 292 00:13:26,965 --> 00:13:28,172 trying to get you to buy. 293 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,862 Yeah, it's really nice, Unc. 294 00:13:29,965 --> 00:13:31,137 You need to try that out. 295 00:13:31,241 --> 00:13:35,000 Try it out for what? I got a pistol. 296 00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:38,172 And these hands are everything. 297 00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:42,655 Yeah. I know your hands are nice, Unc, but uh, 298 00:13:42,758 --> 00:13:45,448 what if you're not here to put hands on somebody? 299 00:13:45,551 --> 00:13:48,379 You don't want them taking your stuff. 300 00:13:48,482 --> 00:13:50,793 I mean, what can you do anyway if you're not there? 301 00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:52,103 Oh, there's a lot. 302 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,896 The system can automatically call the police. 303 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,482 You can see everything going on in the house 304 00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:57,758 and you can even watch them make the arrest in real time 305 00:13:57,862 --> 00:13:58,827 if you wanted to. 306 00:13:58,931 --> 00:13:59,758 Show 'em, CJ. 307 00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:01,620 Yeah. 308 00:14:02,689 --> 00:14:07,310 It comes with, uh, audio-visual capabilities, 309 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,000 that everything that's going on in the house, 310 00:14:10,103 --> 00:14:13,620 you can hear and see everything going on. 311 00:14:13,724 --> 00:14:14,827 Can you see? 312 00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:17,379 Well, I'll be. Look at that. 313 00:14:17,931 --> 00:14:21,000 It just doesn't feel right to keep lying to your dad. 314 00:14:21,103 --> 00:14:22,448 I mean, I tried to call some more places, 315 00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:25,586 but no one can repair Mr. Payne's drone in time. 316 00:14:25,689 --> 00:14:27,172 Repair my drone? 317 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:28,793 What are they talking about? 318 00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:30,000 [Malik]: Not that it matters, 319 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,275 but my dad already reported it stolen. 320 00:14:32,379 --> 00:14:34,103 But he's going to find out. 321 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,482 No, you're looking at this all wrong. 322 00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:40,068 Okay? Now that the drone is stolen, 323 00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:41,758 the insurance company will pay for it. 324 00:14:41,862 --> 00:14:43,310 It's a win-win. 325 00:14:43,413 --> 00:14:46,034 Now my dad won't know that we broke his window 326 00:14:46,137 --> 00:14:48,241 flying his drone. 327 00:14:48,344 --> 00:14:50,172 Okay. 328 00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:52,241 Don't worry about it. 329 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,344 Those little... 330 00:14:55,448 --> 00:14:58,448 They played with that drone after I specifically told them 331 00:14:58,551 --> 00:15:04,482 not to and then made me believe that the house got broken into. 332 00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:05,655 That's messed up. 333 00:15:05,758 --> 00:15:07,965 I can't believe they would do such a thing. 334 00:15:08,068 --> 00:15:11,241 I'm so disappointed in them. 335 00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,689 I blame their parents. 336 00:15:17,241 --> 00:15:19,689 What's going on? But there's lighting. 337 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,482 Why is it so dark in here? 338 00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:24,586 [gasps] 339 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,551 What you doin'? 340 00:15:30,517 --> 00:15:32,206 Have a seat, Son. 341 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:34,862 What you doin' all creepin' around in the dark? 342 00:15:34,965 --> 00:15:36,620 You scared the crap outta me. 343 00:15:37,206 --> 00:15:39,379 I said, sit! 344 00:15:40,517 --> 00:15:45,689 Everything all right, Dad? You're kinda scarin' me. 345 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,586 Why are you scared? 346 00:15:49,689 --> 00:15:53,344 I mean, if you're being a good, honest son, 347 00:15:53,448 --> 00:15:55,862 there's no reason for you to be scared. 348 00:15:55,965 --> 00:15:57,517 I mean... 349 00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:00,206 It is kinda dark down here and you're just sittin' down 350 00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:01,379 here with all these crazy-- 351 00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:05,000 Enough with the frivolous banter! 352 00:16:05,103 --> 00:16:10,310 Where were you when this scurrulous break-in 353 00:16:10,413 --> 00:16:14,413 and the violation of the sanctity of my home occured? 354 00:16:15,103 --> 00:16:18,103 Um... Um... 355 00:16:19,862 --> 00:16:21,275 Spit it out! 356 00:16:21,379 --> 00:16:22,931 Um, Dad, you're using a lot of big words 357 00:16:23,034 --> 00:16:24,551 and you're making me nervous. 358 00:16:25,896 --> 00:16:27,275 Where were all of you? 359 00:16:27,379 --> 00:16:30,482 We were cleaning. 360 00:16:30,586 --> 00:16:31,379 Cleaning? 361 00:16:31,482 --> 00:16:32,482 Uh-huh. 362 00:16:32,586 --> 00:16:34,379 You're gonna stick with that? 363 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:39,448 Why are the lights off? 364 00:16:40,551 --> 00:16:41,344 Lisa. 365 00:16:41,448 --> 00:16:42,827 - Hey, Lisa, baby-- - Hey! 366 00:16:44,241 --> 00:16:45,517 Don't talk to her. 367 00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:50,206 In fact, go to Uncle Curtis's house. 368 00:16:52,689 --> 00:16:54,241 Have a seat. 369 00:16:58,827 --> 00:17:00,689 Everything okay, Mr. P? 370 00:17:00,793 --> 00:17:03,206 Lisa... 371 00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:06,827 Where were all of you 372 00:17:06,931 --> 00:17:11,827 when my house was being burgularized by common thieves? 373 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,241 We were watching TV. 374 00:17:13,344 --> 00:17:15,793 Watching TV. 375 00:17:15,896 --> 00:17:20,034 Hmm. And uh, 376 00:17:20,137 --> 00:17:22,000 what is it that you were watching? 377 00:17:22,103 --> 00:17:25,137 Well, we were uh, I don't know. 378 00:17:25,241 --> 00:17:26,103 I can't remember. 379 00:17:26,206 --> 00:17:29,172 Oh, you can't remember. 380 00:17:31,413 --> 00:17:33,482 How convenient. 381 00:17:34,103 --> 00:17:37,034 Hello, Laura. 382 00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:40,241 Hello, CJ. 383 00:17:40,931 --> 00:17:43,724 Nice to see you. 384 00:17:43,827 --> 00:17:46,413 What is it that all of you were doing 385 00:17:46,517 --> 00:17:50,413 when the unfortunate crime occurred? 386 00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:54,206 Um, we were reading the Bible. 387 00:17:54,310 --> 00:17:57,620 Bible study! 388 00:17:57,724 --> 00:18:00,275 [whistles] 389 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:02,310 That's a good one. 390 00:18:03,137 --> 00:18:04,793 But it's a stretch, 391 00:18:04,896 --> 00:18:08,448 because Malik has never been one to read the Bible. 392 00:18:10,551 --> 00:18:11,724 I got three diffrent stories. 393 00:18:11,827 --> 00:18:14,724 Cleaning, watching TV, Bible study. 394 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,965 Somebody's lying. 395 00:18:17,068 --> 00:18:18,965 I think all three of you are lying. 396 00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,724 You want to get something off your chest? 397 00:18:22,827 --> 00:18:24,965 No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm good. 398 00:18:25,068 --> 00:18:28,620 No, no, no, no, no, no. You're not good because... 399 00:18:29,862 --> 00:18:32,379 I know that you were playing with my drone 400 00:18:32,482 --> 00:18:35,034 and that's how my window got broken. 401 00:18:35,137 --> 00:18:37,689 Damn. Are you psychic? 402 00:18:37,793 --> 00:18:39,793 You know my grandma got the shine. 403 00:18:39,896 --> 00:18:43,241 I don't need the shine. I got this! 404 00:18:45,068 --> 00:18:47,448 [Malik]: And now my dad won't know that we broke his window 405 00:18:47,551 --> 00:18:49,310 flying his drone. 406 00:18:51,068 --> 00:18:52,586 Um, uh, Dad? 407 00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:54,586 Dad, nothing! 408 00:18:54,689 --> 00:18:58,206 You used municipal property when I told you not to 409 00:18:58,310 --> 00:19:01,103 specifically you played with it 410 00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:02,862 and then you lied to me about it. 411 00:19:02,965 --> 00:19:04,620 Well, see, technically we didn't lie about it. 412 00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:07,862 You assumed and we just let you keep assuming. 413 00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:11,275 Which was wrong. It was. 414 00:19:11,379 --> 00:19:13,275 And uh, we shouldn't have done that. 415 00:19:13,379 --> 00:19:16,172 And we're sorry, CJ. 416 00:19:16,275 --> 00:19:18,344 We're even paying to get it fixed. 417 00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:20,689 You're paying to fix something that you broke? 418 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,965 Oh, should I be saying thank you? 419 00:19:23,068 --> 00:19:25,275 I should be saying thank you. 420 00:19:25,379 --> 00:19:27,379 I let you stay in my house 421 00:19:27,482 --> 00:19:28,689 for free, rent free. 422 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:29,862 Eat up my food, 423 00:19:29,965 --> 00:19:31,827 baby waking me up at night 424 00:19:31,931 --> 00:19:34,103 when I gotta go to work. 425 00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:35,793 And this is the thanks I get? 426 00:19:35,896 --> 00:19:37,206 CJ, listen. 427 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,862 I don't have to listen to this bull. 428 00:19:38,965 --> 00:19:42,482 No more talking, please. 429 00:19:42,586 --> 00:19:44,620 I thought more of you guys. 430 00:19:44,724 --> 00:19:48,379 I thought you were better than this. 431 00:19:54,551 --> 00:19:57,896 I tried to tell you. You can't fly it that high. 432 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,482 - How was I supposed to know? - Because I was telling you. 433 00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:01,965 I was tellin' you not to touch the drone. 434 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,034 We ain't gonna put this one on me 'cause when I was flying it 435 00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:06,034 by myself without y'all two, everything was fine. 436 00:20:06,137 --> 00:20:07,827 I ain't crash it. 437 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,482 Hey, Dad. We got your drone back. 438 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,793 They said it's as good as new. 439 00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:18,344 We also called the insurance company and cancelled the claim. 440 00:20:19,793 --> 00:20:22,517 We told them what happened. 441 00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:25,379 We even went down to the fire department and apologized. 442 00:20:25,482 --> 00:20:27,655 It's the least we could do. 443 00:20:27,758 --> 00:20:29,310 Thank you. 444 00:20:29,413 --> 00:20:32,517 Maybe you're not as selfish as I thought. 445 00:20:35,758 --> 00:20:37,620 Now, 446 00:20:37,724 --> 00:20:39,827 anybody want to have fun? 447 00:20:39,931 --> 00:20:43,068 Wait. What about not playing with city property? 448 00:20:43,172 --> 00:20:44,827 We're not playing. 449 00:20:44,931 --> 00:20:48,275 Anybody asks you, you guys are all volunteer fire fighters. 450 00:20:48,379 --> 00:20:49,827 Okay. 451 00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:51,068 Let's go. 452 00:20:51,172 --> 00:20:52,482 Okay. 453 00:20:57,103 --> 00:21:00,793 [music] 454 00:21:27,241 --> 00:21:28,517 [music] 455 00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:31,172 [music] 32645

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.