All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S11E16 - Of Mice and Men WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

Oh.
Look at my little pretty.

Ah, it took me forever to
perfect this souffle recipe.

[chuckles]

Okay, just have to carefully,
oh, carefully

place it on the counter.
Wait a minute.

There you go.

Ah! Curtis!
[screams]

Curtis, please! Curtis!

What is it?
What's goin' on?

Curtis, there's a mouse.
Get it.

A mouse?

You heard me.
It's a mouse, baby. Get it.

Okay, but where is it?

I don't know, Curtis.
I don't know.

-It ran over there.
-It ran over where?

I don't know, baby.

You know what,
it must've came in

through the hole I made
when I was fixin' the plumbing.

Curtis, I thought you
patched that up.

Well, I did.

I mean, after I got chips
back from Malik.

And you know that boy is fast.

Then I had to take a nap 'cause
all that runnin' wore me out.

I don't care about your chips
or your naps.

I care that there is
a mouse in here.

Baby, just, will you relax?
I'll take care of it, okay?

What do you mean relax?
This don't make no--

[screams] Curtis!
Okay, baby. No!

You haven't grabbed me like
this since last week.

Oh, Curtis, please.
Okay, stop, baby. Stop, stop.

What? What?

How can you be so calm?

Baby, because it's just a--
You don't need to be scared.

It's a little, itty, bitty
mouse.

It can't hurt you, Ella.

[screams]

Oh no, uh-uh.

What are you screaming
for, Curtis?

It's just an itty-bitty
little mouse, baby.

It can't hurt you.

I ain't scared.
I ain't never scared.

Uh-huh.

Okay? It just caught me off
guard and it ran across my foot.

Eew, Curtis. Oh, my God.
Curtis, throw your shoe outside.

I'll sanitize it later.
Throw it out there. It's nasty.

Calm down.
It's just a mouse, Ella.

Do you know how unsanitary a
mouse is? It's a rodent.

It carries diseases.

Okay, baby.
I'll take care of it.

Soon, Curtis. Okay,
I can't stay in this house.

So you mean to tell me that a
little, itty bitty mouse

could be the reason
I get the house to myself?

Don't play with me.

Here, mousey, mousey.
Here, mouse.

[sighs] Ooh, brownies.

Maniac.

That man couldn't catch a ball
if he had Gorilla Glue

smeared on his hands.

Thank you, baby.

Hey, everybody,
I got great news.

You're gonna stop
eating my food?

Never.

Your boy got a job.

Really?

Don't act so surprised, Dad.

You've been on me about
this every day.

Yes.

Well, it's about damn time.

Well, I'm proud of you, baby.

So uh, where are you
gonna be working?

Took the words right out
of my mouth.

Uh, Dad, you just told me
to get a job.

Actually, you said,
I don't care what your ass do.

That sounds like
something you'd say.

Yep, word for word.

Well, depends on what the job
is, whatcha gonna be doing,

whether I really meant it
or not.

I'm an associate
at Liberty Today.

A special interest organization
helpin' achieve

progressive benefits
in the South.

An illegal business.
Get out now.

How do you know?

The longer the job description,
the more corrupt the business.

That's not true.

No, it is. We're firemen.
One word, legit business.

One word. Poledancer.
Respected profession. One word.

Curtis, no, no.
Don't do that.

Look, this is a legit
business, all right?

My first client is Dr. Budz.

Ah, you're working
for doctors now?

Uh, well, they're not
technically a doctor's office.

Uh, they're a
medical dispensary.

Medical weed dispensary?

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, oh, Cuzzo. It's on.

Let me put my order in,
so I can...

Give it to glaucoma patients.

Malik...
You slingin' weed?

I knew it.
Long job description.

Look, Dr. Budz is a LA-based
medical dispensary

providing medical marijuana
to people.

I don't work for them.

My company advocates
for special interests

and one of our initiatives is
the legalization of marijuana.

It sounds like a high-priced
pusher to me.

Come on. Y'all are really
overthinking this, okay?

It's not that serious.

Marijuana has helped
with cancer patients,

people that suffer from anxiety.

Yeah, and when it's regulated
it helps boost the economy

and it stops being the
excuse for police

locking up black folks.

So I've heard.
I be reading.

Okay. So what are the bad sides?

It's a gateway drug.

Next thing you know,
you'll be hooked on "hairon".

Look, I work with a special
interest group, okay?

The only thing that we're
pushing is for the legalization

of marijuana in Georgia.

Oh, the South will rise
high again.

So you think I'm just gonna
approve of you

being a drug dealer?

Dad, I'm not a drug dealer.

I don't like it, Son.

And when I said get a job,
I meant a respectable one.

Dad, this is a respectable job.

I'm helping to push
progressive issues.

This is how a family
on "hairon" acts.

And we ain't even on "hairon."

We on chips.

You get gummies.
You get brownies.

Got that pesky glaucoma issue?

You get THC cookies.

Is that what you're doing
for your new job?

Just givin' away weed?

No, I'm sending them
to Georgia lawmakers.

Hopefully, we can push them
a little bit more to the middle

by allowing them to sample some
without them smelling like

a Jamaican dancehall.

But you know,
I actually am happy

that I'm helping out people
with chronic issues.

Well, it seems like
you're good at this.

Well, thanks, man.
I'm really enjoying it.

Hmm.

What's up?

That's weird.

What?

I just got a request
from someone asking

for gummy samples.

Oh, that's dope.

I mean, not dope, dope,
but the other dope.

Yeah, but how do they know
I have samples?

I mean, this is a private
and controlled thing.

Well, where do they want you
to send it to?

Zip code 30310. Wait...

That's, that's
this neighborhood.

Well, is there a name
and a number?

Calvin, if I knew that, we
wouldn't be going through this.

Well, I'm just saying, I could
go over there, introduce myself,

start a conversation,
a little verbal elation.

If my job finds out that people
are asking for gummy samples,

they're gonna think
I'm a dope boy.

Aren't you?

No. I mean, I'm a dope boy,
I mean, [chuckles]

but I'm not a dope boy.

Well, okay.

Well, who all knows
you're doing this?

You think it's me?

Man, if I wanted to take your
weed samples,

I'd just be like Omar
and take your stash.

Okay, well, who could
it be then?

Because I mean, they could mess
up the whole campaign

and get me fired.

So if we exterminated the house,

how many days would we
have to be out of it?

I'll hold, I'll hold.

Hey, Auntie.
What's up with booties?

We have a mouse.

And because Curtis is
draggin' his feet

about getting rid of it,

I'm on hold
with the exterminators.

-Hang up the phone.
-Curtis.

-Hang up the phone.
-Stop.

-I'm not hanging up.
-Didn't I say hang up the phone?

-Curtis.
-Give it here. Give it here.

Baby.

We are not paying
no exterminator.

I told you,
I'ma catch the mouse myself.

Okay? Please, I got this, baby.

Curtis, I don't see you
doing anything.

Ella, just 'cause you don't
see me doing something,

don't mean I'm not
doing anything.

Then what are you doing?

You know, I don't even want
to say nothin'.

Curtis.

I'm working my plan, Ella.
Huh?

So why don't you just get a trap
with some cheese?

So why don't you get a trap
with some cheese?

Really? Is it that simple?

Yeah, it's that simple.

Boy, you don't know nothin'
about the psychology of a mouse.

The psychology?

Yeah, yes. You see, mice,

mice know about the cheese
and the trap.

Please, that's a thousand years.
That's a thousand years, okay?

You've got to do something way
more intelligent

if you wanna catch them.

Well, I'm going over
to CJ's house

while you and your intelligence

gets rid of the mouse.

Bye.

Bye to you.

Come here.
I want you to see something.

Huh, huh. That's the plans
for the Curtis contraption.

High-tech mouse incarceration.
You heard me.

Unc, that look like it gonna
take two weeks to build.

Yeah, well, for an amateur
like you, it would.

It would probably take four
weeks for an amateur like you,

but I'm halfway done with it.

You heard me?

Come on. Come on.
I'll show you. Come on.

[Curtis] You ready?

Mm-hmm, what you got there?

You ready?
I gotta surprise...

I gotta surprise you.
Boom!

Look who stepped in the room.

Huh.

Blue, blue, blue lights, lights.
If you can imagine that?

That sparks them up,
get them excited.

Talkin' about cheese and traps.

All I gotta do, get my fuses
connected right.

Then I get the gasoline.
And I'ma pour that in.

And then I gotta, uh,
get a detonator.

I'll get the gasoline.

Gasoline?

Hold on. Let me get the gas.

Aunt Ella!

[knock on door]
Hootie Hoo, Hootie Hoo.

-Hey.
-Hey, guys.

Okay. Do you all mind if I spend
a little time over here with you

all while Curtis becomes one
with the rat?

Of course, Ma.
Sit down.

Hey, uh, have you noticed
any strange activity

going on in this neighborhood?

I have. Now that you mention it.

Wait. Is it the Karen down
on the corner?

It's always the
innocent soccer moms.

You know, I'll bet it's that new
family at the entrance.

They got three teenage boys,
and they all skateboard.

Now you know what that means.

That they arrive at places
faster than people walking?

Okay. Why are you stereotyping
my neighbors?

Well, there's a lot of
suspicious activity going on

in this zip code.

No, it's not.

Somebody sent me a request
for some samples in this area.

And if his job finds out that
people know that he has samples,

then...

So your dad was right.

You never should've gotten
mixed up with this mess.

Come on, Malik. You know what
our family went through.

My dad isn't right, okay?
I'm not selling drugs.

No, he's right.
He's giving them away.

Not helping.

That's worse.

Malik... Are you bringing drugs
into this community?

You may as well be working
for the CIA.

No. I'm trying to bring
progressiveness to the South.

And so did Alexander Hamilton,

but he wasn't slinging no dope.

Well, is there anybody new
to this neighborhood?

You know what? We could ask
the HOA president.

Yeah.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
Don't ask her.

She'll have drug dogs at
everybody's house,

if she finds out anybody from
my family is a pusher.

I'm not a pusher.

I'm an associate
at Liberty Today,

a special interest organization

helping bring progressive
benefits to the South.

Stop saying that to me.

The more I hear
that long job description,

the more suspect it sounds.

Yeah, it does sound scammish.

What's your job title?

Social media strategist
for inclusion and diversity

in urban marginalized markets
and communities.

His job title's
longer than mine.

Yeah, but it doesn't sound
like a drug mule.

Well, I am an associate...

You know what? You got it.
You got it.

[Ella]: Don't say it.

I am going to find out
who did this.

I'm gonna keep my job,
and I'm gonna get all y'all off

my back about this situation.

Do you know what?

Bruh, why are you being so
aggressive with my mom?

You not acting like
yourself lately.

Are you using your supply?

Auntie Ella, no.

"We need to talk about
your new enterprise.

These are my corners."

Wait a minute.
How'd this person get my number?

Probably from the wire,
Stringer Bell.

Curtis.
Hey, baby.

I, uh, Curtis.

Oh, Curtis Payne.

Curtis Payne!

Hey, baby.

What have you done to my house?

Now, Ella,
before you say anything,

I know it looks kinda bad.

Kinda bad. Curtis, it looks like
you dropped a bomb in here.

No, baby, like I said.
Okay? It's not the best,

but I'm pretty sure I got him.

You mean to tell me after
all of this, you don't know

if you got the mouse or not?

Baby, I'm, like, 99% sure
I got him.

Curtis!

I didn't get him.

Curtis, there it is--
you know what?

Ooh, Curtis,

I swear for cookies
and ice cream,

if you don't get that mouse out
of here and put my house back

right, I'm gonna burn
this house down.

I'ma burn it down myself
with you and that mouse in it.

Ella, that's so violent.

Curtis, get that mouse out of
here. I'm not playing with you.

I'll fight you.
I'll fight you, Curtis.

Curtis, get my house back right.
What is going on?

Hey, babe.
What's going on?

You um, haven't given my number
out to anybody have you?

I did.

Why would you do that?

Because you need to expand
your social circle.

Your contact list consists of
me, your mommy, your daddy

and your evil little sister.

Okay, look, uh,
who did you give it to?

The HOA president.

You snitched on me
to the president of the HOA?

No. She asked what you'd been up
to and I told her you were

pushing pot for politicians.

Why would you say that?

It was funny. She laughed.

[knocking on door]

Malik Payne, I can smell you
from the front porch.

That's my bad. I bought him
some gas station cologne.

Hello, Ms. Higgenbottom.

Call me Glo 'cause I'm
always shining.

Okay.

But anyway, I heard you're out
here on these streets

with Mary Jane.

With who?

She's talking about weed, Malik.

Oh. Oh.

How are you going to help
Liberty Today

if you don't
even know the lingo?

Wait a minute.

How do you know
about the company?

Well, I've been a supporter
for years.

Well, ever since the hemp
has been helping my peepers.

Baby, what did she say?

The weed helps
with her glaucoma.

Oh, okay.

And as soon as these cowboy boot
wearing lawmakers realize that

legalizing the sticky icky can
make this state more money

than cotton ever did.

You sound very well-versed
on this issue.

Well, uh, legalizing
that stank is

my little corner of the world.

Wait. That was you that sent
the text about the corners.

That you never responded to.

Look, I can help you go
from being an associate

to being the man.

I know all the players.

You got politicians
in your pocket?

In my pocket, in my purse,
in my bra.

Okay. Okay. We get it.

Look, I'll take all the help
that I can get.

And I'll take all the
gummy samples you got.

Here's my medical marijuana
card and everything.

Babe, you see?

Now they gotta apologize to me
because I'm legit.

A grown woman just reached
into her bosom

so you can give her
a weed sample.

Maybe we can contain our
excitement about your

marijuana cum laude degree
right now.

Wow.
Aunt Ella wasn't exaggerating.

Unc, you know you in here
looking like the

black Elmer Fudd?

That's all right because
I'm going mouse hunting.

Hey, that mouse got the best of
me so far, but not no more.

You don't think you've broken
enough stuff around here?

Not until I break his wheel.

I gotta break that mouse's
wheel.

He's a strong one, CJ, so I'm
done with the contraptions.

Now it's me against him.
Mano e-Mouse O.

So your plan is to shoot him?

It's just a BB gun.

It won't kill him, but it will
stun the hell out of him.

There you go. There you go.
Work that. Work that.

A little down under. You just go
past that. There you go.

You got skills. You got skills.

Well, I gotta drop this off
in the kitchen for Aunt Ella.

She asked me to pick
this up for her.

Okay.

I got my pellets.
See, I got some pellets.

That'll probably knock him out.

And then I can just scoop him up
and go release him in the woods.

And then he wake up
all disheveled.

And he'll realize that
I got the best of him.

And I'm the better man.

You know, I still think
that the trap with the cheese

would've worked, but I mean,
if you feel like

this is the better way.

I know it is, CJ. I know it is.

This is a smart mouse, man.

This is a smart one.

And so you gotta hit him
with a smart plan.

He ain't gonna fall
for just anything.

What the hell is that?
What's that?

Oh, I think that's the
humane mouse trap

I just put in the kitchen.

Oh, well, then you got Ella in
there 'cause it ain't my mouse.

My mouse is too savvy for that.

What the hell is that?

Got him.

You ain't got him in there.
You ain't got my mouse.

My mouse's too slick
for that, man.

Well, me and Mickey
are on our way

to the Humane Society.

To the Humane Society?

What, then what the hell did
I do all this for?

Y'all should have seen
this place.

-It looked like a war zone.
-It was a war zone.

Your uncle against Mickey Mouse.

And he still lost.

Yeah, well, I didn't see any
of you over here trying to help.

Oh, I don't do rodents.

Yeah, tell that to all the
hood rats you dated.

I'm just glad you were able to
get my house back to normal.

Baby, I told you I would.
Just don't touch that lamp

over there for about 12 hours.

I need the glue to set
just right.

That's my favorite--

Wait, what was that?

I knew it.

-[Ella] What was that?
-He's back.

No, no.

It sounded like the air
conditioner just went out.

What?

Well, I guess, I just happen to
have my tools with me.

You know what? No, no. Stop him!

[music]

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