Original subtitles

- Come on Lisa. You're tripping.

I didn't do anything. I swear.

- Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh.

- I saw you with my own two eyes kissing her.

- Malik, you are not out in these streets doing dirt,

are you?

That's not you.

- He did it.

- In her dream.

How can you get mad at me about something that's happening

in your dream? Make it make sense.

- You're not gonna try to make me sound crazy.

- Okay, wait, he cheated in your dream?

- Mmhmm.

And what is done in the dark will come to light.

I got the great gift of sight from my great grandmother.

- Oh, is this the same great grandmother

who got ran over by a ice cream truck?

She can see me cheating, but she can't see oncoming traffic?

- I told you once before it's the ice cream truck music.

- Oh.

- [sighs]

- What's up Dad, you good?

- I made the mistake of playing the twins in basketball.

One of them kept fouling me and every time I missed a shot,

the other one kept calling me Lebron Lame.

- [laughs] I taught him that.

- Oh, that was you? - Yeah.

- Hey, this college catalog came for you in the mail.

- Ugh! - What's wrong?

I thought you'd be excited to start community college.

- I'm good.

- If that's your I'm good face

I'd hate to see your woe is me face.

- What's the big deal?

I mean, all you do is see what you want to study

and pick those classes.

- Yeah, well, it's not that easy.

- Yeah, I know college can be overwhelming,

but you just have to look at it like a buffet.

- Oh, this is about to make no sense.

- Hey, listen, you just eat little bits at a time

and then when your plate is full you just take a break.

- You know what? Actually that does make sense.

- But listen, you gotta get out before you have to pay

because student loans, ooh girl, will have you bloated.

- That took a turn for the worse.

- Babe, it's actually fun to pick new classes

and thinking about all the new things

that you're gonna learn.

- How am I supposed to know what to do?

What if I choose the wrong thing

and lose two years of my life and my money?

- Getting an education is never a waste of time

- And you know what they say, if you do something you love,

you'll never work a day in your life.

So try to figure out what you like to do.

- Can I get a job staying in bed?

- Yes, and you don't need a degree,

but instead of getting an HMO,

you make get an STD.

♪♪

- Hmm, what about dance?

Oh no, you've already mastered that.

You'd probably teach them a thing or two.

Hmm.

Oh there's horticulture.

North American studies.

There's African American studies.

Um, Latino American studies.

There is Native American studies.

- You know Lisa, you can be whatever you want to be.

- That's the problem. I don't know what that is.

- Well, what would you do every day

if you had all the money you ever wanted?

- Count my money.

How did you know what you wanted to do?

- Well, I wanted to be of service.

When I used to show up at people's houses,

it was 'cause I wanted to help people.

I like helping people.

- That's why I used to like working the champagne room.

I mean, it felt good being the best part of somebody's day.

I still read my Yelp reviews.

- Oh baby, please.

- Did I say something inappropriate?

- Like a stripper pole in a church.

- Well, maybe you should be an entrepreneur.

Look, how about a business class?

- That might not be a bad idea.

I mean, I did help the club manager

cook his books for the IRS.

- Don't overthink it.

If it feels right, just do what feels good.

You like taking care of people.

What about being a doctor?

- Mhm.

Dr. Lisa Payne.

- Yes, yes!

I love taking other people's money.

Could you pay me in small bills

so it feels like it's more than it is?

- How do you miss a 17-yard field goal

is what I want to know.

- I can answer your question after I count my paper.

Now pay up, you loser.

- Well, my wallet is in my jacket.

Oh.

- CJ! CJ, wake up! CJ!

Calvin, call 9-1-1.

- Hello, 9-1-1?

We need emergency medical attention right now.

- Did someone call for a doctor?

- Yay!

- Dr. Lisa, thank goodness you're here.

- There's no time for an ambulance.

I'll have to do the surgery here.

Agh, I can't.

I hate the sight of blood.

- What?

- So you're gonna let a little blood stop you?

- It's everything else too.

I mean, I don't want to know

what the insides of people look like.

Gross.

- You know, there are other things you can be.

You don't have to go into the medical field.

- Like what?

I'm a grown-up and I don't know

what I want to be when I grow up.

- Even Peter Pan had a resume.

You gotta figure something out.

- That's right.

Because my house is not Never, Never Leave Land.

- So I could pick any major in that book?

- Yep, you can take every class in here if you would like.

- That's nice.

I mean, it's like a christmas wish list for grownups.

Well, just where do you see yourself in two years?

- If I worked at the Psychic Hotline, I can answer that.

- Okay, well, what else do you have to think about

in college, but your future?

- Drink, party, have some sex.

Well, that's why [unintelligible].

- Mmhmm.

- Malik, I want my money back.

All of it.

Books, room, board, the whole thing.

- Oh no, I wasn't talking about me.

That's what everybody else was doing.

I did my homework and read the Bible.

- I know you're lying, but it makes me feel good to hear it.

- Okay, listen, Lisa, just forget about the catalog.

Okay?

And just think about your future.

- Yeah, think about your future.

- Where my dinner at, woman?

- I'm making it as fast as I can.

- You better 'cause I need some loving.

The sooner you finish my food and cleaning this kitchen,

the sooner I can get dirty.

Come on, now.

- Babe, I've been thinking.

- Oh, you're doing that thinking stuff again?

I told you about that.

You'll get yourself in trouble.

- I don't mind cooking for you,

but maybe you can wash the dishes sometimes.

- And maybe you could do a little less talking

and a little more cooking.

Okay?

[burps]

Now look, I work and you take care of the household.

That was the deal. Okay?

I don't know what else you qualified to do

besides take care of your man and your babies.

- I could, I could--

- You could, you could, you could go in there

and stir that pot before something burns.

Now go on, get in there.

I mean, ain't no better job in taking care of your man.

This is in high demand.

So you better go on and get in there

before you get laid off.

[laughs]

- Lisa, I admire you for going to school

and trying to better yourself.

You're taking charge of your life

and not just waiting to see what's gonna happen.

- Absolutely.

- I also agree.

You're gonna have a great future.

- I still don't know what I want to be

or what I wanna do.

- Keep thinking.

You're good at winning arguments with Malik.

Maybe you could be a lawyer.

- A lawyer.

I demand the release of my client immediately

and expect a formal apology on my desk within 24 hours.

If not, I will beat you so badly in court,

they will need dental records to identify your body.

Bye.

- Stop playing, Curtis, stop playing.

- Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Payne.

- What's happening, baby?

Hey, we was just thinking about you.

I was thinking about you and wanted to say hi.

Hi.

- Are you okay? You seem nervous.

- ELLA: Nervous, who!?

I ain't do nothin'. Why you trippin'?

- It was self-defense.

- That's right.

- Why are you peepin' in the window?

Are you expecting somebody?

- Well, as a matter of fact, well, you see it, um,

might be a little company stop by to see Ella.

- Who?

- The police. - What?

- Yeah, the po-po.

One time. Five-oh.

- I know who the police are.

Why are they looking for Ms. Ella?

- See, uh, it was a little misunderstanding

down at the church, involving a pistol and a backslider.

Pop, pop.

Imma need a good lawyer.

I really need you to represent me.

You know how folks do people like us.

Mmm.

- That's what I do.

I protect innocent people and keep them out of jail.

- What about the guilty people?

- Excuse me?

- What about the guilty people?

- She's guilty like a naked man in a girl's locker room guilty.

- The worse thing is, mm, I kinda enjoyed it.

I could walk up and I could do it again.

- Killing people?

- Heck yeah!

Oh my god.

[shivers]

It gave me a rush.

- Calm down, baby.

You know how it get every time you get a new hobby.

You throw yourself into it and take up all your time.

Yesterday, it was needlepoint.

Today, it's homicide.

- Homicide? - Just this Aunty Ell',

I need to beat this rap.

- You just told me you would kill someone again.

- I'll do that. I'll do that.

- That is attorney/client privelege.

That means you can't say nothing to nobody.

- Pop, pop. - [police sirens]

- Pop, pop, pop, pop.

- What the hell?

- [unintelligible] - We all right. We got this.

- Okay.

- We got this, baby. - You got me or not?

C-c-come on, you got me or not?

- I,I,I,I--

I'm starting to think I don't want to get

guilty people out of jail.

- Well, baby, you got to decide on something.

- The quicker you decide, the faster you can start

learning new things.

- I know.

But I'm starting to think maybe college isn't for me.

- ♪

- Baby, uh, you might be overreacting.

- I don't think so.

- Yeah, I think you're stressing and you're not thinking clearly.

- I think I am.

I'm thinking clearer than cheap Tupperware.

- Wow!

This school has everything.

From aeronautics to cosmetology.

Oh, a veterinary technician.

Even general sciences.

- You know what, they actually are recruitting

more women to go into science.

- What? - Yeah.

- Me? A scientist?

- Boy, sit down.

You're gonna wear a hole in the floor.

- I'm worried about my dad.

I wish he hadn't volunteered for Lisa's science study.

- Lisa is the most brilliant scientist in the world.

Curtis is in good hands.

Woo-hoo-hoo.

Here they come. Here they come.

- Ah, Curtis.

Curtis, oh Curtis.

- See, I told you I'd bring Uncle Curtis back in one piece.

- [laughter]

- Curtis, how do you feel?

What are you wearing?

- Ella, I feel exquisite.

I'm a little fatigued from so much reading.

- Hey, Pops, you wanna watch the game?

- Maybe later, Son.

I'm excited to attend the Langston Hughes Symposium

which is downtown.

And then later I will go to the Marcus Garvey lecture,

which I've been invited to.

You must come, Son. Please attend with me.

- Lisa, what did you do to him?

I want my dad back.

- Uncle Curtis helped me complete

my intelligence suppository.

Once inserted, the user's intelligence quotient triples.

- I'm sorry, your intelligence what?

- Suppository.

After several clinical trials I found this delivery method

most efficient.

- So, you made him smarter

by sticking a pill up his dumb ass?

- No, no, Son.

I feel like I've only discovered that I have so much more life

left to yet discover.

- Yes.

- But you struck the proverbial nail on the head.

Once I opened my mind to the process,

I was transformed into this brilliant heap of humanity.

- Ah.

- That stands before you.

- Well, you a heap of something.

Can you please turn him back?

I want my old Curtis back.

I want my old Curtis back.

- I'm sorry to disappoint y'all,

but I'm starting to think college isn't for me.

- They do have dental hygiene.

- There's nothing wrong with that.

I mean, a lot of successful people

don't go to college, nowadays.

- You told me I had to go to college.

- You're built differently, Son.

Lisa's got hustle in her blood.

- Well, what's in my blood?

- Don't, don't throw me a softball, Son.

Your self-esteem can't handle it.

Lisa, we support you.

Take your time.

Think about it, you know, before you make any decisions.

- Well, I know I'm gonna finish school.

No matter how long it takes or how much money it costs you.

- That's exactly what I'm afraid of.

- ♪

- Hey, Imma make a grilled cheese.

You want one? - Nah, I'm good.

I think I'm starting to become lactose intolerant.

Last time I ate dairy, it was like my ass

was a drive-by shooting.

- You know, I was sleeping next to you

and then I had a dream that Gabrielle Union was kissing me.

And then, the next minute I had a nightmare

that she was trying to choke me in a porta potty.

- So, you are creeping in your dreams.

- You serious?

- [laughs] I'm joking.

- Oh, whew.

I thought your crazy had reached a new level.

- My what?

- Oh, nothing. I didn't say nothing.

So, uh, this is really important to you, huh?

- This is just words on a piece of paper

with some pictures and it could change my life.

- Yeah.

- I wanna go to community college.

I wanna go to community college,

a four year college, get my PHd

and then get my masters.

- That's a little out of order but, I get you.

- You think like your dad?

That I can do whatever I want to?

- I really do.

As long as you have a strong support system

like this family, you can do anything.

- Thanks, Babe.

- You're welcome.

You know what?

You can do all of that and get a job and we've got your back.

- I don't want a job. I want a career.

I want to be somebody our kids can look up to.

- If you wanna go to college, I got you.

I support you 100 percent.

We'll make it work, baby.

- Thanks, babe.

- FEMALE: The male lion can mate up to 100 times a day.

- Damn, who's got that kind of time?

- FEMALE: The act of mating lasts only 17 seconds.

- Oh, they definitely talking about some young cats.

- Are you busy?

- Just looking at the lions do the unmentionable.

- [audience laughter]

- So, I been thinking.

- Alright.

Let's hear it.

- Okay.

I've been thinking and I'm terrified.

- It's called fear of the unknown.

- I just never had people like y'all in my life before.

- Crazy?

- Courageous.

- Oh.

I got four kids under my roof.

Two are grown and two are gremlins.

And my wife is the invisible woman.

- I was going to college to better my life

but y'all already doing that.

- So, you're not going?

- Oh, I'm going and I'm going strong.

And I'm not stopping until y'all calling me

Dr. Lisa Payne PhD, DDD,

MSBS, DJD,

EBT, BBD.

- Okay.

And I appreciate you wanting to get the whole alphabet in there.

Yes.

But, uh, let's, let's take it one step at a time.

- I will.

- And, uh, let me know what I can do.

You know, so that we can help.

- Well, since I'll be in school and Malik will be in school too,

we're gonna need Paw-paw to watch the baby, a lot.

- No.

- No?

- Absolutely not.

- Okay.

I'm sorry I asked.

- No one will ever call me Paw-Paw.

Now, my grandbaby, could call me Grandpop

when she's sitting on my lap, you know,

'cause that's what we do.

- Thanks, Mr. Payne.

- CJ: Yeah, and do me a favor.

- Anything.

- Don't graduate before Malik.

His self-esteem can't handle it.

- Okay.

- Thank you. He a little slow.

I mean, that's my guy, but he a little slow.

- ♪

- Hey, babe, how was work?

- [sighs] A businesswoman's work is never done.

If I have to buy low and sell high one more time.

- Well, your day is over,

my hard-working professional.

- Aw.

- Dinner is served. - Thanks, honey.

- You're welcome.

- Hello, darlings.

Greetings.

- Hello, Miranda. - Hello.

- How is the fur treating you?

- Oh, it is absolutely amazing.

I can't belive you grew this in a lab.

It feels so expensive.

- Well, we can aford it.

Who knew creating an app would make me

the richest woman in America?

- Right.

Who knew Tinder for Pets would take off the way it did,

and so many people have pets that just wanted to hook up?

- Ah, look at us.

Dad, would be so proud.

- Please, he's too busy enjoying the yacht

we bought him to care.

- [laughing]

- ♪

- Those kids are gonna be alright.

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪