Original subtitles

- ♪

- Hey, Unc, how you feelin', man?

What you... You doin' a touch-up job, huh?

- CURTIS: Hey, nephew.

I'll tell you how I feel.

I feel like I wanna get a big gigantic squeegee

and clean my neighbor's window.

- Whoa, look at that!

- Ain't that a mess?

- Man, them windows look like they ain't been

cleaned in years! Talk about 50 shades of gray.

You know what?

This neighborhood is so messed up

that the HOA got pictures of the whole neighborhood

on the website.

- I saw it. Our street.

- Look, I was just looking at it! Look.

Look at this right here. - That was it!

- Now what would make you paint half of your house?

- They either ran out of money or they ran out of paint.

- I mean, the whole neighborhood!

All these people. Look at Sheila.

Sheila got a refrigerator sitting on her porch.

- That's why I'm running for HOA president.

- Oh, you are? - You doggone right I am.

We gonna get this neighborhood back in tip-top shape!

- Hey, and that wrought-iron patio set that they givin' to

the new president is nice, too.

- Now, that patio is nice, though.

Hey, did you see the swivel seats?

- Yeah!

- And them big giant oversized umbrellas?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- That thing missing one thing. - What's that?

- Me and a beer.

- And me toasting a cold brew to you.

- Cheers.

- Yeah, this neighborhood could use some fresh ideas.

- Yeah.

You know, Mr. Burks been president for way too long.

He don't even enforce anything anymore.

- What he gonna enforce?

His idea of home improvement is opening his front door

and letting out them flies.

- That's a shame.

You outta there, Mr. Burks!

- You outta there!

Why you got all them flies in your house?

- ♪

♪♪

- Stick it out. Your hands, in the seams.

Yes, very good.

Now, one-two-three-four.

Take number two going under to one.

Under to, yes! - LISA: I'm doing it.

- Yes, and then, Lisa, fold your sheet in.

Any way you want to fold it.

Look, and then I'm gonna walk in,

yes, and then you fold down,

and I fold up.

Yes, and then you hurry up and put it down here.

- I need a lot of practice.

- ELLA: Once you find the corners, it's easy.

Everything has its place.

You just have to get in where you fit in.

- Can I ask you a question?

You know, I'm making less money as a hostess

than I was as a dancer. - ELLA: Wait, wait, wait.

You talkin' to a life coach.

Continue.

- For sure.

I need to get moving.

I mean, making $15 an hour ain't cutting it.

- Okay, I will be happy to guide you to your next steps.

What is your end goal?

- To have my own reality show.

- Okay, before that?

- Take care of my family and start my own business.

- ELLA: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Will you have to change anything to make that happen?

- Yes, but...

I'm kinda scared.

- Oh, Lisa, if you don't wanna make $15 an hour,

then you gotta make that move.

- Yeah, you right. - ELLA: Yeah.

- Thanks. - So do...

Do you know what you have to do now?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Do you have any more questions for the life coach?

- Yes. - ELLA: Oh. [chuckling]

- So, do I have to call you to come over here

every time I need to fold a fitted sheet?

- You better not.

Practice.

- Oh, you need to get the signs and put on it like

what you gonna do as HOA president,

like, uh, monthly meetings.

- Monthly meetings with snacks.

- I like it, I like it.

Yeah, what about this?

"Clean up after yo' pets."

- That would be a poop pick-up policy,

'cause I'm so sick of Ephraim's dog,

that I tell you what else, grass needs to be cut every week.

- No, grass don't need to be cut every week.

Grass supposed to be cut every two weeks.

That's normal.

- Normal?

CJ, that's not normal.

That's lazy.

Now grass need to be cut every week.

Everybody know that!

- Well, some people have lives.

Not everybody is retired like you.

- What is that supposed to mean?

You trying to say because I'm retired,

I ain't got nothing to do but cut grass?

- When you was chief,

you didn't cut yo' grass every week.

- Be surprised how many people

support cutting grass every week, CJ.

That's all I'm saying.

- Well, I'm not cutting my grass every week.

- Well then you better make sure you got a extra $10.

- I'm Coach Payne. [chuckling] - Hey, Auntie Ella.

- Hi, babe! Hey, Malik! How are you?

- How is my favorite auntie in the entire world?

- Oh, oh, oh!

I'm doing very well, thank you.

- Why don't you make yourself comfortable and sit down?

I'll put these groceries away. Don't worry about that.

- Okay. What's happening?

Did you hit my car? - Oh, no!

No, no, I didn't hit your car.

- What is it? What is it? It's something.

Did you get another girl pregnant?

- Oh, no!

Uh, listen, Auntie Ella, it's none of those things.

I just wanted to tell you I really appreciate you

for having a talk with Lisa.

She's really excited. - Oh!

Oh, she is? - Yes.

She told me you talked her into doing what she needed to do.

- Yes, I did.

Well, you know, I'm a life coach now.

- Well, you really helped her out

because she was really scared to put herself out there,

but after talking to you, she went ahead and did it.

- It's a scary thing, to quit your job.

You just gotta get out there.

- Oh no, she didn't quit her job.

She asked for a raise and she got it,

which is great! - That's great.

- Thank you so much, Auntie Ella!

- You're welcome.

- MALIK: Let me get these groceries for you.

You need anything else? - I don't--

- You sure you, ah, shoo, at this point,

I'll do, re-tile the roof if you need to.

- She's still working at the club?

And on prime time? - MALIK: Yes, ma'am.

- Let me see how my teacher responded.

[Ella chuckling]

"Coach Ella..." [Ella chuckling]

"If your client didn't follow your guidance,

make sure that you communicated clearly."

I did!

I communicated clearly.

She said she wanted to quit her job,

I said, "Quit your job."

Okay, and after, okay, oh!

"And consider taking our short course on communication."

I don't need that.

Okay, that's it.

Lisa misinterpreted what I was saying.

Oh-- - [Curtis wailing]

- Curtis! - CURTIS: I'm mad, Ella!

- Curt. - I'm mad!

- Curtis, what's wrong?

- I'm "snatch the bottle out of baby's mouth" mad!

- What's wrong, baby?

- CJ been putting up signs to counter my signs!

- CJ? - Yes!

- Curtis, how, wait. How do you know?

How do you know?

- 'Cause he defaced my signs, Ella.

He called me $10 Curtis, Ella!

- Baby, wait a minute.

All you have to do is go in here, okay, wait,

let me come out of here, okay, to the HOA--

- Go over there! - Website--

- Go to it! - Online, and, uh--

- Go! - Baby, just, be right--

- What we gonna do? - Well, state your case.

- Put all that sock's favor, okay, get it up!

- State your case, okay. - You got it up?

- Uh-oh.

[Ella muttering] - What's wrong?

- CJ has already posted his opinion.

- [Curtis gasping] - Yes.

- What he say? What the hell he say?

- He said, right there, see what he say?

- What he say?

"First, you trim, when it comes to yo' lawn,

"then they gonna tell you when to cut yo' mustache."

- What's that? - Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Tell you what, I got something! - Okay, baby.

- CURTIS: Got something, put it on there for me.

- I'm going down, okay, right here. Okay, now--

- I'm gonna let the people know.

Look here, people like manicured and nice lawns.

- Wait. "Lawns."

- CURTIS: Manicured and nice lawns.

- Yes, sir. - And they like

nice manicured mustacheses.

- "Mustaches." - Mustacheses.

- ELLA: "If..."

Curtis? - Put that on there.

- Uncle Curtis! We need to talk.

- ELLA: I'm getting out of here. Curtis, y'all better behave!

- You right, we need to talk.

Why you put yo' hands on my signs?

- You went too far with the grass thing.

- And you went too far when you broke the rules, CJ.

- What rules?

- You know the rules, CJ.

You don't go against family!

Everybody know that!

You saw "The Godfather"!

- I feel very strongly about this.

- And I feel strong about it, too.

That's why I'm running for HOA president!

- That's why I'm running for HOA president.

- [Curtis gasping]

- You wouldn't even be running for president

if I wasn't running for president, CJ!

- I wouldn't be running for president

if you wasn't trying to make people

cut their grass every week!

- ELLA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Are you two seriously arguing over cutting some grass?

- Stay out of this, woman!

You don't understand what a man's lawn mean to him.

- It's the calling card to his home,

and he not gonna let another man tell him when he can cut it!

- You're a 14-Day CJ!

- [CJ growling] - [Curtis growling]

- ELLA: Fellas!

Fellas!

Sit down!

Not there.

Not there!

Curtis! Here!

CJ! There!

Now, sit down.

- No, he said it.

I'm not sitting, he sit down first.

- She told you sit down first. - Go!

Now, we are gonna do

a frame of reference exercise.

Curtis, stand up.

State your case.

- People should mow their lawns every week.

It keeps a nice, neat, manicured neighborhood.

- Have a seat, Curtis.

CJ, stand, and give your rebuttal.

- Two weeks is ample time to let the grass grow.

And it's hot and you cut the grass every week,

it'll burn up.

- ELLA: Hmm.

- Then water it. - Sit down!

- What if you met in the middle and settled on

cutting the grass every 10 days, huh?

- Don't nobody do that. - That's ridiculous.

- CURTIS: Get out of here with that.

- You're both being stubborn!

- I'm going to work on my campaign.

- Yeah, you need to go work on it,

and I know it's gonna take you two weeks!

'Cause one week ain't long enough!

- ♪

- [knocking on door] - ELLA: Hoodie-hoo, hoodie-hoo!

- Come in. - ELLA: Oh. Hi, Lisa!

- LISA: Hey, Ella. Hey.

- ELLA: Thank you so much for, ooh, letting me come over

at the last minute. - No problem.

You want some sweet tea?

- ELLA: Ooh, uh...

You know what?

- It's real sweet. - No.

- It's like a diabetes starter kit.

- No, I'm fine, thank you.

I'm fine.

- Thanks for teaching me

how to fold a fitted sheet this morning.

I mean, I've been on a folding binge ever since.

- Lisa, you're welcome.

I wanted to speak with you about our talk this morning.

- Yeah, you really putting me on.

Now your sista about to be getting paid!

- Okay.

Well, Lisa, when I spoke with you this morning

as a life coach,

I thought I was guiding you to a step up in life.

- Exactly. - ELLA: Yes.

So when you said that you weren't making enough money,

I thought you were gonna quit your job and find another one.

- LISA: Quit my job? - ELLA: Uh-huh.

- I still gotta pay my bills. That would be crazy.

I mean, that's why I asked to make more money as a hostess.

Now I'm making it rain with my clothes on.

- But I thought you wanted to be an entrepreneur.

- I do, just someday, not today.

I mean, you know, me and Malik hooked up,

and now I'm a single parent with a baby on the way,

and I gotta look out for myself.

- Lisa, yes, but you should just take some classes.

Look for a scholarship.

- The scholarship ain't gonna pay the bills.

- Lisa, there are a lot of ways to make this work

from what I've learned in class.

- Miss Ella, your classes are great.

They helped me make a decision,

but now I gotta make the decision.

- You're right.

- ♪

- Mr. Burks, I am so sorry.

And he said you had flies in your house?

Oh, Mr. Burks, I'm so sorry.

Okay, yes, sir, I will talk with him.

I will talk with both of them.

Okay, thank you, sir, sorry!

Oh, Mr. Burks, but you do have flies in your house.

Curtis!

Curtis! Come on, baby.

Come in. - What up, baby?

- That was Mr. Burks on the phone, the big HOA president.

- What that old fly-monger want?

- Curtis, Mr. Burks is upset.

He said the neighbors have been complaining

because you and CJ have flooded their yards

with campaign signs, and if you do not remove them,

you will be fined.

- I'd be removing signs all day!

- Curtis, I just saw yo' sign in a neighbor's yard

when I drove in the neighborhood!

- Yeah, but I been removing all of CJ's signs,

threw 'em in the trash!

- I will be so glad when this election is over!

- Me too.

We'll know tonight.

- Curtis, you and CJ have been acting like children.

- Have not!

And besides, CJ started it.

- Curtis, you and CJ have got to stop

all this name-calling and all this sign-stealing.

You've got to stop that, baby.

- What is this, the life coach talking?

Telling me what to do?

- Curtis, I don't have to be a life coach to tell you

when something is wrong.

You and CJ need to call a truce.

You're over here fighting over grass.

Grass, Curtis.

It's trivial and it's beneath you.

And you two... [laughing]

You see what I just did right then?

- I don't even know why you went to that class.

You always know what to say.

Thank you, baby.

- ELLA: Hoodie-hoo! Hoodie-hoo.

- MALIK: Hey, Auntie Ella. - Hey, you two.

Lisa, listen.

I just came by to say thank you.

- Uh, because? - Well, earlier I came by,

and we were talking about being a life coach,

and Lisa said that I helped her make a decision,

and I know it had nothing to do with life coaching.

I have been helping people make decisions all of my life.

- You right about that.

Even when they don't ask for it.

- So you stopped?

- Yes, I stopped, and then I found out

they were trying to get me to take another class.

- You mean like one of them classes

that you gotta take before you can start calling people

and letting them know their car warranty wore out?

- Okay, stay with me, baby, okay? Just stay with me.

All I'm saying is I found out

they were more interested in me taking the class than coaching.

- Oh, so you thinking it's some type of scam?

- ELLA: I don't know.

I guess I was just taking the class

to say I was a life coach.

- Don't feel bad. You give great advice.

- Thank you.

- You taught me how to fold a fitted sheet.

- What? You finally learned how to do that?

Usually you just ball it up

and toss it to the back of the closet or something.

- I'm talking to Miss Ella.

Anyways, Miss Ella,

when it look like it wouldn't fold,

you said, "Everything has a place.

Get in where you fit in."

- Yes. - MALIK: Oh, wow.

You learned that from folding fitted sheets?

- LISA: Mm-hmm.

- You good. You real good.

- Malik, stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

I just know that being a life coach is not for me,

and it's okay,

and the decision that you made is okay.

Came by to say thank you, that's it.

- Thanks, Miss Ella. - You're welcome.

Um, is that that tea that you made earlier today?

- Sure is.

- Did you have some? It's so good.

- No. - It's like my third glass.

- [Ella chuckling]

- Please get some before I drink it all up.

- Oh, no, no.

I tell you what, drink it all and come over to my house.

I want to see how you act then.

- Hey, I'm glad you invited me over.

- No problem.

- Things got out of hand, so, uh, just wanted to apologize

for calling you $10 Curtis.

But you didn't have to pull up all my signs.

- Yes, I did.

You had more signs than me.

Way more signs.

- You put half of your signs in my yard.

- Where are they now? - In the garbage.

- Well, did you get a call from Mr. Burks complaining about

the number of signs in the yard?

- Yeah, he told me about the fine.

- [Curtis chuckling] - I want to report him

for wearing suspenders with a belt.

- Hey, tell you what, CJ.

Let's just support each other no matter who wins.

- Bet. - Bet.

- Baby, do you wanna turn it up? - Oh, oh, here we go.

They about to announce the winner.

- MAN: And now, our local election--

- At least we know it's gonna be a Payne.

- MAN: In District 12, Tim Burks is elected

Neighborhood President. - EVERYONE: Mr. Burks?

- MAN: Curtis Payne was beaten by only one vote

to retain his post as neighborhood president.

- By one vote! - I'm sorry.

- Oh, well, I know you didn't vote for me, CJ.

But, baby, thank you for voting for me.

- Well, then, you must've voted for me then.

- Well, who did you vote for, Ella?

- I'm an independent.

- Ooh, this a game right here.

This the game where you lose. - Mm-hmm.

- Oh yeah, play a card! Play your card, Lisa!

- All right. Reverse, reverse, reverse.

Bruno, Bruno out!

Boo-yah! I won! What's up?

- I don't wanna play with you no more!

You be cheating! Ain't no way you winning all these games!

- LISA: You mad? - I'ma tell Auntie Ella on you.

- Oh, you big mad.

- And she was right about yo' tea! It got a twang to it!

I don't wanna play with you!

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪