All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S10E02 - A Payneful Lesson WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

- Floyd, Floyd, Floyd.
- Hey.

- I really appreciate you
helping out

while Curtis is away.

- You know that's not no
problem, sis.

Curtis is my boy now.

You know, y'all--y'all are
like family to me.

- Floyd, I have been
wanting those shelves

put up in my bedroom for
years!

[laughs]
- Uh-huh.

- And when they're up,
I have all kinds

of little knick-knacks to
put up there.

- Mm-hmm.

- Would you--would you like
something to drink, Floyd?

- Oh no, I'm not really
thirsty anyway.

But a little breakfast
would be nice.

- Alright.

- Like maybe like some
shrimp and grits

and possibly some waffles
with hashbrowns,

scattered, covered, and
smothered of course.

And you know how to
make quiche?

I really get hungry when
I'm working.

- How 'bout some
scrambled eggs?

- Well, if that's all you're
capable of doing,

then I guess it'll just have
to do.

But look here,
but not now.

I gotta take C.J. to the
doctor.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. What?

So when are you gonna
work on the shelves?

- I'm not.

- Floyd, but you have all
of the shelving in there

on my bedroom floor.

- I know, but Calvin's
gonna take care of it.

- Calvin?

- I gotta take C.J.
to the doctor.

You know about his back
problem.

- Okay, Floyd, can you at
least get all the shelving

up off of the--

- What was that C.J.?

Okay, wait, you're about
to black out?

I gotta go, I gotta go.

- I just remembered.
- What?

- I just remembered how
crazy you are.

- And you know, I just
remembered something too.

- What, what? I'm afraid to say
what.

- Eggs over easy and
avocado toast.

- ♪

♪

♪♪

- Calvin, Calvin!

Calvin, come show me
what you said.

I can't do it.

Come on, I can't do it.

- I'm never gonna finish
putting up those shelves

if you keep calling me out
here every five minutes.

- Baby, I just don't
understand

this fancy internet stuff. See?

- Mom, editing photos is
easy.

It has nothing to do
with the internet.

- That's what you say.

- Look, go to your photos.

- Thank you.

- Hit edit.
- Edit.

- Okay. Now see the icon for
crop?

Hit that.
- I see it!

- --the frame how you want it.
- Oh, that's good.

Ah, ha, ha, ha.
- Wait, Mom, no.

- Calvin, where did--where--
where--where's my head?

Calvin, why don't
I have a head?

- CALVIN: You gotta start
over.

- Make way for the
walking wounded.

- Oh C.J.!

How did it go at the
doctor's office?

- It went well.

He's a natural doctor
and a herbalist.

- Yeah, he looked barbaric.

And whatever that he
concocted for his back

got him and my car
smelling like hot garbage.

- Were you able to get
my package while you were out?

- Yes, ma'am, it's in the car.
- Wow!

C.J., woah, you are ripe!

- Yeah, that's the salve
the doctor gave me

for my back.
- Ooh.

- Is that what I smell?

You're coming on strong,
bro.

You got my eyes watering.

- Yeah, that--that means
it's working.

- Oh here, let me help you.
- No!

Come on man, stop!
Don't rush me.

- Bruh, you gotta jump
right into the pain.

You know, this remind me
of the time

when my mama's tooth
was loose

and I said, "Let me see it."

And I just snatched
both of 'em out.

- Yeah, that was terrible.

- It's okay though, she
only had two left.

- And you called my doctor
barbaric.

- Look, you wouldn't have
a problem

if you stop going to see
all them quacks.

- Again, Floyd, he is a
chiropractor.

It's all about natural
healing.

- Well, C.J., that really
doesn't look natural.

- Agh, Agh!
- Easy.

- Yeah, see, see, I told you.

I told you I could do it.

- Yeah, that didn't look
hard at all.

- Yeah.

- Well, C.J., does the
salve make the pain go away?

- Well, I'm not about to
lift 450,

but I'm improving.

I thought I'd be further
along by now.

- You need to see a real
doctor.

That's the bottom line,
C.J.

- I really want to deal with
this

through alternative methods.

- Well how long did the
witch doctor say

that you're gonna have
to deal with this pain?

- The back is a funny thing.

He said it's gonna take
some time.

- You know, C.J., I wouldn't
normally do this

but since we're damn
near kin and everything.

I would be willing to offer to
take these hands

and give you a massage.

You know, mano a mano.

- Ah, no-o y no-o.

- Hey, suit yourself.

- Okay, Floyd, can you
please just go help Calvin

with the shelves?

- Good thinking, Ella.

You know, he's probably
too proud to ask for my help.

- [laughs]

You alright?
- Yeah.

Yeah, the chiropractor wants me
to do these stretches.

He said they'll loosen up
the muscles in my back.

- Is that right?

Well, C.J., have you spoken
with any other professionals

about what's going on
with your back?

- Well, my

regular physician--
- Careful.

- --wants me to have surgery.

But I'm not--I'm not
with that.

- Well, you know what else
works?

- What?

- Going to see a
neurosurgeon.

- I don't--I don't feel like
surgery is the way to go.

There's so many
alternative methods

to back problems these
days.

You got--you got yoga,
you got strength training.

Look. Look at this.

Look.

Now I'm thinking about
getting one of those.

They say that for 30
minutes a day

that'll work wonders.

- This machine right there?

- Uh-huh.

- [laughs]

So, C.J., you would rather
hang like a bat

upside down for 30
minutes every day

than go see a doctor?

That's ridiculous.
- No, it's not, no it's not.

I got a friend who recently
left the country to get shots

and he said,
within days, he felt no pain.

I'm looking into that.

- If you have to use a
passport to get rid of pain,

seems like you're going
a long, long way

to keep from seeing a
regular doctor.

- You can get a lot of things
done much cheaper

outside the US.

- I don't know about that.

Are you--is it safe?

I mean, you know, what
if something happens?

- I've done plenty of
research on the internet.

- Okay, so you'd rather
believe what you read

on the internet

than what
a medical professional says?

- What did the internet do
to you?

- Well, the internet cut
my head off.

Cut my head off.

Look.

It cut my head off.

- [laughing]

- You know, that Calvin
is doing a bang-up job

on those shelves, I mean--

Under my tutelage, of
course.

- Well, it looks like your
tutelage is in here

sitting on the couch.

- Floyd, where's my tablet?

I gotta look up a video
for these shelves.

- You didn't do what
I told you to do?

- That didn't work.

- Look in my car under
the driver's seat.

- Can you grab that blue bag for
me?

It has my herbs in it.
- Got it.

- ELLA: And oh, and get
my package.

Bring my package in,
please.

- You know what, C.J., did
I ever tell you

about the time my girlfriend
Tina blew my back out?

- Floyd...

- I don't--I don't wanna
hear this.

- No, I mean, we had just
started dating

and I had taken her
ice skating one night.

- I'm 'bout to throw up.

- No, you may wanna
get up.

- But see, I had a rope,
a blanket,

and a kerosene lamp.

Yeah, and some Johnnie
Taylor tapes.

- What is this, Fifty Shades
of Floyd?

- Look, what happened,
we went out there on the ice,

I lit the
kerosene lamp,

put it on the blanket
and we just sat there

and we stared in each
others' eyes.

You know, the flames,
they flickered over the ice

and it was almost like we
were on the ocean.

- That actually sounds
pretty cool.

- Yeah.
- No, no, no.

Just wait.

- But then Tina rolled her
big ass

and knocked over the
kerosene lamp

and the blanket caught
fire.

Never knew that ice
could melt that fast.

So here we are, we were
sinking.

We're trying to swim and
finally I just got on her back

'cause she's bigger and
she's a little bit more buoyant,

if you know what
I mean.

And I tried to get to the
side and everything.

I--I just can't understand
it,

my back ain't been right
since.

You know what?

I now have a new
appreciation for crushed ice.

- Floyd, my tablet isn't
under your seat

and your car door's
wide open.

- Well, I mean, I locked
the door.

Excuse me!
- Hey!

- Was there any damage
to the door?

- Not that I can tell.

But I think somebody
broke into the car.

- Y'all not gonna believe
this.

- ALL: Somebody
broke into the car.

- ♪

- Floyd, how did somebody
break into the car?

- I don't know, man.

These thieves are getting
cleverer and cleverer

each and every day.

- Did you perhaps leave
the door open

when we came
back from the doctor's?

- No, it was locked.

I left the window cracked
because of that funky salve

that you had on you.

- CALVIN AND C.J.: You left
the window cracked?

- Did they get my box?

- Ella, they took your box.

C.J., they took your bag.

Calvin, they took your
tablet.

And they took my
Johnnie Taylor tapes.

- Oh my goodness.

That box had my fabric in
it.

And my fabric has been on
back order for two months.

- C.J.: And my herbs and
ointment.

- Oh, they gonna return
that

'cause they ain't gonna
be able to handle that stink.

Maybe we can just find
everything

by following that smell.

My tablet, Floyd.

Laura just bought that,
now it's gone

and it's all your fault.

- Why is everybody blaming
me?

Don't y'all realize that
I'm a victim, too? Hmm?

My Johnnie Taylor tapes.

- I can't believe you left
the window down.

- Cracked. I left the window
cracked.

- Floyd, I will never find
that fabric for my--

for my shelves!

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I left the window
cracked

and allowed the thief to
come and break in my car

and steal all of your
things, okay?

- I don't know what you
were thinking.

- So you basically asked
for somebody to rob you

by showing everybody
your crack.

- My what?

- The crack in the window.

- Yeah, Floyd, you basically
said, "Free stuff! "Free stuff!"

- So this is what we're
doing?

Now I done got violated

but I don't get no sympathy
here?

- ALL: Nope.

- You know what? You Paynes
have cut me deep.

You've gone too far.

Look, I filed a police
report

and that's all I can do.

I'll never forget this!

- ♪

- [laughs]

How--how's the view down there?

- Not too bad.

Just if I could learn how to
drink a cold beer from here,

this would be perfect.

- Either hike the ball or run
with it.

- Wait, wait, don't touch
him.

C.J., how long are you
supposed to be like that?

- 'Till about five minutes
ago.

I really need some help.

[yelling]

Easy, easy.

- Remember to breathe.

Remember the breaths.

[panting]

- I think that only works
when you're in labor.

- Honestly, C.J., if it's this
bad,

maybe you should just
have the surgery.

- No.

I put in a call to my boy
Marcus,

he had the same thing.

And he went down to
Mexico and got some--

and got some shots.

So I'm waiting for him to
call me back now

with his doctor's information.

- You 'bout to blow
through

your frequent-flyer miles
for that?

- [phone ringing]

- Hey, Marcus,
what's happening, man?

Yeah, no, no. I need that.

Yeah, I still need the
information.

Uh-huh.

What?

Did they say what
happened? What caused it?

Okay, man, well look, man,
I'm sorry to hear that, bro.

Thanks for letting me
know, man. Yeah, yeah.

I'll get back to you.

Stay up, bro, stay up. Alright.

- So, what's going on?

- Uh, Marcus said for the
first few days he was fine,

and but now
he's in the hospital,

'cause he's partially
paralyzed.

- Oh, ha, you have to go to
the doctor.

- Yeah, 'cause you can't
handle a shot of tequila.

You damn sure don't want
a shot of whatever Marcus had.

- C.J., now it's a
done deal.

You're gonna go make
an appointment

and have the surgery.

- I can't.

- Why?

- Bottom line, a Black man
in this country

goes under the knife and
ain't no telling

what's gonna happen.

- What does that even
mean?

- Any time I go to the
doctor,

I feel like I'm shooting
dice.

America doesn't have
the best reputation

when it comes to Black
people and healthcare.

- The Tuskegee
Experiment.

- Exactly.

How you gonna do an
experiment on Black men

for 40 years, basically
treating them

like they're guinea pigs?

- Sometimes I get a little
nervous

when I go to the doctor.

- And--and what about
Henrietta Lacks?

I mean, doctors took cells
out of her body

without her knowledge

and mass produced 'em for
research.

- That's deep.

- Yeah, and I'm sure
there's much more

that we don't even know
about.

- That may be true.

But there are exceptions
to every rule.

- That may be true but I
still can't help but think,

"Is surgery necessary, or
am I an experiment?"

"Or is this a racket just to
milk insurance companies

for money?"

- So what are you gonna
do?

- I could try getting shots
in Mexico and end up paralyzed,

or I could do the surgery here
and be a experiment.

Or I could just wait for
my herbs to kick in

and see what they do.

- Seriously, Cuz, if you're
not going to Mexico,

can you give me some of
your frequent-flyer miles?

- ♪

- Careful C.J.

- I gotta wait a few minutes for
the corner pieces to dry.

- Oh, Calvin, thank you.

I'm just sorry, I did not
know that the shelving

was going to be such a
major project.

- Well, it would have
helped if the instructions

were in English.

I'm sorry it's taking so long,
Mom.

I know you wanted to put
the fabric on the shelves

when I finished.

- I don't even have any
fabric now, so it's just fine.

I'll do something else.
- I don't have it.

- Really? So we just can't just
move past that?

- Past what?

- Making me feel like it's
my fault

that somebody has
burglarized the car

and stole all your things.

- You did leave the window
open.

- But I didn't steal anything!
Okay?

Don't be bad at me, be mad
at the thief.

- I'm not mad.

You did go back to the
naturopath and get my herbs.

- Yeah, and I'm lucky that
I didn't come out of there

with a shrunken head.

- I don't think that's
possible.

- Really? You're doing this?

Look here, my Johnnie Taylor
tapes were stolen, alright?

I ain't see nobody feel
sorry for me about that.

- I cried a little bit, but that
had more to do

with my back hurting
than anything.

- And, Calvin, you gonna
sit up here

and put on the neighborhood
watch what happened?

Now it's one thing to be
scrutinized by my family,

but a stranger?

Come on now, now I
done--I done stepped up

to be a part of this family,
and I feel like

I ain't been nothing but
stepped on.

- Floyd, we did not mean
to hurt your feelings.

- Let me ask you something,
Ella.

You remember when me
and you, Curtis and Tina

went to that party, right?
- Yes.

- And they played "Disco Lady".
You remember that?

Woo!

When they played that
song I told y'all--

y'all was the finest things
in the place.

You remember that?
- I remember that.

- That was Johnnie Taylor.

- Ah, we had fun that
night.

- Every time I hear that
song, I think about

all those beautiful memories
that came along with that,

especially what me and
Tina did

in that dog gone ice rink.

- I'm sorry, Floyd.

- Now here this, I lost
those Johnnie Taylor tapes,

but I don't think y'all
respect that.

- I'm sorry, Floyd.

- You know what? You're right,
Floyd.

I'm sorry too.

- Count me in on that.

I didn't mean to make
you feel bad.

- Well, Floyd, we were
just caught up in our loss.

We didn't even think about
how you felt.

And we'll never do it again.

- Okay. Apology accepted.

So we're good?
- Good.

- Good?
- I'm good.

- Good?

- [yelling]
- Ah!

Be more careful.

You know what?
Now that was my fault.

- ♪

- I think this will do, C.J.

I got a pillow for you
like you asked.

Sit up, sit up.

Careful.

Did the heating pad help? Sit
back.

- Yes, thank you, thank
you.

Yeah, I'm sorry to be
in your way

with this back thing.

- Oh, no, no, no. You're not in
the way.

I just want you better.

- Yeah, back problems
are no joke.

- Listen, going to the
doctor should be

just as normal as going
to the barber shop,

it really should.

You have got to break the
cycle of a Black man

being skeptical of doctors.

- I've decided to get the
surgery.

And guess what?
- Yes?

- The same place that I
have to go

to get physical therapy is
the same place

that my naturopath was
sending me.

- First, we couldn't get you
to go to the doctor,

now you're going to all the
doctors.

- I need to do it for
myself as well as for my family.

- Hey, everybody.
- Hey, Floyd.

Well listen, C.J., while you're
doing that

check in with the doctor
upstairs.

- I've already done that,
you taught me well.

- Alright.

- [laughing]

- Hey, hey.

- Hey.
- Hey, baby.

- Mom, how is those shelves
holding up I put up for you?

- They're perfect.

Now, don't get offended.

So I didn't have the fabric
but I painted them.

And the paint turned out
so nice.

I mean, it's so nice that I
put some of Curtis' things

on top of those shelves.

- I'm glad it worked
out for you.

And if you ever want
me to put up extensions,

look what I found.

- Ah, I like it.

- You got your tablet back?

- Yeah, once I told Laura
that it was stolen,

she told me to activate
the location app on it.

Police brought it back
a few days later.

- Wait, she activated the
location app on your tablet?

She got you on lock down
like that?

- It was a gift.
I deactivated it.

Speaking of gifts, though.

Here you go, Floyd.
This is from all of us.

- No, you didn't.

No, y'all didn't!

"The Best of Johnnie
Taylor"!

Thank you, thank you.

- You're welcome.
You're welcome.

- Thank you, man.

Oh, I ain't gonna do
that again!

I just got in good with
this family again.

I ain't gonna do that.

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪