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♪
2
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[MARGE GROANS]
3
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[MARGE] Hmm.
4
00:00:10,986 --> 00:00:13,411
Who are these perfectly
coiffed young men
5
00:00:13,489 --> 00:00:15,155
on all the billboards?
6
00:00:15,173 --> 00:00:17,248
Wolfgang Von Bassdrop?
7
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Pound Sign Von Pound Sign?
8
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Sex Towel?
9
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Glenn the Eruptor?
10
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[SCOFFS] In my day,
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billboards advertised
things that made sense,
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00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:30,094
like energy drinks or exciting
new windshield repair companies.
13
00:00:30,172 --> 00:00:32,506
Now it's just an endless
stream of lookalike weirdos
14
00:00:32,508 --> 00:00:34,190
who no one has ever heard of.
15
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They're all DJs with residencies
16
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at casinos and nightclubs.
17
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,773
They can make millions
of dollars in one night.
18
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I heard DJ Cheeseface bought
his parents a mansion.
19
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That's right, Homer.
20
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He bought us a mansion.
21
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Son buy mansion?
22
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Bart is son.
23
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[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
24
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[SNORING SOFTLY]
25
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[SHOUTS, GRUNTING]
26
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What the hell are you doing?
27
00:01:03,539 --> 00:01:05,539
Duh, I'm giving you a glow-up
28
00:01:05,541 --> 00:01:07,316
for your rewarding new career.
29
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Keeping you off the streets
30
00:01:09,044 --> 00:01:10,819
and me in a mansion.
31
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You're going to be the
world's next hot DJ.
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You can start by mixing
with all my old records.
33
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Smash Mouth,
British nerd rocker Thomas Dolby.
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Akron, Ohio nerd rockers Devo.
35
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And Taco's Puttin' On the Ritz.
36
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Mmm, tacos, pudding and Ritz.
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From these musical seeds, you will grow
38
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a mighty skyscraper of
DJ fame and fortune.
39
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Now get behind those turntables
40
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and start spinning that
big stack of black shellac.
41
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[SCRATCHING RECORD]
42
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[PLAYING "SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE"
BY THOMAS DOLBY]
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- Hey, this doesn't suck.
- [PLAYING "WHIP IT" BY DEVO]
44
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[BOTH SONGS CONTINUE
PLAYING AS A MASH-UP]
45
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I've always wanted to
do something creative
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without actually creating something.
47
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♪ She blinded me with science... ♪
48
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,753
Hmm, something's still off.
49
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Ah!
50
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♪ Give the past a slip... ♪
51
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Perfect! Dominate that mix, boy.
52
00:02:01,597 --> 00:02:03,446
Rave against the dawn.
53
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:06,266
♪ When a problem comes along,
you must whip it ♪
54
00:02:06,268 --> 00:02:10,796
♪ Before the cream sits out too long,
you must whip it... ♪
55
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[YAWNS]
56
00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:14,941
What's all this ruckus?
57
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It's the middle of the night.
58
00:02:16,778 --> 00:02:19,295
If the boy's gonna
succeed in the DJ world,
59
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,631
he needs to practice on Ibiza time,
60
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,374
though at this point, I don't even think
61
00:02:23,452 --> 00:02:25,135
he's good enough for Corfu.
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I don't know what any
of those words mean,
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00:02:27,456 --> 00:02:30,140
but Maggie needs her sleep.
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00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:32,216
♪ Now whip it ♪
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♪ Into shape ♪
66
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,387
♪ Shape it up, get straight... ♪
67
00:02:36,465 --> 00:02:39,132
There, I made her A Quiet Place box.
68
00:02:39,134 --> 00:02:41,317
From the mind of John Krasinski.
69
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,561
I hate that guy!
70
00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:46,156
Bart cannot be a DJ in our basement.
71
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Honey, I completely agree.
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_
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Enjoy the billboard, pally.
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Seems like a good investment to me.
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I don't have a single concern.
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[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
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♪
78
00:03:02,324 --> 00:03:04,991
[LIVELY CHATTER]
79
00:03:04,993 --> 00:03:06,268
[CHEERING]
80
00:03:06,344 --> 00:03:09,512
Bart... I mean Bartholomieux.
81
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,940
When are you planning to drop the beat?
82
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Apparently, it's very important.
83
00:03:14,503 --> 00:03:17,504
Evening, Homer, or should I say morning?
84
00:03:17,506 --> 00:03:19,673
Listen, you know I like
to keep my blankets dry
85
00:03:19,675 --> 00:03:23,100
and my parties unpooped,
but, uh, all this, well,
86
00:03:23,178 --> 00:03:24,936
noise, I guess you'd call it,
87
00:03:25,013 --> 00:03:28,014
is making it difficult for
me and my boys to sleep.
88
00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:29,291
It's not noise.
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00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:31,685
It's a tantalizing journey into sound.
90
00:03:31,687 --> 00:03:35,780
Well, could you at least ask
Bart to turn it diddly down?
91
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,207
What?!
92
00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:38,875
Turn it diddly down!
93
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[FLANDERS' VOICE] ♪ Diddly down,
d-diddly down ♪
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00:03:41,363 --> 00:03:42,804
♪ Did-diddly down,
did-did-did-did... ♪
95
00:03:43,621 --> 00:03:45,882
Whoa,
listen to the cool guy in the song.
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00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,310
[LAUGHS] I wish I was you.
97
00:03:48,386 --> 00:03:50,795
See you later, DJ Stupid Mustache.
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[SIGHS] Okily-dokily.
99
00:03:53,391 --> 00:03:55,208
[FLANDERS' VOICE] ♪ Okily-dokily,
Okily-dokily ♪
100
00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:56,968
♪ Did-diddly down, did-did-did... ♪
101
00:03:57,045 --> 00:03:59,446
[CHEERING]
102
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♪ Cheese mansion ♪
103
00:04:01,566 --> 00:04:04,284
♪ Mansion made of cheese. ♪
104
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,555
What you got there, Flanders?
105
00:04:08,557 --> 00:04:10,740
Well, sir, it occurred to me that, uh,
106
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,650
if I'm a little, uh, [CHUCKLES]
107
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inconvenienced by Bart's
musical endeavors,
108
00:04:15,063 --> 00:04:17,513
it's, uh,
really up to me to find a solution.
109
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:20,800
So I went out and purchased
three pairs of these good boys.
110
00:04:20,876 --> 00:04:23,043
Noice-canceling headphones, eh?
111
00:04:23,121 --> 00:04:24,878
Man, I've always wanted to try those.
112
00:04:24,956 --> 00:04:26,789
Mind if I take them out for a test spin?
113
00:04:26,791 --> 00:04:28,232
Well, actually, I...
114
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Thanks, neighbor.
115
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Hello there, Mrs. McCormick.
116
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Dark times shall come
to Evergreen Terrace
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before the year is out.
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[LAUGHS] Oh, Mrs. McCormick,
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I do so enjoy your dire portents.
120
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[HUMMING]
121
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[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
122
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♪
123
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Oh, this beat's getting pretty big.
124
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Maybe I'll drop it soon.
125
00:04:57,746 --> 00:04:59,989
Or maybe I won't.
126
00:04:59,991 --> 00:05:02,082
For God's sake, drop it, Bartholomieux!
127
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,252
The tension, while delicious,
is unbearable!
128
00:05:05,330 --> 00:05:07,230
♪
129
00:05:09,334 --> 00:05:10,850
[YELPING]
130
00:05:10,926 --> 00:05:12,852
[CHUCKLES, GRUNTS]
131
00:05:12,928 --> 00:05:15,029
[MUSIC PLAYING QUIETLY]
132
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[MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]
133
00:05:21,512 --> 00:05:25,623
Daddy, this noise
unto the Lord isn't joyful.
134
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:29,185
[BABBLING GIBBERISH]
135
00:05:29,187 --> 00:05:31,129
♪
136
00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:37,635
[MUSIC PLAYING QUIETLY]
137
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,378
[MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]
138
00:05:39,455 --> 00:05:41,046
[MUSIC PLAYING QUIETLY]
139
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,789
[MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]
140
00:05:42,867 --> 00:05:44,458
[MUSIC PLAYING QUIETLY]
141
00:05:44,535 --> 00:05:46,936
[MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]
142
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[ALL GASPING]
143
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♪
144
00:06:01,909 --> 00:06:03,995
Bart, what happened?
145
00:06:04,071 --> 00:06:07,498
The beat, I waited too long to drop it.
146
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,650
It was like a tiger in a cage,
147
00:06:09,727 --> 00:06:12,228
and I just kept taunting it.
148
00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,820
[CRYING]
149
00:06:13,898 --> 00:06:16,399
Yates was right: "Things fall apart.
150
00:06:16,401 --> 00:06:18,083
The center cannot hold."
151
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,069
And when he wrote that in 1918,
152
00:06:20,071 --> 00:06:22,405
they didn't even have DJs.
153
00:06:22,407 --> 00:06:23,830
I'm sorry, Dad,
154
00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:26,517
but I'm out of the DJ game.
155
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,910
But what about my mansion?
156
00:06:27,912 --> 00:06:30,188
I've already started
interviewing butlers.
157
00:06:30,339 --> 00:06:32,857
I used to think DJs
were overpaid frauds,
158
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:36,101
but I now know they require
the nerves of a surgeon
159
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:38,087
and the rare gift of turning music
160
00:06:38,089 --> 00:06:40,256
into faster, louder music.
161
00:06:40,258 --> 00:06:42,992
If anything, they aren't paid enough.
162
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:47,371
Sorry, guys.
163
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,948
You can all go home.
164
00:06:49,024 --> 00:06:50,857
- Right, very good, sir.
- As you wish, sir.
165
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,901
It's been an honor, sir.
166
00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:57,623
I'm just glad we were able to
sleep through your big explode-o
167
00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:01,719
thanks to those noise-canceling
headphones your father bought.
168
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,721
Oh, actually, I didn't buy them.
169
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,890
I-I kind of borrowed them from Flanders.
170
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,300
So Ned and his boys
had to spend the night
171
00:07:08,377 --> 00:07:10,377
enduring that... no offense, Bart...
172
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racket?!
173
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Homer Simpson,
you return those headphones
174
00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:16,792
and apologize immediately.
175
00:07:16,794 --> 00:07:18,218
Fine. [SCOFFS]
176
00:07:18,296 --> 00:07:20,363
The things I do for this family.
177
00:07:21,966 --> 00:07:23,466
Oh, hey, Flanders.
178
00:07:23,468 --> 00:07:25,150
I was just bringing back
your headphones.
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00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:27,227
Oh, you don't look so good.
180
00:07:27,305 --> 00:07:29,747
Did you get beat up at the circus?
181
00:07:29,898 --> 00:07:32,250
Homer, this sweater is the one thing
182
00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:34,585
you've never, ever borrowed from me.
183
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,495
So I'm giving it to you now.
184
00:07:36,572 --> 00:07:37,646
[HEADPHONES CLATTER]
185
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,906
Hmm. Hmm-hmm.
186
00:07:39,984 --> 00:07:42,426
Ah, it's a little small.
187
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,078
Now that I've literally given
you the shirt off my back,
188
00:07:45,156 --> 00:07:49,433
you and I will never have any
reason to interact ever again.
189
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:55,231
In fact, these are the last
words I'll ever say to you.
190
00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:59,184
Oh, I've never seen Ned that upset.
191
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:02,280
Ned Flanders is never
going to speak to me again?
192
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:05,616
Ever? I guess I only have two words.
193
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,267
Woo-hoo!
194
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:09,011
[THUNDER CRASHES]
195
00:08:09,013 --> 00:08:11,514
The dark times have begun.
196
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:16,485
Some days I wish Mrs.
McCormick had never moved here.
197
00:08:16,487 --> 00:08:18,462
♪
198
00:08:23,827 --> 00:08:25,546
So, Flanders thinks he'll never speak
199
00:08:25,591 --> 00:08:27,131
another word to me again, eh?
200
00:08:27,176 --> 00:08:29,698
Well, I say woo-hoo.
201
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:30,808
Have I said woo-hoo yet?
202
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,436
You have, Homer.
203
00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:36,129
Well, it bears repeating.
204
00:08:36,207 --> 00:08:38,649
I mean, does he think
I enjoy talking to him?
205
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:40,543
Because I don't.
206
00:08:40,545 --> 00:08:42,028
[MARGE GROANS]
207
00:08:44,048 --> 00:08:45,397
You're right, if anything,
208
00:08:45,474 --> 00:08:48,050
it should be me that never
says another word to him.
209
00:08:48,052 --> 00:08:51,387
In fact, do you know
who the real victim is?
210
00:08:51,389 --> 00:08:52,571
Is it you?
211
00:08:52,648 --> 00:08:53,706
Bingo.
212
00:08:55,226 --> 00:08:57,409
However, if Flanders thinks
that by not talking to me,
213
00:08:57,486 --> 00:08:59,578
he [LAUGHS] wins,
214
00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:01,154
I cannot allow that to happen.
215
00:09:01,232 --> 00:09:05,234
By this time tomorrow,
he'll be talking my ear off.
216
00:09:05,236 --> 00:09:06,552
Great plan.
217
00:09:07,663 --> 00:09:08,904
[HOMER] It is a great plan,
218
00:09:08,906 --> 00:09:10,431
and I'll tell you why.
219
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:12,741
I'm asleep, aren't I?
220
00:09:12,743 --> 00:09:14,143
Yes.
221
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,021
[DOORBELL RINGS]
222
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,581
Listen up, Flanders, we need to talk
223
00:09:18,583 --> 00:09:21,508
about this so-called
"vow of silence" of yours.
224
00:09:21,586 --> 00:09:23,027
You go first.
225
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:25,345
[WHIMPERS]
226
00:09:25,423 --> 00:09:28,924
I've never seen my
daddy so angry before.
227
00:09:28,926 --> 00:09:30,350
It's like a bad movie.
228
00:09:30,428 --> 00:09:32,370
Have you ever seen a movie, Todd?
229
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,113
No. What happens?
230
00:09:34,189 --> 00:09:36,432
- A lot of stuff.
- Neat!
231
00:09:36,434 --> 00:09:39,785
Oh, my dad has done so many
bad things to your dad,
232
00:09:39,862 --> 00:09:42,121
and I think your dad
has finally had enough.
233
00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:44,773
I really don't think
this is gonna blow over.
234
00:09:44,775 --> 00:09:46,384
- [LEAF BLOWER BUZZING]
- [HOMER] Oh, my God.
235
00:09:46,535 --> 00:09:47,943
Look what's blowing over.
236
00:09:47,945 --> 00:09:49,795
Leaves from my tree.
237
00:09:49,872 --> 00:09:51,538
And they're going into Flanders' yard.
238
00:09:51,616 --> 00:09:54,133
Neighbors fight over this
kind of thing all the time,
239
00:09:54,285 --> 00:09:57,786
so I bet you have something
to say to me about it.
240
00:09:57,788 --> 00:09:58,954
Oh, come on, Flanders.
241
00:09:58,956 --> 00:10:00,305
Yell or something.
242
00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:01,790
Put me in my place.
243
00:10:01,792 --> 00:10:02,716
- [YELLS]
- [THUDS]
244
00:10:02,793 --> 00:10:04,143
[GROANING]
245
00:10:04,219 --> 00:10:07,646
Should we help your dad or
wait till he stops twitching?
246
00:10:07,723 --> 00:10:10,074
I find it's best to wait.
247
00:10:10,493 --> 00:10:12,460
_
248
00:10:14,805 --> 00:10:16,989
Sir, I'm about to make your day.
249
00:10:17,065 --> 00:10:19,308
I just need a full oral presentation
250
00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:21,919
on all of your left-handed wares.
251
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,254
Spoken, please.
252
00:10:26,909 --> 00:10:28,742
Left-handed apple peeler.
253
00:10:28,819 --> 00:10:30,410
Left-handed chip clip.
254
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,837
Left-handed belt buckle.
255
00:10:31,914 --> 00:10:33,489
Big Book of Left-Handed Compliments.
256
00:10:33,491 --> 00:10:34,492
Hmm.
257
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,623
_
258
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:39,578
[GASPS]
259
00:10:40,876 --> 00:10:42,079
_
260
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,190
[SIGHS]
261
00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:48,003
[HOMER GASPS]
262
00:10:48,005 --> 00:10:51,356
Oh, I should've known
he'd have a backup Savior.
263
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,325
[HIP-HOP BEAT PLAYING]
264
00:10:53,326 --> 00:10:55,169
_
265
00:10:55,346 --> 00:10:57,680
All the ladies in the house, go, "Hey!"
266
00:10:57,682 --> 00:10:58,847
[WOMEN] Hey!
267
00:10:58,849 --> 00:11:01,533
All the fellas in the house, go, "Whoo!"
268
00:11:01,610 --> 00:11:02,851
[MEN] Whoo!
269
00:11:02,853 --> 00:11:05,963
All the Flanders in the house,
say anything!
270
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:10,192
Everybody in the house,
give me a second.
271
00:11:10,194 --> 00:11:11,694
- [WHIMPERS]
- [BEAT STOPS PLAYING]
272
00:11:11,696 --> 00:11:13,545
[CROWD MURMURING]
273
00:11:13,622 --> 00:11:15,181
[GROANS]
274
00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:21,553
[SIGHS] Oh, boy.
275
00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:22,721
[DOORBELL RINGS]
276
00:11:22,798 --> 00:11:23,981
Hiya, Marge.
277
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,874
To what do I owe my guest appearance
278
00:11:25,876 --> 00:11:27,392
in your blessed day?
279
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:30,988
Actually, Ned,
I was wondering if you and I could maybe
280
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:34,550
discuss this situation
between you and Homer.
281
00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:35,642
Of course we could.
282
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:36,994
Come on in.
283
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,831
♪
284
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,908
[NO AUDIO] _
285
00:11:42,985 --> 00:11:44,793
[HOMER WHIMPERING]
286
00:11:46,322 --> 00:11:48,538
_
287
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,826
So? So? Did he talk about me?
288
00:11:52,903 --> 00:11:54,494
He sure did.
289
00:11:54,572 --> 00:11:56,588
[SIGHS] I got to say, Homer,
290
00:11:56,665 --> 00:11:57,998
if I weren't married to you,
291
00:11:58,075 --> 00:12:00,684
I probably wouldn't talk to you, either.
292
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,245
Oh, I can't take this anymore.
293
00:12:03,247 --> 00:12:05,005
I thought Flanders not talking to me
294
00:12:05,082 --> 00:12:06,357
would be a magical Mardi Gras,
295
00:12:06,433 --> 00:12:09,251
but instead it's been
a never-ending Lent.
296
00:12:09,253 --> 00:12:11,028
[CRYING]
297
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,105
Lent!
298
00:12:13,181 --> 00:12:15,257
Then why not do the one
thing you haven't done?
299
00:12:15,259 --> 00:12:16,925
Apologize.
300
00:12:16,927 --> 00:12:17,927
That's it.
301
00:12:17,928 --> 00:12:19,444
I'll write him an apology.
302
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,956
♪
303
00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:47,213
Hmm, mm-hmm.
304
00:12:47,291 --> 00:12:48,924
Mm-hmm.
305
00:12:48,926 --> 00:12:51,202
Actually, Dad, it's good.
306
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:52,352
Really good.
307
00:12:52,429 --> 00:12:55,688
I had no idea you had such
depths of feeling in you.
308
00:12:55,766 --> 00:12:57,432
I mean, wow.
309
00:12:57,434 --> 00:12:59,359
You did quote the movie Point Break
310
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,527
more than I expected, but I really think
311
00:13:01,605 --> 00:13:03,939
Mr. Flanders may finally forgive you.
312
00:13:03,941 --> 00:13:05,457
I hope you're right.
313
00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:08,218
I bared my whole soul in this letter,
and it feels amazing.
314
00:13:08,295 --> 00:13:11,805
Writers must be the happiest
people in the world.
315
00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,601
Knock 'em dead, Dad.
316
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:19,104
[HUMMING]
317
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:21,547
[CHUCKLES]
318
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:24,526
[CLATTERING]
319
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,145
Aah, we've been burgled!
320
00:13:27,297 --> 00:13:30,365
[MACHINE BUZZING]
321
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:36,371
That's our stuff! What are you doing?
322
00:13:39,826 --> 00:13:42,920
You have to tell me why
you're destroying my stuff!
323
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:46,498
It's my stuff, you imbecile.
324
00:13:46,574 --> 00:13:49,484
I'm reclaiming everything
you've ever borrowed from me
325
00:13:49,486 --> 00:13:51,987
and destroying it so you
can never borrow it again.
326
00:13:51,989 --> 00:13:54,431
That includes the lock
on your front door.
327
00:13:55,842 --> 00:13:57,917
But what about my apology?
328
00:13:57,995 --> 00:14:00,178
Homer, your apology was beautiful,
329
00:14:00,255 --> 00:14:02,422
heartfelt and enraging!
330
00:14:02,499 --> 00:14:03,665
Huh?
331
00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:05,500
You know,
I gave you a pass all these years
332
00:14:05,502 --> 00:14:07,760
'cause I thought you were
just too dumb to know better,
333
00:14:07,838 --> 00:14:10,355
but this eloquent plea for forgiveness
334
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:14,160
shows you're a thinking,
feeling human being,
335
00:14:14,195 --> 00:14:16,328
and you did that stuff to me anyway!
336
00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:18,622
[GASPS] My couch!
337
00:14:18,699 --> 00:14:21,124
The one thing in this
world I truly love.
338
00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:22,608
It's my couch.
339
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:25,520
You borrowed it from me
the very first day we met.
340
00:14:25,522 --> 00:14:29,174
[SCREAMS] I've got to get over
there and stop this madness!
341
00:14:32,212 --> 00:14:34,471
[TIRES SCREECH]
342
00:14:34,548 --> 00:14:36,531
Gone to Flanders' to save couch.
343
00:14:36,533 --> 00:14:38,308
Home for dinner.
344
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:41,228
[GASPS] My car.
345
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,705
You killed my car!
346
00:14:43,707 --> 00:14:45,040
Okay, mister,
347
00:14:45,042 --> 00:14:46,858
I'll kill your car.
348
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:50,895
[TIRES SCREECH]
349
00:14:50,972 --> 00:14:52,155
[YELPS, GRUNTS]
350
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:57,828
Car fight!
351
00:14:57,904 --> 00:15:00,222
[ALL CHANTING] Car fight! Car fight!
352
00:15:00,224 --> 00:15:02,165
Car fight!
353
00:15:04,061 --> 00:15:05,651
[ENGINES REVVING]
354
00:15:05,729 --> 00:15:07,337
[GRUNTS ANGRILY]
355
00:15:11,993 --> 00:15:14,094
[BOTH GROANING WOOZILY]
356
00:15:21,745 --> 00:15:23,437
I don't want to hear it.
357
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,380
- [GAVEL BANGING]
- What do you two chuckleheads
358
00:15:33,456 --> 00:15:34,847
have to say for yourselves?
359
00:15:34,925 --> 00:15:36,349
I hate him more than Joab
360
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:38,351
hated Abner in the Book of Samuel.
361
00:15:38,428 --> 00:15:40,353
I hate him more than Tennessee Tuxedo
362
00:15:40,430 --> 00:15:42,614
hated the tedium of his life in the zoo.
363
00:15:42,766 --> 00:15:44,449
- I don't know what to say to you.
- Oh, yeah?
364
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:47,102
Well, Chumley the Walrus
has a lot more to say
365
00:15:47,104 --> 00:15:49,362
- about this situation...
- [GAVEL BANGING]
366
00:15:49,439 --> 00:15:51,531
I have never seen two people
with such a bitter hatred
367
00:15:51,608 --> 00:15:54,943
for each other outside of
happily married couples.
368
00:15:54,945 --> 00:15:57,370
Hmm, well, that gives me an
idea for one of my folksy,
369
00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:59,781
movie premise-like judgments.
370
00:15:59,783 --> 00:16:02,708
Instead of jail,
I sentence the two of you
371
00:16:02,786 --> 00:16:05,287
to 100 hours of couples counseling.
372
00:16:05,289 --> 00:16:07,064
- [GALLERY GASPS]
- D'oh!
373
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:09,291
Permission to use profanity, Your Honor?
374
00:16:09,293 --> 00:16:10,642
I'll allow it.
375
00:16:10,718 --> 00:16:11,902
Marmalade milkshake!
376
00:16:11,978 --> 00:16:13,695
[GALLERY GASPS]
377
00:16:14,122 --> 00:16:16,177
_
378
00:16:17,171 --> 00:16:18,650
Look, I need you both to know
379
00:16:18,726 --> 00:16:21,227
that this isn't gonna
be an overnight fix.
380
00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:24,472
It could take years of intensive,
soul-baring...
381
00:16:24,474 --> 00:16:27,826
Could you please stop flicking
each other in the eyeballs?
382
00:16:27,902 --> 00:16:30,295
[BOTH GROANING]
383
00:16:32,407 --> 00:16:34,240
All right,
that does it for talk therapy.
384
00:16:34,318 --> 00:16:35,926
Luckily, there are drugs.
385
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:38,153
- I don't do drugs.
- I'll have his.
386
00:16:38,155 --> 00:16:40,430
There have been amazing
advances in the use
387
00:16:40,507 --> 00:16:43,658
of therapeutic psychedelics
for dysfunctional couples.
388
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:46,717
U-completamine will take
you on a shared journey
389
00:16:46,752 --> 00:16:48,087
that could help resolve your conflict,
390
00:16:48,165 --> 00:16:50,756
with only a slight risk of
permanent brain explosion,
391
00:16:50,758 --> 00:16:52,109
or "PBE."
392
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:54,002
I'll happily blow up both our brains
393
00:16:54,004 --> 00:16:57,430
if there's the slightest chance
of making Ned suck less.
394
00:16:57,507 --> 00:17:00,266
[SIGHS] I can't live
with this anger anymore.
395
00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:02,360
- Let's just do it.
- [YELPS IN PAIN]
396
00:17:03,343 --> 00:17:06,181
[ANNETTE] The drug is now slowly
entering your bloodstream.
397
00:17:06,183 --> 00:17:07,866
Just relax and remember...
398
00:17:07,942 --> 00:17:09,275
if you see a door, open it.
399
00:17:09,353 --> 00:17:10,794
If you see a road, follow it.
400
00:17:10,871 --> 00:17:12,370
And most importantly...
401
00:17:12,447 --> 00:17:16,858
[DISTORTED, ECHOING]
we don't take insurance.
402
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:18,860
[ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
403
00:17:18,862 --> 00:17:19,863
I'm scared.
404
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,098
- Where are we going?
- I don't dang-diddly know.
405
00:17:24,082 --> 00:17:26,025
Soul sensors activate.
406
00:17:26,102 --> 00:17:28,269
How many of you beautiful
mutants are ready
407
00:17:28,345 --> 00:17:31,422
to drop some serious repressed emotions?
408
00:17:31,424 --> 00:17:33,991
[CROWD CHEERING]
409
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,539
[HOMER SCREAMS] What
the hell is going on?
410
00:17:39,615 --> 00:17:41,249
[FLANDERS] We're cartoons.
411
00:17:46,122 --> 00:17:47,605
[SCREAMS] Garfunkel!
412
00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:48,840
Turtlenecks!
413
00:17:56,183 --> 00:17:58,683
Good grief!
414
00:17:59,894 --> 00:18:02,470
Why did we turn into
all those famous duos?
415
00:18:02,546 --> 00:18:03,637
Famous?
416
00:18:03,714 --> 00:18:05,398
I didn't recognize any of them.
417
00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:09,110
[BOTH GASPING, WHIMPERING]
418
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:13,597
[FLANDERS] Now we have
no corporeal form!
419
00:18:13,649 --> 00:18:15,825
[HOMER] Nice going, Flanders.
420
00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:20,747
♪
421
00:18:20,823 --> 00:18:23,332
- [ALL YELLING]
- [ELEPHANT TRUMPETING]
422
00:18:27,756 --> 00:18:29,380
[BIRD SCREECHES]
423
00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:32,341
[DRAGON ROARS]
424
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:41,416
Everyone's dead.
425
00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:45,254
Which means no one's
defending your brain castle.
426
00:18:45,331 --> 00:18:46,606
[PAINED WHIMPER]
427
00:18:46,682 --> 00:18:49,942
♪
428
00:18:50,945 --> 00:18:51,947
[GASPS]
429
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:55,840
Flanders' head is full of me.
430
00:18:55,842 --> 00:18:59,202
Homer has a shrine to me?
431
00:19:02,439 --> 00:19:04,682
[BOTH] I think I get it now.
432
00:19:04,684 --> 00:19:07,018
I see how happy and successful you are,
433
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,944
so I think I'm not worthy of you.
434
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:12,298
I treat you terribly out
of my own insecurity.
435
00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:16,360
Also because you've got awesome
stuff and I like taking it.
436
00:19:16,362 --> 00:19:19,030
And I wish I could savor
life half as much as you do.
437
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:23,142
But what I truly love is
feeling morally superior to you.
438
00:19:23,177 --> 00:19:26,203
That's why I accept and even
encourage your worst behavior.
439
00:19:26,205 --> 00:19:28,297
Like how you're scratching your butt
440
00:19:28,374 --> 00:19:29,557
with that statue of me.
441
00:19:29,633 --> 00:19:31,300
[GRUNTING]
442
00:19:31,302 --> 00:19:32,819
What? It's pointy.
443
00:19:32,895 --> 00:19:37,731
So I-I guess what we really
want is the status quo.
444
00:19:37,808 --> 00:19:39,975
Status whoa!
445
00:19:39,977 --> 00:19:42,887
Another U-completamine breakthrough.
446
00:19:42,889 --> 00:19:45,222
Well, how is it possible
we had the exact same
447
00:19:45,224 --> 00:19:46,907
psychedelic sleigh ride?
448
00:19:46,984 --> 00:19:48,726
And why are you a part of it?
449
00:19:48,728 --> 00:19:49,836
I couldn't tell you.
450
00:19:49,912 --> 00:19:51,987
No one has any idea
how these drugs work.
451
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,339
Bye!
452
00:19:53,416 --> 00:19:55,049
♪
453
00:19:58,738 --> 00:20:00,930
Well, Homer, any thoughts?
454
00:20:02,742 --> 00:20:06,260
- [FLANDERS SOBBING]
- [CRYING] Oh, Flanders!
455
00:20:06,337 --> 00:20:08,271
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
456
00:20:12,861 --> 00:20:14,935
[FLANDERS] Homer,
did you take my paper again?
457
00:20:15,012 --> 00:20:17,438
No. Why would you say that?
458
00:20:17,514 --> 00:20:19,014
Because you're holding it.
459
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:21,425
Florida has a hockey team?
460
00:20:21,427 --> 00:20:23,202
[SIGHS] You know what, Homer?
461
00:20:23,279 --> 00:20:24,945
Okily-dokily.
462
00:20:25,022 --> 00:20:29,041
Ned, I got something for you.
463
00:20:29,118 --> 00:20:31,602
My sweater.
464
00:20:31,604 --> 00:20:32,937
Thanks, neighborino.
465
00:20:32,939 --> 00:20:36,107
You're welcome, stupid Flanders.
466
00:20:53,541 --> 00:20:57,128
♪ See my vest ♪
467
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,647
♪ See my vest, see my vest ♪
468
00:20:59,723 --> 00:21:01,056
That was Marge, bitch!
469
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:02,967
♪ Who controls the British crown? ♪
470
00:21:02,969 --> 00:21:05,244
♪ Who keeps
the metric system down? ♪
471
00:21:05,321 --> 00:21:07,396
♪ The name's Poochie D,
and I rock the telly ♪
472
00:21:07,473 --> 00:21:09,564
♪ I'm half Joe Camel
and a third Fonzarelli ♪
473
00:21:09,642 --> 00:21:11,751
♪ He can talk, he can talk,
he can talk, he can talk ♪
474
00:21:11,827 --> 00:21:14,161
- ♪ I can sing ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, Dr. Zaius ♪
475
00:21:14,238 --> 00:21:16,422
- ♪ What'd I say? ♪
- ♪ Do the Bartman ♪
476
00:21:16,499 --> 00:21:18,240
- ♪ What's it called? ♪
- ♪ The Bartman ♪
477
00:21:18,317 --> 00:21:20,075
♪ 'Cause everyone is
horrid except me ♪
478
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:21,986
- ♪ And possibly... ♪
- Hit it!
479
00:21:21,988 --> 00:21:24,246
- ♪ Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius ♪
- ♪ Brain freeze ♪
480
00:21:24,323 --> 00:21:25,990
♪ Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius ♪
481
00:21:25,992 --> 00:21:28,634
♪ Shaving my shoulders ♪
482
00:21:28,711 --> 00:21:31,354
♪ That name again is Mr. Plow. ♪
483
00:21:33,545 --> 00:21:34,982
Shh!
484
00:21:37,549 --> 00:21:40,517
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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