Original subtitles

"Beautiful dark-haired lady, from the moment I met you,"

"your sweet and attractive person has shot an arrow through my heart."

"I was leading a lonely life,"

"when you, the ideal being, came into my life."

"You are my first true love, bringer of either good luck or unhappiness."

"l love you like crazy. I miss you all day and I cry all night, in my sleep."

"Calm down, my desperate one."

"My financial situation is blooming and I have no vice whatsoever,"

"therefore, I ask you to be my life partner."

"You choose a date for the engagement.”

TONIGHT WE'LL DANCE AT HOME

Date: July 10-15, 1971. Place: Gasca din Deal.

Name and forename: Florentina Crudu. Age: 24. Occupation: teacher.

- Description? - Naturally dark-haired. Maybe dyed.

Sincere housewife.

- Relationship status? - Divorced.

- Financial situation? - About 14.000 in savings.

Profit?

3.600 advance money for wedding expenses.

Loss?

One 400 lei engagement ring and 200 lei travel expenses.

- What did you think of her, boss? - She's interesting.

- With repetition? - No.

- Bitte. - Danke.

Get out of the compartment! Please!

You've smoked us like sausages.

May I occupy a modest place

in this space that has the pleasure of having you here in these moments?

You've made me jump out of my skin, mister. Please do.

Thank you.

Life is very good with me. I'm a sincere and tireless admirer.

As I have noticed, you follow me everywhere.

Yes, but not on purpose. A coffee, please!

Beer, something sweet?

- No, thanks. - No.

Do you remember our first casual encounters, like this one?

- The Athenaeum, "Opus 5" by... - Wagner.

Right. I sat next to you and stared at you for two hours and five minutes.

Then, we smiled at each other at the Apollo gallery

at a showing of Piliuta's paintings.

One week later, I happened to be there at the moment I had to defend you,

with my modest physical abilities, from those hooligans in Piata Romana.

- I thanked you for that right away. - But that was all.

Then, there was that evening when I made that confession.

What confession?

I was saying, and I quote: "I am in love with you".

Yes...

Just now, as I was thinking of you, you appeared in front of me

simple, human, doing crossword puzzles.

There is a God of lovers...

But tell me, what do you want from me?

So little. Tell me who you are, what you want, where you are going.

And I want to confess that I'm obsessed with you.

Mister, don't play with words like that.

Miss, it's been months...

It's been months since I last smiled and laughed.

Especially since you changed your address and I couldn't find you anymore.

It was horrible.

My God, life is so hard when you can't laugh!

Thank you.

Are you still traveling with your nice brother?

Yes. This time, I've organized a trip for him.

I want him to know people, life, the country, its accomplishments

and other things.

What time is it?

I'm done with you! I have a job, I can raise my child.

- I'm sorry! - I wont' forgive you any more.

- I'm getting a divorce! - Are you insane?

- Could you help me, please? - My pleasure.

- The kid stays with me! He's mine! - Let go of the kid!

I won't let you!

He treats a mother and a child so violently I What a brute!

Look at that...

Stela, the train is leaving! What am I going to do alone?

Stela!

I'm not a fortune teller, but what I see here is wonderful.

I'm sorry, I may seem insolent, but I have no choice.

A great adventure awaits you. A sentimental one.

- There's a long and happy journey. - Oh, my! And I had resigned.

- Will I be happy? - With a man of diamonds.

- Are you married? - What does the coffee say?

Well, it's...

- So, a man with... ll mean, of diamonds. - Boss... Hello.

Excuse me.

- Miss... - Yes?

I'm sorry, something urgent came up and I have to leave you.

I hope we will meet again in Bucharest, where I might offer you my devotion.

Good bye. Let's go.

I always come across this woman, who gives me an inferiority complex.

I found out her new address. I forgot to tell her something.

We have an emergency in our compartment.

What is it?

29 years old, natural redhead, very jealous,

in conflict with a drunkard and unfaithful husband, who has hit me.

- She wants a divorce and revenge. - Perfect. We will provide both.

Cold beer, sausages, pies, orange juice...

We have the pleasure to be in the presence

of the great master of the bar, Temistocle T. Temistocle.

- Stela. - A pleasure.

Alecu. I'm the master's assistant.

Cover his mouth...

- You have a very nice kid. - Do you like kids?

Very much. Unfortunately...

If you don't have any, don't wish for them. Mine is so bad...

All kids are like that nowadays.

As an English scientist said, this is an asthenic generation.

It's because of all the plastic and electricity.

He has an intelligent, meditative look. Does he take after his father?

It's OK, madam. We all suffer and we shouldn't be ashamed of it.

He who suffers is alive. Do you have problems with your husband?

I came to visit him in the field and I caught him with a...

Say no more. I understand and I honestly feel for you.

I've just won a divorce lawsuit for my client,

using the following idea in my plea:

only a man who respects the woman can be free and dignified.

It is incredible how much men lie.

My client caught her husband, with whom she had 14...

- Children? - No, years of marriage.

- With her best friend. - So did I. But not with a friend.

- Were there any witnesses? - No.

- Does he have any vices? - What?

Does he drink?

He used to come home drunk every night.

And what do you think he had me do? He had me cook him onion omelet.

- What? - Onion omelet.

He would slam the door and shout: "Is my omelet ready?"

I can't live like that any more.

I shouldn't give you any advice, but a woman like yourself,

young, beautiful, educated, shouldn't throw away her life

for some onion omelet.

That's why I've decided to get a divorce.

- We never know. - What do you mean?

It all depends on the lawyer.

Could you, by any chance, take care of this matter?

I don't know... Maybe I could postpone...

Yes, boss, that lawsuit for attempted kidnapping.

Yes. It's not so urgent. Then, I might help you.

- Thank you. - You have such a handsome kid!

He looks just like a portrait by Botticelli.

- By who? - Renaissance. It's a movement...

- It's a terrible draft! - Close the window!

He has tonsilitis.

Take the little angel.

Please, help yourselves. I'm sorry, I was not prepared.

You shouldn't have gone through all this trouble.

Well, a guest is a guest.

Mr. Alecu, Mr. Alecu, is shaving the sheep and the ram.

Eat another sandwich, then take the kid to the other room.

I need to speak to his mother. Tonight, we'll dance at home.

- Where is... - With the kid, in the other room.

You're an excellent host.

Now, let's talk business. Would you turn off the music, please?

Tomorrow we file for divorce.

You will write an application,

to which we will attach a receipt for 3.000 lei.

It's the lawyer's fee. You don't have to pay.

I will plead for you for free, as I sincerely feel for you.

Thank you, you're very kind.

And so the story ends.

- What about the dragon? - He kicked the bucket.

You're adorable and so natural, like a star in the blue sky.

You fascinate me.

Little Stela, I'm convinced beyond any doubt

that I would be happy with you, that...

My dear, I need a woman who knows how to appreciate a serious relationship.

I don't mind if she has a child,

even from a relationship with another man.

On the contrary.

I don't know what to say.

I've always wanted to have an intelligent man beside me.

- Cultivated, well-mannered... - Thank you.

I can only promise that I will make you...

...that I will make you happy.

Listen...

- The record... - It's in the suitcase.

Listen... Sleep well.

My dear Stela...

My love...

Stela, I'd like to ask you something.

What is this? Let's throw away the past!

- You will start a new life. - You think so?

- Of course. - You have the engagement ring ready?

- I knew I'd meet you at some point. - Really?

- Who is it? - Who?

- Whois it? - It's me, Stela, open up!

- The brute is here. - Don't open.

Tell him you have filed for divorce.

What do you want, mister? I don't know you!

- Stela, open up, please! - You're not wanted here any more!

- Open up, please! - Go to your underage girls!

- Well? - Tell him you don't belong to him.

Stela, open up!

Go!

Go away! I don't belong to you!

Open up or somebody will get killed!

- The beast is here! - The beast!

Let me pick up my life with a man who's nice, intelligent, polite, a lawyer

and... where is he?

Pick up your life? I'll teach you!

- You're here. We're safe. - You took the kid as a souvenir? Idiot!

- He's stuck to me... - Take him away!

Sorry, I'll take him back.

- Mister, what are we doing outside? - We're playing hide and seek.

Let's change your position.

Be careful.

What did he do with the woman? Did he kill her?

Yes. While he was cutting her, I left the kid,

took the record and the guitar and I took off.

- What, boss? - Why do you expose yourself?

Turn on the light. You should have left them.

What if we got into trouble?

Well done, boss, hitting a working man...

Dictez-vous, cher maitre! I'm ready.

July 15th, current year. In the train. Stela.

Stela...

- What else? - What do you mean?

- The profit. - 3.000 in cash.

3.000? That's fantastic, boss.

Extract the expenses: 10 lei for the beer and the sweets,

15 lei for the taxi, 400 lei for the engagement ring.

No, I've recovered it. I caught it in mid-air.

Well done! I'm not sorry for investing money in you.

Thank you.

Boss, since you've just said that wonderful word, "money",

how much did we gain today?

Let's see: 3.600 from the brunette, 3.000 from the redhead,

minus expenses... 5.975 lei.

5.975? In one day?

Boss, that's excellent! Fantastic! Let me congratulate you.

I can honestly say you're the biggest crook I've ever met.

Listen...

Although you haven't said that word very respectfully,

I'm not mad at you.

But the secret of my job, of our job, the art of our job,

because it is an art,

consists in the sophistication, distinction and elegance

with which we treat our partner.

You're right. I say it without false modesty.

I'm a master in this domain,

a unique case among our colleagues, who work in primitive ways.

I don't get it.

I'm the only one who works in European style. That's it.

- Boss, you forgot. - The prayer?

- No. My share. - What share?

Oh! Sure, sure!

Let me take out his tonsils...

975 lei? That's all? Is that how it works?

One gets 5.000 ant the other one, 975?

- Don't start. I will beat you up. - Yeah, beaten up and robbed...

It doesn't work that way any more!

Only 25 lei? Unacceptable! I will tell the police!

Are you taking advantage of me?

Is this a mutiny?

I took you off the streets. You didn't want to work.

I fed you when you were starving.

I taught you this profession and this is the thanks I get?

This is my reward? The police?

How about I tell the authorities about the "innocent" act of a young man,

who has stolen a car and...

Boss! Forgive me, please.

Come, now. Say your prayer and go to sleep.

- You get me upset before sleep. - Sleep well!

- Listen, tomorrow we go to work. - Yes.

Dear listeners, good morning.

With music and good spirit, we begin our physical education lesson.

Stand in front of the open window, lean onto it, hands on the sill,

and start doing genuflexions to the rhythm of the music.

Two beats for flexing the knees and two beats for getting back up.

Keep your back straight, your eyes forward

and breathe deeply during the exercise.

Let's start.

1, 2, 3, 4 1, 2, 3, 4.

Bend your knees, straight up.

Down. Up. Down. Up. One more time.

Last one. And stop.

- Have you seen her? - Do you know the "element" with skirt?

No, but the guy with umbrella and glasses does.

He's starting to bother me.

If I come across him again, I'll hit him. Go cook breakfast. Onion omelet.

Coming!

From the right side, idiot!

I hope you enjoyed it, boss.

You eat in the kitchen.

Read the classifieds and the police announcements.

Classifieds.

Dog lost. Big head, long ears, black back, white belly, short legs.

- His name is Tarzan. - Rubbish. What else?

Tarzan. Oh...

Interior decorator wanted. Zeraida Tulburel, no. 5 Austrului Street.

Hold on!

Single in an apartment. Some unfortunate woman.

- Make a note of that. Continue. - Done.

Associate wanted for casket at the Infratirea cemetery.

Not interested. What else?

- Stag antlers for sale. - We all have them. What else?

Unused bride's dress for sale.

Bee swarms for sale. Ball bearings, pegs and clothes line for sale...

Stop! Check the police announcements.

Inspectorate of Bucharest Police, right?

During the evening of... whatever, a 20-25 year-old tall, blonde male

approached a young woman in the lobby of the Cobza cinema.

During the movie, the young man ran off with the young lady's purse,

where the movie enthusiast kept her papers and money.

A small-timer, like in the movies. Go on.

Does that mean we are...

Listen, boy! You're making me angry with your way of seeing things.

We are not what someone might be tempted to think.

We have a mission which laymen do not understand.

You should understand it. Get up!

Let's go. We only stay one day in Bucharest.

We need to be efficient.

Alecu, you pay the two visits

and then take a little basket of flowers to Mrs. Suzana Pitulice, on lorga Street.

Tell her I'm not back from Italy vet, but I wish her all the best.

Lest I should forget: pack me a hippy wig, a female wig, mustaches no. 3, 5, 7

and bye-bye!

Got it, professor.

Hello.

- There we go! - I'm ticklish!

- Get out! - That'll teach you!

We're not allowed... to treat people...

Tell the man who sent you to come here as soon as possible.

We'll be happy to see him.

As for you, take this bonus. Crooks!

Lady, please, watch your words. I'm a nervous wreck.

Lady, please, watch your words. I'm a nervous wreck.

Mr. Temistocle, too bad I can't believe your words.

Not only do I not trust men, but I want something else.

An abysmal love. Can you offer me an abysmal love?

Abysmal love? I don't know. I got you another engagement ring.

It's made of solid gold.

The jeweler worked on it for two months.

Your name is engraved on it.

Let me adorn that talented finger and let me assure you you will be happy.

If I had 100 fingers, they wouldn't be enough

for all the engagement rings you've offered me.

- You must own a gold mine. - You are my gold mine.

The lode which might make me the richest man in the world.

- Murano? - Rock crystal. Here you go.

You have the hand of a princess. Let me read your palm.

- There's an entire novel here. - That's all?

Somebody told me it was a trilogy. It means he was exaggerating.

- Are you a writer? - No, an engineer. I build bridges.

- Over rivers? - Yes.

In my spare time, I build bridges between souls.

My soul only wants one bridge. Over nothingness.

- Are you unhappy too? - No. I'm wise.

I've known you for such a long time and I still don't know anything about you.

Total mystery.

Who are you? What do you want? Where are you going?

I'd tell you, but my biography is not yet ready.

I'm still working on it. If you find out anything about me, give me a call.

Lord, why are you punishing us, men?

Why do you give sense of humor and intelligence to women?

Miss, this has been my last visit.

Don't say that. You know you never keep your word.

But tell me something, give me some hope!

I gave away my last one yesterday. You're always too late.

Still, when can I see you again?

When you least expect it.

- What is this? - You mean...

There was a small incident with the lady and the boys.

The lady to whom I was supposed to say hello for you, from ltaly.

That ingrate treated you so badly?

Good thing I was calm, or they would have killed me.

- She said you were a crook. - She what?

She also invited you to come by...

I didn't expect that from Pitulice (wren). Suzana Pitulice, that's her name!

I thought she was a sure victim. I could almost see her in the cage.

They're so strange, these birds... I mean, women.

Failure comes where you least expect it.

- Gherla, Sibiu and Turnu-Severin. - Remove Gherla and Sibiu.

We've had bad luck there. Put in lasi.

Removing Gherla and putting in lasi. It's around here, somewhere.

- Are they "premieres"? - No, "reruns". But they're about to end.

- Are we taking the plane? - Yes, the train.

What? But I've never been on a plane.

On a train, people feel the need to communicate, to be sentimental, to...

Get me my plane.

I mean, get my suitcase.

He wants his suitcase and I've never been on a plane...

He marked Dolhasca instead of lasi...

I was going in the middle of nowhere, you idiot!

- Boss, are we going to a concert? - We're dealing with a delicate person.

Temi! What a pleasant surprise!

I saw you get out of that nice cab and I couldn't believe it was you.

I would have driven my own car, I have a Citroen at the customs,

but I had no money to get it out.

I paid 35.000 lei and I was 5.000 lei short.

For a mere 5.000 lei... Come here, my little vixen!

Why didn't you tell me you were coming.

I didn't know I would come today.

Last night, it was decided

that I would accompany an atom scientist from Grenoble.

Not the eyes, honey! It means separation.

Obscurantism! By the way, how is Bebe?

I can't wait to see him.

As usual, after he cooks, I practice and he walks the dog.

- That's one hell of a husband. - Who's that?

I forgot. My dear, let me introduce you to my best collaborator.

He's got a great future ahead of him. Currently, he's a dispatch bearer.

It's an honor and a pleasure.

Bebe is here!

Bebe!

- Mimi, I want to tell you... - Come here. He's with me.

Alecu A. Alecu.

My dear, take the dog to his room, take off his leash and prepare lunch.

- You're looking for trouble. - I'm hungry...

- How is the weather in Paris? - Nice.

A lot of sun, clean air...

Le Mondesays it's cold.

It was cold for about 20 minutes, then, the sky cleared, it snowed...

By the way, I forgot to ask: how is the weather in Paris?

It's nice, sunny, warm, it's great.

- Le Mondesays it's cold. - Really?

Don't believe the Western press, they're liars.

By the way, how is the weather in Paris?

I'l bite him! What doesLe Mondesay?

- Dearest? - Yes, my love.

Take Mr. Alecu for a walk around the city.

He left when he was a kid, with his parents, who were diplomats,

and he doesn't even know his country.

He doesn't know his country?

I'm going. I was about to go out anyway. I'm starting to put on weight.

Go!

- Mr. Alecu, aren't you going? - Yes.

Good bye!

Darling...

- What's this? - A small gift from the "management".

- 5.000 for the Citroen at the customs. - I cannot accept it!

I really can't!

It's the Citroen which will bring us good luck

during our honeymoon in ltaly.

- Yes, but they're new and so many... - You promised, honey.

Wait...

I cannot stay any longer. I must go. I'm very sorry...

Wait just a minute. Don't go anywhere!

What's this?

I've bought you the only Italian object I found on Orly.

A gondola with a ballerina, honey! There's the plug.

Is it 220 V? Let's not burn the ballerina.

- There... - Darling, it's so nice!

I've seen this "element" before.

Hello! Are you alone? Do you want to come with us?

- Are you coming or staying? - That's not how you do it!

- Listen, I'm going. - I'm coming with you.

No, wait here. You don't need to come.

Especially since she's alone at this hour...

- OK, boss. - Don't go away.

- Boss, no! - What?

Don't turn around. It's bad luck.

If you see a big man come out of a nice car and enter the yard,

throw a pebble at the window towards the street.

Got it. OK, good luck!

- What a surprise! Mr. Temi! - Bonjour, Gherghina!

Hello... Come in.

The lady is not at home. She always keeps her room locked.

- But where is my Gina? - I don't know. There's nobody home.

- Does she leave home often? - Every now and then...

During the night too?

My dear Temi, you're here!

- Sweet and naughty child! - Why didn't you let me know?

I wanted it to be a surprise.

On the Riviera, I was wondering: "Does she or doesn't she love me?"

I've been waiting for this moment for so long.

- Dear Temi... - Yes?

Move that dog.

Amore!

Immoral!

Honey! What?

Oh, my!

- What are you waiting for? - The tramway.

- Temi, forgive him! - Alecu!

Don't cry, it's useless. The romance is over.

- What do I do, boss? - No mercy. Shave him.

- Don't make him so ugly! - Silence!

- What now? The mustache? - No mercy.

- Both on the right and on the left. - But be careful with the nose.

- Is it cold? You want it warm? - Yes.

We'll scald you, bald man!

Get out! Shut up!

Get lost!

Jackass!

You have no shame!

That guy was purified by water. What are you going to do?

I'll give you the engagement ring back.

Stop gnawing at your finger! I'll talk to your father.

- Please, don't! - Get off!

I wanted to see you so badly... You can never trust anyone!

Go to hell!

It's your turn. Smack me.

Boss, that person!

What's he doing?

He's taking photos of Trajan's foot... Bridge!

- While I deal with my father-in-law... - I'm up here.

You follow this guy, see what his deal is.

- How much do you want, mister? - 5.000.

- I gave you 15.000 already. - It's not much, father. Don't worry.

It's the last installment for the seaside villa I have ordered

for little Gina and me.

Think about it. What other engineer would have accepted your girl

after what happened on the Ada Kaleh Island?

Besides, I've just caught her with some jackass.

I should have broken the engagement. But I care about you too much.

You look thinner.

By the way, what's new with food service?

As an assistant manager in a trust,

you should come up with an initiative that might make you famous.

Special restaurants for men, for women, for non-smokers, for vegetarians...

Boarding houses for cats and dogs.

I saw something like that when I was in England, for my training.

Put your subordinates to work. They need ideas.

That's why your customers criticize you.

I was at the Park Hotel restaurant. They had no fresh frogs. Frogs!

What?

What bridges have you been working on?

- Long time no see. - Bridges over souls, kid.

- He took your money, huh? - Mr. Temistocle...

Before I give you the money you have asked for,

I'd like to ask you a few questions you might find uncomfortable.

Listen, big guy, ask me whatever you want. I can answer.

But I don't know if you can answer in case of a lawsuit for illicit income.

You can't tell me that villa, full of expensive furniture,

the car, the concert piano,

they're all from your salary as an assistant-manager.

I will get married whenever I want, but I need to know her character first.

Don't talk to me about the money I asked you to lend me.

I was a compassionate man. An don't try to be mean.

I can be mean too.

You will marry her in a month.

One month, two at most. I need to finish a bridge over Bahlui.

Thanks, daddy. And watch your blood pressure.

Forget the spritzers and the women. You're such a beast!

What did he do?

He drank some beer, he made a long-distance call

and I stole this magazine from his table.

- Conclusions? - A womanizer.

Horrible!

- Where to now? - Iasi. Old romantic center.

Where love is eternal and women trust men.

But first, we make a stop in Bucharest.

- Who are you looking for? - Her.

- She's gone to the seaside. - With whom?

- With him. - Oh... Which "him"?

I am "him"! Or is there another one?

I honestly didn't expect it.

Boss, I've never seen you s0 depressed.

- I've had some hellish days... - Easy...

Boss, are we still attacking that romantic city tomorrow?

I've changed my mind, we're going to the seaside.

There's no time to waste here, and lasi can wait.

The summer season has started.

We take the 11:45 fast train. Prepare a light suit for me.

What a heat! You take this. What car?

- No. 5. - Where's my suitcase?

Help me get up!

- Boss, shall we face the hurricane? - Are you nuts?

We scrap the seaside and start operation "Platform".

Do you want to come with us or are you staying here?

Shame on you!

Do you, by any chance, have a room for two?

Wait a minute!

I'm sorry, I'm very disappointed. You don't know how to work.

I could never stand rudeness and vulgarity towards women.

As we have had this "client" before and she seems to be incredibly naive,

I will wear a physical and spiritual disguise, rural style.

I will teach you a valuable lesson.

Conversation over a beer, making the proposal,

meeting the parents, getting the money and bye-bye.

Once, when you were drunk and I hit you, you said I didn't like work.

That I was a bohemian and a crook.

That may be true.

But, during my stormy youth, I've tried a lot of jobs and businesses.

I couldn't find one that would satisfy me.

I like to consider myself a person with no biography,

who has forgotten his past and loves the present.

In recent years, I've been desperately looking for a sincere woman,

willing to create, with me, a secure and happy future.

You make me laugh, boss. You really do.

While searching, I realized that no one takes care of those women

who are cheated on, lonely, old and ugly.

Then, I've started trafficking a luxury object: happiness.

As people still have an amount of stupidity

which can be exploited to get rich, although that's rather dangerous,

I threw out the marriage part and concluded:

engagement is the ideal relationship between a man and a woman.

It is in the best interest of both of them.

- How about the blonde? - The blonde...

I will marry her when I retire from this business.

I'll take up fishing and stamp collecting. And now, let's attack.

I'll take up fishing and stamp collecting. And now, let's attack.

Is your time 14:15?

It's 14:16.

- Did you miss the fast train too? - No...

- No? - Yes, why do you ask?

I'm just curious. Are you waiting for something?

- Somebody. Why do you ask? - I'm just curious.

- Don't you find it a bit too hot? - I do. Why do you ask?

- We should have a beer. - It's bitter...

If you wish, you could have some meatballs.

Thanks, I usually don't.

- If you don't mind, what's your age? - Take a guess.

- 177? - No, I'm 19.

Great! It was my 21st birthday the day before yesterday.

- The day before yesterday? - Yes. On the 21st. 29 years old.

Anyway, many happy returns!

You are very kind, if you don't mind my saying so.

Could you tell me what your profession is?

I'm a cashier at ADAS.

- And do you work with money? - Cash. Every day.

- Isn't it dangerous? - No.

In the evening, I take them to the bank. What do you do, if you don't mind?

- Why do you ask? - I'm just curious.

Calm down for a minute. Lady, I'm a salesman.

You acquire animals?

- I acquire animals for slaughter. - Domestic animals?

Sometimes, even wild ones.

- I guess that's not an easy job for you. - No, it's not.

I'm on the road all day long.

I'd give anything to have a family of my own, to settle down somewhere.

Would you like to have a beer and "slaughter" some meatballs?

I accept. But I usually don't have more than two meatballs and one beer.

I won't force you. Please... Y

- Waiter! Six meatballs and two beers! - Coming!

Cheers.

If you don't mind, may I call you by your first name?

You can call me whatever you like. My folks call me Mimi.

Miss, what do you usually do for fun?

On Saturday evenings, I go dancing. Sometimes, I go to the movies.

Have you seen "The Abduction of the Maidens"?

Three times. For free.

My cousin is the guy who checks the tickets at the entrance.

- Do you read books? - No. Reading makes me sleepy.

Me too. I don't know why.

I could read while I'm on the train, but I prefer looking out the window.

- Do you like that too? - Yes, if there are landscapes.

- If not, I prefer to think about stuff. - Usually, there are landscapes.

- Chief, are they well done? - Yes.

Otherwise, I'll send them back.

Help yourself. Have some salt. Or maybe you want some mustard?

- Not mustard. It's bad for my stomach. - It's bad for me too.

Then, eat them with salt. I like my food very salty.

- Me too. Very salty. - Fantastic.

I'm so glad we're so much alike and that... we're so much alike.

- Thank you. - Help yourself.

- Don't you get bored alone? - Yes, but then I get over it.

Still, it's different when you're in a couple. Right?

You talk, you discuss things...

That's what man is made for.

- Listen, are your eyes blue? - They're blue, but mostly green.

You're right, they're mostly green.

Mimi, listen to me and answer me sincerely. I like sincerity.

Do you want to get married? Yes or no 7?

- Well... - Are you undecided?

- Are your parents opposed? - They're not opposed.

If I find a nice man, they're ready.

I have three more sisters waiting their turn.

We have few boys in our town. They all leave and the girls remain...

How many single girls are there in your town?

A lot! At our parties, girls dance with each other.

That's a serious problem. The UN has acknowledged it.

The paper wrote about it too. They say more and more girls are born.

Maybe because of the atomic bomb. I think that...

Stop thinking, dear. What's the point? Let your mind get some rest.

What with all these asthenias...

And your folks want to organize a big wedding?

- My mom really wants to. - I have nothing against that.

- Do we... Do you have the means? - We have the means.

- Hello. - This hooligan is annoying.

He's not a bad boy, he's just suffered a lot.

- Do you know him? - He's my cousin.

- Apologize to the lady. - Miss...

- I'm sorry for the impression... - No problem.

- Waiter, 10 meatballs, please! - We're leaving. Cancel that order!

Mimi, let's go ask for your parents' consent.

What consent? I'm major and legal.

Yes, but that's the right thing to do.

Do as I say, I only want what's best for you.

- Waiter! - Waiter, check please!

What do we do now, shall we wait for a car?

- We'll walk. - Let's take the carriage.

- I want everybody to see me. - But it's not available.

- Are you available? - Yes.

Play something!

Is 10 lei enough?

Nice town. I'd like to build a house here,

to live a happy life with my little wife.

This is a blessed town, boss. Beautiful girls!

Amore! l love you!

Uncle, she's coming!

Godfather, come here!

Hello! Welcome!

- Daddy! - What?

- Look what I found! - What?

- Aman from Bucharest. - From Bucharest?

Good day. Welcome.

Bye!

Look what they brought us! Pork!

- All I can say is that she's a good girl. - She's a good housewife.

- Educated. - Well-read.

A lot of boys wanted to marry her.

But I wanted her to find an educated man, maybe from Bucharest.

Not that she's mine, but the whole town knows her.

- She's honest. - She sees all the movies.

She even sees them twice.

- She's well-behaved! - He's seen her and he has an opinion.

She is an adequate girl, a very nice and intelligent person.

I'll do my best to make her happy.

You may not like this, but, after the wedding,

I'm taking her with me to Bucharest.

- We have our little nest there... - Will you get her a job?

My wife will not work! She is my lady.

She will wait for me to return.

- Where from? - From wherever.

I earn enough, so I will provide for all of you.

Let's drink one more glass.

I swear it's natural and made according to our possibilities.

Cheers!

- Whatis it? - The dog.

- What's wrong? - There must be a policeman passing by.

Ever since Cristea was escorted by the police to the courthouse,

he taught the dog to bark only at policemen.

- See who it is. - I'l go.

Let her go!

Rex!

I'm not barking.

Sorry.

What's happening here?

- He lost. - This is his punishment.

One more.

Don't worry, it's nothing. Mr. Alecu is barking like a dog.

- You learn a lot of things in Bucharest. - And we thought it was something else.

- Look what I've found! - What's that?

- They were in the pocket of my jacket. - Collect all the rings!

I've turned all my wealth into gold.

Money comes and goes, but gold stays on your hand.

An electric record player!

- Shall we go to a restaurant? - No, tonight we'll dance at home.

May they have a long and prosperous life!

Children, go to the other room and talk to each other.

Tonight, we dance at home!

Tell me something about yourself. We should get to know each other.

I've never done this before.

No wedding? It would be a shame.

We have so many chickens, ducks, geese, turkeys.

I promised that, if Mimi found a good man,

I would slaughter the pig.

No, the poultry is enough. Leave the pig alone.

We will, we all love him. He's so tame, he sleeps on the doormat.

- How aboutsarmale? - Nosarmale!

Entrees, steak, drinks and that's it. It's enough.

- We're not inviting the entire town. - He's right.

They come, the eat, they drink, then they curse you.

Invite only a few people.

Good idea. We don't like big parties either.

- We prefer something more intimate. - All right, then.

We'll only invite close friends. Do you want her in a bride dress?

Of course. Let the whole town see her.

- What's wrong? - I've never done this before.

Calm down.

There's no time to make a wedding dress.

Rent one from that shop in Lipscani Street, in Bucharest.

- Don't be so cheap, Cristache. - Does he have a black suit?

We don't have a black suit, just a blue one. Dark blue.

I have it in my suitcase. It's almost new. Isn't blue OK?

Why not? A guy from our town got married in a grey suit.

And he has a very happy marriage.

The color is not important.

In a suit, as in a person, it's not the color, but the cut.

- Does this look good? - No. I respect you too much.

Your mustache... Oh, I've never done this before.

How about the band?

We'll bring in a band from Bucharest, we have our dignity...

Maybe even Gianni Morandi, if he's in Bucharest.

- And Dan Spataru. - And Margareta Péslaru.

We'll get them all here. They know us and they won't refuse.

- And Maria Lataretu too. - Of course, we're relatives.

- And Maria Lataretu too. - Of course, we're relatives.

Boss! Take it easy. You're going to be proud of me.

- You attacked without asking me? - I wanted to surprise you.

They gave me 5.000 lei to get Gianni Morandi to sing to them.

- The money! - Here you go.

It's all here. I'll go outside, I've drunk a lot of soda.

Cristache, I may be crazy, but I think I know this salesman.

He's been here before. And he got engaged with Lili.

- Really? - Yes, two or three years ago.

He was saying he was a bridge engineer. But he had no mustache.

- Mimi also suspects something. - How come I don't remember it?

- Focus! - It doesn't matter any more.

Tomorrow, we'll do it.

If we let this one get away too,

I'll throw your daughter out and her kid too.

Shut up and don't get mad. Maybe he's serious about it now.

- We'll see tomorrow. - Don't talk so loud.

We're locked in.

The window, boss.

- They're working. - Weaving...

- Smoking. - Trying on clothes.

- We'll never get out. - What do we do?

Let's go to bed.

Get off! We'll get out of this one too.

Right...

- Didn't she forget something? - Mom, you forgot your purse!

- Shall I bring it to you? - Yes, bring it quickly!

Why would we let you do all the shopping by yourselves,

when we can help you?

As you wish.

I've taken a day off. As they say, if you don't have an old man, buy one.

Besides, why shouldn't I choose my own crown and veil?

- It won't start! - Cousin, allow me, please.

- Be careful. - Be patient!

- Now! - Come on!

It's starting!

- Don't forget to buy me a claret shirt! - And all of Banica's records for me!

Godfather, don't forget what I told you!

The satellite! Look! Up there!

It's as big as an ox! Let me see!

- It's only a crow! - What?

It's nothing.

Help the two guys who have fallen out of the train. Bring them to me.

- Boss, what are these guys up to? - I don't know. Thanks.

But it can't get any worse than this. I feel as if I had fallen from a satellite.

Boss, I have a feeling we're about to do some business here.

- Good day. - Hello, miss.

Who are you?

We thank the extraordinary person who was so merciful

as to shelter two tired and wounded troubadours.

My dear lady, allow me to introduce myself.

Temistocle Temistocle, surveyor, and my colleague...

- Alecu. - Technician Alecu.

We were surveying your beautiful countryside,

when we were involved in a horrible accident.

Our helicopter made a sudden move, my colleague lost his balance,

leaned onto me and we both fell on your farm.

If you could offer us shelter until tomorrow,

we would be very grateful, especially since I'm wounded.

- I have sprained my wrist. - Which one?

This one.

You're OK now!

Let me give you some shots now.

- Shots? - Tetanus shots.

No, I was inoculated in kindergarten...

Don't worry, I am very good at this. My boarders don't let anyone else do it.

- You have boarders? - Is this a retirement home?

That's what she calls our cattle: boarders.

Let's go. Guys, take the luggage to the guest room!

Boss!

- What? - Did you moo like that?

Are you nuts? I'm not an ox! Now go get your shot.

- Does it hurt? - Alot. It's in the bone.

- I'm not going alone. - Give me your hand.

- Come on, or you'll get us caught! - Don't leave me alone.

- Come on, or you'll get us caught! - Don't leave me alone.

- What a great air! - The lady's air, boss.

Here, in the country, life may be boring, but it's rich in ozone.

My sister. She's a student, on vacation.

- Mr. Temistocle, Mr. Alecu. - Corina.

Prepare the guest rooms for them and give them some clean clothes.

They've had an accident.

We need a steam bath. We've already had a mud bath.

That's it.

You pulled my hair!

For the face...

Hello!

- Miss! Our clothes! - What?

Qur clothes!

Mr. Alecu, take it! Quickly!

Mr. Temistocle, take this!

Sorry!

What happened?

I've brought you a notebook I found where our guests fell off the train.

Bye.

"From the country where the Sphinx talks to the sacred Nile and Sahara,"

"From the country where the palm trees warn the Arabs of the storms"

"And tell the lost caravans that they will never come back,"

"From that wonderful country, silent, sad and strange,"

"I will bring you three emerald gemstones unseen anywhere else.”

You're so happy. I wish I could live here, in the country, in peace.

A poet once said: "Immortality was born in the country".

If you wish...

The countryside is the pure area of the world.

It's here that values are born. Bucharest only spoils them.

You look like a Botticelli painting.

As Baudelaire said: "Tu es un astre, un astre..."

I wish I could live in the country. Sun, clean air, tranquility...

I would write poems.

A poet once said that happiness was born in the countryside.

"The engagement tango, Let's love the tango."

"For better or for worse, We'll always dance the tango."

"We'll dance to its rhythm, Swinging with the dreams..."

Country life is so beautiful.

Of course, it would have been different

if I had stayed and worked at a farm in or near Bucharest.

Indeed, a person like yourself would be needed in Bucharest,

not only here, for dogs, cows and cats.

You're joking. But there are also research institutes.

- I may be able to do something for you - No promises.

I've grown accustomed to this place. I've been here for two years.

And I feel great. Work doesn't scare me.

Indeed, life may be monotonous and I'm a bit lonely.

I have money, but I'm not sure what to do with it.

Miss, do you believe in love at first sight 7 I do.

Would you like to marry me?

"The engagement tango, You dance it with me."

"From now on, your life Will totally change for the better."

"The engagement tango Has united us for life."

"You will be mine And I will be yours forever."

What an intimate atmosphere. Let's sit down for a while.

Wait until after the wedding. Please!

Hello! Good morning!

- Life in the countryside is great. - My dear, I've been thinking.

I want a small wedding, with just a few close friends and relatives.

But I still have to buy you a wedding dress, jewelry,

some good shoes and other things.

Besides, I want to get a band from Bucharest,

I want Dan Spataru to sing. Nothing less.

I told you my savings are not much. I've had two funerals in my family.

I'll pay for the trousseau, you pay for the band: 4.000 lei.

I'll pay 8.000 if necessary. I only want us to be happy.

We will, dear. Especially since I like country life very much.

I like to see the grass growing out of the soil

or hear the chickens cackling, the eggs growing, the cows bellowing,

the blackbird... Do you have blackbirds?

But you'll have to work too.

Work is what makes man noble.

You've crippled me.

Sorry, boss.

What an intimate atmosphere! We should sit down for a while.

- I'm sorry, Mary. - I told you: wait until after the wedding!

Life in the countryside is wonderful!

Good morning, mate! Can you hear me?

Why are you shouting like that?

You're invited to a new day of work! Come on!

- We're waiting! - It's hard to earn one's bread.

Stop messing around!

Are you coming for me? Go away! Don't let him get me!

Life in the country is great!

Change the direction, please.

Come on!

Boss, act quickly or I'm gone. Understood? I'll go back to zooculture.

OK. Come on!

My dear, I'll be back in a couple of days.

You get ready, I'll get ready, and we'll have the wedding on Sunday.

I suggest you give me 8.000 lei, lest we should lose the singer.

I told you I wanted to book Dan Spataru.

Why are you so silent? Is something wrong?

We need to talk. I think it's time we laid it on the line, mister.

- I know the whole truth about you. - Mary, don't play with me like that.

- Get to the point. - Someone found your notebook.

Thanks. I was worried. In my spare time, I'm working on a novel.

Literature is my hobby. Were you amused at my notes?

Very much. I have read the complete list of your victims.

You make a lot of money from people's feelings.

What can I do? I admit, I'm a sentimentalist.

What if I told the police how much of a sentimentalist you are?

What if I told them you got engaged with me in order to rob me?

If you rat me out, at least tell them I told you beautiful lies.

You liked them and you admired me. You hate lies? Stay single!

I bet you will dream about me tonight.

Who are you going to walk with in the evening?

Who else will tell you they love you?

Who will recite you from Minulescu, Baudelaire...

Go away!

I think our good friends are waiting for us.

If I get out of this one, I swear I'll enter religion. Turn back!

There they are!

- Thieves! - We got them!

Boss, they're coming!

They're here somewhere!

Go there, stop following me!

There they are! Up there!

Gentlemen, be humane! Violence has never led to anything good.

Let us talk about this.

We'll give you the money and let's stay friends.

Here's your money!

Get the money!

The money, godfather! Don't leave the money!

Where are they? Where did they go?

- I didn't take anything! - Bark some more!

- What do we do with him, godfather? - We'll beat him up.

No! Let me claw him first!

Gentleman, I can take anything, but don't touch the face.

Teach him a lesson!

I won't forget you, mustache man!

I'll go to the police.

Murderers!

Murderers!

- Father, they stole our car! - The car too?

- Boss, we won't get far in this thing. - At least get us to the main road.

I can guarantee that.

I thought you could guarantee that.

If the butcher is insured, he's a made man.

Young man, I will offer you something I have learned from life.

In any profession, one must retreat while one is at the top.

It's high time I bought a house in the countryside.

I want to grow bees and collect stamps.

Alone, boss?

I'll offer all my savings to the blonde and I will propose to her.

- Where to now? - To the seaside!

I thought we had lost that umbrella guy.

- Good thing Bebe didn't see us. - Let's go.

I'm looking for one and I come across another.

If you pay 3 lei,

you could win 200, 500, 1.000, 10.000 or 20.000 lei.

What? I didn't understand your gesture.

You do realize that this lucky person is worthy of all my attention.

Boss, I don't think so. It's my turn.

I attack, I win and I give you a percentage.

Boss, that's how it is.

Boss, the two "elements" match. I'm attacking the graveyard.

Go!

That's life. We struggle, we suffer, and then, one day, it's all over.

- When you least expect it. - You're right.

When he left for the Pacific Ocean, my late husband's eye was twitching.

"It's not a good sign," he said. And he was right.

- He died near the Pago Pago Islands. - Why?

Jaundice.

You know, my wife didn't die in the Pago Pago Islands,

but in Caracal, hit by a loaded carriage.

- Loaded with what? - Rubble.

That's life, madam...

Dear lady, I will make a proposition and I want you not to misconstrue it.

If you don't agree, tell it to me straight. I won't be upset.

I'm a no-nonsense man. You'll get to know me.

Let us join our destinies.

In two, loneliness is much easier.

To tell you the truth, I've never thought of that.

- I've gotten used to loneliness. - But you're much too young for that.

Life is too beautiful for us not to enjoy it.

That's true.

That's more like it. Take her hair. Not air! Hair!

I played the lottery in my late husband's memory.

He liked soccer. But he never won. I played and I won, but what for?

Don't worry, Lacramioara. Money opens gates without a key.

As for me, I have one more installment to pay for my apartment, 10.000 lei.

- You can sell the house... - This is it.

It's nice! Sell it and I'll take you with me

- Please... - I hope my house isn't full of flies.

One hour.

I'm waiting for you to come in two days. Don't forget to pay for the apartment.

- If you wish, we can buy a car too. - Oh, no...

But if we need to invest in something, we'll do it. Bye!

- Boss, you must be proud of me. - I'm not.

- Why, boss? 10.000 lei. - You should have taken everything.

Boss, let's go to a bar.

Look, The Golden Horseshoe!

May you be loved, honey.

- After all, life must be enjoyed. - Of course.

It's very nice. I didn't expect it.

Hello! It's our man!

- After all, life is... life. - Right.

Hello.

Oh, my! Police!

Citizen Temistocle Temistocle, by your own free will, do you take this woman,

Pitulice Suzana, to be your wedded wife?

Yes...

Citizen Pitulice Suzana, by your own free will, do you take this man,

Temistocle Temistocle, to be your wedded husband?

Yes.

The conditions required by law have been met...

- Quick, boss! - I want you to know the following...

- I want my Temi... - Who?

- There! - If they don't stop, we're done for.

Listen...

Boss...

God has sent you to me, umbrella man!

Parapluie! You son of a gun!

Of my own free will...

Of my own free will...

Come on! You've arrived just in time, umbrella man!

Did you see their faces, boss?

Come on!

Let me introduce you...

We already know each other.

- Boss, do we dance at home tonight? - In two.