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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,347 --> 00:00:03,147 02 Police Squad Episode 2 - 1982 English 2 00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:08,132 [MALE NARRATOR] Police Squad! In colour. 3 00:00:15,097 --> 00:00:17,058 Starring Leslie Nielsen. 4 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,398 Also starring Alan North. 5 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:25,942 [GUNS FIRING] 6 00:00:27,151 --> 00:00:28,653 [SCREAMING] 7 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:31,113 And Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln. 8 00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:32,490 [GUN FIRING] 9 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:38,913 Tonight's special guest star, Georg Stanford Brown. 10 00:00:46,295 --> 00:00:49,924 Tonight's episode, A Dangerous Assignment. 11 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,055 [CROWD CHEERING] 12 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,062 [INDISTINCT] 13 00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:08,734 [BELL RINGS] 14 00:01:08,859 --> 00:01:10,444 Break it up. Come on. 15 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,030 [CROWD BOOING] 16 00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:19,453 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 17 00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:33,884 Okay, kid. 18 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,803 When we get the high sign from Martin, 19 00:01:35,928 --> 00:01:37,597 then you take the dive. 20 00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:45,187 [BELL RINGS] 21 00:01:45,813 --> 00:01:47,481 [CROWD SHOUTING] 22 00:01:51,485 --> 00:01:52,528 [INDISTINCT] 23 00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,784 [QUIETLY] Come on! 24 00:02:03,831 --> 00:02:05,541 [CROWD EXCLAIMING] 25 00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:20,097 Four, five, 26 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,725 six, seven, 27 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:26,020 eight, nine, 28 00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:27,730 ten, you're out! 29 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:32,985 [QUIETLY] Go on. 30 00:02:36,822 --> 00:02:38,282 [COOPER] Mike, 31 00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:43,120 I think you made a big mistake. 32 00:02:43,245 --> 00:02:46,123 Oh, Cooper, you worry too much. 33 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:52,171 I'm sorry, no one's allowed inside. 34 00:02:52,296 --> 00:02:54,715 No, I'm sorry. It's the rules, it's the rules. 35 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,309 No entry. 36 00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:06,811 Press. 37 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,187 Oh, okay. 38 00:03:13,317 --> 00:03:14,694 [GLASS SHATTERING] 39 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:15,820 [MIKE GROANING] 40 00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,072 [GUN FIRING] 41 00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:20,324 [MIKE SCREAMING] 42 00:03:20,449 --> 00:03:21,701 [EXPLOSION] 43 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,834 [WHISTLING] 44 00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:54,108 My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad, 45 00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:57,069 a special division of the police force. 46 00:03:57,194 --> 00:03:58,821 I'd just come from the stockyards. 47 00:03:58,946 --> 00:04:00,656 We'd gotten reports that hundreds of cows 48 00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:03,159 had been senselessly slaughtered in the area. 49 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,994 But I couldn't find any evidence. 50 00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:08,080 I stopped off for a hamburger and checked in with headquarters. 51 00:04:08,205 --> 00:04:10,207 There'd been an apparent suicide. 52 00:04:10,332 --> 00:04:13,878 I went right to the scene. My boss was already there. 53 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:15,671 - Ed. - Oh, hi, Frank. 54 00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:16,881 What's up? 55 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:19,467 Uh, guard discovered the body about an hour ago. 56 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,594 Somebody went in here right before it happened, 57 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:24,764 but the guard's got bad eyes and he can't make an ID. 58 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:27,308 Uh, we're dusting for prints now. 59 00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:33,022 - What happened? - Kid named Mike Schultz. 60 00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:36,567 Set up to look like suicide but I'm not so sure. 61 00:04:36,692 --> 00:04:38,444 Why would a boxer 62 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:42,740 who just scored the biggest victory of his career go out and commit suicide? 63 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,910 - Are you thinking murder? - It could be. 64 00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:48,037 Anyone with Schultz after the fight? 65 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:50,247 - Just his manager. - Who's that? 66 00:04:50,372 --> 00:04:52,500 Some Joe named Cooper. 67 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,084 Who's this Joe Cooper? 68 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,045 No, no, it's Sol Cooper. 69 00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:59,423 He manages half the boxers in town and they're all on the take. 70 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:04,303 - Want me to question him? - No, no, Frank. No. 71 00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:08,724 We may be dealing with murder and corruption here. 72 00:05:08,849 --> 00:05:12,144 I want you to go undercover. 73 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,650 [DREBIN] I knew that Montague Martin was one of the few criminals 74 00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:20,444 who still tampered with the outcome of fights. 75 00:05:20,569 --> 00:05:24,365 My plan was to find a crooked fighter and straighten him out. 76 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,951 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 77 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,953 Mabel, Mabel, 78 00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,996 set the table. 79 00:05:31,121 --> 00:05:32,498 Don't forget 80 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,959 - the red hot... - [GRUNTING] 81 00:05:40,422 --> 00:05:41,674 Aren't you Buddy Briggs? 82 00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,092 [GROANING] 83 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,343 Yeah. 84 00:05:44,468 --> 00:05:46,929 Too bad you lost your last three fights. 85 00:05:47,054 --> 00:05:49,098 So I had some bad luck. So what? 86 00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,517 Well, maybe you don't have the right kind of management. 87 00:05:52,309 --> 00:05:55,229 Don't you think you should start thinking about that, Buddy? 88 00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:58,232 - I make a pretty good living. - Maybe you can make a better one, 89 00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:00,651 and a cleaner one and a better one. 90 00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:04,196 - Where's your manager? - In the back. 91 00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:08,492 [BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY] 92 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,537 [THUDDING] 93 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,626 One of you manage Buddy Briggs? 94 00:06:19,795 --> 00:06:21,714 Yeah. 95 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:23,966 You gotta be Cooper. 96 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,428 I hear you own a piece of just about every boxer in town. 97 00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,972 - Yeah, what's it to you? - I'm a manager. 98 00:06:30,097 --> 00:06:31,932 I wanna take over Buddy Briggs' contract. 99 00:06:32,057 --> 00:06:33,684 What are you, some kind of wise guy? 100 00:06:33,809 --> 00:06:36,270 Yeah, I'm a wise guy 101 00:06:36,395 --> 00:06:38,606 with a lot of long green. 102 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:41,191 You manage Lorne Greene? 103 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:43,027 I'll trade Buddy for Lorne Greene. 104 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,279 No, no. I mean I got cash. 105 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:47,072 You manage Johnny Cash, too? 106 00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:49,742 Wait a minute. Who are you? 107 00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:50,993 Kelly. 108 00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:54,580 Bob Kelly. 109 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,999 Mind if I sit in a few hands? 110 00:06:57,124 --> 00:06:58,876 Your money's good here. 111 00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:00,711 Goodyear? 112 00:07:00,836 --> 00:07:02,630 You got the blimp, too? 113 00:07:04,798 --> 00:07:06,550 [DREBIN] It didn't take long for me to see 114 00:07:06,675 --> 00:07:09,178 that the game was as crooked as Cooper's smile. 115 00:07:18,395 --> 00:07:19,897 [COOPER] Just you and me, Kelly. 116 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:23,108 I raise you $500. 117 00:07:23,275 --> 00:07:25,194 Well, that's my kind of action. 118 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,905 Here's your $500. 119 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,200 One grand more. 120 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:57,393 That's a lot of do-re-mi, Kelly. I'm outta cash. 121 00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:59,645 - What about these? - No dice. 122 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,855 But there is something else I'm interested in. 123 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:02,981 What's that? 124 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,775 Buddy Briggs' contract. 125 00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:07,319 All right, Kelly. 126 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,365 What do you got? 127 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,953 Full house. Kings over. 128 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,414 Not so fast, Kelly. 129 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:20,582 A straight beats a full house. 130 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,588 No it doesn't. A straight beats three of a kind. 131 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,336 A full house beats a straight. 132 00:08:24,461 --> 00:08:25,963 Doesn't a flush beat a straight? 133 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,715 A straight flush beats everything. 134 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,258 Not a royal flush. 135 00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:30,926 Does a flush beat a full house? 136 00:08:31,051 --> 00:08:33,679 A regular flush or a straight flush? 137 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,806 A flush A flush beats a straight. 138 00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:38,976 I've played a lot of poker. A full house beats a straight. 139 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,020 Maybe so, Kelly. 140 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:44,106 But four of us beats one of you. 141 00:08:44,231 --> 00:08:46,608 All right, I've got an ace in the hole. 142 00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:49,528 That makes me the winner. Buddy Briggs belongs to me now. 143 00:08:49,653 --> 00:08:51,655 But just to make it nice and legal, 144 00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:54,158 I brought along a bill of sale. Sign it. 145 00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:57,661 You. You witness it. 146 00:08:57,786 --> 00:09:00,289 You, you check for spelling errors. 147 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,584 All right, Cooper. Get that stuff in there. 148 00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:06,211 How many L's in legally? 149 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:10,841 You may have a fighter, Kelly, but you'll never get a fight. 150 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:15,888 We got this town sewn up tighter than a floozy's skirt. 151 00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:18,015 [DREBIN] We'll see about that, Cooper. 152 00:09:22,519 --> 00:09:26,023 Well, gentlemen, it's been a nice afternoon. 153 00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,816 Hope we can do it again some other time. 154 00:09:27,941 --> 00:09:29,777 I'm free Wednesdays. 155 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,866 This guy's more trouble than he's worth. I want him knocked off! 156 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,499 [DREBIN] My plan was working. 157 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,542 I was now Buddy Briggs' manager. 158 00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:48,796 But I still had no way to connect Cooper and Martin with the murder. 159 00:09:50,964 --> 00:09:51,965 [MAN SCREAMING] 160 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,509 [CRASHING] 161 00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,677 I got a call from Olson. 162 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,805 The lab had come up with something. 163 00:09:58,263 --> 00:10:01,100 So you see, Katie, when I throw this switch, 164 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:02,976 the electrical current from the power source 165 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:06,146 is able to continue its journey to its final destination. 166 00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:07,981 In our case, the light bulb. 167 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,107 Gee. 168 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:12,152 - All set then? - I guess so, Mr. Olson. 169 00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:13,487 Here we go. 170 00:10:14,404 --> 00:10:16,406 Oh. Hi, Frank. Ed. 171 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:17,783 Yeah. 172 00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:19,535 Why don't you run along now, Katie? 173 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:21,411 And next week remember to bring three things 174 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:24,915 - from your mother's dresser. - Gee, thanks, Mr. Olson. Bye. 175 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:29,044 Anything on the Mike Schultz case? 176 00:10:29,169 --> 00:10:30,754 The dead boxer? 177 00:10:30,879 --> 00:10:32,172 [GLASS SHATTERING] 178 00:10:32,297 --> 00:10:34,137 - Well, there weren't many clues. - Any prints? 179 00:10:34,174 --> 00:10:35,592 No, but we found some whiskers. 180 00:10:35,717 --> 00:10:37,010 Oh? 181 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,804 Take a look in here. 182 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,310 Facial hair. 183 00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:52,651 Yep. 184 00:10:52,776 --> 00:10:56,822 Hair is like fingerprints. No two follicles are alike. 185 00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,158 The strand on the left belongs to Schultz. 186 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,827 The one on the right was found near his body. 187 00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:05,414 So, whoever belongs to that whisker is our killer. 188 00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:07,666 - Have you identified him? - Yes. 189 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,668 It belongs to him. 190 00:11:11,628 --> 00:11:13,797 [DREBIN] Luca Burnett was a five-time loser 191 00:11:13,922 --> 00:11:16,049 who was working for Montague Martin. 192 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,552 Now I knew who was responsible for the murder. 193 00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,305 But I needed someone who wasn't afraid to talk. 194 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:24,391 The next step was to work on Buddy Briggs. 195 00:11:25,475 --> 00:11:26,810 Hi, Buddy. 196 00:11:26,935 --> 00:11:29,146 - What are you doing here? - I'm your new manager. 197 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,814 Hey, look, buster, 198 00:11:30,939 --> 00:11:33,734 I don't know who you are or what you're trying to pull, 199 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:36,278 - but I work for Cooper. - Not any more. 200 00:11:36,403 --> 00:11:38,989 And you don't go in the tank any more either. 201 00:11:39,114 --> 00:11:40,866 I don't know what you're talking about. 202 00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:43,660 - All right, Buddy, play it stupid. - I don't care. You hear me? 203 00:11:43,785 --> 00:11:45,787 I don't wanna end up dead in some locker room. 204 00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:47,247 Now get out! 205 00:11:48,832 --> 00:11:49,917 Mew 206 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:53,771 Mary, why aren't you at waitress school? 207 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,088 [BURPING] 208 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:56,632 Mew 209 00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,592 You've been drinking again, haven't you? 210 00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,928 - [MARY] [SLURRING] You're a bum! - [BUDDY] Mary. 211 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:04,223 The only money you've ever earned is by throwing fights. 212 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:07,643 - You're not the man I married. - How can you say that? 213 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,229 Because here's the man I married. 214 00:12:12,439 --> 00:12:14,316 Mary, I love you. 215 00:12:14,441 --> 00:12:17,110 I'm trying to give you all the things you never had. 216 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,155 A decent home, a decent life, your own synagogue. 217 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,658 [MARY] You're never gonna give me those things, 218 00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:24,534 and you know why? 219 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,536 'Cause you got no guts. 220 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:29,915 You're scared of Martin and Cooper. They own you. 221 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,751 Nobody owns Buddy Briggs! Nobody! 222 00:12:32,876 --> 00:12:35,003 Don't lie to me! 223 00:12:35,128 --> 00:12:38,090 Every big fight you've ever been in, you've taken a dive. 224 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,176 And you know what? You could've been somebody. 225 00:12:41,301 --> 00:12:44,054 You could've been a contender instead of a bum, 226 00:12:44,179 --> 00:12:45,931 which is what you are. 227 00:12:50,727 --> 00:12:52,145 Muffin. 228 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:02,781 Buddy, I'm here to help you. 229 00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:04,533 Now, do you think you can beat The Champ? 230 00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:06,803 - I can take him blindfolded. - What if he's not blindfolded? 231 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,453 I can still beat him. 232 00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:10,622 [SLAPS BUTT] 233 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,165 I believe you. 234 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,167 That's why I won you in the poker game. 235 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,919 You fight on the up-and-up, 236 00:13:16,044 --> 00:13:18,164 you'll be able to look in the mirror and see a winner. 237 00:13:18,213 --> 00:13:20,424 You've been living in the dumps too long, pal. 238 00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,926 I'm gonna help you and Mary get out of this sewer. 239 00:13:23,051 --> 00:13:24,469 Come on. 240 00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:31,643 All right, Buddy, 241 00:13:31,768 --> 00:13:34,146 now, you meet me tomorrow at Maury's Bar on Prospect. 242 00:13:34,271 --> 00:13:36,356 I'm gonna get you a fight with The Champ. 243 00:13:36,481 --> 00:13:37,941 Well, how are you gonna do that? 244 00:13:38,066 --> 00:13:39,443 You leave that to me. 245 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:50,579 [PIANO PLAYING LOUNGE MUSIC] 246 00:13:55,917 --> 00:13:57,002 [SLAPS BUTT] 247 00:13:57,127 --> 00:13:58,211 Buddy. 248 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:06,887 What'll it be? 249 00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:08,388 Screwdriver. 250 00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:13,852 [RATCHETING] 251 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,903 - Anything to drink? - No, thank you. 252 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,572 Hey, Kelly. 253 00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,824 Sure are a lot of photographers here tonight. 254 00:14:27,949 --> 00:14:29,701 Yeah, I know. Is Cooper and Martin here? 255 00:14:29,826 --> 00:14:30,826 Yeah. 256 00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:33,330 They're sitting at the table with a couple of tramps. 257 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:35,916 [ALL LAUGHING] 258 00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:41,254 Well, I think it's time to go and meet Mr. Big. 259 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,215 His name's Mr. Martin. 260 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,675 Well. 261 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,347 [LAUGHING] 262 00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:55,060 Hey, Cooper, you calling any bluffs lately? 263 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,395 Well, 264 00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,689 if it isn't Mr. Kelly. 265 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,526 It's the guy I was telling you about, 266 00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:05,112 the guy who manages Lorne Greene and Johnny Cash. 267 00:15:05,862 --> 00:15:07,280 Go powder your noses. 268 00:15:16,456 --> 00:15:19,584 Listen, smart boy, I own this town. 269 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,920 You may have a fighter, 270 00:15:22,045 --> 00:15:23,922 but you're never gonna get a fight. 271 00:15:24,047 --> 00:15:25,715 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 272 00:15:29,594 --> 00:15:31,430 We'll see about that. 273 00:15:33,056 --> 00:15:35,350 [CHAMP] Roses are red, violets are blue, 274 00:15:35,475 --> 00:15:37,811 sugar is sweet, I'm gonna break your face. 275 00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:39,771 [CROWD LAUGHING, APPLAUDING] 276 00:15:39,896 --> 00:15:42,149 Buddy Briggs could break every bone in your body. 277 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,025 Yeah, well, he must be a pretty good boxer. 278 00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,402 Well, how would you know? 279 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,207 You never won an honest fight in your life. 280 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,447 Hey, take it easy. 281 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,132 Nobody wants to get hurt. Just cool off. 282 00:15:50,198 --> 00:15:51,867 Why should I? The only reason you're champ 283 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,286 is 'cause of guys lying down or dying. 284 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,037 Hey, let me buy you a drink. We'll talk. 285 00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:59,666 I wouldn't drink with you, you two-bit, phony excuse for a fighter. 286 00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:01,418 You're just tired, 287 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,837 - you didn't mean it. - Ah, forget it. 288 00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:05,213 Forget it? 289 00:16:05,338 --> 00:16:07,340 Nobody says forget it to me! 290 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:08,717 [CROWD GASPING] 291 00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:11,928 [CROWD EXCLAIMING] 292 00:16:33,658 --> 00:16:36,244 Sorry, Buddy, no sax before a fight. 293 00:16:37,078 --> 00:16:38,497 Are you nervous? 294 00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:39,956 Yeah, a bit. 295 00:16:40,081 --> 00:16:43,543 But I know I can take this guy. Nothing can stop me tonight. 296 00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:45,045 What are you doing here, Martin? 297 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,089 Get outta here. I've gone straight. 298 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:51,551 If you're smart, you'll go straight to the canvas in the 12th. 299 00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,303 Forget it. 300 00:16:53,428 --> 00:16:55,472 - We've got Mary. - What? 301 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,724 - You're bluffing. - Oh, yeah? 302 00:16:57,849 --> 00:16:59,100 Mary's scarf! 303 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,685 You could have gotten that anywhere. 304 00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,562 - How about this? - Mary's purse! 305 00:17:02,687 --> 00:17:04,314 There are millions of purses like that. 306 00:17:04,439 --> 00:17:05,899 How about this? 307 00:17:07,108 --> 00:17:08,818 Mary's toaster! 308 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,655 Oh, my God. 309 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:15,075 In the 12th, Buddy. 310 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:19,788 I can't believe it. 311 00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:21,748 I trained to win this fight. 312 00:17:21,873 --> 00:17:23,792 I can win this fight. 313 00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:25,502 Now I gotta lose. 314 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:28,421 Buddy, I'll make a deal with you. 315 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,632 I'll bring back Mary, 316 00:17:30,757 --> 00:17:32,467 you beat The Champ. 317 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,390 [DREBIN] I radioed Hocken to get some men 318 00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:39,891 and meet me at the arena. 319 00:17:40,016 --> 00:17:42,352 If I wanted to put Martin and his monkeys behind bars, 320 00:17:42,477 --> 00:17:44,604 I had to find Mary, and fast. 321 00:17:51,861 --> 00:17:54,531 Johnny, I need some information and fast. 322 00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:56,616 There's a woman in trouble. 323 00:17:56,741 --> 00:17:59,578 You mean Mary, the boxer's wife who was just kidnapped? 324 00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,788 Right. You know anything about it? 325 00:18:01,913 --> 00:18:03,832 Maybe I do, maybe I don't. 326 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:08,587 She's in big trouble. 327 00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,880 She's being held by Martin's goon, Luca. 328 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,882 What's a goonluca? 329 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:16,094 No, Luca Burnett. Martin's henchman. 330 00:18:16,219 --> 00:18:17,429 Right. 331 00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:18,930 Where are they? 332 00:18:19,055 --> 00:18:21,224 It's a big city. Could be most anyplace. 333 00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:23,852 [GIVES MONEY] 334 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:28,690 You might wanna try Jim's Gym. 335 00:18:28,815 --> 00:18:30,942 Thanks, Johnny. I'll be in touch. 336 00:18:37,365 --> 00:18:39,826 - It's a bypass operation, Johnny. - So? 337 00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:42,871 The guy has a history of sinus bradycardia. 338 00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,748 I wouldn't know anything about it. 339 00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,962 - You got him on atropine? - Of course. 340 00:18:52,672 --> 00:18:56,092 Do a rnidline thoracotomy, strip the saphenous vein, 341 00:18:56,217 --> 00:18:58,928 be careful not to puncture the myocardium. 342 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:02,432 [FANFARE MUSIC PLAYING] 343 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,604 [CROWD CHEERING] 344 00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:11,066 [CLANGING] 345 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,031 Tonight's main event, 15 rounds 346 00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:21,785 for the championship of the world. 347 00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:25,413 In this corner, weighing 210 pounds 348 00:19:25,538 --> 00:19:28,667 in the dark trunks is the current champion, 349 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,418 The Champ. 350 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:36,049 Jack and Jill went up the hill, 351 00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:37,425 I'm gonna break your face! 352 00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:39,636 I'm gonna break your face! 353 00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:42,931 [SNORING] 354 00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:45,433 [MOANING] 355 00:19:53,274 --> 00:19:54,693 [TIRES SCREECHING] 356 00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:35,275 No! No! No! No! Help! 357 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,318 Police Squad! You're under arrest! 358 00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:39,279 No way, Ray! 359 00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:41,614 [GUN FIRING] 360 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:02,343 [DREBIN] All right, Luca, I've got a gun in your ribs. 361 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:04,971 [MARY] I'm not Luca and those aren't my ribs. 362 00:21:05,096 --> 00:21:06,389 [LUCA] Eat lead, copper! 363 00:21:06,514 --> 00:21:08,183 [GUN FIRING] 364 00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:10,143 - [DREBIN] Mary, you all right? - [MARY] Yes. 365 00:21:10,268 --> 00:21:11,478 [LUCA] So am I. 366 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:12,937 [GUN FIRING] 367 00:21:13,062 --> 00:21:14,773 [MACHINE GUN FIRING] 368 00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:19,903 - [DREBIN] How about now? - [LUCA] Now? Not so good. 369 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:21,154 [THUDDING] 370 00:21:21,821 --> 00:21:23,461 [MAN] We're about to start the 12th round. 371 00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:26,284 And remember, Buddy Briggs has never gone the distance. 372 00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:34,417 [BELL RINGS] 373 00:21:34,542 --> 00:21:37,295 [MAN] [ON RADIO] At this point, I'd say it could go either way. 374 00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:39,297 Both men are strong, but tired. 375 00:21:39,422 --> 00:21:41,549 And one punch could end it at any moment. 376 00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:44,177 [CROWD CHEERING] 377 00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:05,824 [REFEREE] One, two, 378 00:22:05,949 --> 00:22:07,200 three 379 00:22:07,325 --> 00:22:09,536 Mary, Mary. 380 00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:11,329 [MARY] Every big fight you've ever been in 381 00:22:11,454 --> 00:22:13,331 [ECHOING] you've taken a dive. 382 00:22:13,456 --> 00:22:15,291 [DREBIN] I'll get you a fight with The Champ 383 00:22:15,416 --> 00:22:17,752 [ECHOING] and then maybe you'll be a winner. 384 00:22:17,877 --> 00:22:19,838 [MARY] There's no place like home. 385 00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:22,090 There's no place like home. 386 00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:24,342 [ECHOING] Auntie Em! 387 00:22:24,467 --> 00:22:28,012 [ECHOING] And Toto, too! 388 00:22:28,137 --> 00:22:30,014 - You'll always be a burn! - [MARY] Buddy! 389 00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:37,397 [REFEREE] ...six, seven, 390 00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,023 eight, nine... 391 00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:42,402 [CROWD CHEERING] 392 00:22:45,738 --> 00:22:47,198 [BELL RINGS] 393 00:22:49,450 --> 00:22:51,786 [REFEREE] How many fingers do you see? 394 00:22:51,911 --> 00:22:53,538 Thursday. 395 00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:56,541 [THUDDING] 396 00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:01,504 - The winner! - Yeah, Mary! 397 00:23:01,629 --> 00:23:03,506 Yeah, Mary! 398 00:23:03,631 --> 00:23:05,842 Mary! Yeah! 399 00:23:07,844 --> 00:23:09,512 How do you feel about the victory, champ? 400 00:23:09,637 --> 00:23:10,638 Great! 401 00:23:10,763 --> 00:23:13,892 It's not only a victory for me, but for all of boxing. 402 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:15,870 'Cause I'd like to tell you about some cheap crooks 403 00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:18,980 who are trying to ruin the game. Montague Martin! 404 00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:20,982 Kelly! 405 00:23:21,107 --> 00:23:23,651 The name is Detective Frank Drebin and I'm a boxing fan. 406 00:23:23,776 --> 00:23:25,361 - What the... - All right, Martin, 407 00:23:25,486 --> 00:23:27,196 you've fixed your last fight. 408 00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:30,199 From now on, the boxers in this town will lose honestly. 409 00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:32,160 Buddy! Buddy! 410 00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:35,747 Buddy! Buddy! Buddy! 411 00:23:35,872 --> 00:23:37,498 Mary! 412 00:23:42,503 --> 00:23:44,464 [CROWD CHEERING] 413 00:23:50,261 --> 00:23:53,222 - Hi, Ed. - Oh, hi, Frank. 414 00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:55,224 - Excuse me. - Yep. 415 00:23:58,227 --> 00:24:01,272 Uh, Drebin here. Get me Pete Preussing. 416 00:24:01,397 --> 00:24:04,984 Tell him I'd like the final report on Martin and Sally Decker. 417 00:24:05,109 --> 00:24:06,402 Right. 418 00:24:06,527 --> 00:24:09,238 Looks like we got a new champ, huh? 419 00:24:10,281 --> 00:24:11,908 Well, 420 00:24:12,033 --> 00:24:14,327 looks like I can get back to reading the sport pages now. 421 00:24:14,452 --> 00:24:16,037 Speaking of sports pages, 422 00:24:16,162 --> 00:24:18,581 I see they're bringing your friend Martin in now. 423 00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:22,919 You think you're a big man, Drebin, 424 00:24:23,044 --> 00:24:24,772 but I'm telling you, I'm gonna beat this rap. 425 00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:26,547 Don't count on that, Martin. 426 00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:28,925 Looks like you and your cohorts'll be doing your boxing 427 00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:31,344 up at the Stateville Prison from now on. 428 00:24:32,387 --> 00:24:33,554 [LAUGHS] 429 00:24:57,537 --> 00:25:00,337 [MALE NARRATOR] Be sure to tune in next week for another exciting story 430 00:25:00,456 --> 00:25:02,667 from the files of Police Squad! 30248

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