Original subtitles

At least eat some toast!

There's no time!

I'll be late!

Ouch...

Jeez, that's dozens...

Mr. Nishiyama! Do I have to search through all of them?

Yes, they must be somewhere there.

But most of the tapes aren't even labeled.

I would have to watch all of them.

That's why you're here.

Make sure you finish before 3 o'clock.

Mr. Takahashi from BBBS needs them, so hurry up.

What?

Listen. You know that this is just a small production company.

We cannot afford it,

but we still hired you. The boss insisted.

If you don't like this work,

you can pack your stuff and go home, okay?

Okay, Boss.

Stop this tongue-in-cheek nonsense!

DAM AN INTRODUCTION

What are you searching for?

You know that famous singer? Who married again?

For the fifth time?

One of the stations

wants some footage from his first four weddings.

We filmed the second and third one.

And now you must find the tapes! Tough shit.

That dude is a freak!

As far as I know he's a horror fan and has a huge movie collection.

Fancy that! He even has an autograph of Tobe Hooper!

Who's that?

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre!" A classic! You haven't seen it?

Never heard of it. I don't watch horror movies.

Not my cup of tea, too creepy...

Well then...

You should at least watch some of them,

especially if you're gonna work here.

I'll lend you a dvd, okay? Nothing hardcore, something for girls.

No, thanks.

Well then...

Sir. Do you want anything else?

Thanks, but... - Yes?

I ordered spaghetti aglio olio! This is bolognese!

Yes. I'm sorry. I'll bring the right dish immediately.

Do that. And hurry up.

Finally!

Listen...

I didn't order this! I hate spaghetti bolognese!

I wanted...

UTSUSEMI

I'll be late!

Ouch...

What's that?

I hear zombies!

Wait, this looks interesting.

Zombies are still not very well known among japanese citizens.

But recently the dangerous zombie virus

has been introduced from overseas.

which lead to an increasing number of attacks.

The biggest problem of the zombie attacks is

that the victims themselves turn into zombies very quickly.

So, what can we do

to prevent Japan from being taken over by zombies?

What's the best way to deal with the increasing number of zombies?

In this video we will give you some answers.

RAGE OF THE UNDEAD (AN INTRODUCTION TO ZOMBIE SCIENCE)

Oh my god... that's cool!

Is this a horror movie?

Yes, looks like it.

From the look of it, it seems to be made in the seventies.

Romero's "Dawn of the Dead" is from '78.

But in Japan zombie movies only got popular after "Dawn of the Dead".

Therefore the movie can't be from the seventies.

"Night of the Living Dead" is from '68, so it still could be.

Wait, what other movies are from that time?

Hiroshi Matsunos "Living Skeleton" from '68, a real milestone!

Maybe this is an original japanese zombie movie.

But before Romero?

And the special effects are great. How did they do that?

Hello! A packet for you!

Coming!

Hello! - This is for you.

You're very beautiful.

You think so? Thanks!

Oh, I need to sign.

Doesn't write...

Take mine.

Thank you.

Here.

This one works.

It better.

It was quite expensive.

You never know

when the zombies will attack next.

Essentially zombies are people that came back from the dead.

Even if their bodies encountered massive injuries they can still move.

They are exceptionally slow,

and many of them show signs of decay.

These are their most obvious characteristics.

Furthermore it's conspicuous

that most zombies have part of their hair stand on end.

Thank you. See you next time.

Thank you.

Hey, Hashimoto. Turn that off.

Just a moment.

Here.

Thanks.

Sorry.

Why don't you take it home and watch it there.

Good idea.

This scene plays in an ordinary office.

Should you encounter someone who looks like a zombie,

don't automatically assume he is one.

Hello, can I help you?

If you treat him like a zombie but he isn't one,

it would be bad manners.

Hey, I still got a lot to do. - Just a little more.

Aiko, take a look who it is.

Okay.

What's up now again, Aiko?

Oh hello. That's Mr. Takahashi, stupid.

Sorry, she's new.

Is it 3 o'clock already?

I'm sorry, but we're still searching for the tapes!

It shouldn't take us much longer, do you want to wait?

Is everything alright?

You should thoroughly verify

if the other person really is a zombie.

You're covered in blood...

Mr. Takahashi?

Please stop, you're hurting me...

It's a zombie!

It's a zombie!

Don't be ridiculous! It's Mr. Takahashi!

IF YOU SEE A ZOMBIE, LET EVERYONE KNOW!

Your own safety is important,

but to keep injury to a minimum

cooperation with others is an absolute must.

Ouch, don't, ouch!

No, don't, please stop it!

Aiko, call... call... call...

an ambulance!

A zombie's head is very vulnerable.

An injury to the cerebral cortex or the brain stem will be most effective.

Therefore, in order to kill a zombie beheading them is reasonable.

so, should you encounter a zombie

simply attack the head.

ATTACK THE HEAD!

ATTACK THE HEAD!

Hey, watch out!

That's pointless! You need something harder!

It's a zombie after all.

The following is very important!

Never hesitate when attacking a zombie.

Don't worry, zombies aren't humans.

Don't listen to your conscience. Be confident.

And fight.

Are you alright, Aiko?

Why didn't you help me?

I'm sorry! I wanted to help you, but I just couldn't move.

I don't know why, but this is a zombie.

Let's get away, as fast as possible.

But Mr. Nishiyama needs a doctor.

Forget him, it's too late! Soon he will become a zombie too!

We need to get away urgently.

But someone has to help him... - Nobody can help him!

Listen, just trust me regarding that.

I've seen over 300 zombie movies, I'm somewhat of an expert!

See!

As a weapon just use whatever you have at hand.

This could even mean a dictionary.

If you hit the zombie's head with the edge it can be deadly for him.

THE THICKER THE BETTER

DON'T FLINCH

STRIKE HARD

Hashimoto? Can we go?

Er, yes.

Oh, the video... We should take it with us.

You're right.

What is this?

Squid.

No beef left.

Kanabun. - Yes?

Luckily I have not turned into a zombie yet,

but I've been bitten by one, which makes me a carrier.

Yes, I know. He really battered you.

Yes, and that's why I have that overwhelming desire

to eat human flesh. And in order to control that urge

I tried various foods.

It isn't great,

however dried beef comes closest to the taste of human flesh,

but this is just... seafood.

That's right.

Do you want me to eat human flesh?

Should I resign to my fate and eat humans?

Do you really think I should turn into a zombie?

I'm sorry, sister!

Now really, Kanabun...

Am I a zombie? Am I a zombie?

No, you're not a zombie! No, you're not a zombie!

Am I a zombie? Am I a zombie?

No, you're not a zombie! No, you're not a zombie!

Am I a zombie? Am I a zombie?

No, you're not a zombie! No, you're not a zombie!

I'm not a zombie, that's right, isn't it?

No, you're not a zombie! You're not a zombie, Yasude!

No, I'm not a zombie!

Now we go to the nearest market and buy some dried beef.

Yes, good idea. We better hurry.

Hey, Aiko. Do you really think we should leave the building?

Of course!

According to the cliche there will be even more zombies out there.

It might be safer to stay inside.

But it was your idea to leave!

Yes, but to be honest, I have no clue what we should do next.

Let us go to the police. Or at least to the fire department.

No, according to the movies that's useless.

Normally the survivors barricade themselves.

I don't care what normally happens in those zombie movies, okay?

I prefer to use common sense.

Common sense! You just killed a zombie!

I didn't really kill him, did I?

He's dead! You've beaten him to death!

Oh no, don't blame yourself, you did everything right, okay?

Zombies are already dead anyways.

Moreover it was an absolutely extreme case.

That's why we also took the tape with us.

Oh, this reminds me of something. But it's another zombie cliche.

Spit it out.

One shouldn't hesitate in front of a door,

or else the zombies might come in.

See!

Hurry, let's go back up!

Down again, go, go, go!

UTAKATA ENTERPRISES - Lock the door!

What if they can still enter?

Hey, can't you knock at the door?

Aiko! What a surprise!

Uncle!

How are you?

And? How's it going? How's your new job?

I begged Mr. Nishiyama to hire you, so please work hard.

Who's that?

A colleague.

Oh. Then you know who I am?

I'm your boss, this is an associate company.

Yes, I know.

And? Has something happened?

Zombies are attacking us.

Zombies?

Mr. Nishiyama turned into a zombie, and there are even more out there.

I understand...

Zombies...

So... Nishiyama is a zombie now?

I understand...

The state of emergency has been imposed over the Kanto region.

As the zombies... please pardon me.

As the citizens are getting more violent,

the government has sent armed forces into the region.

The health minister has ordered a detailed investigation of the incidents.

Please stay indoors until the situation is under control.

Too late! We're already at work!

Finally! And it's really inside this building?

That's right. - And the video really is inside?

I verified it.

Comrades! Our time has come!

We will force them to take notice of us.

For 40 years the japanese government

has locked us up and denied our existence,

but now we will finally take revenge!

Now you can spread out.

And remember: The public finally has to accept us!

Good luck!

Let's go!

If a victim dies through direct contact

with a violent citizen, he will become violent too.

Once the victims got violent,

they will even attack family members and close friends,

so please stay cautious.

I repeat:

The state of emergency has been imposed over the Kanto region.

They're here! - Let's get away from here!

Impossible. That's the only exit.

Then we have to fight.

I repeat: Please stay at home until the situation is under control.

It's gotten windy.

We're comrades, but that's just sick.

How could one eat raw meat? Yuck!

No thanks, I pass.

What if I like it and then become a real zombie?

Sorry, took me a little longer. Here you are.

Thank you.

You really have to arm yourselves.

With what? This is a office!

Think of something!

The video. Let's watch it. Maybe it will help us.

What video?

This one.

Uncle, do you have a VCR here? - Of course.

Is this the one I think it is?

As you surely know, the possession of firearms is forbidden in Japan.

Because of that it's rather unlikely

that you'll find any real weapons in your office.

Therefore we will now show you how to

fight the zombies with commodity items.

And now...

How to kill a zombie.

In this chapter we will demonstrate you by means of example

the most effective ways of defending yourself against zombie attacks.

Oh, I haven't introduced myself yet.

I'm a fallen angel and I'm here

to give the zombies the death blow.

I'm the ultimate psychedelic go-go angel: Kuruyo Masa!

Peace.

There's nothing like a chainsaw if you want to kill some zombies.

But one rarely has a chainsaw at home or at the office.

Therefore we will now show you

how you can easily kill zombies with commodity items.

That brings back memories.

Your company made this?

Indeed. We were specialists back then.

I want to kill!

The special effects are great.

How did you make those back then?

Those aren't special effects.

What? But...

They're here.

Back off.

Back off!

Back off!

Firstly: Scissors. The bigger the better.

The skull is hard

but the structure around the eyes is softer

so it's best to aim for that.

Help!

Cool!

Nishiyama!

No! Stay put!

Please don't do it!

Memo spikes: These are very practical weapons.

Please don't! Nishiyama!

Everyting okay, uncle? - I'm fine...

Nishiyama!

He was my lover... Nishiyama...

Ball point pen: Just remove the cap et voila.

It better. It was quite expensive.

Works great, doesn't it?

We made this movie 40 years ago for the government.

They didn't show it on the news

but our country suffered from a zombie epidemic back then.

We were instructed to film an educational video.

We got the support of all the public authorities

to stop the spreading of the zombies.

Are you serious?

But, to prevent the citizens from panicking,

the government decided to hide the movie in the archive.

But the tape was in our locker all the time.

Yes,they hid it in the "archive".

Who could have known that we could still need it after all these years?

May I ask another question? - What?

You said that you didn't use special effects.

What did you mean by that?

Easy answer.

Everything's real. - What?

The US military was able to get rid of most of the zombies

but some of them were kept as a sample.

Our company used some of those for the shooting.

What? Then these are...

Don't tell anyone!

Nowadays that would be a problem,

but back then they didn't take it too seriously.

Apart from that: Zombies don't have rights, so who cares?

I don't know...

After all you imprisoned and later on gruesomely killed former citizens

in the making of this movie.

That's why you shouldn't tell anybody!

To all humans.

To all humans.

Resistance is futile, the bulding is surrounded.

By zombies!

The police, the japanese army, the japanese government...

All of them are now powerless.

So it's pointless to wait for help.

Surrender. And turn the video over.

That movie proves

that our minority has been oppressed and exploited for years.

As long as this movie is in the hands of the establishment

there won't be peace.

We will confiscate the video,

then destroy it to strengthen the spirit of our revolution.

Surrender and turn the video over.

And with our own hands...

we will turn you into zombies too!

Sister. Your head, your head.

My hat! Get it! Hurry!

Hurry! Hurry!

That's Yasude.

So she's still alive...

Who is she?

She's one of the zombies that the government imprisoned back then.

Oh no, please don't! I'm not a zombie!

I'm not a zombie, really I'm not!

Don't make a fool of yourself. Your brain is hanging out.

You're dead. You're a zombie. Without a doubt.

My brain may be hanging out but I'm not a zombie.

I'm not a zombie!

As you can see,

in rare cases a zombie is able

to retain his intelligence and his ability to speak.

But should you ever meet such an exemplar

do not try to communictae with it.

It's best to isolate it.

I'm not a zombie!

Of course you are one. Now shut up!

Life at the american internment camp wasn't easy.

They thought that zombies don't have feelings.

They mistreated us as if we weren't human.

I waited for my chance to escape

and finally, 10 years ago, I could use the events of 9/11 to escape.

We went into hiding, prepared the revolution.

And now, after 40 years, I finally came back to the world.

Our raiding party attacked your comrades

and the biggest cities of this country have already fallen.

I advise you to surrender. Don't wait too long.

I guess that means we're fucked.

Listen.

That's a helicopter.

I knew it. She's just trying to bewilder us.

We shouldn't lose hope.

We should try to reach the roof.

But how do we get there?

It might happen that you're surrounded by dozens of zombies

and you can't find an escape route.

But there's a natural limit

of how many zombies one can kill as a single person.

Therefore, in the next installment of this video

you will see how you can use commodity items to build a device

that efficiently massacres zombies.

In other words: We build a zombie destruction machine!

Well then, thank you and see you in the sequel.

There's a sequel? - That's right. It's on video, too.

Where?

Somewhere in here!

I'm tired of this.

This one isn't it either.

They're here! - Oh no!

What is this?

"The love of mature plump men"

Turn that off, that's private, okay?

I found it, Aiko!

Really?

The wedding video of that singer. - Congratulations.

I found it!

Here we go: Let's build a zombie destruction machine

out of commodity items.

First of all we need a trolley, as our basis.

Do we have a trolley?

Yes, here's one.

ZOMBIE DESTRUCTION MACHINE PARTS - Next we'll need a radio.

Bulbs. A ventilator.

Four batteries. Set squares.

Two plungers.

To all humans.

As you haven't come out yet,

we'll assume that you're not willing to carry on negotiations.

Now accept the consequences: The zombies will attack you!

Are you still not finished?

Hurry up!

Kill them all!

We're finished!

Let's show 'em.

It's not over yet!

Uncle! I have one!

I'm coming!

I'm getting bitten!

Are you okay?

Yes, I think so. Maybe he just wanted to play.

What do you think? -Thank God! Let's hurry!

Uncle!

Help!

Let me see.

Oh no... it's broken.

Leave the garbage behind and come.

Garbage?

Garbage? Garbage?

The zombies will never get us in here.

Come on, to the roof.

Over there. Hey! - Hey! Hey!

They don't see us! Hey!

Even if you're surrounded by zombies

and the situation seems hopeless

you should never give up hope.

If you're able to stay calm

you'll always find a solution.

As long as there's even a tiny chance, you should never give up.

If you give up, then its game over.

But as long as you're alive,

you can still fight for your life.

This day proves that I'm a loser.

I've seen 300 zombie movies,

but I just can't handle real zombies.

Repeatedly you had to rescue me.

What did I do all my life?

When trying to think of ways to help you,

I could only think of stuff from zombie movies.

That's why I brought some with me.

Romero's "Dead" trilogy.

"Return of the Living Dead", part 1 and 2.

"Zombi 2", zombie versus shark.

"The Beyond", zombie in a bathtub.

"Dead and Buried", "Burial Ground", "Nightmare City".

"Hell of the Living Dead", I watch it once a month.

But all the new movies like

"28 Days later" and the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" were really bad.

Real zombies are slow.

I promise to make a better effort from now on.

I'll really try to help you, Aiko, and I...

And? - And I...

What's all this fuss about?

Just surrender already and give me the video.

You're going to get zombified anyway.

No, no, you can keep them.

These movies are totally irrelevant.

No! Watch them. They're really worth your time.

Even you could still learn something about zombies.

What are talking about? I'm not a zombie!

Of course you are a zombie. Did you ever look into a mirror?

She's not a zombie, okay? - She's right, I'm not a zombie!

She's not a zombie! - Kanabun.

Aren't you Kanabun?

What?

It's me. We went to the same elementary school, remember?

I'm Aiko. Aiko Yoshimura.

So you're still alive.

What are you talking about? I'm a zombie.

40 years ago I turned into a zombie together with her and was imprisoned for a long time.

We waited for our chance to take revenge.

We fled 10 years ago and then...

Nonsense! 10 years ago you vanished from school.

There were rumors that you had been kidnapped.

BUNKO KANAYAMA, CLASS 4, NUMBER 2

Now I understand. You've been kidnapped by zombies.

What? What are you talking about?

I hardly remember my past...

Only what Yasude told me in all these years.

Yasude, I'm a zombie, right?

Sister.

Maybe you are a zombie, maybe not.

I needed you,

to prevent me from completely turning into a zombie.

I kept you within my reach

and did everything to remind you how human girls behave.

I let you believe that you're a "smart" zombie, just like myself.

But when I kidnapped you 10 years ago

your life as a normal human being was almost at its end anyway.

So you already were sort of a zombie.

I always wondered why you don't age.

I always wondered why I'm different.

You betrayed me! You're a liar!

No human would lie to that extent! You zombie!

Zombie? I'm a zombie?

Certainly! You're a zombie! I repeat: Zombie!

Zombie! Understood?

Zombie!

I'm not a zombie!

Zombie! You're a mean zombie!

I'm not a zombie!

Zombie! You're a mean zombie!

I'm... I'm...

... a zombie.

Hashimoto!

Aiko!

I always loved you!

What?

If we manage to get out of this alive, will you then be my girlfriend?

I'll do my best!

From now on I'll do my best!

So...

What do you say?

Okay!

Yeah! That's cool! Thank you!

Oh no... there's no hope for me.

I will transform into a zombie!

I didn't think he bit me,

but I guess I was wrong.

The heck with it!

I love zombies! And who knows...

maybe it's better this way.

Yes, you may be right!

Yes, I'm the best!

It is possible: Humans can defeat zombies.

Don't give up. There is a future.

A future without zombies.

Wait a minute. There's another one.

Aiko. There's one more video.

It shows how to stop the zombification.

Stop the... - zombification?

Where is it?

Where the other one was

Really?

I can't believe it. Why didn't you think of that before?

Shit happens...

Hashimoto! We may still be able to rescue you!

Wait here, okay?

Come, uncle. Let's go. - Yes.

I'm not a zombie... - I'm not a zombie...

From all the videos we made during the 80's

we made copies just in case.

At some point the International Zombie Institute sent us some footage

that was supposed to revert the zombification process.

But then... the footage turned out to be a bit delicate,

therefore my predecessor decided to shut it away.

And that's how the movie disappeared into our archive.

Incidentally it was I who hid it there.

Didn't thought I'll ever come back again...

But I'm sure

that we already looked through all these when searching for part 2.

Did we overlook something?

"The love of mature plump men"

Oh my god, not again...

ZOMBIFICATION TREATMENT

It was my idea to hide it like that.

The International Zombie Institute has found out that if victims,

who have been infected with the zombie virus,

are watching certain pictures, the process of zombification,

which has been considered incurable, can be effectively stopped.

Please take a look at this video together with a zombie victim.

I'm not a zombie!

But it will only work in light cases,

in the case of the so called long term zombies,

this method will show no effect whatsoever.

I'm not a zombie!

Okay, let's start.

And this works?

Who knows?

Let's just try it. We'll let Hashimoto have a look.

But what's with Yasude?

One could already see her brain. Will it still work?

Probably not. She's a zombie for 40 years now.

Shit, I forgot about Kanabun. - Wait!

You're talking about your childhood friend? Forget her, she's one of them.

But she isn't a zombie.

I'm going to look for her. - Don't leave me alone.

I'll be right back.

"Dying is of no use...

but why live, if life is without hope..."

Almost...

My whole life I was told I'm a zombie.

But now that I know that I'm not...

What should I do now?

Who am I if I'm not a zombie?

I'm not a zombie.

I'm not a zombie.

I'm not a zombie. - Yasude.

I'm not a zombie.

Yasude... Earlier you tried to bite me.

And that's the proof

that you really are a zombie.

I'm not a zombie.

Here.

Now are you a zombie or not?

Aiko, I hope you'll be back soon...

This video is really weird. I've never watched it.

And I've also never heard of that Zombie Institute.

Does it really exist?

Hashimoto!

You scared me.

We found the video. Now we can help you. I'll rewind it for you.

Hashimoto?

Come on, tell me. Are you a zombie or not?

I am... not...

Tell me! What are you?

You're not a zombie anymore, right?

Kanabun!

What happened to her?

She's no longer a zombie, just lobotomized.

I'm first! I'm first!

She's a lot more accessible this way.

Why don't you leave her behind?

She's like family to me.

I don't mind. But I need your help in finding Hashimoto.

We have to find him before he turns into a zombie. Come, Kanabun.

I have to go now, but I'll be back.

Be good, okay?

I'm first! I'm first!

Hashimoto. There you are.

You're watching the video. Does it work?

Yes, I feel much better.

I think the zombification process has been stopped. - That's great.

But you know what? I have seen 300 zombie movies

but the zombification has never been stopped in such a way.

If you say so.

What comes closest is "The Signal",

which had that noise coming out of the TV.

But that didn't bring healing, instead it made people lose their mind,

and they ended up killing each other.

In the "Demon" movies those who watched the movie turned into zombies,

so the opposite happened and nobody got healed.

That Yasude is also weird.

She's a zombie but she still has feelings.

There are examples of intelligent zombies,

like Bub and Big Daddy from Romero's movies, but those couldn't talk.

I've never seen a zombie that talks as much as her.

Her brain is gone, now she stopped talking.

What? That doesn't make sense!

All's well that end's well.

Zombies die without a brain.

That's their weakest point!

Zombie movie fans will be very angry when they hear about this!

About that thing we talked about earlier, Aiko...

What do you mean?

You know, that you become my girlfriend...

Oh, that...

Were you sincere?

Well, how should I say it... It was an extreme situation.

And what does this mean now?

I'm sorry.

You lied!

No, I wouldn't say that.

I just need some time to think it over.

What is it?

Uncle!

Is it because...

I'm a nerd?

The video didn't work.

Apparently not. At least he doesn't look like a zombie.

More like...

He looks even worse than a zombie.

But I'm not a zombie anymore!

I'm not a zombie anymore!

Why don't you want to be my girlfriend?

Because I'm a creepy nerd?

Because I'm a boring nerd?

He's done!

Aiko. The video.

You have to destroy the video.

The video itself is infected. It's a zombie video.

In short: a zomvideo. Understood?

I don't like abbreviations, but...

Understood!

Aiko! I love you!

And you really want to stay here?

Yes, I can handle it.

I lived among zombies for 10 years. That makes me an expert.

I'm first! I'm first!

That's really crazy. Hashimoto would freak out.

And you're intent on going?

Yes.

There must be more survivors out there. And I'm gonna find them.

Wow, amazing...

Okay.

Catch me if you can.

I'm first! I'm first!

ZOMVIDEO