All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S09E10 - Somethings Rotten WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,724 --> 00:00:04,275 - You remember that girl I was telling you about? 2 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,517 I think it's that time to introduce her to Mom and Dad. 3 00:00:06,620 --> 00:00:07,620 - Hi. - Hi. 4 00:00:07,724 --> 00:00:09,241 - How many of these girls we gotta meet? 5 00:00:09,344 --> 00:00:10,551 - What about Miranda? 6 00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:12,310 - I'm in love with Laura. I'm moving on. 7 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,620 - Miss Ella, I really like your son. 8 00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,413 - I like him too sometimes. 9 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,655 - Don't be surprised if she just shows up. 10 00:00:18,758 --> 00:00:20,137 - Hi! 11 00:00:20,241 --> 00:00:21,758 Laura? - Hi. 12 00:00:21,862 --> 00:00:22,965 - You two know each other? 13 00:00:23,068 --> 00:00:24,344 - We work together. 14 00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:26,517 - Wait, what are y'all not telling me about Miranda? 15 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:28,482 - You got a stalker on your hands. 16 00:00:28,586 --> 00:00:29,724 - What's going on? 17 00:00:29,827 --> 00:00:31,482 - Oh Lord. 18 00:00:33,586 --> 00:00:35,896 - ♪ 19 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,689 - Hi. - Hi. 20 00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:40,000 - How are you? 21 00:00:40,103 --> 00:00:41,862 - I'm really good. 22 00:00:41,965 --> 00:00:43,344 - Good. 23 00:00:43,448 --> 00:00:45,448 - I'm a little surprised to see you here. 24 00:00:45,551 --> 00:00:48,551 - You know, I could say the same. 25 00:00:48,655 --> 00:00:49,862 - Uh, yeah. 26 00:00:49,965 --> 00:00:52,000 So what are you doing here? 27 00:00:52,103 --> 00:00:56,724 - So, yeah. [laughing] 28 00:00:56,827 --> 00:01:00,482 Miss Ella. Miss Ella. - [crying] 29 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,103 - Miss Ella and I are family. 30 00:01:04,206 --> 00:01:05,793 - What? - MIRANDA: Mm. 31 00:01:05,896 --> 00:01:06,931 - [moans] 32 00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,827 - Well, that's great. 33 00:01:08,931 --> 00:01:12,827 What a small world. [laughs] 34 00:01:12,931 --> 00:01:15,379 - You could say that again. 35 00:01:15,482 --> 00:01:16,724 - Wow. 36 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:20,517 - [crying] 37 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:22,827 - Is she your mom? 38 00:01:22,931 --> 00:01:25,379 - No. 39 00:01:25,482 --> 00:01:28,241 I would like to think more like a sister. 40 00:01:28,344 --> 00:01:30,103 I mean, go with that. 41 00:01:30,206 --> 00:01:32,827 Hello. Close in age. 42 00:01:32,931 --> 00:01:34,862 - I--I didn't mean any harm. 43 00:01:34,965 --> 00:01:36,482 - None taken. 44 00:01:36,586 --> 00:01:38,068 - I'm sorry, really. 45 00:01:38,172 --> 00:01:39,689 - It's okay. 46 00:01:39,793 --> 00:01:41,586 - So, help me out with this. 47 00:01:41,689 --> 00:01:43,068 - What are you doing here? 48 00:01:43,172 --> 00:01:45,172 - Oooh. [laughing] 49 00:01:45,275 --> 00:01:48,137 The new guy that I was telling you about. 50 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,862 He just introduced me to her. 51 00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:52,827 - Oh, wh--ah-ah-- 52 00:01:52,931 --> 00:01:55,724 [coughing] - ELLA: Yes. 53 00:01:55,827 --> 00:01:58,275 - And he was like telling me how great she was, 54 00:01:58,379 --> 00:01:59,827 and how he wanted me to meet her. 55 00:01:59,931 --> 00:02:02,000 - I am. - [laughs] 56 00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:03,689 - Yeah. - And, um, yeah. 57 00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:06,000 And I told you how nervous I was about meeting her. 58 00:02:06,103 --> 00:02:07,758 - Yeah. - Right. [laughs] 59 00:02:07,862 --> 00:02:10,965 But she is amazing. [laughs] 60 00:02:11,068 --> 00:02:12,034 - Thank you. 61 00:02:12,137 --> 00:02:15,827 - That she is. - [laughs] 62 00:02:15,931 --> 00:02:19,896 - I mean, there was nothing to worry about at all. 63 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,724 - You know--[laughs]-- there may be. 64 00:02:23,827 --> 00:02:26,000 - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 65 00:02:26,103 --> 00:02:28,172 - What's that? 66 00:02:28,275 --> 00:02:30,103 Oh wait. - ELLA: Wait. 67 00:02:30,206 --> 00:02:32,172 - Yeah. 68 00:02:32,275 --> 00:02:33,862 - Wait, what? - Wait, I'm-- 69 00:02:33,965 --> 00:02:35,034 I'm so sorry. - You know, 70 00:02:35,137 --> 00:02:37,482 and I am so confused. 71 00:02:37,586 --> 00:02:40,620 - And so am I. What is going on? 72 00:02:40,724 --> 00:02:42,551 - [deep breath] 73 00:02:42,655 --> 00:02:45,862 - You know, Miss Ella, that is the question I have for you: 74 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,241 what's going on? 75 00:02:47,344 --> 00:02:49,620 - I don't know. She came over here. 76 00:02:49,724 --> 00:02:51,896 She came over here with, um-- - Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. 77 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,344 You just--to who? Say it. 78 00:02:53,448 --> 00:02:54,965 - You got this. You already know. 79 00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:56,517 - Just say it. - Curtis. 80 00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:59,551 - Oh, Calvin? 81 00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:01,344 - Yeah. 82 00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:02,724 Yeah. 83 00:03:02,827 --> 00:03:05,758 - [laughs] 84 00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:09,103 Is this the guy that you've been telling me about? 85 00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:10,965 - Yes. 86 00:03:11,068 --> 00:03:12,551 Why? 87 00:03:12,655 --> 00:03:15,862 - Well, because he's my husband. 88 00:03:17,206 --> 00:03:18,586 - What? - Mm. 89 00:03:18,689 --> 00:03:20,896 - Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. 90 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:27,793 - ♪ 91 00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:36,896 ♪ 92 00:03:39,068 --> 00:03:41,344 ♪♪ 93 00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:47,689 - [laughing] 94 00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:49,793 Calvin is my husband. 95 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,448 - What? - Well, well, actually... 96 00:03:52,551 --> 00:03:54,241 he's more like your--[laughs]-- 97 00:03:54,344 --> 00:03:57,517 he's more like your soon-to-be ex-husband. 98 00:04:00,103 --> 00:04:01,689 - Really, Miss Ella? 99 00:04:01,793 --> 00:04:02,689 - Right? 100 00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:04,586 - Is he here? 101 00:04:04,689 --> 00:04:06,310 Don't--don't do that. 102 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,862 Don't do that. - ELLA: Why? 103 00:04:07,965 --> 00:04:10,068 Okay. Okay. 104 00:04:10,172 --> 00:04:11,655 - Is he here? - Yes. 105 00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:13,689 Yes. Yes. 106 00:04:13,793 --> 00:04:14,724 Excuse me. 107 00:04:17,379 --> 00:04:19,275 The knives are not in here. 108 00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:23,413 - You don't have to worry about it. He does though. 109 00:04:25,586 --> 00:04:27,206 - Ouch. 110 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:30,448 - Uh, Calvin. - Uh, hey, babe. 111 00:04:30,551 --> 00:04:31,551 You coming--it's a good part. 112 00:04:31,655 --> 00:04:32,965 You came in right-- this is a good part. 113 00:04:33,068 --> 00:04:35,172 - Curtis, I don't care anything about watching that movie. 114 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,758 - What? Come on, baby. You ain't doing nothing. 115 00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:38,620 - What? [laughs] 116 00:04:38,724 --> 00:04:40,241 What? What? 117 00:04:40,344 --> 00:04:42,103 - Woman's work. 118 00:04:42,206 --> 00:04:44,000 Okay. - Curtis, you keep it up, 119 00:04:44,103 --> 00:04:45,275 and this woman is gonna be in that bedroom 120 00:04:45,379 --> 00:04:47,137 by herself tonight. 121 00:04:48,448 --> 00:04:49,655 - Okay, sorry, baby. - Yeah. 122 00:04:49,758 --> 00:04:52,103 And I love it when I'm in there by myself at night. 123 00:04:52,206 --> 00:04:55,862 - Who gonna plug up your CPAP? 124 00:04:55,965 --> 00:04:59,413 - That's your CPAP. 125 00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:00,827 - Ssh. 126 00:05:00,931 --> 00:05:02,241 - Calvin? - What's going on? 127 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,586 He's watching a movie, baby. 128 00:05:03,689 --> 00:05:07,724 - Curtis, I need to talk to him. 129 00:05:07,827 --> 00:05:09,275 [laughs] Come on, baby. 130 00:05:09,379 --> 00:05:10,241 - What? - ELLA: Cal-- 131 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,793 - You like her, don't you? 132 00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:13,862 - Yes, I do. 133 00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,413 - I know, I know. 134 00:05:15,517 --> 00:05:17,620 She may be the next Mrs. Payne. 135 00:05:17,724 --> 00:05:22,413 - Well, baby, you have a few Mrs. Paynes in the kitchen. 136 00:05:22,517 --> 00:05:23,793 - I knew you would like her. 137 00:05:23,896 --> 00:05:25,241 She's so special. 138 00:05:25,344 --> 00:05:26,862 - Yeah. - And she's so sweet. 139 00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:29,275 Ain't she sweet, Mama? - Oh, she is sweet. 140 00:05:32,137 --> 00:05:33,931 Calvin? 141 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,137 Calvin! - Baby, 142 00:05:35,241 --> 00:05:37,482 quit calling on his name. 143 00:05:37,586 --> 00:05:40,103 - Ooh-ooh! 144 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:41,517 Whooo! 145 00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:43,344 - Can't stand watching movies with black people. 146 00:05:45,068 --> 00:05:46,000 - Say what? 147 00:05:46,103 --> 00:05:47,413 - I'm gonna go get white friends. 148 00:05:47,517 --> 00:05:50,206 Y'all talk too much. 149 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:51,758 White people stay quiet in the theater. 150 00:05:53,827 --> 00:05:56,068 Black people talk back. 151 00:05:56,172 --> 00:05:57,275 "What are you doing?" 152 00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,068 - Calvin! - Yeah? 153 00:06:01,172 --> 00:06:05,034 - You have a situation in the kitchen. 154 00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:06,448 - Okay, what is it? 155 00:06:06,551 --> 00:06:07,965 - Miranda is in there. 156 00:06:09,758 --> 00:06:11,689 - What is she doing in there? - I don't know. 157 00:06:13,655 --> 00:06:17,137 Well, she knows your, um-- 158 00:06:17,241 --> 00:06:19,448 - Laura? - Yeah. Yeah. 159 00:06:19,551 --> 00:06:21,206 - How does she know her? 160 00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:22,517 - I don't know, she said something about 161 00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:23,862 they work together. I don't know what-- 162 00:06:23,965 --> 00:06:25,206 I don't know. 163 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:26,689 Come on. 164 00:06:26,793 --> 00:06:28,827 - What? They all in the kitchen now? 165 00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:32,896 - Is you listening to me? - Oh, why can't I get my phone? 166 00:06:34,206 --> 00:06:35,517 - Miranda? 167 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:36,689 - Calvin. 168 00:06:36,793 --> 00:06:40,448 - Calvin, you didn't tell me you knew her. 169 00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:42,344 - You didn't tell me you knew her. 170 00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:44,448 - Well, we don't talk. 171 00:06:44,551 --> 00:06:45,965 - Well, you have a point. 172 00:06:46,068 --> 00:06:48,137 - So, why would I tell you that? 173 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,241 - Uh, good question. 174 00:06:49,344 --> 00:06:50,896 - Wait. 175 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,103 You don't talk to her? 176 00:06:52,206 --> 00:06:55,068 - No. He doesn't. 177 00:06:55,172 --> 00:06:57,172 - Okay. 178 00:06:57,275 --> 00:07:00,172 - So-- - Don't say anything. 179 00:07:00,275 --> 00:07:01,724 - I wasn't gonna say anything. 180 00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:04,000 - What are you doing here? - I-- 181 00:07:04,103 --> 00:07:05,551 - I think she came to see Ella. 182 00:07:08,758 --> 00:07:10,379 Baby, didn't I tell you to stop talking to that girl? 183 00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:14,241 You see what you caused? 184 00:07:14,344 --> 00:07:15,551 - Will you hush? 185 00:07:18,551 --> 00:07:21,344 - You know what? This is really turning out good. 186 00:07:21,448 --> 00:07:23,482 I'm gonna send this to Ridiculousness. 187 00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:26,103 But y'all gotta do something really crazy. 188 00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:27,241 Make it natural. 189 00:07:27,344 --> 00:07:29,517 - Curtis! 190 00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:31,517 - I am so sorry, Miranda. 191 00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,344 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, you don't have to apologize to her. 192 00:07:33,448 --> 00:07:34,758 - I think I should. 193 00:07:34,862 --> 00:07:35,827 - Why? 194 00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:39,344 - Ugh, well, she's my friend and... 195 00:07:39,448 --> 00:07:41,448 I didn't know you two were married. 196 00:07:41,551 --> 00:07:45,068 - Look, married-- - I'm sorry, Calvin. 197 00:07:45,172 --> 00:07:46,931 I think I should go. 198 00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,379 - Wait. Why? 199 00:07:48,482 --> 00:07:50,862 - I just--I don't think this is going to work. 200 00:07:50,965 --> 00:07:52,000 - Why? 201 00:07:53,551 --> 00:07:57,206 - I think I already know a lot about you. 202 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,517 - Look, Laura-- - I'm gonna go. 203 00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:01,655 - Okay, well, I'll take you home. 204 00:08:02,931 --> 00:08:04,379 - I drove. 205 00:08:04,482 --> 00:08:05,862 I'm good. 206 00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:08,551 Bye. 207 00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:13,068 - That was good. 208 00:08:13,172 --> 00:08:14,965 That was really nice. 209 00:08:15,068 --> 00:08:16,172 And close up. - Curtis. 210 00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:19,103 - She got you like that, boy? - ELLA: Curtis. 211 00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:21,137 Get out of here. - What? 212 00:08:21,241 --> 00:08:22,827 - Go in the bedroom. 213 00:08:22,931 --> 00:08:26,551 - Why you trying to get me in the bedroom, girl? 214 00:08:26,655 --> 00:08:29,344 - I'm just trying to get you out of here. 215 00:08:29,448 --> 00:08:34,448 - I'm gonna go, and you come on to the bedroom, you hear me? 216 00:08:34,551 --> 00:08:36,379 - If you don't get out of here. 217 00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:40,724 - Tear that ass up. 218 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,068 - What did you say to her? - Calvin. 219 00:08:47,172 --> 00:08:48,344 - Look, married--we're over. 220 00:08:48,448 --> 00:08:49,896 You know that. - I know! 221 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,793 - Why are you talking about me to people? 222 00:08:51,896 --> 00:08:54,620 - Calvin, I never said your name. 223 00:08:54,724 --> 00:08:56,000 - Well, what did you say to her? 224 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,379 - I didn't know that the two of you were gonna date. 225 00:08:59,689 --> 00:09:01,068 - Why are you here? 226 00:09:01,172 --> 00:09:02,586 - Calvin-- - Get out. 227 00:09:02,689 --> 00:09:04,241 - Calvin-- - I said get out. 228 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:05,344 - But-- 229 00:09:05,448 --> 00:09:07,344 - Hold on now, this--this my house. 230 00:09:07,448 --> 00:09:08,758 - Right. - It's my house. 231 00:09:08,862 --> 00:09:10,310 - And mine. 232 00:09:10,413 --> 00:09:11,931 - Is it, babe? 233 00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:14,103 - Curtis, not now. 234 00:09:18,413 --> 00:09:20,689 You can't put her out of here. 235 00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:23,344 - You know what? Fine, I'll leave. 236 00:09:23,448 --> 00:09:26,482 - Calvin, you-- 237 00:09:26,586 --> 00:09:29,310 - That's all it take to get you to leave? 238 00:09:29,413 --> 00:09:30,793 Hell, we should have done that years ago. 239 00:09:30,896 --> 00:09:34,413 - CALVIN: It's not funny, Pops. - Nah, it's pretty funny. 240 00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:38,413 [indistinct mumbling] 241 00:09:38,517 --> 00:09:40,827 Well, Ella-- - Curtis, please. 242 00:09:43,206 --> 00:09:44,482 - Okay, baby. 243 00:09:44,586 --> 00:09:46,793 I just wanna get me a beer. 244 00:09:46,896 --> 00:09:49,551 - And hurry up, baby, you see that she's upset. 245 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,034 - I'm about to upset this beer. 246 00:09:51,137 --> 00:09:52,586 [chuckles] 247 00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:55,000 - Get the beer and get out of here. 248 00:09:55,103 --> 00:09:56,689 - Okay, baby. I hear you. 249 00:09:56,793 --> 00:09:59,448 You want me to get the beer, and get out. 250 00:09:59,551 --> 00:10:01,517 I'm gonna have to edit this. 251 00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:02,620 - Really? - Some good stuff though. 252 00:10:02,724 --> 00:10:04,379 What's up? What you wanna talk about? 253 00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:08,586 - [sobbing] - Don't do this. 254 00:10:08,689 --> 00:10:10,000 - You want me to go, babe? 255 00:10:10,103 --> 00:10:11,758 - I want-- - [sniffs] 256 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,413 - How many times do I have to ask you? 257 00:10:13,517 --> 00:10:15,000 - Open this for me, baby. 258 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,034 Do it with your teeth. You know how you do it. 259 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,413 Can I--thank you. 260 00:10:24,517 --> 00:10:26,517 - Are you serious? 261 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:28,724 - I--I just--I gotta get my grip. 262 00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:31,241 - It's--it's okay. - You don't want it? 263 00:10:31,344 --> 00:10:33,137 - No. - Throw that away, baby. 264 00:10:39,310 --> 00:10:40,827 - [moans] 265 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,137 - [sighs] 266 00:10:47,344 --> 00:10:48,448 - Oh, Dad, Dad, watch this part. 267 00:10:48,551 --> 00:10:50,413 Watch this part. - Oh, that's crazy. 268 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:53,344 Holy cow. - Ooh. 269 00:10:53,448 --> 00:10:55,862 No, no, no, don't--don't do it! Don't do it! 270 00:10:57,551 --> 00:10:59,482 You scared already? 271 00:10:59,586 --> 00:11:00,482 - I ain't scared, boy. 272 00:11:00,586 --> 00:11:02,068 I'm just watching the movie. 273 00:11:02,172 --> 00:11:03,482 I mean, it's intense. 274 00:11:03,586 --> 00:11:05,965 - Alright. 275 00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:08,551 - Ooh! - Oh! 276 00:11:08,655 --> 00:11:11,965 - This is good. - [chuckles] 277 00:11:12,068 --> 00:11:13,413 - I got you, ha. 278 00:11:13,517 --> 00:11:16,620 I wasn't scared, I was just--I got you, you know what I mean? 279 00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:18,344 I'm just--I wasn't jumping. 280 00:11:18,448 --> 00:11:20,000 - Yeah, right, Dad. 281 00:11:20,103 --> 00:11:22,000 - It's a good movie. 282 00:11:22,103 --> 00:11:23,482 - Yeah, it's pretty good. 283 00:11:25,275 --> 00:11:26,413 Oh, hold on. 284 00:11:26,517 --> 00:11:27,655 Here come the scary part. 285 00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:34,586 Dad, why--why aren't you looking? 286 00:11:34,689 --> 00:11:37,862 - I seen--I've seen this part already. 287 00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,068 - No, you didn't. 288 00:11:39,172 --> 00:11:40,551 This just came out. 289 00:11:45,379 --> 00:11:47,000 Look, come on, just watch, Dad. 290 00:11:47,103 --> 00:11:49,241 - I'm watching, man, what's wrong with you? 291 00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:50,482 - You keep looking away. 292 00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:52,275 You're scared! 293 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,137 - All that blood, man. 294 00:11:54,241 --> 00:11:56,310 - Didn't you go into the delivery room with Mom 295 00:11:56,413 --> 00:11:58,000 five times? 296 00:11:58,103 --> 00:12:00,241 - Four. 297 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:03,034 - Same difference. 298 00:12:03,137 --> 00:12:04,103 So watch it. 299 00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,068 - I'm watching! 300 00:12:06,172 --> 00:12:07,172 - Come on, man. 301 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:09,793 Dad, really. 302 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,379 - I told you I'm watching, man. 303 00:12:11,482 --> 00:12:14,137 I could do two things at once. 304 00:12:14,241 --> 00:12:15,862 - Okay. 305 00:12:15,965 --> 00:12:19,551 You know, this is not an example a man should set for his son. 306 00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,137 - Boy, I'm watching the movie, shut up. 307 00:12:26,689 --> 00:12:28,413 - What's with the fingers, man? 308 00:12:28,517 --> 00:12:29,965 How you gonna see? 309 00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:34,655 - BOTH: [gasp] 310 00:12:34,758 --> 00:12:36,172 - Wait, why you jumping? 311 00:12:36,275 --> 00:12:38,344 - I thought you wasn't scared. 312 00:12:38,448 --> 00:12:39,517 - You the one not supposed to be scared. 313 00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:40,655 You jumping. 314 00:12:40,758 --> 00:12:42,379 - You jumped, too. 315 00:12:42,482 --> 00:12:45,275 - I never said I wasn't scared. 316 00:12:45,379 --> 00:12:47,655 - BOTH: Oh! 317 00:12:47,758 --> 00:12:51,413 - Boy, what you doing breaking up my good shit? 318 00:12:51,517 --> 00:12:53,482 - Dad, the cursing. 319 00:12:53,586 --> 00:12:55,241 - It's my shit. 320 00:12:55,344 --> 00:12:56,827 - Look, I'm sorry. 321 00:12:56,931 --> 00:12:58,275 - Man, what's gotten into you? 322 00:12:58,379 --> 00:12:59,344 - Miranda. 323 00:12:59,448 --> 00:13:00,551 - Ooh God. 324 00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,724 - Ugh, man. 325 00:13:02,827 --> 00:13:04,965 You gotta chill out on all of that. 326 00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:06,482 - Malik. 327 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:09,620 - What? Man, you can't come in here slamming doors and stuff. 328 00:13:09,724 --> 00:13:11,413 What's your problem? 329 00:13:11,517 --> 00:13:13,068 - I said I'm sorry. 330 00:13:13,172 --> 00:13:14,206 - Are you really though? 331 00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,206 - Malik. 332 00:13:16,310 --> 00:13:17,586 - Nah, Dad. 333 00:13:17,689 --> 00:13:19,758 Is he really sorry? 334 00:13:19,862 --> 00:13:21,896 I mean, people do things all the time. 335 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,620 But are they really sorry? 336 00:13:25,724 --> 00:13:27,724 - CJ, you might wanna get your son. 337 00:13:27,827 --> 00:13:29,448 - He's a grown man. 338 00:13:29,551 --> 00:13:31,793 - Oh, so you gonna let me hurt your son? 339 00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:33,103 - Yes. 340 00:13:33,206 --> 00:13:35,413 - Dad, you really gonna let him hit me? 341 00:13:35,517 --> 00:13:38,000 - That's what Uncle Curtis would do. 342 00:13:38,103 --> 00:13:39,482 - Now you know he not a good parent. 343 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:40,793 You gonna listen to him? 344 00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,586 That's really bad parenting, Dad. 345 00:13:44,689 --> 00:13:46,896 - I mean, you grown. 346 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,827 Son, you were my first child. 347 00:13:48,931 --> 00:13:51,344 We made a lot of mistakes with you. 348 00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:53,103 - Yeah, I see that. 349 00:13:53,206 --> 00:13:56,172 - They still showing up. 350 00:13:56,275 --> 00:13:57,896 Mm. 351 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,448 Speaking of bad parenting, remember that time that bully 352 00:14:00,551 --> 00:14:02,137 was messing with you, Calvin? 353 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,724 - Look, not now. 354 00:14:03,827 --> 00:14:05,448 - No, no, no, this is good. 355 00:14:05,551 --> 00:14:07,137 - Yeah, tell me, what happened? 356 00:14:07,241 --> 00:14:10,172 - Calvin had this bully that was always messing with him. 357 00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:15,034 This dude was like 6'6" in the third grade. 358 00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:17,931 - What? - I mean, he was huge. 359 00:14:18,034 --> 00:14:21,241 Dreadlocks, he--I think he in jail right now. 360 00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:25,000 And, look, he was chasing Calvin home from school. 361 00:14:25,103 --> 00:14:27,172 Calvin was running, Uncle Curtis seen him 362 00:14:27,275 --> 00:14:30,620 and ran in and locked the door. - What? 363 00:14:30,724 --> 00:14:32,965 - Yeah, man, Calvin was crying. 364 00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:34,689 - [laughs] 365 00:14:34,793 --> 00:14:37,482 - Uncle Curtis said, "Hey, you go out there, 366 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:43,206 "and you fight that boy or I'm locking you out for good! 367 00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:47,896 You go out there and you fight that boy, you hear me?" 368 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,862 - Dad, that's good. You sound just like him. 369 00:14:49,965 --> 00:14:51,000 - Listen-- - You sound just like him. 370 00:14:51,103 --> 00:14:53,896 What happened? - I beat him up. 371 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,413 - That boy beat the brakes off of Calvin. 372 00:14:55,517 --> 00:14:57,310 Beat him bloody. 373 00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:59,103 - No, he didn't. 374 00:14:59,206 --> 00:15:00,103 - Hey, look, look. 375 00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:02,000 Uncle Curtis went outside. - Yeah? 376 00:15:02,103 --> 00:15:04,103 - And the boy beat up Uncle Curtis, too. 377 00:15:04,206 --> 00:15:05,862 - What? [laughs] 378 00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:07,689 - Uncle Curtis came running back in, talking about, 379 00:15:07,793 --> 00:15:09,241 "C.J.! C.J.! 380 00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:12,068 Damn, why you ain't tell me that boy was a man child?" 381 00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:14,344 - C.J. AND MALIK: [laughing] 382 00:15:14,448 --> 00:15:15,344 - Beat 'em both. 383 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,758 - What? For real. - C.J.: Yes, sir. 384 00:15:16,862 --> 00:15:18,379 - Are we gonna talk about me today? 385 00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,758 - Wait, wait, wait. 386 00:15:19,862 --> 00:15:21,517 That bully beat you and your daddy up? 387 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:22,586 - C.J.: Beat 'em both. - No. 388 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,344 No, but I'm about to beat you up. 389 00:15:24,448 --> 00:15:27,862 - Oh. What happened then? 390 00:15:27,965 --> 00:15:29,413 - I'm not talking to you. 391 00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:30,482 You're a kid. 392 00:15:30,586 --> 00:15:31,620 - Tch. 393 00:15:31,724 --> 00:15:34,448 Man, I'm a grown man. 394 00:15:34,551 --> 00:15:35,586 Tell him, Dad. 395 00:15:35,689 --> 00:15:36,896 - He grown. 396 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,241 And he give good advice. 397 00:15:38,344 --> 00:15:39,413 - You see? 398 00:15:39,517 --> 00:15:41,551 What's going on, brother? 399 00:15:41,655 --> 00:15:44,310 - Go on, tell him. 400 00:15:44,413 --> 00:15:45,344 - Are you really doing this? 401 00:15:45,448 --> 00:15:46,413 - Yeah, yeah, we both here. 402 00:15:46,517 --> 00:15:47,862 We both listening. 403 00:15:47,965 --> 00:15:50,517 - Okay, so you know the girl I was seeing? 404 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,448 - Pay up. 405 00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:53,896 - Damn. - What? 406 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,758 - Come on, Dad, pay up. I tried to tell you. 407 00:15:55,862 --> 00:15:57,793 - You gonna take my last? - I--I got to. I got to. 408 00:15:57,896 --> 00:15:58,793 - This is my last. 409 00:15:58,896 --> 00:16:02,482 - I'm sorry, boss man. [laughs] 410 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:03,827 - What are y'all betting? 411 00:16:03,931 --> 00:16:05,862 - That you would take that girl home and all hell 412 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,724 would break loose. 413 00:16:08,827 --> 00:16:10,000 - How did you know that? 414 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,931 - I told you that Miranda was still after you. 415 00:16:13,034 --> 00:16:15,137 - Yo, this is crazy, man. 416 00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:16,758 - What happened? 417 00:16:16,862 --> 00:16:19,310 - So...we're at my parents' house. 418 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:22,172 And apparently, the two of them know each other. 419 00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:24,448 - Who? - Miranda and Laura. 420 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:25,482 - What? 421 00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:26,482 - CALVIN: Yes. - Really? 422 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:27,758 - And get this. 423 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,689 Miranda's been telling that girl about me. 424 00:16:29,793 --> 00:16:31,758 - What she been saying? 425 00:16:31,862 --> 00:16:33,482 - Well, nothing good, 'cause Laura 426 00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:35,448 doesn't wanna talk to me anymore. 427 00:16:35,551 --> 00:16:36,793 - Wait. 428 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,241 - No, no, I got this. 429 00:16:38,344 --> 00:16:39,965 I got this. 430 00:16:40,068 --> 00:16:41,827 - How do they know each other? 431 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,172 - And did they plan this? 432 00:16:45,275 --> 00:16:46,448 - See, that's what I was gonna say. 433 00:16:46,551 --> 00:16:47,655 - Right. 434 00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:48,931 - You see, we right here with it. 435 00:16:49,034 --> 00:16:50,827 - Great minds. - That's why you--you my son. 436 00:16:50,931 --> 00:16:51,931 You my son. - Hey, for real. 437 00:16:52,034 --> 00:16:53,413 - No, no, no, no, no. 438 00:16:53,517 --> 00:16:55,413 They--they don't, because they were talking about me without 439 00:16:55,517 --> 00:16:57,034 mentioning my name. 440 00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:58,241 - Really? 441 00:16:58,344 --> 00:16:59,724 - You know what? That don't sound right to me. 442 00:16:59,827 --> 00:17:01,275 - That's what I was saying. 443 00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:02,137 - Mm-hmm. 444 00:17:02,241 --> 00:17:04,724 Sounds like a-- - Setup. 445 00:17:04,827 --> 00:17:08,275 - Right. - You see? 446 00:17:08,379 --> 00:17:09,448 - You think so? 447 00:17:09,551 --> 00:17:10,655 - Yeah, man. 448 00:17:10,758 --> 00:17:14,379 Miranda probably set this whole thing up. Tch. 449 00:17:14,482 --> 00:17:15,724 - No, no, she didn't. 450 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:18,068 - Yeah, that's--that's a bit overboard. 451 00:17:18,172 --> 00:17:21,241 - No, but on second thought, you did say she was after me. 452 00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:24,551 - You think she would do something like this? 453 00:17:24,655 --> 00:17:25,655 - Yes. 454 00:17:25,758 --> 00:17:27,413 I think she would. - No, man. 455 00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:31,655 - Come on, man, you know how women go crazy over me. 456 00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:32,758 - You did have 'em. 457 00:17:32,862 --> 00:17:34,241 - Do they? 458 00:17:34,344 --> 00:17:36,344 - Yeah. 459 00:17:36,448 --> 00:17:38,103 - [chuckles] Okay. 460 00:17:41,275 --> 00:17:42,827 - What? 461 00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:44,344 - I mean, it's alright, Cousin Calvin. 462 00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:45,551 That's your belief. 463 00:17:45,655 --> 00:17:48,965 [laughs] 464 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,827 - But that's--that's not funny. 465 00:17:50,931 --> 00:17:55,241 - Oh no, it's fine, you're just stuck in another time and space, 466 00:17:55,344 --> 00:17:56,310 it's alright. 467 00:17:56,413 --> 00:17:58,379 - Okay, what--what does that even mean? 468 00:17:58,482 --> 00:18:04,172 - Well, women and girls used to go crazy over you. 469 00:18:04,275 --> 00:18:06,896 You're kind of elderly now. 470 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,448 - Boy--boy, are you kidding me? 471 00:18:09,551 --> 00:18:10,758 - I mean, come on, man. 472 00:18:10,862 --> 00:18:13,034 You got kids. 473 00:18:13,137 --> 00:18:15,655 - And? - Belly going on. 474 00:18:15,758 --> 00:18:17,000 - What? 475 00:18:17,103 --> 00:18:20,793 - Yeah, you--you used to have six-pack, 476 00:18:20,896 --> 00:18:23,413 you know, eh... 477 00:18:23,517 --> 00:18:27,034 just a two. 478 00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:29,758 You know, you--you drive a minivan now. 479 00:18:29,862 --> 00:18:30,965 - I don't drive no minivan. 480 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:34,000 - Uh, you do. 481 00:18:34,103 --> 00:18:37,275 You're just not that young thing anymore. 482 00:18:37,379 --> 00:18:39,379 Like I am. 483 00:18:39,482 --> 00:18:43,172 So, just settle down, you're running out of time, old man. 484 00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:48,310 - Your son? 485 00:18:48,413 --> 00:18:49,068 - It's alright. 486 00:18:49,172 --> 00:18:50,793 I've said my piece. 487 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,172 I'm out. 488 00:18:52,275 --> 00:18:53,172 - Good. 489 00:18:53,275 --> 00:18:55,827 'Cause you was about to be out. 490 00:18:55,931 --> 00:18:58,827 - Alright, old-timer. 491 00:18:58,931 --> 00:18:59,965 - Okay, look. 492 00:19:00,068 --> 00:19:02,413 - So what should I do? 493 00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:03,793 - That's what I was about to say. 494 00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:05,103 I'm--I'm gonna give you some advice. 495 00:19:05,206 --> 00:19:07,000 - Okay, go ahead. 496 00:19:07,103 --> 00:19:08,896 - Miranda... 497 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,482 she not gonna stop. 498 00:19:10,586 --> 00:19:12,655 - Well, she better. 499 00:19:12,758 --> 00:19:15,413 - Well... 500 00:19:15,517 --> 00:19:18,724 you sure you completely over her? 501 00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:21,034 - Yeah, I am. 502 00:19:21,137 --> 00:19:23,034 - That's not what she thinks. 503 00:19:23,137 --> 00:19:26,413 - Well, why would she think any differently? 504 00:19:26,517 --> 00:19:28,896 - Well... 505 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,689 - Huh-uh, huh-uh, tell me. 506 00:19:30,793 --> 00:19:31,862 Tell me. 507 00:19:31,965 --> 00:19:33,655 - Your mama. 508 00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:36,103 - Well, what about her? 509 00:19:36,206 --> 00:19:40,965 - She calls her and asks her how you doing. 510 00:19:41,068 --> 00:19:43,620 - My mama never told me that. 511 00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,586 - You know Aunt Ella. 512 00:19:45,689 --> 00:19:47,482 - What does that mean? 513 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:50,931 - It means she don't want nobody's feelings to get hurt. 514 00:19:51,034 --> 00:19:52,793 She want everybody to be happy. 515 00:19:52,896 --> 00:19:54,896 - Yeah, but I'm her son. 516 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,137 - And she loves her grandkids. 517 00:19:57,241 --> 00:19:59,344 - Okay, but I'm her son. 518 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,931 - And she wanna keep the peace. 519 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,620 - ♪ 520 00:20:06,482 --> 00:20:07,931 - So you're telling me that she's telling her 521 00:20:08,034 --> 00:20:09,862 that I want her? - No, no, no, I didn't say that. 522 00:20:09,965 --> 00:20:11,724 - Then, okay, what are you saying? 523 00:20:14,206 --> 00:20:16,724 - I think you should go talk to Aunt Ella. 524 00:20:16,827 --> 00:20:18,068 - You know what? 525 00:20:18,172 --> 00:20:19,655 I'm gonna do that right now. - Hold up, hold up. 526 00:20:19,758 --> 00:20:20,827 Not today. 527 00:20:20,931 --> 00:20:22,275 - Why not? 528 00:20:22,379 --> 00:20:25,724 - Well, 'cause if she gets mad...she not gonna invite us 529 00:20:25,827 --> 00:20:28,068 over for Sunday dinner. 530 00:20:28,172 --> 00:20:31,724 - Your wife could cook. - Oh. 531 00:20:31,827 --> 00:20:33,344 Have you had my wife's cooking? 532 00:20:36,241 --> 00:20:37,931 - Yes, and I get it. 533 00:20:38,034 --> 00:20:38,896 I get it. 534 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,551 - So wait 'til Monday. 535 00:20:41,655 --> 00:20:42,655 - Okay, I'm gonna try. 536 00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:44,034 - Thank you. 537 00:20:45,137 --> 00:20:47,000 - I did. I can't. 538 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,896 - Where's the love? 539 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,862 Cousin? 540 00:20:51,965 --> 00:20:53,551 We like brothers. 541 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,758 No damn love in this family. 542 00:20:56,862 --> 00:20:59,586 - ♪ 543 00:21:29,724 --> 00:21:31,965 - ♪ 544 00:21:35,413 --> 00:21:38,965 - ♪ 35951

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