Original subtitles

- You still going through the divorce?

Why is it taking so long?

- Miranda keeps trying to get me for more and more.

- He's not giving me what I want.

- Don't she know you ain't got nothing?

- He wasn't ambitious, and now he has a great job.

- Have you tried talking to her?

- She's a woman. - You don't wanna do that.

- Y'all don't think like men. - Thank God.

- He's being everything that I wanted him to be.

- Do you wanna be back together with Calvin?

She's having a really, really hard time with this.

And I was hoping that you could just talk to her.

- If she comes over here to talk to me,

then I will talk to her.

- ♪

- Hi.

- Hi, Miss Ella.

- How are you?

- Um...I'm good. Good. - Good.

What are you doing?

- Um... - Sit--sitting...

...in--in my backyard.

- Yep.

- Okay. - So, um,

how are you? - I'm good.

- Good. - I'm real good.

- Good.

- And how are you?

- I'm not good.

- So, I have to ask twice

to find out how you really are.

[chuckles]

- You did?

- Uh, yes, you didn't hear me?

- No.

- Okay, I came out.

I said, "Hi." You said, "Hi."

I said, "How you doing?"

You said, "I'm good."

And then I said-- - Okay, I get it.

I get it. I get it.

I get it.

- So, are you gonna answer me?

- I'm good. - No.

No, ma'am, you're not good

if you're sitting out here in my backyard.

- [sighs]

Miss Ella, I'm so confused.

- About what?

- About everything.

This divorce and--and--and how I feel.

- How do you feel?

- I feel everything.

- Well, now that is normal, Miranda.

- But is it?

- Yes, it is.

- [sighs]

- I mean, baby, divorce can be hard...

I mean, for so many reasons.

- You know, I just--I just thought it would be

so much easier.

- Why did you think that?

- I don't know, Miss Ella, I just thought we'd get divorced,

and then I'd move on with my life and be happy.

- Well, Miranda, sometimes that does happen.

And then other times it does not happen.

Especially when you have children involved.

- I know. - ELLA: Yes.

- I know.

- Well, have you seen him?

- Only in court.

- Well, do you even talk to him?

- No.

- Why not? - [sighs]

Because every time we talk, it becomes an argument.

- Ah-ha, now is that him or is that you?

- It's both of us.

- Well, I just don't understand that.

- I don't either.

What--what--what do I do?

- I mean, at the very least,

you should be able to talk to the man.

- Oh, Miss Ella, he hates me.

- Mm, I don't believe that.

I don't believe that.

I really don't believe that. - No, no, no, no, no.

He said that he hates me.

- He said out of his mouth that he hate you?

- He said that he wished that he never met me.

- Oh, he means that.

- Miss Ella!

- I'm so sorry. - [sighs]

- No, I'm so sorry. - [sobbing]

- Okay, okay, okay. Not today. Not today.

Not today. Okay. Not today.

Alright. - I mean...

so what do I do?

- Let's pray.

- Okay. - Come on.

- Okay.

- ♪

♪

♪♪

- Oh God, amen. - Amen.

- Mm-hmm. So you feel better?

- [sighs] - ELLA: Oh.

- Strangely, I do.

- See, baby, that's-- that's prayer.

Prayer still works.

- [sighs] Okay, Miss Ella.

Okay.

So, um, what do I do when this wears off?

- Miranda, it's not a pain pill.

- It's not? - ELLA: No, baby.

It's that old-time anointing.

- Sure feels like one.

- Come on, let's go in the kitchen.

- Oh no, I--you know, I should, um...

probably go and relieve the babysitter.

- Okay.

- Okay, thank you. - You're welcome.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

- You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome.

You're welcome. Mwah.

- Love you. - Love you, too.

- [sighs]

- Yes, yes, yes. Hold on to it.

Hold on to it.

Amen.

- Amen. - Amen.

Uh.

Help her. Help me help her.

What?

- You thought I didn't see it?

- Baby, not out here.

- I'm supposed to miss it?

You let that girl in here, Ella.

- What girl?

- Miranda.

- I didn't let her in nowhere.

She was out here in the backyard...stalking.

- Still my domain.

- Curtis, that is your daughter-in-law.

- Ex-daughter-in-law.

- No, they're not divorced yet.

- Ella, why you let her in here?

In my Garden of Eden?

- Garden of Eden?

- It's my sanctuary, Ella.

And you the snake.

- Baby, I am the apple.

- [munch]

- Right.

Curtis, you need to go somewhere and pray

in a sanctuary.

- Yeah, the sanctuary backfired on you, didn't it?

- [laughs]

Like you do all the time.

- What are you talking about?

- Curtis, don't do this.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

- Don't you do it. - Curtis.

- Don't you do it, Ella.

- Curtis, don't do this.

- Don't you dare talk about my gas problem

at a time like this.

- Baby, you really, really need to get that fixed.

- Where are you going? - Curtis, please.

- Huh-uh, I'm-- - Curtis, don't do this.

- I'm gonna fix it right now.

- No, Curtis. [laughs] Curtis.

- I'm about to let go and let God.

- [laughs]

- Pull it. Pull it! - Pull it what?

- Pull it out!

- Curtis, please. - Alright, Ella.

- Curtis, please!

- You leave me no choice. - Curtis.

Curtis, don't do this! Curtis!

Curtis! - --one!

- ♪

- [knocking at door]

- Huh-uh, don't open that door.

- Why?

- It's Miranda, I'm sure.

- How you know that?

- Her perfume.

You can't smell it through the door?

- [knocking at door]

- Don't open that door, I'm--

- Who is it?

- MIRANDA: It's Miranda.

- [whispers] See what I told you?

- Hey. - Hi.

- Oh, Lord.

- What?

- I'm not about to deal with this drama.

- What drama?

- All she wants to do is talk about Calvin.

- Well, hush, you don't know that, okay?

- Alright.

- So how you doing?

- I'm good, I'm good. Hi.

Is your--is your mom here?

- Oh, no, sorry. She's not here.

- Oh, okay.

- Would you like to come in?

- [coughing]

Don't do that. - Malik!

- Yes.

- See, come on in, Miranda. Come on in.

- Ugh, big mistake.

- You know I can hear you, right?

- Uh, I wasn't trying to whisper.

- [sighs]

When's your mom gonna be home?

- Oh, she's working late.

- Yeah, she may not be home 'til tomorrow morning.

- Really? - Yeah.

She's been pulling all-nighters.

All-weekers.

Hard work out there.

- I used to like you.

Well, I guess, I should get going.

- Yeah, yeah, you should be doing that.

- [clears throat]

That's alright, Miranda, you don't have to leave.

- Ah, thank you. - Yes.

Yes, she does.

- You can sit right back down, Miranda.

- You know, I should really be going, because

I don't wanna run into Calvin, so it's fine.

- Oh, don't worry about that.

He's not-- - Here yet.

But, um...yeah, he's coming.

- Is he? - Yeah, he is.

He's actually on his way right now.

You don't wanna--you don't wanna run into him.

- Oh, what--what is he coming by for?

- [sighs] She nosey.

- I'm just asking.

- Well, y'all are getting a divorce, so I mean,

why are you asking?

- You're right, I--I should just get going.

- Yeah.

You're still standing here.

- Am I?

- Yeah. Yeah, you are.

- Miranda, you don't know you standing there?

You're trying to run into him, aren't you?

- No.

- Then shouldn't your feet be moving?

- You know what? You're right.

- Yeah, I think I am.

- Okay, um...

yeah, yeah, I--I--I'll just see you guys later, okay?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- You got a long walk to the door here.

- Just making sure I got everything.

- All you had was a purse when you came in here.

That's in your hand.

Your feet, they still ain't moving.

- Malik.

- This ain't freeze tag.

- Miranda...

you know if you want to talk to him, you can?

- I know.

But, I--I don't wanna talk to him.

- Then why are you still here?

- I actually do agree with him.

You should probably be moving at this point.

- I know when I've worn out my welcome.

- Still wearing it out. [laughs]

- Um...

- Ooh, I never noticed that chandelier.

It's beautiful.

- What chandelier? - Ain't no chandelier.

- What, what?

Okay, um...

You know-- [laughs]

I'll see you guys later.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Damn, Dad, what-- - Boy, watch your mouth.

- Awkward.

- Oh no, this about to get real good.

- Malik? - Yeah?

- Hush. - That's fine.

I was gonna do that anyway.

I'm about to enjoy the show.

- Hi, Miranda.

- Hi.

- Hi, Calvin.

How are you?

- CJ, I gotta go. - Okay.

- Dang.

He can't even say hi to you?

- Malik? - [exhales]

I mean, he was like, "I'm out." [laughs]

- Malik, would you hush?

- I'm just saying, it was kind of sad.

Oh.

- You know what's even sadder?

Is how you acted in your divorce.

- Mm-hmm.

Dad, wasn't he whining? - Mm-hmm.

- And eating cereal at the same time, huh?

- Yep. - You know what?

Y'all gotta stop bringing that up.

- It's the truth.

- That's fine, I'll just sit here and act like

y'all wasn't thinking what I was thinking.

- Miranda, you alright?

- Yeah, I'm okay.

- You sure?

- Yeah. Yes.

- You, uh--you wanna stay for dinner?

- [coughing] Dad.

- Hush.

- If she got to go, she--

- Will you stop it, boy?

- Alright.

- You know what? I--I know I'm not family.

- That does not mean that you're not invited to dinner.

- I don't know if Cousin Calvin will like that.

- Hush! - Just saying.

- He really needs to learn how to just shhh.

- It's fine, I need to go.

I need to go pick up Christian,

but thank you for the invite.

- Okay.

- Goodbye, Miranda.

- [sighs] That's just sad.

Poor thing.

- You know what? That was kinda sad.

- Yeah. That divorce thing, it's just crazy.

- Yeah, good thing you don't have to go through that.

- You're right about that,

'cause I'm never getting married again.

- Mm-hmm, because you couldn't handle it.

- Are you really saying that to me?

- Look, unlike you, I got options, okay?

- What?

- I mean, Dad, let's not sit here and front.

I'm a catch.

- Is that right?

- Yeah, like a bad cold.

- Hush.

- Look, all I'm saying is that I'm never doing it again.

I mean, why get married just to have the government step in

and tell you how you're supposed to separate

when you want a divorce?

I mean, mine took all my money, so--[laughs]

- First of all, Malik,

you didn't have no money.

- I mean, well, why do it then, you know?

- Because it's something called the law.

- Marriage is between two people and God.

- Do you know what you men would be doing to us women

if we didn't have paperwork?

And do you even know God?

- First off, I talked to Him last night.

Second, what?

- You heard me.

- How sexist of you.

- What are you talking about, Malik?

- Do you know what you women would be doing to us men

who have to pay child support?

- Boy.

You're gonna have to square up in a second.

- Hey, hey. - You're gonna have to

square up. - We can be about it.

- We about to--

- Ain't nobody squaring up.

Neither one of you is about to be married.

- Well--[laughs]

- Well, what?

- Nah, I'm just playing with you, Dad.

- Yeah, let me find out you about to be married.

- Well, I wasn't talking about me.

- Who was you talking about?

- Jazmine.

- You about to be married?

- Excuse me? - Go ahead, tell him.

- Tell him what?

- Jazmine, are you about to be married?

- Dad. - What?

- I know you didn't just fall for that.

- Fall for what? I said you're about to be married.

- No, I'm not about to be married!

- When did you even-- - [laughs]

Oh my gosh, look at his face.

[laughs]

Dad, I was just kidding.

- Yeah. - Just kidding.

- Yeah, I knew that. I knew that.

- Wait, hold up.

Why was your outrage so different from Malik?

- Hm.

- No.

I was upset...

with him, as usual. - You're were wired, though.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

[laughs] He don't love you.

- I don't want either of you

getting married.

You're both too young.

- Dad, we know that.

- Yeah, but we're the same age as you and Mom

when y'all started to settle down.

- What?

- Yeah.

- That's actually true. - Exactly.

- Malik, go to bed.

- Man, it's the middle of the day.

- I don't care. You're sleepy.

- Ttch. You know what?

It's fine, Dad.

You just can't handle the truth.

- And you can't handle these fists.

- You know, you're starting to act more and more

like Uncle Curtis.

- Well, if you know that, then you know what's coming next.

- Oh, Lord, he 'bout to fart.

- Oh no!

- What?

It just happens when you get older.

What the hell wrong with y'all?

It's natural.

- ♪

- [laughs] Crazy.

That's crazy.

Hey!

- Hey.

- Hey, why you just walk in here like that?

- I need to talk to Mama.

- She laying down.

- Man, I need some good advice.

- What do I look like to you?

- Bad advice in a bad body.

- Do you know who you're talking to, Son?

I can bench press you.

- Oh yeah, of course you can.

- So what is it?

- Mm-mm.

- Do you know how many people come to me for advice?

Martin Luther de Lawrence.

Saint--Saint--Saint, uh, Jonathan DeMille.

Saint Patrick's Day. He came to me.

Asking me for a lucky charm.

- Pops, this is serious.

- I'm serious.

Preachers come to me.

They talk to Ella about the Bible.

They come to me about the women.

Tell your daddy what it is.

- I'm good. I'll wait to talk to Mama.

- Fine, get out. - Pops.

- No, go on, get out!

Wait for her out there!

- Pops.

- You know she don't love you.

- Yes, she does.

- Mm, it's not what she told me.

- Look, how long is she gonna be napping?

- I don't know if she napping or not,

'cause she might have gone to the bathroom.

And you know that could take weeks.

She pretty, but she constipated.

You know your mama. You know your mama.

- No, that usually would be you.

- What is it, Calvin?

- Look, it's about-- - Miranda?

- Yeah, how'd you know?

- 'Cause she was in the backyard.

- In the backyard for what?

- Talking to your mother.

- And Mama was talking to her?

- Oh now you wanna talk?

- I don't want her talking to her.

- Well, you need to tell her. - Yeah, I will.

- Go on then, go tell her.

- Look, when I divorce somebody, the whole family

supposed to divorce 'em.

- And I agree, Son.

- You know what? You wait 'til she gets up.

- Yeah, you gonna tell her?

- Yeah, I am.

- You gonna tell her just like that?

- Yeah.

- You still need any advice?

- Nah, I got this.

- Ooh, my boy. You got this.

[laughs]

Hey, can I give you a little piece, though?

- What?

- When you tell her, you better run like hell,

'cause she's short, but she fast.

And don't let her have gas.

Ah!

See, you get that, how that rhyme?

Short and gas?

Short gas.

If she let one go, she speeds up.

- Pops, you're talking about yourself.

- If she let one go, she actually--she speeds up.

She gets air driven.

She get rocket thought-- rocket shot.

Jet engine shot.

Pfft.

I'm sorry, that's a wet one.

- ♪

- ♪