All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S09E07 - Love and Hate WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,689 --> 00:00:03,827 - You still going through the divorce? 2 00:00:03,931 --> 00:00:05,310 Why is it taking so long? 3 00:00:05,413 --> 00:00:07,034 - Miranda keeps trying to get me for more and more. 4 00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,034 - He's not giving me what I want. 5 00:00:09,137 --> 00:00:10,344 - Don't she know you ain't got nothing? 6 00:00:10,448 --> 00:00:13,862 - He wasn't ambitious, and now he has a great job. 7 00:00:13,965 --> 00:00:15,517 - Have you tried talking to her? 8 00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:17,344 - She's a woman. - You don't wanna do that. 9 00:00:17,448 --> 00:00:19,206 - Y'all don't think like men. - Thank God. 10 00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:22,206 - He's being everything that I wanted him to be. 11 00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:24,206 - Do you wanna be back together with Calvin? 12 00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:26,137 She's having a really, really hard time with this. 13 00:00:26,241 --> 00:00:27,896 And I was hoping that you could just talk to her. 14 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,793 - If she comes over here to talk to me, 15 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,448 then I will talk to her. 16 00:00:33,793 --> 00:00:37,344 - ♪ 17 00:00:37,448 --> 00:00:38,344 - Hi. 18 00:00:38,448 --> 00:00:40,448 - Hi, Miss Ella. 19 00:00:40,551 --> 00:00:41,689 - How are you? 20 00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:45,034 - Um...I'm good. Good. - Good. 21 00:00:45,137 --> 00:00:46,275 What are you doing? 22 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:49,551 - Um... - Sit--sitting... 23 00:00:51,827 --> 00:00:54,241 ...in--in my backyard. 24 00:00:56,517 --> 00:00:58,827 - Yep. 25 00:00:58,931 --> 00:01:01,068 - Okay. - So, um, 26 00:01:01,172 --> 00:01:04,034 how are you? - I'm good. 27 00:01:04,137 --> 00:01:05,517 - Good. - I'm real good. 28 00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:06,758 - Good. 29 00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:10,034 - And how are you? 30 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,103 - I'm not good. 31 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,517 - So, I have to ask twice 32 00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:16,379 to find out how you really are. 33 00:01:16,482 --> 00:01:18,482 [chuckles] 34 00:01:18,586 --> 00:01:19,413 - You did? 35 00:01:19,517 --> 00:01:20,793 - Uh, yes, you didn't hear me? 36 00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:25,206 - No. 37 00:01:27,310 --> 00:01:28,482 - Okay, I came out. 38 00:01:28,586 --> 00:01:30,793 I said, "Hi." You said, "Hi." 39 00:01:30,896 --> 00:01:31,827 I said, "How you doing?" 40 00:01:31,931 --> 00:01:33,068 You said, "I'm good." 41 00:01:33,172 --> 00:01:36,034 And then I said-- - Okay, I get it. 42 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,586 I get it. I get it. 43 00:01:37,689 --> 00:01:39,689 I get it. 44 00:01:39,793 --> 00:01:42,137 - So, are you gonna answer me? 45 00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:49,000 - I'm good. - No. 46 00:01:49,103 --> 00:01:51,137 No, ma'am, you're not good 47 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,344 if you're sitting out here in my backyard. 48 00:01:53,448 --> 00:01:54,620 - [sighs] 49 00:01:54,724 --> 00:01:57,137 Miss Ella, I'm so confused. 50 00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:59,103 - About what? 51 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:00,379 - About everything. 52 00:02:00,482 --> 00:02:04,620 This divorce and--and--and how I feel. 53 00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,724 - How do you feel? 54 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:10,172 - I feel everything. 55 00:02:10,275 --> 00:02:12,379 - Well, now that is normal, Miranda. 56 00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:13,586 - But is it? 57 00:02:13,689 --> 00:02:16,034 - Yes, it is. 58 00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,241 - [sighs] 59 00:02:17,344 --> 00:02:19,482 - I mean, baby, divorce can be hard... 60 00:02:19,586 --> 00:02:22,172 I mean, for so many reasons. 61 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:24,793 - You know, I just--I just thought it would be 62 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:26,310 so much easier. 63 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,310 - Why did you think that? 64 00:02:31,413 --> 00:02:33,206 - I don't know, Miss Ella, I just thought we'd get divorced, 65 00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:36,275 and then I'd move on with my life and be happy. 66 00:02:36,379 --> 00:02:38,724 - Well, Miranda, sometimes that does happen. 67 00:02:38,827 --> 00:02:41,241 And then other times it does not happen. 68 00:02:41,344 --> 00:02:44,241 Especially when you have children involved. 69 00:02:44,344 --> 00:02:45,724 - I know. - ELLA: Yes. 70 00:02:45,827 --> 00:02:46,931 - I know. 71 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,965 - Well, have you seen him? 72 00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:50,379 - Only in court. 73 00:02:51,482 --> 00:02:53,655 - Well, do you even talk to him? 74 00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,586 - No. 75 00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:56,931 - Why not? - [sighs] 76 00:02:57,034 --> 00:02:59,482 Because every time we talk, it becomes an argument. 77 00:02:59,586 --> 00:03:02,275 - Ah-ha, now is that him or is that you? 78 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,620 - It's both of us. 79 00:03:07,724 --> 00:03:09,482 - Well, I just don't understand that. 80 00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:12,965 - I don't either. 81 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,206 What--what--what do I do? 82 00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:17,551 - I mean, at the very least, 83 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,206 you should be able to talk to the man. 84 00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:22,896 - Oh, Miss Ella, he hates me. 85 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,034 - Mm, I don't believe that. 86 00:03:26,137 --> 00:03:27,344 I don't believe that. 87 00:03:27,448 --> 00:03:29,241 I really don't believe that. - No, no, no, no, no. 88 00:03:29,344 --> 00:03:31,172 He said that he hates me. 89 00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:33,586 - He said out of his mouth that he hate you? 90 00:03:33,689 --> 00:03:36,931 - He said that he wished that he never met me. 91 00:03:37,034 --> 00:03:38,034 - Oh, he means that. 92 00:03:38,137 --> 00:03:39,413 - Miss Ella! 93 00:03:39,517 --> 00:03:41,482 - I'm so sorry. - [sighs] 94 00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:43,586 - No, I'm so sorry. - [sobbing] 95 00:03:43,689 --> 00:03:46,758 - Okay, okay, okay. Not today. Not today. 96 00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:49,206 Not today. Okay. Not today. 97 00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:51,758 Alright. - I mean... 98 00:03:51,862 --> 00:03:55,137 so what do I do? 99 00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:56,931 - Let's pray. 100 00:03:57,034 --> 00:03:58,137 - Okay. - Come on. 101 00:03:58,241 --> 00:03:59,241 - Okay. 102 00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:06,655 - ♪ 103 00:04:09,655 --> 00:04:14,862 ♪ 104 00:04:16,482 --> 00:04:19,793 ♪♪ 105 00:04:22,517 --> 00:04:24,034 - Oh God, amen. - Amen. 106 00:04:24,137 --> 00:04:26,034 - Mm-hmm. So you feel better? 107 00:04:26,137 --> 00:04:28,517 - [sighs] - ELLA: Oh. 108 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:30,931 - Strangely, I do. 109 00:04:31,034 --> 00:04:33,000 - See, baby, that's-- that's prayer. 110 00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:34,448 Prayer still works. 111 00:04:34,551 --> 00:04:36,724 - [sighs] Okay, Miss Ella. 112 00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:37,965 Okay. 113 00:04:38,068 --> 00:04:40,172 So, um, what do I do when this wears off? 114 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,379 - Miranda, it's not a pain pill. 115 00:04:45,482 --> 00:04:47,448 - It's not? - ELLA: No, baby. 116 00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:50,275 It's that old-time anointing. 117 00:04:50,379 --> 00:04:52,379 - Sure feels like one. 118 00:04:52,482 --> 00:04:54,000 - Come on, let's go in the kitchen. 119 00:04:54,103 --> 00:04:57,620 - Oh no, I--you know, I should, um... 120 00:04:57,724 --> 00:04:59,965 probably go and relieve the babysitter. 121 00:05:00,068 --> 00:05:01,137 - Okay. 122 00:05:01,241 --> 00:05:02,862 - Okay, thank you. - You're welcome. 123 00:05:02,965 --> 00:05:04,827 - Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 124 00:05:04,931 --> 00:05:06,379 - You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome. 125 00:05:06,482 --> 00:05:08,965 You're welcome. Mwah. 126 00:05:09,068 --> 00:05:10,689 - Love you. - Love you, too. 127 00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:11,862 - [sighs] 128 00:05:11,965 --> 00:05:13,724 - Yes, yes, yes. Hold on to it. 129 00:05:15,172 --> 00:05:16,379 Hold on to it. 130 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,206 Amen. 131 00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:20,413 - Amen. - Amen. 132 00:05:23,551 --> 00:05:26,068 Uh. 133 00:05:26,172 --> 00:05:29,000 Help her. Help me help her. 134 00:05:29,103 --> 00:05:31,137 What? 135 00:05:31,241 --> 00:05:32,965 - You thought I didn't see it? 136 00:05:33,068 --> 00:05:34,034 - Baby, not out here. 137 00:05:34,137 --> 00:05:35,448 - I'm supposed to miss it? 138 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:37,965 You let that girl in here, Ella. 139 00:05:38,068 --> 00:05:38,965 - What girl? 140 00:05:39,068 --> 00:05:41,034 - Miranda. 141 00:05:41,137 --> 00:05:42,310 - I didn't let her in nowhere. 142 00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:45,620 She was out here in the backyard...stalking. 143 00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:48,206 - Still my domain. 144 00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:50,862 - Curtis, that is your daughter-in-law. 145 00:05:50,965 --> 00:05:52,896 - Ex-daughter-in-law. 146 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,000 - No, they're not divorced yet. 147 00:05:55,103 --> 00:05:56,689 - Ella, why you let her in here? 148 00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:58,758 In my Garden of Eden? 149 00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,586 - Garden of Eden? 150 00:06:03,689 --> 00:06:05,413 - It's my sanctuary, Ella. 151 00:06:05,517 --> 00:06:07,344 And you the snake. 152 00:06:07,448 --> 00:06:10,241 - Baby, I am the apple. 153 00:06:10,344 --> 00:06:11,172 - [munch] 154 00:06:11,275 --> 00:06:12,517 - Right. 155 00:06:13,758 --> 00:06:16,068 Curtis, you need to go somewhere and pray 156 00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:18,517 in a sanctuary. 157 00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:21,689 - Yeah, the sanctuary backfired on you, didn't it? 158 00:06:21,793 --> 00:06:23,068 - [laughs] 159 00:06:23,172 --> 00:06:25,034 Like you do all the time. 160 00:06:26,448 --> 00:06:27,896 - What are you talking about? 161 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,551 - Curtis, don't do this. 162 00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:31,896 You know exactly what I'm talking about. 163 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,172 - Don't you do it. - Curtis. 164 00:06:33,275 --> 00:06:35,172 - Don't you do it, Ella. 165 00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:36,344 - Curtis, don't do this. 166 00:06:36,448 --> 00:06:39,172 - Don't you dare talk about my gas problem 167 00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:40,896 at a time like this. 168 00:06:42,551 --> 00:06:45,241 - Baby, you really, really need to get that fixed. 169 00:06:45,344 --> 00:06:46,689 - Where are you going? - Curtis, please. 170 00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:48,620 - Huh-uh, I'm-- - Curtis, don't do this. 171 00:06:48,724 --> 00:06:49,931 - I'm gonna fix it right now. 172 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,655 - No, Curtis. [laughs] Curtis. 173 00:06:51,758 --> 00:06:53,241 - I'm about to let go and let God. 174 00:06:53,344 --> 00:06:55,068 - [laughs] 175 00:06:55,172 --> 00:06:57,896 - Pull it. Pull it! - Pull it what? 176 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:58,965 - Pull it out! 177 00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:00,344 - Curtis, please. - Alright, Ella. 178 00:07:00,448 --> 00:07:01,586 - Curtis, please! 179 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,586 - You leave me no choice. - Curtis. 180 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:06,482 Curtis, don't do this! Curtis! 181 00:07:06,586 --> 00:07:09,241 Curtis! - --one! 182 00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:14,448 - ♪ 183 00:07:14,551 --> 00:07:15,655 - [knocking at door] 184 00:07:15,758 --> 00:07:17,827 - Huh-uh, don't open that door. 185 00:07:17,931 --> 00:07:19,379 - Why? 186 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:22,137 - It's Miranda, I'm sure. 187 00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:24,103 - How you know that? 188 00:07:24,206 --> 00:07:25,551 - Her perfume. 189 00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:27,448 You can't smell it through the door? 190 00:07:27,551 --> 00:07:29,275 - [knocking at door] 191 00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:32,344 - Don't open that door, I'm-- 192 00:07:32,448 --> 00:07:34,034 - Who is it? 193 00:07:34,137 --> 00:07:35,724 - MIRANDA: It's Miranda. 194 00:07:35,827 --> 00:07:40,793 - [whispers] See what I told you? 195 00:07:40,896 --> 00:07:42,068 - Hey. - Hi. 196 00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:44,241 - Oh, Lord. 197 00:07:44,344 --> 00:07:45,827 - What? 198 00:07:45,931 --> 00:07:48,827 - I'm not about to deal with this drama. 199 00:07:48,931 --> 00:07:50,000 - What drama? 200 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:53,586 - All she wants to do is talk about Calvin. 201 00:07:53,689 --> 00:07:56,034 - Well, hush, you don't know that, okay? 202 00:07:56,137 --> 00:07:57,068 - Alright. 203 00:07:59,172 --> 00:08:00,172 - So how you doing? 204 00:08:00,275 --> 00:08:02,172 - I'm good, I'm good. Hi. 205 00:08:02,275 --> 00:08:03,517 Is your--is your mom here? 206 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:05,379 - Oh, no, sorry. She's not here. 207 00:08:05,482 --> 00:08:06,793 - Oh, okay. 208 00:08:07,827 --> 00:08:09,241 - Would you like to come in? 209 00:08:09,344 --> 00:08:11,034 - [coughing] 210 00:08:13,172 --> 00:08:14,655 Don't do that. - Malik! 211 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,655 - Yes. 212 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,068 - See, come on in, Miranda. Come on in. 213 00:08:19,172 --> 00:08:20,448 - Ugh, big mistake. 214 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,724 - You know I can hear you, right? 215 00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:26,724 - Uh, I wasn't trying to whisper. 216 00:08:29,758 --> 00:08:31,103 - [sighs] 217 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,931 When's your mom gonna be home? 218 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,586 - Oh, she's working late. 219 00:08:34,689 --> 00:08:36,896 - Yeah, she may not be home 'til tomorrow morning. 220 00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:41,172 - Really? - Yeah. 221 00:08:41,275 --> 00:08:44,344 She's been pulling all-nighters. 222 00:08:44,448 --> 00:08:45,896 All-weekers. 223 00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:50,448 Hard work out there. 224 00:08:50,551 --> 00:08:52,000 - I used to like you. 225 00:08:55,275 --> 00:08:57,620 Well, I guess, I should get going. 226 00:08:57,724 --> 00:08:59,275 - Yeah, yeah, you should be doing that. 227 00:08:59,379 --> 00:09:02,103 - [clears throat] 228 00:09:02,206 --> 00:09:03,655 That's alright, Miranda, you don't have to leave. 229 00:09:03,758 --> 00:09:06,344 - Ah, thank you. - Yes. 230 00:09:06,448 --> 00:09:07,482 Yes, she does. 231 00:09:07,586 --> 00:09:09,068 - You can sit right back down, Miranda. 232 00:09:11,482 --> 00:09:14,103 - You know, I should really be going, because 233 00:09:14,206 --> 00:09:16,310 I don't wanna run into Calvin, so it's fine. 234 00:09:16,413 --> 00:09:17,379 - Oh, don't worry about that. 235 00:09:17,482 --> 00:09:18,620 He's not-- - Here yet. 236 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:22,413 But, um...yeah, he's coming. 237 00:09:22,517 --> 00:09:23,724 - Is he? - Yeah, he is. 238 00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:25,586 He's actually on his way right now. 239 00:09:25,689 --> 00:09:28,413 You don't wanna--you don't wanna run into him. 240 00:09:28,517 --> 00:09:30,517 - Oh, what--what is he coming by for? 241 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,965 - [sighs] She nosey. 242 00:09:35,517 --> 00:09:37,137 - I'm just asking. 243 00:09:37,241 --> 00:09:40,206 - Well, y'all are getting a divorce, so I mean, 244 00:09:40,310 --> 00:09:42,379 why are you asking? 245 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:45,137 - You're right, I--I should just get going. 246 00:09:45,241 --> 00:09:46,482 - Yeah. 247 00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:53,689 You're still standing here. 248 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,000 - Am I? 249 00:09:56,586 --> 00:09:59,827 - Yeah. Yeah, you are. 250 00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:02,034 - Miranda, you don't know you standing there? 251 00:10:05,758 --> 00:10:07,517 You're trying to run into him, aren't you? 252 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,517 - No. 253 00:10:11,931 --> 00:10:13,931 - Then shouldn't your feet be moving? 254 00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:17,620 - You know what? You're right. 255 00:10:17,724 --> 00:10:20,206 - Yeah, I think I am. 256 00:10:20,310 --> 00:10:21,965 - Okay, um... 257 00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:25,931 yeah, yeah, I--I--I'll just see you guys later, okay? 258 00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:27,034 - Yeah. - Okay. 259 00:10:29,965 --> 00:10:32,206 - You got a long walk to the door here. 260 00:10:32,310 --> 00:10:33,793 - Just making sure I got everything. 261 00:10:36,689 --> 00:10:38,620 - All you had was a purse when you came in here. 262 00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:42,310 That's in your hand. 263 00:10:42,413 --> 00:10:43,344 Your feet, they still ain't moving. 264 00:10:43,448 --> 00:10:46,137 - Malik. 265 00:10:46,241 --> 00:10:47,827 - This ain't freeze tag. 266 00:10:50,137 --> 00:10:51,758 - Miranda... 267 00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:53,896 you know if you want to talk to him, you can? 268 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,551 - I know. 269 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,448 But, I--I don't wanna talk to him. 270 00:10:58,551 --> 00:11:00,275 - Then why are you still here? 271 00:11:03,482 --> 00:11:04,724 - I actually do agree with him. 272 00:11:04,827 --> 00:11:07,517 You should probably be moving at this point. 273 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,931 - I know when I've worn out my welcome. 274 00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:13,068 - Still wearing it out. [laughs] 275 00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:20,034 - Um... 276 00:11:21,172 --> 00:11:25,206 - Ooh, I never noticed that chandelier. 277 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:28,827 It's beautiful. 278 00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:31,137 - What chandelier? - Ain't no chandelier. 279 00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:32,344 - What, what? 280 00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,034 Okay, um... 281 00:11:35,275 --> 00:11:37,448 You know-- [laughs] 282 00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:38,448 I'll see you guys later. 283 00:11:38,551 --> 00:11:40,000 - Okay. - Yeah. 284 00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:41,137 - Yeah. - Yeah. 285 00:11:41,241 --> 00:11:44,000 - Damn, Dad, what-- - Boy, watch your mouth. 286 00:11:49,206 --> 00:11:50,896 - Awkward. 287 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,965 - Oh no, this about to get real good. 288 00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:56,137 - Malik? - Yeah? 289 00:11:56,241 --> 00:11:58,551 - Hush. - That's fine. 290 00:11:58,655 --> 00:11:59,620 I was gonna do that anyway. 291 00:11:59,724 --> 00:12:02,103 I'm about to enjoy the show. 292 00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:04,275 - Hi, Miranda. 293 00:12:04,379 --> 00:12:05,310 - Hi. 294 00:12:09,241 --> 00:12:10,862 - Hi, Calvin. 295 00:12:10,965 --> 00:12:13,827 How are you? 296 00:12:13,931 --> 00:12:16,517 - CJ, I gotta go. - Okay. 297 00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:18,586 - Dang. 298 00:12:18,689 --> 00:12:21,448 He can't even say hi to you? 299 00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:23,896 - Malik? - [exhales] 300 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,344 I mean, he was like, "I'm out." [laughs] 301 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,931 - Malik, would you hush? 302 00:12:31,482 --> 00:12:34,827 - I'm just saying, it was kind of sad. 303 00:12:34,931 --> 00:12:35,758 Oh. 304 00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:37,655 - You know what's even sadder? 305 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,103 Is how you acted in your divorce. 306 00:12:39,206 --> 00:12:40,275 - Mm-hmm. 307 00:12:41,896 --> 00:12:45,103 Dad, wasn't he whining? - Mm-hmm. 308 00:12:45,206 --> 00:12:48,206 - And eating cereal at the same time, huh? 309 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,448 - Yep. - You know what? 310 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,103 Y'all gotta stop bringing that up. 311 00:12:51,206 --> 00:12:52,241 - It's the truth. 312 00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:55,655 - That's fine, I'll just sit here and act like 313 00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:57,655 y'all wasn't thinking what I was thinking. 314 00:12:59,172 --> 00:13:02,413 - Miranda, you alright? 315 00:13:02,517 --> 00:13:04,344 - Yeah, I'm okay. 316 00:13:04,448 --> 00:13:05,965 - You sure? 317 00:13:07,344 --> 00:13:09,103 - Yeah. Yes. 318 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:11,137 - You, uh--you wanna stay for dinner? 319 00:13:11,241 --> 00:13:13,275 - [coughing] Dad. 320 00:13:13,379 --> 00:13:14,793 - Hush. 321 00:13:14,896 --> 00:13:17,034 - If she got to go, she-- 322 00:13:19,241 --> 00:13:21,206 - Will you stop it, boy? 323 00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:22,206 - Alright. 324 00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:26,379 - You know what? I--I know I'm not family. 325 00:13:26,482 --> 00:13:29,103 - That does not mean that you're not invited to dinner. 326 00:13:29,206 --> 00:13:31,689 - I don't know if Cousin Calvin will like that. 327 00:13:31,793 --> 00:13:34,896 - Hush! - Just saying. 328 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,620 - He really needs to learn how to just shhh. 329 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,551 - It's fine, I need to go. 330 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:42,931 I need to go pick up Christian, 331 00:13:43,034 --> 00:13:44,310 but thank you for the invite. 332 00:13:44,413 --> 00:13:45,310 - Okay. 333 00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:50,172 - Goodbye, Miranda. 334 00:13:52,931 --> 00:13:55,586 - [sighs] That's just sad. 335 00:13:55,689 --> 00:13:56,965 Poor thing. 336 00:13:58,137 --> 00:13:59,758 - You know what? That was kinda sad. 337 00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:02,448 - Yeah. That divorce thing, it's just crazy. 338 00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:04,793 - Yeah, good thing you don't have to go through that. 339 00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:05,896 - You're right about that, 340 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,620 'cause I'm never getting married again. 341 00:14:07,724 --> 00:14:10,931 - Mm-hmm, because you couldn't handle it. 342 00:14:11,034 --> 00:14:12,931 - Are you really saying that to me? 343 00:14:13,034 --> 00:14:17,206 - Look, unlike you, I got options, okay? 344 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:19,172 - What? 345 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,655 - I mean, Dad, let's not sit here and front. 346 00:14:20,758 --> 00:14:22,517 I'm a catch. 347 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:23,551 - Is that right? 348 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:25,827 - Yeah, like a bad cold. 349 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:28,931 - Hush. 350 00:14:30,275 --> 00:14:32,137 - Look, all I'm saying is that I'm never doing it again. 351 00:14:32,241 --> 00:14:34,896 I mean, why get married just to have the government step in 352 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,689 and tell you how you're supposed to separate 353 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:37,896 when you want a divorce? 354 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:42,551 I mean, mine took all my money, so--[laughs] 355 00:14:42,655 --> 00:14:43,724 - First of all, Malik, 356 00:14:43,827 --> 00:14:46,689 you didn't have no money. 357 00:14:46,793 --> 00:14:49,896 - I mean, well, why do it then, you know? 358 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,137 - Because it's something called the law. 359 00:14:53,241 --> 00:14:55,931 - Marriage is between two people and God. 360 00:14:56,034 --> 00:14:58,000 - Do you know what you men would be doing to us women 361 00:14:58,103 --> 00:14:59,758 if we didn't have paperwork? 362 00:15:01,448 --> 00:15:03,758 And do you even know God? 363 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:06,103 - First off, I talked to Him last night. 364 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,413 Second, what? 365 00:15:08,517 --> 00:15:09,620 - You heard me. 366 00:15:09,724 --> 00:15:12,241 - How sexist of you. 367 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:13,517 - What are you talking about, Malik? 368 00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,758 - Do you know what you women would be doing to us men 369 00:15:15,862 --> 00:15:17,310 who have to pay child support? 370 00:15:17,413 --> 00:15:19,000 - Boy. 371 00:15:19,103 --> 00:15:20,758 You're gonna have to square up in a second. 372 00:15:20,862 --> 00:15:22,068 - Hey, hey. - You're gonna have to 373 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:23,586 square up. - We can be about it. 374 00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:24,758 - We about to-- 375 00:15:24,862 --> 00:15:26,241 - Ain't nobody squaring up. 376 00:15:26,344 --> 00:15:28,758 Neither one of you is about to be married. 377 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,586 - Well--[laughs] 378 00:15:30,689 --> 00:15:32,758 - Well, what? 379 00:15:32,862 --> 00:15:34,344 - Nah, I'm just playing with you, Dad. 380 00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:37,689 - Yeah, let me find out you about to be married. 381 00:15:37,793 --> 00:15:39,517 - Well, I wasn't talking about me. 382 00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:40,482 - Who was you talking about? 383 00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:42,448 - Jazmine. 384 00:15:42,551 --> 00:15:43,517 - You about to be married? 385 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:44,724 - Excuse me? - Go ahead, tell him. 386 00:15:44,827 --> 00:15:45,862 - Tell him what? 387 00:15:45,965 --> 00:15:49,206 - Jazmine, are you about to be married? 388 00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:51,275 - Dad. - What? 389 00:15:51,379 --> 00:15:53,310 - I know you didn't just fall for that. 390 00:15:53,413 --> 00:15:55,758 - Fall for what? I said you're about to be married. 391 00:15:55,862 --> 00:15:58,034 - No, I'm not about to be married! 392 00:15:58,137 --> 00:16:01,448 - When did you even-- - [laughs] 393 00:16:01,551 --> 00:16:03,034 Oh my gosh, look at his face. 394 00:16:03,137 --> 00:16:04,689 [laughs] 395 00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:06,068 Dad, I was just kidding. 396 00:16:06,172 --> 00:16:07,103 - Yeah. - Just kidding. 397 00:16:07,206 --> 00:16:09,310 - Yeah, I knew that. I knew that. 398 00:16:09,413 --> 00:16:10,896 - Wait, hold up. 399 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,310 Why was your outrage so different from Malik? 400 00:16:13,413 --> 00:16:15,000 - Hm. 401 00:16:15,103 --> 00:16:15,793 - No. 402 00:16:15,896 --> 00:16:18,241 I was upset... 403 00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:21,793 with him, as usual. - You're were wired, though. 404 00:16:21,896 --> 00:16:23,103 - Yeah. - Yeah. 405 00:16:23,206 --> 00:16:25,586 [laughs] He don't love you. 406 00:16:28,689 --> 00:16:30,689 - I don't want either of you 407 00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:31,689 getting married. 408 00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:33,344 You're both too young. 409 00:16:33,448 --> 00:16:35,310 - Dad, we know that. 410 00:16:35,413 --> 00:16:37,275 - Yeah, but we're the same age as you and Mom 411 00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:39,482 when y'all started to settle down. 412 00:16:39,586 --> 00:16:40,724 - What? 413 00:16:40,827 --> 00:16:42,000 - Yeah. 414 00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:44,517 - That's actually true. - Exactly. 415 00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:46,379 - Malik, go to bed. 416 00:16:48,310 --> 00:16:50,034 - Man, it's the middle of the day. 417 00:16:50,137 --> 00:16:52,827 - I don't care. You're sleepy. 418 00:16:52,931 --> 00:16:54,586 - Ttch. You know what? 419 00:16:54,689 --> 00:16:55,655 It's fine, Dad. 420 00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:56,724 You just can't handle the truth. 421 00:16:56,827 --> 00:16:58,862 - And you can't handle these fists. 422 00:16:58,965 --> 00:17:00,655 - You know, you're starting to act more and more 423 00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,172 like Uncle Curtis. 424 00:17:02,275 --> 00:17:04,068 - Well, if you know that, then you know what's coming next. 425 00:17:04,172 --> 00:17:05,620 - Oh, Lord, he 'bout to fart. 426 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:07,620 - Oh no! 427 00:17:07,724 --> 00:17:09,724 - What? 428 00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:11,517 It just happens when you get older. 429 00:17:12,827 --> 00:17:14,413 What the hell wrong with y'all? 430 00:17:14,517 --> 00:17:15,724 It's natural. 431 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:21,517 - ♪ 432 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:24,862 - [laughs] Crazy. 433 00:17:24,965 --> 00:17:26,344 That's crazy. 434 00:17:31,379 --> 00:17:32,344 Hey! 435 00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:36,379 - Hey. 436 00:17:36,482 --> 00:17:38,379 - Hey, why you just walk in here like that? 437 00:17:38,482 --> 00:17:39,482 - I need to talk to Mama. 438 00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:41,103 - She laying down. 439 00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:43,172 - Man, I need some good advice. 440 00:17:46,896 --> 00:17:49,758 - What do I look like to you? 441 00:17:49,862 --> 00:17:51,344 - Bad advice in a bad body. 442 00:17:53,517 --> 00:17:55,862 - Do you know who you're talking to, Son? 443 00:17:55,965 --> 00:17:59,034 I can bench press you. 444 00:17:59,137 --> 00:18:00,517 - Oh yeah, of course you can. 445 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:03,724 - So what is it? 446 00:18:03,827 --> 00:18:05,137 - Mm-mm. 447 00:18:05,241 --> 00:18:08,241 - Do you know how many people come to me for advice? 448 00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:11,448 Martin Luther de Lawrence. 449 00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:16,758 Saint--Saint--Saint, uh, Jonathan DeMille. 450 00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:21,172 Saint Patrick's Day. He came to me. 451 00:18:21,275 --> 00:18:23,275 Asking me for a lucky charm. 452 00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:25,965 - Pops, this is serious. 453 00:18:26,068 --> 00:18:27,310 - I'm serious. 454 00:18:29,206 --> 00:18:30,413 Preachers come to me. 455 00:18:32,413 --> 00:18:33,724 They talk to Ella about the Bible. 456 00:18:33,827 --> 00:18:35,586 They come to me about the women. 457 00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:42,275 Tell your daddy what it is. 458 00:18:42,379 --> 00:18:44,137 - I'm good. I'll wait to talk to Mama. 459 00:18:44,241 --> 00:18:46,827 - Fine, get out. - Pops. 460 00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:48,586 - No, go on, get out! 461 00:18:48,689 --> 00:18:50,689 Wait for her out there! 462 00:18:50,793 --> 00:18:51,862 - Pops. 463 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,310 - You know she don't love you. 464 00:18:54,413 --> 00:18:55,862 - Yes, she does. 465 00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:59,482 - Mm, it's not what she told me. 466 00:18:59,586 --> 00:19:01,551 - Look, how long is she gonna be napping? 467 00:19:01,655 --> 00:19:03,931 - I don't know if she napping or not, 468 00:19:04,034 --> 00:19:08,206 'cause she might have gone to the bathroom. 469 00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:10,586 And you know that could take weeks. 470 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:17,241 She pretty, but she constipated. 471 00:19:17,344 --> 00:19:20,413 You know your mama. You know your mama. 472 00:19:20,517 --> 00:19:22,724 - No, that usually would be you. 473 00:19:24,724 --> 00:19:26,034 - What is it, Calvin? 474 00:19:26,137 --> 00:19:28,000 - Look, it's about-- - Miranda? 475 00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:29,068 - Yeah, how'd you know? 476 00:19:29,172 --> 00:19:30,655 - 'Cause she was in the backyard. 477 00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:32,068 - In the backyard for what? 478 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,448 - Talking to your mother. 479 00:19:33,551 --> 00:19:35,482 - And Mama was talking to her? 480 00:19:35,586 --> 00:19:37,275 - Oh now you wanna talk? 481 00:19:41,241 --> 00:19:42,379 - I don't want her talking to her. 482 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,068 - Well, you need to tell her. - Yeah, I will. 483 00:19:44,172 --> 00:19:46,206 - Go on then, go tell her. 484 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,862 - Look, when I divorce somebody, the whole family 485 00:19:47,965 --> 00:19:49,448 supposed to divorce 'em. 486 00:19:49,551 --> 00:19:50,827 - And I agree, Son. 487 00:19:50,931 --> 00:19:52,655 - You know what? You wait 'til she gets up. 488 00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,344 - Yeah, you gonna tell her? 489 00:19:54,448 --> 00:19:55,896 - Yeah, I am. 490 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,517 - You gonna tell her just like that? 491 00:19:58,620 --> 00:19:59,551 - Yeah. 492 00:20:00,965 --> 00:20:02,586 - You still need any advice? 493 00:20:02,689 --> 00:20:04,034 - Nah, I got this. 494 00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:07,344 - Ooh, my boy. You got this. 495 00:20:07,448 --> 00:20:08,551 [laughs] 496 00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:10,793 Hey, can I give you a little piece, though? 497 00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:12,103 - What? 498 00:20:12,206 --> 00:20:15,413 - When you tell her, you better run like hell, 499 00:20:15,517 --> 00:20:19,000 'cause she's short, but she fast. 500 00:20:19,103 --> 00:20:21,413 And don't let her have gas. 501 00:20:21,517 --> 00:20:23,206 Ah! 502 00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:26,344 See, you get that, how that rhyme? 503 00:20:26,448 --> 00:20:27,551 Short and gas? 504 00:20:27,655 --> 00:20:31,000 Short gas. 505 00:20:31,103 --> 00:20:33,137 If she let one go, she speeds up. 506 00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:37,896 - Pops, you're talking about yourself. 507 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,448 - If she let one go, she actually--she speeds up. 508 00:20:41,551 --> 00:20:43,034 She gets air driven. 509 00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:48,655 She get rocket thought-- rocket shot. 510 00:20:51,034 --> 00:20:54,655 Jet engine shot. 511 00:20:54,758 --> 00:20:56,724 Pfft. 512 00:20:56,827 --> 00:20:58,137 I'm sorry, that's a wet one. 513 00:21:28,931 --> 00:21:31,034 - ♪ 514 00:21:34,724 --> 00:21:38,137 - ♪ 34271

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