Original subtitles

Ma, we're rich.

We're rich, baby.

We're rich.

Better pack your bags, baby.

We rich.

We rich.

We rich.

Baby, you still playing the lottery?

No.

Better than that.

None of my relatives died, did they?

I know it's hard to believe, but it's even better than that.

Look at that.

Curtis.

What the heck is that?

Baby, look.

It's a comb and a brush combination.

He calls it a Crush.

It's gonna revolutionize the hair care industry.

Curtis, Curtis, this is foolishness.

I told him that too.

Oh, baby, I can see the commercial.

Oh, my hair.

My hair.

I don't know what I'm going to do with it.

What should I do?

I know.

I'll use my Crush.

Thanks, Crush.

I can see it.

Foolishness, baby.

Is that not the dumbest thing you ever heard?

Oh, you're just jealous.

You know what, I never thought I'd say this,

but I agree with Floyd.

See, I guess she just crushed your dreams.

You shut up before I crush your lemon head.

It's also a weapon too, baby.

Seriously, no idea is a dumb idea, except this Crush idea.

That's why you need to hear my idea.

And I know I'm going to regret asking this,

but what's your idea, Floyd?

Baby, it's something silly.

Uh, excuse me, we listened to your silly presentation, now

it's time to listen to mine.

OK, look, before my partner got sidetracked with his

silly idea, we invented these.

Floyd, no you're not.

What are You doing?

I'll show ya.

Funking up the place.

Floyd.

Now, see, there you go.

You two invented socks?

No.

Look closer.

She would if she could get past the funk barrier.

You're just looking at two ordinary pair of socks,

all right?

OK.

But what happens is that when you have socks like this,

you might lose a mate, and it'll be gone forever.

Yeah.

But when you do this, ta-da.

Oh.

And in that way, like I said, you can wash them, dry them,

you can put them up together, and

they'll never be apart again.

That's not bad, Curtis.

Oh, stop.

That's not bad

Stop it.

Please, for something that's never gonna sell.

Sock Together.

That's so silly, what a dummy gonna

even need something like that.

It's dumb.

Raise your pants leg, Curtis.

Ella.

ELLA: Just raise them up.

Not in front of, Floyd, babe.

What the freak?

But this is the style.

All the kids wear them like this baby.

I got another pair just like it in the bedroom.

See Sock'em Together will prevent

unsightly sights like that one.

You know what, guys?

I invented something.

I did.

I invented something, Curtis.

It is going to prevent me from staying out here and listening

to the both of you.

I'm going to call it leaving.

It'll never sell.

[theme music]

Hey, baby.

Hey.

Can I borrow $20 to put gas in the car?

You don't have the gas card?

I did until the gas station attendant cut it up.

Cut it up?

What did he say?

Well, does laughing count?

$10.

That's it?

Thank you.

What are you doing?

Oh, just trying to pay some bills

and balance the checkbook.

Could it be that hard to balance a zero?

Well, we're gonna need a loan to get back to zero.

Is it that bad?

Well, unless we can get the kids to eat

every other day, then, yes.

What can I do to help?

Well, let's see, how attached are you to your kidneys?

What are you doing?

I'm paying the car note.

But it's not done yet.

Yes, it is.

No, it's not.

It's still black.

Everybody knows that it's not due until you get the red one,

and then you get a courtesy call.

And then you have a 10-day grace period,

or you could ask for an extension

and they give you a longer period of time to pay it.

It's just amazing that you know all of that.

Well.

Yet, you can't manage to put the toilet seat down on

the toilet any day of the week.

What?

You're paying the credit card bill too?

Yeah, I'm going to put half on the car note

and then half on the credit card bill,

and then I'll take the credit card,

and I'll pay Calvin Junior's medical bills.

You're robbing Peter to pay Paul, huh?

I got to rob somebody.

Oh, that's crazy.

How about right here?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

How about right here?

What that?

Yeah, lower.

There.

Here?

What?

Yeah, that's perfect.

That's perfect.

Do you know if there's a stud here?

Yeah, I know there's a stud right here.

Ya heard me.

Will you get the stud finder so we can check?

Oh.

Here it is right here.

Do do do.

Do do do.

Do do.

Will you stop playing around.

My arms are getting tired.

That's because you're not a stud.

See?

See, all that playing around, that's probably

why Floyd stood you up.

Oh.

No, he had something more important he told me.

Yeah, standing you up.

Floyd has entered the building.

So CJ can leave.

No, no, no, my brother, you might want to stay for a second

so I can give you all some very good news.

What?

Your penicillin finally kicked in?

What?

No.

Or you found out that itch wasn't what you thought it was?

Now, what?

You remember that, don't ya?

Wait a minute now.

Look, you know what?

He can say what he want to say, all right?

But ain't nothing gonna bring me down.

And you ask me why?

I never asked why?

Did you ask why?

No.

I didn't ask why.

Look.

Hold on to your hats, fellas, or should I say socks?

Look here, I took the Sock Together idea down

to the patent office, and they loved it so much,

they gave me a certificate, and told me that it is easily

a multimillion dollar idea.

And you know what I said?

That ain't sock money?

How you know that?

They liked it that much?

Brother, they said this is the best

new idea since the Snuggie.

And then they offered to hook me up with a manufacturer,

all right?

So that way we can produce a prototype,

and then we can go into mass production within the year.

What?

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

That's huge.

That means we rich.

What?

Oh, we rich.

We rich.

We rich.

We rich.

We rich. We rich.

We rich. We rich.

We rich.

What you mean, we?

We, as in me and you.

No, no, no, no, no.

Wait.

If I recall correctly, you're the one that said that Sock

Together was a stupid idea.

It is.

And we gonna be stupid rich.

We rich. We rich.

We rich.

We rich.

We rich. - No, no.

Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm the one that went and registered this, all right?

Yeah, well, we came up with the idea together.

Well, yes and no.

What the hell you mean yes and no?

Yes, we both got the ball down the field,

but I'm the one who punched it into the end zone.

Look, did you trademark this?

Of course, I trademarked it.

What's trademark?

Well, a trademark protects the intellectual property.

According to this contract, it states that Floyd

is the only inventor.

Well, yeah.

Let me see that thing.

The only inventor.

[inaudible]?

Well, this contract and Floyd is a liar.

You just mad because you missed out.

No, you go ahead on, you get your little funky money.

You go on and get your money.

And I'll tell you what, you take that money

and you can buy yourself a new best friend.

You get the hell out.

Beautiful head of lettuce.

Hey.

Hi, baby.

Miss Ella.

Hey.

Did you get the mail out of the mailbox yet?

Not yet.

You expecting something?

Something like that.

Is Calvin home from work yet?

Well, you know what, he was here earlier,

and then he said he was going to the gym.

Oh, OK.

OK, I'll just give him a call.

Oh, hey, baby, I was just about to call you.

Something wrong?

Oh, no, I was just looking for something that's all.

What?

This bank statement?

Yes.

Thank you.

Hey, baby, you hungry?

Not yet.

Um, baby, why is it open?

Because I opened it.

But it was addressed to me.

Why is there an extra $10,000 in your account?

Jesus, hallelujah.

Hey, $10,000 in your bank account.

This is great.

Yeah, it would be great if I knew where it came from.

It's a blessing, baby.

It doesn't matter where it came from.

The Lord moves in mysterious ways.

The only thing mysterious in here is my wife.

Aunt Ella said you needed my help.

No.

I-- CJ, no, I did not.

I told you he has lost it, and he needs help.

Oh, please, quiet.

Genius at work.

Been out here all day in this junk.

Well, you now what they say.

One man's junk is another man's treasure.

But it all pretty much looks like junk to me.

But, in case one of these crazy ideas sticks,

I brought you some paperwork.

These are trademark papers but city hall.

CJ.

Are you encouraging this?

Aunt Ella, you really never know.

Legend has it that in 1899 they wanted to close the patent

office because they didn't think there were any more new ideas.

And now, we have the Snuggie.

OK, you gotta be quiet.

You're disturbing my inventing.

Oh, Curtis, please.

The only thing you inventing out here is a mess,

and you will be cleaning this up,

Curtis, when you are finished.

But, baby, please, huh?

Did George Washington Carver's wife tell him he to clean up

after he ate all them peanuts?

I don't think so.

I don't know what he said.

See, CJ, didn't I tell you?

He has lost it.

Unc, why don't you just talk to Floyd?

I'm sure you two can work something--

I don't want to work nothing out with Floyd.

I ain't talking to him for nothing.

I tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to invent something that's

going to put his little Sock Together to shame.

And don't touch that.

You don't touch nothing.

Like Like what?

Huh?

You didn't even see this.

Sitting right in front of your face.

What is that, Curtis?

What is that?

It's a tennis racket for anti-social people.

I call it, Tennis, No One?

Huh?

That's silly.

That's silly.

All by yourself.

Don't you know, you gotta run and get it.

You ain't got to do that.

And unlike Floyd, I'm not a one invention wonder.

What's that?

It's a Frisbee.

To the uninventive eye.

It's also a pitcher coaster.

Is that the best?

Is that good or what?

If by good you mean ridiculous--

OK, I get it.

Haters hate.

I can't take this.

Curtis, I figured one day you'd crack up,

but I didn't know it was going to be this soon.

Somebody needs to tell him that it's not against the law

to shoot a trespasser, especially one

that cut me out of millions.

You see, that's exactly what I came

over here to talk to you about.

You can talk all you want.

I'm not listening.

I want to cut you in.

Like I said, I'm all ears.

Look, I've been thinking about what you said,

and I just think it would be wrong if I cut you out.

The lawyer said he could sue you, huh?

Something like that.

OK, exactly like that.

But I mean, I've been thinking about it anyway, all right?

So I figured that after expenses are paid, we can do this 50/50.

What you say?

Let me think about it.

OK.

50/50.

50/50.

We're gonna be rich.

[inaudible].

We're gonna be rich.

What's wrong with you?

I guess I got to get used to being half as rich.

Is that a pitcher coaster?

Oh, yeah, that's good.

Come in three sizes.

Really?

Yes.

See, that's the inventive eye.

It's a gift.

From God.

[muffled arguing]

Oh, oh, oh, oh oh.

OK.

I'm just so-- just so tired.

Yeah, I really messed up this time.

Say what?

I really messed up this time.

Come on in here, baby, and tell me what happened.

Oh.

I'm not hearing anything through that door.

OK, so I borrowed $10,000 from my cousin

Tammy and her husband Rodney, because we needed a safety net.

OK, well, if you needed a safety net,

and if it's a safety net, why couldn't Calvin know about it?

Because, Miss Ella, he has horrible spending habits.

OK.

Well, Miranda, with that being said, if Calvin borrowed

money from us, and did not tell you about it,

how would you feel?

I'd be OK with it, because at least he'd be doing something

to help the situation.

Miranda, you really need to stay positive about this.

Things can work out.

I'm trying, Miss Ella, but I don't know

how much more patience I have.

Marriage is teamwork, darling.

And sometimes one part of the team

has to work harder than the other part, but in the end,

it all balances out.

You think so?

I know so.

And if that does not work, get to the mailbox quicker.

Why would you-- you knew that statement was coming in here.

I know.

All of this could be avoided.

I was trying.

Aunt Ella, did you get to the mailbox?

Please.

I know.

Get a PO box.

I know.

Now, I know.

Hurry up, move out of here, get a whole another address.

Hey, babe.

Can we talk?

I'm watching TV.

You're watching an infomercial.

You never know when you're going

to need a pair of pajama jeans.

Really?

Not that we can afford a pair of pajama jeans.

Listen, I know you're upset.

Yeah, I'm upset.

My wife doesn't trust me.

Sweetheart, it's not that I don't trust you, it's--

It's that you borrowed $10,000 from Tammy and Rodney

knowing that they already think I can't support my family.

Baby, it's because we needed it.

We need a safety net, and I'm sorry.

Are you sorry for borrowing it or are

you sorry for not telling me?

Both.

I feel terrible.

Not as terrible as I feel.

I can't win for losing.

Listen, it is not just about you and me.

We have two kids to think about.

Miranda, are we going to be able to work through this?

This on the roof?

All this is up there on top of that?

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Oh, how rich are we?

Not at all.

Thanks to Floyd.

It ain't my fault.

Actually, it is your fault.

What happened?

Well, it looks like Sock'em Together

is going to make millions of dollars for someone else.

Right.

Someone else.

I mean, really, who would have thought that somebody

else would come up with the same idea

of putting two socks together?

And who'd have thought somebody

would have had sense enough to trademark the idea?

Well, what happened to the trademark paperwork

that you brought over?

That CJ brought over here, baby?

You mean these trademark papers?

All right.

It's OK, baby.

It's OK, Curtis.

It's OK.

It's OK.

We are still rich in love.

I'd rather have the cash.

[theme music]