Original subtitles

N-U-H-U-H?

Hello!

That's not even a word.

Uh-huh. Yes, it is.

Nuh-uh.

Uh-huh.

Quit playing.

Hey, where you guys off to?

Let me guess-- shopping.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner.

Need anything?

No.

Oh, some T-shirts.

Hey, baby, do you need anything?

Yeah, to know why you're going.

You know we're strapped.

I'm just window shopping, if that's OK with you.

Fine.

I'm just saying.

Stupid.

What?

No, no, it's my word.

"Stupid."

S-T-U-P-I-D. Uhn.

Curtis.

Hm?

Baby, I'm a little short.

Baby, told you, stop being hard on yourself like that.

You got to love yourself first. - Curtis.

Go put some heels on.

Get in the car, and put some heels on.

You see how I flipped that thing around?

That's called--

Corny.

Baby, that's not nice.

It's OK, that's his word.

Right, CJ?

Nope.

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

[laughing]

Curtis, please, can I borrow $200?

Money don't grow on trees.

Curtis, so I can avoid stopping at the ATM, baby,

come on.

Take care of my baby.

Take care of my baby, that's what I do.

Thank you.

No, no, let me count it.

Don't just--

Don't forget where you got it.

[smooch]

Well, we'll see you when we get back.

Bye, baby.

Bye, CJ.

Bye bye, baby.

Thank you, Curtis.

CURTIS: Yeah, baby.

See you guys later.

OK.

CJ is cheating.

He always do.

We used to it.

[theme music]

Hey, man, can you get two croissants?

Yeah, I got it.

No, I got it. I got it.

You get it next time.

All right, cool.

Thanks.

Ooh, don't look now, but I think

that girl is looking at me.

Ha, yeah, that's because you're blocking her view of me.

You know, this same thing happened in elementary school.

You remember [HIGH PITCHED] Sheila?

Oh, yeah, yeah, Sheila.

But she was cross-eyed, so she actually

was looking at the both of us.

Yeah, that was true.

But how long did you two date?

Till the end of recess.

[laugh]

Oh.

Oh, yeah, right for me.

Hey.

You think anybody saw that?

Just the people pointing and laughing.

[laughing]

Hey, excuse me.

You could say "excuse you."

But you bumped into me, Damon.

You calling me a liar, cupcake?

Chill, Damon.

This ain't "Boys in the--

Hub"?

I ain't even talking to you, Malik.

Yo, it's cool, dawg.

Yes, but you're talking to a friend of mine, OK?

Tch, yeah, I bet y'all friends all right.

[snicker] With benefits.

[laughing]

Oh, oh, gosh.

Um, hello?

Oh, it's for you.

It's the corny police.

They want the joke back.

[laugh]

Oh, I'm sorry.

Was I supposed to flinch?

[MOCKING] Oh.

[laugh]

Now that was a good one.

That was a good one.

So you think you funny?

Well, if their laughter is any indication,

then, yes, I'm pretty funny.

Go ahead.

Stick up for your little funny boy.

But you ain't gonna be around all the time.

Let's go, fellas.

What is his problem?

We used to all be cool before you moved.

Who knows?

Maybe he didn't get enough hugs as a baby.

You know, I thought those zookeepers

would keep up on that.

Pops.

This the last of it.

The garage is officially clean.

Oh my goodness.

I could not have gotten this done without you two.

That's funny, 'cause we sure got it done without you.

'Cause you're young and strong.

And I'm smarter than you.

Oh. What?

So all this is junk?

Yep.

This is still good.

What you talking about?

All this needs is to be restringed, a little duct tape.

Put that over there for me, CJ.

This is junk?

What's this?

Oh, this is just the stuff that I

decided to take back that you borrowed and never returned.

You need the wheelbarrow to get it home?

Yeah.

That's mine too.

Hey, Pop, since you just mentioned that you couldn't

have done it without us--

Get your hand off me.

How about you show your appreciation for it?

OK.

You don't have to get out.

There.

That's cold.

Come on, Pop, you know we're strapped for cash.

Deal.

Son, I got you, OK?

Soon as your mama give me back the $200 I loaned her,

I let you hold something.

Cool.

Wait a minute.

You really expect Mom to pay you back?

Yeah, she gonna pay me back.

I loaned it to her.

[laughing]

What the hell is so funny?

You, if you expect Aunt Ella to pay you that money back.

I learned a long time ago, any time Janine says, "loan me

something," it's a gift.

As long as I've been married to Miranda,

she hasn't paid me back anything.

In fact, any time I mention it, she goes on and on

and on about how she takes care of my house,

cleans up after my kids, and deals with my crazy family.

Well, that's you all's problem.

Ella's not like that.

She's trained.

What's that?

[startle]

[laugh]

You know what?

Unlike you all's trifling pair, my wife pays me back.

But what if she doesn't?

She's going to.

If she doesn't, I will loan you money that you will

never, ever have to pay back.

OK, but you can't ask for it.

Yeah, she got to volunteer.

That's fine.

I know my wife.

She gonna come, she gonna say, Curtis, thank you.

She gonna give me a kiss, and she gonna hand me $200.

[slap]

OK.

Today?

Today.

Today?

Trained.

Hey, hey.

Hello, hello, hello.

Hey.

Hi, handsome.

I got your shirt.

Yes.

How much was it?

It was 30% off.

What do you think?

It's cool.

Actually, that one was 60% off.

- Oh, yeah. - Oh, it was 60?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's my new favorite shirt.

You don't look like it.

Nice earrings.

Don't worry.

Your mother bought them for me.

I'm not worried.

Hey, babe.

Hey, Curtis.

How was your shopping?

Curtis, I had a great time shopping today.

Good, good, baby.

Thank you, baby.

Give me a kiss.

[smooch]

[laughing]

Peace.

Bam!

Ow!

My man.

OK, enough of that.

Let's go.

I wanna try this stuff on.

Oh, come on.

Oh, this was wonderful, baby.

I mean I had the best time.

Thank you, Curtis.

Come on, come on, come on.

[laugh]

Choo choo.

Some training.

[slap]

[laugh]

[smack]

Hey, fellas, look.

Hey, man, that shirt is so gay.

[snickering]

How can a shirt be gay?

It must be really hard work being that ignorant.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to offend you, Little Miss Sunshine.

Did I ever do something to you?

Did Rashard do something?

Your existence bothers me.

It ain't right.

What are you talking about?

See, you think we stupid.

No, just you.

Yeah, aight.

I'm gonna catch you and your fairy god sister later.

You can bet that, chump.

Man.

What's that idiot talking about now?

Same as usual.

Now he's accusing us of being gay.

How crazy is that?

Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

I mean, if he spent as much time learning history

as he does making a fool of himself,

then he wouldn't have to repeat it.

Did you ever have a gay friend?

I don't know.

I never really thought about it.

What if I told you I was gay?

Man, stop playing.

No, really.

Malik.

I'm gay.

I love this new detergent you turned me onto.

Oh, you are welcome.

He was getting bigger.

Miranda.

Oh!

This is Calvin's favorite shirt.

I remember buying this for his little birthday.

He wanted to wear this to church every Sunday.

[KID VOICE] I wanna put on the blue one.

[laugh]

He loves that shirt.

Baby, have you seen that rag I use to dry the car?

Oh, there it is.

What?

Nothing.

Ella.

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby.

I was just in the back, watching this great movie,

called "The Payback."

You ever seen it?

It's a great movie about this guy who runs around,

paying everybody back that he owes, just 'cause

it's the right thing to do.

Didn't he kill the people?

Yeah, only the people who didn't pay him back.

Pops, stop.

I know what you're doing.

[stuttering]

What?

Ain't doing nothing.

Only talking to my wife, pleased about a movie.

Hey, hey, hey.

Mr. Payne.

What you doing?

What is he doing?

Ugh, not I gotta rewash those.

[chuckle]

You got gone.

- Hey, Mr. Payne. - Hm?

You wanna know my favorite movie?

It's "Mahogany" with Diana Ross.

Didn't nobody care about your movie.

I did see that.

Yeah, I did see that one.

Hey, baby.

Yes?

You remember that song we used to love?

"The Big Payback," James Brown.

That was your cut.

That was your cut.

Curtis, ooh.

Dear lord, it's a big payback.

That's a big payback.

No hints.

[thwack]

[groan]

What are you doing?

Um, hints about what?

I don't know what he talking about.

Besides, you know how crazy his family is.

[thud]

I ran across a verse that touched my heart to the point I

remember it verbatim.

I think it was in the Antique testament, and it said--

I remember it, I remember it.

It said, "Blessed are the saints who payeth back people

that loaneth them money--

eth.

Today-- eth."

I know you are not talking about the money you gave me.

No, baby.

I'm talking about the $200 I loaned.

Oh!

Forfeit.

I don't have to pay you back.

Oh, shut the hell up.

Yeah, before I tell Miranda how you wouldn't let her go

shopping, but you went and bought that brand

new, expensive fishing rod, and hid it in the garage.

Oh, no, you didn't.

Oops.

That's why I'm gonna keep the shoes and the purse

that I had hidden under the bed.

Oh, and just so you know--

my earrings?

I bought them.

Full price.

Your mom didn't buy them.

Baby, how you gonna lie to me like that?

You lied to me.

Curtis Payne, I know that you are not serious about wanting

that money back after all the things

that I have given to you.

Well, baby, I give to you too.

Come on.

You borrowed the money from me.

I loaned it to you.

How was I supposed to know the difference, Curtis?

Because you said, "Curtis, can I borrow $200 so

I don't have to go to a ATM."

Right.

And I said, "of course, lovely wife,

you can, because I love you, as long as you pay it back."

You never said that.

Oh, baby, I didn't think I had to.

OK, fine, Curtis.

You can have your little funky $200 back.

OK?

See if I care.

Where's it at?

Shut up!

[thud]

I think you care a little.

All right, finish telling us what's going on.

He just came out of nowhere and said that he was gay.

I mean, I didn't expect that.

Go, Rashard.

I used to see him checking me out.

Rashard's a good kid.

I guess I just never would've expected in a million years.

Can't say that.

You knew?

Well, I can't say that either.

I didn't know.

I had my suspicions.

Now I don't know what to do.

What do you mean?

You and Rashard have been friends since you were little.

Yeah, but that was before I found out.

Why should that change anything?

I don't know.

I guess I just don't want people to think that I'm gay.

What's the big deal?

You know who you are.

I guess.

[sigh]

I wish it were that simple, but you

know, we are all subject to the way others view us.

Dad, do you--

do you have any gay friends?

Yeah.

Don't you care how people look at you?

No, no, I don't care.

I understand.

It's--

Son.

Everybody deserves a friend.

Did you have a hard time putting Christian down?

Nope, he went right to sleep, even

with all that loud black noise.

OK, I know what white noise is,

but what exactly is black noise?

CURTIS: [SINGING] Who that talkin' 'bout being a falcon?

Who that? Who that?

Who that talkin' 'bout being a falcon?

Who that?

Who that talkin' 'bout being a falcon?

Now I get it.

Ooh, smells good in here, baby.

What we having?

Just sit down, baby.

I'll fix your plate.

Cool, cool, cool.

Whoa, whoa.

Yes.

You could've asked.

Here you go.

Oh, baby, them pancakes look like sugar cookies.

Curtis.

What?

There's only one pancake left?

Curtis, it's OK, hubby.

We can split it.

Can I split it with them?

Now, Curtis, please.

Oh, babe, my piece is bigger than yours.

Baby, don't worry about it.

No, no, no, Curtis.

It's OK, honey.

I do not want to have to owe you some pancake later.

I hate when that happens.

I know what you're doing.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You want some syrup, baby?

Oh, I want some syrup.

Only after your father.

You don't want to deprive him of what

he's worked so hard to give us.

Or is the syrup a loan too, baby?

Stop playing, Ella.

No, Curtis, I'm not playing.

I'm not playing at all.

I'm trying to be fair.

And in doing so, I did some digging.

I did some digging in those old receipts, baby,

and look at this.

Do you remember-- do you remember

me loaning you this robe?

No, I don't.

I remember this robe being a gift.

No, no, no, Curtis.

I loaned you the money to get this robe.

So technically, the robe belongs to me.

And I wants my robe.

I wants my robe, Curtis, and I want it now.

Is this what you wanna do?

You wanna do this?

Curtis.

You want me to loan you some bacon, Mr. Payne?

Oh, I got some eggs that you can have,

but you gotta give them back.

Don't throw that.

Curtis, don't--

All right, I'll admit, maybe I went a little

overboard with the loan stuff.

A little bit?

Maybe a lot.

Yes, Curtis, a lot.

We are family, Curtis, and we share things.

We give each other things, and we should

not expect anything in return.

I guess ain't nothing like family, huh?

[scream]

Curtis!

Uh, hello?

Oh, really?

Ah, all right.

Well, I understand.

Look, I'm on my way right now.

Hey, I would love to hang, but family emergencies.

I-- I gotta roll.

You know there's no one on the phone.

It is somebody on the phone.

Yeah, look, it's Rashard.

He's talking about nobody else is on the phone.

I don't know.

I--

[cell phone ringing]

[beep]

I guess they hung up.

I know I dropped a bomb shell on you yesterday.

Yeah, man.

Look, that is an understatement.

Look, man, it's not like I can go around advertising it.

Man, you see what happens.

Yeah, guys like Damon pick on you, I know.

I'm not worried about guys like Damon.

The problem is losing friends like you, bro.

I know.

I just-- I don't--

I can't--

You know, I get it.

You don't want people to think you're like me.

So as your friend, I'll do what's best,

and I'll keep my distance.

See you around, bro.

Where you think you going?

Actually, I'm going to see your mother.

And tell her to stop calling me.

She's really not my type.

I see.

Somebody been taking tough man lessons from his boy.

But see, that ain't gonna help you today.

'Cause now, it's just you and me.

Whoa, whoa, and it's me too, all right?

So leave my boy alone.

You know what they say, right?

Birds of a feather.

We're not friends because we're the same.

We're friends because we respect

each other's differences.

But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

[MOCKING] You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

Man, whatever.

Me and my boys, we tight.

Oh, really?

Well, maybe you should tell them that the next time you

catch up with them.

Hey, man, where y'all going?

Y'all be trippin'.

Yo, thanks for having my back, bro.

No problem.

OK.

Too early?

Too early.

Get that.

[laugh]

[theme music]