All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S08E40 - Batter Up WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

[birds chirping]

[SINGING] Gada mia.

Miss Ella!

Oh, so how was the game?

We won!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no thanks to you.

Oh, come on, now.

Janine did her part.
Come on.

[inaudible]

Oh, please, the only reason
we won is 'cause we sent her

for peanuts in the last inning.

I was not that bad.

Miss Ella, you
should have seen me.

I was running all
over the field.

Yeah, and you didn't
catch one ball, not one.

Hell, the other team was
cheering for her more than they

was cheering for themselves.

The sun was in my eyes.

It was raining.

The rain was in my eyes.

OK, bottom line, we won.

And if we win the next
game, we're in the playoffs.

Yes, fantastic!

When the next game?

Listen, would you guys
like some lemonade?

Yeah, I'm down.

All right.

I'll help you.

Please.

Oh, please don't
let butterfingers

carry any glasses.

She'll drop 'em.

Ha ha.

Janine, here.

Hey, Janine, baby.

Keep the sun out your eyes.

No one is thinking
about you, Uncle Curtis.

Well, I'm thinking about you.

Oh, the worst!

OK, so you going to
tell her, or do I?

Tell her what?

Tell Janine
she's off the team.

Oh, you can't be serious.

Serious as a
heart attack, man.

Come on!

She was terrible.

I had to cover my eyes, man.

I had to cover 'em.

Look, it's just a game.

She's having a good time, man.

I can't tell her that,
it'd hurt her feelings.

CJ, we this close, man.

We this close to
the playoffs, man.

And if we win that,
it's the championships.

And you know what that means--
trophies, free pizza and beer.

And even more important than
that, free pizza and beer.

And that's not to even
mention the bragging rights.

I do like bragging rights.

Of course you do,
because you're a Payne.

So you going to tell her?

Well, uh-- you know, she's got
a lot of team spirit, Uncle--

[glass shatters]

JANINE: I'm sorry, Miss Ella!

[metal clatters]

I'll figure something out.

[theme music]

[horn honking]

[sirens]

Come on, babe.

I'm coming, Curtis.

Aw, look-- everybody,
you guys have

made a lot of progress today.

Yes!

Thank you.

Thank you again and again
and-- muah-- and again.

Curtis, can you please, please,
please help the volunteers

move these big boxes?

Oh, yeah, babe.

ELLA: And put them
over in the corner.

[clatter]

Uh-oh.

[inaudible]

Curtis--

What?

What are you doing?

Babe, it's all going
to the same place.

What?

They're in the corner.

Gracious.

All this work is
making me tired.

ELLA: Can you believe this?

It's the town hall
meeting again.

I cannot believe that they
are going to tear down

the Peach Tree Square area.

I think it's a great idea.

They are planning to build
a whole new subdivision

over there, which translates
into real estate, which

translates into money for us.

Which translates to you
and your family getting

the hell out of my house.

My concern is for the
people that live there.

Where do they go?

Baby, they come back
to the Help Center.

It's a win-win
situation for you, too.

Curtis, please.

Well, doesn't the city
help them relocate, or do

something-- compensate them?
- You know what?

I'm not sure about that.

I didn't get those details.

Mm.

There was this woman's
child who was there,

and the child was just
so loud and disruptive.

Don't you hate that,
Miss Ella, when people

can't control their kids?

ELLA: Hm.

Ding-dong-- I think she
was talking about you.

Miss Ella can't possibly
be talking about me-- please.

Yeah, I was.

What?

Miranda, I love
my grandbabies.

But now you have to admit
Calvin Jr. was just a little

out of control at
that last meeting.

Miss Ella, he was sleepy.

Kids get cranky
when they're sleepy.

OK, baby, can we
go home now, please?

I'm tired.

I want to go home.

I want to go home now!

I want to go home!

And so do grown men.

Baby, I asked you to
help the volunteers.

Baby, I'm helping them.

I've been helping 'em.

I've been supervising them.

Gladys, come on, dear heart.

Come on, remember, I told you?

Get the big boxes.

Get the big boxes first,
then you get the little boxes

and you stack them on top.

Let's come on, let's move
that over to the corner.

OK.

Calm down, I'll help you.

OK, now come on.

Bend your legs so you
don't hurt your back.

You got a lot of boxes to
get, there are boxes outside.

Push, push, push!

Up and down, up and down.

[grunts]

MIRANDA: Miss Ella,
that is a long time

to expect a child to sit still.

Are we still
talking about this?

OK, Miranda, why don't you just
find some type of activities

for your child, so that
he will be distracted.

OK, Ella, Ella, Ella,
Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella!

Baby, I'm bored.
- Curtis--

- I'm bored.
- --here.

- I'm bored.
- Here, here.

- You're kill me.
- Baby, it's story time.

Read this book.

Thank you.

It don't have any pictures.

OK, here, here, here--
here are pictures,

here are pictures.
See?

- OK, cool, that's good.
- Yeah?

OK.

MIRANDA: Miss Ella,
I told him to stop.

And I also saw him raise his
hand at you like he was going

to hit you, Miranda,
at which time

you should have taken
him into the hallway

and spanked his little behind.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

We don't spank our children.

Calvin and I don't
believe in that.

Oh, really?

No, we believe that
you can talk to a child

and you can reason with them.

OK, and after you do
that, then what do you do?

You beat 'em!

You beat their behinds!

You beat that little
baby's behind--

but with love.

If you start
early, it will work.

You just have to let
them know that there are

consequences for their actions.

What the hell are
you talking about?

They're little
itty-bitty kids, Miranda.

They eat boogers if
you don't stop 'em.

MIRANDA: Mr. Payne,
there are other ways

to discipline your children.

I'm not saying you don't
discipline them at all.

But there's time-out, there--

there's--

Spare the rod--

spoil the child.

See, girl, I'm telling
you, the key is protein.

No, I'm serious.

I've been drinking a
protein shake every day

and I can already tell my
game is getting better.

Yeah, yesterday, I
swung that bat so hard--

oh!

No, I still missed the
ball, but when I do hit it,

it's going to be over.

Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm so excited--
oh, wait, wait, wait.

I got to call you back,
CJ just walked in.

OK, bye.

Hey, baby, you want
some protein shake?

It's what the players drink.

Oh no, you just go
ahead with that, player.

JANINE: OK.

But I do have
something for you.

What you got?

Bam!

Bam?

An all-expense paid trip
to the best spa in Atlanta.

Baby?

Who did that?

You did that!

Who did that?

Baby, I have wanted
to do this forever!

Thank you! [SINGING]
I'm going to the spa.

I'm going to the spa.

[SINGING] You
going to the spa!

You going to the--

No, wait, wait, wait,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Uh, what's the problem?

Baby, this-- this says
it's for this Saturday.

What's-- what's--
what's the problem?

Baby, that's game day.

What's the problem?

I mean, everybody
will understand

that you getting your
stone massage on,

and you getting
your seaweed wrap--

JANINE: I can't
let the team down.

How would that look?

[SOFTLY] Like a chance to win.

Listen, I know you
had the best intentions.

It was very sweet.

But I'm just going to call the
spa, explain the situation,

and I'll reschedule.

CJ: No, no, you
ain't got to do that.

JANINE: Yes, I do, baby.

No, no, no, you deserve
this whole situation.

I know and after we
win that championship,

I'm going to take it.

Listen, listen, I
know you're a little

nervous because I fumbled a
few balls, but I got this.

I got this, baby, look.

I got a whole cup
of protein shake.

Cup of protein.

A whole cup.

Thank you.

Hey, baby, I thought they
loaded the truck yesterday.

Don't start that, Curtis.

We thought that they were going
to load them yesterday, too.

But Miranda did not
pack the boxes properly.

We need one cereal,
two vegetables,

and a staple, like peanut
butter, or something like that.

But it's not her fault.
She did not know.

Well, I guess there's a
lot of thing she don't know.

Thank you.

Like how to raise a kid.

Baby, she's a young mother.

She still has a whole
lot of parenting to do.

She'll learn, though.

Yeah, well, I hope she
learn before Calvin Jr.

and Christian
start pimp-slapping

her to get a sippy cup.

Hey, give me my sippy cup, beo--

Curtis!

[inaudible] Sorry.

My grandbabies.

Of course I'm not talking
about abusing your children,

but when they're out of line,
listen, a hard hit makes a--

Makes a soft behind.

That's my favorite scripture.

What you looking at?

Give me the can.

Well, I'll tell you what,
if they cut up with me,

it's me and kneel, believe that.

And if they're with me, I will
spank their little behinds--

with love, of course.

Of course.

Whoo!

[SINGING] Free beer
and free pizza.

Oh, free beer, free pizza.

[LAUGHING] Did you tell her?

Did you tell her?

Did you tell her?

Did you tell her?

Win this!

No, I--

Oh, you were
supposed to tell her!

You were supposed
to tell her, man!

You said you was
going to handle it.

Well, I tried to get her to
do something else that day,

but she's determined to play.

OK, then I'll tell her--

Janine!

No, shh!

You're going to
hurt her feelings.

CJ, watching her
play hurts my feelings.

What about me?

She's not going to quit,
so I suggest if you

can't beat 'em, join 'em.

What the hell are you saying?

We should all play
as bad as Janine?

No, no, that's
not what I'm saying.

I'm saying that, you know,
we should help her out.

You know, coach her a little
bit, give her some tips.

I've got to a tip for
her-- play volleyball!

Hey ya.

Hey, Janine.

We were just talking about you.

What'd you say?

You need to quit.

Holding the bat
the way that you do.

What's wrong with
the way I hold the bat?

It doesn't touch a ball.

Come here, baby.

See.

What you've got to do
is you've got to bend

your knees and your elbows--
- OK.

Right?

And when you-- you know,
you hold the bat like this,

and then when it's
time, you step in

and you follow through, right?

OK.

CURTIS: Yeah, and that'll
help you miss a little less.

I think I got it.

OK.

OK.

Come on, Unc, throw a good one.

If I throw a beach
ball, she won't hit it.

Hey, you might want to
back up, Uncle Curtis.

This is going to
be out the park.

I just had my protein--

CJ: Hey, babe, babe.

Protein is-- is-- forget
about the protein.

CURTIS: Yeah, can
you see the ball?

I see the ball.

CURTIS: Keep your eye on it.

OK.

Oh!
I'm sorry!

I'm sorry.
- That's it!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry-- too much lotion.

I just lotioned up.

I--

There goes the
free pizza and beer.

Maybe we should
just work on catching.

Thank you.

I might as well be
throwing it at a mannequin.

JANINE: Listen, I
can do this, OK?

I just need to focus
my coordination,

keep my eye on the
ball, and put it here.

CURTIS: Here we go.

All right.

Yeah!

[screams] I did it!

I did it!

See, I told you I could do it.

OK, throw it back.

Huh?

Throw the ball back.

It's part of the game.

OK.

God help us today!

Um, I'm going to go get the
ball from across the street.

Yeah, yeah,
that's a good idea.

OK, ow.

- OK, can you find it?
- Yeah.

All right.

Well, we could just look
at the bright side--

that's all I got.

What's going on, baby?

Nothing.

Oh, I had a taste for some
freshly-squeezed lemonade

and I'll be done with it in
a minute if you'd like some.

MIRANDA: No, thank you.

I'm not thirsty.

Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, Miranda.

Dana stopped by
today, [LAUGHING]

and she told me that little
Derek wanted to know, couldn't

understand why he had to
sing "Yes, Jesus Loves Me"

at Sunday School.

So then Dana said to him, 'make
a joyful noise unto the Lord.'

And then Derek said, 'but
isn't the Lord resting today?'

Isn't that funny?

I thought it was hilarious.

I'm surprised you
didn't tell the Sunday

School teacher to beat him.

No, baby, why
would I say that?

Oh, I thought
that's how you handled

all disobedient children.

Miranda, now you know that
is not what we meant, baby.

Oh, it isn't?

Because I heard you and Mr.
Payne talking and saying

that you would spank Calvin
Junior and Christian,

regardless of my wishes.

ELLA: Miranda, come,
come, come, come on.

Now Miranda, Curtis and
I have raised Calvin

and CJ and others, and rarely--

and I do mean rarely-- have
we ever had to spank them.

I respect that.

But my children
will not be spanked.

You may find
yourself in a situation

where you've talked until
you are blue in the face,

and their behavior could
lead to bigger trouble.

A spanking could let a child
know that they've gone too far.

I think it's the
easy way out, and I

will not resort to
barbaric measures

to discipline my children.

But hold on,
baby, hold on, baby.

'Barbaric'?

Sweetie, Curtis and I
have done a darn good job

of disciplining our children.

Yes, but Calvin
Jr. and Christian

are not your children.

They are me and
Calvin's children.

And nobody, under
any circumstance,

is going to spank my children.

This some bull.

I can't believe you
didn't tell her yet.

I need the right time.

The game is in an hour, CJ.

You know what?

Come on, let's just leave.

Sorry, I'm running behind.

I'm so sorry.

You ready to go, babe?

Let's go!

Yeah, uh, Janine, baby--

have a seat.

But we don't have time.

We have to get up
there, warm-up, stretch.

We got to look at the lineup.
We--

You have time.

OK, just make it
really quick, OK?

Yeah.

All right, I--

You won't need this.

OK.

I cannot wait to get
on that field and use

the tips you guys taught me.

Thank you so much,
it meant a lot.

OK, what you got?

Yeah, baby, see you know
how you doing a PR job, right?

We go with this crap?

And see, the other
people doing the job,

they be-- they not doing a
really thorough job, see?

- Oh, I hate that.
- Right.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, and you agree that
in order to get the job done,

you've got to move all
the obstacles out the way.

Absolutely.

You got to get
them out the way.

Absolutely, let's go!

OK, see, that's
what I'm faced with.

So what are you
saying, you have to let

go of someone at the office?

No, I have to let go
of you from the team.

Thank you.

See, was that so hard?

So you won't be
needing this, baby.

But wait, wait, why?

Why?
I've been working so hard.

I thought I was doing better.

And we appreciate that.

Oh, look, it's
typical for a team

to let a player go that's
got the most errors.

Yeah, especially
during the playoffs.

CURTIS: Especially
during the playoffs--

that's what they--
that's what you do.

It's in the stats.

You got the stats, don't you?

Yes, in my front pocket.

CURTIS: You got it right here.

OK, it's right here.

There you go.

Oh, here it is, right here.

Here you go.

Look at this, babe.

Look at this.

Look at your errors. [GIGGLING]
I had it upside-down.

Babe, look.

Look, baby, it's right here.

Look!

Look!

Look at it.
- You can't argue with that.

CURTIS: You can't argue with
the pap-- with the stats, baby,

it's on paper.

See, 17, 18, here--
JANINE: 18.

You can't argue with that.

18?

Come on, we got to let you go.

We got to let you--

JANINE: Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

Uncle Curtis, you-- you have 22.

You have 22 errors.

What-- say what?

You have 22 errors,
six in one game.

You're reading it upside down.

No, OK, that's still 22.

Yeah, yeah, that's 22.

It's still backwards.

22 is 22.

[STAMMERING]
Oh, you know what?

I didn't have my
lucky socks that day.

Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey.

No, wait, technically, that
means that Uncle Curtis should

be the one being let go, right?

No, Nephew?

CJ: [STAMMERING]
Uh, technically.

[screams] That means I'm in!

Uncle Curtis, you're out!

[paper crumpling]

Miss Ella--

- Miranda--
- OK, you first.

You first.

I couldn't find an olive branch,
so I brought you these flowers.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

I was writing
you a letter, but I

couldn't get past 'I'm sorry.'

ELLA: Miranda, listen.

I don't want you to
think for one minute

that Curtis and I do not
love you and respect you.

I know.

And I know that words
can cut like a knife.

So for what Curtis and I said
about you not wanting to spank

your children, I'm sorry.

It is yours and Calvin's
decision as to how

you raise your boys, not ours.

I appreciate that.

I said some pretty harsh
things also, and I apologize.

Your apology is accepted, OK?

OK.

Come on-- muah.

Love you, baby.

Love you.

Ooh, yes, ah.

And I will not
spank your children.

What about Mr. Payne?

Now I said I will not
be spanking your children.

That-- that bridge
you're going to have

to cross when you get to it.

MIRANDA: [laughs]

JANINE: Aunt Ella, come
here, come here, come here!

[shrieking]

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Oh, so I take it you guys won.

Yeah.

[grunts]

I had the grand
slam, you know.

And playoffs, here we come!

Yes!

JANINE: I caught the
ball for the final out.

Yes, I did.

I caught it.

I caught it!

Very good, very good, great.

Oh, baby, what did you do?

Well, I hit the ball.

You know I hit.

You know I hit.

Yes.

Ooh, did you make a home run?

No, I didn't make a home run.

I didn't even say home run.

I just said I hit it.

Was it a base hit?

No, baby, come on.

When did you get so
interested in softball?

I said I hit the ball.

I hit it and I could see
the base where I fell, but--

what did you do
with my lucky socks?

I need my lucky socks.

[music playing]