Original subtitles

[birds chirping]

[SINGING] Gada mia.

Miss Ella!

Oh, so how was the game?

We won!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no thanks to you.

Oh, come on, now.

Janine did her part. Come on.

[inaudible]

Oh, please, the only reason we won is 'cause we sent her

for peanuts in the last inning.

I was not that bad.

Miss Ella, you should have seen me.

I was running all over the field.

Yeah, and you didn't catch one ball, not one.

Hell, the other team was cheering for her more than they

was cheering for themselves.

The sun was in my eyes.

It was raining.

The rain was in my eyes.

OK, bottom line, we won.

And if we win the next game, we're in the playoffs.

Yes, fantastic!

When the next game?

Listen, would you guys like some lemonade?

Yeah, I'm down.

All right.

I'll help you.

Please.

Oh, please don't let butterfingers

carry any glasses.

She'll drop 'em.

Ha ha.

Janine, here.

Hey, Janine, baby.

Keep the sun out your eyes.

No one is thinking about you, Uncle Curtis.

Well, I'm thinking about you.

Oh, the worst!

OK, so you going to tell her, or do I?

Tell her what?

Tell Janine she's off the team.

Oh, you can't be serious.

Serious as a heart attack, man.

Come on!

She was terrible.

I had to cover my eyes, man.

I had to cover 'em.

Look, it's just a game.

She's having a good time, man.

I can't tell her that, it'd hurt her feelings.

CJ, we this close, man.

We this close to the playoffs, man.

And if we win that, it's the championships.

And you know what that means-- trophies, free pizza and beer.

And even more important than that, free pizza and beer.

And that's not to even mention the bragging rights.

I do like bragging rights.

Of course you do, because you're a Payne.

So you going to tell her?

Well, uh-- you know, she's got a lot of team spirit, Uncle--

[glass shatters]

JANINE: I'm sorry, Miss Ella!

[metal clatters]

I'll figure something out.

[theme music]

[horn honking]

[sirens]

Come on, babe.

I'm coming, Curtis.

Aw, look-- everybody, you guys have

made a lot of progress today.

Yes!

Thank you.

Thank you again and again and-- muah-- and again.

Curtis, can you please, please, please help the volunteers

move these big boxes?

Oh, yeah, babe.

ELLA: And put them over in the corner.

[clatter]

Uh-oh.

[inaudible]

Curtis--

What?

What are you doing?

Babe, it's all going to the same place.

What?

They're in the corner.

Gracious.

All this work is making me tired.

ELLA: Can you believe this?

It's the town hall meeting again.

I cannot believe that they are going to tear down

the Peach Tree Square area.

I think it's a great idea.

They are planning to build a whole new subdivision

over there, which translates into real estate, which

translates into money for us.

Which translates to you and your family getting

the hell out of my house.

My concern is for the people that live there.

Where do they go?

Baby, they come back to the Help Center.

It's a win-win situation for you, too.

Curtis, please.

Well, doesn't the city help them relocate, or do

something-- compensate them? - You know what?

I'm not sure about that.

I didn't get those details.

Mm.

There was this woman's child who was there,

and the child was just so loud and disruptive.

Don't you hate that, Miss Ella, when people

can't control their kids?

ELLA: Hm.

Ding-dong-- I think she was talking about you.

Miss Ella can't possibly be talking about me-- please.

Yeah, I was.

What?

Miranda, I love my grandbabies.

But now you have to admit Calvin Jr. was just a little

out of control at that last meeting.

Miss Ella, he was sleepy.

Kids get cranky when they're sleepy.

OK, baby, can we go home now, please?

I'm tired.

I want to go home.

I want to go home now!

I want to go home!

And so do grown men.

Baby, I asked you to help the volunteers.

Baby, I'm helping them.

I've been helping 'em.

I've been supervising them.

Gladys, come on, dear heart.

Come on, remember, I told you?

Get the big boxes.

Get the big boxes first, then you get the little boxes

and you stack them on top.

Let's come on, let's move that over to the corner.

OK.

Calm down, I'll help you.

OK, now come on.

Bend your legs so you don't hurt your back.

You got a lot of boxes to get, there are boxes outside.

Push, push, push!

Up and down, up and down.

[grunts]

MIRANDA: Miss Ella, that is a long time

to expect a child to sit still.

Are we still talking about this?

OK, Miranda, why don't you just find some type of activities

for your child, so that he will be distracted.

OK, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella, Ella!

Baby, I'm bored. - Curtis--

- I'm bored. - --here.

- I'm bored. - Here, here.

- You're kill me. - Baby, it's story time.

Read this book.

Thank you.

It don't have any pictures.

OK, here, here, here-- here are pictures,

here are pictures. See?

- OK, cool, that's good. - Yeah?

OK.

MIRANDA: Miss Ella, I told him to stop.

And I also saw him raise his hand at you like he was going

to hit you, Miranda, at which time

you should have taken him into the hallway

and spanked his little behind.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

We don't spank our children.

Calvin and I don't believe in that.

Oh, really?

No, we believe that you can talk to a child

and you can reason with them.

OK, and after you do that, then what do you do?

You beat 'em!

You beat their behinds!

You beat that little baby's behind--

but with love.

If you start early, it will work.

You just have to let them know that there are

consequences for their actions.

What the hell are you talking about?

They're little itty-bitty kids, Miranda.

They eat boogers if you don't stop 'em.

MIRANDA: Mr. Payne, there are other ways

to discipline your children.

I'm not saying you don't discipline them at all.

But there's time-out, there--

there's--

Spare the rod--

spoil the child.

See, girl, I'm telling you, the key is protein.

No, I'm serious.

I've been drinking a protein shake every day

and I can already tell my game is getting better.

Yeah, yesterday, I swung that bat so hard--

oh!

No, I still missed the ball, but when I do hit it,

it's going to be over.

Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm so excited-- oh, wait, wait, wait.

I got to call you back, CJ just walked in.

OK, bye.

Hey, baby, you want some protein shake?

It's what the players drink.

Oh no, you just go ahead with that, player.

JANINE: OK.

But I do have something for you.

What you got?

Bam!

Bam?

An all-expense paid trip to the best spa in Atlanta.

Baby?

Who did that?

You did that!

Who did that?

Baby, I have wanted to do this forever!

Thank you! [SINGING] I'm going to the spa.

I'm going to the spa.

[SINGING] You going to the spa!

You going to the--

No, wait, wait, wait, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Uh, what's the problem?

Baby, this-- this says it's for this Saturday.

What's-- what's-- what's the problem?

Baby, that's game day.

What's the problem?

I mean, everybody will understand

that you getting your stone massage on,

and you getting your seaweed wrap--

JANINE: I can't let the team down.

How would that look?

[SOFTLY] Like a chance to win.

Listen, I know you had the best intentions.

It was very sweet.

But I'm just going to call the spa, explain the situation,

and I'll reschedule.

CJ: No, no, you ain't got to do that.

JANINE: Yes, I do, baby.

No, no, no, you deserve this whole situation.

I know and after we win that championship,

I'm going to take it.

Listen, listen, I know you're a little

nervous because I fumbled a few balls, but I got this.

I got this, baby, look.

I got a whole cup of protein shake.

Cup of protein.

A whole cup.

Thank you.

Hey, baby, I thought they loaded the truck yesterday.

Don't start that, Curtis.

We thought that they were going to load them yesterday, too.

But Miranda did not pack the boxes properly.

We need one cereal, two vegetables,

and a staple, like peanut butter, or something like that.

But it's not her fault. She did not know.

Well, I guess there's a lot of thing she don't know.

Thank you.

Like how to raise a kid.

Baby, she's a young mother.

She still has a whole lot of parenting to do.

She'll learn, though.

Yeah, well, I hope she learn before Calvin Jr.

and Christian start pimp-slapping

her to get a sippy cup.

Hey, give me my sippy cup, beo--

Curtis!

[inaudible] Sorry.

My grandbabies.

Of course I'm not talking about abusing your children,

but when they're out of line, listen, a hard hit makes a--

Makes a soft behind.

That's my favorite scripture.

What you looking at?

Give me the can.

Well, I'll tell you what, if they cut up with me,

it's me and kneel, believe that.

And if they're with me, I will spank their little behinds--

with love, of course.

Of course.

Whoo!

[SINGING] Free beer and free pizza.

Oh, free beer, free pizza.

[LAUGHING] Did you tell her?

Did you tell her?

Did you tell her?

Did you tell her?

Win this!

No, I--

Oh, you were supposed to tell her!

You were supposed to tell her, man!

You said you was going to handle it.

Well, I tried to get her to do something else that day,

but she's determined to play.

OK, then I'll tell her--

Janine!

No, shh!

You're going to hurt her feelings.

CJ, watching her play hurts my feelings.

What about me?

She's not going to quit, so I suggest if you

can't beat 'em, join 'em.

What the hell are you saying?

We should all play as bad as Janine?

No, no, that's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying that, you know, we should help her out.

You know, coach her a little bit, give her some tips.

I've got to a tip for her-- play volleyball!

Hey ya.

Hey, Janine.

We were just talking about you.

What'd you say?

You need to quit.

Holding the bat the way that you do.

What's wrong with the way I hold the bat?

It doesn't touch a ball.

Come here, baby.

See.

What you've got to do is you've got to bend

your knees and your elbows-- - OK.

Right?

And when you-- you know, you hold the bat like this,

and then when it's time, you step in

and you follow through, right?

OK.

CURTIS: Yeah, and that'll help you miss a little less.

I think I got it.

OK.

OK.

Come on, Unc, throw a good one.

If I throw a beach ball, she won't hit it.

Hey, you might want to back up, Uncle Curtis.

This is going to be out the park.

I just had my protein--

CJ: Hey, babe, babe.

Protein is-- is-- forget about the protein.

CURTIS: Yeah, can you see the ball?

I see the ball.

CURTIS: Keep your eye on it.

OK.

Oh! I'm sorry!

I'm sorry. - That's it!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry-- too much lotion.

I just lotioned up.

I--

There goes the free pizza and beer.

Maybe we should just work on catching.

Thank you.

I might as well be throwing it at a mannequin.

JANINE: Listen, I can do this, OK?

I just need to focus my coordination,

keep my eye on the ball, and put it here.

CURTIS: Here we go.

All right.

Yeah!

[screams] I did it!

I did it!

See, I told you I could do it.

OK, throw it back.

Huh?

Throw the ball back.

It's part of the game.

OK.

God help us today!

Um, I'm going to go get the ball from across the street.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.

OK, ow.

- OK, can you find it? - Yeah.

All right.

Well, we could just look at the bright side--

that's all I got.

What's going on, baby?

Nothing.

Oh, I had a taste for some freshly-squeezed lemonade

and I'll be done with it in a minute if you'd like some.

MIRANDA: No, thank you.

I'm not thirsty.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, Miranda.

Dana stopped by today, [LAUGHING]

and she told me that little Derek wanted to know, couldn't

understand why he had to sing "Yes, Jesus Loves Me"

at Sunday School.

So then Dana said to him, 'make a joyful noise unto the Lord.'

And then Derek said, 'but isn't the Lord resting today?'

Isn't that funny?

I thought it was hilarious.

I'm surprised you didn't tell the Sunday

School teacher to beat him.

No, baby, why would I say that?

Oh, I thought that's how you handled

all disobedient children.

Miranda, now you know that is not what we meant, baby.

Oh, it isn't?

Because I heard you and Mr. Payne talking and saying

that you would spank Calvin Junior and Christian,

regardless of my wishes.

ELLA: Miranda, come, come, come, come on.

Now Miranda, Curtis and I have raised Calvin

and CJ and others, and rarely--

and I do mean rarely-- have we ever had to spank them.

I respect that.

But my children will not be spanked.

You may find yourself in a situation

where you've talked until you are blue in the face,

and their behavior could lead to bigger trouble.

A spanking could let a child know that they've gone too far.

I think it's the easy way out, and I

will not resort to barbaric measures

to discipline my children.

But hold on, baby, hold on, baby.

'Barbaric'?

Sweetie, Curtis and I have done a darn good job

of disciplining our children.

Yes, but Calvin Jr. and Christian

are not your children.

They are me and Calvin's children.

And nobody, under any circumstance,

is going to spank my children.

This some bull.

I can't believe you didn't tell her yet.

I need the right time.

The game is in an hour, CJ.

You know what?

Come on, let's just leave.

Sorry, I'm running behind.

I'm so sorry.

You ready to go, babe?

Let's go!

Yeah, uh, Janine, baby--

have a seat.

But we don't have time.

We have to get up there, warm-up, stretch.

We got to look at the lineup. We--

You have time.

OK, just make it really quick, OK?

Yeah.

All right, I--

You won't need this.

OK.

I cannot wait to get on that field and use

the tips you guys taught me.

Thank you so much, it meant a lot.

OK, what you got?

Yeah, baby, see you know how you doing a PR job, right?

We go with this crap?

And see, the other people doing the job,

they be-- they not doing a really thorough job, see?

- Oh, I hate that. - Right.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah, and you agree that in order to get the job done,

you've got to move all the obstacles out the way.

Absolutely.

You got to get them out the way.

Absolutely, let's go!

OK, see, that's what I'm faced with.

So what are you saying, you have to let

go of someone at the office?

No, I have to let go of you from the team.

Thank you.

See, was that so hard?

So you won't be needing this, baby.

But wait, wait, why?

Why? I've been working so hard.

I thought I was doing better.

And we appreciate that.

Oh, look, it's typical for a team

to let a player go that's got the most errors.

Yeah, especially during the playoffs.

CURTIS: Especially during the playoffs--

that's what they-- that's what you do.

It's in the stats.

You got the stats, don't you?

Yes, in my front pocket.

CURTIS: You got it right here.

OK, it's right here.

There you go.

Oh, here it is, right here.

Here you go.

Look at this, babe.

Look at this.

Look at your errors. [GIGGLING] I had it upside-down.

Babe, look.

Look, baby, it's right here.

Look!

Look!

Look at it. - You can't argue with that.

CURTIS: You can't argue with the pap-- with the stats, baby,

it's on paper.

See, 17, 18, here-- JANINE: 18.

You can't argue with that.

18?

Come on, we got to let you go.

We got to let you--

JANINE: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Uncle Curtis, you-- you have 22.

You have 22 errors.

What-- say what?

You have 22 errors, six in one game.

You're reading it upside down.

No, OK, that's still 22.

Yeah, yeah, that's 22.

It's still backwards.

22 is 22.

[STAMMERING] Oh, you know what?

I didn't have my lucky socks that day.

Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey.

No, wait, technically, that means that Uncle Curtis should

be the one being let go, right?

No, Nephew?

CJ: [STAMMERING] Uh, technically.

[screams] That means I'm in!

Uncle Curtis, you're out!

[paper crumpling]

Miss Ella--

- Miranda-- - OK, you first.

You first.

I couldn't find an olive branch, so I brought you these flowers.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

I was writing you a letter, but I

couldn't get past 'I'm sorry.'

ELLA: Miranda, listen.

I don't want you to think for one minute

that Curtis and I do not love you and respect you.

I know.

And I know that words can cut like a knife.

So for what Curtis and I said about you not wanting to spank

your children, I'm sorry.

It is yours and Calvin's decision as to how

you raise your boys, not ours.

I appreciate that.

I said some pretty harsh things also, and I apologize.

Your apology is accepted, OK?

OK.

Come on-- muah.

Love you, baby.

Love you.

Ooh, yes, ah.

And I will not spank your children.

What about Mr. Payne?

Now I said I will not be spanking your children.

That-- that bridge you're going to have

to cross when you get to it.

MIRANDA: [laughs]

JANINE: Aunt Ella, come here, come here, come here!

[shrieking]

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Oh, so I take it you guys won.

Yeah.

[grunts]

I had the grand slam, you know.

And playoffs, here we come!

Yes!

JANINE: I caught the ball for the final out.

Yes, I did.

I caught it.

I caught it!

Very good, very good, great.

Oh, baby, what did you do?

Well, I hit the ball.

You know I hit.

You know I hit.

Yes.

Ooh, did you make a home run?

No, I didn't make a home run.

I didn't even say home run.

I just said I hit it.

Was it a base hit?

No, baby, come on.

When did you get so interested in softball?

I said I hit the ball.

I hit it and I could see the base where I fell, but--

what did you do with my lucky socks?

I need my lucky socks.

[music playing]