Original subtitles

Oh, cool.

Ella!

Baby! ELLA PAYNE: Curtis, what?

Come here. Hurry up.

Come here! I want to show you something.

Curtis, is everything OK?

Yeah, baby.

Come here.

Baby, what is it?

Baby, you going to miss the wrestling match?

Curtis, that's my plan-- to miss it.

What do you have against wrestling?

Aside from the fact that it's too violent and fake, Curtis--

Yeah.

Aside from that.

I don't get it.

I don't get that and I don't understand why you like it.

Baby, it's family fun.

What are you talking about?

It is not.

You need to sit and enjoy, for a minute--

Not for this family.

You know how much I love wrestling, Ella.

Don't do that.

You know I used to go to wrestling

matches all the time, when I was little.

Oh, you're not allowed--

I was going to be a wrestler, if it weren't for my allergies.

What are you allergic to?

Pain.

And spandex.

Curtis, listen, you enjoy that, OK?

Oh.

Where are you going?

To see if I can get the last three minutes of my life back.

Hey, baby, you know what?

That ain't right because I'm always watching stuff with you

that I don't want to watch.

Like what, Curtis? You do?

Like what?

All the time.

Like what?

Well, I don't know what.

I'm usually asleep.

Exactly.

But I'm there for you, Ella.

And I'm there for you.

I just don't want to watch that, Curtis.

Look at it.

I mean, it's ridiculous.

No, it's not, baby.

Hello!

Thank God you are here.

Rescue me, rescue me, baby.

Can you believe that Curtis is wanting

me to just watch something as barbaric as wrestling?

Oh, it's on already?

Yes!

Oh, man!

Is it Sea Monster?

Yes!

[IN UNISON] Blah!

Oh, please, please, please, please--

please, tell me-- please, tell me that you do not like this.

I am Sea Monster's biggest fan.

You know, normally, I would believe that,

except I'm his biggest fan.

Oh, for real?

Yes.

Well, do you have a picture of Sea

Monster on your bedroom wall?

Please, I would never.

That's so tacky.

I keep it in my sock drawer--

right, baby? Ella!

You better tell here. - Yeah!

You better tell her where I keep it.

Yeah, you do.

You keep it right in there, next to your common sense.

Wrong!

I keep that in the medicine cabinet, next to the deodorant.

Would you do me a favor?

Please, baby, just use one of them today.

I vote for deodorant.

[theme music]

You crazy.

I turned around.

And the next thing I knew, she went

an put on her own handcuffs. - What?

Hey, that's the last time I pick

up a girl at a nursing home.

What?

Man, she works there.

Shh!

Shh!

Please, guys!

Quiet!

Babe, don't you have an office?

Yes.

I will send you the application.

You, too.

Thank you.

All right.

I know, boss.

Obviously not.

You two have more energy than my two year old.

It's been two weeks and neither of you

are showing any signs of slowing down.

You know, hanging out with my old college

boy got me feeling young!

And I feel and look younger than you.

OK.

Now wait-- I don't know about all of that.

Yeah. You know what?

You drive a Porsche and that makes you look desperate.

You want one, don't you?

Hell yeah!

I'll hook you up.

I mean, that's one of the perks in, uh--

owning a dealership.

- Are you serious? - Are you for real?

Oh my god!

That would be great!

What are you so excited about?

I cannot not pick up chicks with you in the whip.

Where are your chicks going to sit with all them

car seats in there, papa?

Oh!

The car seats don't go in the Porsche.

Oh, they will be in the Porsche.

Trust. Trust.

The car seats go in the truck.

Speaking of which, let me go and get the kids from school.

Good seeing you again, Craig.

You, too, Janine.

CJ, if the sun beats you home, stay out.

With one of my chicks?

You really want this kind of trouble?

I was-- I was kidding.

I was kidding.

I wasn't.

I was kidding.

Well, I wasn't kidding about getting you into a car.

Man, you know I can't afford that thing.

Look, man, you'd be doing us a favor.

Just think, if people see the fire commissioner

rolling around in one of our cars,

we'll snap a few publicity shots--

it's instant advertising.

I would look good in that.

All I have to do is draw up the papers

and it could be yours.

Why don't you go ahead and take it for a few days.

No, do it.

See if you like it.

You serious?

As a five alarm fire.

Nice!

Thanks, man.

What's the catch?

You send all the sexy women who

slip your their numbers my way.

I'll do that anyway.

Hell, if I didn't, Janine would kill me.

So we got a deal?

I'll try it out.

My man!

It's full!

Shh!

Shh!

Shush it up!

Rule number two-- don't scare the fish.

Now come on.

Get this.

So wait, uh--

Mr. Payne?

Mm?

What's rule number one?

Bring the beer.

Lots of beer.

Right here.

Now this is yours.

It's not yours.

Be careful with it, OK?

Gently.

Gently.

[pole falling] You!

You! I'm sorry!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I wasn't ready.

OK. Come on.

Now we got to find a good spot.

First thing you do is find a good spot so you can cast--

cast your line. - OK.

You should find the perfect spot.

Here we go.

Oh.

No, no, no. Hold on!

Hold on!

I'm sorry.

No, no, no.

OK, OK, OK.

OK.

Will you sit the hell down, baby bear?

You can't be scaring the fish.

OK.

Let me show you how to cast your line out.

We got a good spot.

And now just hit it--

bam!

There it is. Look at that.

Look that! Oh, that's good!

That's a good first try! MIRANDA PAYNE: I did it!

CURTIS PAYNE: You're a natural.

MIRANDA PAYNE: I am?

CURTIS PAYNE: Yeah.

Sure, you're way better than Ella.

ELLA PAYNE: Better at what than Ella?

CURTIS PAYNE: What you say, baby?

ELLA PAYNE: Better at what than Ella?

CURTIS PAYNE: No, I said, ever since I met you,

I'm a much better fella.

ELLA PAYNE: You such a liar, Curtis.

CURTIS PAYNE: No, I'm not.

I'm a much better fella since I met Ella.

MIRANDA PAYNE: Hey, Miss Ella, you look so pretty.

Where are you going? ELLA PAYNE: Thank you.

We are going to the museum to see the Picasso exhibit.

Yes.

CURTIS PAYNE: Well, you two have a good time.

MIRANDA PAYNE: I think she means you two-- you and her.

CURTIS PAYNE: No.

She can't possibly mean that.

ELLA PAYNE: Yes, I do, Curtis.

Curtis, yes, I do!

CURTIS PAYNE: What?

ELLA PAYNE: Remember?

Baby, you said, whatever I want to do this weekend,

you would come with me.

CURTIS PAYNE: No.

Baby, I said, whatever you want to do in the house,

concerning beer and the TV.

ELLA PAYNE: Curtis, will you please stop being silly.

Come on now. Hurry, baby.

CURTIS PAYNE: We're fishing.

MIRANDA PAYNE: Well, you know, we can

always do this another time. It's--

CURTIS PAYNE: Will you shut up, please?

MIRANDA PAYNE: I mean-- and Miss Ella's all dressed.

CURTIS PAYNE: And you still talking.

You still talking.

ELLA PAYNE: It's OK.

If you think that you'll have more fun doing that, then--

CURTIS PAYNE: Oh, thanks, baby.

Because this is way more fun than whatever

I'd have to do with you.

OK.

I'm going to get my fly reel, so then you can learn

how to catch with a fly rode.

MIRANDA PAYNE: OK.

Miss Ella?

Are you sure that you're OK with this?

Because I just wanted to learn how to fish,

so I could go with Calvin and the boys.

ELLA PAYNE: You two go on.

Just go on and have fun fishing.

MIRANDA PAYNE: Thanks.

Oh!

CURTIS PAYNE: Oh!

Look what I found!

Look what I found!

This is my lucky hat!

MIRANDA PAYNE: Oh!

This is so much fun!

CURTIS PAYNE: This is the first hat--

I found this hat in the first, big fish I caught!

MIRANDA PAYNE: In it?

CURTIS PAYNE: In the stomach.

MIRANDA PAYNE: Ew!

CURTIS PAYNE: You know I was just joking.

[laughing]

CJ PAYNE: Man, Craig!

That car is crazy!

That is crazy!

Wow!

CRAIG: I'm glad you like it!

JANINE PAYNE: I can't believe how fast it is!

CJ PAYNE: It goes from 0 to what the hell!

Baby!

Janine--

JANINE PAYNE: What?

CJ PAYNE: You need to fix your hair?

JANINE PAYNE: My hair?

What ha--

CRAIG: You see what you two have been missing?

Look, this is how people of your stature are supposed to live.

JANINE PAYNE: I've always, always wanted a Porsche.

[shrieking]

CRAIG: Look, you two are going to look great driving

that car down Peachtree.

CJ PAYNE: Man, I can't believe you are doing this!

CRAIG: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

You're not the only one to benefit.

It's a tax write off for me.

Look, besides, dealerships donate cars all the time.

If you're tired of that one, bring

it back and get another one?

JANINE PAYNE: Are you sure?

CRAIG: Of course.

Look, it's the cost of doing business.

You like it, don't you?

CJ PAYNE: We-- well-- you know-- you know--

CRAIG: Look, look, look-- why don't

you and Janine take the car for another spin, just

the two of you?

And I'll see you when you get back.

CJ PAYNE: Janine, you got shotgun!

JANINE PAYNE: Oh, man! CJ PAYNE: Put this on!

JANINE PAYNE: Why can't--

CJ PAYNE: It fits your head.

JANINE PAYNE: Not funny.

CRAIG: Bye, guys.

Oh, those two are crazy.

[cell ringing]

What's up, Manny?

Oh, don't worry about the code violations.

We'll have the club up and running by tomorrow.

Yes, I'm sure.

I go-- guess what I bought today.

The fire commissioner.

Everything is going to work out just fine.

ELLA PAYNE: What are you doing?

What are you doing?

CURTIS PAYNE: Looking for a screwdriver.

What does it look like I'm doing?

I'm getting some sample.

ELLA PAYNE: Curtis, dinner will be ready soon, baby.

CURTIS PAYNE: Baby, you always say that.

You say that, and then an hour goes by,

and I got to sneak food behind your back.

ELLA PAYNE: Curtis, baby-- baby.

Baby, please.

OK. I'll tell you what--

I'll tell you what--

let's play cards while we wait.

CURTIS PAYNE: You don't even like playing cards with me.

ELLA PAYNE: That's because you cheat.

I do like playing cards, but you cheat, baby.

Just don't cheat.

Just-- let me season this dish, baby,

and then-- and then I'll come in and play with you for a second,

OK?

CURTIS PAYNE: OK.

I'll play, but I can't promise you I'm not going to cheat.

ELLA PAYNE: I know you're going to cheat.

CURTIS PAYNE: OK.

ELLA PAYNE: OK.

MIRANDA PAYNE: You don't want none of this.

CURTIS PAYNE: Woman, I am one of the best card

sharks this side of Atlanta.

ELLA PAYNE: Curtis?

Curtis, what are you doing it?

CURTIS PAYNE: I can't use that.

Baby, really?

We're about to play cards.

ELLA PAYNE: Curtis, I thought we were going to play cards.

MIRANDA PAYNE: Oh, Miss Ella, I'll get up, if you want play.

You can play. - Uh, uh.

What you doing? No.

What? You scared?

You sit right there.

And you going to back up all that trash talk you been doing.

MIRANDA PAYNE: Oh.

So you really want to get embarrassed in your own house

tonight, right?

CURTIS PAYNE: Hey, baby, bring us beer, would you, please?

MIRANDA PAYNE: Mm hm. Oh, oh!

That sounds good. Can I have one, too?

CURTIS PAYNE: Yeah.

That's two of them.

Just bring us two of them, baby.

Come on! It's your go.

What you waiting on? MIRANDA PAYNE: Eh!

CURTIS PAYNE: You didn't pull! MIRANDA PAYNE: Eh!

CURTIS PAYNE: What are you doing?

MIRANDA PAYNE: I did pull!

See, you know what?

Hey.

So-- so remember when you said I could

talk to you about anything, whenever,

no matter what it was?

- I do. - Yeah.

Unless--

Unless there's a game on.

And then myself or one of the twins has to be on fire.

That's my girl.

What's up?

I don't know how to say this, but--

remember-- OK.

I-- look-- - Say it!

OK.

Craig's trying to set you up.

What are you talking about?

I overheard him talking to one of his partners on the phone,

saying he's got you bought, OK?

He said there wasn't going to be a problem

with any of the codes, or violations,

or something like that.

- Maybe you misunderstood. - No.

No, no, no.

I know what I heard? OK, baby?

He's up to no good. You got to believe me.

Listen. Listen.

Listen, listen, listen.

Craig is a good dude.

Baby--

I've known his brother so long.

I know.

[knocking]

He would not-- that's my boy.

I know he wouldn't do that.

Come on!

CJ, please, listen to me.

I'm telling you.

What's up, man?

Hey!

What's that?

Executive Suite ticket to the game.

Exec-- Executive Suite!

Man-- man, where did you get these?

Man, a customer gave them to me.

Get out of here!

The first person I thought of was you.

You game?

Yeah, man!

Let me get my--

CJ, I really think you should--

Oh!

And Janine-- I almost forgot.

I know you two probably haven't had a night out in a while,

so these are for next weekend.

Mary J. Blige?

Mary J. Blige!

Front row seat, backstage passes, and valet parking.

You know, I was going to take my girl,

but she found out I had another girl, so she tripping.

Listen, I don't think--

Hey, hey, hey.

Don't worry about it.

Baby?

Huh?

You got a little--

I do?

What?

You got a little egg on your face.

CJ, I'm serious.

You need to watch out for him.

Come on!

Baby, please, listen!

Come on, baby!

You ready, man?

Hey, let's go, man! Let's go and do this, man!

- Let's make it happen, boy! - Let's go.

Hey, look, I need to talk to you about something on the way

down there. - OK.

OK. - Cool.

That's what I'm talking about!

Baby!

Listen, we have enough problems up in this piece.

You need to come home with some tickets for a brother

some time.

[inaudible]

Would you listen to me!

I know you can't use that.

Now--

Oh!

Gin, baby!

What you holding there?

I won!

You were cheating.

What you holding there--

that's so wrong.

Good, good, good.

Well, Miranda, I am going to the mall

to do some shopping for the boys, would you like to come?

Yes, but can we go to Lenox?

Yes.

Oh, good!

Because Sea Monster is signing his new book today there,

"BFF: Bruised Feet and Fingers."

[IN UNISON] Is that today?

Then let's go!

Curtis, no.

Curtis!

Curtis, you hate the mall.

Not when Sea Monster's there.

Bleh!

Curtis, honestly-- honestly, baby, I just wanted Miranda

and I to go to the mall.

You don't even like wrestling.

Curtis, right, I don't like wrestling, baby.

I just want to spend some time with Miranda.

You know, just Miranda and me doing women things,

talking about women things.

Oh.

Woman talk. What?

You pregnant?

No.

Are you?

No.

What-- what can't you talk about that I can't hear?

Miranda, you been tearing that [inaudible] with somebody else?

No!

You have, too!

Curtis!

OK, baby.

You know how you hang with Floyd and you don't want me around?

All the time.

Well, I'd like to hang out with Miranda and--

You don't want Floyd around?

We don't want you around.

Ouch!

I would like to spend some time with you.

Really?

I'd like that.

Yes!

So I guess y'all are just going to leave

me here by myself then.

Oh, Curtis, now don't do that, baby.

I would love to spend some more time with you,

but I don't want to go looking at no Sea Urchin.

Just Stuff the blasphemy!

It's Sea Monster.

Bleh!

Miranda, baby, just bring me back a picture, OK?

Take a picture with him.

Make sure he grinning, so I can see

the front grill because I love to see all

the teeth he got knocked out.

Me, too.

I love that!

Oh my goodness!

CURTIS PAYNE: Isn't it the best!

Bleh!

And do that-- bleh!

He'll be like this, bleh!

Well, wait, watch this.

Miranda, I'd like for you to do something for me.

Oh, what's that?

Well, if it's not--

if it's not too uncomfortable, I'd

like for you to call me mom.

- Really? - Yes.

OK.

How about you, Mr. Payne?

No.

I already called her mama.

Ew.

Tell her why I call you that. MIRANDA PAYNE: Ew!

ELLA PAYNE: Curtis! - Tell her why I call--

No!

Man, best ending of a game ever!

Man, I know.

Look, my man got crossed over so bad--

look, left his ankles at half court.

Hey, hey, you want a beer?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take one.

All right.

Look, look-- but the drinks are going to be on me,

once my new spot opens?

Now tell me about that again, man.

You want me to be a-- a partner?

Where-- where's this place at?

Oh, look, man, it's in midtown,

near the Theatre District.

Oh, you mean that old bank?

That's the one.

Man, we closed that place down a month ago

for fire violations.

I know.

And that's where you come in.

Oh.

So you want me to make that problem go away?

Smart man.

Look, you going to be a great partner--

and a rich one!

I can't do that, man.

I would lose my job.

Come on, CJ I could lose this deal.

Look, man, we supposed to be boys.

Is that what all this was about?

I mean, the tickets, the dinner, the cars.

Oh, look, I've looked out for you in hopes

that you would look out for me.

Oh, man.

I thought you changed, man.

Wait, wait.

Hey, hold up, man.

Hey, what's that supposed to mean?

That means you always got some kind of hustle.

You trying to cut corners and it always blows up in your face.

Man, I can't be a part of this.

Hey, look, look, look--

CJ, man, you got to help me, man.

Look, the only thing I bring to the table

is the fact that I know you and your connections.

If I don't deliver, then I'm out.

Man, look, you and your partners, y'all need

to do business the right way.

Oh, so accepting my gifts-- huh?

That's doing things the right way?

What's that supposed to mean?

When people find out that you've been taking kickbacks,

it might not look so good.

You know what?

It's about time for you to go.

This conversation is over.

You know what?

Cool.

You ain't worth all this anyway.

What was that?

I'll get this done with or without you.

Thanks for nothing.

And one more thing, Craig--

Yeah.

See, I knew it.

I knew it.

What you need?

Lose my number.

I heard.

Sorry, baby.

I'm sorry.

You were right.

You're my man.

I got to look out for you.

That's why I love you.

Prove it.

Prove it?

Prove it.

You want me to prove that I love you?

Come on, baby.

Bam!

Oh, you sure you want to play that card?

Yup.

Then I'm out.

What?

Game over!

I'm out, baby!

You broke!

Damn, Miranda!

She beat you like you stole something.

Come on! I'm getting in on this.

Come on!

Oh, no, no, no. Me it's best three out of five.

Come on. Let's go, Miss Ella.

No three out of five!

Come on!

What am I supposed to do?

Oh, Curtis, please.

Just make some lemonade or something, baby.

Oh!

And this time, do not put so much sugar in it, baby.

That last batch kind of gave me sugar diabetes.

Come on, little lady.

Come on, Miss Ella!

Wait a minute!

Wait, wait, wait.