Original subtitles

Guess who?

Whoa.

Baby?

I just put the boys to sleep.

Baby, it's so good to see you.

Now, baby, is that a "good to see you,

I miss you," or a "good to see you.

I need help"?

Both.

So what made you decide to come home?

Well, I'm feeling better, and it was time.

Mhm.

So your dad kicked you out.

He didn't kick me out.

It's more like "threw."

Well, regardless, I'm so happy you're here.

Well, how happy are you?

Well, I can show you better than I can tell you.

You know I know what you like.

Wait, wait, baby.

I'm still in a little pain in my scars.

OK, well, I promise to be gentle.

Well, in that case, I better get a couple of waters.

This may take a while.

[knocking on door]

Mom.

Hi.

What are you-- what are you doing here?

I know your father kicked you out before you were ready,

so I came by here to take care of you.

Come on, grab your pillow.

Careful.

And your crossword.

All right.

And mom's chicken soup.

But Miranda is--

I know.

Miranda has her hands full with the boys.

But don't worry.

Mama's here to help.

Mama's here to help.

MIRANDA: Calvin.

Did you hear her calling you?

Calvin!

No.

MIRANDA: Calvin, I'm ready.

Oh!

Wait.

Wait, move, boy.

Move.

Hey, Miss Ella.

Hi.

Um, I was about to do laundry.

Oh, uh-huh.

Right.

Does she dress like that all the time around the house?

She's gonna catch a cold.

But good thing I brought soup.

"Thanks, Mom."

Thanks, Mom.

Yeah.

[theme music]

Are you ready for some football?

Yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

No, daddy.

It's too violent.

Look at his face.

Do you really want Jayden playing ball?

Hell yeah.

OK, well, then I guess that means

Hayden can be a cheerleader.

Oh, hell no.

It's too dangerous.

All right, let's go.

Come on.

You ready?

Come on, babe.

You guys have fun.

I am going to be cleaning messes,

constantly feeding people, and making sure babies don't cry.

- OK. - All right.

Have fun, guys.

Thank you.

Say "bye, Daddy."

Bye, Daddy.

Bye.

Agh!

I smashed my thumb in the car door!

Uncle Curtis.

Uncle Curtis, you--

[crying]

My popcorn!

Ain't y'all got popcorn?

Man.

Uncle Curtis, look what you did, man.

Oh, you got snacks.

Thank you.

Put it right there. I'm gonna get it up.

It's OK. It's all right.

I need something for myself.

[phone ringing]

My phone.

My phone.

Here, take him.

Here, go to Daddy.

Come here, buddy.

All right, it's OK, Mama.

This is Janine. - What's up?

You all right?

Oh, no, no, no.

But I have plans today.

No other time?

All right, I'm on my way in, then.

Ugh.

Who was that?

The office.

I forgot I'm supposed to be leading the ethics seminar.

Oh, that's too bad.

I know.

Bye.

- Bye. - Nice.

That was nice.

You're getting good in your old age, CJ.

OK, that's cute, but what am I gonna do with the twins?

Uh, take 'em with you!

Never too early to learn a trade.

Combination!

Combination!

I'm so proud of you.

Oh, it's good.

They just keep coming.

They just keep coming.

Like these twins.

Come on, you gotta help me with the babies.

What?

I can't take them to work with me, CJ.

No, you can.

That's to good too.

You can.

Uncle Curtis, please.

OK, don't step.

You're just walk on it like that?

I'm gonna clean this up later.

I appreciate that.

Here you go.

I have to go to work.

Aw.

Why you putting the--

what are you--

All right.

Thank you.

OK, baby.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Listen, Mommy has go to work, but soon as I get done,

we'll do something fun, OK?

All right? All right?

Thank you, baby.

I'll take 'em.

I'll take 'em.

What is wrong with you?

We watching the game!

Are you sure you can handle this?

This is your second chance.

This is your second chance.

Second chance.

This is your second chance. Just talk to her.

Tell her the truth. - I'm sure, baby.

Go ahead. - Thank you, baby.

Love you.

Your second chance, you blew that one.

Here.

This is your fourth bowl of soup.

Mom, this is the best chicken soup ever.

Thank you, baby.

Mwah.

What about my chicken soup?

Miranda, you don't even make soup.

I made you soup just the other day

and brought it over to your mom's house.

That was soup?

I thought it was gravy.

It was soup.

I made it with my own two hands.

Those two biscuits that sopped it up said it was gravy.

Well, baby, you didn't put any salt in it.

Yes, because it's bad for his blood pressure.

So is bland food.

I know it makes me pressure rise.

I can't stand bland food.

But it's OK.

It's OK, baby.

Listen, everybody, can't be good at everything.

Except you, Mama.

Oh, excuse me.

You say the sweetest things.

To some people.

I'm sorry.

What did you say? - Oh.

Oh, nothing.

No, no.

What did you say?

Um, Calvin, can I talk to you over here for a moment, please?

OK, you two talk, and I'll go and check on the kids.

They have just been way too quiet.

What's on mind, baby?

Everything!

This pillow, and the soup, and the food.

I know.

It's great, isn't it?

No!

I should be getting your pillow!

But it was at my mom's house.

You know what?

Your mother has been here for one hour,

and she has changed the linen on the beds,

she has cleaned out our refrigerator,

and she has rearranged-- - Shh!

Are you shhing me?

She's rearranged my kitchen cabinets three times.

OK, baby.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to tell her to leave.

But that'll hurt her feelings.

Well, letting her take care of you is

hurting my feelings right now.

OK, I'll do it.

Can I finish my soup first?

The kids are watching TV.

Well, this Miss Ella, Calvin has something he would

like to talk to you about.

Now I'm gonna change Christian, because I'm

sure it's about time.

I already did.

Of course you did.

What?

Baby, what did you just say?

Oh, nothing, Miss Ella.

Nothing.

You need to learn her to speak up.

I mean, she's such a mumbler.

[mumbling]

What did you wanna talk to me about?

Is that apple pie?

You know it.

Oh, now what were you gonna talk to me about, Calvin?

Um, Mom, you know I love you, right?

And I love you, baby.

That's why I didn't go to work today.

I didn't even get my car washed, did not get my hair done.

And I don't want you to think I'm a bad son.

Why would I would think that, Calvin?

Because I want three slices of that pie.

Oh no.

That's all right, baby.

Uncle Curtis did not mean to sit on you.

Look, I'm sorry, OK?

Y'all need to teach her to watch where she's sleeping.

[doorbell rings] Get that.

That's Floyd.

And CJ, remember, he just had a bad break-up.

So I'm supposed to be nice?

Hell no.

I'm just telling you, he had a bad break-up.

You want a chip?

- What's up, Floyd - Hey.

- Flodizzoyd. - What's happening, Floyd.

Scissor.

I brought a six pack.

What up, homie?

Why are there only three?

She tried to take 'em back, talking about she paid for 'em.

Just 'cause she gave me the money.

The nerve.

I know.

Why did she only take three?

'Cause I'm faster than her.

Now, you know that's crazy.

What, that she wanted 'em back?

No, that you're faster than somebody.

Was she in a wheelchair or something?

It's a motorized chair.

Thank you.

Come on, man up!

Drown your sorrows, like a real man do.

Come on, we gotta toast.

Here, CJ.

Toast to real men.

I'm coming right back, baby.

And Floyd.

Huh!

What's wrong?

Are you thirsty?

OK.

You want something?

You want something to drink, Jayden?

All right, buddy.

I've got you covered.

I want a drink.

I only brought three.

Oh, he wants to drink what we drink.

Ready?

OK, here you go.

See, he usually drinks whatever we drink.

So we either gotta stop drinking beer or--

Remind me never to come over here again.

Hey, where's Jayden?

No, he was just sitting right there, but?

Jayden?

Jayden!

Hey, come on, y'all.

Y'all gotta help me look.

One of y'all go upstairs, and you look in there.

I don't know where he could have went.

Slippery little things, ain't they?

Jayden, Jayden!

Jayden.

Jayden.

Jayden. Jayden!

Stop playing.

Jayden.

I can't find him anywhere.

I still can't find him.

You missed this one.

Oh, God, this one was ridiculous.

Come on, ref!

[sobbing]

I think I hear something.

It's not coming from up there.

It's coming from the closet.

Don't worry, baby.

Daddy's coming.

Why you got to be so evil?

Why?

I thought you were my baby.

What?

Who's calling me "baby?"

Wouldn't you like to know.

Her voice just real deep.

Bye.

Uncle Curtis, will you watch Hayden while I look for Jayden?

And while you're at it, see if you can find his manhood.

[phone ringing]

It's Janine!

What do I do?

Do what any grown man would do in this situation--

don't answer the phone.

If I do that, then she'll know something is wrong.

Just keep searching, and try to act natural.

Janine.

Hey, baby.

No, everything over here is fine.

Yeah, yeah, it's all good.

The twins?

You miss 'em?

Me too.

All right.

She wanna talk to 'em.

- They sleep. - They sleep.

Yeah.

OK.

Well, we'll see you when you get here.

She's on her way home.

You sure better find him now.

Don't worry. OK?

I'm sure we'll find him.

He's probably closer than we think.

I cannot believe that you didn't tell her.

Her she had pie.

OK, it was harder than I thought.

That's because you're such a mama's boy.

I am not.

I'm a grown man.

Hi, Mommy.

Hey, baby.

Towel's are done.

If you don't tell her, I will.

OK.

Tell her what?

Hey, Mom, Miranda has something to tell you.

Calvin!

OK, well.

What's wrong, Miranda?

What's wrong?

It's really nothing, but we were--

I was thinking that I could take care of Calvin here.

What?

Well, I could take care of Calvin here

and you can go home.

That's what I thought you said.

Ma, don't hurt her.

She doesn't know what she's saying.

Run, Miranda.

I can't hold her off forever.

Calvin, move, boy. Move.

OK, Miranda, let's move. You get the kids.

I'll pack the clothes.

No, we are not moving.

We need to get this settled once and for all.

Oh.

So you've had this on your heart for a minute, huh?

Yes, I have.

I wouldn't go there, Miranda.

We're already there, Calvin.

We're already there.

As you were saying?

I may not be perfect, but I try damn--

darn hard for my family.

And I know we both want the best for everybody.

But how do you expect me to show it if-- if when he comes out

the hospital he goes to your house,

and then when he comes here, you come here?

Miss Ella, I'm here.

I'm here, Miss Ella.

And you feel the same way, Calvin?

Huh?

You feel the same way?

Yes.

Hey, good.

Glory to God.

Thank you, Jesus.

Hey, the day has finally come.

And I am free.

Hallelujah.

Wait, wait, Miss Ella, you're not mad?

Mad? Why?

Baby, why would I be mad, honey?

Why would I be mad?

I thought you guys needed me.

If you don't need me, that's fine, baby.

I--

No, no, no, it's not that we don't need you.

We're always gonna need you, and we appreciate everything

that you do.

But this is my husband, and I got him.

It Yes, you do, baby.

You can have him.

I'm gonna go and take care of my husband.

Next time, just please tell me so that I

can go on and get my hair done.

I could get my car washed.

I could have gone to the help center today.

I didn't even have to come in here.

I got it.

Hooty, hoo, since you got it, your gravy

is burning on the stove.

It's soup!

Gravy!

I finally got Hayden to sleep.

I can't believe this.

I know.

This SpongeBob is a rerun.

What is wrong with this apple juice?

Oh, that's unsweetened.

We don't want the kids to have too much sugar.

Ugh!

Now I know why Jayden ran off.

Now I'm worried.

Hey, look, don't worry, don't worry.

They're probably just playing "hide from daddy,"

just like you and Calvin used to do when y'all was little.

And you remember how fun that was.

But you never used to look for us.

That was the fun part.

But I love you.

I hate you too.

I love you. Call you later.

Bye-bye. - Floyd.

- Hm? - Come on, man.

I need you to focus.

Man, we gotta find Jayden.

I know, but Jackie, she keep calling me, dog.

I never heard the phone ring, not one time.

I mean, I accidentally called her.

17 times.

You know, women be tripping.

Come on, what's up, dog?

[clattering]

I heard somebody in the kitchen.

Where you at?

I know you're in here.

This is nice.

Hey, guys.

Hey.

Hey!

Janine home!

Janine's home.

Where are my babies?

Uncle Curtis was--

had-- was drinking out of the baby's water bottle.

Uncle Curtis! - What?

What the hell are you talking about?

You know you drank out of that water bottle!

[shouting]

Stop. Who?

Who lost my baby?

He drank out of the water bottle!

Ain't nobody lost a baby.

The babies are fine!

Forget the water bottle.

Where are my children?

Your children?

Tell her where the children are.

Where are my kids?

The kids are--

they-- there he is!

The boy, look at him!

He was in the closet!

He was in the closet the whole time!

So I was getting ready to tell you he was hiding the closet.

- He was hiding in the closet? - Yeah, that's right.

He wanted to surprise. - Well, where's Hayden?

She's taking a nap.

She's taking a nap?

You wanna go see Hayden? - Yeah.

- Let's go see Hayden. - Yeah.

See?

This all-- everything worked out perfect.

Yeah, that's wonderful That's wonderful.

Hayden's not up here.

No. No, stop it.

You got--

I'm just playing.

You know what?

You ain't getting me!

You-- you can't get us!

[laughter]

I put her down myself.

Oh, baby, this is so nice.

I totally agree.

Just think, a little while ago,

we didn't know if you'd ever walk again.

Now you're all strong and virile.

Ouch.

Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.

Did I hurt you?

Just kidding.

That's not funny!

Ow.

Oh, oh. You know what?

No. Uh-uh.

You're not gonna get me again.

No, it really did hurt that time.

Baby, I'm sorry.

You got me again.

Yeah, but I'm planning to, and my mom's not gonna

be able to save you this time.

Oh, save me?

I don't think so.

She saved you.

Oh, how about you go to the bedroom,

and I'll meet you with the bottle?

OK, I can't wait.

[crying]

How about you go to the babyroom,

and I'll meet you with the bottle?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Mhm.

[theme music]