All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S08E26 - In Payne WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[music playing]

Hey, Mr. C. Mr. C. I know you hear me.

Mr. C. Hey.

Just let me read the paper.

I just--

What?

I need another name for the word pest.

Write this down.

OK.

D-E-S-H-A-W-N.

Cool.

Hey, hold up.

That's my name.

Right.

Leave me the hell alone, pest.

Now, that's funny.

That's-- Calvin, did you hear what I just told him?

I wasn't listening to you.

Yeah, I know.

It's too much like hard work.

I personally think it's kind of cool.

I mean, you get to lay around all day,

and have people wait on you hand and foot.

It's not cool, Deshawn.

It's lazy.

It's manipulative.

And I miss it.

Lunch time.

- Oh, good. - Lunch time, baby.

Come on. Sit up.

Sit up.

Sit up.

[inaudible]

Hey.

Hey, no.

Wait.

No.

Where's mine?

It's in the kitchen.

Go on and make your own sandwich, baby.

Well, I'm hurt too.

How - are you hurting, Curtis?

He was shot, left for dead, in a coma, in the hospital.

I cut myself shaving, Ella, this morning.

It was a bleeder, Ella, a gusher.

You really are doing the most.

I cut myself too?

Doing what?

Shaving?

Liar.

Only people that shave their faces in this house

is me and Ella.

Curtis, you know what, I'm not thinking about--

if you don't get in that kitchen and get you a sandwich--

Deshawn, your mother called.

And she's coming for a visit.

Really?

That's great.

I can finally show her my room.

Right.

And after you finish eating, I want you to go clean your room,

so she won't see how you really live.

Yes, ma'am.

Come on, baby.

Let me help you. - No.

I'm not hungry.

Calvin, baby, you haven't eaten all day.

I know.

I just don't feel up to it.

I just want to lay back down.

Quit pushing me.

Calvin, listen, baby.

You have to eat something to keep your strength up.

Come on.

Curtis.

Curtis, come do something about this.

What-- do something about what?

I'm getting something to eat.

You told me to get something to eat.

I'm wasting away to nothing.

Calvin won't eat again.

Do something about this.

He won't eat?

Won't eat Won't eat again.

Calvin.

Calvin.

Calvin.

You ain't gonna eat your sandwich?

No, I'm not hungry.

Curtis, he needs to-- he needs to eat it.

Baby, this food is not gonna go to waste.

If he don't want to eat, he don't want to eat.

I'll tell you what, if his stomach starts touching his,

backbone he'll eat.

When that happens-- trust me.

That's what happened to me.

And I'm eating.

What happened to you?

My stomach touched my backbone.

I want to see your stomach touch your backbone.

Do it again.

Let me see.

If I do it again, go an light a match.

Never mind.

[music playing]

So this old man is walking in the forest, right?

And he comes across this talking frog.

So he looks at the frog and the frog says, hey, if you kiss me,

I'll turn into a beautiful princess and love you forever.

The old man picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket,

keeps walking.

The frog says, hey, hey.

I said if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.

The old man said, at my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.

We'll talk as soon as you get here.

OK.

All right.

Thank you.

Talk about what, baby?

We'll talk about it when she gets here.

[knocking]

I'll get it.

Excuse me.

You don't live here.

Fine.

You want to get up and get it?

I don't say don't get the door.

I'm just saying, you hopped up like you live here.

Don't hop up like that.

You hopped up like at talking frog.

Don't hop up like that.

Just go answer the door.

Could you please get the door?

That may be Deshawn's mother.

Man that joke was funny, man.

Deshawn's mother?

Did you hide all the sharp objects?

- Curtis. - What?

The woman crazy. - My uncle's right.

Because you don't want to get caught

slipping if she back slides.

Would you two please listen?

If you act normal, then maybe she will act normal.

But she'll still be acting.

ELLA: Curtis.

That woman is crazy, Ella.

The woman's crazy.

And you're in denial.

Say it. The woman's crazy.

The woman Is crazy.

Well, say it loud.

The woman's crazy.

She talking about your momma.

- Baby, I-- - You what?

I was--

Curtis.

What you about to say?

I wasn't talking about your momma.

Was you about to lie and say you

wasn't talking about his momma?

I was repeating what you said.

And what did I say?

The woman is crazy.

She talking about your momma.

Baby, listen-- is his momma out there?

Not unless she made of air.

Where's your momma?

She said she couldn't stay.

Well, I thought she said she was gonna come in for a second.

- CJ-- - No, no.

She's just pulling off.

Bye.

So she can't stay?

OK.

All right.

Well, what did you guys do today?

Went to go see that new movie with The Rock.

Oh. Damn.

I want to see that one too.

I haven't seen it yet. So don't tell me about it.

Now, don't tell me either, because I got to Malik

and the kids to go see it.

Oh, y'all ain't miss nothing.

Car blew up, house fell down, and he died at the end.

I said don't tell me that.

Ow.

Deshawn, are you hungry.

No.

But apparently he is.

He's very hungry.

Deshawn, are you hungry?

No.

No thanks.

I had a lot of popcorn and candy.

There you go.

There's proof the woman's crazy.

What do you mean?

CJ, anybody who would buy snacks in the movie theater

is loony.

Please.

You do like any good Christian, respectable woman

like your aunt that was about to lie before I

stepped in and stopped her from going to the pits of hell

for lying.

You smuggle the food in.

That is true.

Cause whenever Janine go to the movies,

we always line her purse.

Actually, my mom lines her purse too.

I just wanted some extra stuff.

Oh, and my mom got a new job and a new place.

Oh, that's cool.

Are the rooms padded?

What color's her jacket?

Is it white?

Buttons or straps?

Strap in the front or the back?

Does she wear a metal mask?

Curtis.

[inaudible]

Why you got to do me like that?

You're so mean.

Baby, we are very happy for you.

God is good.

Yeah, and all she kept saying was I

wish I could repay the Paynes for taking care of my baby.

Oh.

She's crazy and country.

Well, I can make up a payment plan for her.

Oh, please.

It's our pleasure to take care of you, baby.

[cough]

What is this cologne you got on?

Oh, it's-- it's called-- it's called Le Chou.

Well, they named it right, cause Le Chou is

le choking the hell out of me.

Go back there and wash up before dinner.

Wash hell.

Take a bath.

And wash the Le Chou off, before I le choke you.

Oh, and I almost forgot, my mama

wants me to come live with her.

She what?

I'm taking a bath.

It's good to see that you're better.

This what you call getting better?

Calvin, we all have to start somewhere.

Come on.

Just sit right here.

I don't want to sit down.

OK.

Are you OK, baby?

No, mom.

I'm not OK.

I hate this.

Calvin.

OK, are you hurting?

Yes.

I'm hurting.

Everything on me hurts.

Feels like this pain is never going away.

I can't sleep.

I don't have an appetite.

I can't walk.

I can't do anything.

Calvin, I know that this is tough for you right now.

And it may not seem like it right now.

But you are blessed to be alive.

Blessed?

Blessed to be alive, yes.

Mom, do you believe when someone dies they go to heaven?

Yes.

I-- I believe that.

Then, I would be better off if they would've killed me.

Calvin.

Are you sure that he said that?

Miranda, I know what I heard.

Well, maybe he needs to talk to somebody.

Oh, you remember we had this therapist at the station

and whenever we had a problem, we'd talk to the therapist?

Yeah, I remember.

Dr. Reid.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The only problem would be getting him over.

Well, we have to do something.

I Know.

I know we do, baby.

I mean, we can only do so much.

Calvin's got to want to do it.

I mean, he's a grown man.

Well, he's acting like a child.

I don't know what's wrong with that boy.

Well, you know, trauma affects everybody different.

Yeah.

Remember Billy, started gambling?

Yeah.

Davis started drinking.

Like a fish.

Watson.

You know Watson tried to commit--

Yes, sir.

What?

No.

No, Curtis.

I don't want to hear that.

I will talk to him.

- Right now please. - I got it.

I got it.

Oh, boy.

Hey.

Hey.

What's wrong with you?

What's not wrong with me?

My back is killing me.

My chest hurts like hell.

My legs are still numb.

I'm not talking about that, Calvin.

I'm talking about in your head.

Your mom says that you've been talking about dying

or you want to die or something.

No.

I said I'd be better off.

You'd be better off?

Well, what about me and your mother and your wife and kids?

Would we be better off?

Pops, I was just thinking out loud.

No, you weren't thinking, Calvin.

Son, you've got people around you that love you.

And when you say stuff like that,

do you know what you're really saying?

You're saying you don't give a damn about us.

That's selfish.

It's hard, Pop.

Yeah.

it's hard.

But I can't tell your kids that, Calvin.

Yeah, your dad, he was a good man.

Oh, but life was hard.

And so you got to go out there on your own.

Good luck.

Sorry you don't have him.

You just don't understand.

Yes, I do understand, Calvin.

I do understand.

I understand it gets hard.

I understand it's tough.

And sometimes you want a way out.

I mean, I've been there a few times in my life.

No you haven't.

I have, Calvin.

You know what kept me going?

Do you?

What?

God gave me you.

Because when the day was messed up

and it looked like everything was falling apart,

I'd come home and see you.

Son, sometime God responsibilities,

just to keep you moving.

And when he give you those responsibility,

he give you the strength you need to achieve.

He gives you the provisions you need to conquer your problems.

All you got to do is keep moving, keep fighting.

Calvin, you're stronger than this.

I saw it.

When I saw you laying in that coma in that bed,

I thought you were gonna die.

But you didn't.

You fought.

You whopped death.

So come on, son.

You got to fight.

OK?

You've got to fight.

You can't give up, Calvin.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Come on.

Come on.

You got to keep fighting.

You got to stay in it, boy.

You got to stay in it.

You got to stay in it, Calvin.

You fight.

What you think you're doing?

I was looking-- looking for my skateboard.

Wait right here.

OK.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Thanks.

But I wanted the blue one.

What's wrong with this one?

Nothing, you know.

It just ain't blue.

I got the blues.

Wait right here.

OK.

What are you doing in there?

I was looking for your blue skateboard.

But I didn't see it.

I don't even got a blue skateboard.

[inaudible].

I'm sorry.

Then, why you having me looking for a blue skateboard

if you don't have one?

I don't know, because I had nothing better to do.

All of them are in there making some big fuss over Calvin.

Shoot.

All he did was get shot.

All my homies been shot, two times.

And they cool.

No, it ain't cool.

Ain't nothing cool about getting shot.

Then, what's wrong with him?

It's complicated.

You wouldn't understand.

You young.

He in there trying to cope with getting shot, ain't he?

Boy, what you know about coping?

I watched the "First 48."

And the walls are paper thin.

We're just trying to help him out.

OK?

That's cool.

You got anything else you want to talk about?

No.

OK.

Well, you know, my mom wants me to come live with her.

And how you feel about that?

I like it over here.

Better than with your mom?

I don't know.

I mean, she got a good job and a new house.

She said she did it for me.

- That's big. - No.

Just-- just two bedrooms.

No, no, no.

I mean, that for her to get all of those things

for you is-- is a big thing.

I guess.

I think she needs me.

Well, I can see that.

Yeah.

I am pretty special.

So what do you want to do?

I'm not sure yet.

I mean, Aunt Ella and Uncle Curtis will be crushed.

Well, I know Aunt Ella will.

But Uncle Curtis.

I don't think they'll be able to get over me.

Well, not just them.

You know, you've become special to all of us.

You know what?

Let me let you in on a little secret.

OK.

Be quiet.

Hey, baby.

Hey, Calvin.

Hello, Miranda.

You ready for some steel?

Curtis.

Now, come on.

Come on.

You see me?

I see you there.

Do you see me coming?

I see you, playa.

Excuse me.

Oh, man.

Don't you burn rubber on this carpet.

They see me coming.

You heard of "Pimp My Ride."

Well, this is Pimp My Walker.

You've seen them on street corners and in hospital wards.

And now, you'll see one every day in the Payne house.

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together.

Feast your eyes on Calvin and this walker.

Calvin, we love you, Calvin.

What is that?

That's my crowd noise.

Smell like your crowd been eating a lot of garlic.

What in the world is this?

You guys pimped my walker?

Yeah, man.

Some guys at the barbershop, you know, they pimp out rides.

So I said, they owe me a favor.

Pimp this out for my cousin.

And look here.

It got spinners.

Oh, and Cal, for whenever you traveling at night,

got you some lights, playa.

See, what I call this is Walker, Texas Ranger.

Well, I'll call it Johnny Walker, Texas Ranger.

Ya heard?

Oh, and I want one.

Mr. C, we have to make you the reinforced model.

Calvin, you cannot possibly use that thing.

Why not?

I think it's great.

And besides, nobody at the rehab center has one.

Baby, you're gonna go back to physical therapy?

I'll make an appointment tomorrow.

And Dad, I know you're not the most emotional guy.

But I just wanted to tell you thank you.

Son, it's just some lights.

I'm not talking about the walker.

I'm talking about the fact that you're the best

father anybody could have.

Oh, Calvin.

I got to tell you something.

What?

I'm not your daddy.

What?

Let's just say, momma lived a little bit.

She was rolling like a spinner.

Whatever.

You know I love you guys.

Oh, we love you too.

[inaudible]

We love you, boy.

I sure don't want you to go.

I bet this one does.

Then, you'd lose that bet.

Really?

Most of the time.

I'm playing.

You know I'm gonna miss you.

I'll miss y'all too.

Are you sure you have to go?

You sure you don't want to stay?

No.

My mind made up.

Well, did we do something to make you want to leave?

Yes.

What?

Him.

Success.

It worked.

I'm joking, Ms. Ella.

I just saw how you guys were with Calvin.

And I-- and I figured that my mom

would want to do that type of stuff

with me, minus the gunshot.

[honk]

That's your mom.

OK.

Oh.

I love you.

Bye.

What the hell? What?

I don't get no hug?

Come here, you big guy.

Uh huh.

You can come back anytime.

You know that, right?

And march.

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