All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S08E19 - No More Payne WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,103 --> 00:00:05,482 [sigh] 2 00:00:06,689 --> 00:00:09,034 It has been two months. 3 00:00:09,137 --> 00:00:10,931 Our condo should be ready by now. 4 00:00:11,034 --> 00:00:12,896 Baby, the guys are working as fast as they can. 5 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,000 See? - You know what? 6 00:00:14,103 --> 00:00:15,586 I am so sick of this. 7 00:00:15,689 --> 00:00:18,413 Our floors aren't finished, and who knows 8 00:00:18,517 --> 00:00:20,275 what our bedroom looks like? 9 00:00:20,379 --> 00:00:21,793 Baby, Damon said these guys are the best. 10 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,413 What does Damon know? 11 00:00:23,517 --> 00:00:25,655 Damon is the same one who runs his law firm out 12 00:00:25,758 --> 00:00:27,068 of the back of a pickup truck. 13 00:00:27,172 --> 00:00:28,448 And what about Calvin Jr? 14 00:00:28,551 --> 00:00:30,413 Oh, I'm sure he doesn't know any subcontractors. 15 00:00:30,517 --> 00:00:32,793 Sweetheart, I am serious. 16 00:00:32,896 --> 00:00:35,034 We have to get these renovations done within a month 17 00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:36,482 if we want to get joint custody. 18 00:00:36,586 --> 00:00:38,689 And they will be, baby. 19 00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:40,793 You gotta look past all this. 20 00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:45,275 All I see are tarps everywhere. 21 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,655 Half-finished countertops. 22 00:00:46,758 --> 00:00:48,344 This is a disaster. 23 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,137 Well, baby, us standing here, watching them, 24 00:00:50,241 --> 00:00:51,896 isn't gonna make them work any faster. 25 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,379 Yeah, I bet a cattle prod will, though. 26 00:00:53,482 --> 00:00:54,344 Baby, let's go. 27 00:00:54,448 --> 00:00:55,482 Let's go. 28 00:00:55,586 --> 00:00:56,310 Fine. 29 00:00:56,413 --> 00:00:57,586 Let's let these guys work. 30 00:00:57,689 --> 00:00:58,551 Fine. 31 00:00:58,655 --> 00:00:59,827 Guys, you're doing a great job. 32 00:00:59,931 --> 00:01:00,689 Keep it up. 33 00:01:12,862 --> 00:01:14,241 OK, what in the-- 34 00:01:14,344 --> 00:01:15,241 Hey, what are you doing? 35 00:01:15,344 --> 00:01:16,137 Get up. 36 00:01:16,241 --> 00:01:17,482 OK, you know what? I knew it. 37 00:01:17,586 --> 00:01:18,275 I knew it. 38 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:19,103 Get out! 39 00:01:19,206 --> 00:01:19,965 Get out of here! 40 00:01:20,068 --> 00:01:21,896 Are you crazy? 41 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,241 What? 42 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:26,103 Beer? 43 00:01:26,206 --> 00:01:27,068 OK, you know what? 44 00:01:27,172 --> 00:01:28,965 You're fired! 45 00:01:29,068 --> 00:01:31,137 Oh, I don't believe this. 46 00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:32,275 OK, you know what? 47 00:01:32,379 --> 00:01:34,586 We cannot hire any more shady contractors. 48 00:01:34,689 --> 00:01:36,000 We just have to do this ourselves. 49 00:01:36,103 --> 00:01:37,379 OK, baby, I know you want to help, 50 00:01:37,482 --> 00:01:38,827 but maybe this isn't the best way. 51 00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:40,413 Wait, you don't think I can do this? 52 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:41,586 No, I'm not saying that. 53 00:01:41,689 --> 00:01:44,413 I just don't think we should take any chances. 54 00:01:44,517 --> 00:01:46,448 Damon said we got one shot at this. 55 00:01:46,551 --> 00:01:47,724 Yeah, and Damon's the same one who 56 00:01:47,827 --> 00:01:49,275 sent the world wide wrecking crew 57 00:01:49,379 --> 00:01:51,137 up in here to fix our house. 58 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,241 Sweetheart, it means just as much 59 00:01:53,344 --> 00:01:55,034 to me to get Calvin Jr back. 60 00:01:55,137 --> 00:01:57,689 OK, so maybe we should try to find another contractor. 61 00:01:57,793 --> 00:01:59,448 With what, Calvin? 62 00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:02,241 I don't know any contractors that work for free. 63 00:02:02,344 --> 00:02:03,965 Now, baby, listen, I've been saying 64 00:02:04,068 --> 00:02:05,689 that I want to flip houses. 65 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,689 What better place to start than right here? 66 00:02:08,793 --> 00:02:11,310 I can do this. 67 00:02:11,413 --> 00:02:13,689 OK, Miranda, but I think that I should 68 00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:14,896 get Pops to help us out too. 69 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,724 OK, that's fine. 70 00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:17,896 So you sure you ready to do this? 71 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,275 What? 72 00:02:19,379 --> 00:02:22,137 Was Harriet Tubman ready to lead the slaves to freedom? 73 00:02:22,241 --> 00:02:23,344 What? 74 00:02:23,448 --> 00:02:25,310 Was Joan of Arc ready to lead the revolution? 75 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:26,862 Michelle ready to lead the White House? 76 00:02:26,965 --> 00:02:28,206 She doesn't run the White House. 77 00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:29,137 Oh, that's what you think. 78 00:02:29,241 --> 00:02:31,586 [theme music] 79 00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:37,068 [knocking] 80 00:02:37,172 --> 00:02:38,379 What are you doing? 81 00:02:38,482 --> 00:02:40,448 I'm helping. 82 00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:41,965 Right there. 83 00:02:42,068 --> 00:02:44,413 [knocking] 84 00:02:47,517 --> 00:02:48,413 Hm. 85 00:02:48,517 --> 00:02:49,931 What? 86 00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,931 [knocking] 87 00:02:54,517 --> 00:02:56,896 [musical pounding] 88 00:02:59,482 --> 00:03:00,620 Are you done? 89 00:03:00,724 --> 00:03:02,000 Mm, mm, mm. 90 00:03:02,103 --> 00:03:03,689 Mr. Payne, what's wrong? 91 00:03:03,793 --> 00:03:05,931 Just like I thought. 92 00:03:06,034 --> 00:03:08,034 Your place is gonna have a lot of hot studs. 93 00:03:08,137 --> 00:03:09,344 Whoa, whoa, pause. 94 00:03:09,448 --> 00:03:11,758 You're too old to be talking like that. 95 00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:14,103 I'm talking about in the walls, Calvin, in the walls. 96 00:03:14,206 --> 00:03:15,586 The studs in the walls. 97 00:03:15,689 --> 00:03:17,034 OK, you know what? 98 00:03:17,137 --> 00:03:20,206 Mr. Payne, I will put you in charge of the fire inspection, 99 00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:22,034 and Calvin and I will do the bedroom. 100 00:03:22,137 --> 00:03:23,206 OK, all right, well, go right on, 101 00:03:23,310 --> 00:03:24,310 Little Miss Project Manager. 102 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,275 Thank you. 103 00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,758 Go right on with your bad self. 104 00:03:26,862 --> 00:03:28,448 Yes, please, go somewhere. 105 00:03:28,551 --> 00:03:30,137 Calvin, did you say something? 106 00:03:30,241 --> 00:03:31,517 He said, please, go somewhere. 107 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,620 Nothing. 108 00:03:32,724 --> 00:03:34,206 Pops, you wanna go check the bathroom? 109 00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,448 Mm, no, I don't have to. 110 00:03:35,551 --> 00:03:36,379 I can tell by the-- 111 00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,068 Pops, please, the bathroom. 112 00:03:38,172 --> 00:03:39,551 Oh, OK. 113 00:03:39,655 --> 00:03:40,758 I got it. 114 00:03:40,862 --> 00:03:42,620 You want me to go so you and Miranda can fight. 115 00:03:42,724 --> 00:03:45,724 Nobody's gonna fight. 116 00:03:45,827 --> 00:03:46,517 This is out of control! 117 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:47,413 You know what, Calvin? 118 00:03:47,517 --> 00:03:48,517 I am the project manager here. 119 00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:49,586 What? 120 00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:50,965 And you need to start listening to-- 121 00:03:51,068 --> 00:03:51,758 Excuse me. 122 00:03:51,862 --> 00:03:52,793 Yes, Mr. Payne. 123 00:03:52,896 --> 00:03:53,758 I need a flashlight. 124 00:03:53,862 --> 00:03:55,206 Hall closet. 125 00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:56,103 Over here. 126 00:03:56,206 --> 00:03:57,689 OK, thank you. 127 00:03:57,793 --> 00:04:00,172 Why is it every time I plan something-- 128 00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:01,448 All you have done the whole time that you have been here-- 129 00:04:01,551 --> 00:04:02,517 --you always got something to say about it. 130 00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:03,482 - --is put holes in the wall. - No, no. 131 00:04:03,586 --> 00:04:04,896 Every time I plan-- 132 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,000 Excuse me. 133 00:04:06,103 --> 00:04:07,310 A screwdriver. 134 00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:08,413 Hall closet too. 135 00:04:08,517 --> 00:04:09,862 I need a Phillips. 136 00:04:09,965 --> 00:04:10,965 Top shelf, right-hand side. 137 00:04:11,068 --> 00:04:12,517 OK, thanks. 138 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:16,103 Y'all go back to fighting. 139 00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:18,275 Calvin, what is the problem? 140 00:04:18,379 --> 00:04:19,551 I don't think this is gonna work. 141 00:04:19,655 --> 00:04:20,896 What do you mean this isn't gonna work? 142 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,758 We have already finished phase one, 143 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:25,137 and we are 33% done with phase two. 144 00:04:25,241 --> 00:04:27,793 And you're not phased because I'm doing all the hard labor. 145 00:04:27,896 --> 00:04:29,551 Um, excuse me? 146 00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:33,034 I did the whole bathroom by myself. 147 00:04:33,137 --> 00:04:34,793 [chuckle] 148 00:04:34,896 --> 00:04:38,965 Your bathroom is jacked up! 149 00:04:39,068 --> 00:04:40,413 What's wrong with the bathroom? 150 00:04:40,517 --> 00:04:43,655 Can you say "plunger"? 151 00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:44,482 Don't tell me. 152 00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:46,758 In the closet in the hall. 153 00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:49,689 Did you know your walls were painted puke green? 154 00:04:49,793 --> 00:04:51,965 Mr. Payne, it is avocado salamander. 155 00:04:52,068 --> 00:04:53,310 Well, it look like avocado bull-- 156 00:04:53,413 --> 00:04:54,137 Pop. [slap] 157 00:04:54,241 --> 00:04:55,827 [smack] 158 00:04:55,931 --> 00:04:59,482 Well if it's that bad, then I can put it on your checklist 159 00:04:59,586 --> 00:05:01,034 to repaint it. 160 00:05:01,137 --> 00:05:04,758 Well, you can also put "rip down the bathroom walls" 161 00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:08,413 on your little checklist, because the avocado bullcrap 162 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:09,862 walls are not your problem. 163 00:05:09,965 --> 00:05:11,965 Well, what is? 164 00:05:12,068 --> 00:05:15,482 Son, one thing, you only got a month to get all this done. 165 00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:18,586 And the walls in there don't have fire stops either. 166 00:05:18,689 --> 00:05:20,620 None of your walls got fire stops. 167 00:05:20,724 --> 00:05:22,724 You are living in a fire trap. 168 00:05:22,827 --> 00:05:24,103 [sigh] 169 00:05:28,448 --> 00:05:30,758 Oh, this is my grandfather. 170 00:05:30,862 --> 00:05:32,586 Edmund John Wesley. 171 00:05:32,689 --> 00:05:37,103 Now he was born in Albany, and his birthday was on April 1. 172 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,206 Wasn't it April 1, baby? 173 00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:39,793 That's right, baby. 174 00:05:39,896 --> 00:05:41,793 He was the original April Fools. 175 00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,137 Curtis, please, baby. 176 00:05:44,241 --> 00:05:46,482 And he was baptized three days later. 177 00:05:46,586 --> 00:05:48,103 Yeah, but it didn't work. 178 00:05:48,206 --> 00:05:48,931 April Fools. 179 00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:50,344 [chuckle] 180 00:05:50,448 --> 00:05:51,310 They should've double-dipped. 181 00:05:51,413 --> 00:05:53,413 Curtis, would you please? 182 00:05:53,517 --> 00:05:54,551 Wow. 183 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:55,862 He looks like a body builder in this one. 184 00:05:55,965 --> 00:05:58,137 Yes. Now that was my favorite uncle. 185 00:05:58,241 --> 00:05:59,379 Oh, this is my favorite uncle. 186 00:05:59,482 --> 00:06:02,103 He worked all day, every day. 187 00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:03,517 He owned his own business. 188 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:05,758 And look at him, look at how strong he is, and his legs 189 00:06:05,862 --> 00:06:07,241 were always like that. Look at how strong his-- 190 00:06:07,344 --> 00:06:08,379 What the hell is this? 191 00:06:08,482 --> 00:06:11,000 Ain't your family work every day, all day. 192 00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:11,862 Would you stop? 193 00:06:11,965 --> 00:06:13,517 You got the picture upside down. 194 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,862 That's your Aunt June. 195 00:06:15,965 --> 00:06:17,206 What you talking about, your uncle? 196 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,206 Please. 197 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:19,310 She did have pretty legs, though, 198 00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:20,551 that's 'cause she was a street walker, 199 00:06:20,655 --> 00:06:21,448 Curtis. 200 00:06:21,551 --> 00:06:22,448 Did a lot of walking at night. 201 00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:23,551 Curtis. 202 00:06:23,655 --> 00:06:24,413 Aunt June. 203 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,034 I used to love her, though. 204 00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:27,827 We used to call the original ho. 205 00:06:27,931 --> 00:06:28,689 Curtis! 206 00:06:28,793 --> 00:06:30,448 Would you get outta here? 207 00:06:30,551 --> 00:06:32,655 Just leave us alone. 208 00:06:32,758 --> 00:06:36,172 Wow, you guys are really lucky you know your relatives. 209 00:06:36,275 --> 00:06:38,344 I don't know anything about my family history. 210 00:06:38,448 --> 00:06:39,379 [smack] 211 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,655 I just killed one of your relatives. 212 00:06:41,758 --> 00:06:44,655 What's wrong with them? 213 00:06:44,758 --> 00:06:45,827 [groan] 214 00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:48,034 So how well do you know your dad, DeShawn? 215 00:06:48,137 --> 00:06:50,862 Well, my mom said he used to take me to pick up cars. 216 00:06:50,965 --> 00:06:51,655 What? 217 00:06:51,758 --> 00:06:52,896 You can't drive. 218 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:53,965 No, no, no. 219 00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:55,482 When he stole them. 220 00:06:55,586 --> 00:06:57,793 He would put me in the car seat so it wouldn't look suspicious. 221 00:06:57,896 --> 00:06:59,310 Oh, that's so sweet. 222 00:06:59,413 --> 00:07:01,724 I never had a positive male role model in my life. 223 00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:02,586 Wow. 224 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:03,862 And you don't have one now. 225 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:04,620 [thud] 226 00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:05,413 Curtis! 227 00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:06,620 [laugh] 228 00:07:08,724 --> 00:07:11,103 DeShawn, baby, do you miss your dad? 229 00:07:11,206 --> 00:07:12,413 Yeah. 230 00:07:12,517 --> 00:07:14,172 It's kind of hard when everyone around you has a dad, 231 00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:15,137 and you don't. 232 00:07:15,241 --> 00:07:17,206 When was the last time you saw him? 233 00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:19,655 Well, it was a beautiful day. 234 00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:21,000 Birds were chirping. 235 00:07:21,103 --> 00:07:24,586 He was in the back of the car, waving goodbye. 236 00:07:24,689 --> 00:07:25,551 Where was he going? 237 00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:26,724 Off to war? 238 00:07:26,827 --> 00:07:27,551 No. 239 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:28,413 Prison. 240 00:07:28,517 --> 00:07:30,413 Say he robbed some old lady. 241 00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,000 Grandma ain't never been the same. 242 00:07:35,344 --> 00:07:36,034 Curtis. 243 00:07:36,137 --> 00:07:37,103 Oh, that's too much. 244 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,000 Was he serious? 245 00:07:38,103 --> 00:07:39,379 His daddy robbed his grandmother? 246 00:07:39,482 --> 00:07:40,206 Probably so. 247 00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:41,517 You see how he is. 248 00:07:44,137 --> 00:07:48,620 Curtis, are you thinking what I'm thinking, baby? 249 00:07:48,724 --> 00:07:49,655 What you thinking? 250 00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:51,034 Well, babe, I think I should make 251 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,310 some calls to find out some information about his daddy. 252 00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:54,758 I don't know if you should do that, baby. 253 00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:56,517 That could open a whole, huge can of worms. 254 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,344 Curtis, he's alive, and he's incarcerated. 255 00:07:58,448 --> 00:07:59,413 And I think-- 256 00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:00,689 I think it would be good for DeShawn 257 00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:02,517 to just spend some time with his dad. 258 00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:05,034 The boy just said his father robbed his own mother. 259 00:08:05,137 --> 00:08:06,206 You didn't hear him right here? 260 00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:07,448 It can't hurt, baby. 261 00:08:07,551 --> 00:08:09,689 It can't hurt to just find him. 262 00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:10,896 All right, I'm with you. 263 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:11,724 Yes. 264 00:08:11,827 --> 00:08:13,206 Here we go. 265 00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:14,724 Let's do it. 266 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:15,758 Let's do it? What? 267 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:16,655 What are you doing? 268 00:08:16,758 --> 00:08:18,448 I'm gonna find DeShawn's daddy. 269 00:08:18,551 --> 00:08:19,551 What are you talking about? 270 00:08:19,655 --> 00:08:22,724 "Cops" comes on in five minutes. 271 00:08:22,827 --> 00:08:24,655 You are so ugly. 272 00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:27,724 You are so wrong. 273 00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:31,379 OK, I think this high pressure shower head in chrome, 274 00:08:31,482 --> 00:08:33,724 we are gonna use for the master bathroom, OK? 275 00:08:33,827 --> 00:08:35,965 I say we go with brushed nickel. 276 00:08:36,068 --> 00:08:37,275 Maybe. 277 00:08:37,379 --> 00:08:39,827 Can we get one of those hand-held massagers? 278 00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:40,931 For what? 279 00:08:41,034 --> 00:08:42,551 So I can take it off and massage my back. 280 00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,103 Why don't you just turn around in the shower? 281 00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:46,000 We're supposed to be collaborating here. 282 00:08:46,103 --> 00:08:49,034 Yes, but I'm in charge. 283 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,689 But if we're collaborating, I should be able to-- 284 00:08:50,793 --> 00:08:51,965 No, no, no. 285 00:08:52,068 --> 00:08:52,862 I'm so tired of you trying to tell me what to do. 286 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:53,827 No, I'm tired of you-- 287 00:08:53,931 --> 00:08:56,586 And we have already deci-- what? 288 00:08:56,689 --> 00:08:57,448 Babe, listen, no. Listen. 289 00:08:57,551 --> 00:08:58,275 Shut up. 290 00:08:58,379 --> 00:08:59,103 No, no, no. 291 00:08:59,206 --> 00:08:59,896 Shut up. 292 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:00,758 No. 293 00:09:00,862 --> 00:09:01,655 Shut up. 294 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:02,758 I'm the boss. 295 00:09:02,862 --> 00:09:03,758 Shut up. 296 00:09:03,862 --> 00:09:07,206 You said that I could be the boss. 297 00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:08,000 Wow. 298 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,000 Well, so I-- 299 00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:17,827 I see the renovation has brought you two closer together. 300 00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:22,172 Yeah, um, not quite sure how we're gonna finish in a month. 301 00:09:22,275 --> 00:09:24,862 Well, I got a call from Tracy's mom, 302 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,206 and she said that the custody court date 303 00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:29,413 has been moved up to next week. 304 00:09:29,517 --> 00:09:30,862 Are you serious? 305 00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:31,965 No, she can't do that. 306 00:09:32,068 --> 00:09:33,586 She can, and she did. 307 00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:35,000 We're supposed to have a month here. 308 00:09:35,103 --> 00:09:35,793 I know, baby. 309 00:09:35,896 --> 00:09:36,931 Don't shoot the messenger. 310 00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:38,448 Well, I'm not, but I don't know what to do. 311 00:09:38,551 --> 00:09:39,241 The place is a mess. 312 00:09:39,344 --> 00:09:40,103 I can't see my son. 313 00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:41,137 Everything is just terrible. 314 00:09:41,241 --> 00:09:42,000 OK, you know what? 315 00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,448 You know what? 316 00:09:43,551 --> 00:09:44,689 Baby, it's OK. 317 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,586 We have been dragging our feet on this renovation. 318 00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:48,724 I'm gonna buckle down and get it done. 319 00:09:48,827 --> 00:09:49,862 What do you mean? 320 00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,827 I mean that if our court date is in a week, 321 00:09:51,931 --> 00:09:54,172 then this condo will be ready in a week. 322 00:09:54,275 --> 00:09:55,310 How? 323 00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:56,758 Oh, so you don't know that you are dealing 324 00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:59,344 with a force of nature that can bend time and make 325 00:09:59,448 --> 00:10:00,206 things happen right here? 326 00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:01,793 Ha, sing it, Miranda. 327 00:10:01,896 --> 00:10:05,689 Sweetheart, I can change a tire and birth a baby, all 328 00:10:05,793 --> 00:10:06,620 with stilettos on. 329 00:10:06,724 --> 00:10:08,000 Uh-oh. 330 00:10:08,103 --> 00:10:10,310 Mom, I think the paint fumes are getting to her head. 331 00:10:10,413 --> 00:10:12,620 The paint fumes are not getting to my head. 332 00:10:12,724 --> 00:10:14,931 This condo will be ready in a week. 333 00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:15,931 Mm. 334 00:10:16,034 --> 00:10:17,724 And I'm gonna flip a house next. 335 00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:18,965 Flip it. 336 00:10:19,068 --> 00:10:20,965 And then I'm gonna celebrate by baking a cake. 337 00:10:21,068 --> 00:10:21,758 Stop right there. 338 00:10:21,862 --> 00:10:23,034 Ms. Ella. 339 00:10:23,137 --> 00:10:25,206 Baby, I've tasted your cakes. 340 00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:26,034 I've tasted them too. 341 00:10:26,137 --> 00:10:28,172 Hey, who's side are you on? 342 00:10:28,275 --> 00:10:29,620 But I like your cookies. 343 00:10:29,724 --> 00:10:30,620 Great. 344 00:10:30,724 --> 00:10:35,137 OK, that's my cue to leave. 345 00:10:35,241 --> 00:10:35,931 [popping] 346 00:10:36,034 --> 00:10:36,931 Curtis, hey. 347 00:10:37,034 --> 00:10:38,241 DeShawn, what are you doing? 348 00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:39,103 Curtis, what's wrong? 349 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,103 What are you doing? 350 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,172 Nothing. 351 00:10:41,275 --> 00:10:43,344 Both of you are just acting so silly. 352 00:10:43,448 --> 00:10:45,827 Would you please get off this bubble wrap? 353 00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:49,137 Curtis, do you know how much bubble wrap costs? 354 00:10:49,241 --> 00:10:50,034 No. 355 00:10:50,137 --> 00:10:51,275 How much does bubble wrap cost? 356 00:10:51,379 --> 00:10:53,586 $70 a roll. 357 00:10:53,689 --> 00:10:55,172 It don't cost no $70 a roll. 358 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:56,000 OK. 359 00:10:56,103 --> 00:10:56,862 Get off the bubble wrap! 360 00:10:56,965 --> 00:10:58,448 Thank you. 361 00:10:58,551 --> 00:10:59,344 DeShawn. 362 00:10:59,448 --> 00:11:00,724 Yes? 363 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,551 I have some information for you. 364 00:11:02,655 --> 00:11:04,068 She lying, Ms. Ella, she lying. 365 00:11:04,172 --> 00:11:05,137 Taqualisha is a liar. 366 00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:06,689 I am not that baby's father. 367 00:11:06,793 --> 00:11:09,172 Nope. 368 00:11:09,275 --> 00:11:10,620 DeShawn. 369 00:11:10,724 --> 00:11:13,413 The folks at the Department of Family and Children Services-- 370 00:11:13,517 --> 00:11:15,206 [pop] 371 00:11:15,310 --> 00:11:16,931 My friends over at Department of Family 372 00:11:17,034 --> 00:11:18,517 and Children's Services-- [popping] 373 00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:19,551 Curtis. Give me that bubble wrap. 374 00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:20,758 Give me that. 375 00:11:20,862 --> 00:11:21,551 I was satisfied. 376 00:11:21,655 --> 00:11:24,137 Give me that. 377 00:11:24,241 --> 00:11:25,068 [popping] 378 00:11:25,172 --> 00:11:26,000 You poppin' it. 379 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,206 Don't worry about what I do. 380 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:28,689 Why you poppin' it, baby? 381 00:11:28,793 --> 00:11:30,896 DeShawn, so they gave me these things, 382 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,620 and they thought you'd like this. 383 00:11:32,724 --> 00:11:33,586 Wow. What is it? 384 00:11:33,689 --> 00:11:34,379 Pictures. 385 00:11:34,482 --> 00:11:35,758 Open it up. 386 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:36,896 It's right here. 387 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,344 It ain't even taped. 388 00:11:42,862 --> 00:11:43,724 Whoa. 389 00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:44,793 He looks just like me. 390 00:11:44,896 --> 00:11:47,206 CURTIS: Yeah, he sure do. 391 00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:50,551 And look, y'all the same height too. 392 00:11:50,655 --> 00:11:52,724 Oh, he's so handsome. 393 00:11:52,827 --> 00:11:54,482 And I think you can learn a lot from your father 394 00:11:54,586 --> 00:11:57,206 about your family. 395 00:11:57,310 --> 00:11:58,206 Oh, wow. 396 00:11:58,310 --> 00:11:59,827 ELLA: What? 397 00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:01,482 Wow. 398 00:12:01,586 --> 00:12:02,275 He's braiding hair. 399 00:12:02,379 --> 00:12:04,000 Curtis. 400 00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:06,448 You wanna go see him? 401 00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:09,655 'Cause I bring you down there myself, Saturday. 402 00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:13,379 And I've been wanting to get my hair cornrowed, so-- 403 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:16,379 well, you take some time to think about it. 404 00:12:16,482 --> 00:12:17,241 OK. 405 00:12:17,344 --> 00:12:18,034 I thought about it. 406 00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:19,103 Let's go. 407 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:20,482 OK. 408 00:12:20,586 --> 00:12:21,758 Taking you to see the braider. 409 00:12:25,689 --> 00:12:28,000 You know, don't think about it as free plumbing. 410 00:12:28,103 --> 00:12:31,310 Think about it as a billboard for your business. 411 00:12:31,413 --> 00:12:33,137 Every time one of my high end clients 412 00:12:33,241 --> 00:12:35,103 walks across these hardwood floors, 413 00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:38,034 it is an advertisement for your business. 414 00:12:38,137 --> 00:12:40,758 Once I begin raving about how wonderful, 415 00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:43,724 and professional, and inexpensive your work is, 416 00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:46,275 they will be breaking their necks to give you contracts. 417 00:12:46,379 --> 00:12:49,241 [music playing] 418 00:12:52,344 --> 00:12:53,724 [sigh] 419 00:12:58,172 --> 00:13:00,000 Hey, how did it go? 420 00:13:00,103 --> 00:13:01,413 How did it go? 421 00:13:01,517 --> 00:13:02,620 Baby, what happened? 422 00:13:02,724 --> 00:13:03,758 The man wouldn't even come up to the visiting 423 00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:05,275 room to see his own kid. 424 00:13:05,379 --> 00:13:07,517 What do you mean he wouldn't come up to the visiting room? 425 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,931 Just what I said, baby. 426 00:13:09,034 --> 00:13:11,551 What kind of man does that to his own child? 427 00:13:11,655 --> 00:13:13,862 How did he handle it? 428 00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,931 I mean, he act like he didn't care, but you know he's hurt. 429 00:13:18,827 --> 00:13:20,000 Hey, baby. 430 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,689 I made your favorite sandwich. 431 00:13:21,793 --> 00:13:22,965 Thanks. 432 00:13:23,068 --> 00:13:24,137 You aight, D? 433 00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:25,275 I'm cool. 434 00:13:25,379 --> 00:13:26,586 Is that the truth? 435 00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:27,551 It don't even matter to me. 436 00:13:27,655 --> 00:13:28,448 I don't care. 437 00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:30,310 You do care, and it's OK. 438 00:13:30,413 --> 00:13:32,551 You just can't let it break you. 439 00:13:32,655 --> 00:13:34,586 Would y'all have done that to y'all's son? 440 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,517 Yeah. 441 00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:37,862 No. 442 00:13:37,965 --> 00:13:40,068 Sometimes, it's not as easy as that. 443 00:13:40,172 --> 00:13:41,137 It is that easy. 444 00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:41,931 They call your number. 445 00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:43,241 You get out your cell. 446 00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:44,793 You walk through the prison, sit down, stick your face 447 00:13:44,896 --> 00:13:46,310 in the glass, and see your son. 448 00:13:46,413 --> 00:13:47,379 That's it. 449 00:13:47,482 --> 00:13:48,586 And that might have been the hardest 450 00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:50,344 thing in the world for him. 451 00:13:50,448 --> 00:13:51,724 What? 452 00:13:51,827 --> 00:13:53,896 Seeing his little boy on the other side of that glass, 453 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,620 and then having to walk back through the prison 454 00:13:55,724 --> 00:13:58,000 and back into his cell. 455 00:13:58,103 --> 00:14:00,068 DeShawn, sometimes, the hardest thing 456 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:03,172 for grown folk to do is the simplest thing for grown men 457 00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:04,103 to do simply. 458 00:14:06,862 --> 00:14:08,034 What? 459 00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:09,827 [laugh] 460 00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:12,758 So what am I supposed to do now? 461 00:14:12,862 --> 00:14:14,724 Exactly what you're doing now-- 462 00:14:14,827 --> 00:14:16,000 stay here and live with this family. 463 00:14:16,103 --> 00:14:18,724 Uh-- [clears throat] Will you slow down? 464 00:14:18,827 --> 00:14:20,172 Whatever, man. 465 00:14:20,275 --> 00:14:23,103 No, D, there's a lot of kids with dads in prison. 466 00:14:23,206 --> 00:14:26,034 Yeah, I know, and it sucks that I'm one of them. 467 00:14:26,137 --> 00:14:28,620 Everything happens for a reason. 468 00:14:28,724 --> 00:14:30,448 At least now, you're living here. 469 00:14:30,551 --> 00:14:31,586 Give my parents a shot. 470 00:14:31,689 --> 00:14:33,172 They're not that bad. 471 00:14:33,275 --> 00:14:36,000 OK, could you stop, please? 472 00:14:36,103 --> 00:14:36,827 Man, Ms. Ella's great. 473 00:14:36,931 --> 00:14:37,620 Thank you, baby. 474 00:14:40,482 --> 00:14:42,482 I'm not here? 475 00:14:42,586 --> 00:14:44,275 Mr. C is aight. 476 00:14:44,379 --> 00:14:46,448 But I also need my mom and dad. 477 00:14:46,551 --> 00:14:47,793 Look, D, I know it's hard. 478 00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:53,586 But sometimes, you gotta accept the cards you was dealt. 479 00:14:53,689 --> 00:14:55,413 Look, everything that I got when I was your age, 480 00:14:55,517 --> 00:14:56,758 you're gonna get. 481 00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,793 And everything that my parents are doing for you now, 482 00:14:58,896 --> 00:15:00,827 they did for me. 483 00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:02,551 Everything? 484 00:15:02,655 --> 00:15:03,862 It wasn't that much. 485 00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,275 You think they'll give me a car? 486 00:15:05,379 --> 00:15:06,241 Hell no. 487 00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:07,517 OK, see, now you're pushing it. 488 00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,275 But I tell you what, whenever you need to roll, 489 00:15:09,379 --> 00:15:11,413 I'll come by and pick you up, and you can hang. 490 00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:13,620 Consider yourself one of the boys now. 491 00:15:13,724 --> 00:15:17,275 So can you take me to parties without Ms. Ella knowing? 492 00:15:17,379 --> 00:15:20,620 I got your back, but I'm not crazy. 493 00:15:20,724 --> 00:15:21,448 What's that? 494 00:15:21,551 --> 00:15:22,517 Where you wanna go? 495 00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:23,413 The strip joint? 496 00:15:23,517 --> 00:15:24,965 Oh, I'll take you. 497 00:15:25,068 --> 00:15:25,758 OK. 498 00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:26,758 [high five] 499 00:15:33,551 --> 00:15:34,482 Come on, come on. 500 00:15:34,586 --> 00:15:35,551 All right, I'm coming, I'm coming. 501 00:15:35,655 --> 00:15:36,551 OK, wait, I'm gonna switch. 502 00:15:36,655 --> 00:15:37,379 I gotta close the door. 503 00:15:37,482 --> 00:15:38,275 I gotta close the door. 504 00:15:38,379 --> 00:15:39,413 It smells like armpits in here. 505 00:15:39,517 --> 00:15:40,793 Hey, listen, don't you start with me. 506 00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:43,275 I did not have time to shower, OK? 507 00:15:43,379 --> 00:15:44,172 You ready? 508 00:15:44,275 --> 00:15:46,448 Here we go. 509 00:15:46,551 --> 00:15:47,758 Wow. 510 00:15:47,862 --> 00:15:49,000 Wow, wow, wow. 511 00:15:49,103 --> 00:15:50,827 Baby, you really did it. 512 00:15:50,931 --> 00:15:52,137 What? 513 00:15:52,241 --> 00:15:56,172 I mean, I knew you can do it, but this is incredible. 514 00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:57,068 Oh, wow. 515 00:15:57,172 --> 00:15:59,965 A Funtachi 4000 in 4D? 516 00:16:00,068 --> 00:16:02,448 Baby. 517 00:16:02,551 --> 00:16:05,517 Baby, you can trace your roots with this remote control. 518 00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:06,517 Mm-hmm. 519 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:07,793 Where did you get this? 520 00:16:07,896 --> 00:16:10,724 The same place I got the matching one in our bedroom. 521 00:16:10,827 --> 00:16:12,689 You-- 522 00:16:12,793 --> 00:16:16,551 Oh, and it's voice-activated with surround sound. 523 00:16:16,655 --> 00:16:19,034 Baby, you got me a sneaker rack installed for my sneakers? 524 00:16:19,137 --> 00:16:20,965 I got exactly the one you wanted. 525 00:16:21,068 --> 00:16:23,103 And the condo is equipped with cameras 526 00:16:23,206 --> 00:16:24,689 that we can view from the web. 527 00:16:24,793 --> 00:16:26,000 Oh, I know what that's for. 528 00:16:26,103 --> 00:16:26,931 What? 529 00:16:27,034 --> 00:16:28,724 For me to tie-- ie-- ie that up. 530 00:16:28,827 --> 00:16:30,034 No. 531 00:16:30,137 --> 00:16:32,344 It's for Christian and Calvin Jr, 532 00:16:32,448 --> 00:16:34,482 so we can make sure they're safe at all times. 533 00:16:34,586 --> 00:16:35,551 Oh. 534 00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:37,655 Oh, baby, how did you pay for this? 535 00:16:37,758 --> 00:16:38,655 Did you pay for this? 536 00:16:38,758 --> 00:16:40,137 No, I didn't. 537 00:16:40,241 --> 00:16:41,482 OK, quick, file out the serial numbers. 538 00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,448 Baby, no, no, no. 539 00:16:43,551 --> 00:16:45,862 Listen, listen. 540 00:16:45,965 --> 00:16:48,103 I negotiated, and I bartered. 541 00:16:48,206 --> 00:16:51,275 You should have seen your baby hustling. 542 00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:53,482 And it's all legitimate. 543 00:16:53,586 --> 00:16:55,206 Baby, I am proud of you. 544 00:16:55,310 --> 00:16:57,448 Thank you. 545 00:16:57,551 --> 00:17:00,517 Now all we need is Calvin Jr. 546 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,896 What if something goes wrong, and that doesn't happen? 547 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,551 You heard what your dad said about faith. 548 00:17:05,655 --> 00:17:06,965 He liked her last CD. 549 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:07,931 No. 550 00:17:08,034 --> 00:17:09,241 Baby, we have to have it. 551 00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:14,103 Hoo-dee-hoo, you two little nasty ones. 552 00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:15,862 Ooh. 553 00:17:15,965 --> 00:17:17,586 Miranda. 554 00:17:17,689 --> 00:17:19,275 Ms. Ella. 555 00:17:19,379 --> 00:17:20,275 [smooch] 556 00:17:20,379 --> 00:17:22,241 This is amazing. 557 00:17:22,344 --> 00:17:24,586 Look at this. 558 00:17:24,689 --> 00:17:25,517 Is this stuff hot? 559 00:17:25,620 --> 00:17:28,034 No, it's all legit. 560 00:17:28,137 --> 00:17:30,068 Miranda, you did it. 561 00:17:30,172 --> 00:17:31,068 This is wonderful. 562 00:17:31,172 --> 00:17:32,000 You did it. 563 00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:33,241 Thank you. 564 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,931 It looks like there was never any damage in here. 565 00:17:36,034 --> 00:17:37,137 What do you think, Calvin? 566 00:17:37,241 --> 00:17:39,103 I think I want to know where Calvin Jr is. 567 00:17:39,206 --> 00:17:40,068 What's going on? 568 00:17:40,172 --> 00:17:41,310 Oh. 569 00:17:41,413 --> 00:17:42,689 Um. 570 00:17:42,793 --> 00:17:44,310 I didn't bring Calvin Jr, baby. 571 00:17:44,413 --> 00:17:46,965 Well, what happened this time? 572 00:17:47,068 --> 00:17:50,413 Well, Calvin, he wanted to ride on Papa's back. 573 00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:51,206 Papa! 574 00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:53,241 Papa. 575 00:17:53,344 --> 00:17:54,379 Look at that. Look at that. 576 00:17:54,482 --> 00:17:55,206 Oh! 577 00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:56,034 [laughing] 578 00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:57,206 CURTIS: Giddy up, giddy up. 579 00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:58,000 It's the big guy. 580 00:17:58,103 --> 00:17:59,551 He's so tall. 581 00:17:59,655 --> 00:18:00,379 It's the big guy. 582 00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:01,241 What's up, man? 583 00:18:01,344 --> 00:18:02,689 Hi, Daddy. 584 00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:03,482 Hi, Daddy. 585 00:18:03,586 --> 00:18:04,827 He's so big. 586 00:18:04,931 --> 00:18:05,896 Is this stuff hot? 587 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,655 Curtis. 588 00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:10,034 Calvin, that Damon did his thing today. 589 00:18:10,137 --> 00:18:11,000 I mean, he really did. 590 00:18:11,103 --> 00:18:12,275 He did all the paperwork. 591 00:18:12,379 --> 00:18:14,689 He had all of the paperwork done and everything. 592 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,034 [kiss] 593 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,551 The social worker was excited that you 594 00:18:17,655 --> 00:18:19,758 guys were getting custody. 595 00:18:19,862 --> 00:18:22,896 So, what do you want to do first? 596 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,310 Well, first, you need to change him, 597 00:18:24,413 --> 00:18:25,517 because he peed all over my back. 598 00:18:28,793 --> 00:18:31,793 I don't think that's pee. 599 00:18:31,896 --> 00:18:32,896 [groan] 600 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,310 Curtis. 601 00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:35,275 No, no, no! 602 00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:36,344 Mr. Payne! 603 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:37,344 - Curtis, not with that pillow! - No! 604 00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:39,068 No! No! 605 00:18:39,172 --> 00:18:40,862 It's yellow. 606 00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:41,689 Tell them it's ketchup. 607 00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:46,344 You ready? 608 00:18:46,448 --> 00:18:47,241 You ready to play a game? 609 00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:48,068 Yes. 610 00:18:48,172 --> 00:18:49,482 OK, give me five. 611 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:50,931 Up high. 612 00:18:51,034 --> 00:18:52,068 Down low. 613 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,379 Too slow. 614 00:18:54,482 --> 00:18:55,517 It's all right. 615 00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:56,931 Daddy's gonna always be here for you, OK? 616 00:18:57,034 --> 00:18:57,793 OK. 617 00:18:57,896 --> 00:18:58,793 And you know I love you. 618 00:18:58,896 --> 00:19:00,620 Where are we going? 619 00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:01,862 - Where are we going? - Yeah. 620 00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:02,896 Where you wanna go? 621 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:03,862 I'll take you wherever you wanna go. 622 00:19:06,586 --> 00:19:07,310 I love you. 623 00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:08,068 I love you. 624 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:13,068 [theme music] 40705

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