All language subtitles for Night.court.2023.S03E10.AMZN.FLUX.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:04,711 These two are charged with destruction of property 2 00:00:04,712 --> 00:00:05,937 at a public pool. 3 00:00:05,938 --> 00:00:08,800 Your Honor, these newlyweds were so overcome with joy, 4 00:00:08,801 --> 00:00:11,765 they wanted to take the plunge, literally. 5 00:00:11,766 --> 00:00:14,347 And there's such a sweet air of mystery still about them. 6 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:18,310 She had no idea he couldn't swim. 7 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,895 Not only did they damage the pool filter 8 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,897 by jumping in with their cake, 9 00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:25,233 but they also completely disrupted 10 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,654 a synchronized swim practice. 11 00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:32,955 $200 fine. 12 00:00:32,956 --> 00:00:35,542 And if you're that good on land, you don't need practice. 13 00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:40,999 Gurgs, gonna get these people? 14 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,251 I found them guilty, and I'm getting uncomfortable. 15 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,086 I'm here. What'd I miss? 16 00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:48,549 Oh, did y'all show up wet, or did this just happen? 17 00:00:50,442 --> 00:00:52,328 I'm so sorry. 18 00:00:52,329 --> 00:00:54,596 I'm just trying to fit in some chief bailiff work. 19 00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:55,889 Some promotion you got. 20 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,474 You're still a full time bailiff, 21 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,309 but with 10 times the paperwork. 22 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,769 You should get an assistant. 23 00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,353 They handle all the paperwork, 24 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,293 and they agree with you even when they're not listening. 25 00:01:04,294 --> 00:01:06,108 - Right, Wyatt? - Nailed it again, Judge. 26 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,195 I do have an assistant, but I don't want to bother her. 27 00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:11,905 Flobert's supposed to be helping me, 28 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,990 but so far, all he's done was eat my lunch. 29 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,825 You asked me to take things off your plate. 30 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,660 And you know those doctors diagnosed me 31 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,497 as clinically literal. 32 00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:22,373 Dan, is that your will? 33 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,959 You know, you don't have to write people out of it by name. 34 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,338 Yeah. No, these are my memoirs. 35 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,840 I've always wanted to collect my best dinner party stories 36 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,093 and charge money for them. 37 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,971 "August 1984. 38 00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:40,226 Mistaken for Richard Gere yet again." 39 00:01:40,994 --> 00:01:43,604 By a defendant who was blind. 40 00:01:44,873 --> 00:01:46,165 And stupid. 41 00:01:46,166 --> 00:01:48,357 My God, Roz, what a surprise! 42 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,985 Just looking for somebody who could say great things about me. 43 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:53,613 Well, keep looking, Fielding. 44 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,408 Runaway groom! Somebody get him! 45 00:01:59,204 --> 00:02:01,830 Is that guy okay, or should we call an ambulance? 46 00:02:01,831 --> 00:02:03,146 Nailed it again, Judge. 47 00:02:03,147 --> 00:02:05,918 Dude, you got to listen sometimes. 48 00:02:06,544 --> 00:02:11,881 Sync and corrections by btsix www.MY-SUBS.com 49 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,592 You know, Roz, seeing you level that groom took me back 50 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:15,660 to a simpler time. 51 00:02:15,661 --> 00:02:18,471 Do you remember when the only candy store in Times Square 52 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,989 was that guy named Electric Larry, with his pants full of pills? 53 00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:26,062 So what brings you back here, Roz? Did you miss me, or... 54 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,938 Actually, I can't think of any other options. 55 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,383 I missed you, too. 56 00:02:30,342 --> 00:02:32,109 I'm here to yell at people. 57 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,862 Oh, hey. I got a list. 58 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,198 Starting with Sandy from the death certificate office, 59 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,699 stealing my look. 60 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,288 Hey. Yeah, Sandy! I'm looking at you. 61 00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:48,117 City claims I'm three days short of qualifying 62 00:02:48,118 --> 00:02:49,827 for my pension. 63 00:02:49,828 --> 00:02:53,256 Apparently, hiding in a bunker is not an approved absence. 64 00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:56,535 Stupid Y2K. 65 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,046 Don't get me started on Y2K. 66 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:02,298 That night, I drank tang like there was no tomorrow, 67 00:03:02,299 --> 00:03:05,252 grabbed my cousin and had my first kiss on the lips. 68 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,589 You know, in some ways, I wish the world had ended. 69 00:03:09,681 --> 00:03:11,683 What am I going to do about this? 70 00:03:11,684 --> 00:03:13,066 Have you considered blackmail? 71 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,645 All we need is some doctored pictures of those pension nerds 72 00:03:15,646 --> 00:03:17,689 high fiving Bernie Madoff. 73 00:03:19,323 --> 00:03:21,484 You did use those Photoshop classes I got 74 00:03:21,485 --> 00:03:23,694 you for Christmas. 75 00:03:23,695 --> 00:03:25,291 We don't need to blackmail anyone. 76 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:26,370 I got a better idea. 77 00:03:26,371 --> 00:03:27,572 Come on out. 78 00:03:27,573 --> 00:03:30,786 And if you feel the urge to twirl, twirl, girl. 79 00:03:34,224 --> 00:03:36,559 I don't twirl. 80 00:03:37,855 --> 00:03:39,527 Keep it together, Gurgs. 81 00:03:40,628 --> 00:03:42,370 You're her boss now. 82 00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:45,784 Oh, she can hear this. 83 00:03:47,539 --> 00:03:49,332 This is the perfect solution. 84 00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,806 You help us out for a few days, and you get your pension. 85 00:03:51,807 --> 00:03:53,349 Another great thing about you being back 86 00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:54,993 is we can send you off in style. 87 00:03:54,994 --> 00:03:57,687 What better way to cap off your career than throwing you a... 88 00:03:57,688 --> 00:03:59,906 Briefcase full of cash. 89 00:04:00,691 --> 00:04:03,859 Close. A cafeteria full of fun. 90 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:06,112 How about we throw you a retirement party? 91 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,397 Whatever. 92 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,980 Okay. Indifference. Not rejection. 93 00:04:11,981 --> 00:04:13,645 Are we becoming friends? 94 00:04:14,579 --> 00:04:16,539 Can I call you Aunt Roz? 95 00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:18,207 Because my actual aunt stopped talking to me 96 00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:20,877 after I kissed her son and ruined her New Year's party. 97 00:04:23,213 --> 00:04:24,714 The more you talk about it, 98 00:04:24,715 --> 00:04:27,092 the more I think that wasn't a one time thing. 99 00:04:28,881 --> 00:04:30,506 Ms. Russell. 100 00:04:30,507 --> 00:04:33,305 Very nice to see you in your dress blues again. 101 00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,182 Oh, now, here is something 102 00:04:35,183 --> 00:04:37,852 I never thought I'd be saying again in my lifetime. 103 00:04:37,853 --> 00:04:41,857 Judge Stone, Roz, see you in court. 104 00:04:46,843 --> 00:04:49,346 If I'd have known this would make him happy, 105 00:04:49,347 --> 00:04:51,015 I never would have done it. 106 00:04:53,186 --> 00:04:55,354 And it was a one time thing. 107 00:04:57,719 --> 00:04:59,345 With that cousin. 108 00:05:02,614 --> 00:05:03,804 This one's ready. 109 00:05:06,590 --> 00:05:08,258 Gurgs. 110 00:05:08,259 --> 00:05:10,081 That's the guy who broke into the SoulCycle 111 00:05:10,082 --> 00:05:12,345 to suck all the towels. 112 00:05:12,929 --> 00:05:16,391 He was sentenced to community service. I'm the community. 113 00:05:17,225 --> 00:05:19,643 Why aren't you using your assistant? 114 00:05:19,644 --> 00:05:21,449 If you don't give her something to do, 115 00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:24,023 you can't tell her she did it wrong. 116 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,525 I just feel uncomfortable asking her for things. 117 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:27,543 - What? - Come on, 118 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,863 let's get you some water. This one barely shut. 119 00:05:34,493 --> 00:05:36,011 - I'm Dan Fielding. - I'm Madison. 120 00:05:36,012 --> 00:05:37,828 I already know too much. 121 00:05:37,829 --> 00:05:39,371 Gurgs says you work for me now. 122 00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:41,665 And she says I need coffee, black, two sugars, 123 00:05:41,666 --> 00:05:43,459 and no chit chat with the barista. 124 00:05:43,460 --> 00:05:45,254 That's a gateway to tipping. 125 00:05:45,881 --> 00:05:47,423 All rise. 126 00:05:47,424 --> 00:05:50,986 Manhattan Criminal Court part two is now in session. 127 00:05:50,987 --> 00:05:55,117 The Honorable Abby T. Stone presiding. 128 00:05:57,015 --> 00:05:59,475 You know, the T is for Tormé. 129 00:05:59,476 --> 00:06:03,021 No, I didn't know that, but I assumed. 130 00:06:04,356 --> 00:06:06,649 Hey, no eating in the courtroom. 131 00:06:06,650 --> 00:06:10,236 Oh, this isn't food. This is my purse. 132 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,834 Sorry, I have to take this. 133 00:06:12,835 --> 00:06:15,366 Hello? 134 00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:17,368 Would you mind? This is personal. 135 00:06:17,369 --> 00:06:21,330 It is now being, Beanpole. 136 00:06:21,331 --> 00:06:23,207 The People versus Ben Fisk, 137 00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:26,252 who has been charged with the disturbing the peace 138 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,386 at a movie theater. 139 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,505 The defendant created a scene in the theater 140 00:06:29,506 --> 00:06:31,298 which completely ruined Wes Anderson's 141 00:06:31,299 --> 00:06:35,135 latest attempt to entertain white people. 142 00:06:35,136 --> 00:06:38,180 Your Honor, my client suffers from a self-diagnosed 143 00:06:38,181 --> 00:06:43,143 condition called car dealership tubeman syndrome. 144 00:06:43,144 --> 00:06:44,354 Observe. 145 00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:49,859 Can you imagine trying to appreciate Jason Schwartzman's 146 00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:54,154 nuanced performance with this in front of you? 147 00:06:54,155 --> 00:06:56,574 So sad. So real. 148 00:06:56,575 --> 00:06:59,201 So not buying it. 149 00:06:59,202 --> 00:07:03,205 Though I do have a sudden urge to test drive a Kia Sorento. 150 00:07:03,206 --> 00:07:04,874 All right, $500 fine. 151 00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:07,376 And we're going to have to somehow re-restrain you. 152 00:07:07,377 --> 00:07:09,087 I got it. 153 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,006 Hey. Ah! Ow! My elbows don't go that way. 154 00:07:12,007 --> 00:07:16,010 You're elbows go where I tell them to go. 155 00:07:16,011 --> 00:07:18,721 - Ah! - Don't be a baby. 156 00:07:18,722 --> 00:07:21,015 So Roz is pretty scary, huh? 157 00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:22,558 She's the most intense person 158 00:07:22,559 --> 00:07:25,312 I've ever met without a face tattoo. 159 00:07:25,597 --> 00:07:27,563 Bailiffing tactics were a little more 160 00:07:27,564 --> 00:07:29,023 hands on in the '80s. 161 00:07:29,024 --> 00:07:30,774 I guess someone should talk to her. 162 00:07:30,775 --> 00:07:34,069 Well, I am her boss, so I can do it. 163 00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:38,574 Y'all got a janitor? The arm guy popped. 164 00:07:38,575 --> 00:07:41,035 You're gonna have to talk to her. 165 00:07:41,036 --> 00:07:44,331 Maybe I'll use the lost art of the handwritten note. 166 00:07:45,582 --> 00:07:47,834 Fine. I'll talk to her. 167 00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:53,756 Roz, we need to talk. 168 00:07:53,757 --> 00:07:56,343 Is there about that guy's hairdresser? 169 00:07:57,427 --> 00:08:01,430 In his defense, bison have pulled off that look for years. 170 00:08:01,431 --> 00:08:03,098 I think that's the only human 171 00:08:03,099 --> 00:08:05,434 who could win the Westminster dog show. 172 00:08:07,771 --> 00:08:09,647 Hey, Stone, that's not bad. 173 00:08:09,648 --> 00:08:12,400 Not bad? That's almost good. 174 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,693 What do you call that nerd's look? 175 00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:17,530 Professor Cleared of All Charges? 176 00:08:18,573 --> 00:08:20,628 You look like a professor from "Good Will Hunting." 177 00:08:20,629 --> 00:08:23,410 Not the movie. I mean, that it looks like you went hunting 178 00:08:23,411 --> 00:08:26,206 for that sweater at Goodwill. 179 00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:30,085 I usually don't feel bad here until after I eat. 180 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,337 You know, you've somehow managed to 181 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,840 remove fun from cruelty. 182 00:08:38,468 --> 00:08:41,804 I'm sorry. Roz invited me to hang out with the cool seniors. 183 00:08:41,805 --> 00:08:43,526 Legitimate seniors. 184 00:08:43,527 --> 00:08:45,260 At least Roz knows your name. 185 00:08:45,261 --> 00:08:47,226 She keeps calling me Fobert, 186 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,019 and I'm too scared to correct her. 187 00:08:49,020 --> 00:08:50,938 What if she changes my birthday? 188 00:08:50,939 --> 00:08:53,233 I love being a June baby. 189 00:08:54,693 --> 00:08:56,903 Ah, ah, ah, ah. 190 00:08:58,863 --> 00:09:00,489 What the hell are you doing? 191 00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:02,032 Did you not see the line? 192 00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:04,362 Well, lines are made to be cut. 193 00:09:04,363 --> 00:09:07,034 Lunch lines. Conga lines. Brake lines. 194 00:09:07,035 --> 00:09:09,039 Snip, snip. 195 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,292 You know, you got a real problem with authority. 196 00:09:12,293 --> 00:09:14,921 And I got a real problem with that. 197 00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:22,512 Sorry. Was that your purse? 198 00:09:26,379 --> 00:09:29,226 All right, you do something about Sergeant Tube Socks, 199 00:09:29,227 --> 00:09:31,061 or I will. 200 00:09:31,062 --> 00:09:33,814 Oh, if she pulled this in prison, 201 00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:37,777 she couldn't buy her safety with a whole carton of cigarettes. 202 00:09:41,573 --> 00:09:43,699 I don't know anything about a prison economy, 203 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,868 but that sounds bad. 204 00:09:45,869 --> 00:09:47,369 All right, I'll rein Roz in, 205 00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:49,329 but I need to throw someone under the bus, 206 00:09:49,330 --> 00:09:51,293 get ready to eat tire. 207 00:09:53,091 --> 00:09:54,917 I've been thrown under a bus once. 208 00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:56,379 It wasn't that bad. 209 00:10:01,342 --> 00:10:04,178 "Chapter five, 1987, August. 210 00:10:04,179 --> 00:10:07,418 The city was hot, but I was hotter. 211 00:10:08,721 --> 00:10:11,349 A strikingly handsome young lawyer in 212 00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:13,978 head to toe seersucker." 213 00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,067 - Hi, Mr. Fielding. - Huh? 214 00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:20,486 So I got the focus group research back. 215 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,863 For your book title, "A Dan for All Seasons" 216 00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:26,241 narrowly beat out "Fielding of Dreams." 217 00:10:26,242 --> 00:10:29,828 But to be clear, people hated both of them. 218 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,413 So, um... 219 00:10:31,414 --> 00:10:33,707 any progress on my choice to write the foreword? 220 00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:35,375 It can be any Barack Obama. 221 00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:38,378 It doesn't have to be the main one. 222 00:10:38,379 --> 00:10:40,471 You know, I read some of your manuscript. 223 00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:42,003 - It's riveting. - Oh. 224 00:10:42,004 --> 00:10:43,592 If I had one small note... 225 00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:46,762 Yeah, one small note would be too many. 226 00:10:46,763 --> 00:10:48,430 Sorry. Just got excited. 227 00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:49,973 My daddy runs Peterman Publishing, 228 00:10:49,974 --> 00:10:52,101 and he never lets me read anything. 229 00:10:52,102 --> 00:10:54,628 Not even a sneak peek of the Ray Charles biography. 230 00:10:54,629 --> 00:10:57,566 I had to find out he was blind with everyone else. 231 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,984 Peterman Publishing? 232 00:11:00,985 --> 00:11:03,320 They released the Jacques Cousteau memoir 233 00:11:03,321 --> 00:11:06,550 where he admitted how much he loved eating fish. 234 00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:12,207 You know, I wouldn't mind if you showed my memoir to your father. 235 00:11:12,208 --> 00:11:14,471 You can mention that the foreword is going to be written 236 00:11:14,472 --> 00:11:17,334 by "a Barack Obama." 237 00:11:17,335 --> 00:11:19,026 Well, I'd have to read it first. 238 00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:20,462 And I have all this work to do. 239 00:11:20,463 --> 00:11:23,590 Not to mention I'm planning my best friend's bachelorette party. 240 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,469 That's her calling now. 241 00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:30,013 No, no, you know what? My book is calling. 242 00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:32,474 No, you go read. I'll take care of this. 243 00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:35,269 Go. It's fine. Yes. Hi. Madison's phone. 244 00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:37,271 Hi. I'm sorry. She's presently occupied. 245 00:11:37,272 --> 00:11:39,231 Just consider me your maid of honor. 246 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:43,941 Now, what city have you always wanted to throw up in? 247 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,115 - Okay, we got this. - Totally. 248 00:11:48,116 --> 00:11:50,060 You're not gonna do that thing where you say you're gonna 249 00:11:50,061 --> 00:11:52,069 stand up to Roz and then immediately bail, right? 250 00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:53,302 Absolutely not. 251 00:11:53,303 --> 00:11:56,416 This time, I'm going to cave before she even gets here. 252 00:11:58,001 --> 00:12:01,045 You're the best. Don't ever change. 253 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,134 - You wanted to see me? - Yeah. Yeah. 254 00:12:07,135 --> 00:12:08,886 I just wanted to do a little check in, 255 00:12:08,887 --> 00:12:12,172 see if there was any, uh, issues we needed to hammer out. 256 00:12:12,173 --> 00:12:15,677 Why? Does somebody have a problem with me? 257 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,518 Do you have a problem with me? 258 00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:22,502 "Problem" is such a problematic word. 259 00:12:23,651 --> 00:12:26,947 Listen, I know I said this would just be a few days, but still, 260 00:12:26,948 --> 00:12:30,449 I think there's an opportunity here to learn and grow. 261 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:35,746 Oh, you think I have an opportunity to grow here? 262 00:12:35,747 --> 00:12:37,539 Yeah, absolutely. 263 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:40,709 Just need to really commit yourself to it. 264 00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:42,878 Wow. Alright. 265 00:12:42,879 --> 00:12:44,922 See what you're putting out there. 266 00:12:44,923 --> 00:12:45,932 And... 267 00:12:46,486 --> 00:12:47,761 I accept. 268 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,678 I would love to work here permanently. 269 00:12:55,415 --> 00:12:57,959 Is that what you think I was putting out there? 270 00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:05,401 That's not a good sign. 271 00:13:05,402 --> 00:13:08,071 It's technically a banner. 272 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,032 No, the fact that it says "un-retirement." 273 00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:13,742 Hey, friends. 274 00:13:13,743 --> 00:13:15,953 I was hoping you would hear this from me and not the banner, 275 00:13:15,954 --> 00:13:19,164 but I made an executive decision due to a slight misunderstanding 276 00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,166 to hire Roz forever. 277 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,062 You're killing me, Abby. 278 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:26,129 Look what I had to do to stay off of Roz's radar. 279 00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:28,548 I asked an underpaid teen to style me. 280 00:13:28,549 --> 00:13:29,812 He called this look... 281 00:13:29,813 --> 00:13:32,595 "Whatever you want. I don't care, man." 282 00:13:33,263 --> 00:13:36,098 I warned you to do something about Roz, or I would. 283 00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:38,183 So I'm going to tell you the same thing 284 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:40,269 that I told the prison chaplain. 285 00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:42,397 I don't believe in hell. 286 00:13:43,439 --> 00:13:44,940 I am doing something. 287 00:13:44,941 --> 00:13:47,776 This party is the first step in bringing us all together. 288 00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:49,444 And what's the second step? 289 00:13:49,445 --> 00:13:51,029 Step two? 290 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:54,283 Uh, being the type of leader, uh, who listens. 291 00:13:54,284 --> 00:13:56,368 So who has a great idea? 292 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,620 - Fire Roz. - Kidnap her wife and make her 293 00:13:58,621 --> 00:14:00,247 fall in love with me. 294 00:14:00,248 --> 00:14:01,957 Okay, you both failed step two. 295 00:14:01,958 --> 00:14:04,543 Look, Roz is family, and you don't kick out family. 296 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,796 No matter how many comments they make about your weight. 297 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:13,218 Don't worry. Roz is about to get Julianne-ed. 298 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,595 Wait, are you just using your name as a verb, 299 00:14:15,596 --> 00:14:17,597 or are you going to cut her up like carrots? 300 00:14:17,598 --> 00:14:20,310 Oh, I would never do that to carrots. I like carrots. 301 00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,687 All right, all right. So you promise this 302 00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:26,649 bachelorette dinner will have nude servers? 303 00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:31,404 Very important to us. Okay. 304 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,699 Tell the bride to be that all the waiters will be naked. 305 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,868 Although the manager did warn me that you'll regret 306 00:14:37,869 --> 00:14:40,203 that with two of them. 307 00:14:40,204 --> 00:14:42,205 Thanks, bestie. And did you... 308 00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:44,624 Pick up your Adderall? You bet. 309 00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:46,668 Now, if you need more, I'll just go to the schoolyard 310 00:14:46,669 --> 00:14:50,339 and find the rich kids whose parents don't really check in. 311 00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:52,174 I cannot wait to keep reading. 312 00:14:52,175 --> 00:14:54,134 I think daddy's gonna love the three chapters 313 00:14:54,135 --> 00:14:55,552 where you debunk the joys of travel. 314 00:14:55,553 --> 00:14:57,137 Yeah, come on. What is Europe except 315 00:14:57,138 --> 00:14:58,764 a bunch of crap coveted moss? 316 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:03,519 Oh. And islands? We get it. Your sand is different. 317 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:07,064 I can't read in here. You are too inspiring. 318 00:15:11,527 --> 00:15:14,029 - Madison's phone. - Yes, can you ask 319 00:15:14,030 --> 00:15:16,239 Madison if it's a dairy cheat day? 320 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,159 I'm getting us boba. 321 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,703 - Flobert. - I'll be with you in a second. 322 00:15:21,704 --> 00:15:23,831 I'm on the phone. 323 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,459 Yeah. With me! 324 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,712 Oh, Dan! 325 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:35,050 Since when are you Gurgs' assistant's assistant? 326 00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:38,053 Since I found out that her dad can get me something I want. 327 00:15:38,054 --> 00:15:39,805 You are a genius. 328 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:43,642 You're always playing three dimensional chess. 329 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,678 That's just chess. 330 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,607 Chess and mate. 331 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,734 Hold on one second. If you think it's a good idea, 332 00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:55,195 then I'm definitely being scammed. 333 00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:56,738 Have y'all seen Madison? 334 00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:58,740 I need her to help me find a gift for Roz and booze 335 00:15:58,741 --> 00:16:01,368 to give me the courage to give it to her. 336 00:16:01,369 --> 00:16:02,828 We have bigger issues. 337 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,913 Her father is not head of Peterman Publishing. 338 00:16:04,914 --> 00:16:06,581 Yeah, I know that, Dan. 339 00:16:06,582 --> 00:16:09,126 Her dad, is the president of the National Bailiff's Association. 340 00:16:09,127 --> 00:16:12,003 He's getting me a ticket to the bailiff convention at Alcatraz. 341 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,715 That's why I haven't been asking her to do anything for me. 342 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,260 We are both getting scammed. 343 00:16:18,261 --> 00:16:21,681 I'll bet she doesn't even drink the boba. 344 00:16:25,226 --> 00:16:27,018 Come on, Wyatt. 345 00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,938 You can't be that scared of someone in a rainbow caftan. 346 00:16:29,939 --> 00:16:33,275 Hey, Roz, you know, I realized that you and Wyatt 347 00:16:33,276 --> 00:16:34,985 have never had an actual conversation. 348 00:16:34,986 --> 00:16:36,695 And this guy, fascinating. 349 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,990 Really? 'Cause he's dressed like a Wheat Thin. 350 00:16:39,991 --> 00:16:43,243 Oh, yeah? Well, you sound like a Wheat Thin, 351 00:16:43,244 --> 00:16:46,496 because I think Wheat Thins are too salty. 352 00:16:46,497 --> 00:16:50,333 I think he looks like a dapper Triscuit. 353 00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:53,795 Leave the jokes to me, Fobert. 354 00:16:53,796 --> 00:16:57,340 You know, Roz, this party isn't just about welcoming you 355 00:16:57,341 --> 00:16:58,967 back inside the courthouse. 356 00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:02,597 It's also a chance to welcome everyone inside you. 357 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,307 I'm not against a key party, 358 00:17:05,308 --> 00:17:08,519 but not with this group of seven. 359 00:17:08,936 --> 00:17:11,146 If I was throwing you a sex party, 360 00:17:11,147 --> 00:17:13,232 there'd be so much more Gatorade. 361 00:17:15,818 --> 00:17:19,739 Hey, what's Erin Brockovich doing to my cake? 362 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,616 Julianne, it's a little early for cake, 363 00:17:22,617 --> 00:17:24,493 and cutting it like that, it will start something with Roz. 364 00:17:24,494 --> 00:17:27,162 Oh, my God, you're starting something with Roz. 365 00:17:27,163 --> 00:17:30,499 I couldn't resist. 366 00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,419 I want to eat your face. 367 00:17:34,629 --> 00:17:37,506 Well, if anybody's going to eat my face, 368 00:17:37,507 --> 00:17:39,841 it's going to be me. 369 00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:41,426 Eat her eyes first. 370 00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:44,012 Yeah, what do you think of my outfit now, cake? 371 00:17:44,013 --> 00:17:47,682 Fine. You can have it. 372 00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:51,186 Thank you for taking the high road. 373 00:17:51,187 --> 00:17:52,771 Oh! 374 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:57,817 But if you eat me, I'm gonna pump you full of paper. 375 00:17:57,818 --> 00:18:01,488 Oh. Roz, you can't point a confetti cannon at someone. 376 00:18:01,489 --> 00:18:04,991 - Says who? - Most balloon stores! 377 00:18:04,992 --> 00:18:06,326 And me! 378 00:18:06,327 --> 00:18:08,703 And what are you going to do, fire me? 379 00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:10,872 I might! 380 00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:13,125 It's real strong maybe. 381 00:18:14,168 --> 00:18:16,711 This is the woman that you're all so afraid of? 382 00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:18,255 I mean, she doesn't even have the balls 383 00:18:18,256 --> 00:18:20,633 to blast me in the face. 384 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:24,636 Roz, you're fired! 385 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,179 But can we just take a moment 386 00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:27,890 to appreciate how beautiful this is? 387 00:18:32,436 --> 00:18:33,770 This is so much paperwork. 388 00:18:33,771 --> 00:18:35,063 Just because one co-worker threatened to eat 389 00:18:35,064 --> 00:18:37,316 another co-worker's face. 390 00:18:38,776 --> 00:18:43,530 Just came in to turn in my badge and my taser 391 00:18:43,531 --> 00:18:45,490 and this bag of batteries. 392 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:48,494 I don't even have that vibrator anymore. 393 00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:51,455 I'll take those. 394 00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:56,459 Roz, I'm sorry I had to let you go at your own party, 395 00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,919 but you gave me no choice. 396 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,425 Of course I didn't. 397 00:18:59,426 --> 00:19:02,549 I've been trying to get fired for days. 398 00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:04,379 You wanted me to fire you? 399 00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:08,013 Yeah, because now I get a pension and a big, 400 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,682 fat severance check. 401 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,560 So you played us, manipulated us, 402 00:19:13,561 --> 00:19:17,648 and used us as pawns in your grift. 403 00:19:18,774 --> 00:19:20,610 Respect. 404 00:19:22,278 --> 00:19:25,740 Oh, nunchucks. Thanks. 405 00:19:27,158 --> 00:19:29,951 Well, I should go, too. 406 00:19:29,952 --> 00:19:33,372 I have so much stuff to return to Kohl's. 407 00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:36,833 It would have saved you so much time 408 00:19:36,834 --> 00:19:39,294 if you just said you wanted to be fired. 409 00:19:39,295 --> 00:19:40,545 But you wouldn't have done it. 410 00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:43,006 Why? Because I'm not cool? 411 00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:46,886 I did offer to throw you a well-hydrated sex party. 412 00:19:47,428 --> 00:19:48,803 No. 413 00:19:48,804 --> 00:19:51,473 Because you're Harry's kid, 414 00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:54,267 and he wouldn't have done it either. 415 00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:56,137 Not even for family. 416 00:19:57,313 --> 00:19:59,272 Are we the kind of family that hugs? 417 00:19:59,273 --> 00:20:01,400 Calm down. I'm not your cousin. 418 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,617 Hi, Dan. 419 00:20:06,618 --> 00:20:09,199 Um, I think there might have been a little mistake made. 420 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,493 You were supposed to book our bachelorette flights to 421 00:20:11,494 --> 00:20:13,787 Tulum, Mexico, but instead, we have tickets 422 00:20:13,788 --> 00:20:17,374 to somewhere called Gastown, New Mexico. 423 00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,125 Oh, no, you're gonna love it. 424 00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,835 They have their own "Thunder from Down Under." 425 00:20:20,836 --> 00:20:23,422 Mostly because of the mine explosions. 426 00:20:24,719 --> 00:20:28,594 Okay, but the tickets are non-refundable and only one way. 427 00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,094 Like our relationship has only been one way. 428 00:20:33,015 --> 00:20:35,124 You had no intention of helping us. 429 00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:36,375 But I did. 430 00:20:36,376 --> 00:20:38,788 I got you these tickets to the bailiff convention 431 00:20:38,789 --> 00:20:40,480 and you a book contract. 432 00:20:40,481 --> 00:20:42,593 You know, just give it up, Madison. 433 00:20:42,594 --> 00:20:45,429 Your dad can't be the CEO of a fancy publishing company 434 00:20:45,430 --> 00:20:47,671 and the president of the Bailiff Association. 435 00:20:47,672 --> 00:20:50,365 Unless you're going to tell us now that you have two... 436 00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:52,575 - Oh, no. - You can't trick us anymore, 437 00:20:52,576 --> 00:20:54,160 - Madison. - Gurgs. 438 00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:57,281 - Huh? - She has two dads. 439 00:20:58,855 --> 00:21:00,634 I have two dads. 440 00:21:01,502 --> 00:21:04,546 Maddie Moo, you ready for dinner? 441 00:21:04,547 --> 00:21:07,549 Who I am not going to introduce you to. 442 00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:10,070 It was nice almost meeting you. 443 00:21:10,845 --> 00:21:13,472 Yeah, people can be gay. 444 00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,558 Yeah, that's one story it's not going to be in my memoirs. 445 00:21:16,559 --> 00:21:19,769 Good. I can put it in mine. 446 00:21:19,770 --> 00:21:21,982 I'll read the hell out of that one. 447 00:21:21,983 --> 00:21:25,635 Sync and corrections by btsix www.MY-SUBS.com 33794

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.