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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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These two are charged
with destruction of property
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at a public pool.
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Your Honor, these newlyweds
were so overcome with joy,
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they wanted to take
the plunge, literally.
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And there's such a sweet air
of mystery still about them.
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She had no idea he couldn't swim.
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Not only did they damage the pool filter
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by jumping in with their cake,
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but they also completely disrupted
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a synchronized swim practice.
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$200 fine.
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And if you're that good on land,
you don't need practice.
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Gurgs, gonna get these people?
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I found them guilty,
and I'm getting uncomfortable.
15
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I'm here. What'd I miss?
16
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Oh, did y'all show up wet,
or did this just happen?
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00:00:50,442 --> 00:00:52,328
I'm so sorry.
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00:00:52,329 --> 00:00:54,596
I'm just trying to fit
in some chief bailiff work.
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Some promotion you got.
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You're still a full time bailiff,
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but with 10 times the paperwork.
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You should get an assistant.
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They handle all the paperwork,
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and they agree with you
even when they're not listening.
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- Right, Wyatt?
- Nailed it again, Judge.
26
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I do have an assistant,
but I don't want to bother her.
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Flobert's supposed to be helping me,
28
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but so far, all he's done
was eat my lunch.
29
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You asked me
to take things off your plate.
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And you know those doctors diagnosed me
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as clinically literal.
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Dan, is that your will?
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You know, you don't have to
write people out of it by name.
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Yeah. No, these are my memoirs.
35
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I've always wanted to collect
my best dinner party stories
36
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and charge money for them.
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"August 1984.
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Mistaken for Richard Gere yet again."
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By a defendant who was blind.
40
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And stupid.
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My God, Roz, what a surprise!
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Just looking for somebody who
could say great things about me.
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Well, keep looking, Fielding.
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Runaway groom! Somebody get him!
45
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Is that guy okay,
or should we call an ambulance?
46
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Nailed it again, Judge.
47
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Dude, you got to listen sometimes.
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Sync and corrections by btsix
www.MY-SUBS.com
49
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You know, Roz, seeing you
level that groom took me back
50
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to a simpler time.
51
00:02:15,661 --> 00:02:18,471
Do you remember when the
only candy store in Times Square
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was that guy named Electric Larry,
with his pants full of pills?
53
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So what brings you back here, Roz?
Did you miss me, or...
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Actually, I can't think
of any other options.
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I missed you, too.
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I'm here to yell at people.
57
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Oh, hey. I got a list.
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Starting with Sandy from
the death certificate office,
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stealing my look.
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00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:42,288
Hey. Yeah, Sandy! I'm looking at you.
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City claims I'm three days
short of qualifying
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for my pension.
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Apparently, hiding in a bunker
is not an approved absence.
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Stupid Y2K.
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Don't get me started on Y2K.
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That night, I drank tang
like there was no tomorrow,
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grabbed my cousin and
had my first kiss on the lips.
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You know, in some ways,
I wish the world had ended.
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What am I going to do about this?
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Have you considered blackmail?
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All we need is some doctored
pictures of those pension nerds
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high fiving Bernie Madoff.
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You did use
those Photoshop classes I got
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you for Christmas.
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We don't need to blackmail anyone.
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I got a better idea.
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Come on out.
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And if you feel the urge
to twirl, twirl, girl.
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I don't twirl.
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Keep it together, Gurgs.
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You're her boss now.
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Oh, she can hear this.
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This is the perfect solution.
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You help us out for a few days,
and you get your pension.
85
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Another great thing about you being back
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is we can send you off in style.
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What better way to cap off your
career than throwing you a...
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Briefcase full of cash.
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Close. A cafeteria full of fun.
90
00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:06,112
How about we throw you
a retirement party?
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Whatever.
92
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Okay. Indifference. Not rejection.
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Are we becoming friends?
94
00:04:14,579 --> 00:04:16,539
Can I call you Aunt Roz?
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Because my actual aunt
stopped talking to me
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after I kissed her son
and ruined her New Year's party.
97
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The more you talk about it,
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the more I think
that wasn't a one time thing.
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Ms. Russell.
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Very nice to see you
in your dress blues again.
101
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Oh, now, here is something
102
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I never thought I'd be saying
again in my lifetime.
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Judge Stone, Roz, see you in court.
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If I'd have known
this would make him happy,
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I never would have done it.
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And it was a one time thing.
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With that cousin.
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This one's ready.
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Gurgs.
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That's the guy
who broke into the SoulCycle
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to suck all the towels.
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He was sentenced to community
service. I'm the community.
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Why aren't you using your assistant?
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If you don't give her something to do,
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you can't tell her she did it wrong.
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I just feel uncomfortable
asking her for things.
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- What?
- Come on,
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let's get you some water.
This one barely shut.
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- I'm Dan Fielding.
- I'm Madison.
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I already know too much.
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Gurgs says you work for me now.
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And she says I need coffee,
black, two sugars,
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and no chit chat with the barista.
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That's a gateway to tipping.
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All rise.
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Manhattan Criminal Court
part two is now in session.
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The Honorable Abby T. Stone presiding.
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You know, the T is for Tormé.
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No, I didn't know that, but I assumed.
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Hey, no eating in the courtroom.
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Oh, this isn't food. This is my purse.
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Sorry, I have to take this.
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Hello?
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Would you mind? This is personal.
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It is now being, Beanpole.
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00:06:21,331 --> 00:06:23,207
The People versus Ben Fisk,
137
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:26,252
who has been charged
with the disturbing the peace
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at a movie theater.
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The defendant created
a scene in the theater
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which completely ruined Wes Anderson's
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latest attempt
to entertain white people.
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Your Honor, my client
suffers from a self-diagnosed
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condition called car dealership
tubeman syndrome.
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Observe.
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Can you imagine trying to
appreciate Jason Schwartzman's
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nuanced performance with this
in front of you?
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So sad. So real.
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So not buying it.
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00:06:59,202 --> 00:07:03,205
Though I do have a sudden urge
to test drive a Kia Sorento.
150
00:07:03,206 --> 00:07:04,874
All right, $500 fine.
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00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:07,376
And we're going to have to
somehow re-restrain you.
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I got it.
153
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,006
Hey. Ah! Ow!
My elbows don't go that way.
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You're elbows
go where I tell them to go.
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- Ah!
- Don't be a baby.
156
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So Roz is pretty scary, huh?
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She's the most intense person
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I've ever met without a face tattoo.
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Bailiffing tactics were a little more
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hands on in the '80s.
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I guess someone should talk to her.
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Well, I am her boss, so I can do it.
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Y'all got a janitor? The arm guy popped.
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You're gonna have to talk to her.
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Maybe I'll use the lost art
of the handwritten note.
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Fine. I'll talk to her.
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Roz, we need to talk.
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00:07:53,757 --> 00:07:56,343
Is there about that guy's hairdresser?
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In his defense, bison have
pulled off that look for years.
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00:08:01,431 --> 00:08:03,098
I think that's the only human
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who could win the Westminster dog show.
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Hey, Stone, that's not bad.
173
00:08:09,648 --> 00:08:12,400
Not bad? That's almost good.
174
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,693
What do you call that nerd's look?
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Professor Cleared of All Charges?
176
00:08:18,573 --> 00:08:20,628
You look like a professor
from "Good Will Hunting."
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00:08:20,629 --> 00:08:23,410
Not the movie. I mean, that
it looks like you went hunting
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for that sweater at Goodwill.
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00:08:26,915 --> 00:08:30,085
I usually don't feel bad here
until after I eat.
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You know, you've somehow managed to
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00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,840
remove fun from cruelty.
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00:08:38,468 --> 00:08:41,804
I'm sorry. Roz invited me to
hang out with the cool seniors.
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Legitimate seniors.
184
00:08:43,527 --> 00:08:45,260
At least Roz knows your name.
185
00:08:45,261 --> 00:08:47,226
She keeps calling me Fobert,
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and I'm too scared to correct her.
187
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What if she changes my birthday?
188
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I love being a June baby.
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00:08:54,693 --> 00:08:56,903
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
190
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What the hell are you doing?
191
00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:02,032
Did you not see the line?
192
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:04,362
Well, lines are made to be cut.
193
00:09:04,363 --> 00:09:07,034
Lunch lines. Conga lines. Brake lines.
194
00:09:07,035 --> 00:09:09,039
Snip, snip.
195
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,292
You know, you got
a real problem with authority.
196
00:09:12,293 --> 00:09:14,921
And I got a real problem with that.
197
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:22,512
Sorry. Was that your purse?
198
00:09:26,379 --> 00:09:29,226
All right, you do something
about Sergeant Tube Socks,
199
00:09:29,227 --> 00:09:31,061
or I will.
200
00:09:31,062 --> 00:09:33,814
Oh, if she pulled this in prison,
201
00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:37,777
she couldn't buy her safety with
a whole carton of cigarettes.
202
00:09:41,573 --> 00:09:43,699
I don't know anything
about a prison economy,
203
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,868
but that sounds bad.
204
00:09:45,869 --> 00:09:47,369
All right, I'll rein Roz in,
205
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:49,329
but I need to throw someone
under the bus,
206
00:09:49,330 --> 00:09:51,293
get ready to eat tire.
207
00:09:53,091 --> 00:09:54,917
I've been thrown under a bus once.
208
00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:56,379
It wasn't that bad.
209
00:10:01,342 --> 00:10:04,178
"Chapter five, 1987, August.
210
00:10:04,179 --> 00:10:07,418
The city was hot, but I was hotter.
211
00:10:08,721 --> 00:10:11,349
A strikingly handsome young lawyer in
212
00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:13,978
head to toe seersucker."
213
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,067
- Hi, Mr. Fielding.
- Huh?
214
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:20,486
So I got the focus group research back.
215
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,863
For your book title,
"A Dan for All Seasons"
216
00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:26,241
narrowly beat out "Fielding of Dreams."
217
00:10:26,242 --> 00:10:29,828
But to be clear,
people hated both of them.
218
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,413
So, um...
219
00:10:31,414 --> 00:10:33,707
any progress on
my choice to write the foreword?
220
00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:35,375
It can be any Barack Obama.
221
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:38,378
It doesn't have to be the main one.
222
00:10:38,379 --> 00:10:40,471
You know,
I read some of your manuscript.
223
00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:42,003
- It's riveting.
- Oh.
224
00:10:42,004 --> 00:10:43,592
If I had one small note...
225
00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:46,762
Yeah, one small note would be too many.
226
00:10:46,763 --> 00:10:48,430
Sorry. Just got excited.
227
00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:49,973
My daddy runs Peterman Publishing,
228
00:10:49,974 --> 00:10:52,101
and he never lets me read anything.
229
00:10:52,102 --> 00:10:54,628
Not even a sneak peek
of the Ray Charles biography.
230
00:10:54,629 --> 00:10:57,566
I had to find out he was
blind with everyone else.
231
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,984
Peterman Publishing?
232
00:11:00,985 --> 00:11:03,320
They released
the Jacques Cousteau memoir
233
00:11:03,321 --> 00:11:06,550
where he admitted
how much he loved eating fish.
234
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:12,207
You know, I wouldn't mind if you
showed my memoir to your father.
235
00:11:12,208 --> 00:11:14,471
You can mention that the
foreword is going to be written
236
00:11:14,472 --> 00:11:17,334
by "a Barack Obama."
237
00:11:17,335 --> 00:11:19,026
Well, I'd have to read it first.
238
00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:20,462
And I have all this work to do.
239
00:11:20,463 --> 00:11:23,590
Not to mention I'm planning my
best friend's bachelorette party.
240
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,469
That's her calling now.
241
00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:30,013
No, no, you know what?
My book is calling.
242
00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:32,474
No, you go read. I'll take care of this.
243
00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:35,269
Go. It's fine. Yes. Hi. Madison's phone.
244
00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:37,271
Hi. I'm sorry. She's presently occupied.
245
00:11:37,272 --> 00:11:39,231
Just consider me your maid of honor.
246
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:43,941
Now, what city have you
always wanted to throw up in?
247
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,115
- Okay, we got this.
- Totally.
248
00:11:48,116 --> 00:11:50,060
You're not gonna do that thing
where you say you're gonna
249
00:11:50,061 --> 00:11:52,069
stand up to Roz
and then immediately bail, right?
250
00:11:52,070 --> 00:11:53,302
Absolutely not.
251
00:11:53,303 --> 00:11:56,416
This time, I'm going to cave
before she even gets here.
252
00:11:58,001 --> 00:12:01,045
You're the best. Don't ever change.
253
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:07,134
- You wanted to see me?
- Yeah. Yeah.
254
00:12:07,135 --> 00:12:08,886
I just wanted to do a little check in,
255
00:12:08,887 --> 00:12:12,172
see if there was any, uh,
issues we needed to hammer out.
256
00:12:12,173 --> 00:12:15,677
Why? Does somebody have
a problem with me?
257
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,518
Do you have a problem with me?
258
00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:22,502
"Problem" is such a problematic word.
259
00:12:23,651 --> 00:12:26,947
Listen, I know I said this would
just be a few days, but still,
260
00:12:26,948 --> 00:12:30,449
I think there's an opportunity
here to learn and grow.
261
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:35,746
Oh, you think I have
an opportunity to grow here?
262
00:12:35,747 --> 00:12:37,539
Yeah, absolutely.
263
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:40,709
Just need to really commit
yourself to it.
264
00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:42,878
Wow. Alright.
265
00:12:42,879 --> 00:12:44,922
See what you're putting out there.
266
00:12:44,923 --> 00:12:45,932
And...
267
00:12:46,486 --> 00:12:47,761
I accept.
268
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,678
I would love to work here permanently.
269
00:12:55,415 --> 00:12:57,959
Is that what you think
I was putting out there?
270
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:05,401
That's not a good sign.
271
00:13:05,402 --> 00:13:08,071
It's technically a banner.
272
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,032
No, the fact that it says
"un-retirement."
273
00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:13,742
Hey, friends.
274
00:13:13,743 --> 00:13:15,953
I was hoping you would hear
this from me and not the banner,
275
00:13:15,954 --> 00:13:19,164
but I made an executive decision
due to a slight misunderstanding
276
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,166
to hire Roz forever.
277
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,062
You're killing me, Abby.
278
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:26,129
Look what I had to do
to stay off of Roz's radar.
279
00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:28,548
I asked an underpaid teen to style me.
280
00:13:28,549 --> 00:13:29,812
He called this look...
281
00:13:29,813 --> 00:13:32,595
"Whatever you want. I don't care, man."
282
00:13:33,263 --> 00:13:36,098
I warned you to do
something about Roz, or I would.
283
00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:38,183
So I'm going to tell you the same thing
284
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:40,269
that I told the prison chaplain.
285
00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:42,397
I don't believe in hell.
286
00:13:43,439 --> 00:13:44,940
I am doing something.
287
00:13:44,941 --> 00:13:47,776
This party is the first step
in bringing us all together.
288
00:13:47,777 --> 00:13:49,444
And what's the second step?
289
00:13:49,445 --> 00:13:51,029
Step two?
290
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:54,283
Uh, being the type of leader,
uh, who listens.
291
00:13:54,284 --> 00:13:56,368
So who has a great idea?
292
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,620
- Fire Roz.
- Kidnap her wife and make her
293
00:13:58,621 --> 00:14:00,247
fall in love with me.
294
00:14:00,248 --> 00:14:01,957
Okay, you both failed step two.
295
00:14:01,958 --> 00:14:04,543
Look, Roz is family,
and you don't kick out family.
296
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,796
No matter how many comments
they make about your weight.
297
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:13,218
Don't worry.
Roz is about to get Julianne-ed.
298
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,595
Wait, are you just using
your name as a verb,
299
00:14:15,596 --> 00:14:17,597
or are you going to cut her
up like carrots?
300
00:14:17,598 --> 00:14:20,310
Oh, I would never do that
to carrots. I like carrots.
301
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,687
All right, all right.
So you promise this
302
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:26,649
bachelorette dinner will have
nude servers?
303
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:31,404
Very important to us. Okay.
304
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,699
Tell the bride to be that
all the waiters will be naked.
305
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,868
Although the manager did warn me
that you'll regret
306
00:14:37,869 --> 00:14:40,203
that with two of them.
307
00:14:40,204 --> 00:14:42,205
Thanks, bestie. And did you...
308
00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:44,624
Pick up your Adderall? You bet.
309
00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:46,668
Now, if you need more,
I'll just go to the schoolyard
310
00:14:46,669 --> 00:14:50,339
and find the rich kids whose
parents don't really check in.
311
00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:52,174
I cannot wait to keep reading.
312
00:14:52,175 --> 00:14:54,134
I think daddy's gonna
love the three chapters
313
00:14:54,135 --> 00:14:55,552
where you debunk the joys of travel.
314
00:14:55,553 --> 00:14:57,137
Yeah, come on. What is Europe except
315
00:14:57,138 --> 00:14:58,764
a bunch of crap coveted moss?
316
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:03,519
Oh. And islands? We get it.
Your sand is different.
317
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:07,064
I can't read in here.
You are too inspiring.
318
00:15:11,527 --> 00:15:14,029
- Madison's phone.
- Yes, can you ask
319
00:15:14,030 --> 00:15:16,239
Madison if it's a dairy cheat day?
320
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,159
I'm getting us boba.
321
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,703
- Flobert.
- I'll be with you in a second.
322
00:15:21,704 --> 00:15:23,831
I'm on the phone.
323
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,459
Yeah. With me!
324
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,712
Oh, Dan!
325
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:35,050
Since when are you Gurgs'
assistant's assistant?
326
00:15:35,051 --> 00:15:38,053
Since I found out that her
dad can get me something I want.
327
00:15:38,054 --> 00:15:39,805
You are a genius.
328
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:43,642
You're always playing
three dimensional chess.
329
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,678
That's just chess.
330
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,607
Chess and mate.
331
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,734
Hold on one second.
If you think it's a good idea,
332
00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:55,195
then I'm definitely being scammed.
333
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:56,738
Have y'all seen Madison?
334
00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:58,740
I need her to help me find
a gift for Roz and booze
335
00:15:58,741 --> 00:16:01,368
to give me the courage
to give it to her.
336
00:16:01,369 --> 00:16:02,828
We have bigger issues.
337
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,913
Her father is not head
of Peterman Publishing.
338
00:16:04,914 --> 00:16:06,581
Yeah, I know that, Dan.
339
00:16:06,582 --> 00:16:09,126
Her dad, is the president of the
National Bailiff's Association.
340
00:16:09,127 --> 00:16:12,003
He's getting me a ticket to the
bailiff convention at Alcatraz.
341
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,715
That's why I haven't been asking
her to do anything for me.
342
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,260
We are both getting scammed.
343
00:16:18,261 --> 00:16:21,681
I'll bet she doesn't even
drink the boba.
344
00:16:25,226 --> 00:16:27,018
Come on, Wyatt.
345
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,938
You can't be that scared
of someone in a rainbow caftan.
346
00:16:29,939 --> 00:16:33,275
Hey, Roz, you know, I realized
that you and Wyatt
347
00:16:33,276 --> 00:16:34,985
have never had an actual conversation.
348
00:16:34,986 --> 00:16:36,695
And this guy, fascinating.
349
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,990
Really? 'Cause he's dressed
like a Wheat Thin.
350
00:16:39,991 --> 00:16:43,243
Oh, yeah? Well, you sound
like a Wheat Thin,
351
00:16:43,244 --> 00:16:46,496
because I think
Wheat Thins are too salty.
352
00:16:46,497 --> 00:16:50,333
I think he looks like a dapper Triscuit.
353
00:16:50,334 --> 00:16:53,795
Leave the jokes to me, Fobert.
354
00:16:53,796 --> 00:16:57,340
You know, Roz, this party isn't
just about welcoming you
355
00:16:57,341 --> 00:16:58,967
back inside the courthouse.
356
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:02,597
It's also a chance
to welcome everyone inside you.
357
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,307
I'm not against a key party,
358
00:17:05,308 --> 00:17:08,519
but not with this group of seven.
359
00:17:08,936 --> 00:17:11,146
If I was throwing you a sex party,
360
00:17:11,147 --> 00:17:13,232
there'd be so much more Gatorade.
361
00:17:15,818 --> 00:17:19,739
Hey, what's Erin Brockovich
doing to my cake?
362
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,616
Julianne, it's a little early for cake,
363
00:17:22,617 --> 00:17:24,493
and cutting it like that, it
will start something with Roz.
364
00:17:24,494 --> 00:17:27,162
Oh, my God, you're
starting something with Roz.
365
00:17:27,163 --> 00:17:30,499
I couldn't resist.
366
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,419
I want to eat your face.
367
00:17:34,629 --> 00:17:37,506
Well, if anybody's going to eat my face,
368
00:17:37,507 --> 00:17:39,841
it's going to be me.
369
00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:41,426
Eat her eyes first.
370
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:44,012
Yeah, what do you think of my
outfit now, cake?
371
00:17:44,013 --> 00:17:47,682
Fine. You can have it.
372
00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:51,186
Thank you for taking the high road.
373
00:17:51,187 --> 00:17:52,771
Oh!
374
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:57,817
But if you eat me, I'm gonna
pump you full of paper.
375
00:17:57,818 --> 00:18:01,488
Oh. Roz, you can't point
a confetti cannon at someone.
376
00:18:01,489 --> 00:18:04,991
- Says who?
- Most balloon stores!
377
00:18:04,992 --> 00:18:06,326
And me!
378
00:18:06,327 --> 00:18:08,703
And what are you going to do, fire me?
379
00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:10,872
I might!
380
00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:13,125
It's real strong maybe.
381
00:18:14,168 --> 00:18:16,711
This is the woman
that you're all so afraid of?
382
00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:18,255
I mean, she doesn't even have the balls
383
00:18:18,256 --> 00:18:20,633
to blast me in the face.
384
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:24,636
Roz, you're fired!
385
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,179
But can we just take a moment
386
00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:27,890
to appreciate how beautiful this is?
387
00:18:32,436 --> 00:18:33,770
This is so much paperwork.
388
00:18:33,771 --> 00:18:35,063
Just because one
co-worker threatened to eat
389
00:18:35,064 --> 00:18:37,316
another co-worker's face.
390
00:18:38,776 --> 00:18:43,530
Just came in
to turn in my badge and my taser
391
00:18:43,531 --> 00:18:45,490
and this bag of batteries.
392
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:48,494
I don't even have that vibrator anymore.
393
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:51,455
I'll take those.
394
00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:56,459
Roz, I'm sorry I had to let
you go at your own party,
395
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,919
but you gave me no choice.
396
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,425
Of course I didn't.
397
00:18:59,426 --> 00:19:02,549
I've been trying to get fired for days.
398
00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:04,379
You wanted me to fire you?
399
00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:08,013
Yeah, because now
I get a pension and a big,
400
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,682
fat severance check.
401
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,560
So you played us, manipulated us,
402
00:19:13,561 --> 00:19:17,648
and used us as pawns in your grift.
403
00:19:18,774 --> 00:19:20,610
Respect.
404
00:19:22,278 --> 00:19:25,740
Oh, nunchucks. Thanks.
405
00:19:27,158 --> 00:19:29,951
Well, I should go, too.
406
00:19:29,952 --> 00:19:33,372
I have so much stuff
to return to Kohl's.
407
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:36,833
It would have saved you so much time
408
00:19:36,834 --> 00:19:39,294
if you just said you wanted to be fired.
409
00:19:39,295 --> 00:19:40,545
But you wouldn't have done it.
410
00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:43,006
Why? Because I'm not cool?
411
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:46,886
I did offer to throw
you a well-hydrated sex party.
412
00:19:47,428 --> 00:19:48,803
No.
413
00:19:48,804 --> 00:19:51,473
Because you're Harry's kid,
414
00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:54,267
and he wouldn't have done it either.
415
00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:56,137
Not even for family.
416
00:19:57,313 --> 00:19:59,272
Are we the kind of family that hugs?
417
00:19:59,273 --> 00:20:01,400
Calm down. I'm not your cousin.
418
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,617
Hi, Dan.
419
00:20:06,618 --> 00:20:09,199
Um, I think there might
have been a little mistake made.
420
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,493
You were supposed to book our
bachelorette flights to
421
00:20:11,494 --> 00:20:13,787
Tulum, Mexico,
but instead, we have tickets
422
00:20:13,788 --> 00:20:17,374
to somewhere called Gastown, New Mexico.
423
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:19,125
Oh, no, you're gonna love it.
424
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,835
They have their own
"Thunder from Down Under."
425
00:20:20,836 --> 00:20:23,422
Mostly because of the mine explosions.
426
00:20:24,719 --> 00:20:28,594
Okay, but the tickets are
non-refundable and only one way.
427
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:32,094
Like our relationship
has only been one way.
428
00:20:33,015 --> 00:20:35,124
You had no intention of helping us.
429
00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:36,375
But I did.
430
00:20:36,376 --> 00:20:38,788
I got you these tickets
to the bailiff convention
431
00:20:38,789 --> 00:20:40,480
and you a book contract.
432
00:20:40,481 --> 00:20:42,593
You know, just give it up, Madison.
433
00:20:42,594 --> 00:20:45,429
Your dad can't be the CEO
of a fancy publishing company
434
00:20:45,430 --> 00:20:47,671
and the president
of the Bailiff Association.
435
00:20:47,672 --> 00:20:50,365
Unless you're going to tell
us now that you have two...
436
00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:52,575
- Oh, no.
- You can't trick us anymore,
437
00:20:52,576 --> 00:20:54,160
- Madison.
- Gurgs.
438
00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:57,281
- Huh?
- She has two dads.
439
00:20:58,855 --> 00:21:00,634
I have two dads.
440
00:21:01,502 --> 00:21:04,546
Maddie Moo, you ready for dinner?
441
00:21:04,547 --> 00:21:07,549
Who I am not going to introduce you to.
442
00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:10,070
It was nice almost meeting you.
443
00:21:10,845 --> 00:21:13,472
Yeah, people can be gay.
444
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,558
Yeah, that's one story it's
not going to be in my memoirs.
445
00:21:16,559 --> 00:21:19,769
Good. I can put it in mine.
446
00:21:19,770 --> 00:21:21,982
I'll read the hell out of that one.
447
00:21:21,983 --> 00:21:25,635
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.MY-SUBS.com
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