Original subtitles

Previously, on Clean Slate...

Go on a date with me.

I deserve way better than you.

- I'm Rhonda. - I'm just glad the girls

are getting along so well.

- Your number. - Yes, ma'am.

- James just texted me back. - Ooh!

Still waiting for Louis to talk to me and we live together.

I miss my old life.

My friends, the gallery... even Gavin sometimes.

You know what name is on your child's baptismal certificate.

You go against the Lord's intentions, you go against me.

Pastor, she's just being who she is.

Where's Louis? Was he raptured before me? I knew this was gonna happen.

Oh, he was asked to play the organ at a dear friend's funeral in New Orleans.

James...

Yes, Louis?

Oh, you are the powder to my beignets.

- Poor thing. - Mm.

- Good morning, saints. - Good morning.

Now, y'all know that next Sunday is Baptism Sunday.

And our brothers and sisters will all be redeemed.

And their baptismal certificates will be ceremoniously added

to my file cabinet.

He still boils my butterfinger. Look at him.

You know what?

It is kind of infuriating that I fixed my name in 28 different places

just to have Pastor Hughes hold my baptismal certificate hostage.

You want me to break in Watergate-style?

I'll go in and I'll yank that waka flocka

out of his file cabinet. Just look at him up there.

Last time you intervened, you committed multiple felonies, Dad.

Allegedly. But this time...

This time... I'm gonna cut out the middleman.

- Look out now. - Mm-hmm.

Ooh.

Hi! I'd like to change my name on my old baptismal certificate.

Is there a form I could fill out or something?

Good afternoon to you.

Good afternoon, Pastor.

Well, this ain't the DMV.

So if you want your name on an original baptismal certificate,

you gotta get baptized.

Okay! Well, then, I'd like to be baptized. Again.

Because if I were to die, Saint Peter would call me the wrong name,

and it could get all Waffle House at two a.m. at those Pearly Gates.

Well, our church doesn't allow second baptisms.

The first one pretty much covers everything.

After those splashes, you're good till you're ashes.

Charming.

People love a good rhyme.

Is there a rule against being re-baptized

under your real, authentic name, Pastor?

Even if you could,

the classes have been full for months.

Listen, I really think that you should let this go instead of causing trouble.

Trouble? Me? Never.

You know, I really wish that I could help you,

but, uh, my hands are tied. Like Jesus to the cross.

Be blessed.

You be blessed!

It is so nice to see Opal just being a kid.

What does she normally do on a Sunday?

Watches Bloomberg. Begs me to open an E-Trade account.

I bet you I can go higher than you.

I'll go so high I'll flip over the bar.

Opal, don't do that.

Okay. I won't. But, Lulu, just know that I probably could.

You know, when I was young,

I would've done a backflip off of that swing set in a heartbeat.

Now I'm sitting over here screaming "caution"

like I'm some sort of safety nerd.

Well, when I was young,

I would've walked straight across the top of that swing set.

- With a Zima in each hand. - Wild child.

And now look at us, huh? Got juice boxes and PB&Js.

Living that carpool life, baby. Mm.

You are ridiculous.

You, uh... wanna hang out on Saturday?

Sure, yeah. Lulu would be thrilled.

Not a playdate. A... date-date.

Oh.

I'll uncork something special from my Capri Sun cellar.

Well, with an offer like that...

- Lulu, wanna watch Bloomberg? - What?

Um, my name is Desiree Slate,

and I left a message... well, six messages...

- for Bishop Cobb about a name change. - We already said...

Yes, I know you said that the pastor gets the final word,

but there are special circumstances.

I'm sorry, that's out of our jurisdiction. Be blessed.

Thank you.

Hard pass.

Hey.

Where've you been? I texted you to come over hours ago.

Well, you can't just signal me like Batman

and think I'm gonna pop down from the sky.

I was with James in New Orleans.

And I did try to call you on my drive back.

I know. I was on hold forever. Long story.

What's with the pajamas in the middle of the day?

The last time I saw you pajama-sad

was when Jennifer Hudson got kicked off American Idol.

- She should've made at least top three! - Top three, I know.

Do you anyone who could help me get into baptism class?

Pastor Hughes said I couldn't take them because they were full,

but that's just his bullshit way of saying, "Not in my church!"

Wh... what's all this for?

I'm trying to replace my old baptism certificate.

Can't they just change your name?

Girl.

You... I got you.

The baptism teacher, Miss Rachel, owes me a favor.

I went down to the car dealership and pretended to be her boyfriend

so she wouldn't get ripped off.

I got girlfriend a 3% APR, baby. Vroom, vroom.

Screw you, Pastor Hughes. Vroom, vroom.

- Uh-huh. - ♪Screw you, Pastor Hughes ♪

- Vroom, vroom! - ♪Screw you, Pastor Hughes ♪

Vroom, vroom!

Vroom, vroom!

Hey, what the hell's wrong with y'all? Why are y'all so happy?

They bringing back the McRib?

I'm getting re-baptized.

How come they can't just change your name?

Girl.

Well, what you want me to do?

- Throw me a baptism party! - Aww!

A party? Hell, I can do that.

Maybe, um, ask Ella for help with the planning...

And the decorating.

And the cooking.

Then what am I gonna do?

Stay away from the cake until it's served.

Can anyone tell me what it means to be a Christian?

Me, me, me!

Desiree.

Being a Christian means you've accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior,

and that you will dedicate your life

to being an example of what it looks like to lead with love.

That is correct!

She gets all the candy.

Sorry, kiddo. Candy's for closers.

So, you ready for your big date?

Oh, it's not a "big" anything, it's just dinner.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna screw it up.

Contrary to what you may think, your dad's got game.

Okay, then. What are you wearing?

Where are you guys going? She have any food allergies?

Whoa, I don't know. I decided to order Applebee's.

Two for $25. Apps, of course.

Maybe rent Ghostbusters II.

And that is the exact reason why I brought in reinforcements.

Come in.

What?

Miguel's Eye for the Straight Guy, at your service.

What am I gonna do, build her an entertainment system?

Ah, your boy has been singling and mingling for years

with great success.

Plus, every other adult I know is busy.

I'm gonna make you a lean, mean, dating machine.

First-rate, looking great, ready to date.

Whoo!

As you prepare for tomorrow's baptism,

I have one final question for you.

What do you think needs to be washed away?

Thea?

I just wanna be a firefighter.

And I want God on my side when I fight fires.

Mm-hmm.

Desiree, what do you need washed away?

What in your life do you need to purge?

Uh, there was a bad relationship with Gavin.

Maybe we can set him on fire.

Trust me, I considered it.

Thank you for sharing, Desiree. Thank you so much...

I lost myself.

I burned so many bridges trying to make it to the top.

- But there were no couches to crash on... - Desiree...

no friends left.

I ran away from here and then I had to come crawling back.

- I sleep in my childhood bedroom... - Me too!

And I maybe have four dollars to my name.

I'm jumping through hoops for this pastor.

- Desiree... - I carry all the right crystals,

and know all the right mantras and drink all the right teas and smoothies

- and nothing has worked! - Desiree!

That's it for today!

I don't know what needs to be washed away because I don't have anything left!

I'm just a sad bitch!

This bitch is sad!

Surprise!

What are you doing here?

I feel terrible about you always coming to visit me in New Orleans,

so I thought I'd return the favor. I got your favorite.

Oh! You shouldn't have.

You really shouldn't have.

Um, wow, you're really here. I don't know why.

Let's, uh... Wait right here. Um, I'll be right back.

- Okay. - Or you can wait in the car.

- Okay. - Safer to wait in the car.

- I'll wait in the car. - Really tough neighborhood. Yup. Cool.

I'm pretty sure I just emotionally scarred several children in a baptism class.

Girl.

I'm spent, Betty. I'm so spent.

It is always a struggle.

My boyfriend in New York,

coming back here, this pastor, my career.

Girl, walking down the street. I'm tired.

It just never ends.

You know girls like us spend a lot of time fighting for space.

Lord knows, plenty of people won't give it to us willingly.

But sometimes, especially when you're feeling lost,

the best thing you can do is just go where you're wanted.

Get what you want.

Casserole and a good playlist.

I try. May I have this dance?

You may.

- I'm very formal. - Then where's your top hat?

- I haven't done this in a while. - I can tell.

Jeez.

Do you want me to breakdance instead? I do a mean robot.

One second.

Hi.

Okay, so I know I haven't exactly given you the time of day,

- but that all changes tonight. - Uh...

I think that's my cue to leave.

- Rhonda, please, I... - No, no, please.

I'm... I'm going.

You sure know how to make an entrance.

Can you please cut me some slack?

I'm kind of at rock bottom here

- and I was hoping we could... - And I'm your rock bottom?

I think I should go. I'm so sorry.

It was too good, right?

Yup, it was so good, so good.

Are you, uh, you sure you don't wanna take your jacket off?

It's a bit warm out here.

I can't. Uh, yeah, no.

It takes time for my body to adjust to the changing temperature.

Yeah, yeah. Hot, cold, hot, cold.

Gotcha. Ooh, let's get some ice cream.

Ooh, let's not. It's terrible.

It tastes like mashed potatoes. You don't want it.

Hi... Mom!

Hey, sweetie!

What are you doing here? And who is this?

This is James. James, this is my mother, Mrs. Ella Dunbar.

Nice to meet you, Mrs. Dunbar.

You too.

Okay, enough small talk.

James is a very busy doctor

and he's got a lot of patients to see tomorrow, so...

You work on Sundays?

Are you one of those fancy weekend doctors

that goes to rich people's houses when they have the sniffles?

No, ma'am, I'm a dermatologist.

And since bacne's rarely life-threatening, I have weekends off.

Oh, you stopped seeing patients on weekends. Wow, that's so crazy.

James, would you like to come to our church's baptism ceremony tomorrow?

Louis is leading the choir,

and we're having a little party for our friend afterwards.

- You're welcome to both. - I don't think James wants to go

- to some boring baptism. - Nonsense! I wouldn't miss it.

You know, baptisms are one of my favorite isms!

Ooh, a funny doctor! I'll see you there.

- See you there! - All right. Bye, honey.

She's so nice!

What the hell?

Hell, I could ask you the same question.

Heard all that wretched shrieking down here.

I thought that possum got stuck in the air conditioner again.

What's going on?

It's me. I'm the possum.

What the hell is happening here?

Do I have to kick somebody's ass? 'Cause I will.

I went to the one place where I thought I was wanted,

but I wasn't wanted there, either. I'm not wanted anywhere.

Oh, Des, Des... You are wanted.

You're definitely wanted. I want you.

You've never said that before.

Yeah, but I'm saying it now. And I'm sorry it took so long.

I love you.

It's good, it's good. It's good. Mm-hmm.

Let it out. Let it all out.

Listen, now, I know you're tired.

I can't even imagine what you been going through in the last 23 years.

But you're home now, and you don't have to fight anymore.

Even this baptismal tomorrow.

That sound like another fight.

Mm-mm. Des?

Why don't me and you just stay at home tomorrow?

And I sprinkle you with some water from the kitchen sink?

Mm-hmm.

I have an idea, Dad.

I know a place where the water hits different.

♪ Whoa, happy day ♪

Yes!

Our sister Desiree has been on a long journey.

Through a desert of broken dreams, tattered bridges,

and unfortunate car-jackings...

to finally return home.

And so, we all stand here before you

to accept the sacred duty

to cherish, nurture, and protect you.

And protect your edges.

Thank you, Ella. But if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do it all the way.

Leaving my edges in the hands of the good Lord above.

- Hallelujah. - Hallelujah.

We love you something fierce, Desiree Slate.

Are you ready to wash your past away and lay your burdens down?

I'm ready.

♪ I'd rather be dry but at least I'm alive ♪

Run! Turn off the hot wax.

♪ Rain on me, rain, rain ♪

♪ I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm alive ♪

♪ Rain on me, rain, rain ♪

That's what I'm talking about.

Mama only makes Grandma Lane's cake for special occasions.

That is so sweet!

And you are special.

Desiree, look at you.

You've got that new-car shine. Mm-hmm.

Honestly, I haven't felt this clear in a really long time.

I'm thinking I might go and check out a few local art galleries,

see if there might be a place where I can actually fit in here.

- Yes! - That's amazing.

I made something for you.

I hereby give you a new baptism certificate.

Oh!

Look at you. Yes! Yes!

- I love it. Thank you. - So sweet.

I'll put it somewhere safe for you.

I just...

I just wanna thank all of you for being here today,

and for loving me for me.

This has truly been one of the most joyous days of my life.

- To Desiree. - To Desiree.

All right. To my daughter.

To our daughter.

Des, I'm so happy for you.

And you've inspired me to believe that I deserve to be happy, too.

James isn't just my friend.

He is my kind,

smart, loving,

and handsome... boyfriend.

I love you.

Look at Louis!

Kicking the closet door open like he's Bruce Leroy!

So, does your boyfriend want some cake?

Oh, yes, he does.

Oh!

- Let us eat cake! - Yes!

All right now!

Thanks for bringing Opal.

She wouldn't have missed it.

Me either.

You and Opal, you're...

special to me.

About last night, I owe you an apology. I'm sorry.

And since today is kind of a do-over for me,

I was thinking maybe we could have one, too.

Dad!

Let's go! Bye, Des.

Gotta go.

Thanks for stopping by Dairy Queen.

Coming out makes me hungry.

Louis, I can't believe you didn't tell me you're still in the closet.

But I came out.

You can't just come out for me. You have to do that for yourself.

I did do it for me. And for you. For us.

Consider it a combo platter.

You came out to your family and your friends, and look, that's great,

but what about your church?

The rest of your community? You ready to tell them?

Listen, you are at the beginning of a road that I went down ages ago.

I'm sorry.

Come in!

Hey, baby. Are you okay?

No. James broke up with me.

Aww. Baby, I'm so sorry.

Wanna come in and sit and talk to your mama about it?

Not tonight. I just wanted you to know.

Well, I love you baby.

Always have, always will, no matter what.

You try to get some rest, okay?

Love you, Mama.

Goodnight, baby.

Why you invite that boy in here to sit and talk?

I'm standing here in my Fruit of the Looms and whatnot.

Now my back is stiff, too.

Oh, shut up. You know your back ain't hurting cause you standing.

Okay, he's in the shower. Make a run for it.

Oh, no, these knees don't run no more. But I can scamper with the best of 'em.

- Then scamper! Scamper, you fool! - I'm scampering, I'm scampering!

And take these with you!

Can we talk?

So what you said earlier, about us starting over. Did you mean it?

'Cause I wanna hold your hand.

I wanna dance with you in a crowded room,

I want you to show up at my door anytime, all the time.

I wanna be on the same side of the door with you, I don't...

Any door scenario is fine with me, I...

Hey!

Gavin?

- Gavin? - Gavin?

What the fuck?