Original subtitles

The following program is brought to you in living color

on NBC.

Hey, Hop Sing.

Hello, Little Joe, Mr. Hoss.

Reckon you're just about all set, huh?

Pretty quick now.

Just think, three week, no pot, no pan,

- nobody late for meals. - Yeah.

Well, you're gonna be cooking for yourself, ain't ya?

Hop Sing like somebody appreciate Hop Sing cooking.

He's got a point.

No, that ain't exactly what I meant.

I mean, you're gonna have to be washing pans and pots

and dishes and all that anyhow, ain't ya?

Only Hop Sing pan.

This gold pan, too.

Don't have to wash gold pan.

Only wash the gold.

Hop Sing, you're just wasting your time.

All you're gonna do is end up with a handful of blisters.

And believe me, you're talking to the blister king of Nevada.

Maybe you look in wrong place.

Now, wait a minute, Hop Sing.

You may be the best cook in Nevada, but you're no miner.

You don't know where to find gold.

Hop Sing look where people find gold.

Many mine in Miracle Creek.

Ah, Hop Sing, them old mines have been mined out years ago.

You're just wasting your time prospecting down there.

Maybe so. Many men, if they turn one more shovel of dirt,

they find gold again.

Hop Sing going to turn one more shovel full of dirt.

- Good luck. - Thank you.

Come on! Hyah!

Three weeks.

Three weeks?

Hey, who's gonna... Who's gonna do all the cooking?

Me?

Well, why not? You do all the eating.

Is a miner name Hop Sing

Gonna find gold

May become the blister king

Mr. Hoss wrong.

Hop Sing not only miner on Miracle Creek.

Here, boy.

Hey.

Hey, you. What you doing?

Hello, little friend.

Hop Sing good cook, huh?

Huh?

Good morning, missy.

My name Hop Sing.

What your name?

I live on Ponderosa.

Where you live?

Ponderosa is the biggest ranch in Nevada.

Maybe biggest in whole United States.

Hop Sing number one cook on Ponderosa.

Best cook in Nevada.

Hop Sing miner, too.

Cheep, cheep, cheep.

Hey, blue jay,

tell missy Hop Sing cook supper pretty quick.

Hello, little friend.

Hello.

Missy?

No need be afraid.

You welcome.

Blue jay, no like Chinese song?

No hurt Hop Sing feeling.

Hop Sing no like your song, either.

Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep.

Leaf make very good boat.

In China, Hop Sing sail many leaf boat.

Time to wash up, missy.

Supper pretty quick.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, missy.

Use soap. Wash your neck.

Wash ears.

For you.

Hop Sing fix supper pretty quick.

Best cook in Nevada not best cook today.

Even champion cook make mess.

Eat before supper get cold, missy.

Missy? Please stay.

Thank you for bucket.

Gold...

Gold. Gold!

Hop Sing number one miner!

Thank you.

Oh, very pretty.

You let Hop Sing look.

Missy? Come back.

Missy?

Happy to see you.

Come.

Come.

Sit down.

Eat supper before it get cold.

Oh, not so fast.

You swallow too fast, you not get taste of good food.

Hop Sing live on Ponderosa.

Where you live?

Why you not talk to Hop Sing?

Where you live before you come here?

You have pretty locket.

Where you get it?

What your name?

Missy.

Missy?

Missy what?

Just Missy.

Just Missy?

Missy.

Cold wind outside.

Come in. Come in.

Come on.

Sit by fire.

Keep warm.

More coffee, Missy?

No, Hop Sing.

Hop Sing. What kind of a name is that?

Chinese name.

What's Chinese?

Hop Sing.

Me, Chinese.

Hop Sing come from China, across the ocean, long time ago.

What's the ocean?

Ocean is, uh, water. Salt water.

Far, far away.

China is big country. Very big.

Hop Sing get on sailing ship in China.

Very high masts...

Many sail.

China boy sleep below.

Ocean very rough.

Ship make it very hard.

Hop Sing get very sick.

In the morning, Hop Sing go on deck.

See nothing but water, far as can see.

One whole month.

Water...

Water...

Water.

Hop Sing is China boy.

China boy, Chinese...

All the same.

Hop Sing come on Asia Queen.

Long, long time ago.

You come here all alone.

Why?

Hop Sing number one cook on Ponderosa.

Every year number one cook get time off after round-up.

Last three year, Hop Sing lose money in Fan Tan House.

This year, Hop Sing go prospecting.

Number one cook.

Number one cook burn meat.

Number one time.

Where's your wife?

Hop Sing not married.

Why?

Hop Sing China boy, been here long time,

never have seen one Chinese girl.

You know, Missy...

Until now, you very hard to talk to.

Just like trying to catch moonbeam in the hand.

Trying to catch moonbeam in your hand.

Oh, that's pretty, Hop Sing.

Morning, Missy.

Morning.

No.

Use soap like you tell me.

Missy right.

Hop Sing forget.

Wash behind your ears and your neck, hard.

Why'd you make mud?

Mud?

You know, with the pan and the dirt?

Oh.

That's for gold. Like your locket.

Hop Sing wash dirt away.

Gold is heavy, sink to bottom of pan.

Dirt all wash away, gold is on bottom.

Ah.

Not every time, though.

That's a pretty bird.

Blue jay.

Why?

Why what?

Why blue jay?

That's his name, blue jay.

Like my name, Hop Sing.

Like my name, Missy.

Missy what?

Just Missy.

Blue jay's gone.

I'm going to go find him.

You wash good.

Mmm, this sure is good.

Got any more eggs?

Eggs all gone.

You gonna make flapjacks?

Flour all gone yesterday.

Meat gone. Bacon gone. Everything gone.

Well, I guess only thing to do,

I go back Ponderosa, get more grub.

You're gonna go? You're gonna leave me?

I promise you, I not go long time.

I be back soon.

Something bother Missy?

Why you so sad?

You're gonna leave and never come back.

Hop Sing come back real quick.

That ironclad promise.

Next time, you come with me to Ponderosa.

Meet Mr. Ben Cartwright, he number one boss.

He be very glad to see you.

You don't worry, Mi... Missy?

Missy?

Missy?

Biscuits. Biscuits.

Bis-cu-its. Biscuits.

- What are you making now? - Oh, I'm making some biscuits.

Oh, I can hardly wait.

I know how to make them. It's just that I want to see

- how these other fellas do it. - Oh, sure.

You'd be surprised how many kinds of biscuits there are.

There's drop biscuits and griddle biscuits,

- and all sorts of... - Drop biscuits?

Must be like those pancakes you made this morning,

you drop one and it breaks the plate.

I admit, them was a little tough,

but I ain't at my best that early in the morning.

- Mmm. - Two cups of flour.

Milk.

- Hey, did you hear that? - Huh? What?

I heard a noise in the storeroom.

Huh, it's probably a mouse.

Don't you measure any of that stuff?

I just put it in there till it gets thick.

- Oh. - Now, let's see.

Two teaspoons of tat... tartra...

Tartrate, tartr... What the deuce is tartrate?

Hey, that's an awful big mouse. I ought to take a look.

Hey, Hop Sing. Come on in.

- Hello, Little Joe. - Good to see you.

What are you doing back so early?

I come back for some more grub.

Hey, Hop Sing, am I glad to see you.

Hop Sing not glad to see messy kitchen.

Them dishes, I was gonna clean them up later.

But hey, how 'bout while you're here, fixing us some biscuits

and some fried chicken, and creamed gravy

and some of that good stuff, huh?

- Where Mr. Cartwright? - He's in Virginia City.

The food's better there.

Little Joe, here is list of thing Hop Sing take from storehouse.

You take out of my pay when I come back.

Well, I thought you took enough stuff to last you

for three weeks the first time.

Enough for one, not for two.

Hey, found another prospector, huh?

Oh, meet very special friend.

Have you found any gold?

Ooh. Gold.

Hey! Yeah.

Hey, that's not bad, you know it?

Hey, look at that. Wow.

It's not too bad.

Better than losing pay at the Fan Tan House.

Good stuff, yeah.

Hey, how about a couple of pies while you're here, huh?

Hop Sing got to go now. I see you when I come back.

- All right, good luck. - One pie?

Dadburnit, I oughta asked him while he was here about that tater... Tatera...

Tartrate. Tartrate.

All you had to do was just take a look on the baking powder can.

- Baking powder? - Mmm-hmm.

How'd you know that?

I looked it up in your cookbook, it's right there.

- Yeah? - I found it the other day

when I was finding out how the other fellas make biscuits.

Yeah?

Baking powder.

What do you know about that?

Two teaspoons.

Very good. Two teaspoons...

Number one cook.

Missy!

I didn't think you'd come back.

Hop Sing promise Missy it be quick trip.

If Hop Sing not come back, where Missy go?

Some other place.

Where you come from before you come here?

Yonder side of the hill.

It's a long way from here.

You have a family?

- Yeah. - How many?

Ma and Pa.

Family not know where Missy is?

Missy run away. Why?

I didn't run away. I just took a long walk.

Why?

China boy leave China...

Why?

To see new place.

But we talk about Missy now,

not Hop Sing.

When Missy go home?

I don't want to go home.

I want to stay here. I like it here.

Hop Sing like it here, too.

Like, not like, no matter.

Ten more day, vacation over.

I have to go back to Ponderosa, become number one cook.

Burn meat.

Not burn meat, just cook very well done.

Missy talk pretty good now.

Maybe so pretty quick Missy talk as good as Hop Sing.

Maybe so.

Maybe so.

Here.

Wash.

Not just hands, not just face, all over.

Put on clean clothes. You understand?

You like it?

Missy very pretty.

Missy's a China girl now.

Hop Sing's got a China girl wife.

Hop Sing's got Missy.

Huh.

Mr. Cartwright? Mr. Cartwright?

Over here, Hop Sing.

Oh, Mr. Cartwright. Wait till you hear.

You struck it rich?

No, no, no, no, no. Hop Sing give up prospecting.

Hop Sing going to be married.

Married?

Surprise, huh?

Oh...

Oh, yes. I certainly am.

Hop Sing very happy man.

After married, Hop Sing no longer lonely.

Wh... Where you going?

Hop Sing have to go tell Mr. Hoss and Little Joe...

Wait, wait... Come on back... Wait a minute, now.

Who... Who's the girl? I mean, where'd you meet her?

Miracle Creek, at the mine.

She pretty girl. You like her.

Oh, I'm sure I would. I...

Uh, when do I get to meet her?

Right now, as soon as you get out of chair and come outside.

'Cause Missy want to meet number one boss of Ponderosa.

Missy?

Missy?

Missy?

Missy, Hop Sing think maybe you run away again.

Come, I want you meet Mr. Ben Cartwright.

Number one boss, Mr. Cartwright, this Missy, bride-to-be.

Well, Missy?

Shake hand with boss.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Just like I say, she very pretty girl.

Yes, she's a very pretty girl, Hop Sing. I...

Well, no point in standing outside.

Why don't we go inside the house?

Missy not talk much to stranger.

But by and by, she know you better, she chatter like a blue jay.

I've been to Miracle Creek many times.

I never met anyone there by the name of Hamilton.

Has your family lived there a long time?

Not Miracle Creek.

On the other side of the mountain.

Oh, I see.

Well, if you'll excuse me,

I'll see how Hop Sing is coming along with the coffee.

- Coffee ready in a minute. - Good.

Hoss tracks. Empty cookie jar.

Mr. Hoss been here.

Hop Sing, um...

You haven't met, uh, Missy's people, have you?

You don't know them?

No people, just Missy.

She was, uh... She was alone when you met her?

All alone, very hungry.

After wedding, Missy help Hop Sing in kitchen.

You get two cook for the price of one.

Big bargain.

Is that what Missy wants?

Yes, just what Missy want.

Excuse me.

Oh.

Watch pot, no boil.

Don't watch, it boil over.

Missy like Ponderosa.

Ah...

We have coffee and then we go Virginia City.

Then we get license...

Then we get married.

Hop Sing, um...

It may not be quite as simple as that.

You see, there are laws regulating marriages, and, uh...

The license may be a problem.

Oh, why problem?

Hop Sing man, Missy woman.

Well...

It's a little more complicated than that.

You see, the, uh...

Well, yours would be a...

An interracial marriage. Ch...

Chinese and Caucasian.

Well, the law specifically prohibits such marriages.

You make joke.

Mr. Cartwright, you make joke.

I'm afraid it's true, Hop Sing.

Why? Hop Sing good as any ranch hand.

Ranch hand get married.

Why not Hop Sing?

The law forbids it.

Why they pass law against Hop Sing?

Oh, it's not against you or Missy,

it's against all interracial marriages.

Mr. Cartwright...

You ever make mistake?

Yes, I've made my share.

Then maybe you make mistake about law.

You lend us buckboard, we go to Virginia City,

we see lawyer, we find out.

Well, I think you ought to do that.

But... I don't think you should take Missy with you.

You keep buckboard. We walk!

No, take the buckboard. I'll...

I'll write a note to Judge Hill for you...

Don't need note. Hop Sing know Judge Hill.

Whoa.

No. Too many people.

Please take me back to the mine.

Must talk to judge, Missy.

No reason to be afraid.

Can have seat, please?

Be little while, Missy.

Pretty soon, everything fine.

The language is very clear.

Interracial marriage,

between Caucasians and Chinese is prohibited by law.

You mean we no can get license?

You cannot.

Hop Sing, I've... I've known you for a long time.

As Ben Cartwright's guest, I've eaten many of your fine meals.

Believe me, I don't want you to get into trouble.

You've got to give this up.

Hop Sing no give up.

We get married without license. Chinese marriage.

That's not a wise idea.

If you get married in the United States, you'll both go to prison.

- Missy, too? - Missy, too.

I'm sorry, Hop Sing.

Someday maybe the laws will be changed.

Change in time to help Hop Sing and Missy?

Hop Sing no care about law.

Hop Sing find a way. Come, Missy.

Come, Missy.

What do you got to say for yourself, Sam?

That coolie was chasing a white girl.

Hop Sing, you...

Ben, you wanna press charges?

Sam, you and you, I don't wanna see anymore.

Now, get gone.

That clear enough for the rest of you?

Well, move!

Missy?

Missy gone.

Come on, we'll try and find her.

No.

Hop Sing find Missy one time...

Hop Sing find Missy again.

Mr. Cartwright, you lend me money for pack outfit?

Sure.

I'm sorry.

Missy?

Missy!

Little friend...

Missy gone.

No come back.

Missy!

Glad to see you.

- Oh, I'm glad to see you. - Sit down.

Hop Sing fix you some supper.

No, I'm not hungry.

Are you hurt?

No, Hop Sing fine.

Oh, hello, little friend.

Virginia City... very bad idea.

So many people.

Always people.

Some not too very good.

I still wanna be your wife.

You hear what judge say.

We get married...

We go to jail.

Well, we could go to China and get married.

We could go to China, across a big ocean,

and we could get married.

Maybe so.

Sell the horse...

Take stage to Sacramento,

boat to San Francisco.

Hop Sing can work for cousin in San Francisco.

Earn enough money to buy ticket, go to China.

Sacramento?

San Francisco?

Very big.

Many people.

Just like Virginia City.

China, big place, too.

Many people...

Everywhere.

Chinese people... are like Hop Sing?

Some.

Some like men in Virginia City.

People same everywhere.

Some good, some bad.

Well, maybe it would be better not to go away.

Maybe we'd better stay here.

Missy... people come here.

Maybe not for long while, maybe next minute.

Well, when they come, we just hide.

We no can hide like little friend in hole.

Missy take long walk find this place.

Maybe now, time for Missy to take long walk home...

To Mama, Papa.

Yeah. You come with me.

You have no trouble to find this place from Virginia City?

No trouble.

You can find way home?

Yeah.

You come.

You come.

No.

Number one cook belong at Ponderosa.

No other place.

Hop Sing saddle horses.

Time for Missy to go home.

No.

Goodbye, Missy.

Hop Sing...

Missy wants to stay with you.

No.

Hop Sing no want Missy here.

Go home.

Go home!

Go home.

Go on!

Go on!

Apple pie, fried chicken for Mr. Hoss.

Angel cake for Little Joe.

Mashed potatoes for Jamie...

And what can I do for number one boss of Ponderosa?

Just a cup of your good coffee.

Cup in cupboard, coffee on stove.

Help yourself.

I know it won't do much good...

But I just want you to know how sorry we all are.

Why sorry?

Missy gone home. Hop Sing back at Ponderosa.

No law broken.

Oh, Mr. Hoss hot biscuits.

Missy happy,

Hop Sing happy...

Then people and law spoil everything.

Not first time Hop Sing been kicked and punched.

For Hop Sing it's no matter.

For Missy...

It's very bad.

Missy say she want to stay.

Hop Sing tell her go home.

Hop Sing say he no want her here.

Hop Sing...

Very big liar.