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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:10,067 The following program is brought to you in living color on NBC. 2 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:32,228 โ™ช He stirred but lightly 3 00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:37,564 โ™ช Father came runnin' with a two-barreled gun 4 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:43,007 โ™ช Bullets were hummin' Now I'm on the run 5 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:48,943 โ™ช A travelin' man I like the life of a... 6 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,316 Whoa, whoa. 7 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,754 Peace, brothers. Love one another. 8 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,551 How'd you know we was brothers? 9 00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,820 - I beg pardon, brother? - How did you know we were brothers? 10 00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:01,961 LeRoy. 11 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:06,589 Why, we're all brothers in the eyes of heaven, aren't we? 12 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:12,601 Oh. Hallelujah. Blessed by the peacemakers. 13 00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:24,316 I fear you gentlemen might be under a misapprehension. 14 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:27,717 I mean you no harm. I... I come in peace. 15 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:32,121 Just a poor wayfarin' stranger travelin' through this vale of tears, 16 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,659 spreadin' the word. 17 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,763 - Praise be. - You a preacher man? 18 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:38,092 Uh, pardon, brother? 19 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,995 Are you a preacher man? 20 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,030 Why, it all depends on your needs, brother. 21 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:48,267 I can quote you chapter, verse, phrase and line if it brings you comfort. 22 00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:51,276 Ain't nothin' in there but dirty shirts and bibles, Red. 23 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:54,006 You gentlemen are welcome to one, with my compliments. 24 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:55,839 A bible, that is. 25 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,350 We're welcome to everything you got, mister. 26 00:01:58,485 --> 00:01:59,578 Oh, now, wait. 27 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,487 It's comin' up Easter week, my busiest season. You can't just take my... 28 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,594 Say something appropriate for an epitaph, mister. 29 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:09,822 Why would you shoot a... a humble peddler? 30 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,866 'Cause we're the Gaskell brothers, that's why, and you seen our faces. 31 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,402 Gaskell? Gaskell? 32 00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:18,732 Well, I've heard of the Daltons and the Jameses, 33 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,534 but I don't think I've ever heard of you. 34 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:24,076 That's because we're new in the west and we just begun getting famous. 35 00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:26,203 But you're gonna be hearing a lot about us. 36 00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:28,178 All right, Red, make him dead. 37 00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:34,487 Now, wait a minute. If you make me dead, who's gonna make you famous? 38 00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:36,419 Oh. 39 00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:40,857 It's Gaskell with two Ls. 40 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,100 Wish you didn't hit him so hard, Red. 41 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,405 You dented my new hat. 42 00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:15,282 Whoa. 43 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,262 Benjamin Cartwright. 44 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:29,069 Mr. Benjamin Cartwright? 45 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:32,104 - Ma'am. - I be a miss. Miss Charity Moffet. 46 00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:36,040 - Oh. Yes, miss. - Call me friend. 47 00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:39,977 I was informed thou dealt in cattle and I'd be interested in speaking business. 48 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:43,379 Well, yes, I have a fair-sized herd. 49 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,349 Now, were you interested in buying or selling? 50 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:46,485 Buying. 51 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,782 I pay thee cash on the barrelhead, 52 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,824 or, if thou prefer, a bank draft and a reference. 53 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,790 I have a letter from the Bishop of Boston. 54 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,361 - Well... - And mine own word. 55 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,828 How much livestock do you have in mind? 56 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,325 The Lord has been good to me. 57 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:04,666 I have a generous portion of land with lots of room for livestock, 58 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:08,367 the lambs I now have and the ones I expect in the near future. 59 00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:11,034 You... You keep sheep? 60 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,079 I keep lambs. 61 00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,307 Little lost lambs of the shepherd. 62 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,679 - Children. - Children? 63 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,551 - You have children? - 18. 64 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,923 And more welcome. Heaven willing. 65 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,660 18 children? Well... 66 00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:33,392 Dost thou have any issue, Friend Cartwright? 67 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,002 Yes, I... I have three sons. 68 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,439 How fortunate thy sons be. 69 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,839 None of my flock has a father. They're orphans. 70 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:44,877 I'm sorry. 71 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,378 I run a school and keep house for them. 72 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:51,074 Oh. Oh! 73 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:54,052 Well, I'd be glad to help you any way I can. 74 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,787 Now, do you want these steers for market? 75 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:59,148 I'm afraid we've misunderstood each other. 76 00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,124 I want these steers for milk. 77 00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:05,631 Well... 78 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,644 Hey, Red, hold it. 79 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,455 I told you, we ain't ready for no bank jobs yet. 80 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,923 No, I mean this town, it's a mistake. 81 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,925 You said the same thing about Salt Lake City. 82 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:38,395 Everett was right. Salt Lake City was a mistake. 83 00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:40,523 Them Mormons and their barter system. 84 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,627 There's no money in robbin' people don't use cash. 85 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:45,137 Hey, guys, can we keep walkin'? 86 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,434 My feet are fit to kill me when we stand still. 87 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,566 I told you them dude's shoes was too small for you 88 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,789 when you had all that trouble wrenchin' them off him. 89 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,107 But it seemed awful wasteful, 90 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,086 him lyin' there with a brand-new pair of shoes. 91 00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:58,447 And you guys takin' all the good stuff, his chimin' pocket watch, 92 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,851 his elk's tooth cufflinks, his solid gold cigar cutter. 93 00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,684 What solid gold? 94 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,315 Whoever heard of a bible salesman havin' anything solid gold? 95 00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:09,258 - Yeah. - It's only plated. 96 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,024 What about them nice valises? 97 00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,190 We given you the dude's new luggage, didn't we? 98 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,201 That ain't no luggage. That's his sample cases. 99 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,999 I tell you what, I'll trade you all the bibles in here 100 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,698 for his elk's tooth cufflinks. 101 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,503 All right, enough yammerin'. 102 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,238 Them bibles are gonna come in handy. 103 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,299 We can sweet-tongue our way into anywhere we want 104 00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,247 with them good books under our arms. 105 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,182 No one's gonna recognize the kindly bible drummers 106 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:38,258 as the notorious Gaskell brothers obeying the laws of the scriptures. 107 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,520 How do you figure that? 108 00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:44,782 Don't it say the Lord helps them who helps themselves? 109 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:45,991 - Yeah. - Don't it say that? 110 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,395 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 111 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:49,401 Yeah. 112 00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:51,835 We're gonna help ourselves to Virginia City. 113 00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:07,787 Oh, I wanna tell you, Charley, she had the prettiest ankles you ever did see. 114 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:11,119 So I went over to her and I said, "How would you like to do the Virginia reel?" 115 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:15,058 She said, "Well, I'm new in these parts, and you'll have to show me how." 116 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,587 So I took her out there on the floor 117 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,132 and everybody moved back to give us a little room. 118 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,359 I spun her round so hard, 119 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,403 her shoes and her tortoiseshell comb flew up in the hayloft. 120 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:30,041 Joe, if you could spin a rope like you can spin a story, 121 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,010 you'd be the champion calf-tier of the universe. 122 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,866 Is that so? You wait and see who's got the prettiest filly on his arm 123 00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,144 at the dance Saturday night. 124 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:41,186 I don't know whether I'll have time to take a look-see or not. 125 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,881 Wells Fargo's waitin' for their wagon. 126 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,984 Puttin' these heavy-duty wheels on is gonna eat into my social hours. 127 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,029 What's the big hurry? Can't it wait till Monday? 128 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:53,691 To hear them tell it, they got two silver stampin' mills in Carson 129 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:56,803 that are just gonna be standin' there until the shipment rolls. 130 00:08:56,936 --> 00:09:00,065 Those big dogs ought to keep the wagon from saggin' and draggin'. 131 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,317 Haven't seen a rig like this 132 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,419 since they shipped all that bank bullion up to Sacramento. 133 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,443 Yeah. 134 00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:06,174 Oh, howdy. 135 00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:10,113 Peace, brothers. Peace. Let's all love one another. 136 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,685 Good morning. Anything we can do to help you? 137 00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:15,721 Yeah, save your souls. It's all there in the good book. 138 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,789 From the original sin to... 139 00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,932 - A little hot for you, brother? - Nope. 140 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,160 Just don't take me too long to examine a horseshoe. 141 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,843 Hallelujah. Amen. 142 00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:48,086 - Hallelujah, brother. - Amen! 143 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,985 Oh, it smarts. 144 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,649 Of course it smarts, stupid! 145 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:57,124 When I said see what you can pick up at the horse barn, I didn't mean... 146 00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:01,632 Don't you know the difference between a hot horseshoe and a cold one? 147 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,760 - I do now. - You do now. 148 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,532 - But I did use my head. - How? 149 00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,250 I picked up the horseshoe with my left hand. 150 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,186 - With your left hand? - My gun hand is quick as ever. 151 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:14,045 - If you let me use a gun. - When you're ready. When you're ready. 152 00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:18,113 This mornin' was no total loss. 153 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,449 I picked something else up at the stable that seemed very interesting. 154 00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,023 What, LeRoy? What? 155 00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,493 The blacksmith was putting extra-heavy-duty wheels 156 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,959 on a Wells Fargo wagon. 157 00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:32,991 And he said that the silver stampin' mills was waitin' for the shipment. 158 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:37,070 Now, ain't silver pretty heavy in big chunks? 159 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,038 Yeah. 160 00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:46,972 Yeah. 161 00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:50,916 300 head of prime beef 162 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,451 for the Central Pacific railroad crews at Point Summit, 163 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:54,952 Colonel Boudin commanding. 164 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,088 Check. 165 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:59,192 250 pack horses for the 13th Cavalry at Ford Folsom, 166 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,452 Captain Ryder commanding. 167 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:01,593 Check. 168 00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,924 And one head of gentle milk for the Schuyler Vineyards, 169 00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:05,554 Miss Moffet commanding. 170 00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,326 Check. 171 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,868 One head of gentle mil... 172 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,869 Did I say one head of gentle milk? 173 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,701 Yes, you sure did. 174 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,969 I wrote that order up myself. Miss Charity Moffet. 175 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,773 At the old Viscaya Winery, you know, on the old trail to Carson. 176 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,193 That old place has been deserted 177 00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,325 ever since they built the new road through the mountains. 178 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,148 Yeah, but this Miss Moffet, she's a spinster lady, 179 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,486 Quaker from down east, she turned the place into a home. 180 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,352 - Ah. - For her children. 181 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,021 - Spinster lady with children? - Mm-hm. 18 of 'em. 182 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:41,692 Of practically every age and race and color in God's rainbow. 183 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,767 Orphans, Hoss. Orphans. 184 00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:48,907 Oh. 185 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,204 Miss Moffet runs a kind of church school for 'em. 186 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:55,213 Oh, I see. That would account for... One head of gentle milk would be a... 187 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:58,409 A nice gentle milk cow with a kind face. 188 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:03,990 Oh, no charge. Let's call it a contribution to Miss Charity. 189 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,350 Yeah. Very good. 190 00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:14,298 Ain't no use moonin', Sarah. I'm gonna miss you too. 191 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,699 It ain't like we'll never see each other again. 192 00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:20,204 I'll bet you two old girls will get along like a hand in a glove. 193 00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:26,203 I'll find thee. 194 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,408 Ah! Almost caught thee. 195 00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:00,637 Oh, my... 196 00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:06,211 Whoever thou art, thou hast a kind face. 197 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,849 - Howdy, ma'am. - Thou wouldst be...? 198 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,014 Hoss Cartwright, ma'am. 199 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,888 I'm deliverin' one head of milk cow 200 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,326 to your mother or teacher or whatever you call her. 201 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,462 Who? 202 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:20,863 The nice old Quaker lady that's kind of in charge of this herd. 203 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,494 - Miss Charity Moffet? - Yeah. 204 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,234 - You? - The old Quaker lady. 205 00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:32,004 - Thank thee for the nice. - Yeah. You sure don't look it, ma'am. 206 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:36,378 I mean old, not nice. I mean not not nice. 207 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,109 This here's Sarah. 208 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:41,449 Children, this be Sarah, and good friend Hoss. 209 00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:44,955 - Let us give thanks. - Thank you. 210 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:49,395 All right, children, show Sarah to her quarters. 211 00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,797 Old Sarah's a good old cow, ma'am. 212 00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:02,568 She'll give you what she's got as long as you handle her properly. 213 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:05,304 - The Lord will provide, Friend Hoss. - Yes'm. 214 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,437 He'll find it a heap easier to provide 215 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,412 as long as whoever milks her sits on her left. 216 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:10,549 Ah. 217 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,028 If you ever need a man around here, ma'am, just give me a holler. 218 00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:15,078 Thank you, Friend Hoss. 219 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:17,213 Oh, there is one little thing. 220 00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:21,150 If you wouldn't mind stepping into the house for me. 221 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,294 Yes'm. 222 00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,130 It is a small request, Friend Hoss, 223 00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:33,865 one that will not cost thee money nor take unduly of thy time. 224 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:35,872 Ma'am, I'll be happy to help. 225 00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:39,069 Our regular custodian, Friend Jonathan, has illness in his family 226 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,908 and has had to return to Boston. 227 00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:44,108 I expect he will be absented for some spell. 228 00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:47,652 Most certainly he will not be here this Easter morning. 229 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:50,416 Easter. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am. 230 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,548 Wouldst thou be available? 231 00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:55,161 Oh, of course, ma'am. I'd be happy to take you to church. 232 00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:56,922 You and the whole kit and caboodle. 233 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,225 We observe Easter right here. 234 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:03,632 I was hoping that thou couldst carry on in the capacity of Friend Jonathan. 235 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:10,236 Yeah, well, what exactly is the capacity of Friend Jonathan? 236 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:15,271 He helped me to sustain the traditional beliefs of the children. 237 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,610 Starting last year. 238 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,947 Well, I wouldn't wanna disrupt an old tradition like that. 239 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:21,645 I'll be happy to help out, ma'am. 240 00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:24,815 Oh, Friend Hoss, thou art a gift from heaven. 241 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,862 I shall count on thy service, then, at sunrise? 242 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,364 Service? 243 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,436 Ma'am, I ain't... I ain't never been much of a religious fanatic. 244 00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,971 I... I don't even know my New Testament from my Old. 245 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,541 But I... I reckon I could read something on it. 246 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,871 - Sunrise, you say? - Just before dawn. 247 00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:47,378 - Yeah. - About 4:55. 248 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,482 Dressed traditionally, of course. 249 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:53,518 Traditionally? 250 00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:57,479 Was this Friend Jonathan, 251 00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,457 was he a Catholic, a Baptist, or a Christian, or what? 252 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,629 - A rabbit. - Oh, a rabbit. 253 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:05,695 A rabbit? 254 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,267 Friend Jonathan played the Easter Bunny. 255 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:13,537 Yes, ma'am, but Friend Hoss ain't never been no Easter Bunny before. 256 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:17,166 All thou has to do is to hide the colored eggs for the orphans' egg hunt, 257 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,676 as is the custom. 258 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,007 Oh, well, if that's all there is to it, 259 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,413 I'll see you Sunday morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 260 00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:29,352 Friend Hoss, I would like to see thee some time before then 261 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,752 when we can be alone. 262 00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:34,485 Really? 263 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,890 For the fitting. 264 00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:39,464 Fitting? 265 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,926 What... What sort of fitting? 266 00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:46,062 For the traditional costume. 267 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:51,041 Oh, ma'am, you don't... I ain't gonna wear a... a... 268 00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,880 And even the little...? 269 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,350 It be the only part of Friend Jonathan's outfit 270 00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:03,081 that will fit thee without alteration. 271 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:08,422 And as thou thyself promised, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 272 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:12,731 Yeah. 273 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,157 Pardon, sir. 274 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,693 I have here what every lonely soldier boy should have. 275 00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:44,661 Can I sit down? Thank you. 276 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,593 Take a look at the edges on these pages. 277 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,068 Solid gold. 278 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:55,674 Do you have any idea what kind of a steady hand it takes 279 00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:59,643 to gold-leaf each and every teensy-weensy edge on that page? 280 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:03,580 I bet a soldier boy like you gets to patrol or gang a gold shipment, 281 00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,480 government payrolls an' all? 282 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:11,319 You look the kind Uncle Sam would pick. Cool hand, keen eye, closed mouth. 283 00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:15,519 Me and my brother have often said how much we admire you boys in blue 284 00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:18,358 who stand guard over those payroll shipments, 285 00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:20,659 through the long nights and the darkness, 286 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,531 and the snow and the rain and the sleet, 287 00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:26,696 and all for a lousy 17 dollars a month. 288 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,899 Yeah, while them civilians back east 289 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:32,170 sit on your porch, swingin' with your best girl, 290 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,914 laughin' at you for bein' so honest. 291 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,847 Me and my brother has always said if we come into any money, 292 00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:43,013 we'd share it with the soldier boy who helped us get it. 293 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,419 The good book says money changers is evil. 294 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,428 Steal ye from the rich and give ye to the poor. 295 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:54,091 Robin Hood. Chapter 12, Verse 10. 296 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,413 So me and Everett's in the Silver Dollar, 297 00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:12,108 which ain't much of a place to sell bibles, incidentally. 298 00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:15,415 This Wells Fargo driver's liftin' a few, and he promised the barkeep 299 00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:19,150 that he'd howdy the barkeep's old lady in Carson City. 300 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:20,623 Carson City? 301 00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:23,088 Hey, let me see. Carson City. 302 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,664 They got a big silver stamping mill there. 303 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:29,066 And new wheels means there'll be a heavy shipment of silver 304 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:32,365 bouncing through the high pass to Carson. 305 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,804 Yeah, but there was a patrol of horse soldiers 306 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,433 dustin' themselves off in the saloon on the way back to Carson. 307 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:41,672 That new road is just crawlin' with Johnny Bluecoats. 308 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:46,584 Hey, and nobody's gonna be watchin' the old road 309 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:49,279 when we take possession of the silver shipment. 310 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:53,626 Well, why wouldn't the Wells Fargo, then, take... take the short way? 311 00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:58,163 We're gonna arrange it so that the long way is the only way. 312 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,063 Here's what I got in mind. 313 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,432 So then this greenhorn says, 314 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:09,531 "No, it just doesn't take me very long to examine a horseshoe, that's all." 315 00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:11,315 Then he gives us a couple more hallelujahs 316 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:14,380 and hotfoots it down the street like a rabbit with his tail on fire. 317 00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:22,453 - Hey, don't you think that's funny? - A rabbit with its tail on fire? 318 00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:23,749 - Yeah. - No, I don't. 319 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,120 Don't use up all that good smell, neither. 320 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,390 You know, brother, sometimes I really don't understand you. 321 00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,361 It's not Saturday and you're takin' a bath. 322 00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:35,043 You say you're not gonna see a girl, but you wanna use my bay rum. 323 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,787 You say you're not goin' anywhere, but you're goin' through all this. 324 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:38,983 Mr. Hoss, please? 325 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:41,472 Yeah, come on in and join the crowd, Hop Sing. 326 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:46,074 Mr. Hoss, Hop Sing not sure how many egg you order. 327 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:48,113 How many egg you order? 328 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,807 Oh, about... about a hundred ought to be enough. 329 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,211 A hundred eggs? 330 00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:55,549 Sure gonna make awful big omelet. Awful big. 331 00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,987 I don't want 'em for an omelet. Just hard-boil 'em. 332 00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,116 And hop to it, Hop Sing. 333 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,486 Oh, you gotta be kiddin'. 334 00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:06,599 I'll bet three to one even you couldn't eat a hundred eggs at one sitting. 335 00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:09,861 These eggs ain't for eatin', Little Joe. They're for deliverin'. 336 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:13,666 Oh, you goin' into the hard-boiled-egg business, door to door? 337 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,376 I'm going to give 'em, not sell 'em. 338 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:20,036 Oh, any money in that? 339 00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:23,775 Joseph, I'm givin' these eggs to a bunch of little orphan kids. 340 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:28,050 Oh, that's real nice. How come you got 'em all hard-boiled? 341 00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:31,589 Some kids like 'em soft-boiled, some like 'em sunny side up. 342 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:35,058 How would you go about dying a fried egg? 343 00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:37,694 Well, who'd wanna dye a fried egg? 344 00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:44,135 Joseph, what you don't know about old traditional Easter costumes. 345 00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:46,671 Costumes? Don't you mean Easter customs? 346 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:50,538 Well, that's... that's what I said, didn't I? Dag-rabbit. 347 00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:54,807 Nabbit. Dag... Dagnabbit. 348 00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:05,623 Hey, Miss Charity, I ain't much of one to go against tradition or nothin', 349 00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:08,193 but if the Easter Bunny always hides the eggs 350 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,887 just before sunrise while it's still dark, 351 00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:13,693 then how come he can't hide 'em at midnight the night before? 352 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:14,833 Oh, Friend Hoss. 353 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:21,507 Yeah. Forgot about the coyotes and the blue jays. They'd eat 'em up all right. 354 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,577 What if he... What if he just hid 'em, like, an hour before sunup? 355 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:28,211 I mean, that way the Easter Bunny 356 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:31,146 wouldn't have to be loppy-lopping around in a rabbit suit 357 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:33,809 and the kids couldn't see him 'cause it'd still be dark, 358 00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:35,819 and you wouldn't be put to all this trouble. 359 00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,954 I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Must be the pins in your mouth. 360 00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:46,730 Friend Hoss, the Easter Bunny arrives at dawn 361 00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:49,597 because the children look forward to getting up at dawn, 362 00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:51,465 and each one wants to be the first 363 00:22:51,604 --> 00:22:54,096 to spy the Easter Bunny hiding his goodies. 364 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,539 Yeah. 365 00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:59,543 Friend Jonathan was a much smaller rabbit. 366 00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:02,944 He used to perform in his long flannel underdrawers. 367 00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:06,519 - If thou wouldst prefer... - No, no, no, no, no. 368 00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:07,847 Thou art the tailor, 369 00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,980 and thy will be done by dawn's early light. 370 00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:32,276 I know vanity be sinful, but I cannot help thinking thou art beautiful. 371 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,349 Yeah, it... fits like a glove. 372 00:23:36,482 --> 00:23:39,782 Uh, ma'am, one question. How do I get in and out of it? 373 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:43,253 Thou unbuttons thyself. And vice versa. 374 00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:47,417 Yeah, but the buttons are in the rear. I can't get to 'em to vice or versa. 375 00:23:47,559 --> 00:23:50,688 Thou wilt have to depend on the assistance of someone else, 376 00:23:50,829 --> 00:23:52,525 like thy father or thy brother. 377 00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:55,328 It might even be amusing to them. 378 00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:58,926 Yeah. Yeah, you can count on that, ma'am. 379 00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:01,597 One final touch. 380 00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:07,135 Turn around. 381 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:16,016 There. How does that feel? 382 00:24:16,155 --> 00:24:18,522 Oh, that feels just fine, ma'am. 383 00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:21,036 Do you mind if I step out and get a little breath of fresh air? 384 00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:23,325 - I'll be right back. - The children are studying. 385 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:25,795 - Do not let them see thee. - Oh, no, ma'am. No, ma'am. 386 00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:27,923 I'll... I'll be right back. 387 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,821 Well, gentlemen. Come on, boys, put your back into it. 388 00:24:56,462 --> 00:24:58,931 What are you, mice or men? 389 00:25:02,067 --> 00:25:04,593 I never thought holding up a stagecoach was such a heavy job. 390 00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:06,763 Digging graves in Flatbush was a cinch easier. 391 00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:09,397 Yeah? And where'd you ever strike gold in Flatbush? 392 00:25:09,541 --> 00:25:10,634 Yeah. 393 00:25:10,776 --> 00:25:13,803 Hey, I thought that Fargo wagon was carryin' only silver. 394 00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:17,974 Look, all business has got to start somewhere. Success... 395 00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:20,985 Why don't I go round the front and see what's holdin' it up? 396 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,487 Will you shut up when I'm talkin'? 397 00:25:23,622 --> 00:25:25,989 Now, success takes hard work. 398 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:27,354 Why you standin' there, LeRoy? 399 00:25:27,493 --> 00:25:31,089 Go round the front and see what's hanging up this rock. Go on. 400 00:25:31,897 --> 00:25:35,527 Success takes hard work, boys. You work hard, you get somewhere. 401 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:38,364 You sit here, you do nothin', nothin' happens. You understand? 402 00:25:38,504 --> 00:25:41,338 Do something. Then something'll happen. All right? 403 00:25:45,978 --> 00:25:49,415 All right! Try it now! 404 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,540 Try it now. Try it now. Go ahead. 405 00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:14,670 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 406 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,080 Whaa! 407 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:39,921 Oh... LeRoy. 408 00:26:40,065 --> 00:26:41,590 Yeah, Red? 409 00:26:41,733 --> 00:26:43,429 - LeRoy? - LeRoy. 410 00:26:44,670 --> 00:26:47,868 Boy, that was close. I could have been killed. 411 00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:51,806 - What are you doin'? - Just once. Let me kill him just once. 412 00:26:55,747 --> 00:26:57,443 Oh, Red, come on! 413 00:28:24,102 --> 00:28:27,004 Candy. It's all right. It's me. It's Hoss. It's all right. 414 00:28:27,139 --> 00:28:28,659 I'm gonna let you breathe in a minute, 415 00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:31,107 but you gotta promise you ain't gonna tell a soul about this, 416 00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:33,202 even Pa or Little Joe, you hear? 417 00:28:36,315 --> 00:28:37,315 I don't understand. 418 00:28:37,449 --> 00:28:40,214 Well, you don't have to. All I want you to do is button me up in back. 419 00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:42,116 In back of what? 420 00:28:42,254 --> 00:28:46,055 I'll let you see in a minute. But first I'm gonna tell you one more thing. 421 00:28:46,191 --> 00:28:49,031 If you laugh at me, Candy, I'll break every bone in your body, you hear? 422 00:29:04,109 --> 00:29:06,510 You know, when I was little, I didn't believe in you. 423 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,844 Very funny. 424 00:29:55,694 --> 00:29:56,694 Hoss? 425 00:29:57,929 --> 00:29:59,795 That you? 426 00:30:02,434 --> 00:30:05,632 Hi, Pa. What are you doin' up this time of the mornin'? 427 00:30:05,771 --> 00:30:07,171 Huh? What time is it? 428 00:30:07,839 --> 00:30:09,205 It's... It's Easter mornin'. 429 00:30:09,341 --> 00:30:10,969 Yeah, I know, I know. What time is it? 430 00:30:11,109 --> 00:30:13,635 Oh, I'd say roughly around 4:22. 431 00:30:13,779 --> 00:30:15,042 4:22? 432 00:30:15,180 --> 00:30:18,241 Honest. 4:22. 433 00:30:18,383 --> 00:30:22,320 Wow. I'm late. I gotta get crackin', Pa. I'm going to a sunrise. 434 00:30:22,454 --> 00:30:25,253 What are you bundled up in that mackinaw for? 435 00:30:25,390 --> 00:30:26,619 I just threw it on. 436 00:30:26,758 --> 00:30:29,592 You know how drafty these March mornings get around Easter. 437 00:30:29,728 --> 00:30:32,163 I gotta get hoppin', Pa... ridin'. 438 00:30:32,297 --> 00:30:35,699 I'll see thee... thou... you. I'll see you, Pa. 439 00:30:40,005 --> 00:30:42,372 Hey, it's really not that cold out, you know. 440 00:30:43,442 --> 00:30:46,708 Oh, hey, Pa, what are you doin' up this hour of the morning? 441 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,609 Are you riding out before breakfast too? 442 00:30:48,747 --> 00:30:51,046 No. I just got in. I gotta get dressed. 443 00:30:52,384 --> 00:30:53,613 Well, you are dressed. 444 00:30:53,752 --> 00:30:56,272 No, these are my Saturday nights. I gotta put on my Sunday best. 445 00:30:56,321 --> 00:30:58,415 Takin' a cute little gal to church this afternoon. 446 00:30:58,557 --> 00:31:01,220 This after... What's your rush? 447 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:05,024 I gotta catch the early Wells Fargo. She... She lives in Carson City. 448 00:31:06,832 --> 00:31:09,427 What's all the noise? What you doing up this time of morning? 449 00:31:09,568 --> 00:31:10,934 Hop Sing no can sleep. 450 00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:47,366 Hey! What's the matter with you? 451 00:31:48,807 --> 00:31:50,742 All right, let's see some chips fly. 452 00:31:50,876 --> 00:31:52,435 Come on, LeRoy, whack it. 453 00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:54,017 That stage is gonna be here and gone 454 00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:57,015 before you're halfway through cuttin' that little old tree. 455 00:32:02,988 --> 00:32:04,650 Hey, timber! 456 00:32:04,790 --> 00:32:06,986 Come on, step away. Let it fall across the road. 457 00:32:07,125 --> 00:32:08,457 Oh, no. 458 00:32:15,734 --> 00:32:18,067 All right, let's go. 459 00:32:20,672 --> 00:32:24,200 Sorry about your good suit, Joe, but we gotta raise dust 460 00:32:24,342 --> 00:32:27,403 if we're gonna make any time draggin' all that extra weight behind us. 461 00:32:27,546 --> 00:32:28,673 Yeah. 462 00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:35,817 Well, what do I know about choppin' trees? 463 00:32:35,954 --> 00:32:37,286 How many trees grow in Brooklyn? 464 00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:39,414 Come on. Come on. 465 00:32:44,529 --> 00:32:48,125 We'll put the tree across the road and you go watch the horses. 466 00:32:48,266 --> 00:32:49,734 Why? Where are they goin'? 467 00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:52,269 They're gonna wait for us while we knock off the stagecoach. 468 00:32:52,404 --> 00:32:54,964 And you're gonna watch 'em wait and stay out of trouble. 469 00:32:55,106 --> 00:32:57,769 Well, what happens if you get into trouble, even without me? 470 00:32:57,909 --> 00:33:00,936 If we get in trouble without you, we ain't in much trouble. 471 00:33:01,079 --> 00:33:03,480 And while you're waitin', read a bible. 472 00:33:15,527 --> 00:33:18,019 Good old faithful, trustful friend. 473 00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:20,603 You ain't gonna run off and leave old Hoss this time, are you? 474 00:33:20,632 --> 00:33:22,828 Good old pony, you. 475 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:28,807 You old good-for-nothin', flop-eared, 476 00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:32,240 tray-back, rotten dang nag, you! 477 00:33:43,121 --> 00:33:45,556 Chicken. Ain't you ever seen a rabbit before? 478 00:35:30,161 --> 00:35:32,562 All right, where you hidin'? 479 00:35:32,697 --> 00:35:34,689 Hey, Red, what was that? 480 00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:37,569 Just for a wild guess, I'd say a gunshot. 481 00:35:37,702 --> 00:35:39,694 Hey, but LeRoy's up there. 482 00:35:42,841 --> 00:35:45,401 All right, where did he get the gun? 483 00:35:46,444 --> 00:35:49,573 I think he might have found my rifle. I left it in my saddle whatchamacallit. 484 00:35:49,714 --> 00:35:52,047 Then you go back and see which leg he shot himself in. 485 00:35:52,183 --> 00:35:55,017 - Oh... - Go on. Go on. 486 00:36:04,796 --> 00:36:08,756 All right, LeRoy. All right. What happened? 487 00:36:12,370 --> 00:36:14,362 What happened, LeRoy? 488 00:36:16,074 --> 00:36:18,737 - It was a rabbit. - What rabbit? 489 00:36:18,877 --> 00:36:21,369 The biggest rabbit I ever seen in the whole world. 490 00:36:22,814 --> 00:36:26,842 When it popped up and scared all the horses, I drew down on it. 491 00:36:26,985 --> 00:36:30,046 But when I cocked the rifle, it turned around and it jumped me, 492 00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:32,248 and it took away the rifle off of me. 493 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:35,585 You let a rabbit take a gun off of ya? 494 00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:37,719 Well, you would too, Fred. 495 00:36:37,862 --> 00:36:39,694 I mean, it was strong, honest. 496 00:36:39,831 --> 00:36:41,493 But we heard a shot. 497 00:36:41,633 --> 00:36:43,534 That's when I... when I jumped the rabbit. 498 00:36:43,668 --> 00:36:46,695 And it turned around and it... and it... and it hit me with my own gun. 499 00:36:46,838 --> 00:36:48,636 And that's when the rifle went off. 500 00:36:48,773 --> 00:36:50,533 It's a good thing I was wearing my lucky hat, 501 00:36:50,608 --> 00:36:52,600 otherwise I could have been killed. 502 00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:56,709 You do believe me, don't you, Fred? 503 00:36:56,848 --> 00:37:01,252 Well, the horses are gone and your hat is dented, that's for sure. 504 00:37:02,654 --> 00:37:05,920 LeRoy, where's my rifle? 505 00:37:17,368 --> 00:37:19,360 I'm sorry I bent it, Fred. 506 00:37:27,545 --> 00:37:30,071 This big strong rabbit, LeRoy, 507 00:37:31,182 --> 00:37:34,050 would you say he was... he was big as a grizzle bear? 508 00:37:35,553 --> 00:37:37,249 Yes, he was big as a grizzle bear. 509 00:37:37,388 --> 00:37:40,517 And would you say he was strong as a grizzle? 510 00:37:41,526 --> 00:37:44,257 Yeah, he was strong as a grizzle. 511 00:37:44,395 --> 00:37:46,023 And he was mean as a grizzle. 512 00:37:46,164 --> 00:37:49,657 Then what makes you think he wasn't no grizzle? 513 00:37:51,402 --> 00:37:52,665 'Cause he had white fur. 514 00:37:55,406 --> 00:37:57,671 Polar bears got white fur. 515 00:37:57,809 --> 00:38:00,369 He had a pink nose. 516 00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:04,173 Maybe he got into a fight. 517 00:38:04,315 --> 00:38:06,307 With a grizzle bear. 518 00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:09,177 Then your grizzle bear... 519 00:38:09,921 --> 00:38:13,414 pulled my polar bear by the ears, 520 00:38:13,558 --> 00:38:15,550 'cause they was stretched out a yard. 521 00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:28,806 Whoa. 522 00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,837 Well, Joe, I hope your little Carson cutie 523 00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,911 doesn't get too hot under her Easter bonnet, 524 00:38:34,045 --> 00:38:37,140 but it begins to look like you ain't gonna get her to the church on time. 525 00:38:37,282 --> 00:38:39,012 I guess there's no gettin' around it, huh? 526 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:42,211 Not that rock. We're gonna have to take the long cut. 527 00:38:42,353 --> 00:38:43,582 Back up. Back! 528 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:47,019 Up and at 'em, kiddies. 529 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:49,650 Friend Sun will soon be peeping over the hill. 530 00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:52,487 It's Easter morning. 531 00:38:53,698 --> 00:38:55,963 You get up, you lazy lump. 532 00:38:56,868 --> 00:39:00,168 Now, if we hurry, we might spy Friend Rabbit hopping about, 533 00:39:00,305 --> 00:39:01,500 hiding his Easter goodies. 534 00:39:08,947 --> 00:39:11,883 Yes, it's sure enough bent. 535 00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:14,383 Are you sure you didn't hit yourself over the head with it? 536 00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:18,217 It was the rabbit, Red. I swear to you on our father's grave. 537 00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:19,915 We never had no father. 538 00:39:25,597 --> 00:39:26,621 Shh! 539 00:39:30,068 --> 00:39:31,400 Up there. 540 00:39:31,536 --> 00:39:32,799 What? What? 541 00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:36,068 Big ears. Pink and fuzzy. 542 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:38,870 - So? - And a yard long. 543 00:39:41,045 --> 00:39:42,775 Hey, yeah, I think maybe I seen 'em too. 544 00:39:43,815 --> 00:39:46,080 You see what I mean, Red? 545 00:39:51,089 --> 00:39:52,921 Are you guys off your trolley? 546 00:39:53,625 --> 00:39:55,560 You pumpernickels got buck fever. 547 00:39:55,693 --> 00:39:58,162 You'd think this was the first stage heist we ever pulled. 548 00:39:58,296 --> 00:39:59,889 Well, it is, ain't it? 549 00:40:00,031 --> 00:40:01,727 Stupid, stupid, stupid. 550 00:40:12,543 --> 00:40:15,035 All right, put the bandanas over your kissers. 551 00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:18,645 Get behind the rocks. 552 00:40:20,318 --> 00:40:22,810 Don't shoot until they get out of the wagon and move the tree. 553 00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:25,514 - I don't have anything to shoot with. - Good. 554 00:40:26,190 --> 00:40:27,453 I ain't neither. 555 00:40:31,062 --> 00:40:32,360 Whoa! 556 00:40:39,671 --> 00:40:41,139 Did you ever have one of them days 557 00:40:41,272 --> 00:40:44,003 when every fly-bit, mangy, clotty, smutched-up... 558 00:40:44,142 --> 00:40:47,010 Oh, take it easy, take it easy. Don't ruin your good disposition. 559 00:40:47,145 --> 00:40:50,240 Besides, cussin' ain't gonna move that tree. Old sweat is gonna move it. 560 00:40:50,381 --> 00:40:52,373 Guess you're right. 561 00:41:03,594 --> 00:41:08,123 All right, men, now, stay cool and don't move until I say. 562 00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:20,830 - Tell where that shot came from? - No. 563 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,176 All right, who did that? 564 00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:25,647 Not me. 565 00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:36,355 Well, we can now. 566 00:41:45,703 --> 00:41:47,695 Make every shot count. 567 00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:52,474 Red, I don't have a gun. 568 00:41:52,610 --> 00:41:54,704 Why don't you let me help? 569 00:41:54,846 --> 00:41:58,578 Poke your head up and draw their fire. Make them show themselves. 570 00:41:58,716 --> 00:42:00,309 Oh, Red. 571 00:42:00,451 --> 00:42:02,113 What are you worried about? 572 00:42:02,253 --> 00:42:03,998 Do you know what kind of a shot it would take 573 00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:06,719 to hit a little head like yours from way down there? 574 00:42:13,931 --> 00:42:15,229 That kind of shot. 575 00:42:21,439 --> 00:42:24,034 Hey, that come from the back of us. 576 00:42:26,511 --> 00:42:28,776 Hey, Red, that's him, the monster rabbit. 577 00:42:28,913 --> 00:42:31,075 Never mind that. Give me some more shells. 578 00:42:40,591 --> 00:42:42,321 Come on, give me some shells. 579 00:42:54,906 --> 00:42:56,465 Give me the shells. 580 00:43:06,918 --> 00:43:09,478 If they're shootin' at us, they're the worst shots in the world. 581 00:43:09,620 --> 00:43:11,612 Beats anything I ever saw. 582 00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:13,757 Come on. 583 00:43:28,172 --> 00:43:31,700 Oh. Oh! 584 00:43:37,648 --> 00:43:39,082 All right, hold it. 585 00:43:39,650 --> 00:43:40,674 Drop the guns. 586 00:43:43,488 --> 00:43:44,488 Drop it! 587 00:43:47,658 --> 00:43:48,717 Let's go. Move it. 588 00:43:49,861 --> 00:43:51,901 You three, you come with me. You got a tree to move. 589 00:44:11,582 --> 00:44:14,643 Whoa, boy. Whoa, boy. 590 00:44:17,722 --> 00:44:19,418 Whoa, boy. 591 00:44:19,557 --> 00:44:22,254 See what a nice egg the Easter Bunny's got for you? 592 00:44:23,528 --> 00:44:26,225 Huh? Whoa, boy. Whoa, boy. 593 00:44:28,232 --> 00:44:29,791 Whoa, boy. 594 00:44:29,934 --> 00:44:31,903 Whoa, boy. 595 00:44:32,036 --> 00:44:33,902 Whoa, boy. 596 00:44:34,038 --> 00:44:37,406 Nice horsey. Nice horsey. 597 00:44:57,895 --> 00:44:59,864 Two against four. 598 00:44:59,997 --> 00:45:01,363 It would have been an even fight 599 00:45:01,499 --> 00:45:05,231 if that rabbit didn't spook our horses and jump us from behind. 600 00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:09,807 Yeah, big as a grizzle bear, with mean eyes and a little pink nose. 601 00:45:09,941 --> 00:45:12,877 Will you quit embarrassin' me with that loony story? 602 00:45:13,010 --> 00:45:15,104 All right, that's far enough. Come on, let's go. 603 00:45:15,246 --> 00:45:17,374 Come on, move it up! Come on, let's go. 604 00:45:22,954 --> 00:45:25,514 All right, everybody, get in. You can ride on the freight. 605 00:45:25,656 --> 00:45:27,488 It's a long, bumpy ride to Carson City. 606 00:45:27,625 --> 00:45:31,221 We get to sit with the silver you're lugging to the stamping mill. 607 00:45:31,362 --> 00:45:35,390 You know, the ones you said was standing idle waitin' for the shipment. 608 00:45:35,533 --> 00:45:38,970 They weren't waitin' for silver. They were waitin' for gears. 609 00:45:41,405 --> 00:45:42,405 Gears? 610 00:45:44,976 --> 00:45:47,002 Gears. 611 00:45:50,881 --> 00:45:52,611 All right, let's go. Climb in. 612 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:54,150 All right, let's go. 613 00:45:54,285 --> 00:45:55,446 Gears. 614 00:45:57,788 --> 00:45:58,788 Let's move it. 615 00:45:58,923 --> 00:46:02,360 Yes, children, I know you be impatient because the Easter Bunny was late, 616 00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:04,257 but he had so much territory to cover. 617 00:46:04,395 --> 00:46:07,365 But we did finally catch a glimpse of him, didn't we, scurrying about? 618 00:46:07,498 --> 00:46:09,524 - Yes, Miss Charity. - All right, then. 619 00:46:09,667 --> 00:46:12,865 Let's see if we can find where Friend Rabbit hid his goodies. 620 00:46:30,921 --> 00:46:33,550 Whoa, you gnarly stupid nag! 621 00:46:33,691 --> 00:46:36,627 Whoa! Whoa! Stupid! 622 00:46:36,761 --> 00:46:38,423 - I found one! - I found one! 623 00:46:38,562 --> 00:46:41,031 - Me too! - Wonderful. Let's see what colors. 624 00:46:41,165 --> 00:46:42,189 - Black. - Black. 625 00:46:42,333 --> 00:46:45,997 - Me too. - Black Easter eggs? 626 00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:51,700 No, Miss Charity, books. Friend Rabbit brought us all new black books. 627 00:46:51,842 --> 00:46:53,174 Is it a good book? 628 00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:56,213 Indeed, Jennifer. It be the good book. 629 00:46:56,347 --> 00:46:58,407 One for each and all of us. 630 00:46:58,549 --> 00:47:01,678 Miss Charity, Miss Charity! You know what? 631 00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:03,310 - What, Randall? - The road. 632 00:47:03,454 --> 00:47:06,424 I think I seen the Easter Bunny lipperty-lopping down it. 633 00:47:06,557 --> 00:47:09,026 - But I'm not sure. - Oh? Why? 634 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:12,221 Well, he was lipperty-lopping on the back of a buckin' horse. 635 00:47:12,363 --> 00:47:14,355 Can rabbits say "whoa, stupid"? 636 00:47:15,399 --> 00:47:19,234 Who knows what miracles heaven works, its blessings to conceal? 637 00:47:19,370 --> 00:47:21,362 Yeah, who knows? 638 00:47:27,111 --> 00:47:29,410 Boy, that black stallion you brought back with you 639 00:47:29,547 --> 00:47:32,278 sure is a handsome, high-spirited animal. 640 00:47:32,416 --> 00:47:33,416 What did you pay for him? 641 00:47:35,219 --> 00:47:39,247 Well, I... I didn't have to pay nothin' for him exactly, Pa. 642 00:47:39,390 --> 00:47:42,189 You see, I traded for him. That's what I done. 643 00:47:42,326 --> 00:47:44,318 I traded old Ned for him. 644 00:47:47,431 --> 00:47:50,299 You traded that skittish old hay-burner for that beauty? 645 00:47:53,604 --> 00:47:55,539 - Even up? - Well, not exactly even up. 646 00:47:55,673 --> 00:47:58,199 I had to throw in a few hard-boiled eggs. 647 00:48:02,046 --> 00:48:03,046 Oh. 648 00:48:04,148 --> 00:48:07,880 I tell you, Hoss, sometimes I think you were born with a lucky rabbit's foot. 649 00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:19,086 Have a carrot? 650 00:48:20,531 --> 00:48:21,760 I don't even like carrots. 51845

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