Original subtitles

The following program is brought to you in living color on NBC.

Did you ever notice, brother,

here we take turns cleaning out these water holes,

and for some unknown reason Candy always gets the messiest jobs?

Yeah. Just seems like some fellas never have no luck, don't it?

Yeah.

Come payday, there's gonna be some changes.

Changes? What kind of changes?

I'm gonna take myself into Virginia City,

and I'm gonna get me a brand-new set of clothes,

I mean hat, shirt, pants, boots, the works.

And it ain't gonna be work clothes either.

Oh.

And I'm gonna get myself a haircut

and a shave and a four-hour bath to get this mud out of my hide.

And I'm gonna get myself all dressed up and I'm goin' out among 'em.

Really have some high livin', huh?

Higher than the courthouse flagpole, brother.

Hey, you know, a fella can't do too much of that high livin' just on a dollar.

That's all you gonna have after you get through buyin' all them duds.

Oh, he's not gonna have that much.

See, I seem to recall Candy gettin' an advance from Pa on this month's wages.

Oops.

Not gonna have enough money for a new handkerchief,

let alone do any of that high livin'.

Right, I forgot.

Next month. Next month.

- Well, we'll see you next month. - Yeah.

There's gotta be an easier way to make a livin'.

You keep diggin'. You might strike it rich.

We'll see you, Candy.

Yeah.

Are you Mr. Canaday?

Yeah.

Did you know a Paiute named Billy Two Biscuit?

Paiute? Yeah, I know him.

Where were you the first week in April this year?

- What's that to you? - Could be very important.

First week of April... I don't know.

I was in Billy Biscuit's cabin. That's where I was.

The south slope of Squaw Mountain.

- How was he? - Hurtin'. He broke his leg.

You saved his life. You found him in a snowstorm with a broken leg.

You took him to his cabin, nursed him, fed him.

If you know all that, what are you askin' me for?

To make sure you're the right man.

Billy Two Biscuit died recently of snakebite.

He made you his sole heir. He left you his mining claim.

Poor Billy, poor Billy.

Now, I represent Nevada Mining Incorporated.

I'm here to make you one firm take-it-or-leave-it offer:

100,000 dollars, plus standard royalties,

for the right to develop and work the mine.

- 100,000 what? - Dollars.

50 thousand in cash,

50 thousand in shares in Beulah Land Sales and Development Corporation.

I have the cash with me.

You got something you want me to sign?

Yes, sir, I sure do. Here you are.

Right there, the bottom line.

- Here? - Right, that's it.

Right.

How long is it till dinner?

Oh, I don't know. About an hour or so, I guess.

Yay-ha-ha-ha!

Whoo!

Yippee!

Whoo-hoo!

High livin', here I come!

Yippee!

Whoo!

Goodbye, water hole! Get the champagne ready, boys.

I'm gonna take me a bath.

Whoo-hoo!

What do you think? Sunstroke?

Could be. Locoweed, maybe.

Whoo!

- Hey, buddy, you all right? - Yeah, I'm all right.

Have you ever seen a whole satchel full of money?

Look at that. Look at that.

Here. Here. Have a sample.

- Whoo! Come on! - That's real money.

Get the champagne ready, boys.

That... That's 500 dollars.

Still there.

Still real.

It's hard to believe.

I tell you, that Billy Two Biscuit sure must have thought a lot of you.

He was kind of a hermit, Joe. I...

Poor Bill, I don't think he knew anybody else.

What are you gonna do first, Candy?

The first thing I'm gonna do is I'm not gonna worry

about what I'm gonna do first.

I'm just gonna float and enjoy.

Yeah, I don't blame you. This Beulah Land Corporation, Candy...

Did Mr. Hornsby tell you anything about it?

Just that the stock certificates are in this bag, and I looked, and they are.

- That's all I know. - I was just wondering.

- I'd never heard of them. - I'll find out and let you know.

I want to say that every minute I've spent here has been a pure pleasure.

I imagine the biggest one was cleanin' out that water hole, huh?

Oh, yeah, that was fun.

Even that.

I don't quite know how to say this, but I'm in your debt.

Oh.

Oh, I am. I am, really.

If you ever feel the pinch for money,

all you have to do is whistle and I'll be glad to help.

Candy, thank you.

I'm gonna have a party, a big party.

Be a favor to me if you could spare Hoss and Joe to help with the plannin'.

Oh, well, if you think that Hoss and Joe are good at planning parties, of course.

- Can you leave now? - We're halfway there. Let's go.

- Let's go. - Hang on, millionaire.

Uh... Candy?

I forgot.

Come on, moneybags.

Extry! Cowboy inherits silver fortune! Read all about it!

Extry! Cowboy inherits silver fortune! Read all about it!

There he is. That's him!

Is it true? Did an Indian give you a million dollars?

- Not a million, but... - Let me see that paper.

Hey, yeah, it says right here, "A fortune estimated at one million dollars."

Mr. Canaday, I'm Harriet Caster. We've never really met.

We did once.

This is my daughter, Ruth.

We're having an open house Sunday afternoon at two.

Just good friends, good talk, good food. We'd be delighted if you'd join us.

- Well, I... I'd... - Good, good. We'll see you at two.

- Come along, dear. - Wanna be among the first.

Long had the feeling that you'd be a man of importance.

- Hmm? - H. Parker Smith, Mr. Canaday.

Spent my life in the world of finance.

Be a pleasure to serve as your investment counselor.

- Well... - My card, sir.

Gentlemen, Mr... Mr. Canaday has a lot of business to discuss.

- If you'll excuse us. - Mr. Canaday, come right in.

If you'll excuse us, gentlemen.

Excuse me, gentlemen. Mr. Williams, excuse me.

No, wait! Later, later, later.

You got popular all of a sudden. You don't look any different to me.

Well, he's a very important fella. You heard Mr. Smith.

Did you guys read the paper? I'm the newest millionaire in town.

I forgot, I forgot. How do you like it?

It's a little small, but it'll do for now.

- For now? - Yeah, for now.

Till I knock out a few walls or maybe build myself a brand-new one.

- I'm gonna do a lot of entertaining. - Oh, that's right. I almost forgot.

You're invited to Harriet Caster's tea party.

Puts you up there with the best of 'em.

It'll give me a chance to discuss my new stock holdings

with some of the rest of them millionaires.

You know, I didn't even know you knew Harriet Caster. Where'd you meet her?

Oh, Fourth of July parade. I told her she was standin' on my foot.

Oh, well, he really knows her, then.

40 miles of fine print in this thing.

Mr. Canaday? Mr. Canaday, it's the hotel manager.

- Mr. Canaday? - Price of fame.

It's the hotel manager, Mr. Canaday.

Just a minute. Just a minute. Later, later, later.

Compliments of the management.

Well, thank you, thank you. We're a little busy right now.

Oh, yes, of course.

I just wanted to assure you that myself and the staff are at your disposal,

stand ready to do anything at all

to make your stay worthwhile and enjoyable.

Special food and special...

Later, fellas. Later, later, later!

Phew!

Beulah Land Corporation.

Mmm. These are good.

They sell land. That makes sense.

Uh... ranches and farms in Beulah Valley, wherever that is.

Oh, doesn't it say where?

In Nevada, that's all it says.

Here, take a look.

Beulah Valley...

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it!

Hold it!

- Solid gold watches. - We're busy.

Come right in. Be our guest.

- Mr. Canaday? - No, ma'am.

That's him over there, the surrounded one.

Pretty.

Yeah, I was about to say the same thing.

I meant the money.

I'll just measure that arm right down the side...

Thank you very much, fellas, yes. Good day. Good day, gentlemen, ladies.

Phew!

I was gonna have one of those apples.

- I think I did buy a suit. - A suit?

When that tailor left here, he was talkin' about six.

Well, a man can use six suits.

That jewelry fella had some good-lookin' watches.

I saw a good-lookin' watcher watching your money.

The money. The money.

Where's the money?

Hey!

You lookin' for this?

Thanks, Joe.

Why don't you be smart, put it in the bank?

Now.

And then let's have a nice cold beer.

What d'you mean, beer? With your kind of money, I want champagne.

I'll take either.

You'll take both.

There you are, gentlemen.

Oh, it's your money. Virginia City's finest. What the heck?

- What's this? - Imported beer. The best.

Came all the way from Europe, right around the Horn.

Here you go, my friend.

It costs a little more,

but Mr. Canaday can sure afford it now that he's a millionaire.

- I'm not a millionaire, actually. - You ain't changed a bit, Candy.

Now, that's the good part.

You hit it big, but you're the same old Candy. Thank you.

You son of a gun, you.

All right, now, we've got the guest list. Virginia City is coming.

Now, what about... what about music, entertainment?

We're gonna have a lot of people.

It's gotta be a big band or they won't hear it.

Hey, how about the firemen's band?

They ain't very good, but they sure are loud.

Hey, they are. They're loud.

Yeah, all right. Make it two bands.

That way the folks won't have to stop dancin'

when the musicians are out gettin' a beer.

Very good, very good. Two bands, loud. I like that.

Howdy.

Now, what about food? Gotta have some good food.

- What do you like? - Well...

- Canaday? - Howdy.

- I think we'd better have... - Name's Hare. Jim Hare.

I own the Rocker H. Ranch.

Oh, I've heard of the brand, yeah.

Been building it for ten years.

Fighting Paiutes, nesters, rustlers.

Got a fair spread now. Gettin' bigger all the time.

That's great. If I wanna buy a ranch, I'll look you up.

- Do you think two is enough? - It's not for sale.

Three, huh?

What I'm here for, what's this Beulah Land Company?

Says here you're a major stockholder.

Yeah, that just happened. I haven't gotten into it yet.

I got a brother, Little Billy, lives in New York.

Got a wife and five kids.

He's doing fine, but he wants to come west.

So he sold his business and bought himself 200 acres of Beulah Valley.

Orchard land, with grass, water, roads, bridges.

Sounds like a good deal to me.

Where is Beulah Valley?

I been in Nevada 20 years, I never even heard of it.

Well, I don't know. But I'll find out.

If you wanna come by the hotel tomorrow, I'll tell you all about it.

- See me tomorrow at the hotel. - Yeah.

Here you are, Mr. Canaday. Finest watches in the world.

Solid gold nugget chains.

Hey, look.

I like that.

It's beautiful.

Bartender said it was down here somewhere.

It's a brand-new office, just opened yesterday.

Hey.

Anybody wanna know what time it is?

You told us four times in the last three minutes.

Hey, there it is. New sign.

What do you mean, you don't know? You work here.

I just started yesterday.

- Who does know? - Mr. Perry. But he isn't here.

- When will Perry be here? - Tomorrow.

He said he'd be here all day tomorrow.

Yeah, well, so will I.

You'd better have some answers by then too.

Gentlemen.

Why, you're Mr. Canaday. All that money, it must be wonderful.

When I find out, I'll let you know.

Right now I wanna know where Beulah Valley is.

Well, like I told that gentleman, I just started work here. I don't really know.

Mr. Perry did say it was east of here.

- So's New York. - And the Mississippi.

How far east?

He didn't tell me.

Well, I've ridden all over the eastern part of Nevada

and I never heard of no Beulah Valley.

Maybe we can find out at the courthouse.

My new watch says the courthouse is closed.

Let's go and have some more of that seasick beer.

- Hey, thanks. - Good day.

Ah.

- Ah. - Bring coffee now, yes?

No, later. Did you order breakfast?

Three breakfast.

Fried eggs, ham, toast, coffee.

- Is that all? - Plenty breakfast.

Ah Yee knows how much three men eat.

Maybe, but Ah Yee doesn't know Hoss Cartwright.

You been in there two hours splashin' around. When are you gettin' out?

Been in there long enough to grow fins.

I promised myself a long hot bath to get that water-hole mud out of my hide

and I'm just collectin'.

Go catch him double order of everything, boss.

- Right. - Who's that?

Oh, that's Ah Yee. I hired him this mornin'.

Hired for what?

I needed somebody to fetch and carry.

- Well, everybody needs one of those. - Of course.

We're gonna go fetch us some breakfast. You wanna come along?

No need. Breakfast's on its way up.

- Gee, it's nice to be rich, isn't it? - Ah, yes.

Mmm.

I just can't hardly stand to see good food going to waste.

We noticed.

Hey, here's one from an old friend of yours,

a fella named Billy Martingale.

Never heard of him.

Well, anyway, he wants to borrow 10,000 dollars from you.

- Hmm. - He's gonna pay it back, though.

Two dollars a week.

- That's all right. - Must come from a long lived family.

Here's one from a little girl I went to school with...

in a town I was never in.

Oh!

Here's a beauty.

You didn't go to school with this girl, but you know her real well.

You ever hear of a girl named Sally Simpson?

- No. - You don't know her?

Well, you're going to. You better show that to your lawyer.

Hey, here's a little girl who wants to marry me.

If I send 3,000 dollars, I don't have to come to the wedding.

I don't blame her.

Go away, please. Nobody home.

Go away, please. Nobody home.

Mr. Canaday, Atworth Perry. Beulah Land Development.

- I've got to talk to you. - Perry. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, let him in.

- Mr. Perry. - Mr. Canaday?

- Yes. Come in, come in, come in. - Nice to meet you.

This is Joe Cartwright, Hoss Cartwright, friends of mine.

- Cartwright, how are you? - Would you like some breakfast?

No, thank you very much. I was sorry to have missed you yesterday.

I always like to know our stockholders.

Especially when their holdings entitle them to a seat on the board.

- What? - The board of directors.

Your 5,000 shares entitle you handsomely.

May I change my mind and have a cup of coffee?

- Board of directors? - Yeah.

Coffee? Yes. Sit down, sit down. I'll get it for you.

- Thank you. - How do you take it?

- Just black, please. - Ain't that somethin'?

Yesterday the only seat he had was on board a horse.

That's how to succeed, though, hard work,

and a fella comin' along handin' you a satchel full of money.

You shall not go unrewarded, my friends.

Oh, thank you.

Look, I brought a little booklet that you might study at your leisure.

- Tells you all about the corporation. - Mmm. Thanks.

We're always on the lookout for capable young men, you know.

Have you ever built a bridge

or built a road or maybe dug a well?

- Yeah, all three. - Ought to see him clean a water hole.

- All three? Really? - Mm-hm.

Then you're my man. You're hired.

No, no, no, no.

Talk to me in a year or two,

because until then I'm gonna be doin' some restin'.

Well, I may have said it badly.

What I'm offering you is a position as vice president.

In charge of field operations.

Well, Atworth...

I'm trying to tell you that I've retired.

Well, loafing gets to be pretty hard work.

I think you'll find that out in a day or two.

Mm-mm. No, knowing him, I don't think so.

Speakin' of loafin', we better get back to the ranch.

Pa's gonna think we retired. Mr. Perry, pleasure to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, gentlemen. - Ah Yee, get their hats, huh?

- Beulah Valley? - Mm-hm.

- Where's it at? - Why, that's right next door to heaven.

Probably easier to show you than to tell you about it.

I'll be very happy to do that one of these days soon.

We've been livin' here for a long time. Just never heard of it, that's all.

Well, look, since your friends are leaving,

why don't you come with me and have a look at your new office?

My office? I didn't say I was gonna take that job.

You said you were gonna think about it.

You might as well have a look at your new office. Come on.

Vice president.

- Ah Yee, you got my hat? - Yeah, if it still fits.

Thank you.

Later, fellas, later, later.

Later, later, later.

Here he is!

Uh... You have fun now, you hear?

- Yeah, we'll see you, Candy. - Hey, wait.

I was just passing, Mr. Canaday. How nice to see you again.

Ruth is thinking of buying a Tennessee Walker

and she'd like to have your advice.

With the horses I've been ridin', I don't think I'd be much help,

but... I'd sure like to try.

Oh.

It's good to know that our new vice president has so many important friends.

I'll be in my office. Drop by first chance you get.

- Right. - I've got your suit ready.

Just take a look at these handmade beauties.

Pardon me, gentlemen. Mr. Canaday, we were discussing this, weren't we? Yes.

Most beautiful workmanship. They'll wear like iron.

- I'm trying to explain to this man... - Gibson, please...

Surprise.

Yeah.

Uh, gee, I'm glad you could come by.

Can I get you...? Oh, I see Ah Yee already got you.

Yes, he got me some tea. Won't you join me?

Yeah. Ah Yee?

I'm sorry, he... he stepped out.

He did what?

Stepped out. He went to get me some cakes, cookies.

You'd want me to have them, wouldn't you?

Oh, sure.

A whole lot of 'em if that's what you want.

Sit down.

I just came to say hello.

You know, I was surprised there wasn't many people in the hall.

Well, I think it's because I've already bought everything in town.

I've met millionaires before, but not like you.

- Is that a fact? - Yeah.

They were all old and fat and ugly. But you're not.

Well, I'm not old.

Or fat. Or bald.

And you're certainly not ugly.

Now that I've found you, I'm... I'm wondering what you're gonna do.

Oh, I just remembered, I've... I've gotta run an errand.

- Oh, this is my lucky day. - Why?

Well, I have nothing to do. I could go with you.

- What's all this? - One for each of you.

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

- Wow! - Do you like it?

- They are beautiful. - Like it? They're magnificent.

But why?

You got birthdays comin' up some time. Call them birthday presents.

Well, Candy, that's awfully nice of you.

But, you know, they're obviously very expensive saddles,

and, well... well, they're just too fine for working stockmen.

You don't wear working clothes to church. These are Sunday saddles.

Every man ought to have one.

In that case, there's nothing we can say except thank you.

- My pleasure. - Thank you very much, Candy.

- Thank you, buddy. - Thank you, Candy.

Hey, we got some fresh coffee inside. Why don't you and your friend come in?

Come on in.

Thank you, but we gotta be getting back.

Hey, Candy, did you ever find out where that Beulah Valley was?

Not yet, but I took the job.

I'm working for Beulah Corporation now, so I'll find out and let you know.

- Hey, you're vice president, huh? - That's what it says on the door.

- I'll see ya. - Hey, good luck.

- Yeah. - With everything.

- Thank you, Candy. - You bet. See ya.

Well, these are really magnificent saddles.

Is something bothering you?

Yeah.

Beulah Valley?

Yeah, Beulah Valley. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

If it's so beautiful and so marvelous, why has nobody ever heard of it?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- There's enough of 'em, ain't there? - Yeah.

"I hereby sell for one dollar..."

Boy, a lot of people sell ranches for a dollar.

Yeah. The dollar made it legal.

And then the seller didn't have to tell you what you was buyin' neither.

You sure of that?

- Course I'm sure. - Course I'm sure.

If you're so smart, how come we rode to four different county seats

before we finally came here where all the deed transactions are recorded?

It's a nice day for ridin'.

Besides, I didn't know there was such a place as this

till that fella in the saloon told me about it.

Now I'm beginning to think there ain't no such place as that Beulah Valley.

Well, it's probably just a new name.

What we're lookin' for is a transaction of a large piece of land

in the name of that Atworth Perry fella.

Yeah. I'm beginning to think he don't exist neither.

Atworth Perry.

"I do hereby sell for the sum of one dollar..."

Sections 21, 22, 24, 26, 27, and a lot of others.

- Yeah, you found it. - Township 12.

- Let's take a look at that map. - Yeah.

Right, Section 21, 22...

Ah, never mind the sections, little brother. We been there.

Yeah, we sure have.

Let's go.

- Thanks a lot. - Thank you, gentlemen.

Mr. Canaday. Mr. Canaday, I am certainly glad to see you.

I have some things that you really must see.

Now, I think that red and white would...

I think blue and gold would be much better.

- Pretty. - Red and white is much more effective.

Come into the dining room and I'll show you.

Yes, ma'am.

I know exactly where the band must go.

Over here all by yourself?

You have plenty of help planning your party.

- You don't need me. - Oh, yes, I do.

Mr. Canaday? Mr. Canaday, sorry to disturb you.

But I... I can't get those suits ready unless you come in for a fitting.

Uh, later.

I get the definite idea you don't like parties.

You're right. I don't.

- How about a picnic? - I like picnics.

I know a spot. I could have somebody hitch up the buggy.

We could go down by a little lake.

Well, what about Melody?

Let her find her own picnic.

I'll have the cook pack us a lunch.

Candy, wanna take a little ride with us?

Uh, later?

We wanna show you somethin', Candy. It's kind of important.

I think they're pretty serious about this.

You better go with them.

Well, I... I guess I have to.

But I'll see you later.

Where'd Mr. Canaday go?

Away.

What was it Jim Hare said his brother bought from the Beulah Corporation?

200 acres? Orchard land?

Grass, water, roads?

What's that got to do with this?

You're looking at Beulah Valley.

Yeah. Used to be called Starvation Flat. Mr. Perry changed the name of it.

- Are you sure? - We're sure. We looked it up.

Perry bought 15,000 acres of this paradise for Beulah Corporation.

What are you gonna do about it?

Wait a minute. Why look at me?

Why look at you? You're a stockholder and vice president.

Candy, people back east are spendin' every penny they got

buying up what they think is good orchard land.

They're movin' their whole families out here.

Beulah Valley's a lot closer to hell than it is to heaven.

Even the lizards can't grow out there.

Sand, alkali and rocks.

You couldn't grow anything but a dust storm on that land.

You know you're only partly right,

because water will make all the difference.

And the proof is right there in that flower pot.

Now, that's soil from Beulah Valley,

it's water and a little fertilizer, and it's a healthy plant.

But there's no water out there.

Death Valley's a garden spot compared to what you're selling.

It's a completely legal operation, yesterday, today and tomorrow.

We have not and will not break any laws.

You told Jim Hare's brother he was buying orchard land.

That's gotta be fraud.

Why don't you sit down, Mr. Canaday?

I think the time has come for me to tell you

some of the facts about corporate life.

I'm listenin'.

Beulah Land Development does not sell land to individuals

but only to the Beulah Land Development Company.

Now, that's a separate and... and individual entity.

That's a sales organization with offices in the major cities back east.

So they do the selling and they tell the lies.

Well, salesmen have been known to exaggerate.

But if Mr. Hare reads the contract he signed,

he'll find out that he got exactly what he paid for, 200 acres of land.

What about the roads and the good grass and the water?

Roads will be built, wells will be dug.

It's all part of our arrangement and our deal

with Beulah Land Development Corporation.

- When do you start? - We're in the planning stage right now.

As soon as our plans are completed,

why, we'll start assembling the equipment and the crews.

- When? - Well, that's hard to say.

Because our vice president in charge of field operations

has been much too busy to talk about it.

Me?

Yes, you.

I'm supposed to dig the wells and find the water?

That's right, Mr. Canaday.

But there's no water out there. You and I both know that.

Well, you may believe that if you like, but I have a little more faith.

Look, it's a dog-eat-dog world.

It's been that way since the dawn of time.

Do you know, the Romans even had a... a phrase for it:

caveat emptor, let the buyer beware.

There's gotta be a way to stop you.

Now, before you start bucking and kicking

and spending a lot of time and money on expensive lawyers,

you'd better stop and think about the stock that you own.

Could make you a very rich man.

Great fortunes are started just this way.

And remember...

it's perfectly legal.

Hi.

Well, what happened? What'd he say?

Let's have a beer first, huh? Ah Yee?

- Where's Ah Yee? - Gone. Fired. Hop Sing send him away.

He cheat you blind.

Make cumshaw by every merchant. 20 cent every dollar.

Then he double the bill.

This one he multiplied ten time.

Thanks, Hop Sing.

There's no beer. How about some real good whiskey?

I talked to Perry.

The Beulah operation is completely legal. The law can't touch it.

What are you gonna do?

If the law can't stop him, what can I do?

If they sell 15,000 acres of that desert,

a lot of people are gonna get hurt.

Mr. Perry said the Romans had a phrase for that: let the buyer beware.

He also said all I have to do is sit still and I'm gonna get very rich.

Somebody at the door.

Candy. Hi.

Can I come in?

Yeah, sure. Come on in.

Candy. You're just in time. Sit down.

I'm here because I'm in trouble. I need your help.

Well, sit down. Have something to eat. Tell us about it.

I've been tryin' to figure out a way to stop Perry.

I been havin' a lot of no luck.

The Beulah Land Corporation sells only to corporations outside the state.

- Is that the trouble? - That's right.

And they don't make any promises they can't keep. Other corporations do that.

Mm-hm.

Have some dumplings. Hop Sing really outdid himself.

Hop Sing, bring another plate out here.

I'm George Thurston.

- Is Ben Cartwright here? - Yes.

- George, come on in. - Oh, Ben.

- You're right on time. - I try to be.

You must be the Mr. Canaday that Ben mentioned in his telegram.

Thank you very much for coming.

- It's part of my job. - Sit down.

The legislators and the governor feel that the state land commissioner

should go where he's needed.

I have to tell you, Mr. Perry came to my attention two years ago.

A timber fraud.

He was sentenced to a year in jail but appealed and wiggled free.

I found him to be slippery, dishonest...

And a complete scoundrel.

Excuse my not knocking.

But a scoundrel, that's what you called me after the appeal.

- What are you doing here? - I heard you were in town.

Now, any documents that you might wanna see, I have in this portfolio.

There you are, Mr. Thurston.

He's much too helpful and much too happy,

but we might as well get on with it.

If there are any questions, I'll be...

Well, I'll ask 'em.

What is this?

Uh, that's the list of landowners.

And this?

Oh, that's the map of Beulah Valley.

Where is Beulah Valley?

Um, Beulah Valley is, or was, Starvation Flat.

Mr. Perry renamed it.

Here are the names and addresses.

Over 200 of them.

Men who bought acreage in that waste.

Yeah, not from me and not in Nevada.

They bought from corporations in the east.

George, I bought 200 acres right in the middle of Starvation Flat,

and I bought them right here in Nevada.

Oh, no, you didn't, because I didn't sell it to you.

But I did.

And I'm a vice president of Beulah Land Corporation.

You're fired.

I'm afraid it's a bit late for that, Mr. Perry.

George, I bought this land yesterday.

200 acres.

Well, well.

And what were you promised, Mr. Cartwright?

Oh, a lot of marvelous things.

Uh, deep wells,

sweet water,

fertile orchard land,

good grass.

And all in writing.

The sweetest words I ever heard.

I am not going to jail.

If you'll just take it very easy, nobody's going to get hurt.

George, wait.

We just happened to be passin' by the door out there

and saw this fella backin' out with a gun in his hand.

And how long were you out there just passing the door?

Ever since you came in. Pa thought it might be a good idea.

It was.

If you gentlemen just escort us,

I think we'll take a little walk down and say hello to the sheriff.

There you are, my friend.

- Where are your glasses? - Oh, no. No, no, not right now, Candy.

Some reporters are waiting downstairs to talk to George and me.

They want to know all about the Beulah Land Development Company.

The rise and decline.

Hurry back. There's a lot more of this.

- Ruth. - Oh, yes.

Giving away all that money, well, I think it was just wonderful.

It wasn't all that wonderful. I got the mining claim back.

Yeah.

- Hoss, some more champagne? - Yeah.

Hey, stop popping around like a bug in a bottle and relax, enjoy your party.

I will in a minute. Not right now.

He does have a mine and lots of credit.

Unlimited... or so they tell me.

Well, if you've got unlimited credit, how about some more champagne?

- Coming right up. - Right this way. That's Canaday.

- There he is, right there. - Thank you.

- Something I can do for you? - My credentials.

Howard Fiber, Bureau of Indian Affairs.

I understand you recently inherited a mining claim from Billy Two Biscuit,

a Paiute Indian, deceased.

Yeah, yeah, I... I sold it, but I just got it back.

My duty is to inform you

that all mining claims and properties do, under Paiute law,

honored and enforced by the United States Government

and the Bureau of Indian Affairs,

become the property of the Paiute tribe upon the death of said owner.

- I didn't know that. - You do now.

I've taken over the claim for the Paiute tribe.

Good day, sir.

Take it back. Take it back.

Well, it was a lot of fun while it lasted, folks, but the party's over.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you for immediate payment of your bill.

Six suits. I want my money.

Me first. Where's mine?

Gentlemen, I gave back the money, you see,

and the Indians just took back the mine.

- All I have is this... - Wait a minute.

Look out! That's my money.

Too bad, Candy.

It's been nice.

Maybe someday somebody'll give you another mine or something.

They missed one.

Let go, let go. Dammit, Jimpson.

Now, wait a minute! Some of that money's mine.

- You get your own! - It's mine!

That's funny, huh?

You know you have to pay for everything they break?

Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. Please. I gotta pay...

Please!

Jimpson, give me that money! 180 dollars he owes me.

He owes me 40 dollars!

- Give me that money! - It's not your money!

Come back here with that!

Get out of here!

He owes me that!

It's too bad.

You know, brother, that is one of the dirtiest water holes I ever have seen.

Filthy, filthy.

Come payday...

Uh, uh, uh. Some payday.

When you get all the rest of your bills paid back.

All right, some payday,

I'm gonna go into Virginia City and buy me that new suit of clothes.

You're gonna have some more of that high livin', huh?

Well, no, I've... I've had some of that, and it's hard work.

This time I'm gonna find a better way to go.

Hey, speaking of going, we better get back to the ranch.

Hey, what time is it? You still got that fancy gold watch of yours, don't you?