All language subtitles for Bonanza S11E11 Dead Wrong.DVDRip.NonHI.en.CBS

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So that's when Big
Jack turned tail and run.

There I was, boys, alone
in the middle of Main Street,

plumb surrounded by three of the
worst bounty hunters in the west.

Shoot their own kin for six
bits and a worn-out saddle.

And there I stood my ground.

And they was
a-comin', step by step,

movin' in for the kill.

I had my old double-barreled
flintlock stuck in my belt,

just waitin' for 'em
to make the move.

And sure enough, they did.

Boom! Boom!

And when the
smoke had all cleared,

all three of 'em was
stretched out in the street

colder than an icicle
on the end of your nose.

Ah, come on, Salty, how
could you kill three fellas

with only a double-barreled
flintlock pistol?

Well, if you wasn't so all fired
busy goin' no place, Bobby Dan,

a fella might get a chance
to finish what he's tellin' you.

Well, go on, finish it.

Oh, well, um... Oh, uh...

Oh, yeah, I waited till
two of 'em got in line,

one right behind the other.

And that big old bullet
went plumb through 'em both.

Salty, I bet you're the
biggest liar in Sunville.

Every time a paper comes to town
with the name of some outlaw fella in it,

you claim you know him.

Just like today, you read where
this Big Jack robs a bank in Silo

and you come up with
another humdinger.

- It's the truth.
- Hogwash.

We been listening to your stories for 15
years and we don't believe none of 'em.

Well, why do you listen to 'em?

'Cause we ain't got
nothin' else to do.

Huh.

What'll it be first, bank
draft, a bath or a beer?

Well, we can always
get a bath or a bank draft.

My sentiments exactly.

Hey, doll.

Can I get you a drink, honey?

Yeah.

Yeah, we'll have a beer,
a couple of beers, ma'am.

Coming right up, big feller.

You know how you was
calling me a liar and everything?

Guess who's sittin' right
over there? Go on, guess who.

- I don't know.
- Big Jack, that's who.

- Oh, stop it, will you?
- I'm telling you, that's Big Jack.

Then why don't you go
on over and say howdy?

- Oh, well...
- Go on.

Well, I would, but he'd probably
pretend he didn't know me

and him bein' embarrassed an'
all start runnin' out on me that way.

Well, there's only
one way to find out.

Go on.

Go on.

Come on. Fellas, fellas.

Go on.

Big Jack, long time no see.

- Huh?
- Oh, come on, Jack.

Don't pretend you
don't know old Salty.

I'm willin' to let
bygones be bygones.

I'll buy you a beer for
old times' sake, Jack.

Look, old timer, I think you've
mistook me for somebody else.

My name's Hoss Cartwright.

Oh, still usin' those
phony aliases, yeah?

You always was one
for picking funny names.

About time you
come to pay me a visit.

Look, I don't know if this is
some sort of a joke or what,

but I ain't that Big Jack fella.

We're just passin' through.

We got some business at the
bank and then we'll be on our way.

Oh, you don't have to worry.
You're among friends here, Jack.

How much you get
in that job at Silo?

Look, old timer, I'm gonna
tell you one more time,

I ain't never had a job at Silo.

Now, big I am, but Jack I ain't.

Old timer, you ought to go
a little easy on that booze

on these hot summer afternoons.

Come on, Candy, let's go
to the hotel and get that bath.

- Where are they?
- Over at the hotel taking a bath.

All right, Sheriff, get
over there and arrest 'em.

For what? There ain't no
law against takin' a bath.

Don't talk dumb. Arrest 'em
for robbin' the bank in Silo.

I don't even know
that they done it.

We seen the money, and
Salty here told us who they was.

How about it, Salty?
Is that fella Big Jack?

Big as life.

What are you gonna do?

Only thing I can do. Retire.

Retire? You can't retire.

The hell I can't.

Now, look here, we pay
you to be the law in this town.

Yeah, and on what you pay me, I
couldn't even afford to bury myself.

If that's all that's worryin' you, we'll
chip in and take care of everything.

That's mighty big of you,

but the federal officer'll
be by in about a month.

He'll take care of everything.

Hold it, hold it,
hold it, Sheriff.

Boys, what do you say we
double the sheriff's salary?

Yeah!

There you are, Sheriff.

I hope this is all right, sir.
This is the best we've got.

- Oh, it's fine, fine.
- Oh, good, good.

- Bed's real nice.
- Oh, good, good.

Could we get some hot
water and a couple of tubs?

Hot water and tubs?
That'll take a little while.

Like, how long?

I'll make that water boil as fast as I
can, but you know the way water is.

It... It's water.

Yeah, so it is. How long?

- Half hour?
- That's just fine.

Why don't you get right
on it and get started on it?

And if you gentlemen want
anything, anything at all,

just pull this
service bell here.

- Yeah.
- Oh, I forgot your key, Mr. Cartwright.

Hey...

- Did you see that?
- What?

Fella gave me this key
and he winked at me.

So maybe he likes you.

After what happened
in that saloon,

I'm not gonna be surprised about
anything that happens in this town.

- Big Jack.
- Oh, come on.

That old fella just mistook
me for a friend or somethin'.

Did you see the way
those people looked at you

when that money fell
out of your saddlebag?

Like you were a bank
robber or somethin'.

Hey, yeah. You know
something, Candy?

Maybe we ought to go down
and get that bank draft right now.

A lot of people know how
much cash we got on us.

Why not? We won't have any
water for a half hour anyway.

Yeah.

They're coming out!

I've seen some dead towns
in my day, but this is ridiculous.

You ain't kiddin'.

Hey.

Come here, boy. Here, boy.

Friendly too.

Yeah. Well, let's... let's
get on down to the bank.

Hey!

- Hey, open up!
- Hey! Open up!

Come on, open up, open up.

We're closed.

Closed for lunch?

No, uh, closed. Closed.

It can't be more
than one o'clock.

Uh, we close early on holidays.

Oh. Oh.

- Is today a holiday?
- I don't think so.

Me neither.

What holiday?

Good Tuesday.

Good Tuesday. That's
a new one on me.

Me too. Um, maybe
it's a local holiday.

Maybe that's why it's
so quiet around here.

Yeah. Well, we ain't gonna
get nothin' done here today.

- Might as well go and get that bath.
- Yeah.

We can get what we want
in the mornin'. Come on.

And that's the
last thing he said:

"We'll get what we
want in the morning."

What are we gonna do?

Keep the bank closed
till they get, that's what.

- Won't do no good.
- Why not?

Big Jack don't care
if that bank's closed.

He'll blow the front
door off of it tomorrow.

If we could only get that
federal marshal in time.

Well, you can't, unless you can
get Big Jack to wait four weeks

afore he robs the bank.

Then what are we gonna do?

Look, Salty, this Big
Jack's a friend of yours.

Now, why don't
you go over the hotel

and ask him not to rob the
bank, just for old times' sake?

Now, hold on a minute.

- I don't know no Big Jack.
- What? We know you know him.

We seen all that money
he stole with our own eyes.

I don't give a darn what
you saw, Bobby Dan.

You was the one that said I
was a liar and didn't know nobody.

Well, fine, as far as I'm concerned,
gentlemen, I don't know nobody,

and you can just get yourself
out of this mess without old Salty.

Ha!

Oh, boy.

I didn't know a hot bath
could feel so good, did you?

Me neither. I had enough
dirt on me to grow grass.

Hey, pull that dealy over there

and get that fella to come up and
bring us some more hot water, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I'm sort of
glad that bank wasn't open.

This way we'll get to sleep
in a nice soft bed tonight.

You rang?

Yeah. Wondered if you could
bring us some more hot water.

Certainly, certainly. It's
boiling and ready to go.

Oh, friend.

And a happy Good
Tuesday to you too.

Thank you.

You know, for a little hotel, this
is the best service I ever did see.

Oh, boy.

Coming.

You sign in. I'll get your
room keys in a few minutes.

I've gotta get
some hot water first.

Hold it!

We're tired and we
want those keys now.

Well, I'm terribly sorry,
but you'll have to wait.

For your information, the gentleman
who's waiting for that hot water

is none other than Big Jack.

Big Jack.

A wise move.

Big Jack, huh?

Now, that's what I would
call a real strange coincidence.

Wouldn't you, Sid?

I sure would, Big
Jack. I surely would.

Pass the ketchup.

Mmm. This is what
I call a breakfast.

Why don't you drink
it out of the bottle?

It's good on eggs.
You ought to try some.

Dad burn. 9:15 already.

I guess we ought to get
over to that bank, huh?

Yeah.

You know, room service,
first time I ever had it.

Could spoil a fella.

Think I'll get Hop Sing to bring my
breakfast up to me every mornin'.

Are you kiddin'? Hop Sing
couldn't carry your breakfast.

- Howdy.
- Mornin'.

- After you.
- No, after you.

Kind of a quiet town, ain't it?

Yeah.

Say, don't I know you?

I don't think so.

You look familiar.
I just can't place it.

Wouldn't be a fella by the
name of Big Jack, would it?

Big Jack?

- He's a tall, handsome john.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah. He don't
look nothin' like you.

Bank's still closed.

Why'd they be closed today for?

I don't know. Maybe
it's Good Wednesday.

You fellas know what's
goin' on around here?

No, we're strangers in
town, just passin' through.

Why don't we go
down to the saloon?

Maybe they can tell us if
they're gonna open up later.

Yeah, it's a good idea.

You two fellas are waitin' for
this bank to open, you can forget it.

The only way to get
in there is break in.

- Probably.
- Yeah. See you.

So they think he's Big Jack.

You know, Sid, I just may kill
him and collect my own reward.

Beer.

Hey, friend, do you know whether
they're gonna open that bank today?

Uh, why not?

Well, we've wasted
enough time around here.

I don't like to do it this way, but it
don't seem we got no choice. Come on.

- They're headin' for the hotel.
- What d'you suppose they're gonna do?

They're gonna get dynamite and
blow in the front of the bank, that's what.

They're gonna take our
life savings, that's what.

Salty, it's your last
chance to help us.

Will you talk to Big Jack?

Big who? I didn't catch
the last part of that name.

All right, all right, you stubborn
old coot. Have it your way.

All right, men, now, we
can't let them get away with it.

I want you to go to your
houses, get your guns.

We're gonna surround that hotel.

When they come out, we're gonna fill
'em full of more holes than a wormy apple.

- What do you say?
- Now, wait a minute.

You can't just shoot 'em
down. I mean, that's murder.

It ain't nothin' of the sort.
They're wanted men, ain't they?

- Well, ain't they?
- Well, yeah, but...

Well, that's settled, then.

Well, maybe I can go over
there and just talk 'em into leavin'.

Yeah, yeah, I could
probably do that.

Well, why didn't you
do that in the first place?

I was goin' to. I was just foolin'. I
was just funnin' a little, that's all.

- I'll go right over there now.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait a minute.

Seems kind of funny to me, you
bein' anxious to help all of a sudden.

Well, I... I told you,
I was just foolin'.

Oh, oh, I know what you told us.

You told us this fella
used to be a friend of yours.

So?

So, maybe he's such a good friend,
you don't want nothin' to happen to him.

Maybe you're in on
this bank job with him.

Now, that's just plain silly.

Maybe it is and maybe it
ain't. But we can't take chances.

- Right, men?
- Right.

Right. Now, first I want
you men to get your guns.

Salty, I want you
to talk to your friend,

get him to give himself up,

and we'll keep him locked up here
for a month till the marshal gets here.

Why can't I just go over
there and tell him to get?

'Cause we don't
trust you, that's why.

Besides, they might come back
tonight and rob us. Now, how about it?

I guess it wouldn't do
any good for me to tell you

that I don't even
know who this fella is?

Salty, will you
quit your funnin'?

How about it?

All right, I'll... I'll go
over there and ask him.

What if he says no?

Then we'll have to kill him.

Let's go, men.

Yeah, what can I do for you?

Well, I wanted to talk
to you about somethin'.

Look, old timer, we're trying to
get packed and get out of this hotel.

Well, that's what I wanted to talk
to you about. It's awful important.

Well, come on, come on. You
can talk while we're packin'.

Go on, talk.

Well, you see, it's about
a matter of life and death.

Yeah? Whose?

Yours.

You'd better sit down.
This'll take a while.

You see, it all started yesterday,
right before you boys rode into town.

Well, actually it
started 15 years ago,

but the part about
you started yesterday...

This ain't no joke?

Afraid not.

Then we either go to jail
for a month or get shot?

Afraid so.

I just don't believe it.

I can't really believe that... that
this is happenin'. I just can't believe it.

Well, I know just how you feel.

I just wish there was
something I could do.

There is. Go out there
and tell 'em the truth.

Won't do no good.
They won't believe me.

- Why not?
- 'Cause they don't want to.

- Well, that don't make no sense.
- Yes, it does.

You see, when I first come to
Sunville, everybody had just quit livin'.

Oh, I mean they was
breathin' and everything,

but they wasn't really livin'.

Just wasn't nothin' to do,
and even less to talk about.

So I started makin' up
stories. Everybody loved it.

- Until yesterday.
- Some fellas called me a liar before.

But they'd always get over it.

But yesterday everybody
was feeling so downright low,

and, well, they seen you.

And I figured they'd get
a big kick out of thinkin'

they had a real
bank robber in town.

Well, I hate to disappoint 'em,
but I ain't goin' to jail for no month.

He did give you a
choice, you know.

Oh, that's funny, very funny.

I'm just tryin' to be helpful.

Hey, maybe we could
slip out the back way, huh?

No good. They got
the hotel surrounded.

What are you sittin'
there grinnin' about?

I think I may have an
idea that might work.

Well, come on, out with it.

The fellas out there want Big
Jack either in jail or dead, right?

Right.

And Salty wants everybody
to be happy, right?

So?

So... Big Jack...

it looks like you're
just gonna have to die.

Hey, Salty's been in
there nearly half an hour.

Well, he better come out
soon or I'm gonna have to leave.

You tryin' to run out on us?

No, no, but I've only
got an hour off for lunch.

The bank's closed.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I guess it is.

Hey, look.

Don't shoot! It's me, Salty!

Come on out!

- Don't shoot!
- Hold your fire.

Well, is he comin' out or not?

He's comin' out, but
he won't give himself up.

- Well, if that's the way he wants it.
- It's not the way I want it.

You shoot it out with him and
some innocent folks'll get hurt.

I told him to meet me out here
on the street, just him and me.

- Just you and him?
- That's right.

Why don't you hide back here with
us and we'll all shoot him at once?

- Somebody's bound to hit him.
- I couldn't do that.

That's agin the code
of the gunfighter.

- The gunfighter?
- Yes, sirree, Bob, the gunfighter.

Now, you men just take cover
and let a professional handle this.

Come on out, Big
Jack. I'm a-waitin'.

He didn't mean you, Big
Jack. He meant that Big Jack.

That's far enough, Jack.

You always did like to
back-shoot a man, Jack.

Now's your chance.

Make your play.

That was the corniest
thing I've ever seen.

- Got him right through the heart.
- I know.

Some of you fellas'll give me
a hand, I'll fit him for a pine box.

Well, boys, I think
I'll have myself a beer.

I don't know who that Big Jack
was, but I'm sure glad he wasn't me.

I never seen anybody
shot like that before.

One thing for sure, I don't want that
old man around when we hit that bank.

Gentlemen, I'd like
to propose a toast

to the toughest, fastest
gunfighter in Sunville.

Pah! Make a chipmunk
fight a grizzly bear.

Salty, from now on,
nothing's too good for you.

And we'd like to apologize
for thinkin' you was a liar.

Oh, forget it, boys,
forget it. I can understand.

I can see how it would be
hard for a layman to believe

the fantastic things that happen to
the honest-to-goodness gunfighter.

Not anymore. We're gonna believe
everything you say from now on.

That's for dang sure.

Well, now that everything's
safe, I better get that bank open.

- Thanks again, Salty.
- Oh, think nothing of it.

I'd do the same thing again.

Well, let's hope the same thing
never happens again. See you, boys.

Well, that reminds me of a little
matter that happened up in Montana.

It was so cold that your
breath would freeze into icicles

comin' out of your mouth.

Whoa.

Sorry it took me so long.

Fella at the livery stable
didn't wanna rent me a rig.

There's no hurry now.

Yeah, I guess not. Don't you think we
better load the coffin onto the wagon?

We'll fetch it for a dollar.

- All right.
- In advance.

It's the first one on the left.

You feeling all right?

Uh, yeah.

Uh...

What's in here? A horse?

Let's give him back his dollar.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

This one's light as a
feather. Come on, grab it.

I don't know if we should.

What are you whisperin'
about? They can't hear you.

- I know that, but...
- It don't make no difference.

They ain't gonna get any
deader than they are right now.

Come on, grab it.

10, 15...

Uh, 20.

That's correct. And
here is your receipt.

Oh, thank you.

I certainly hope we do
business again sometime soon.

You bet.

Sure the old man'll
stay in the saloon?

Yeah, when I left, he
was drinkin' pretty good.

I haven't seen anybody go in the
bank since the old geezer opened up.

We'll hit the bank in 20
minutes, just before it closes.

You see, these young
'uns, they act tough,

but it takes an old-time gunfighter to
keep his nerve when the chips are down.

And, gentlemen, you're lookin' at
a man with plenty of experience.

You know, I was just thinkin'.

There ain't many towns lucky enough to
have a fella with your kind of know-how.

- Am I right, boys?
- Right.

Salty, would you consider
being the new sheriff of Sunville?

Me? You want old
Salty to be the sheriff?

Will you do it?

Well... will I...

will I wear the badge
and everything?

Darn tootin' you'll
wear the badge.

All right, boys, I accept.

Let's not take any chances.

Run over to the saloon and make
sure the old man's still drinking in there.

I was just over there
two minutes ago.

Don't argue with
me. Let's make sure.

You don't get a second
chance with a guy like that.

Go on!

Sorry about the bumps,
Hoss. Have you out in a minute.

I'll have you out in
a minute, old buddy.

Then I'll take the rig back and pick
up our horses and come and get you.

I told you it'd work. Huh? You gotta
have more faith in your old buddy.

I got the idea when
I saw that ketch...

Anybody here?

Can I help you?

Oh, it's you. I was
just grabbing 40 winks.

Um, you gave me
the wrong coffin.

Now, how do you know that?

Never mind. I just know.
Give me the other one.

- I can't do it.
- Why not?

It isn't here.

Where is it?

My guess would be about six
feet underground in the cemetery.

Underground?

Well, where...
where's the cemetery?

North of town.

It's getting so a man
can't rest in peace.

Move! Yah! Yah!

And I make you this promise.

As long as I'm
sheriff of Sunville,

you won't have to worry
about no bank robbers.

I have been asked to say a few words
about our old and dear departed friend,

Mr...

What's his name?

Our old and dear departed
friend, Thaddeus Simpson.

And Thaddeus was a man
with a great many friends,

as we can see by this
gathering here today.

He was a generous man
and we shall miss him.

Excuse me. Must
be all the flowers.

As I was saying,
we shall all miss him,

because Thaddeus Simpson
was the kind of man who loved life,

the kind of man who
would never say die.

Hey!

Let's have a little
respect for the departed.

His passing came as a
great shock to his widow,

and though they were
married only a few weeks ago,

she knew the kind of man he was.

And no matter how
impossible the task,

you could always count on
Thaddeus to work his way out.

Terribly sorry
about this, ma'am.

Hey!

What happened?

Never mind. We'll go to town to
get the horses. I'll tell you on the way.

- What's the matter?
- I... I... I don't know.

I... I was sure that was
the combination, but I... I...

Quit stallin', old man.

I... I'm not. I'm not.

You've just got me so
nervous. I must have forgotten.

You better remember, and quick.

Uh, uh, um...

Eight right.

Uh, 13...

You got five
minutes to open it up.

- Five minutes?
- Five minutes.

Oh, dear. Oh...

Um, uh, 13 left.

Uh... eight.

Uh, four... four...
four... fourteen left. Uh...

I tell you, I was
fit to be tied.

I just couldn't believe it when
old Salty here snaked a gun out

and popped him
right in the heart.

I tell you, that was something to
see. Here, Salty, have another drink.

No, no, not... not
when I'm on duty.

Just a little one, eh?

Then we can all go outside

and you can show us just
one more time how you done it.

- How I done what?
- How you gunned down Big Jack.

You boys wanna see
it again, don't you?

Sure.

How about it, Salty?

Well, all right, if...

Don't know why. Why not?

- To Salty!
- To Salty!

Then, uh, uh, um...

You got 30 seconds.

I'll have it open.
I'm doing my best.

I hope your best is good enough.

- You got 20 seconds.
- 20 seconds.

24 left...

Couldn't you come back tomorrow?
We're open at nine in the morning.

You got 15 seconds.

15...

That's it! 15.

15...

Right there.

- Oh!
- Good for you, old timer.

Sid, you tie him up
while I get the cash.

- All set?
- Yeah. How much did we get?

At least 30,000.

Let's make sure
the coast is clear.

Coast is clear.
Go get the horses.

Right.

That's far enough, Big
Jack! That's far enough!

You always did like to
back-shoot a man, Jack.

Salty...

Now's your chance. Oh, shut
up. Let me go on and finish this.

M-M-Make your play.

Oh, no, not again.

I ain't gonna try him.

Me neither.

Oh, shut up, will
you? Let me go on.

You heard me, Big
Jack. Make your play.

Well, we already killed you
once. What are we gonna do now?

Well, I don't know about you,
but I'd rather spend a month in jail

than go through that again.

Come on!

Get the money.

Wait a minute! You didn't let
me do the part where I go bang.

Salty? I thought you killed him.

Salty?

Salty?

Salty?

Come on, try to sit up.

Come on.

You feelin' better?

I'd feel better if I was dead.

Oh, it ain't as bad as all that.

Not as bad?

I'm a laughin' stock of
the whole town, that's all.

Salty the gunfighter
back to Salty the old liar.

Everything was
goin' so good too.

What went wrong?

Just about everything, Salty.

Yeah, they... they know
I ain't Big Jack now.

Yeah, and they know I'm
not what I claimed to be.

You fellas mind if I ride
along with you a little ways?

- Where are you headed?
- Don't make much difference.

Just someplace where... where
an old man can live out his years

without folks laughin' at him.

I'd just like to get away
without having to see anybody.

That ain't gonna be easy.

Huh? Why?

Everybody's outside, Salty,
across the street, waitin'.

Dad burn it, I don't
have to see them.

Especially that Bobby Dan.
He'll get on me something fierce.

You're gonna have to face
them sooner or later, Salty.

Why can't I just slip out the back,
make out like I don't know they're there?

Why don't you just go out the
front and face 'em like a man?

All right.

All right.

I'll let 'em have their laugh.

I guess they've earned it.

Listenin' to my
hogwash all these years.

Maybe I'll get lucky and kick
off before I get across the street.

Go on, Salty. Get it over with.

All right, all right, go
ahead. I deserve it.

You sure do, Salty.

Here.

When Detective
Cartwright there told us

how you planned the whole
thing from the beginning

just to lure the real Big
Jack out in the open,

we was mighty proud.

And we realized you
ain't just a great gunfighter.

Salty, you're a great lawman.

The real Big Jack?

You caught him red-handed.

We got him and his partner
back there in the mortuary.

Go on, put it on.

Well, I don't... I don't really
think I ought to wear this.

I... See, I'm...

Salty, this town needs and
deserves a good lawman.

You can't let 'em down now.

Well... I suppose you're right.

I was thinkin' about joinin'
back up with the Texas Rangers,

but I guess that can wait.

All right, boys.

I'll be the sheriff.

Wait... Wait till
the word gets back.

Sunville's gonna be famous
all the way to New York,

maybe even to St. Louis.

Come on, Sheriff, let's
have a cold one to celebrate.

It sounds good to me.

You fellas go ahead.
I'll be in in a minute.

All right, Salty. Don't
be too long. Come on.

Where you fellas headin'?

Headin' home, Salty.

I wish you could
join me for a drink.

Wish we could, too, buddy,
but we really gotta be goin'.

Well, I... I never
will forget you boys.

We won't forget
you either, Salty.

I just wish there was...

Well, I wish there was
something I could do to thank you.

Hey, there is.

Go on down there to the
saloon. Tell 'em one for us.

Hey, Salty!

Hey, Salty! Tell us about
them Texas Rangers!