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Nermeen: I'm on crutches currently,

so the airport staff are wheeling me around

and I'm very thankful for that.

I'm a little nervous about flying.

Specially... a few planes in a row

and different airports

with different Covid prevention...

precautions and measures.

But, if this is what I have to do,

then this is what I have to do.

Hello!

Speaking Arabic

This is my childhood home.

I grew up here.

It's where I'm most comfortable.

And I'm sooo happy to be home.

It feels right.

My mom's health is not so great,

so I'm grateful that I could be here at this time

to take care of her and monitor her health.

But it again splits my heart in two because I know that

this is a vacation and I will need to leave soon.

Mama

A stray river slices through ice,

pulsates

Carries memories of home

Carries memories of you

I started writing poetry after I moved to Canada.

It was triggered by... the feeling of being a foreigner,

in isolation and the immigrant experience.

There's so many things I miss about Egypt.

But I think the thing that sticks out the most

is the family gatherings.

It's the... it's a tough one, because it's not only

your immediate family.

It's your extended family.

Every time I go, I'm reminded by what I miss.

What I miss and what I've missed out on.

And... it's always too short.

You get to visit with your loved ones for...

a couple of hours?

Each?

To try to fit in years.

You try to fit in who you've become, who they've become.

And...

You know, you never know whether you're going to be

alive tomorrow.

So...you...I always think about it as: Is this the last time?

Is this the last time I'm seeing...

I'm seeing those people?

It's very tough.

Yeah, I hate it.

I hate it.

Sometimes it feels like...should I even not go?

So that I don't have to experience that?

But at the same time when you're there

it's so fulfilling.

It's so fulfilling to be there and...

and to be reminded of who you are or who you once was.

It's tough.

It's tough.

It all hits you when you're on the plane,

on the way to Edmonton.

It's like this has happened, I have already left.

I'm going back I'm flying back ten thousand miles

across an ocean.

To the Western side of the second biggest country

in the world.

That's a lot of distance.

Feels like I'm living in exile...

at some point.

It's more prominent when it's time to celebrate

Eid or Ramadan.

So I was fortunate enough to meet a group of really cool

women in Edmonton from different countries and

different walks of life: Lebanese, Egyptian, Sudanese,

Moroccan, Iraqi, Tunisian.

A bright mix of personalities and warm hearts.

I think what made us gel was the humour.

They love to laugh.

And they're amazing cooks,so...

And then Covid happened.

We moved our gatherings onto Zoom and yeah,

we walked around with those weird phones,

just trying to capture what we were doing at home in lockdown.

My remote isn't working, sorry.

I'm hearing something else.

Son: Wait, mom, are we doing the documentary right now?

Daughter: Jude, you ruined it!

Boy: What?

Girl: That was the whole thing!

You're not supposed to mention it!

Hala: Laylan, why are you enjoying working from home?

Speaking Arabic

Sanaa: Through the multiple lockdowns and reopenings

it was...

It was bringing a lot of anxiety.

At some point, you know, you feel very isolated.

Even though I had friends and they're like they were allowing

to have a cohort for somebody who's single, living alone.

What I miss most about Morocco is family.

I miss my parents, my brothers, my nieces and nephews.

Yeah, I miss, you know, the family warmth

and just, you know,

the proximity even though we talk on the phone regularly.

I talk to mom and I call every now and then my brothers

and other family members,

but it's not quite the same when you're there in person.

Nedra: It's not easy, it's not easy.

At all.

And another challenging thing for me with Covid was

having my kids do online schooling at home.

My son drove me crazy.

Raising my kids between the two cultures is a bit challenging.

The way we try to keep them

connected to their Lebanese heritage

is by making sure we expose them to the

Lebanese community that's here in Edmonton.

So we make sure we're always together so that our kids get

exposed to our Lebanese way of life

without basically dictating it on them.

And they just live it.

Perfect!

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Part of the problem I faced personally is I had to

adjust my understanding of my own culture and heritage

when I started raising my kids here.

There is a fine line between assimilation

and integration, and that scared me.

I did not want my children

to be assimilated.

I wanted them to be integrated.

So, what are you gonna make?

Son: I'm not telling you.

Why did you teach me to bake?

I feel like that's not very common.

I don't think I taught you how to bake.

I think - first of all you grew up seeing me and your dad,

both of us, in the kitchen.

It's never been dictated that I am the woman

that has to do this or...

My husband is the man, he has to do gardening,

for example and there was all the tasks were

equally shared since we both worked.

It just comes naturally.

There are chores in the house that have to be done.

It's done between us.

So if--

Daughter: Except for the ironing, and laundry.

Nedra: That's the two things I don't do.

Son: My own personal critique of our culture is still that,

often times those gender roles do continue to really exist.

Nedra: Uhuh.

And I feel like how that's how it generally is.

But you're right, in our nuclear family

everything's all fairly easy.

Father: What about the other family that are our friends?

Nedra: The same.

Father: I think it's the same thing.

Son: And I wonder if part of that

is the reality of immigration.

And that like you have no family support so you both have

to take care of the children.

You have little income and resources,

so you both have to work.

Tereza: Well if even in a country that

shows the difference.

Look,a girl gets born, she wears pink.

A guy gets born, he wears blue, right?

So even the difference in treatment is here.

It's not only back home.

The gender role is quite different in North America

and it has different luggage to it.

So, the perception in North America is that the rest of the

world is the same as them or us, in North America,

and they carry the same luggage.

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Women in the workplace have to go through many more

barriers that the men sometimes don't even think they're there,

And I believe that's why women among each other,

among ourselves, are harder on each other, because of that.

Because we worked so hard to build that image we don't

accept that one of us come and show this weakness.

I think we are very hard on ourselves and each other.

Nermeen: Can we all, just like, say the prayer of

"God grant me the confidence of a mediocre white man?"

Carmen: Yes, thank you. If only!

Nedra: How about we end up this beautiful meeting?

That was really, really nice having you all ladies and...

if we hear Aya before we leave

and we say our goodbyes just after

she gives us a little tiny thing to listen to

that would be awesome.

Nedra: Bravo, bravo, Aya!

Speaking Arabic

Well, let's meet again soon ladies.

Tereza: I look forward to seeing you next time guys!

♪ piano music

Aya: Do you wanna wash your face?

Daughter: Why?

Because I don't like this make up.

It's...

It's not nice.

It doesn't look beautiful.

You look beautiful without any make up.

I love you without any make up.

Daughter: No!

Aya: Yes!

You look much better without any make up!

Oh my goodness.

Nermeen: Good to see you.

You're looking beautiful.

Laylan: You too.

You know, this beauty takes hours to prepare.

We are just not naturally beautiful.

You are naturally beautiful.

Nedra: In North America we see a lot of this commercialization

of women's bodies.

Whatever thing they're advertising for,

we always see a woman as a sex symbol,

sitting there with whatever she's trying to show.

To tell them I have the right product for you.

So is that... is it being a powerful mother can only be

if you have the perfect body?

Or is it a woman can be only successful only if she's

beautiful and attractive?

Tereza: People always said to me: You know,

you are so pretty... But...

and that "but" used to kill me.

Because every time

somebody told me I'm pretty

they put the word "but" right after it.

You need to lose weight.

I remember at one point I went to a picnic and...

this is something that really hit me that day...

that the guy... who I mention was not a skinny guy.

He was a big guy.

He was not maybe as big as me, but he was a big guy.

He goes to me: Tereza! Tereza! Come here!

And I'm like, OK.

I went.

And he goes to this girl: Come, come, come!

Let's take a picture.

And he took a picture.

And then he turned the camera at her and said: You see,

you said you're fat.

Look at her!

You are nothing compared to her!

And I think at that moment I... The first time somebody

mentioned that in front of me, I broke down.

But I always laughed at people when they say...

I always took it as a joke.

And it wasn't a joke to me.

It always hurt me.

So, I... sorry.

I'm thankful for my husband because he...

you know, he made me feel like a queen.

He did not think I'm fluffy.

You know?

He even... he goes: You're a perfect fluffy pillow.

And you know?

I laugh because you can see he loves me for who I am.

Sanaa: when it comes to dating, why is it that in a lot of

different cultures and religions why is it that women

have to stay virgins?

Until they get married?

You know, it doesn't always apply to men.

Hala: The fact that...

Speaking Arabic

Whether we like it or not it's still

Speaking Arabic

I think we were all... I can assume and assume right...

we were all raised in a conservative society. Right?

Whether religious or not, we were all expected to abstain

until after marriage.

And if you don't, the honour of the family is in question.

Not only your honour.

Aya: It is sad that there are honour crimes in our community.

Like, women are getting killed because of that.

Are you talking about the dating itself?

Or are you talking because they are engaging in a sexual

relationship with their... ?

Aya: Yes. In some, let's say, not modern villages, yes.

Because...who can... who can discover if the sexual

relationship was involved in that or not?

And that made me think as well of the problem that's

occurring right now more and more...

Especially since the lockdown, and since Covid has started.

We hear more and more about domestic violence

and sexual assault.

I mean it's always been there.

But I think it's going... it's going up.

And we heard so many cases have been happening,

even in Edmonton here.

There's a... something called Claire's law

that rolled out in Edmonton, have you heard of that?

In Alberta... sorry, on April 1st.

And it's a law that enables you to check if the person that

you're with was convicted of abuse or assault

or anything like that.

Also, one of your good friends can do that for you.

But convicted here is the key word.

That means you had to take the person who assaulted you

all the way through a trial and got him convicted

and now it's on their record.

This law does not capture formal reporting to the police.

It does not.

That person could be accused of sexual assault and rape,

but it's not on their criminal record.

I think it's a great step, in terms of having the information

about the person you're choosing to live with

in closed quarters.

But there's more to be done about that.

Aya: It's about educating the victim,

and it's about like... giving them their rights and enough

knowledge to know how to fight over their rights.

Nermeen: I don't disagree with you Aya,

but I'll raise you this: I would say it's about

educating the aggressor.

Carmen: I agree with Nermeen that educating the general

people not to be an oppressor to begin with is more important

because it's more preventative.

Also, we still want to empower each women... each woman...

to take the decision herself.

We don't want someone from outside interfering and

deciding for her... what's best for her.

I think about it in a sense where...

well, what happens in our countries...

Like I remember growing up in Cairo and people touching my

body without my consent.

Nedra: Right.

Or hearing things that I did not welcome

at all while walking down the street.

Before, I couldn't report it.

But that's changing now.

Now, you can go to the police and tell:

Look, this person did that to me.

Then again, we do have a long way,

because surprisingly the community comes together

and says: No!

Do you want him to lose his job?

Why do you want to drag him into that?

And then you'll be going in and out of police stations

all week.

Let it go, forgive.

Weaponization of forgiveness is one of the most...

harmful things.

Nedra: That brought me to think about an issue of the right

women to their own bodies.

Like if we have a look at what's happening in the United

States and the abortion issue in the United States.

It's a huge one.

I think that the issue of abortion in the States is more

than talking about the medical piece of the abortion itself.

A lot of contention in the US came from the fact that the

right to have abortion and the right to safely access abortion

services was made mainly by lawmakers that are

predominately men.

This is a huge problem, I think.

Because women's health issues are being politicized.

And decision making is happening by people who are not

the primary stakeholders.

So...this goes beyond pro-life and pro-choice.

One has to argue that it's about women having the right to

voice for themselves.

Sanaa: Nedra, I don't think it's, you know,

I don't think it's mainly men kind of pushing that agenda,

but... it's a mix of men and women as well.

Like just throughout the pandemic I am seeing that there

are lot of people protesting against wearing a mask

because of Covid,

and they are claiming: My body, my freedom.

Yet the same people are against abortions.

So, how do you square that?

Certain topics... the way they are used... is to serve

certain political agendas.

In this day and age where people get their news from the

Internet or Facebook I think it's very easy to sway them

a way or another.

I don't know, like, I don't understand this big hype on

abortion myself.

It was never looked at as a taboo in my society.

So, to see it happening here in North America at that scale...

It kinda... I don't understand, or it kinda

takes me by surprise.

I agree with Hala.

I don't understand the big issue here in North America.

In Egypt, if a woman's health or life is threatened by that

pregnancy, it's a green light to abort the pregnancy because

both lives are valuable but the mother's life is more valuable

than the foetus's at that point.

It should be a case by case.

It's not one blanket covers all.

And it should be approached by care and caution.

Not with judgement at all.

Now we've been really fortunate to have each other

once this Covid is gone, hopefully soon,

we'll be able to meet in person.

And I cannot wait to give you each one a hug, a big hug.

Cause, how long since we haven't been able

to see each other, ladies?

Nermeen: Speaking Arabic God willing.

Hala: Well, have a good evening, everyone.

Nedra: Thank you so much.

Hala: It's always nice to chat with you.

Nedra: Absolutely

Hala: Looking forward for the next time.

Nedra: Hopefully in person!

Hala: Hopefully.

Hala: Goodnight! Nedra: Goodnight!

Speaking Arabic

Nermeen: We were all starving for real interaction

after all that time.

So I can't wait, can't wait to see them.

I can't wait.

I decided.

Today will be my last on the glacier

I will pack my curls and leave

Hoping they will find company with yours.

Nedra: I'm so excited to see all of you again... my gosh!

Speaking Arabic

I'm so excited... I'm telling her it's been two years!

Carmen: Hi!

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: How are the grandchildren?

Nedra: Good. Really great.

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: So cute.

speaking Arabic

Carmen: How was the drive? Aya: Amazing.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: All good?

I had to ship it from Syria, so it had to be like...

Carmen: Protected.

Aya: Yeah, yeah.

Because like it's hard to find one here.

Laylan: I know.

For the instrument, you have to touch it,

you have to feel it.

Laylan: I know.

You have to play it, then you can feel if it's the good

fit for you or not.

Because there's a communication between,

like, you and the instrument.

So I had to bring it from Syria.

The revolution happened in Syria...

And there was lots of chaos.

There was lots of struggles,

there was lots of sadness around.

And, unfortunately, I get inspired by tragedies in life.

So I wrote a song for... about the moms who lost their kids

in the war.

And that song became as a way for them

to release their sadness.

And to express their feelings.

It became a very famous song, and as a sample of what's going

on in the area.

So that's why the Oud was my weapon.

When everybody was fighting using real weapons...

I was using my instrument as a weapon.

Tereza: Hello!

Nedra: Hi, hi, hi!

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: Oh, my God.

You look so beautiful!

Tereza: Oh, my God, I miss you guys!

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Oh, my God.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Hi, sweetheart, how are you?

speaking arabic

Nedra: We were going to listen to Aya.

Tereza: Yeah, Aya!

Nedra: She was going to play something for us.

Aya: Yeah, of course.

I've missed... I've missed your Oud.

Speaking Arabic

To skip this part

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Can you believe it is snowing?

We are almost at the end of April and it's snowing outside.

Nedra: You came what time of the year...

When you came to Canada?

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: We came in January.

I remember I told my husband, We were landing and I told

him: I think they took us to Siberia.

Are we mistaken?

I remember when we left the airport I took a breath

and I could not breathe.

I said "I can't breathe."

Aya: Are you kidding me?

Take us back.

Nedra: Sanaa and Nermeen at the same time!

Wow, Sanaa!

Nermeen: Trouble!

Nedra: Double trouble!

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Sanaa, I miss you! I miss you, I miss you.

I finally get to hug you.

Nedra: It's so nice to see everybody.

Tereza: It's good to see you all.

Nermeen: It's been too long.

Nedra: What, two years?

No Ramadan with friends.

Carmen: Speaking Arabic

Nedra: Yeah.

Sanaa: Yes, yes.

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: Yes, it's been a while.

Nedra: It's too bad Hala is not with us.

Nermeen: Where is she?

Nedra: She's in Mexico.

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: But we miss her around with us you know.

Carmen: Covid hasn't been fun.

Except for Laylan.

Speaking Arabic

Laylan: It wasn't fun for any of us.

Why're you saying just for me?

If we wanna take care of the greenhouse emission and

reduce consumption we should encourage people to work from

home because it's proven to work.

Nermeen: But I miss humans.

I feel like I've become so awkward around people.

Nedra: It's so true.

Laylan: Go to the mall.

You can go outside.

Tereza: Speaking Arabic

Laylan: Go to my house.

It's fine.

I can hug you, talk to you.

Nermeen: You can hug me any time.

Last time, I was in a store.

And something, you know, got into my nose.

So I sneezed.

And, seriously, I kid you not, Everyone went like this.

Carmen: You parted the sea.

Tereza: I know!

Speaking Arabic

But I hear you.

It's just... we became so conscious of people around us.

It's like, relax.

Relax.

But can you imagine, we're sitting here

complaining about this?

Imagine if there's a war going on

at the same time.

Carmen: Why imagine?

It is there. It is happening, it is bad.

Nedra: It's so unfortunate.

We thought, ok, we're reopening everything.

We're happy to start all over again.

Sanaa: It's the end of the pandemic.

The end of the pandemic.

And here we go... we hear there's a war.

Sanaa: Yeah.

Nedra: It's really sad.

I really feel for these people, the Ukrainians.

I mean, it's been awful.

I was reading about ten million people have been displaced.

Nedra: Yeah.

Like whether internally or to neighbouring countries.

In total.

Ten million people.

Carmen: Yeah, I've seen the rocketing.

How it was targeting big cities.

And during the time there were a lot of reports

coming from Ukraine.

It's like... people were talking,

it's like we're staying,

we're gonna fight We're gonna resist.

We're gonna defend our country.

But I have an issue. I am so sorry.

I don't wanna be a negative person,

but we have people dying all over the world.

All over the world.

And suddenly, all the attention is about Ukrainians.

I have lots of Ukrainian friends.

I appreciate them a lot.

But I find the... it's a war...

At the same time,

they're focused because they're European.

They're not Middle Eastern.

Like, for example, till now people are getting misplaced...

In, for example, the Palestinians.

You know, they're getting misplaced.

No issues talking about them.

You know, like, we need to...

Carmen: It's how the media portray it.

That's what's different.

It's like it's OK and expected to happen in Iraq or Syria or

Palestine or Afghanistan.

It's OK to happen there.

It's OK for the people to be in suffering

because they are expected to suffer.

Aya: Some countries are meant to be this way right?.

This is ridiculous, right?

And meant to be this... because they are not civilized

Nermeen: Do they actually say that outright in the news?

Sanaa: They did.

It was really... some channels, some anchors,

ended up straight out saying it's that... Ukrainians are...

you know... they're blue eyes, blond hair.

- They're Christians - They're like us.

Aya: They are not like Syrians.

Sanaa: They are not like the usual refugees

that you would see.

Carmen: Yeah, who you don't know where they're coming from

Sanaa: Yeah, so that's how like a lot of media covered

I think the media coverage in some channels was really bad

from that perspective.

I support Ukraine.

I went out for the rally.

I have Ukrainian friends.

I went out for the rally here Downtown and everything.

But for me, you know, compassion and empathy

would be for everybody.

Regardless.

Nedra: Absolutely.

Sanaa: And you have a country that was thriving,

people that were living their lives.

And all of a sudden there's bombing and they have to

flee the country.

You know... because of... you know...

Carmen: War is ugly.

War is ugly anywhere.

And happening to any people.

Exactly.

Carmen: That's the thing.

And that's what was missing in some channels

because they were trying to... I guess...

for the other populations to show that you should have

empathy and compassion for these people more than others.

But to me, it shouldn't-- Carmen: Do you think--

It shouldn't be that way.

Carmen: But that's the colonization mentality.

Sanaa: It is.

Carmen: That's it.

It never went away.

It was just under multiple layers.

It's like... we invade the countries.

We use the resources.

We enslave the people.

We displace the people.

But then we go home to Europe and put those victory monuments

that we are civilized nations.

Speaking Arabic

Laylan: Actually, I felt bad for him.

Because he has very limited information.

Speaking Arabic

Laylan: One of the birthplaces of civilization.

Home of science, mathematics-- Sanaa: Art.

But I think it's also... there's an "us" and "them".

And there is still a...

like a superiority complex kind of feeling that

Europeans are above Africans or above Asians or Arabs, or...

Carmen: Everyone?

This is exactly it.

The nations that colonized most of the civilized world,

like starting from India, all the way to Morocco...

These are the countries, and all the way down to Africa...

all of Africa.

These are the countries that used up the resources

from these countries.

Even when the colonization ended and they left these

countries back to their, like, original people,

they left them in very bad economical situation.

Literacy was really bad under colonization.

They tried to eliminate the people's languages

in some countries and enforce their own.

And enforce their own culture because it's better.

Nermeen: Including here.

Carmen: Including here.

Nermeen: Yeah.

Carmen: Aboriginals... can we talk about that?

Nermeen: Right.

Nedra: The residential schools.

Carmen: Yeah.

Internment... it's-- Nedra: The Japanese internment

Carmen: Yeah.

Up till today, people are still talking about

what happened to them.

And no one knew about it in the schools here.

Laylan: My homeland was in Baghdad.

But every summer break...

Speaking Arabic

I call it "Happy Months."

Just because I speak Arabic,

right away they assume I'm Muslim.

I'm like, it's like... no.

Arab is a language.

Yes, Islam has that base... this is their language, right?

But I'm Christian.

Really?

Is there Christians in Sudan?

Carmen: If you can imagine!

And then I tell them: You know south of Sudan?

It's mostly Christian.

Really?

We thought it's only Muslim.

No.

What are you?

I know you're not Arabic Arabic.

Kurdish.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Right?

Laylan: Not Arabic Arabic?

Tereza: Well, you live in an Arabic country.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: You belong there.

Speaking Arabic

And they get the right, somehow,

to tell us you can't solve your problems in a civilized way.

In a peaceful way.

You created a problem to fight over

and then you judge how we are fighting over it

and why we're fighting over it.

Nermeen: Like, when it happened in Iraq

speaking Arabic

It doesn't look like you have democracy.

You've been fighting.

Speaking Arabic

Beyond the ocean.

Nermeen: Be democratic. It's an invasion... straight up.

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Two million and a half?

Speaking Arabic

Nermeen: Oh, my goodness

Speaking Arabic

Nermeen: So democratic.

Speaking Arabic

Canada is the best place for our kids to start...

to build their future,

Speaking Arabic

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Palestine is ongoing. It's ongoing.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: Oh, my God.

Speaking Arabic

She is the little girl...

Aya: She was nine years...

Speaking Arabic

She stood up in front of an Israeli soldier saying:

"This is our land" This is our country...

Speaking Arabic

She is a Ukrainian girl.

And this post...

Aya: Went viral.

Nedra: Ukrainian girl, why?

Because she is blonde and blue-eyed?

Aya: Yes. So, fake news.

I feel sorry for the Ukrainians.

And I feel sorry for the kids there who are displaced from

their country of course.

But also, we feel sorry for our people.

Sorry for taking so long, or for speaking so much

for this topic.

Because I get emotional, you know?

Do you remember there was these two beautiful

supermodels... Gigi and...

Carmen: Bella. Nermeen: Bella.

Bella Hadid.

Tereza: Do you remember?

As soon as they mention...

Nedra: Huge thing about them.

Sanaa: Oh yeah.

Tereza: As soon as they mention that their father is

Palestinian, suddenly they are--

Carmen: Not mention... they posted his old passport.

Tereza: Yeah.

Nedra: Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah Cause he was born in Palestine.

Carmen: Yeah, well, what else should he say?

We should go back in time and wipe that history

and pretend it never existed?

The censorship is what bugs me.

Like if you write Palestine... Nedra: They close your account

Yeah, in a post... and I think Vogue rewrote it

or reposted it I can't remember.

Right?

Tereza: Uhuh.

Nermeen: It was something like that.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: It blocks some posts that are related to Palestine or

related to these people, you know? So...

Carmen: In English. Aya: Yes...

Speaking Arabic

Like an echo chamber.

Carmen: Yeah, tell each other, but don't tell us.

Aya: It depends on the country.

So, breathe out.

This is your window... this is your space to just express your

anger and release your...

Carmen: You think people hear you.

Aya: Yes, but the algorithm works an important role.

It's so sad.

What about sports?

Sports... I remember when, Aboutrika?

He's an Egyptian football player...

Speaking Arabic

Football! Football forever football.

Speaking Arabic

I remember there was one game where he was wearing a

Speaking Arabic

and there was heavy shelling and bombing...

like it was misery over there as it often is, unfortunately

And he got punished for it.

Carmen: Yeah?

He got punished because there's no politics in sports.

And now, in sports, we're openly discussing Ukraine.

Ukraine and supporting, and that's fine.

I mean, if it's fine, it should be fine for everyone.

If it's not fine, it should not be fine for anyone.

Tereza: True!

When people say we have to focus on Ukraine and if you

talk about anything else, that's whataboutism,

I don't understand that.

You're an adult who can hold two independent thoughts

at the same time.

You can have compassion for the Ukrainians.

You also see how that incredibly different focus on

what's happening there compared to what happened in our

countries and Africa and China and all of these places

Nedra: The Uyghurs...

Nermeen: It makes people feel more more invisible.

Carmen: India, Pakistan

Nedra: India, Pakistan and Kashmir.

Nermeen: Exactly... but even, like if we're talking about

Edmonton, for example.

You cross the bridge, it's yellow and blue.

Speaking Arabic

I think about an Ethiopian refugee,

I think about a Palestinian, I think about a Syrian.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: They didn't get that much attention.

Nermeen: Nobody asked the kids to put on clothes that resemble

the flag of any of these countries.

They're in class with the Ukrainians.

It just brings out the invisibility.

Sanaa: When they portray Ukrainian women,

it's a sense of...

You have that sense of support and power and it's an inspiring

message that they are fighting for their country.

But, when it's a girl or a woman from another country

defending and standing up for the very same rights,

it's not portrayed the same way.

Carmen: It's dual standards.

It's... like it's natural and normal for everyone to do what

the Ukrainian women and men did.

This is normal.

Your land is under attack, you defend your home.

That's normal.

And this is exactly what happened in all other countries

that had been under war.

Except that they look different,

so they are an enemy.

They dress different, so they are uncivilized.

No one looked at me differently when I was home.

But here, I have to explain myself.

I have to... I used to be very shy person.

I had to shed that shell very quickly

when I started travelling.

I had to... I had to let people know me.

I had to talk.

I had to speak up.

Uh... because if I don't, I can't afford it anymore.

I can't afford not doing that.

Because everyone has an opinion of me.

And it's not me.

Nedra: I mean, look, even at the media when... how they

portray Arab women.

Nermeen: Arab women?

On the covers of books?

It would probably be something like the Orient,

or the Mystery of the Orient...... whatever that is.

Where you can only see the eyes.

Lined eyes... and just eyes.

I gotta tell you... the rest is not important.

Carmen: More mysterious.

You see them either helpless and oppressed, or exotic!

Like you said.

They either show you total extremes...

Do you see a woman pilot, engineer, businesswoman?

Homemaker, but she has a great education?

She chose to be at home.

You don't see that.

It's always portrayed as that helpless woman,

or women wearing that... Sanaa: Submissive.

Nedra: Very submissive.

Nermeen: Usually a third wife.

Nedra: Yeah.

We don't have that in Tunisia, we don't.

Not polygamy.

Carmen: You don't have it in the law.

But that's the thing.

In Egypt, it's permissible.

By the law.

But how often does it even happen?

Nermeen: Who has the money?

Who has the courage?

Speaking Arabic

Sanaa: A lot of people think that maybe there isn't enough

feminism because of the religion.

So, is there feminism in religion?

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: This tradition of women being scrutinized has been

going on for hundreds of years.

We still see a woman as a body.

Not as a mind.

Same thing in the Arab world.

Women are still fighting for their rights today.

But there is a place for feminism.

We can see violence, whether in the Western culture,

or in the Arab world, still exists against women,

against children.

So as long as women are speaking up for their rights,

as long as they're showing they are there to fight for this,

I think the Arab world will be better on.

It's just a matter of time.

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: It's my pleasure, honestly.

I'm so excited to see you all.

Speaking Arabic

Bon appetit.

Nedra: This is excellent.

Speaking Arabic

Exactly.

Tereza: Why is it that when... I don't know,

I see it mostly in our Middle Eastern culture...

When we invite five people, we cook for fifty?

Sanaa: Because it's better to have more than not enough.

That's how...

Speaking Arabic

Nermeen: Yeah, that's the thing.

You're not supposed to assume the number

of exact people.

You invite six people and twelve come.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: I know.

Nedra: She's busy eating.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: I'm officially... I am married.

As of a few months ago. In the church.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: So officially, after ten years of marriage,

I'm married in the church.

Speaking Arabic

The second round?

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: This is really nice you guys.

It felt like back home... a piece of home here today

seeing you all.

Having some tea with pine nuts.

It does feel like home, true

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: Days like that you miss home.

You don't feel Ramadan here the way you feel it back home.

Tereza: And even like the festivity of Easter,

not just Ramadan... any kind of festivities.

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: That's what brings us to the issue of identity.

Us being here, living here for years.

Do we feel we belong here and not back home anymore?

Or do we still have that nostalgia to home?

Or am I able to, when I go back home, to settle there?

- Nermeen: You struck a chord. - It's hard.

I think this is the first generation immigrant curse.

I don't belong here and I don't belong there,

but I'm longing for my originating country,

- That's exasctly what it is. - for my origin.

And when I go there I don't feel fully at home.

Because there's another home over there.

Sanaa: You're living between two cultures.

For me, when I'm here, everybody sees me as the Moroccan.

And when I go to Morocco, everybody sees me

as the Canadian.

Women: Yup... true.

Carmen: You don't even live between the two cultures.

You are the two cultures, in the same time.

Sanaa: I identify as both, and I do see that I understand

fully both cultures.

But like, other people would notice certain subtleties and

certain differences.

And so that's why when I go to Morocco with my family,

But then with other people they're you know,

"You're too Canadian."

Nermeen: You struggle.

Carmen: I think when we leave home... when we left home...

we made a decision to make a new version of ourselves.

So the old life is a memory in the new life you live.

And then you're neither here nor there.

Nedra: That's exactly right.

You're neither here nor there.

Carmen: Yeah.

You're like both.

I don't know how.

Sanaa: You're constantly, like for me,

I'm constantly thinking about my parents, right?

Like my mom now, because my dad passed, right?

So it's been difficult.

And then when I was here, every time I hear something,

especially when it's something very important,

then I have to pick up and go.

Like when dad was sick I had to pick up and go.

And then I spent some time there.

He kind of started getting better, came back.

And then all of a sudden he passed.

So then within a day I had to leave, which is,

you know it--

Nedra: Did you make it to the funeral?

Sanaa: I did, well, by the time I got there they had buried him.

It was the next day, right?

But I was there for the rest of the funeral.

Because you know how it goes... Nedra: I know.

- For forty days - I know.

But you weren't there for the funeral.

And I wasn't either.

And that's why you say: What did I miss here?

You know... I didn't make it.

And then you get scared when you get that phone call in the

middle of the night telling you that bad news

and you don't know what to do... You're lost.

It's hard. It's hard.

Nermeen: There's that feeling of helplessness,

especially with the distance.

You know, when my mom got sick...

Yeah... when your mom got sick too.

Nermeen: And then... at that time it was Covid.

My siblings weren't... they couldn't fly in.

And she was by herself.

So, when I flew back it was...

I kept on thinking about so many different things Like...

Speaking Arabic Thank God...

I have the privilege of being able to just

pick up and go.

That's right.

Nermeen: I thought about a lot of people here within our

community who just...

- They cannot. - they can't afford it,

they can't advocate for themselves...

Aya: Or you have kids and you can't just take them and go.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: Unliveable anymore.

And even to take that trip was like kind of adventure

and dangerous even.

But I had to do it because I wanna see my family.

I want to live all the details that I've missed,

Like during the past five years or six years.

Speaking Arabic

I tried to invite my family.

And because I don't make enough income to sponsor them and to

go through the whole process it's hectic and it's undoable

and... I am struggling, seriously.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: And I feel jealous sometimes.

Let me say it out loud.

I feel jealous when I see, like,

other nations coming here easier than Syrians.

So I'm by myself here raising my daughter and I tried

as hard as possible to bring someone here.

Still trying, you know?

I don't know.

It's like this topic brings me lots of memories, and...

Nermeen: Of course Aya: Yeah.

Nermeen: I'm sorry, Aya. That must be very difficult.

Aya: It is difficult, but... You know,

we're not the victims.

We're just trying to change our destiny and make it happen

and fight for what we want and move on.

That's what we want.

Nermeen: Right.

As an immigrant it's like we choose to prove

something or we feel like we have to prove something

all the time.

We're here, we wanna prove to the society that we belong here

Nermeen: Right.

Carmen: And we're successful and we contribute to the

society as everyone else.

But we wanna prove it.

And we wanna prove to our family back home that we also

are successful and it wasn't a bad decision to leave there

and to come here.

Nermeen: That's it, that's the guilt.

Like... Living in a way that makes sense,

that says that it was all worth it.

Right?

When you're missing all the important events in your

families' lives in your friends' lives.

You can't fail.

- Yeah. - You can't fail.

Failure is out of the question.

You have to live well to justify missing all of that.

Carmen: Yep.

Tereza: So for me, I'm the first generation.

So I have a little bit of a different experience

than you guys.

When I came in, I came as a child.

So, this is my home.

I remember when I came here I used to cry.

I wanna go back home.

I had no friends, no people to talk to. So...

So it's the same for us.

Like, for me, being here over 30 years,

Going back home for the family and now I still have my mom and

my brothers and my sister but I don't have friends there.

I lost my friends.

That connection is gone long time ago.

So, beside my family, there isn't much.

That's it.

Here is where I have my friends.

So, here I have my friends I have my comfort zone,

my home my kids.

And there, I have my family.

So do I feel more comfortable being home here?

Or do I feel really good being with my family?

I don't know.

I actually cannot...

They feed different parts of you.

But that part of identity bugs me because if I'm here,

I have a good life I have my children I am home.

But I still have something missing.

I go there... It's the same thing.

You gotta fly back.

Nedra: If I fly back, I have something missing too.

You have multiple homes. That's it.

Nedra: Multiple homes!

Aya: Two homelands! We have two homes now.

Nedra: Yeah.

It's basically that. And it's gonna stay this way.

There is no way to bring everything together anymore.

Aya: Once I wrote a poem about this and I said, like...

Speaking Arabic

Nermeen: Totally.

It's not what you call when you left it.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: Yeah.

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: You see that you missed on a lot of things.

You missed on... weddings, success moments

that your brothers and sisters had to go through.

You lose your loved ones.

When I lost my dad in a split of a second.

You see your mom getting older and frail.

You see your nephews and nieces growing up

and you haven't been there.

You miss all that.

I still feel Canada is my home.

I spent more than my...

I didn't spend much in Tunisia...

I spent only 18 years in Tunisia.

I left when I was 18.

So... but it's engraved in me,

the love of my country is there.

The love of my family is there.

But Canada is also home.

So it took away from me that family, loving caring time.

But I tried to make it up.

Sorry.

I tried to make it up by going more frequently.

But I missed a lot in Tunisia.

So, having said that...

Canada is in the heart too as much as Tunisia.

So I belong to both countries.

That's who I am... Tunisian-Canadian.

Sanaa speaking Arabic: Umm Ali!

Tereza: The "mother of Ali" is a really, really good dessert.

Nermeen: Don't set the expectations too high

if they didn't like it.

Nedra: Speaking Arabic Laylan likes the tea.

Laylan: Speaking Arabic I'm going to take it with me.

Nedra: Oh, I didn't bring things for the fruit.

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Heart attack!

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Oh, my God.

Having you girls after all this is just amazing.

- It was very nice. - Thank you!

Thank you for getting us together, Nedra, in your house.

You're very welcome. It was really special.

We really appreciate it.

After all, after two years. Very special.

Aya: Speaking Arabic

Tereza: I can't believe it!

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: Ohhhh!

Tereza: You know, I just want to tell you that I'm very

thankful we live all here.

Because it gave us an opportunity to mix and mingle

with different cultures.

Even within our own Arabic culture.

Sanaa: Yeah.

Like I would have never--

Speaking Arabic

Aya: Thank you Nedra... so much. For everything.

Nedra: You're welcome. My pleasure.

Aya: And thank you for this gathering

Nermeen Speaking Arabic: Beautiful gathering.

Aya: Yeah.

Nedra: It's so nice.

Nermeen: You did give us a little piece of home.

And you grouped all the uncivilized people together.

Thank you.

Tereza: See?

I'm not the only one who picks on people.

Nermeen: You can help bring some of this to the kitchen.

I'm not taking all of that.

Aya: Thank you... thank you so much.

Nedra: We'll do it again, God willing.

Aya: Of course.

Aya: Speaking Arabic Thank you, thank you, sweetheart.

Awaiting your visit.

Nedra: Speaking Arabic: God willing. God willing.

Nedra: And if you do something special,

or a concert... let us know.

Aya: Yes, yes.

Nedra: See you.

Carmen: Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Yes. I actually thought it was gonna be nice and warm.

Nedra: No, it's not.

Tereza: Biggest mistake ever.

I keep forgetting.

Welcome to Canada.

Nedra: Laylan, don't bother. Leave it like that.

Nedra: I will see you soon.

Sanaa: Thank you!

Nedra: Take care.

Sanaa: You too.

Nedra: I'm gonna miss you.

Drive safely.

Sanaa: Thanks.

Speaking Arabic

Drive safely, ok?

Nedra: Bye, Carmen. Carmen: Bye!