Original subtitles

--== McEphie ==-- For latest releases visit moviesnipipay website

Of course!

It's like... I want the truth.

I thought I'm your first boyfriend.

Of course, love!

Why aren't you a virgin anymore?

Love, you're really my first boyfriend.

The others were my customers.

Wow Mani OST Performed by: Pio Balbuena, Janno Gibbs

Siyam! Siyam!

What's that?

Siyam! Siyam!

Someone's shouting "siyam !"

It's like a ritual.

Ritual?

Here!

Siyam! Siyam!

Look!

There's a hole!

There's a sign.

"It's forbidden to look in here." Oh, we're not allowed to!

I'll peek inside.

- Someone might be naked inside. - Whatever.

Ouch!

Sampu! Sampu!

Siyam! Siyam!

Hmm...

So, you're applying to be a nanny?

Yes.

Ah...

Wait a minute, I just want to ask you a question.

Are you affectionate towards children?

No, I'm not.

Then why should I hire you?

I'm very sweet to the father of the kid though.

Then, you're hired.

Yeah.

You can start now.

You can be sweet to me.

Can you do it from Monday to Sunday? No rests?

Okay, okay.

Excuse me.

Just a second.

So, did he pass?

- Is he okay? - My god, Mars...

The guy you set me up with...

He's so ugly.

And he smells bad.

And it seems like his vision is awful.

And he looks like he doesn't take a bath.

Look at his face.

And geez... He doesn't talk!

It seems like he has all of the flaws in the world!

- Hey, don't bother whispering. - Huh?

Why?

- He can't hear us. - Oh.

Oh...

- Oh no. - Say hi to him!

You're so handsome.

Wow, you make me horny.

One more hour before the mayor arrives.

Mars, I might not be able to come in tomorrow.

I have a urine test.

It's just a urine test. What's the problem with that?

I don't know what my problem is.

I'm so nervous.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Are you kidding me?

That’s just easy.

Why don't you review?

It's just an exam, right?

Boss?

Oh, Olga.

You're here.

You were calling for me?

Yes, yes. Come in.

What is it?

I have something important to tell you.

I noticed that you have a problem while working.

Well, boss...

It's okay.

Tell me what the problem is so that I can help you.

Boss, my mom went abroad to work.

What?

Yes.

I really miss her.

And...

She's upset with me, boss.

Oh, is that so?

I really miss her, boss.

I really want to talk to her, boss.

But we're busy at work.

That's right, boss.

But boss, I will do everything so that I can talk to my mom.

Really?

- You will do everything? - Everything.

What are you waiting for?

Do it.

Do everything. Right?

Yes.

Hello, mom?

Mom?

Mom, can you hear me?

Mom, don't be upset!

I'm here, mom.

Mom, I really miss you!

- Hey. - What?

I heard that you were spreading rumors that my breath stinks!

It wasn't me.

It's you! What do you mean it wasn't you?

It wasn't me.

- Don't lie to me. - No, it wasn't me.

What? You keep saying it wasn't you! What do you mean then?

It wasn't me.

I can't...

I can't breathe. Shit.

Can you ask the airport how long is the flight from Manila to Paris?

Okay, boss.

Hello?

Hello, airport.

I just want to ask how long is the flight from Manila to Paris?

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, thank you.

Boss.

It's pretty short.

How long is it then?

Well...

They said, "just for a moment."

Oh, Mars. You know what?

I read somewhere that women become more beautiful when they get enough sleep.

- Really? - Yes. And I believe that.

Wait, Mars.

You might be lacking in sleep then, huh?

Oh, Mars. It's too late.

You can't do that anymore. You know what?

That's how it is. Acceptance is the key.

- Mars. - It's okay.

- Mars. - We'll accept you.

It's okay, Mars.

Hello, pizza delivery.

Hi. I'd like to order pizza.

Oh, yes. What flavor?

Um, Hawaiian. 16.

16. Okay.

What cut do you want?

- Four slices, or eight slices? - Four slices.

Just four slices.

I might not be able to finish the eight.

Honey, what are you watching?

I'm watching porn.

Look at this one.

Plumber.

What is that?

That's not realistic.

- It's exaggerated. - Why?

Just because you don't watch porn?

It's not realistic?

Well, it's really not realistic.

Look. It's exaggerated.

How can you say that?

Look at that plumber's dick.

It's big.

The ones that repair our pipes, they're pretty small.

It's this small.

[chattering, giggling]

Hey! You're here!

I'm upset with you two.

You two went to the cinemas yesterday!

Oh, right. I'm sorry we didn't invite you.

Aw, don't be upset anymore!

Don't worry, we'll be watching a movie tomorrow.

- Want to come with us? - Mhm!

No.

You two go ahead.

I don't want you pitying me.

Ugh...

Where can I find jeepneys here?

- Straight ahead. - Yeah. Left, left!

- Left? - Yeah, left!

- Okay. - Then go straight ahead again.

- Straight? - Yeah, yeah.

If what crawls on a person is called lice,

and what crawls on a dog is a tick,

what crawls on a horse?

A horse?

A human.

A human?

What crawls on a horse?

It has lice too...

- A man? - A man?

That's what a woman crawls onto.

If what crawls on a person is called lice,

and what crawls on a dog is a tick,

what crawls on a horse?

Dust.

You?

Um...

Well...

- I don't know. - You don't know?

- You give up already? - Um...

Well...

Maybe... a beetle?

If what crawls on a person is called lice,

and what crawls on a dog is a tick,

what crawls on a horse?

It's still lice and other bugs.

If what crawls on a person is called lice,

and what crawls on a dog is a tick,

what crawls on a horse?

A flat iron?

Correct!

Okay, sir, pick your prize.

100 pesos,

or I'll kiss and hug you.

- I'll get the 100 pesos. - 100?

- Oh, why? - I'm too shy.

Hello everyone, and welcome to...

Battle of the Braless!

Thank you, thank you.

Of course this is brought to you by PlayTime,

the fastest growing online gaming platform.

This is your host, Janno Depp, at your service.

Here, two universities will compete with each other.

So let's start the game.

Let's call our contestants.

Let's start with the one from...

Puyatang University of Sobrang Aral, or PUSA.

Hello, Team PUSA.

- Hello, sir! - Hello!

Good luck to you.

And their opponents are from...

Advanced School of Overnight, or ASO.

- Hello, Team ASO. - Hello.

Good luck to you.

As you can see, our game today is a bit intense.

ASO and PUSA are the two competing universities!

Okay.

Contestants, do you have any cheer?

- Yes. - Yes, we do!

Who will go first?

- Us. - Team PUSA.

Let's hear your cheer.

Five, six, seven, eight.

- Meow! Meow! - Meow! Meow!

What a simple cheer, but they still weren't on beat.

Team ASO.

Show them what you got!

ASO!

That's how you do it.

They were both on beat!

They don't have any energy but they're both on beat.

They made up for that lack of energy.

Okay, let me explain the mechanics.

Students, contestants, we have three categories.

Easy, difficult, and final round.

In each category,

the one who doesn't get it right will have to do a consequence, or punishment.

In each category.

But don't worry because you can choose your punishment.

Okay?

- Are you ready to play the game? - Yes.

I can't hear you. Are you ready?

- Yes. - Ready!

Okay. Check your buzzers.

Team ASO.

Team PUSA.

Okay.

Let's play Battle of the Braless.

And this is the easy round.

Our category is Cardiology and Romanticism Combined.

In English...

Listen carefully.

In English, it's called Heart.

In Tagalog, it's blank.

What is this... Wait.

What is this part of the human body

that starts with the letter P?

Go.

Paa .

A little higher.

- Yes. - Pata .

A little higher.

Pusod .

Navel? A little higher.

- Puyo . - That's too high!

That's too high, you passed so many parts!

A little lower.

Pilik mata .

Uh, okay, okay, fine.

Here's another clue.

This body part is always beating.

Yes.

- Pulse. - Yes! Pulse!

- Pulse! - Pulse...

Okay.

It's close, but that's not what we're looking for.

- Another clue. - We're wrong?

This is what a man desires the most from a woman.

What is this part of the body that starts with the letter P?

- Pussy! - Oh my!

- Right? - How vulgar!

No. That's not it. Okay, listen up.

This is the last clue.

When a man isn't able to get this, his blank hurts...

- Yes. - Puson ?

Abdomen...

- Abdomen! - Why that?

Well, he wasn't able to get the pussy,

- that's why their abdomen hurts. - Right, right!

- Abdomen! - Abdomen! Sir, we're right!

If you don't get that, your abdomen hurts!

- Oh, actually... - Right, sir?

- Right! I got it right! - That's possible, but...

But that's not what we're looking for. I'm sorry.

Nobody got the right answer.

The part of the body we're looking for is...

Butt .

Right?

- Oh, the butt? - Does it beat?

Yes, when you twerk.

- Twerk! - Oh right.

- He's right. - Oh yeah!

Okay friends, that concludes our easy round.

Let's recap the scores.

Team ASO has zero, and Team PUSA also has zero.

It's a tie.

- Yes! - They are proud they have zero points.

Okay. And like what we talked about,

because you're both wrong, you both have a consequence.

Let's call Miss Consequence in.

Come on in!

Don't we have any other Miss Consequence?

How can she get one? You keep dancing!

Okay!

Thank you. Let's start with Team PUSA.

Here are your choices...

First, you will jump barefoot on burning coals.

Or, you will take your top off.

Pick your consequence.

- Yes? - We're going to remove our top.

- What's that? - We're going to remove the top.

Okay, you guys chose that. We did not force you.

Here's the consequence of Team ASO.

Team ASO, here are your choices...

You will use a jump rope barefoot,

on a floor full of thumbtacks.

- That hurts. That hurts. - Or...

Does that hurt?

Or, you will take your top off.

It's up to you to decide.

Are you sure?

Team ASO, what's your decision?

We'll take our top off.

- Is that so? Okay then. - Yes, we'll take it off.

We did not force them. That's what they chose, my friends.

This is just the start!

When we come back, next up is the difficult round,

here on... Battle of the Braless!

Mars, last night, I cleaned my daughter's room.

I saw a lighter.

- Oh! - I was surprised.

All this time she had cigarettes!

I didn't know that.

You know what, Mars?

I cleaned my daughter's room too.

Then I saw a wine glass.

I didn't know she had wine?

My gosh, Mars! Me too!

I cleaned my daughter's room

and I saw a condom.

I was shocked too!

Why?

I didn't know that...

she has a manhood!

And Battle of the Braless is back!

Friends, let's continue to the difficult round!

Girls, are you ready?

- Yes! - Your category is...

Sports, Biomechanics, and National Treasure combined.

Here's your question.

Manny Pacquiao is famous for his skill.

That's why he's named as Pambansang Blank.

Go!

Singer. National singer.

Sometimes when we touch... It's wrong.

- Yes! - National artist.

That's still wrong!

- Yes? - Politician?

- National politician? - No, it's still wrong!

Basketball player? National basketball player?

That's still wrong!

Endorser? National endorser.

No! That's wrong!

Any other answer?

Boxer?

- National boxer? - Yes! You're close!

- You're close! - Oh my god!

Okay, listen carefully.

This is...

This is what he uses to punch!

It starts with the letter K.

- Kanan ! National right! - Wrong.

- Kaliwa . National left! - No, wrong!

Left, right. You just flipped it!

Uh, it's like this.

There.

Kamay ! National hand!

This! Like this!

Uh... kuko !

- National nail! - No, like this, like this.

Kalyo .

National callous.

- Callous! - I already gave a hint!

- Wrong! You're both wrong! - Oh no!

We've run out of time. I'm sorry.

The K that we are looking for is...

- Kulugo . - Oh! We were close!

And here's the recap of the scores.

Team ASO with zero.

And Team PUSA with zero too.

It's a tie!

They're so happy with their points, everybody.

Alright. Let's call Miss Consequence!

For your consequences!

Which you will choose.

Get one... Okay.

Next.

Alright.

Okay.

Let's start with Team ASO first.

Team ASO.

These are your choices...

You'll get close to the cars.

And you will pee on the wheels with your feet up.

Or...

You will take your skirt off.

While they're thinking...

What is your decision?

- We'll take our skirts off. - Yes, we'll take it off.

Okay.

Thank you.

Team PUSA, here are your choices...

You'll be put in a sack,

and taken deep into the forest.

Like a cat... Just like a cat.

Or...

You will take your skirt off.

Just like them.

- We'll take our skirt off. - We'll take it off.

Okay. That's what they chose.

We did not force anyone.

My friends, as you can see, things are heat--

I mean, the battle is heating up!

We'll be back. for the final round.

Here on...

Battle of the Braless.

- Mars! - Oh, how are you?

Good thing you're here in Manila.

Yes, Mars. I just arrived here last week.

Oh, it hasn't been that long.

Mars, do you know what an elevator is?

- Elevator? - Yes.

Oh, Mars.

If you want to go up to a certain floor in a building,

you'll have to ride on an elevator.

- I see. - Mhm.

So, you just have to stand in front of the door, where it opens and closes.

It goes up and down.

And what's an... What's an escalator?

An escalator is...

It's just like stairs.

But the elevator itself goes up and down while you're standing on the steps..

You can go down.

You can also climb up.

I often get on those!

Wow, you're really amazing!

And what's a calculator?

Calculator?

Uh...

I don't know.

I haven't ridden a calculator yet.

Welcome back to Battle of the Braless!

My friends, the battle is really hot.

We're here in the final round!

Girls, are you ready for your last category?

- Yes, we're ready! - Yes, let's go!

Your category is Showbiz and Storytelling combined.

Here's your question.

One of the most popular sexy stars in VMX is...

Blank Raval.

She was the first introduced in the movie,

"Gusto Kong Maging Pornstar."

Who is this Raval?

Go!

- Jeric Raval. - This person is a woman.

Miss Jeric Raval.

Younger, young.

Little Miss Jeric Raval.

No, no.

Jeric Raval's daughter.

Little Miss Jeric Raval Jr! Yes! Little Miss Jeric Raval Jr.

No, no! You're all wrong!

The answer we're looking for is...

Miss Rodel Raval.

♪ Lumayo ka man sa akin ♪

There! Okay.

My friends, let's recap the scores.

Team PUSA with zero.

And Team ASO with zero as well!

It's a tie!

- It's a tie! - Let's call in Miss Consequence.

For your consequence. Come in.

Okay, please pick one.

That's good already.

Can I?

Team PUSA.

Your choices for the final round are...

You will have ten teeth pulled out without anesthesia.

Or, you'll take your bra off.

- We'll take off our bra. - We'll take off our bra.

Why did you choose that?

It might hurt if I don't have anesthesia.

My classmate here only has nine teeth.

She doesn't reach the minimum, so we'll take our bra off.

Okay, that's what they chose.

Team ASO, your choices are...

Your tongues will be pulled out and nailed at the entrance of your school.

Or, you'll take your bra off.

- We'll take our bra off! - Yeah.

Why did you choose that?

It'd be a waste of a nail,

and we might become late for school if our tongues are nailed to the entrance.

- I don't want to waste my education. - Yes, yes.

Well, friends, that's their chosen consequence.

Take off your bras.

Friends, I hope you enjoyed today!

This is where our game ends.

Thank you very much to Playtime,

the highest cash back online gaming platform.

Hey, cover yourselves up! The consequence is done.

I will say goodbye now.

This is Janno Depp, the luckiest host in the world.

We will see each other again here on Battle of the Braless.

Wave goodbye! Wave bye to the fans!

Bye!

Hey, they can see it! Cover yourselves up!

Bye!

Wow Mani OST Performed by: Pio Balbuena, Janno Gibbs