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Oh, thank god!
Say what? Okay, well --
Revenge! I will get revenge.
Hush. Hush, hush, hush.
I'm on the phone, baby.
Okay, where are you guys now?
I'm just glad everything is
Okay.
Who's okay?
Malik.
He was arrested for shoplifting.
What?!
I'm not paying no bail.
I'll bet that.
Okay. Okay, fine.
I'm not paying no fine,
Neither.
Uh-huh. Yes, he did.
I told him.
Well, okay.
Well, I'm glad you guys are --
I'm glad everybody's at home.
All right. Okay, bye.
Aw!
C.J. And janine and malik and
Everybody's at home now, curtis.
Well, good.
Wow.
Do you know what floyd did?
He raised his prices.
No, curtis --
$25! $25, ella!
Do you know what I can get for
$25?
You are making a big deal out
Of nothing.
Go to another barbershop.
I don't know what to tell you,
Baby.
What?!
See? You women.
I mean, y'all be trippin'.
You done lost your mind.
That's crazy.
Let me tell you something, ella.
There's three things you don't
Change -- your team...
Your wife.
...Your barber...
Your wife.
...And your pastor.
[ laughs ]
Baby, you -- you don't even go
To church.
And that will never change.
Look, curtis, I am sure that
Floyd is raising his prices so
That he can just keep up with
The cost of living.
Did you think about that, hmm?
Baby, floyd lives with his
Mama.
His cost of living is
Embarrassment.
That's what his cost of living
Is.
[ sighs ]
Ooh, I'm not taking this laying
Down.
Give it up, curtis.
Oh, no, I ain't giving this
Up.
Give it up, curtis.
No, I ain't gonna give it up.
I ain't gonna give it up.
Okay, don't play.
I ain't gonna give it up.
Curtis!
You know what?
You're doing too much.
I'm gonna crush him.
Oh, you ain't seen too much,
Baby.
You ain't seen too much.
I'm gonna crush him!
No, you won't.
I will not take this laying
Down!
Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
Curtis, where are you going?
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go lay down.
I am bushed.
Holler at you later, baby.
[ siren wails, horn honks ]
So, do you know how hard it's
Going to be to get you into a
Good college now that you have a
Record?
Yep.
Instead of going to penn state,
You're gonna be going to the
State pen.
So, malik, did you braid
Anybody's hair?
[ laughs ]
I didn't steal anything.
No. Narcel slipped a video
Game into his jacket.
Yeah, and I didn't know about
It.
They got it all on tape.
So, no tattoos?
No solitary confinement?
I told you to stay away from
Narcel.
Could you make me a license
Plate?
Okay, jazzy, that's enough.
I don't want that boy back in
This house again.
You got it?
I want my plate to say...
"Jazzy."
Yeah, I got it.
What?
Yes, sir.
Where's t.I.?
Miss wilhelmina, please.
So you were in the joint.
I would have bought you some
Cigarettes.
I don't smoke.
That's not what cigarettes
Are for, fresh fish.
Look, I'm not going to jail.
That's what o.J. Thought.
Okay, I thought I told you
That was enough.
What? [ chuckles ]
I'm just saying what everybody
Is thinking.
[ chuckles ]
Go.
Oh, so now I'm on lockdown?
Fine.
I'll make my own license plate.
Got some muscles.
You been out in the yard, ain't
You?
I didn't stay overnight.
How'd you get an early
Release?
You must have snitched.
Malik, go on up to your room.
We'll talk later.
For $32.50, I can
Rehabilitate him.
I got a program that involves
Two guys named deuce and a sock
Full of nickels.
No, as -- as tempting as that
Sounds, no, thank you,
Miss wilhelmina.
You just let me know.
They also move furniture.
We'll take it from here,
Miss wilhelmina.
Where my purse?
You can't trust them once they
Get a taste of that thug life.
He's not a thug,
Miss wilhelmina.
Or a thief.
Whew!
Y'all got a smart-mouth little
Girl, a son doing hard time, and
A mama and daddy that ain't
Never home.
Y'all are just begging for a
Reality show.
[ babies crying ]
Babies crying.
No, just sit there.
I'll raise your kids.
And I raise them right.
You know what I got to get?
I got to get a speaker system.
It's hard for me to do my art
Without music.
Something missing over here.
There's something...
[ click, buzzing ]
Look, look, there ain't nothing
Wrong with it.
There ain't nothing wrong.
Look, if you get this side --
Just a little -- well, here,
Give me your finger.
Put your finger there.
Just apply pressure.
It won't bleed.
Ow!
Um...Okay. [ hums ]
You're good. You're good.
Okay. You're good.
Wow! That looks good.
That really looks good.
You know what?
Keep the change. [ chuckles ]
I think I'm getting the hang
Of this, kiki.
Yeah.
Uh, look, why don't you let me
Do the rest of the hair cuts,
Mr. C.?
I got you right here.
Okay, that's good.
I can count the money then.
Oh, you gonna add weave to
The cornrows?
That'll be a good look.
You know what?
Thank you so much for this job,
Mr. C.
And I'll tell you what -- I'm
Glad you're here.
Every good barbershop needs one
Thing -- a checkerboard, a old
Man with braids, and eye candy
With a attitude.
Curtis, what is going on out
Here?
Curtis, what is --
How you doing, miss ella?
Hi, kiki. How are you?
All right.
Get over here, curtis.
Yeah, baby.
[ imitates engine revving ]
[ both laugh ]
Mwah!
Hey, baby, you want a wet set?
Curtis, do you even know what
A wet set is?
What is going on out here?
No, but we're charging $65
For it.
Ha ha!
Give it to you half price.
But what are you doing?
What is this?
Well, baby...This is my
Barbershop.
Voilà!
Who ordered the two-piece
Fish?
That fish is so good.
Curtis, you got jazmine
Involved in this?
Baby, it's a family business.
Send that baby back in this
House.
I got one bottle of moroccan
Musk left.
Say this is temporary,
Curtis.
This is temporary, curtis.
Anyone? It's $5. Anybody?
Don't play with me.
I'm not playing.
Don't play with me.
I'm not playing.
Curtis, this is temporary.
This is temporary.
People out here -- and send
That baby in this house.
Tell nobody what to do.
What you -- what you gonna do?
What you gonna do?
Huh?
Huh? What's that, baby?
Can't tell her anything.
Excuse me.
Where you going?
Where you going?
Wait.
Where you going?
How could you?
How could I what?
How could I? How could you?
And, you know, our hair cuts are
$20.
What?!
Yeah.
This -- I used to live in
This backyard, man!
And I'm still trying to get
The stink out of it.
Incense!
And you!
What about me?
You cut back on my hours.
What you expect me to do?
Get back on the pole?
If y'all keep taking my
Customers, that's what I'm gonna
Have to do!
And, walter, what is margaret
Gonna say?
I can't believe you.
I'm gonna put a curse on all
Y'all.
You can't put no curse.
Take that!
On you.
Bleh!
On you.
Chicken feet -- $2.00.
You can't put a curse on
Nobody.
You ain't even from louisiana.
And don't be mad at me, 'cause
I'm running a real barbershop up
In here.
You take that back.
I will not.
I thought you were my friend.
And I thought you were my
Friend.
Sound to me like y'all need
Some new friends.
Both: shut up, kiki!
Fine.
Take the little barbershop.
Take all my customers.
You even take my little eye
Candy.
But you know what?
You ain't gonna hurt my
Feelings.
[ voice breaking ] Ain't gonna
Hurt my feelings.
[ cries ]
I wonder if this would have
Happened if we'd have been
Around more.
By "We," you mean me, right?
No.
Okay.
Well, yeah.
Yeah?
But I just -- I just asked you
If this was my fault over there,
And you said no.
Well, I mean, I'm working
Long hours, and you, you know,
You're just working that job.
I'm just working that job?
Are we on this again?
You think I should quit, don't
You?
We finally agree.
No, we don't agree.
I like working my job, okay?
And you're never around, either.
I'm around.
You're -- you're around?
Some.
When uncle curtis was fire
Chief, he didn't have to work
Long hours.
I want to do a good job.
How about you just try to
Spend more time here with us,
Huh?
I'm not gonna do this right now.
I have to just go get ready for
"That job."
I'm just saying...
Something's got to give.
[ cellphone rings ]
Yeah?
Okay, be right there.
[ knock on door ]
[ sighs ]
What's up, malik?
Look, you can't be here.
My parents are furious.
Man, you earned your stripes,
Dawg.
How does that feel?
Not great.
I'm on punishment until I'm 65.
Listen, dawg, I need a place
To stay while this blows over.
Didn't you just hear what I
Said?
My parents will kill me!
I'm gonna get kicked out my
Crib.
That's on you!
Look, man, I ain't never had
Nothing, and I just wanted
Something of my own, you know?
So you get me to steal it?
Listen, man, I'm sorry about
That.
I mean, but it was cool just
Hanging out with you and playing
Games.
Come on, bro.
I ain't got nowhere to go, dawg.
[ sighs ]
Look out for your boy.
All right, all right, all
Right.
I'll let you sleep in the
Garage.
Good looking.
All right, then.
Well, just for tonight, all
Right?
I'll meet you around back.
For sure.
Okay, who's next?
Is there one?
Won't you come?
You know, sometimes you just
Got to go with the ebbs and
Flows.
What are all these people
Here for?
For the ambience.
Jerk chicken is ready.
And the jerk chicken.
Thank you, boo-boo.
You're welcome.
What -- what are y'all doing?
Come out of my house!
You -- god knows it better not
Be none of my watches!
Get on!
Get out of my house, now!
These people out here -- you
Know what?
This is out of control.
I'm through with this.
This is it.
Well, well.
How's your little bootleg
Barbershop business going?
Ain't nothing bootleg about
My barbershop.
Move!
I got that bootleg bacon.
$1 a strip. Anybody?
Cutting any hair?
We cut some...Before.
Mm-hmm. I see.
Well, you got people reading
Magazines, got people selling
Stuff, selling fish
Sandwiches...
With real chicken.
Ha! You got a real professional
Barbershop here.
Congratulations.
You trying to get a haircut?
Uh, no, no. No, no, no.
I'm good.
Hold still.
No, no, I'm good. Thank you.
But I will take some of that
Soft-shell bacon, though.
Sautéed or deep-fried?
Uh, blackened.
That's gonna cost more.
Ooh, jazmine?
I need some hot sauce -- in a
Spray bottle for more even
Distribution.
Where are you going?
And who is that food for?
You got a pet out there?
You let me know.
Miss wilhelmina's not getting
Another rabies shot.
Uh, no, no.
Uh, this is for me.
Mm-hmm. Okay, "Me."
[ sniffs ]
I know you're
Lactose-intolerant.
You get gas if you smell cheese.
Uh, uh, wait, wait.
Miss wilhelmina, no, uh --
[ gags, coughs ]
Boy, don't make me hurt you.
And don't mess up my pedicure.
[ straining ] Come on, lady,
Get off of me!
Hold up.
What's -- what's going on?
I found 1pac outside.
Let me go!
Boy, I'll beat you like
You're kunta kinte.
I'll take it from here,
Miss wilhelmina.
Dad, look, this is one big
Misunderstanding.
You lied to me!
That's the misunderstanding!
I told you not to hang out with
This thug!
I ain't no thug!
Well, if the cuffs fit...
Miss wilhelmina!
I'm just saying.
Making me miss my stories.
You're just gonna do what you
Want to do, huh?!
Mm!
Dad, he was about to get into
Trouble.
Boy, you about to get in
Trouble if you don't get out of
My face!
I sw-- get out my face!
Why am I not surprised?
You don't understand, sir!
I don't understand, "Sir"?!
All of a sudden, you got some
Manners?
Man, it's a whole lot you
Don't know about me.
I know you ain't got no
Problem setting up your friend
For something you did.
I made a mistake!
Malik know what's up!
Malik is a kid, just like
You!
And I thought he had better
Sense than to be hanging out
With somebody --
What you gonna do? Hit me?
No, I'm not gonna hit you.
I'm gonna save that for your
Daddy.
My daddy dead!
Then I'll talk to your
Mother.
Good luck finding her.
I ain't seen her since I was 5.
Well, who do you live with?
Man, up until two weeks ago,
I was living in foster home!
Why you care?
Well, why didn't you say
Something?
Man, why should I?!
I'm a thug, remember?!
Who listens to thugs?!
Man, you don't care! I'm out!
I guess owning a barbershop
Isn't as easy as you thought it
Was, huh, bro?
No, but I'm determined to
Make it work.
Curtis, please.
Look, baby, let's just give it
Up, okay?
Give it up, baby.
Ella, stay out of this, baby.
Stay out of this.
Curtis, okay, wait.
Baby, I did some calculations,
Okay?
Look.
It costs you this to get a
Haircut from floyd for only 6
Months.
Look at that.
That's outrageous.
That is utterly ridiculous.
Curtis, baby, it costs you
This to run this barbershop for
One month.
Mm.
Um, is that a decimal point?
No, man, that's a comma.
Comma.
Okay, so you mean to break
Even, I got to charge $150 per
Cut?
Yeah.
Well, who died?
So, look, I can take care of
All of this stuff for you, all
Right, for the right price.
And I mean that you shut down
And you never open another
Barbershop as long as you live.
So we shutting down?
Okay.
Deal.
Day-old lobster dogs.
Come on. Buy one, get one free.
Everything must go.
And another thing, too.
I'm your barber for the rest of
Your life.
Oh, come on, floyd! Come on!
Hey, hey. And you know what?
And you pay my prices.
Hey, can I get my hours back?
Yes, you can, but look, three
Conditions -- one, stop slicing
Up my customers, two, stop
Sending them to the emergency
Room, and three, stop fighting
Them just because they don't
Give you a tip.
Ugh! Baby steps.
Well, at least learn some
First aid.
All right.
Deal?
Deal.
So, we cool, bro?
Yeah, we're cool.
Long as I can get my one last
Free haircut.
Both: jazmine?
Today's the day, baby.
Come on.
Come on.
Why didn't you say anything?
Because I knew you didn't
Want me to speak to him.
Oh, so now you've just gotten
In the habit of doing the
Opposite of what we say?
No.
It's 'cause I knew he wasn't as
Bad as you thought.
He's still pretty bad,
Though.
[ sighs ]
I found him.
What's up, malik?
You good?
Depends on what your folks
Do.
First thing both of you are
Gonna do is go down to that
Store and apologize.
The second thing is go upstairs
And get cleaned up for dinner.
Oh, he -- he can stay?
For one night.
Tomorrow morning, I'm gonna go
See your social worker and see
If we can't find you a more
Suitable foster home.
Good looking out, bro.
I mean thanks, mr. Payne.
All right.
And take that cap off.
Yes, sir.
That's awfully nice of you.
I found him under a bridge.
He's just a kid.
Only difference between him and
Malik...Is us.
This right here is why I love
You.
My chest?
That.
Oh, okay.
[ chuckles ]
Baby.
I'm almost done cleaning up.
What?
Hey, baby, I need, uh, $65,
Please.
$65 for what?
I'm going to the beauty shop.
I need to get a perm.
A perm?
You just got one a few weeks
Ago.
Perm is short for permanent,
Right?
Well, you got a temp.
If it was a permanent, you
Wouldn't have to get another
One.
Will you just give me the
$65?
Won't you sit yourself down?
And for $17, I'll give you a
High-top fade.
How about that?
Curtis, come on, baby.
You play too much. $65.
Please just give it to me.
Ain't nobody playing.
And if you give me $20, I'll
Write your name in the back of
Your head.
Kiki taught me how.
You know what?
I need $95, baby. I'm sorry.
I didn't give you $65.
What makes you think I'm gonna
Give you 95?
You're not gonna give it to
Me?
No. That don't work no more.
No.
You're not gonna give it to
Me?
No.
Okay.
That stopped working three
Years ago.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay.
Huh!
Works every time.
I'll put it on your charge
Card!
Thank you!
Put it on my charge card,
I'll tear that head up!
What?
You put it on that charge
Card, I'm gonna tear that head
Up!
Curtis, what?
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